Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
"Hmm….."- Bijuu


Christmas Special

"So what the hell are we doing here again? Wasn't the last chapter supposed to be the last one of the year or something like that?"

"Eh. Don't look at me. The author was the one who called me earlier today about this special. But hey, at least we're back in as main characters! This last arc hasn't been about us at all. I was so disappointed when I heard that we weren't going to participate in the exams. I really wanted to fight against Minato."

"Speak for yourselves. I'm still in the story! I guess my presence is that much more important than either of yours! Not that it's surprising or anything really."

Sasuke and Naruto glanced at one another. They were both wearing winter clothes, Naruto's coat being orange while Sasuke's being black. The blond was also wearing a green scarf with Sasuke's being purple. They were standing on top of the Hokage tower with snow falling all around them. The bijuu was perched up on top of Naruto's shoulders, currently in chibi form as he licked his paws with gusto.

"So, umm," the blond began, "how exactly are you out of the seal again? And in that form to be more specific?"

Kurama shrugged. "Bah, who cares? It's the holidays! Nothing that happens here needs to be explained! Let's just go with the flow! It's much more fun that way."

Sasuke sighed in slight irritation. "We're supposed to be following a script, right? Answering a few questions and delivering some information. Am I right?"

"Right!" Naruto exclaimed. "As I was saying, this arc isn't really about us. So if any of you are bummed out about us not showing up as much, as you very well should be, then fear not! We'll be back big time in the next arc! The Chunnin exams is supposed to allow Kushina and the others to have their big time on the screen, so to speak."

Sasuke glanced at him. "Even though your recent interactions with Mikoto have raised some…..questions."

Naruto whistled innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about, teme."

"Ha! As if my host would ever end up with an Uchiha. Laughable!"

"You're not the one that decides that, Kurama," Sasuke said with a sigh. "The author is in control of this, remember?"

"Well, the author can suck my nonexistent-"

"Moving on, the question of the pairings has been raised to the author quite a bit recently," Naruto said, cutting in with a wide smile. "And the only thing he has to say about that is that the pairings haven't changed from the beginning. He already knows who we will end up with in the end." The blond then twiddled with his fingers, a slight blush on his face. "I-I don't know how I'm supposed to take this…"

Sasuke sighed again. "You read ahead into the script, didn't you?"

"I couldn't help it!" Naruto said in return. "I was trying to see how the final boss battle will play out, and then I saw who I am going to end up with! I mean, I wasn't too surprised. But it's still embarrassing….."

Sasuke shook his head. "I swear, your curiosity is going to get you killed one day. But speaking of the final boss battle….."

Naruto waved his hands in dismissal. "It's kinda predictable in my opinion. I actually thought the author was going to throw another new villain at us. Although Nori is enough for my tastes, thank you. But hey. At least there will be much destruction and suspense. I'm sure a lot of fans are going to enjoy that."

Kurama perked up at this. "Destruction, you say? How long till we get there?"

Naruto blinked. "Eh…quite a while. There's still Akatsuki, Nori, that new girl, Nori's group of girls, and Orochimaru to deal with."

Sasuke frowned. "And here I thought Orochimaru would turn for the good…..wait, isn't that kind of a big spoiler!?"

Naruto shrugged. "Hell if I know. But since the author didn't censor this, then it probably isn't or he just doesn't care if the fans know of it beforehand."

"And here I thought the mystery and suspense of this story were two of its best selling points..."

Kurama sighed in disappointment. "Pity that we're still so far away from the finale. I really want to get to this destruction part already."

"And here I thought that part of you had changed….."

"Ha! You know you love destroying stuff too."

"…Maybe. No further comments!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Are you idiots still forgetting about the rest of the antagonists? I'm sure you'll get your fill of destruction then…...why did I just say that?"

"Hell yes! You finally say something worthwhile, Uchiha!"

"Zero fucks given."

Sasuke groaned. "I swear, hanging around you two is going to drive me insane. Hell, just being around this blond idiot is enough. I'm pretty sure I can't handle two of them."

"Hey, I resent that! I'm pretty sure I have more character points than this idiot right here."

"Yeah…..you're a talking fox. Big whoop."

"Fuck you too."

Naruto sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "What was the point of all of this again?"

Sasuke blinked. "Bringing the joy and spirit of this most festive holiday?"

"Causing more stupidity for the hell of it?"

"…..I have no response for that."

Shrugging, Sasuke continued, "We're going with my answer. As we were saying, the author also decided to make this special as a thanks for all those who are still following along. And to thank all his faithful readers for finally making him hit one thousand reviews with this story. He's been crying in happiness for the last couple of hours. Now I can see why he would have you two idiots as main characters too. He's just as much of an idiot."

"Hey now, lay off the author," Naruto replied. "This means a lot to him. Let him his five minutes of stardom."

"Five minutes that will last for days."

"What the fox said."

"But forget the author! We still have to talk about the real star of the story: me!"

Sasuke smirked. "Really now? How do you figure?"

"You can see it, can't you? I'm the one currently aiding the main character of this present arc. I'm also the one that's been here since the beginning. I've been in every chapter to boot!"

"Except the ones that deal with me," Sasuke retorted. "Or did you forget how the first forty chapters were laid out?"

"…..Screw it. Nothing makes sense anymore."

"I thought that would have been obvious from the beginning. Talking fox, remember?"

"Fuck you too. Twice!"

Naruto groaned. "There really wasn't any point to any of this, was there? We didn't answer a lot of questions, and we sure as hell didn't give out much information."

"It's the Christmas joy, brat. Besides, we should have done something for the Fourth of July instead. The explosives in that special would have topped anything else so far! Except for me, of course."

"That's it. You're banned from explosives, Kurama. I should have done that from the beginning, though. Why it's never crossed my mind until now, I don't know."

"You don't have the power, brat! I'm taking this to court!"

Naruto facepalmed. "You're a freaking fictional character. You can't take anything to court!"

"Says who!?"

"Says everyone!"

"Then everyone can go fuck themselves!"

As the two continued to bicker with one another, the focus went to Sasuke who was debating whether to commit suicide or not before realizing that it was pointless. No matter what he did, the two would always follow him. And that was much more painful than death itself.

With that in mind, he turned towards the camera with a twitching face. "So…..nothing was accomplished. Mission failed. You got that, author? This whole special was a fail! But anyway, take this with a grain of salt. The story will return next year. I'm sure the author just wanted to throw this out there to give his many thanks. He should have just written another chapter in my opinion, but whatever."

The Uchiha then bowed.

"Many thanks and happy holidays to you all. Until next year."

"Bijudama!"

"Futon: Rasenshuriken!"

"…..Roll the camera."


As Sasuke so kindly said, many thanks to you all and happy holidays. Especially for me. I never thought I was going to reach a thousand reviews this soon. So thank you. I'll be back next year with a bang.

Till then!