She Comes And Goes As She Pleases (Part 50)
by BrDPirateMan
Since I would be working tonight, I thought it'd be nice to arrive at WildKat an hour early and hang out with Eri before my shift started. A quick date ought to give me the power boost I needed for the rest of the evening.
And boy what a boost it was.
"Hot damn," I whistled.
Eri had her arms crossed over her chest, nursing a big smile. "Heh heh… I know, right?"
"This photograph is really well-taken. I love the way you wrap your arms and legs around the pole."
"I pretended the pole was you. That helped me get into the act."
"Oh, um… good for you, then?"
"Good for you especially," she chuckled.
Eri had recently finished a cheesecake photoshoot with yet another men's magazine, and now that the latest issue was released, she bought a copy to see how it all turned out, and this she brought along to our date so she could show it off to me. This time around there weren't as many photos, but what was there was generous to a fault. The theme was pole dancing, and she didn't get to wear a whole lot… not that anyone minded, least of all her. She had a lot of fun, I could tell.
For something that's being published in a mainstream magazine, however, it's a lot more risqué than I could imagine. That bikini of hers didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination; heck, it might as well not be there at all. And a few shots even made it look like she was naked, thanks to some strategic hand placement and an excellent manipulation of light and shadow. Whoever the photographer was who handled things, I'd love to shake his hand.
"You're getting busier these days," I observed. "This is your third appearance in a magazine so far, right?"
"Yeah, XYZ Digest held an online poll about the first photoshoot I did with them. Turns out, a lot of readers liked it. The second one was kinda popular too… so my manager's been able to snag me a few more job offers."
This turn of events had me grinning with approval. "Not bad. Now let's see how the dark horse fares."
"We'll see! I'm still largely unknown though, from what I can tell… While I don't mind, it's still kinda funny. You'd think someone out there would pick me out from the colour of my hair alone and work it out from there."
"To be fair, there's lots of girls out there with pink hair." I jerked my head towards the customer who had just arrived. "See? Exhibit A."
From the corner table where we were sitting, we could just about see Uzuki sauntering in and sitting at her usual spot at the bar. She didn't see us.
"Her hair's not pink," argued Eri. "It's more like magenta."
"Okay, fair enough. The point is, pink hair or not, you're still a newbie. It'll take something bigger for people to start taking notice."
"Like streaking in the middle of the street?"
"Sure," I deadpanned, "but you'll be famous for a different reason."
"Hee hee… Oh!"
She glanced at her watch, eyes widened slightly at the time.
"What's up, Eri?"
Hands plastered together in apology, she said, "Sorry, Neku! It's time for me to get to work."
"Ah… is it already time?"
"Yeah, I'm afraid so." She rose from her seat, taking her magazine with her. "Good luck with work!"
"Likewise. Catch you later."
A hurried exchange of goodbyes later, she scampered away, giving Uzuki a surprise hug from behind on the way out, causing the latter to nearly spill her drink on herself.
Eri usually worked twice a week, on Thursdays and Fridays. But if there was a job that needed to be done urgently she would need to do overtime. Tonight was one such time. Manga Mania Monthly needed a pinup for their upcoming December bumper issue, and specifically asked for her to be their poster girl. So her newest job was exactly that.
She's working hard… I must do the same.
XOXOXOXOXO
The evening was pretty easygoing. Tonight there weren't too many customers; not having to rush around the cafe was a nice change of pace.
When I returned home, it was already half past ten. Not only had Eri come back before I did, she apparently just finished taking a shower too. The towel she had wrapped around her body was small and flimsy, showing off acres of cleavage and miles of her wondrous legs. It's a sight for sore eyes, to be sure.
"You're back!" she trilled, giving me the usual 'welcome home' hug and kiss.
"Nice outfit," I teased, stroking her bare shoulder. "By the way, is it just me, or is it really cold outside?"
"You noticed too? I think it's getting colder these days, which is a real bummer… I won't be able to go outside in skirts anymore."
My frame gave a brief shudder. "Brutal stuff, this weather. Ugh. Anyway, I'll be in the shower if you need me. Gonna take a hot one."
"The water's still warm, go ahead."
"Thanks." Trudging off to the bathroom, I prattled on, "Even for autumn, this is super cold…"
"Hey… guess what. Maybe that's because it's not even autumn anymore."
Her hands grabbed onto my arm, pulling me back to the living room where she killed the lights, leaving only the distant glow of the hallway to illuminate the place. Then she threw the curtains wide open. The night lights of the neighborhood lay before me – neon signs of all shapes and flavours, apartment windows lit up from within. But there was something else.
Snow.
Yes, it was snowing. Very lightly. The snowflakes fell serenely, like a million little angels descending to earth. The sight left me spellbound.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" gushed Eri, clinging onto my arm.
"Winter has begun," I breathed. "So that's why I was freezing half to death earlier."
I immediately felt a pinch to my arm. The pain was nothing to laugh at. Her fingers were like pliers.
"Ow! Wh-What's that for, Eri?!"
"Once again," she sighed, "your penchant for ruining perfectly good romantic moments rears its ugly head. We're supposed to admire the first snowfall of the year together, and here you are, wondering why your butt was getting frostbite?!"
Oh yeah. I should've noticed the signs. Whoops. Was there a way I could salvage this wasted opportunity?
"That… uh, came out wrong. Let me give that another shot. Ahem… so, uh… what lovely, uh, snow we're having!"
"Smooth."
"…That didn't work, did it."
Even during her sarcasm, however, she found humour in my stilted words. I guess there's a certain charm to be had in things that are so bad they're good.
I attempted to rectify the mess I'd created the only way I knew how. I gave her a gentle hug from behind, nuzzling my cheek against hers. Just as I guessed, it was an approach that she took to rather well.
With seductive undertones I asked, "How about this? This work for you?"
"Very much, yes," she said, smiling. "The only nitpick I have is that you stink of grease and fried beef."
I laughed. "I spent the evening cooking cheeseburgers. It's WildKat's newest dish. You ought to try one."
"If I feel like it, sure. But right now? You need a bath." She gently disentangled herself from my embrace and pushed me towards the bathroom, giggling the whole time.
After I had freshened myself up, I returned to my room to find her on my bed and flipping through a magazine. In the years I'd known her, she's been shown to have a knack for making herself at home no matter where she was if she was given permission to. As my lover and housemate, she pretty much had free rein over our entire home. Facing the foot of the bed, she lay on her stomach, with a leg bent at the knee so that it was up in the air like a periscope. And she still hasn't bothered to put on clothes. This was a person who had long perfected her habit of invading people's rooms into an art.
With the bed occupied, I settled for the chair. As I powered up my laptop, I killed time by chatting with Eri.
"How was work today?"
"Hmm, it didn't take too long." She lazily turned to the next page, eyes glued to the magazine. "It's just a pinup, so all they did was take a few pics. Couldn't have been there for more than an hour."
"That's not a very long time at all."
"Well, they know what they want, so they didn't waste time getting me to try out different outfits."
My laptop booted up successfully and I took a moment to punch in my password. As I navigated my way through my e-mail, Eri spoke up again.
"Oh yeah, Neku, I almost forgot. My manager told me that an anime convention will be held in Akihabara a couple of weeks from now… Something called the Akiba… Expo… or something."
That caught my attention. "An anime convention? Hey, isn't that the 15th Annual Akihabara Otaku Culture Expo?"
"Ah, yeah. That's the one. My manager said she'd very much like me to take part. So I gave her my yes."
"Wow, that's pretty cool. What're you going to do there?"
Eri flipped her magazine shut and slowly rolled over onto her back. It was comical seeing her head half-dangling off the edge of the bed.
"I don't know," she replied, "but my manager said she'd give me the details real soon. I might be a booth babe, or they may put me in cosplay so I can become walking promotional material. I was told some upcoming anime will be teased during the expo and someone's gotta dress up as the female MC."
I grinned. "Really? I reckon the anime you're talking about is Gynoid Dreams. You look kinda like the protagonist."
"What's it about? If I'm going to cosplay as one of the characters I figure I ought to know a little bit about it, you know, so I can get into character."
"Uh, gimme a sec…"
My fingers became a blur as I typed out some choice words into my search engine. I pulled up the most relevant entry – some dude's entry in a wiki of sorts – and started reading from it.
"Let's see," I muttered. "'In the year 2188…'"
"Hold up," said Eri, jabbing her hand into the air. "Sorry, I hate to sound like a jerk, but… gimme the Cliff Notes version."
I couldn't say I was too surprised. She's not an anime fan. I skimmed the synopsis quickly and summarized it for her so she wouldn't fall asleep in five seconds.
"Uh… it's the 22nd century, and androids are commonplace in society. The anime follows the story of one such android who is struggling to discover who she is and what it means to be human. Along the way – "
"Hold up!" Again she interrupted me. "I asked you to give me the short version!"
"B-But that was the short version…"
"Then make it shorter!"
I rubbed the back of my neck. "A short short version? That's a tall order…"
"Is that a pun, by the way?"
"What pun?"
"…Never mind."
"Um, anyway… how should I put this… In the distant future, a self-aware android goes on a personal quest to find herself, meeting friends along the – "
"Cut! That's what you call a short version? Seriously?"
I stared at her blankly.
"I swear, Eri… You're trying to screw with me here."
"Go on, hop to it! I want a synopsis already!"
"Okay, fine…" I took a deep breath, and then… "Future. Robots. Friendship. Possible happy resolution via deus ex machina. The end."
Five seconds of silence ensued. Then her honest opinion was:
"That's a pretty boring storyline."
"Hey, you're the one who wanted the Cliff Notes version. What'd you expect?"
"Oh well, as long as the characters look cool, I'm okay cosplaying as them!"
Getting back on track, I pointed out, "But we don't know much about the main cast yet, so I don't know how you'll be able to get into character in the first place. I mean, it'd be downright sacrilege to act all cutesy when you're pretending to be a hardened killer robot… unless the whole point is that you're cute and psycho."
"'Hi! I love unicorns, cotton candy and lopping people's heads off!' Something like that?"
"Close enough."
Eri sat up, stretching the stiffness in her arms away. "Hmmm… there isn't a lot I can do at the moment. I don't even know if that's even the anime my manager mentioned. Of course, for all you know, I may just end up as a booth babe."
"Whatever works, right? 'Least you get paid."
I looked away to sign in to an online game and Eri, seeing that I wanted some time to myself to play, took this as her cue to leave. But before she made her exit…
"Got a little surprise for you," she said. "Behold… the wonders of hygiene!"
I turned back to see her standing behind me, holding her towel wide open. Everything about her was out in the open and she looked great.
"I had a nice bath earlier," she chuckled. "See how clean I am?"
"Yeah, you really are," I said, letting my eyes wander all over her bare flesh. "About the only place that isn't… is here." And I tapped her gently on the forehead with a finger.
My improvisational humour didn't seem to fly with her, though. She just stared at me, stupidly keeping her towel open like some naked scarecrow. Then I was left to wonder where I had gone wrong.
"That's it?" she squawked.
"Wh-What do you mean?" I asked carefully. "Is there something else I should have said? Should have done? Should have – "
"Am I… looking at the end of a great era?"
Her choice of words left me hopelessly confused. "Uh… I don't follow?"
She bundled up her towel in one hand, placed the other hand on her hip and gave an almighty sigh. It's so weird seeing her exasperated while standing there not wearing a single shred of clothing.
"What I'm saying is, am I never gonna see another nosebleed from you?"
What?
Now it was my turn to sigh. And it was a whopper of a sigh greater than any sigh made in the history of mankind. Or at least that's what it seemed like to me.
"What's with that sigh, Neku?" Oh, now she's actually indignant. "I'm serious. Your amazing nosebleeds have been missing since forever!"
I knew I had to be firm in this. "Eri, look. I've reached a point where if I get another nosebleed, it'd be ridiculous."
"No it isn't. How is that ridiculous?"
"We've been dating for close to a year now, we've hugged and kissed… I've touched your boobs… We've shared so many baths that it's not weird seeing each other naked anymore. We even have fun in bed at least twice a week. Don't get me wrong, seeing you without your clothes still turns me on, but after all the stuff we've done together, hasn't it occurred to you I'd get used to it?"
When I reached the end of my little speech, Eri's facial expression changed from annoyance to mild horror as she had an epiphany.
"What have I done?" she gasped, clawing her cheeks. "If I hadn't teased you so strongly ever since we first met, you might still be getting nosebleeds to this day!" And she crumpled – no, melted – into a heap on the floor, leaning against the bed for support.
"Why do you have a thing for them anyway?" I grunted. "That's a weird fetish to have, you know."
"It's not a fetish. I just think projectile nosebleeds are funny. The way they hilariously arc in the air and all that, you know? That's all."
"That's the reason?" I slapped myself in the forehead. "Every time I get one I lose a lot of blood and I feel like crud. It's anything but funny. No more nosebleeds, you hear me? And that's final."
"Eh… boooooring…"
Eri's thought processes were… outlandish, to say the least. Here's hoping my nosebleeds never happen again. Like, ever. I'm way past that.
XOXOXOXOXO
Like clockwork, Eri and I went to the local indoor pool for our weekly swim the next day. Once the usual two hours of swim practice were finished we hit up the adjacent food stall for yakisoba and takoyaki, also like clockwork.
What wasn't like clockwork, however, was the call that I got from my aunt.
"I'm making hotpot," she said. "If you have time, why don't you stop by for lunch?"
Auntie's hotpot was one of the best I've eaten so far. You know what they say: home-cooked meals are by and large better than takeaway. I knew what my answer to her offer was.
"Sounds good," I replied. "I'll come." Then, noticing Eri peeking at me curiously, I was about to put forward a question when my aunt answered it for me.
"And bring along that cute girlfriend of yours, will you? It's been so long since we met Eri."
She sounded like an overly excited parent eager to probe into her son's love life, which was exactly what she was, except strictly speaking we weren't biologically related, of course. Same concept though. Either way, she and Uncle were almost guaranteed to make fools out of themselves conducting their 'research', as per the old shtick – you know the one. The kids and their boy/girlfriends are subject to lots of questions asked by embarrassingly overzealous parents. That one. Boy, this was going to be hell.
Even then, I wanted Eri to meet them again. They seemed to get along fine during their first meeting, so it'd be good for them to maintain friendly relations with each other.
"Okay, Auntie, let me ask her."
"Oh, no need to. Just bring her along, we'll be fine with it!"
"You'll be fine with it," I sighed wryly. "I still need to ask her if she is."
Eri had been listening intently to my side of the conversation. She tilted her head to one side, as if to ask, "What's going on?"
"Um, Eri? So, uh… my aunt's cooking hotpot for lunch… Wanna come with?"
My girlfriend broke into a wide smile. "Can I? With your family? Yes, please!"
Back to my aunt. "Well, Auntie, guess it's a yes."
"See? I told you it'll be alright!"
No, Auntie. That's all wrong.
After I finalized lunchtime details with my aunt and hung up, I found Eri frothing with excitement.
"I can't wait to see your aunt and uncle again," she squealed. "They're so nice!"
"Just watch out for their mannerisms. You've met them before; you know how weird they can get."
"That's okay! I'm pretty weird myself, you know me! Me and your folks get along just fine, like kindred spirits!"
"R-Right…"
Later, during the bus ride en route to my foster parents' home, I dispensed a tip or two to Eri that I felt would come in handy.
"You already know that Auntie and Uncle are pretty easygoing," I said. "But it's been a while since you last saw them, so I say you need a refresher course on what makes them tick, what quirks they have…"
"Hit me with the facts!" Eri challenged bravely.
"Okay, um… They're awfully open-minded, so if they ask you personal questions, try not to feel offended. They don't mean any harm and they're not trying to make fun of you. It's just the way they are."
"So then… they're just really blunt and curious?"
"Yeah. Don't be surprised if they need to hear it from the horse's mouth that we take baths together."
"Don't worry!" she said, winking confidently. "My friends ask me daring questions all the time which I'm more than glad to answer. I'm practically immune to shame!" And she patted a fist over her heart, emphasizing her 'bring-it-on' mentality.
I groaned. "While that sure is a useful trait to have against my foster parents, I must ask: do your friends know that we – "
"Yup! Everyone knows we have sex."
"Kuh…! I knew it…" I know sex is pretty much normal in this day and age, but it's still mortifying for me to talk about it in the open. Maybe I'm too shy for my own good or something. Then I got hit by a worse thought. "Wait. You didn't elaborate much further than that… right?"
Eri pretended to act bashful, twirling a lock of bubblegum pink hair around her finger. "Well… eheh… they kept pressing for details, so I might have told them a little… like how you massage my breasts before we – "
"Oi!" I hissed, silencing her. "We're on a bus! With people in it!"
I could only hope to the stars no one heard that, or that everyone else was deaf. Wasn't likely either way, though.
Is it also normal to casually describe how you and your lover conduct your nightly trysts? Is this something people readily do in this day and age? Was I the dinosaur here?
"Uh, enough of that for now," I coughed. "Anyway, my folks are sure to ask all kinds of questions. Be ready for anything. And everything."
"You got it, captain!" She's a handful, but damned if that playful salute wasn't the cutest thing.
I gave her a couple more cursory tips, after which I delivered the most important piece of advice:
"Don't mention anything about singing."
"Huh? Singing?"
"Yes. Just don't. They're both horrible singers. When they attempt to sing, goodness… nothing in the world can save you."
"They like singing much?"
"Sure. They don't sing very often, but when they feel like it, they bring out the mics and karaoke CD's… and then I have to bring out the earplugs."
Eri laughed. "Oh, c'mon, it can't be that bad."
"Just don't tempt them!" I almost pleaded with her. "You'll wish you were never born."
"S-So it is that bad? Wow, alright…"
Our stop came into view. The bus rolled to a halt and several passengers alighted, including us. When we were back outdoors, I inhaled the cold winter air to revitalize my lungs, which the stuffy interior of the bus crushed to a paste. The residential area we arrived at was familiar to me in every way – the sights, sounds, even the smells.
"Here we are," I announced. "My old neighborhood."
Because of my busy college schedule, I hardly got to visit my foster parents who lived here. Now's the time to play catch-up. I led Eri through the streets, the two of us making small talk and comparing snowflakes that we caught in our hands.
My old home was a unit tucked away in a corner of an apartment building. As we climbed the stairs to the third floor where my foster parents lived, I reminded Eri about the tips that I covered on the way here.
"Remember, no singing."
"Well, if you're so adamant about it…"
"Of course I have to be adamant! Our lives – and our ears – depend on it."
"I still think you're exaggerating…"
"You wouldn't think so after you hear my uncle sing Staying Alive. And I haven't even mentioned the dance moves yet… oh god…"
A few more steps and we were standing before the front door of my old home. My hands were getting clammy imagining all the weird questions my foster parents were sure to ask. But at the same time, I recognized that this was a prime opportunity to cement good relations between all of us.
Finger poised to press on the doorbell, I said, "You're the guest of honour, Eri. Be sure to behave yourself."
"I'll be a good girl!" she chirped.
Hearing that from this loose cannon made me want to take it with a pinch of salt…
XOXOXOXOXO
"Ahaha!" The voice of my aunt boomed heartily across the dinner table. "Splendid, splendid!"
Uncle fit the widest grin he could manage on his face. He wasn't as loud as Auntie was but he was jovial all the same. "So you two will be celebrating your one-year anniversary very soon! You have far surpassed my expectations, Neku."
Slightly exasperated at all the squeeing from my foster parents, I said, "Hey, c'mon, I can't eat if you keep congratulating me every five seconds."
"Deal with it. We're too proud of you to care."
I rolled my eyes amidst the continued cheering. Apparently Eri found this exchange between the Sakurabas to be very funny.
"Eri dear," said Auntie, "I hope you don't mind us being all happy in our wacky ways. We're just glad Neku has finally grown up."
"Don't you worry," said Eri smilingly. "That's cool with me!"
I wasn't sure whether she was being polite or she genuinely liked their crazy antics. But when you stop to consider that she and my foster parents may be cut from the same cloth, the latter seemed more likely.
"So what have you two been up to?" asked Auntie. "If you have any stories worth telling, we'd very much like to know!"
Sharing stories of our love life wasn't so much the problem here. The real issue was them raising a big fuss about it. Their celebratory outbursts whenever I reached what they felt was a milestone in my life (which was pretty much everything) were often overblown and unnecessary. They'd bring out the party poppers and the sekihan (rice with red beans, eaten during celebrations), and then karaoke would be next. They won't stop till I divulge some information, so I had to be careful with what I should say.
"Um, we got ourselves new jobs," I said. "I'm working at WildKat now, and Eri's a model."
"We know about that already," said Uncle. "You yourself told us."
Auntie wasn't being subtle at all. "We're looking for more… substantial nuggets of information. Of the romantic sort, of course."
Yeah, I know. All too well.
Ever one to charge headlong into everything, Eri shot her hand into the air like she was calling for the teacher in the classroom, and declared without a second thought, "During summer break, Neku and I went to the beach. We had a great time!"
Both of my foster parents reacted with joy. Uncle wore the famous "I'm so proud of you" look on his face. My breath was held fast. I was more than certain the next question barreling down our alley would be…
"So what did you do?"
I dived in before Eri could answer. "O-Oh, you know, the usual thing people do at the beach. Swimming, eating ice cream, collecting seashells, uh… sucking at beach volleyball…"
"You were the one who sucked," laughed Eri. "I was glorious."
"Hey, c'mon, I'm not completely hopeless. I scored two points against you."
"Against my seven?"
"T-Two is better than nothing…"
My folks were happy to see that she and I were getting along just fine. But it wasn't enough to satisfy their lust for knowledge. Auntie in particular pulled no punches.
"That's nice and all," she said, "but you're not telling us everything. Going to the beach is nice and all but that can't be all you two have done, can it?"
Dread started to fill up inside of my gut. I'd lived with them long enough to know what it was that was next on their checklist of things to ask. And I was painfully right.
"You heard her," said Uncle nonchalantly, in between mouthfuls of beef. "You two done it already?"
How thick-skinned could they get, asking people over dinner whether they've slept together?! If Eri wasn't here, I could be a bit more honest, but with her present in the room as a guest it was a sticky question to ask. My girlfriend wasn't fazed at all, though. She didn't react in horror or anything. Of course she wouldn't.
Okay, fine, let's face it: it was only a matter of time before this infernal question was brought to the table, and here it was now. If I was going to be embarrassed, I might as well tell everything and be done with it rather than drag it out. And if Eri was totally comfortable with it, then all the more we lay our secrets bare once and for all.
I held both of my hands up; it wasn't hard to see the parallels to surrendering here. "Alright, alright, there's no getting away from you two. You want info, I'll give you info. But I'm just gonna say this once, because this isn't easy for me."
Auntie and Uncle looked slightly confused but clung onto my words anyway. Why they were confused at all I had no idea but I'd come to a point where I didn't care anymore. Eri stared at me expectantly. Uh-huh, no pressure.
Oh, and you know how, whenever you need to tell something important, it's compulsory to take a deep breath beforehand? Don't worry, I remembered to do that.
"So, um, Eri and I, you see… if you must know, we… uh…"
My voice was regressing into a mumble that was growing ever softer. But I told myself to man up and just spill the beans.
"We… um, we have done it. You know… sex and stuff…"
Silence fell over the entire table. At first I thought this was the three or so seconds where the news hits my folks and they're still digesting it. But when it took longer than expected…
"Hey, wh-what's wrong?" I asked cautiously. "Did I say something – "
Uncle cleared his throat. "Um, I was actually asking whether you two have been to the new family restaurant that just opened up round here… They serve this weird dish called 'Lovers' Sundae' so I thought you two might have tried it already… what with you being a couple and all…"
Seeing that my guess was way off the mark, I wanted to kick myself for jumping to conclusions. But then again…
"What the heck, Uncle… The way you phrased it was too ambiguous! How was I supposed to know you were talking about freakin' ice cream?! And you just up and changed the topic too!"
But Auntie was quick to cut me off and get the celebratory ball rolling again. "Well now! This is a nice surprise, isn't it? I know we've been semi-teasing you about climbing the stairs to adulthood but I never thought you'd actually go through with it. Congratulations!"
"Indeed," said Uncle, smiling. "You did good, nephew of mine. I'm proud of you. You too, Eri. I'm glad his first one got to be with you."
Ugh! What have I gotten myself into?
And what was Eri's stand in the whole thing?
"Ahaha…! It was my very first one too! I was super-nervous! But I'm so glad everything went smoothly and now we even do it twice a week!"
Don't go digging my grave deeper, you pink-haired lunatic!
"Twice a week!" Auntie and Uncle turned to each other, wide-eyed in joyous disbelief. "Amazing! Our nephew really outdid himself this time!"
If someone could kill me right now that'd be great.
"This is great, you two!" said Auntie. "You have no idea how much this means for us! This calls for a family jam."
Urk! Anything but that!
I could just about see the question mark floating above Eri's head. "Family… jam?"
"Karaoke, of course!" Auntie was positively raring to go. "Do you like singing, Eri?"
Eri shot me the briefest glance, as if to ask me what she should say in response to my aunt's invitation. I had told her not to mention singing, but that's clearly out of the question now. I had already resigned myself to my fate, anyway. It's still nice to know she followed my advice instead of outright ignoring it.
"Actually," she said, "I… uh, I'm… allergic to singing!"
What kind of excuse was that?! And what's with that pose?! She just had to do a V-sign over her right eye, like one of those poses they do in magical girl shows. For what reason, I couldn't imagine.
"Allergic?" Uncle broke into a chuckle. "You're a funny one. You're just scared to sing, aren't you? No problem. Just sing however you want, we're not going to shoot you down or anything. The most important thing is to have fun!"
"But," said my aunt, "just in case you really aren't used to it and you need to get ready, I'll go first."
Great. Now we're going to start with the worst singer in the family.
After lunch was done and we cleared away the dishes, everyone converged in the living room. Their favorite "Greatest Hits from the 1970s" karaoke album was plopped into the CD player, and Auntie took to the stage first. Really started things off with a bang. She sang so happily with all of her might but it was so awful it could cause a traffic jam. Eri, being the sporty type, smiled the whole time and swayed gently to the music.
Eventually the song was finished and Eri went next. But my aunt had plans for her.
"Hang on!" she said. "Eri, can I get you to try singing something a little… different?"
"I'm up to the challenge! What've you got in mind?"
Auntie swapped CDs in a jiffy and the TV screen shouted at us with a gaudy introductory screen that read, "The Best of Enka". Enka's basically a type of classical Japanese ballad. Real soothing if you sing it right. But if you don't you sound like a cow giving birth. I couldn't for the life of me see the modern go-getter Eri singing something so old-fashioned, especially not with that horrible parrot-like squawking voice of hers!
"I grew up with this song," said Auntie, choosing a particular song for her. "The part near the end where you have to waver your voice continuously is my favourite! I can never nail that part, but maybe you can!"
"You never know till you try. Okay! Ready, set, go!"
Then the whole living room rattled as the wondrous sound of cows and parrots burst forth from Eri's lips. Despite how terrible she sounded, she looked like she was enjoying herself. I had fun too, trying to see how long I could stomach this cacophony before my eardrums vaporized.
Amidst fervent applause from my aunt, Eri did her best Elvis impersonation at the end of her song. "Thank you, thank you, thank you veruh much."
"You did really well!" praised Auntie. "You poured all of your soul into it, I could see!"
"That was rad for an old song! I had lots of fun. Alright, Uncle, it's your turn!" And she thrust the microphone in his direction…
…only to find that he was fast asleep in his armchair. We were concentrating so much on karaoke-ing that we totally didn't notice that he had dozed off.
"Uncle?"
I grabbed the remote and muted the TV. "Now that's new. He doesn't sleep in the middle of the day often."
"Ah, he's just tired." Auntie rose from the couch and popped the CD out, putting a premature end to our family jam. "Let him sleep. He needs it."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing at all. But your uncle's been working overtime six days a week for the past four months, so he's exhausted much of the time. Comes home tired and goes to sleep early pretty much every day."
"Whoa," breathed Eri, "he sure has it rough."
"Sorry you couldn't get to sing, Neku," said Auntie, draping a blanket over Uncle's body. "Next time I'll be sure to give you first dibs with the mic!"
"Uh… nah, I'll pass. Anyway, we should get going. Uncle's sleeping; best we leave him be."
We – Uncle excepted, of course – lingered around the front door for a few more moments' worth of talk and then it was time to leave. But before that, Auntie reminded us that we were free to pop by anytime we wished, and made it painfully clear that she'd love for us to show up at their house more often. Much more often. It's no secret by now: my folks really liked Eri. Can't say it's a bad thing…
Eri hummed to the tune of the song she butchered earlier as we strolled back.
"I had a whale of a time!" she giggled, and I could tell she meant it. "Your aunt's hotpot was delicious… maybe a little on the salty side, but still good. And the karaoke bit was a nice extra. Who would've thought old songs from the 1970s would be such a blast? Oh, by the way, what did you think of my singing?"
"You sing like a cat in heat."
So now there were cats in addition to the cows and parrots. Her voice was like a freaking zoo. Miffed, she scrunched her lips into a pout.
"I don't sing like that," she huffed. "Cats can't sing when they're in heat anyway."
"Um, they don't sing, period. But that's not the point."
"At any rate," she said with a big smile, "your foster parents are as interesting as ever! Can't say I've ever had lunch at someone's house only to have a karaoke session afterwards. That was new to me!"
"Yeah, they've been in the business of being real strange since forever. To be fair, I did tell you to be ready for anything."
"Plus, I honestly didn't think they'd like me so quickly… Remember when I first met them? I was already calling them Auntie and Uncle by the time we were fully introduced. It's like I'd become their surrogate daughter or something."
I laughed. "And that bothers you?"
"Of course not." Her grin grew wider. "What this world needs is more family figures like them. Fun, eccentric, open-minded…" Then she pressed a finger to her lip, mired in thought. "Hmmm, I'm kinda worried about your uncle though. Is he gonna be okay?"
"He's just tired. With a little rest he'll be back on his feet so I wouldn't fret too much. Don't worry, he's a survivor."
"But I noticed he wasn't as talkative as the first time we met. You did notice that, right?"
"Actually… yeah, I did. But like I said, he's just exhausted from all the overtime he's had to do. You know how office jobs are like. So I don't think there should be an issue at all. Ah, it'll be nice if he could catch a break from work but sadly that isn't gonna happen soon."
Even with proper winter wear, the cold air managed to pierce through to my bones. Waiting for the bus out in the cold was hell. Eri was clinging to me for warmth as much as I was clinging onto her.
"Man, I'm gonna need a hot bath when I get home," I said through chattering teeth. "You look like you could need one too."
"Can we get in together?" she giggled. "I need something nice to look at while I'm soaking."
"So do I. By all means, hop in."
"Hee hee… I'm glad you've become just as open as your folks."
"I kinda wish you didn't mention the part about us doing it twice a week. You know how hyper they can get when they're happy. The next time we visit them, they're gonna ask about grandchildren all over again."
Giggling like a maniac, she hugged my arm tightly and winked. "How many should we give them?"
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I thought for a second there that she was serious.
"None," I coughed my reply. "We're not in a hurry."
She laughed her head off the rest of the way back to the bus stop.
XOXOXOXOXO
A couple of days later, Eri's manager summoned her to the agency to explain the details of her job for the upcoming expo. Back home, she told me everything.
"I'll be cosplaying as the MC from the Gynoid Dreams anime," she said. "A combat robot by the name of… uh… GAL-AXY. Yeah, I think I pronounced that right."
"Yup, that's what they call her."
I couldn't contain the smile that was growing on my lips. Gynoid Dreams would air next month, so her involvement in the expo was to drum up hype. It was a series that I had plans to watch, so seeing GAL-AXY in action on TV and imagining that it was Eri in cosplay instead should make for an amusing experience. Doubly amusing considering that she didn't like anime. Oh, the irony.
"The default outfit that GAL-AXY wears," she continued, "is pretty form-fitting, so my costume will need to be custom-made. They actually took my measurements just now so they can get to work making it right away."
"Can't wait to see you in it."
"Neither can I!" she squealed. "It's almost like a catsuit. I'm sure it must feel very sexy!"
"But it opens only from the front, right? Then the only problem is when you need to go and take a leak."
"Ugh, yeah. That's the catch. The price to pay for being beautiful. And then there's another thing."
"What's that?"
She gave a small grim laugh. "According to my manager, I'm practically a dead ringer for this GAL-AXY character, which makes me perfect for the role. …There's just one problem… okay, two."
"Two problems?"
"Ahaha, yeah… this and this." She pointed at her chest, an index finger jabbing into each breast.
And I understood. I let out a prolonged "Oh…"
"I'm told they're not big enough," she grumbled, "so I'm going to have to wear pads to bump myself up to C-cup, which is what GAL-AXY is rocking. Well, sorry for being the way I am!"
"Ah… that… kinda sucks to hear. Sorry about that."
"Eh, I'll be fine."
She shrugged, trying to sound like it didn't bother her, although I knew all too well this was a button she didn't like to be pressed. Looking at her obviously forced smile, I could see one corner of her mouth twitching comically.
Changing the subject, I said, "Uh, it sounds like you're gonna be pretty busy. I'll make some bentos for you to bring to the expo. What'd you like?"
That brightened her up and she was back to her cheerful self, all traces of her earlier grievances forgotten. "Ooh, can I have omelettes with beef cutlets, please? Some gyoza as a side dish would be nice too."
"Got it. What else?"
"That should be enough, I think. If you could pack in a couple of energy drinks that'd be great."
"Yeah, that sounds like a must-have."
She had one last request, which she accompanied with a coy smile. "Also, can you come visit me at the expo?"
"I'll be there! I want to see GAL-AXY and crew in – oh, no!"
Eri blinked in surprise at my sudden outburst. "Wh-What's wrong?"
"I almost forgot… Man, talk about inconvenient timing…" I whipped out my phone and brought up the calendar, hovering my finger over a particular day for her to see. "I just remembered. My class is lagging behind in one of the electives I'm taking, so our lecturer arranged for an extra class to be held next Saturday. But that's in the morning, so I'll totally miss out."
"That shouldn't be a problem," she said with a shrug. "We have two promo shows, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon. You can attend the afternoon one, but be sure to come on time; each show only lasts an hour."
"Yeah, I know. 3 to 4 pm. That's the only chance I've got."
"And there's always Sunday if things absolutely can't work out. The expo lasts for two days, so it's no biggie to miss one."
"Sure, but… it's your debut as a cosplayer. I wanted to be among the first ones to witness the grand entrance of the real-life GAL-AXY. I wanted to be there to cheer you on, you know?"
She beamed like the sun. "That's sweet of you, thanks. I'd have loved that too myself, but it's not like you can just skip class."
"Yeah, it's a bit of a bummer but I'll come along in the afternoon, that's a promise."
"Bring your hair along so I can pick you out from the crowd easily!"
"Sure, that's easy. It's already attached to my head."
"Heh!"
The expo was scarcely a week away, and as expectations ramped up so did the excitement. The anticipation of seeing my girlfriend in costume ripped my insides to ribbons. Of course, there were all of the other things to see and do like buying merchandise and browsing through the various artwork displays. As a graphics designer in the making, such events were very stimulating to my creativity.
This was going to be fun.
Unsurprisingly, I wasn't the only one who felt this way. And no, I wasn't talking about Eri. She may be under pressure to do her job well, but that's a different story.
"Hey Phones," said Kariya, during one of my visits to WildKat. "You heard about the anime expo in Akiba?"
"Sure I have. What's up?"
"I'm going to go take a look." He took a swig of soda. "You going?"
"Yeah, Eri's taking part, so I want to be there for her."
This took him by surprise. One eyebrow raised, he asked jokingly, "Wow, did you convert the fashionista into an otaku or something? I don't know how you managed to seduce her to our side but it's always good to have more of us like-minded people around, so… great going, buddy! Great going."
"I… uh, no, she's still not an anime fan. But she's been hired to help promote Gynoid Dreams as a cosplayer, so – "
"Really?" His eyes went wide. "You gotta be kidding me. Which character is she going to be?"
"GAL-AXY." Now I started to feel smug and felt compelled to show off.
He was almost thrown off his seat by the imaginary force of this revelation. "A cosplay of GAL-AXY?! Hot damn, now that you mention it, she does look the part! Now I'm even more motivated to go!"
"As long as you don't try anything funny around my girlfriend, I shouldn't need to haul you away in a straitjacket."
"You know I always kid, ha ha! But seriously, listen. Mina and Shooter…" – these were our gaming buddies in case you forgot – "…are also attending. The three of us are carpooling and we have space for one more person. Why don't you come along?"
"You got a car? That's news to me."
"Sure I do!" Then, slightly bashfully, he added, "Uh, it's secondhand though. And it's kinda small. It's cool if you wanna tag along, but you'll need to be in the back seat."
I shrugged. "I don't see what's wrong with that, but is there a particular reason?"
"Shooter intends to go in costume, and he's going to wear some sort of suit of armour. Thing is, the pauldrons are so large they effectively make him two feet wider. The back seat is the only place he'll fit. And Mina already reserved the front seat for herself."
"So I get the leftovers? Who's he cosplaying as that he needs pauldrons that big?"
"Vegetarian from Dragon Orb X."
"Ah. Figures. Can't he sit on top of the car, then?"
A loud guffaw rumbled forth from Kariya's tummy. "Do you want me to get arrested?"
"So that's a no?"
Another laugh. "You were serious? Okay, enough crud, Phones. You coming?"
"I want to, but are you going in the morning or the afternoon? I got an extra class on Saturday morning."
"Man," he huffed, "you college kids never get a break, eh? Can't you just skip class or something?"
"And fail my elective? Now you're the one with the crazy talk."
"Okay, I get it, Mr Star Student. You can only make it in the afternoon, right? Truth be told, I don't want to go in the morning either. I'm a night owl, I like staying up late. But that means I get up later too, so mornings don't exactly agree with me."
"You're a night owl? What, do you binge-watch Pretty Lure or something?"
He turned his nose up in disgust. "Hell no! Magical girl anime isn't my thing. Just… no, okay? If it's not the never-ending talk about friendship that ticks me off then it's the stupidly long transformation sequences."
"Ah, yes, that's always a thing with these shows. Then what keeps you up all night?"
"Heroes of Ziodim, of course! If I don't maintain my ranking on the leaderboards, who will?"
I sighed. "This is one of the reasons why you get chewed out by Uzuki so much."
"Gimme a break," he smirked. "How many times have I tried to explain to her the importance of playing at least four hours a day? Without that much dedication, you'll drop out of the rankings like a fly!"
"Uh…"
"I mean, seriously? She must be part of some anti-gaming cult or something. Ha, I bet she recites stuff like 'Work hard! Sacrifice your hobbies for the greater good! For the workforce!' Yeah, that sounds so like her."
"D-Dude? Um…"
"Oh boy, while we're at it, can we talk about how strict she can get? She rips you a new one the instant you're late. The very instant! It doesn't matter if you made it right on time. She's all like, 'Punctuality is a virtue' and all that crud. I say it's how much you do that counts and not when you arrive to start work for the day."
"I'll agree with the first part. But the second part's just as important."
"Dude, come on! You can't – "
Kariya froze mid-sentence. And not because it was winter or someone shot him with a freeze ray. I kinda froze myself, but I didn't have it half as bad as he did.
He was shooting bullets of sweat out of every pore on his face like a gatling gun. Meekly, he asked, "Phones… y-you didn't say that last bit… did you?"
"Uh… nope."
"Y-You sure? You weren't simply being very good at imitating Uzuki's voice in order to freak me out?"
"No… She's right behind you."
He swiveled round on his bar stool with the speed of a snail. I fancied he looked like one of those hapless characters in a horror movie who turn around to meet the monster standing behind them so they can scream and get killed. He was taking his time, but Uzuki was a patient woman. After all, he had nowhere to run. And when he finally saw her face-to-face, he was greeted with a smile. The kind of unsettling smile that tells you that you're doomed.
"Uh, hi!" said Kariya, still sweating. "L-Lovely day, isn't it?"
"Skiving, are we?" said Uzuki. "Charming way to pass the time, especially when you were supposed to have returned from your break forty-five minutes ago."
"I, um, kinda lost track of the time…"
She grabbed him by the collar and hauled him off. It was comical seeing him go all limp like a ragdoll in her hand, his sneakers drawing faint lines on the floor. To top it off, as he was being dragged away, he called out to me.
"Hey Phones, you okay for Saturday afternoon?"
"Yeah, that works. Gimme a call later to confirm the details."
"Groovy." The last I saw of him before he disappeared out the doors was an awkward thumbs-up.
Weirdness aside, at least now I had a ride to take me to the expo. And I'd be going in a group which ought to be interesting. Gotta free up space on my phone so I could store all the pictures I was sure to take.
Four more days… Never have four days felt so long!
XOXOXOXOXO
I could hardly sleep the night before the expo. I had a checklist of things I wanted to do and I wanted everything to turn out right, which was why I kept going over it in my head again and again. When morning finally broke I couldn't have gotten more than five hours of sleep in total, but I trusted the adrenaline running through my bloodstreams to keep me going.
Eri told me last night that she needed to leave early in the morning so I was an early bird myself, helping to prepare the bento I'd promised her. Breakfast was abuzz with energy but by the time we were both ready to head out the front door the very air was crackling like lightning.
"And before I forget," I said, "here are a couple of energy drinks in case you need a pick-me-up."
She took the bento off my hands and sighed in content as the aroma that seeped out took her to high heavens.
"Mmmm, this is the stuff! Just the smell alone is enough to give me an – "
"Stop. Now's not the time for another 'orgasm' joke."
"I was about to say 'an amazing nervous breakdown'."
"Sure you were. Sure." How did that even make any sense?
"Thanks though! I know I'm going to need this."
Her lips were soft and delectable when I leaned into her mouth. I kept the pressure on long enough that it could last her the whole day.
"This is the first major job in your modeling career, Eri," I said, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Give it your all, but make sure you eat when you get a chance! It's no good to go hungry."
"I'll manage! You'll pop by in the afternoon, right? Together with your other buddies."
"Heh, yeah, it's a promise. Just don't mind Shooter too much. He tends to get too excited about stuff, but he's not a bad kid."
Eri laughed. "Ooh, so he's one of those rabid fan types? The type to not wash their hand after a famous person shakes it?"
"That's a pretty good way to put it," I chuckled. "If you smile at him and he runs off to scream to the world that he just met GAL-AXY, don't be too freaked out."
"Ha ha ha! I wonder what sort of reaction he'll have if I pat him on the head."
"Don't even try," I said with a playful shudder. "I don't think he'll be able to take it. You could kill him."
Eri and I took the bus together since both of our destinations were along the same route. I alighted at my college first, while she would travel for another twenty minutes or so until she reached Akihabara.
I couldn't concentrate on my classes. Either I was impatient for the morning to end or I was too anxious for Eri's sake, wondering if she would be okay. She's never taken part in an event of this scale and I worried that she might not be able to cope with the writhing tide of diehard gamers and otakus. Worse, she might gain herself another fan club… These people were in another phylum altogether when it came to their dedication to anime and whatnot.
But I shan't drone on and on about how worried I was. Eventually the morning was over and I, along with the others, converged at the parking lot at the foot of the apartment building where Kariya lived. It was kind of a rush meeting up with the SHIBUY4 G4MERS, knowing we'd be going on an excursion together, and my worries lessened considerably. We gathered round his sedan; judging from the rust creeping into the paint, it had seen better days.
And, of course, Shooter turned up in full Dragon Orb X gear. The embellishments on his armour were ridiculous. Kariya sure wasn't joking about the pauldrons.
"How wide are they?" I asked.
"Two feet each, bro!" answered Shooter proudly. "I made absolutely sure my costume is exactly to scale! All I'm missing is the super powers."
"And the hair."
"I couldn't grow my hair long enough for that, bro!" he almost lamented. "But then I got to thinking: why not incorporate my own hairstyle into the cosplay? It'd make for a completely new look! My bandanna plus Vegetarian's armour would totally rock, bro!"
"I don't watch DOX," said Mina, "but your hybrid cosplay works about as well as a brontosaurus with a can of soda."
Shooter gasped. I thought his pride had been hurt, but I was mistaken.
"Soda-guzzling dinosaurs?! That's freakin' dope, bro! You got my thanks for that compliment!"
Mina muttered half to herself under her breath, "I was being sarcastic, but never mind."
"Alright, children, settle down," laughed Kariya. "Before we head out, let's just make sure everything's in order. Tickets?"
"Check!"
Satisfied that each of us was waving a ticket in our hand, he continued, "Snacks and water?"
We went through a short checklist of necessities. You may think going to an expo or convention is as easy as showing up for class, but if you're not prepared you could end up in an inconvenient situation. Let's just say you don't want to have to waste time looking for food and water when you could be having fun.
"Aight!" said Kariya at last. "Looks like we're set to go. Hop in."
Mina eyed the car's paintwork, which was shoddy to say the least and obviously neglected for ages, prompting her to ask, "Is it safe? Your car, I mean."
"Now that you mention it," I said, "it does look like it's falling apart. No offense, by the way."
But Kariya just shrugged it off with a laugh, leaning casually against it. "You guys worry too much. Sure, it's secondhand and it doesn't look pretty, but I've used it for five years and it's never let me down! It's never – "
Just then, one of the side mirrors popped off by itself and clattered to the ground with a loud clang. All eyes were fixated on it.
It was a miracle that it didn't shatter. Or I guess you could call that a "mirror-cle".
Kariya nonchalantly picked it up. "Well, barring that one little mishap, it's never let me down." He wedged it back in place with some difficulty and it ended up askew.
"Dude," I said, "your car is in no condition to be driven."
Mina mused aloud, "Think we should take a bus?"
But it was a suggestion immediately vetoed by Shooter. "I'm dressed as Vegetarian, bro! My costume will just get in everyone's way!"
"Guys," said Kariya, "it's just the side mirror that's busted. My car is in perfect working condition otherwise! Here, I'll show you."
To prove his point, he turned on the ignition… only for his car to greet him with an unenthusiastic whimper. Again and again he tried to get it running, but the engine failed to start. Kariya was left scratching his head in puzzlement.
"Um… this is awkward…"
"No kidding," sighed Mina. "Your battery's flat."
"But it was just fine yesterday! I knew we were going to Akihabara today and that's why I checked to see that my car's in good working condition! How was I to know my battery would die on me today?"
"Maybe your battery needs changing – "
"Bro!" squawked a restless Shooter. "I don't care if it's batteries or diapers that need changing; how're we gonna get there now? D-Don't tell me we gotta take a bus…"
He had a point for once. Fortunately, Kariya had a simple solution.
"I'll see if I can't get a hold of Uzuki." He took out his phone and punched in some numbers. "Maybe she can give us a ride. But Shooter, you're gonna have to detach those pauldrons for now."
"Wh-Why should I?" He almost looked betrayed. "This costume is the result of my blood, sweat and tears!"
Kariya wore a serious look. "Dude, with Uzuki in the car we'll come up to five people. And it's not a big car either, so three of us will need to be in the back. It's cramped enough as it is, but with your thingamajigs in the way it'll be even worse. And don't think of sitting in the passenger seat with those things in tow."
Shooter smacked a fist into his open palm, head bursting with a bright idea. "I know! I'll sit on top of the car! That way I wouldn't need to bother anybody!"
I exchanged looks with Kariya, who muttered, "Wow, it sure feels like déjà vu in here, don't you think?"
We still had a full hour before the Gynoid Dreams afternoon promo show aired, so here's hoping things would be sorted out before then and we could be on our merry way soon. The others made small talk while we waited for Uzuki to show up. Shooter took Kariya's words to heart and went to work detaching the pauldrons very reluctantly. And during that time, my phone rang.
"Auntie?" I said, upon answering. "Hi, what's up?"
Something was wrong. Her usual cheery demeanor was absent. She spoke with a strained voice, like she wasn't in the mood to goof around. It was so unlike her, and it was unsettling. I hoped she was messing with me, but I had a feeling that wouldn't be the case.
"Neku?" she said. "Where are you right now?"
"I'm at my friend's place… We're getting ready to go to Akihabara."
"Neku, I'm sorry, but… please come to the hospital right now. Your uncle had a heart attack and I had to send him here."
What? Uncle had a… a heart attack? How… How did this happen? That's… impossible. Uncle was strong, unflappable. He wouldn't get something like a heart attack, right?
But I knew Auntie wasn't messing around.
At that moment, the whole world seemed to go white, all around me.
…
…
Author's note: Sorry for the late update. I know it's been two months since the last chapter. I don't have any excuses for myself…
I had a little debate with myself about what medical condition I should give to Neku's uncle. At first I wanted him to collapse from exhaustion, but then I wanted the story to have a greater sense of urgency. So next up was heart palpitations. However, after a little research on the internet I found that while they could be quite bad at times, a sufferer will generally have no need to be hospitalized. Eventually I went for a heart attack to show how serious things had become.
But by no means am I making the story dark. We all get sick at some point, so this is just a little something I injected into the tale to make it… well, more grounded in reality? But really, I just wanted to introduce a significant crisis so we can see how Neku deals with it.
I originally wanted to conclude this arc within one chapter but as of this point I'd already reached around 10000+ words so now's a good time to end the chapter. The arc will thus continue in Chapter 51. Oh well, see you around!
