A/N: Hello everyone! Yes, it's been while. Yes, I feel badly. No, I did not give up on this story and I won't ever give up on this story. So there's that.
I spent this afternoon rereading my FanFic and realized that during my debacle of having to reorganize my chapters, I FORGOT TO UPLOAD ONE OF THEM. I was quite embarrassed, so I once again had to reorganize my chapters. Thank you everyone for the reviews on the previous chapter and I hope the cliffhanger didn't stress you out too much, but if it did...oh well.
There's quite a lot of fluff at the end of this chapter and I'm not entirely sure where it came from...it just sort of happened. I hope you enjoy!
"...she's...she's a Targaryen."
Dimeria thought her world had shattered into a million pieces-that her heart had stopped and her body had collapsed onto the floor. She thought she saw her entire life flash before her eyes and then burn into a worthless pile of cinders that blew away in the wind. She saw every single happy memory and every single wretched recollection wither away to nothingness as her life was now coming to an end. She saw the ones she cared for the most-Jaime, Tyrion, Robb, Jon- staring back into her darkening eyes; pity and heartbreak passing among them as her life reached its conclusion.
It all happened in a matter of seconds and when it truly sunk in that her identity had been revealed; Dimeria realized she hadn't spoken a word, hadn't moved an inch, and certainly had not died. Everyone in the throne room turned to look at her and she found that she could not say a word in her own defense; she was simply in too much shock.
Jaime had expected to hear Dimeria scream in outrage, but her mouth did not open one bit; and that's when he knew how terrified she really was. He struggled to keep his position but he knew he had to; whisking Dimeria away would only make things looks worse. Gripping the handle of his sword until his knuckles turned white; Jaime sent up prayers to whatever gods may have existed.
Before any of the judges could say a word of Shae's accusation towards Dimeria, Tyrion stood up from his bench on the dais, his anger radiating brighter than the sun. How could they do this? To him..to Dimeria...it was ridiculous! Rage was all Tyrion knew, was all he could see. How had things gotten so bad that it was no longer just his life in question, but Dimeria's. She didn't deserve it and neither did Tyrion, but the dwarf knew he had no hope; he hadn't had a chance of living a good life since the day he had come into the world.
And that's what angered him the most. Why were cards always stacked against him; why did everyone hate him?! It didn't matter, none of it mattered anymore; the people hated Tyrion, he despised them; it was all just an endless cycle of animosity, and he just couldn't handle it anymore.
He didn't remember standing up, but all of a sudden he was facing his father with determination. "She did not do it." Tyrion growled.
"What?" Tywin asked.
"Lady Dimeria did not do it." Tyrion reiterated.
Tywin sat straighter in the throne. "Is this a confession?"
Tyrion screwed up his face. "No." He spat out. "Dimeria did not do it. I did not do it. I did not kill Joffrey, but I wish that I had." Absolute rage took control of Tyrion. Dimeria could not quite decide if she was thankful-thankful that the attention was now being directed at Tyrion-or fearful-fearful for Tyrion's life.
"Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores." Tyrion directed at Cersei before turning to address the crowd in attendance. "I wish I was the monster you think I am. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it."
He seemed to be having some sort of mental breakdown, finally allowing every ounce of pain and anger to flow from her body. Common people sitting on the benches gasped and fidgeted anxiously, judges of the trial gripped the armrests on their chairs bitterly, while Jaime, Dimeria, and all of the other guards gripped the hilts of their swords until their knuckles turned white.
"Ser Meryn. Ser Meryn!" Tywin Lannister called out over the crowd whose cries and comments were getting louder and louder. "Escort the prisoner back to his cell."
"I will not give my life for Joffrey's murder." Tyrion growled out as he turned back to his father. "And I know I'll get no justice here, so I will let the gods decide my fate."
Dimeria furrowed her brows in confusion.
"I demand a trial by combat."
…
As Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, Jaime was allowed to sit in on all meetings of the Small Council. The meeting that followed the chaos of Tyrion's trial, however, was the first time Jaime had been ordered to wait outside of the small council chamber. A multitude of emotions boiled within his mind. He first considered it to be an insult; how dare they keep the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard in the dark! But once his pathetically wounded pride gave way to real concerns, it became of matter of fear. Jaime hated not knowing what fate of his little brother and of Dimeria would be. And the fact that Cersei-the one who seemed to hate Tyrion and Dimeria the most-was sitting in on the meeting scared him immensely.
Several times Jaime heard raised voices come from the room, but the door separating him from the small council members was too thick for him to make out any of the muffled voices; though he had a feeling that if anyone was raising their voice, it would be Tywin or Cersei...but most likely Cersei.
After Tyrion's outburst, the guards dragged him back to his prison cell and the commoners were pushed out of the throne room in a chaotic storm. Jaime desperately tried to reach Dimeria but by the time he made it through the immense throng of people, Dimeria was already gone. Jaime was later informed she had been thrown-literally-into her personal chambers and was being guarded by two members of the Kingsguard.
In the middle of the uproar, Jaime's father had bellowed above the crowd for all members of the Small Council to meet in his chambers. Jaime had of course followed and was rudely surprised when his father ordered him to stay outside and guard the door. And so that's where he had been for the past hour or so, though it felt like days to Jaime.
He cursed Shae. Everything had been going well-as well as the situation allowed-and then she had to be called as witness. Who had even tracked that whore down anyway? From the moment she stepped up onto the dais Jaime knew everything he had just negotiated with his father was ruined. Tyrion's life was even more forfeit than had been previously and then Shae dropped the bombshell of Dimeria's heritage.
Jaime's heart sank when he remembered Dimeria's face when her secret had been revealed. He had only seen Dimeria look so completely hopeless once before, and it was a time he did not enjoy thinking about. In that moment he became fiercely protective, paralyzingly fearful, and heartbreakingly sad. No matter what was being discussed in the Small Council, the chances of Jaime's relatively normal future with Dimeria were slim to none.
Tywin was correct when he assumed Jaime immediately thought of Dimeria when he thought of marriage; the two went hand in hand for Jaime now. It was strange to admit to himself at that moment, but he finally realized that he did want to marry Dimeria. It was an unsettling feeling and one that Jaime decided not to dwell upon, especially since marriage was officially out of the question.
Despondent and simply exhausted, Jaime leaned against the wall. He was the youngest Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, but he in no way, shape or form felt young at the moment; in fact, Jaime believed the way he felt resembled the way Maester Pycelle looked. Jaime gripped the pommel of his sword for some semblance of reassurance and was sent back to much simpler times in his mind. Moments where the only things he worried about was tired muscles from a long sparring session. What he would have given at that moment to go live days like with Dimeria; to train with Dimeria, to argue with her, to exchange sarcastic remarks with her, and then to walk along the shores of Casterly Rock. In an ideal world he would have had all of that and then a little brother to write to about all of his adventures.
But Jaime didn't live in an ideal world; he had been aware of that for the past decade or so because of his relationship with Cersei. How could he hope to have a happy life after committing such horrible atrocities for so long? This was his penance, he realized; suffering through Dimeria and Tyrion's dejected fates was Jaime's penance for past mistakes, and he only had himself to blame.
In a sudden burst of motion, the door to the chamber flew open and Jaime saw a very brief glimpse of his sister's blonde lockes fly down the hall. The rest of small council members followed behind, though at a much slower pace, with Pycelle shuffling along in his customary way. Oberyn Martell threw Jaime a smirk as he made his way out the door; Jaime recognized the same arrogance that he once had himself and briefly wondered when he had stopped flaunting his pompousness.
"Jaime." Tywin's voice called out to his eldest son.
Swallowing his fears and doubts, Jaime placed the mask of indifference that he had worn for so many years and strolled into the Small Council chamber. He met his father's harsh eyes with a raised brow. He knew his father was going to ask him what he knew about Dimeria and for some reason, Jaime felt slight trepidation at the thought of having to lie to his father.
"Sit." Tywin told him.
"I prefer standing." Jaime said nonchalantly.
Tywin pursed his lips with disapproval but did not push the matter any further. "You look shocked." He stated.
"As did you just an hour or so ago." Jaime retorted.
A sigh escaped Tywin's lungs. "I suppose you're wondering why I didn't allow you to sit in on this meeting."
"And I suppose you're going to tell me." Jaime said bitterly; he was in no mood to be toyed with.
Tywin clenched his fists. "You're too biased about Lady Dimeria."
Jaime didn't bother denying it, but he didn't hide the resentment he felt for being punished for it. "Your point being?"
"Did you know?" Tywin finally got to the heart of the matter.
"Know what?" Jaime stalled. His heart clenched as he realized he was going to have to lie his ass off to save Dimeria. To Jaime, there was a fine line between lying and just...not telling the truth. For decades he had been an expert at not telling the truth; he did it with Cersei. He never technically lied about his relationship with his twin; he just never told anyone about it. And the same with Dimeria: he didn't lie about who she was, he just never told her.
"Don't play stupid, Jaime." Tywin scolded.
Jaime sighed. "I didn't know." The fib came easily from Jaime's mouth; he supposed that since he was lying to save Dimeria's life, it made things fairly simple.
"I knew she was a bastard, everyone did, but I never knew who her actual parents were." Jaime elaborated for his father.
Tywin considered his words. "Are you aware if she had any knowledge of her own heritage?"
Jaime shrugged his shoulders. "She may have. She came here looking for information about her parents, but I don't know if she made any progress." Jaime forced himself to say everything as calmly as possible. "If she knew who her parents were, she never told me."
"Would she have told you?"
Relief edged it's way into Jaime's mind as he was finally able to tell the truth about something. "Yes. We tell each other everything."
Tywin stared at his son, making Jaime feel as if his father was looking straight into his soul, but he kept himself calm; he had mastered the art of deceptive body language over the years.
"What have you decided?" Jaime asked.
"I still have questions for you." Tywin ignored the question.
Green eyes narrowed angrily at his father. "Then ask them." He gritted out through his teeth.
"Do you believe that Lady Dimeria is a Targaryen?"
"No."
"And why is that?"
"All the Targaryens are either dead or exiled." Jaime said matter-of-factly. "Are you really going to take the word of a whore?"
Tywin narrowed his eyes as well. "Your sister seems to believe wholeheartedly that she is of Targaryen blood."
"Cersei believes anything that strengthens her hold on the bloody iron throne." Jaime said with frustration.
"She seems to be the only one concerned with this family's legacy." Tywin countered.
"Have you already forgotten the deal we made earlier today? I believe it was me who agreed to give you an heir to Casterly Rock."
"Yes, with a supposed Targaryen."
"Based on what proof?" Jaime's heart was racing within his chest. How much longer was this going to go on? All he wanted was some knowledge as to what the Small Council had decided.
Tywin had one last question to ask. "You would do anything to protect this girl, wouldn't you?"
Jaime didn't even have to think about the answer. "Yes."
A moment of silence passed with father and son. "You may go." Tywin finally said.
"What did you decide?" Jaime asked stubbornly.
His father stood from the large wooden table and began organizing things within his chamber. Jaime followed him until he got his answer.
"There will be a trial for Lady Dimeria a fortnight after Tyrion's trial by combat."
"And she is supposed to spend that time where? In the dungeons?" Jaime questioned, fury lacing his voice.
"No." Tywin surprised his son with his answer. "There is no set proof that she is a Targaryen, and your sister seems to be the only one that believes her to be a threat."
A tightness that Jaime had grown accustomed within his chest released and he let out a deep sigh, not even bothering to hide his relief from his father.
"She will be watched carefully by other Kingsguard members along with yourself." Tywin informed. "I see no reason to lock her up for something that is only speculated. Besides, running away would only solidify people's beliefs that she is a Targaryen."
Jaime internally cursed at the deception in disguise, but it was better than having Dimeria thrown into a jail cell like Tyrion. Satisfied with the decision, Jaime left his father and made his way to Dimeria's chambers, his feet moving as quickly as his flurrying heart.
…
During the long hours Dimeria had spent pacing within her room, she had racked up about five miles altogether. She had thought about climbing out of her window, but she was far too high; she considered overpowering the guards for she knew she could do it, but she also knew that by the time she made it outside of the keep, the entire Kingsguard would have rounded up to stop her.
What was going to happen to her? Were they going to throw her in the dungeons, or rid themselves of the trouble and just behead her? Her heart was pounding. What about her dragons? Thank the gods that whore hadn't mentioned anything about them. What if they found them, though? The thought of someone killing her dragons terrified her.
How had this happened?! She knew it seemed horrible, but Dimeria couldn't help but wonder why all the attention had to shift to her; it was supposed to be Tyrion's trial: not hers! The anxious warrior didn't even bother trying to calm herself down; she knew it was useless.
The twisting of her door handle pulled Dimeria from her thoughts. Here they come… She thought to herself. Tywin Lannister and five Kingsguard members were about to march right through her door and execute Dimeria in her own chambers. She clenched her fists fearfully and forced herself to face her fate as bravely as possible.
"Dimeria?" Jaime said as he walked through the door.
It was Jaime...oh, thank the Gods it was Jaime!
Tears sprang to Dimeria's eyes as her breath caught in her throat. Apparently several hours had passed since the trial, for Jaime had shed his Kingsguard armor and was now wearing much more simple attire. Jaime shut the door behind him and strode over to Dimeria to envelope her in the biggest hug she had ever received. She clutched at his shoulders like a small child, part of her mind berating her for behaving so pathetically; the other part just giving up and telling her to do so as well. Burying her face in Jaime neck, Dimeria struggled to keep her breathing under control.
"I have to leave, Jaime." She whsipered.
Jaime tightened his hold on her. "You can't."
"I have to." Dimeria said, pulling back from their embrace.
"Dimeria, if you leave you'll only be proving Shae right." Jaime explained.
"That whore has a name?" Dimeria said, rolling her blue eyes.
"That whore has your life hanging by a thread right now."
Dimeria turned her back on Jaime and went to the window. He made to follow her, but knew she needed a moment to digest his words. Jaime watched her retreating figure, taking notice of every detail for fear that he would one day never see them again; the way the end of her braid brush just below her back, the way she walked on the balls of her toes, the way her muscles flexed as she clenched her hands anxiously: Jaime didn't want to forget one little thing.
"How did she know?" Dimeria asked quietly.
Jaime shrugged, though Dimeria couldn't even see him. "I don't know. She was Tyrion's whore, but I don't think he would have told her any of that." He said. They were both speaking in hushed tones out of fear that there were still guards outside her door.
"What happened at the Small Council meeting?" Dimeria questioned, trying to focus her mind back on concrete evidence. Jaime was right: she couldn't leave, but if she had to stick around, she sure as hell was going to do whatever she could to ensure she would be safe.
"They've decided to hold a trial for you a fortnight after Tyrion's trial by combat." Jaime said.
Dimeria cringed at the reminder of Tyrion's trial. It was heartbreaking that the dwarf's situation had become so dire that he had to resort to chance to decide his fate. Dimeria wished she could have believed that Tyrion had a 50/50 chance at winning his combat, but that would have implied that he could fight, and Tyrion definitely could not fight. She sighed at the realization that Tyrion's future somehow managed to grow even more hopeless.
"Gods, what am I going to do?" Dimeria said, completely exasperated.
Jaime stepped forward then and spun her around to face him. Seeing that Dimeria was about to bite her lip raw, he gently ran his thumb along the edge of her mouth the draw her lip out of her teeth. "They don't have any proof. No matter how hard they try, they won't be able to find any concrete evidence." Jaime said sternly in order to convince himself and Dimeria.
"Everything's going to be fine, little warrior."
Not knowing what else to do, Dimeria allowed herself to believe every word that Jaime said. Gods, she was angry; she was angry, scared, and was starting to feel completely helpless. All she wanted was some comfort. She wanted to feel like everything was going to be okay in the end. Dimeria realized that no matter how much she hoped for it, this wasn't going to have a happy ending. If only she could ignore what was happening, just completely detach herself from Tyrion's life; then it would stop hurting. She would finally be able to stop worrying.
She wanted to forget everything, to find some sort of distraction, but she just didn't know how. Drawing her eyes up to Jaime's to find some source of reassurance, Dimeria felt the sudden urge to kiss him…
So she did.
Every other time Jaime had kissed her, all thoughts flew from her mind; she could hardly even think from the moment their lips met, and so it was when she started the contact this time. The kiss surprised both Jaime and herself, but she pushed the wonder away from her mind; Dimeria didn't want to think at the the moment: she wanted to just feel.
Wrapping her arms around Jaime's neck, Dimeria attacked his lips passionately; and it didn't take long for Jaime to match her ferocity. He didn't know why Dimeria was doing it, but it didn't matter; Jaime longed for the same distraction that Dimeria seemed to be searching for. Desire was all that dictated their actions; they pressed their bodies together until their clothes were the only thing between them and it still didn't seem to be enough. Their bodies were at the beck and call of each other; when Jaime nipped at Dimeria's bottom lip, she allowed him entrance into her mouth; when Dimeria ran her hands up and down Jaime's muscular chest, he quickly shed his leather jerkin from his body.
Yes. This was what Dimeria needed. There was no longer any room in her mind to think about anything except for how good Jaime made her feel. She was breathless from the attack of Jaime's experienced lips and moaned thankfully when he moved to her neck and throat. Her nerve endings were on fire and a tight ball of yearning had knotted up within her stomach. She could no longer keep up with what was happening; her warrior instinct wad been completely overridden with longing that Jaime always ignited within her. Part of Dimeria knew that this was dangerous, but the voice in her head that told her to be careful was diminishing with every kiss Jaime placed on her skin and with every groan that left her mouth. If this was what it took to forget all the shit that was going on in her life, then so be it.
Jaime didn't think he could ever get enough of Dimeria; her lips, her soft skin, her wandering hands, the moans that left her delectable mouth. His initial surprise as to why Dimeria suddenly began seeking affection flew from Jaime's mind immediately; it was all about the pleasure now, and Dimeria appeared to be more than willing to both give and receive the same satisfaction.
All voices of reason were gone from both the warriors' minds and before they knew it, Jaime had lifted Dimeria onto her bed and was pinning her to mattress. A haze thicker than any fog had settled over Dimeria's head, blocking out every possible thought that even tried to break through. Shock erupted into her body as Jaime's hand snaked it's way up her shirt; bare skin on bare skin. Her eyes shot open as memories poured through her lust-filled haze and broke open a dam of memories. Images of horrible violations flooded her mind and her muscles immediately tensed up and Jaime immediately stopped his pleasurable ministrations.
"What is it?" He asked Dimeria, his voice deep and husky.
"Nothing." Dimeria almost whined. Gods, she hated herself. Just when she thought all the worries she had carried upon her shoulders were gone, they came right back and ruined everything. Why couldn't she just forget it?
Jaime sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He straightened Dimeria's tunic back out and tried to help her sit up, though she tried to protest.
"Jaime, don't." She tried stopping him; all she wanted was to forget, why couldn't she just do it?!
"Dimeria." Jaime scolded. "I want this as much as you seemed to right there, but…" He sighed once more and sat back on his haunches to put space between the two of them. "you're not ready for this."
Seven hells, Dimeria didn't know how much she could take. Not only did horrid memories resurface, but now she was horribly embarrassed. She sat up and leaned back against the post on her bed.
"What just happened?" Jaime suddenly asked with an exasperated laugh.
Tears appeared in the corner of Dimeria's eyes. "I don't know, I just…" She covered her face with her hands. "Everything that's happened since we got here, everything that's happening now...I just wanted to forget all of it."
"And you figured sex would do that?" Jaime asked quietly. There was no judgment in his voice, just pure curiosity.
Dimeria shrugged. "I guess so."
Jaime reached out and grabbed one of Dimeria's hands from her face and sat down next to her on the bed. "I don't want that with you, Dimeria."
"What?" She asked incredulously.
"I want something more than that, Dimeria." Jaime explained. "I don't want something heat of the moment that doesn't mean anything. I've had enough of that." His green eyes bore into Dimeria's. "I want something special."
Dimeria was utterly taken aback. These were words that every woman wanted to hear and the man that meant the most to her was saying them to her, yet she still didn't feel better. His words didn't take away the pain and the worry; they just produced more guilt and embarrassment that she didn't think was possible to feel until that very moment.
Jaime could see the suffering in her eyes; he could see it in the way she bit her lip to try to keep her emotions under control and Jaime suddenly knew the reason she was seeking some sort of release: Dimeria had been bottling up every single emotion for months now and things just kept getting worse and worse. He put his arm around her tense shoulders and leaned his head against hers. She wanted to resist it, Dimeria felt pathetic for letting her emotions get the best of her like this and she just wanted to be left alone, but Jaime would not relent. He gathered her into his arms and said:
"I know this goes against your instinct, little warrior, but sometimes it helps to just cry."
At right at that moment, the dams broke loose once again and Dimeria sobbed her heart out.
I told you there was fluff.
Remember to leave reviews, my lovely readers!
Until next time...
