Sounds of Screaming:

-Chapter Forty-Five: Given Up


I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared

Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?

Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the heck is
Wrong with me?
God!

~ "Given Up" – Linkin Park


Hummers...

The only thought going through Ryan Wolfe's head was his destination, the parking lot. He forced himself to forget everything else, focusing all determination on getting there as quickly as possible.

He forgot his tiredness, his teammates racing to catch up with him, the passers-by who stared at him with a curious alarm.

He forcefully shoved the reason why he was running to the Hummers out of his head, the reason why he was about to dart in between Miamian traffic like a madman and the reason why he was about to walk into a warehouse, not knowing if he would ever walk back out again.

No, Ryan pushed Natalia from his thoughts completely, that way; he had more attention and energy to save her.

One of the bystanders stepped out of the sea of suits and uniforms, catching Ryan's attention and making him push himself harder, he couldn't afford to be stopped, he was so close to his Hummer...

"Slow down Wolfe."

The suit covered arm stretched out, a pinkish hand extended, stopping him in his tracks. Ryan glared into the brown eyes he'd grown to hate over the years at the lab.

"What you want Stetler?"

Rick didn't flinch, or show any response to Ryan's harsh tone, he was well used to the attitudes of the CSI dayshifts.

"Wolfe, where do you think you're going?"

Ryan's fists clenched, his jaw locking. His irritation and impatience to find Natalia was mixing with his usual hatred of the IAB agent.

If Rick held him up a second longer, Ryan would be fit to kill him.

"You see, when a CSI goes missing and an elderly civilian dies feet from that lab, surrounded by supposedly trained officials, I am the one who gets blamed for it."

Ryan fought to control the shaking of his clenched hands, but he couldn't stop the anger seeping into his voice. "So what you want me to do about it?"

Rick's lips bubbled slightly, a smile and grimace mingling in one. "Like I said, I already got a lot on my plate here Wolfe, I don't need you doing something stupid out there looking for Boa Vista over a 'conflict of interest'."

Ryan's anger simmered down to confusion and annoyance, "Conflict of interest?"

Rick stepped closer to him, making sure no passing by officer or civilian could hear him. "I'm talking about a conflict of interest you may have finding Boa Vista...one your teammates might not have."

It only took a second for the answer to click in Ryan's raging mind, He knows? The son of a bitch knows...!

Rick raised his hands, retaining Ryan's attention. "Look, I'm doing you a favour here. Now I'm warning you now Wolfe, get yourself off this case right now, or they'll be hell to pay."

Ryan's eyes shot wide then narrowed. He wasn't going to give up so easily.

"Stetler, there's no way I'm-"

Rick cut the air with his hands, cutting Ryan off as well. "I'm not giving you an option here Wolfe. Now I'm ordering you to go home right now."

Leaving with a commanding glare, Rick walked towards the lab, not saying a word to the approaching CSIs or their Lieutenant.

Calleigh, Eric and Walter all passed Ryan to their respected Hummers, quietly wondering why he was just standing still in the middle of the parking lot. They had seen him and Rick talking, but the IAB agent was walking away by the time they had reached the frozen CSI.

Maybe Ryan was having second thoughts on going to the warehouse; none of the CSIs could say they blamed him.

They all dreaded what they might find.

"Mr. Wolfe?"

Ryan didn't answer Horatio immediately, too lost in his thoughts to notice his Lieutenant standing behind him, concern clear in his lined features.

"Mr. Wolfe, are you still sure you want to join us?"

Though he knew was the type of man to never back down, Horatio wanted to give him the choice, hoping he would say if he didn't want to roll out.

After all, they didn't know what they expected to find. All they could do was hope for the best.

Ryan remained quiet as Horatio approached, stopping a foot in front of him and watching his expression carefully. Ryan's face portrayed calculation and deep thinking. Finally he sighed, meeting Horatio's eyes with a decision shining in his.

"Yeah H, I'm ready."


Give up. Give in.

The voices snarled animalistic within her mind, growls echoing against her skull. The were stronger than before, hell bent on forcing her mind into subbmission, to force her under the pull of the darkness.

Give up.

Natalia didn't have the energy to shake her head, or argue with them anymore. It seemed like an eternity had passed since the Spaniard had left her alone and ever since then, the corners of her blurred vision were tinting black.

Give in.

She spent what little energy she had left fighting the voices' commands, trying to avoid slipping under the looming darkness. One thing that helped her fight it, was the fear that if she fell under, she would know when she'd wake back up.

If she'd ever wake up.

Give up. Give in. Resistance is futile. Let the pain end.

Another wave of darkness hit her, the edges of her vision imploded in, she knew she was sinking. With the creeping darkness, numbness approached. It was comforting.

Give up. You can't fight it.

The darkness was advancing faster now, her eyes fell shut on their own accord. The numbness flowed through her completely, soothing every pained limb and tense nerve, extinguishing the fires that burned her.

Am I dying?

The voices didn't answer her, but she didn't take that as a no. The answer was scientific, the only way she seemed to thinking lately. Hope was gone, as was her hopes of help from the Spaniard, or the team.

No, she was on her own.

How much longer can I last?

The human body, if she remembered correctly, could last up to a week without food. Struggling to remember how long she was there, Natalia couldn't tell. Ryan, the team, her family, they felt like distant memories from a past life.

It hasn't been a week yet...I think...

The darkness swept over her, crushing her consciousness, she knew she couldn't last much longer. Remembering her previous thought, her dry lips fell into a frown, her head hung forward.

The human body may last a week without food, but only three days without water. Though she was only past two days, Natalia couldn't fight it any longer.

The darkness consumed her.


Oh no! Are the team going to be too late?

Lyrics could refer to either Ryan or Natalia, and also, it's Linkin Park! That's the icing on the cake :)

Find out next time ;)

-Mel out ;D