Note: short but cute story. Because I have a morbid fascination for a depressed Ianto, this is another post-Lisa fic. Janto of course.

Now, if you haven't noticed ... I do like jumping on bandwagons. So I've gotten myself a livejournal (username: goddess_ophelia) and a twitter account (username: danisanna). Do add me if you wish.

Also, anyone got a prompt for me? Plotbunnies have all shied away from me recently. Probably getting ready for Easter ...


Rock bottom

Jack held Ianto close as he felt the younger man's breath hitch in his sleep. He had been cradling him all night, silently whispering soothing words into his ears as he wiped the tears that fell from the most beautiful blue eyes the Captain has ever seen.

Last night, Ianto had hit rock bottom. He could no longer cope with the pain, heartache and sorrow that had colored his world the past few weeks. He could no longer cope with the silence that filled his life, both at home and at work.

His house, not quite a home, was deadly empty. It seemed bigger now that he knew Lisa was never coming back. Even though she had never stepped inside 'their' apartment, her absence made the flat so much bigger. And emptier. And darker.

Boxes filled with her stuff lay unopened in the furthest corner. Unopened and unused. Yet Ianto could not bring himself to put them away in storage. After all, with no body to bury and no grave to cherish, it was all that was left of the beautiful girl he had once fallen in love with.

An icy chill seemed to temporarily reside in the flat, as if Lisa's spirit haunted the place. As if she was looking for a way to connect with him, to blame or thank him for her demise.

So night after night each time he closed the door behind him, he was once more confronted with the loneliness of being left behind.

Work. Can you call being a Torchwood agent work? No, it's more a lifestyle. Ianto compared the work he did to a curse. A curse bestowed upon those who were chosen to save the world. Chosen to be alone and die early.

Every morning he got up and did his routines. Shower. Dress. Eat. Coffee. Work. Each morning he did the same damned thing. He did everything his co-workers wanted him to. Silently and demure, he did what he was told. He didn't question their orders nor did he refuse them. Because that was what Ianto Jones did.

He didn't mind following the orders though. After months of taking the lead and taking care of everything, he was glad that he didn't have to make decisions, he was perfectly content to follow them. It wasn't the orders that hurt him, it was the cold and hostile environment that suddenly cascaded on everyone in the Hub. The constant sniping, sarcastic comments, barked orders and most of all the silent disgust he got from his much loved co-workers. That hurt.

But sometimes one of them would do something nice, out of guilt or maybe pity. Toshiko brought him coffee, Gwen thanked him and hugged him after a heartfelt conversation, Jack had complimented him on his organizing skills. Owen even ignored him instead of constantly being on his case. Little things like that shone light at the end of the tunnel but unfortunately they did not weigh up against the bad.

So one night, he had enough. He had screamed at the world, cried, wailed and swore until his voice was hoarse. He had thrown plates at no one in particular, chucked books on the floor and punched the wall until his knuckles bled. He had slumped to the ground and cursed himself for being what he was – and for surviving.

Jack had let him. He had ducked every time something was thrown at him, screamed and cursed back at him when words were directed his way and he had kept Ianto from hurting himself. In the end he was there, right by his side on the floor. Right at the bottom of the bottle.

With effort he had dragged Ianto into his bed and let him weep out the last of his sorrow. Holding him tightly, he soothed the young and pained man into sleep. He caressed him when the nightmares took over and cradled him back to sleep when he jolted awake. He did so despite the overwhelming urge to run.

The morning broke the spell that the night had cast and as the light lit up vague ghosts in Ianto's bedroom, Jack felt the young man shift in his embrace. Tired and bloodshot eyes fluttered open and locked with alert blue eyes.

"Morning," Jack whispered. "You alright?"

"You stayed." Ianto responded, not so much a question but a statement.

"I did," Jack replied. "Of course I did."

"I would have understood if you had left, sir."

"Now why would I do that?"

Ianto snorted and buried his face in his pillow. "Why would you stay?"

"Well," Jack started. "Mostly because I know you needed me to stay. It's pointless to say otherwise. And the last thing I wanted to do, is be like everyone else in your life. I'm not going to run when it gets tough."

"Again I ask, why would you stay?" There was genuine concern behind Ianto's statement and it did not escape Jack's attention.

"Because I think you need to have something that's nice in your life. Everyone needs that. Certainly one of my friends should get that."

"Why you? Of all people who should hate me, you're the one I would have expected to hate me the most."

"And why is that Ianto?"

"I may have endangered the team with my actions but you … you I betrayed in every possible way. I hurt you. I used you. And still you're here…"

Jack moved closer to Ianto when he heard his voice falter. "Shh. It's fine."

"You must think I'm so pathetic. I can't let go of my dead girlfriend and I can't stop crying over her."

"I don't think that. Not at all." Jack responded as he patted circular motions on Ianto's back. "God, no. Not you. I think you're beautiful."

For a moment, Ianto tensed up in the embrace. Not sure how to react, Ianto searched for Jack's gaze as if he were asking a silent question.

"I mean it. I think you're beautiful. Inside and out."

Ianto blinked back fresh tears that were dancing on his lashes. "Why?"

Jack chuckled at the innocent look Ianto was giving him. A look of pure and utter disbelief and wonder. "Because you're a remarkable man. You're witty, funny, intelligent and you care. You care so much. And after all you've gone through, that's pretty amazing. And the most important thing is that you are a good person."

"And now all there is to do is convince the rest of the world." Ianto dryly countered as a sigh escaped his lips.

"I don't care about the rest of the world." Jack replied. "I care about you. What do you think?"

"I think you're insane for putting so much faith in me."

"Is that truly how you feel?" Jack asked cautiously.

"I think you're the most incredibly creature that walks this earth and I can't for the life of me figure out why you're here with me."

Jack uncharacteristically blushed. "Well … isn't it obvious?"

"My coffee?" Ianto shyly asked.

Jack chuckled lightheartedly, the sound echoing in the room and instantly brightening up the tense mood. He placed a sweet kiss on Ianto's forehead and got out of the bed. "Come on, let's get breakfast started."

Ianto could not help but smile as he saw Jack exit his bedroom whilst wearing his pijama bottom and slippers. The smile grew into a grin as he distinctively heard Jack mutter words under his breath that surprisingly sounded a lot like 'cheeky bastard'.

Ianto looked to his side and saw the sun rising in the distance. "A new day." he said. "A fresh start."