Chapter 50: Pomp and Circumstance- Monday
Disclaimer: FSOG belongs to EL James
A/N Sorry this was coming out this weekend, but I caught up in the debate. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and following - Enjoy - And ignore all grammatical mistakes - please
The door floats back from out of her hand. Christian's head pops up. His eyes zero in on the brewing frustration in his doorway- Andria, and I vying for position, and his attention. He starts rising. "Roz, let's talk later. A skirmish is breaking out in my-" He pauses in mid-sentence. The phone hovering at his ear, Christian breaks his stride. "No. I can handle it." The handset rattles in the cradle, as he rounds the desk.
"Mr. Grey, I tried to stop her," Andria blurts out. I shudder at her audacity, and stupidity.
His tepid expression, hardens lightening quick. "Andria. Her, has a name. Let me repeat it for you one more time. My girlfriend." He goes on to admonish her, and I cringe as she shrivels right in front of me. His nonverbal cues were telling, but I didn't expect him to verbally eviscerate her. Christian, holds his Executive Assistant in the highest esteem, and speaks glowingly of her so her suicide mission is unexplainable.
Her regret is immediate, the shame palpable. "Of, course Mr. Grey." Andria is contrite. "Miss Steel." Slinking back, in a conciliatory gesture she nods her head at me, and my ugly human nature response is to cut my eyes at her. Normal, and understandable considering the circumstances, but not an accurate representation of my feelings.
"Whoa. Remind me not to make you mad." Tugging me inside the office, Christian taps the door and it closes. "I'll, have a sit down with her. Review protocol so this doesn't happen again." He flips my hair behind my shoulders.
"Don't. You were firm. Scolding her in front of me was punishment enough."
He searches my face. "I said to call." He toys with my hair. His obsession with it, is sometimes maddening. "You didn't have to come by. I'm thrilled. Taylor, didn't inform me that he was picking you up-"
"I drove."
The broad smile he's wearing, morphs into an angry scowl. "What!" He drops his hand. "Are you insane! You realize the danger you put yourself-"
"Why didn't you tell me about Jose?" He wasn't going to excoriate me, when I'm locked and loaded.
Backpedaling, Christian cups the edge of his desk, and leans on the front of it.
Flashback
"He's coming now Sir."
"You wait here Jason."
"Are you sure Mr. Grey."
"Yes." Flinging the door back, I step from the SUV, stunning the unsuspecting asswipe.
"Christian Grey," he sputters, and stutters.
Just to toy with him, I fidget with my cufflinks. "Just this once I'm going to let you swallow the foot in your mouth instead of stuffing it down your throat, and pulling it out the other end, because I'm certain you're overwhelmed right about now. But let's get this straight, I'm Mr. Grey to you, that is if I allow you to use my name at all. It was very evident at the photo shoot, that you had a problem with me-"
"You were hitting on my girlfriend."
"Did you just interrupt me?" His eyes drop, and the power emboldening me soars to new heights when he demonstrates he's more of a bitch than my Submissive. "Girlfriend. I'd find that charming, if I didn't feel sorry for you. You pathetic asshole. You're not worthy to scrape the gum off the bottom of her converse, less more man enough to be her boyfriend."
His eyes zoom up, and they flash with fury. I'm impressed, he's showing some fight. "And you are?"
I step into his chest. "Comparing yourself to me is a false equivalency, in the same way, I led you to believe that this was a two-sided discussion. My bad. You know why I'm here?" I can smell the fear on his breath, hear his heart pounding in his chest, and feel the very air he's breathing begging me for mercy. Or forgiveness. Instead, I violate his personal space further, reinforcing our height difference, bolstering my power over him.
"No." His voice is strong, forcible even, but inside his overpriced, imported designer sneakers he's trembling.
"Too bad. Your life depends on it." He gulps, and I can't help it, I snigger in his face. "How does the fear feel? Remember it, the next time you decide to attack a woman. You're lucky you're not in jail. You're lucky you're not eating the gravel right now. You're even luckier, you're not at the bottom of the sound. But your luck has finally run out. You will not touch Anastasia again. You will not be in her presence. You will not cross her path. Ever. When you see her on the street, you will go to the other side. If you have a class with her, you will drop it. If she crosses your mind, you'll change it. And in case your small pea brain, is calculating how I would know. Don't test me." He glances at the car. "And don't get confused by his presence, my tailored suits, or manicured fingers, because I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. I live for it. Translation I will kill you myself, or worse make you wish you were dead." Pivoting, I slide my sunglasses on.
"What about graduation," he hollers, "we're graduating at the same time."
"Oh well. I guess you're shit out of luck." Removing the sunglasses, I slide inside the back of the SUV.
"I'm not apologizing Anastasia."
"And I'm not asking you to."
He crosses his arm in front of his chest, at the same time he crosses his legs at the ankles. "Then why are you foaming at the mouth."
"I'm disappointed you didn't tell me. That you went against my wishes. And yet again, you used your power for bad- manipulating, and controlling someone's life. The rest of us weren't put on this earth to be used as pawns, for your amusement. Be killed or destroyed, can't be your resolution to every problem Christian. There has to be a middle ground-"
He bolts from the desk. "There's no middle ground when it comes to you."
"My safety, doesn't give you the unalienable right, to impede on someone else's constitutional rights. You're not God, and you're not above the law. You cannot control where he goes, or what he does, he's a free man, and in my world freedom is free."
Christian rolls his eyes. "Anastasia, he touched what is mine."
"Jose's attending Graduation Christian."
"I should've killed him when I had the chance."
"That's what I mean. As loving and well-intended your intentions are, your obsession with the misogynistic sentiment, 'what is mine', is demeaning to me, and crippling to you. It blocks you from seeing me as a person, woman, or your equal. It will always give you the excuse to behave in a boorish manner. I've been complicit, allowing you to believe I was content with being your property. Yes, I want to be yours. I like being yours." I press my hand on his chest. "In your heart. Not in there." With my chin, I gesture to his head.
Christian pinions my wrist. "You're not my equal. You're better than me."
"I'm not better than you. We're cut from the same cloth; I just wear mine differently." I peel his hand away, and remove my hand. "I never wavered in my support for you, and I was very clear that he's to stay out of my life. Plus, you don't have to worry, the likely hood of seeing each other at the ceremony is slim to none." My phone beeps. "It's Lulu, I need to get this."
"Go. You sit at the conference table."
Scrambling in the direction of Christian's eyes, I press talk. "Lulu."
"Snow. Sweetie, it's so great to hear your voice. In a few days you're going to be graduating from college. I don't think I'm going to survive."
"Oh no." Pulling out the head chair, I plop down and a prop an elbow on the polished wood. "That wistful tones, tells me that we're going into big chocolate curls, doe eyes, and porcelain doll territory."
"I will never forget the first time I saw you. You were the baby doll, I always wanted, but never got come to life."
"Don't do it Lulu, it's only going to make you weep more."
"Sweetie, I know we have lots to talk about, but can it wait until after the graduation, I want to savor this moment..." She pauses.
"Yes. I'm quite emotional myself." There's a pregnant pause.
"I saw in you everything I wanted to be, but knew I never could achieve. I pinned all my hopes onto you. That one day...you'd reach the stars. It is why, I protected you so fiercely. I'd lay down my life for you Snow White."
I sniff. "I know. I can't wait to see you. I've missed you sooo much."
"I'd been thinking I'd settle down. Boston. Maybe. In recent years I've missed so much of your life, I don't want to miss anymore. I could get us a cute bungalow not too far from campus. It would be like old times, but better- we'd have a roof over our heads, and food to eat," she chuckles.
"That's the picture of a dream come true, but my life has changed. A lot-"
"There's a man. You're back with Luke."
"This isn't the time; I'll explain it to you when I see you."
"It's going to have to wait a little longer. I won't be able to make in a day ahead like we'd talked about. The best I can do is later that evening, but for sure I'll be there for graduation."
Lulu, and I strategize how we're going to meet up. Finalizing the plans, I end the call, and stuffing the cell in the pocket of my jeans I clear the divider. "I won't lie; I was furious at you." Christian wheels around from the bank of windows, and face me. "Partly, the reason I was insanely stupid, and careless, but I needed to see you. Not to berate you, or chastise you. I can't condone what you did, but I get it. I. Get. It."
He untucks his hands from his pockets. "Get what?"
I come to a standstill in front of him. "Since you reappeared, I've struggled with understanding how you could go from complete disdain to an undying love for me. Well in some sick way, this ugly episode was the key. Things clicked. You loved me then, so I can better accept that you love me now."
He cups the side of my face. "I guess I owe him, if in some fucked up way he's brought you to my side, I can let go of the anger."
Portland
"Are you okay." Christian locks the door.
The tips of my fingers, skim the top of the sofa, draped with a drop cloth. "Yes. Kate's absence, coupled with the emptiness in the apartment is forcing me to come to terms with the end of this part of my life."
From behind, he encapsulates my waist in his arms. "You do know, what's in store for you is going to be so much better." Christian rests his chin on the top of my head.
I tilt my eyes up. "I know." I loosen his arms. "So, let me do the final sweep of my room, and we can get the party started." I step out of his embrace.
"I'm sorry your Lulu can't make it; I was looking forward to meeting her."
Prancing, I peek over my shoulder. "Don't be too disappointed, you'll see her tomorrow. Tonight if we're lucky."
Gripping the doorframe, I stare into the nearly bare room, inspecting the corners, my bed, and the wall I once designated as the baby's spot. Sighing deeply, I let go, and crossing the threshold, I scramble to bed that is just a frame, and the mattress. Falling on my knees, I dig between the two components, dragging out the birthday cards from Luke, I'd stashed away. Flopping to my butte, I lean my back against the bed, and peruse each, reminding myself of the brief, but fiery love affair. Then ripping the cards to pieces, I destroy the documented memories of it.
Sprinkling the scraps into the waste basket, I glance at the door, and empathic gray eyes greet me. "Feel better."
Pressing my palms to the floor, I start to lift. "Yes. Actually I do. I needed to get the bed sorted out, before Mr. Taylor has it taken out of here." Christian helps me to my feet. "Cleaning between the mattress. You know things like that."
"I don't know, but I'll trust you. Take your word for it." Happily, he assists me with dusting off my rear-end. "So, are you done. Are you ready to go?"
"I'm so done." I smack my hands back and forth. "And I'm so ready to get out of here."
"Good. Luke's bringing my family to the hotel. Mom, and dad are sorry Ray won't be able to make lunch."
"He sends his apology, but he's going to do his best to get here for dinner. He's looking forward to seeing your mother again, and getting to know your dad."
"Disappointed, Lulu won't be there either. What are you doing about her ticket?"
"Why the sudden fascination with Lulu?"
"It's not sudden. You've known for a while that I'm anxious to meet her. If for no other reason, then to thank her for helping you."
"She did more than help, she was my lifeline. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her. I will forever be grateful to her." I sniff. "Jesus. All this crying is killing me. I get sentimental at the drop of a hat, how am I going to survive tomorrow?"
Chuckling, Christian reaches inside his jacket for his handkerchief. "I have no idea."
I dab at my eyes. "Anyways, if I had my druthers she'd be here now, but I'm hoping for dinner; however, realistically it won't be until tomorrow. And I'm leaving her ticket at will call."
The prior weeks were filled with so much razzle-dazzle, that Christian has kept my graduation festivities subdued. Yesterday, we had lunch in his suite with his family. Dinner that night, was at a very pedestrian restaurant. So, he rented the entire space for the evening, but for Christian it was a low key affair. For me it didn't matter where we were, the joy in my heart from watching him interact with his family was touching, and revelatory. There's so much love, it overwhelmed his heart's capacity, choking it. In some cruel twist of fate, he mistook the overflow as a lack of love, and an example of his dead heart.
Since Ray, and Kate were unable to make any of the festivities, we're sharing a celebratory breakfast with them. The spread is enough to feed the entire hotel, fortunately we had the foresight to make arrangements with the local food bank to pick up the leftovers, and Christian put them in contact with the hotel manager to make the arrangement permanent. In addition he gave a substantial gift of money. Out of all the fabulous things, he has done, and given to me, that act of kindness was the most generous.
"More Coffee Mr. Grey?"
"No." The young woman moves on to Ray.
"So, Ana did you say goodbye to the kids at the center?" Kate says.
I swallow the mouth full of French toast. "Not yet. I didn't have the heart. I'll do it before I go to Boston, I should have control of my emotions by then." Dipping another piece of toast, into the maple syrup, I inquire about her parents.
"You know mom, she's excited, and dad. Well. He's dad. But they both can't wait to see you. They have a gift for you. They were going to send it with me, but I told them to save it. Give to you, themselves."
"Oh, that's so sweet. But they didn't have to."
"Ana, please. If my parents could they would trade me for you."
"Smart people." Water spews from Ray's mouth, as he tries not to laugh at Christian's childish antics.
Retrieving my glass, from the waitress, I admonish both of them. "Ana is right Christian, Kate has been a great friend to her. If it weren't for Kate and Lulu, I can't say Ana would be here." Ray offers the staunchest support of Kate I've ever heard.
"Ray you know Lulu. So, she isn't some person Anastasia made up-"
Kate cuts Christian off. "No, that would be you." She said it under her breath, so I'm not convinced it was meant for our ears.
Christian glowers at her, putting an end to my hopes of a drama free weekend. After the dust had settled, somehow I ended up with Ray, and for some reason today of all days, he's chosen to be an extremely cautious driver, and a chatty father.
Pressing my foot down in the floorboard of the passenger side, I floor the car. "Ray. On the heel of what has happened to you, I hate asking you to speed up. But I don't want to be late or worse yet miss my own graduation. I've already lost the alone time with Christian."
"When did you become so needy. He'll be fine."
I twist in my seat belt. "When did you become this." I splay my arms in front of him.
"When I realized that despite my failings, and shortcomings I'd managed to raise a daughter that is self-sufficient, thoughtful, beautiful, and these are the least of her good qualities. Kiddo your perseverance, and steadiness during the most daunting period of your life, brings a cantankerous old man like me to his knees. You don't need any man to validate your worth, but if you are absolutely positively sure that Christian is the man for you to love, then I'm behind you 100%."
"I don't know what the future holds-"
With his free hand, Dad rests his hand on my thigh. "Don't worry about the future. Right now. What is your heart telling you?"
"I know you'd been holding out hope for Luke, and me."
"Ana." He squeezes my thigh. "Your heart. What is it telling you? Whose name makes it flutter."
I cup his hand. "You dad," I sniff, "you're the only man that makes my heart skip a beat."
The car rolls to a stop, and sliding his hand back, Ray puts it in park. "Your mother should be here. You should be having this talk with her."
"You're here, you're all I need."
"I'd never apologized to you. Not sufficiently anyways. I'm so sorry I didn't fight for you. For her - I'd underestimated competing with a ghost. She's never recovered from the death of your birthfather."
"I don't need an apology, you did right by me Raymond Steel."
"Don't think too harshly of your mother. She's still chasing that ghost."
"I don't. Not anymore."
"I love you. But I gave you the minimum requirement as a father. I provided you shelter, food, and clothing, but I left your higher needs to professionals. I didn't give you the love, and support you deserved."
"You'd more than made up for it these past months."
"What you did for me when I was sick, was far more than I deserved from you."
"Ray, fathers and daughter don't tally what they do for each other, that's petty, not real love. They cherish, and delight in being able to."
He sets my cap on top of my head, moving the tassel to the side. "You, should get going." He points behind me with his chin.
"I'm already late a few seconds won't matter." Sitting forward, I wipe the moisture from his cheeks. "There. No more tears," I sniffle.
"Eh, I'm not crying. Old Soldiers don't cry."
"No, they don't." I plant a kiss on his damp cheeks, and holding on to my hat I open my door.
Ray grabs my arm. "How many of these moments did I miss in your life."
"It doesn't matter, you're here now."
"You have a wonderful life in store for you kiddo, and I'm going to be rooting you on every step of the way," Ray murmurs, "who makes your heart flutter?"
I smile. "Christian."
He winks at me. "Get going."
Anchoring the cap to my head, with my fingers, I leap from the truck, and soon as my feet hit the ground, I race across the courtyard to the entrance of the auditorium. And then suddenly a sentimental force so strong it draws me around. Just like my first day of school, he's waiting for me to go inside the building and my mom isn't. "Good you're here." A disembodied voice interrupts my Kodak moment.
Snorting, I give him a small wave, and in the distance I see Ray's arm in the air, and I disappear into the building. "Is my group gone."
"Long gone. Can't you tell? The music is playing. The students are marching in. You're here in the nick of time."
"This is the end of the line," I whisper
"You have a better idea?" The graduate advisor mouths.
Zipping up my robe, I come to grips with my position, and it shocks me to spot a paparazzi still mulling around. I'd thought they'd all be inside the main event by now, so paranoia sets in. I chastise myself for the ponytail, but my uneasiness is without merit, the young man whizzes by me doing his job, taking exterior shots of the ceremony.
Parked in the doorway, I scour the standing room only crowd for my contingency. But I can't find anyone, instead I'm drawn to the press lining the walls, and the edge of the floor. I don't recall this large of a media presence at prior graduations, then again there's never been a speaker of Christian's celebrity. As we march in, I eye the stage discerning the difference, and somehow I make it to my seat without tripping on my robe, or my neighbors.
The parade of speakers, and faculty commence, and for the first time I'm jealous that Kate is the one giving the magna cum laude address. It's not an issue of intelligence, Kate is smart a cookie; she's acutely aware why she's on that stage, and not me. I'm getting a postgraduate, and a graduate degree, essentially the overachievement nullified me as a candidate for the prestigious honor. Regardless, my motives are purely covetous, I'm envious of her proximity to Christian. Then she takes to the podium, owns the stage, and all that nonsense goes out the door. She's poised, the speech is delivered with confidence, and the levity sprinkled throughout the more thought provoking texts gets the reactions she was going for. People laughed, when it was appropriate, and stayed silent when they were supposed to.
Kate collects her iPad, returning to her seat, and the chancellor takes her place at the podium. He gives Christian an arousing introduction. Standing, he buttons his jacket and to rapturous applause Christian struts to the lectern. The young lady next to me tilts her head my way. "He's so handsome. If there's someone better looking I want to see him," she whispers in my ear.
I beam with pride, and under my robe, and blue Victoria Beckham dress my chest pokes out like a peacock. "My boyfriend."
Shrugging her shoulders, she gives me a dismissive snort and unceremoniously pivots to her neighbor on her right. Which is fine with me, I want to bask in his glow, so as the applause gradually dies down I focus on the big screen. His well-coifed hair, is perfectly messy, not a strand out of place, the hue in his midnight blue suit highlights the cobalt in the depth of his intense gray eyes. The crisp white shirt, is framing his angular jaw handsomely, and the gray tie he uses to bound my hands from time to time is the subtle reminder that he his mine is setting the look off. Captivated by his beauty, grace, and stirring oration, the audience hangs on his every word. Christian concludes the speech, with words of motivation, inspiration, and aspiration for the graduates from a few of his favorite philosophers- Martin Luther King Jr., Aristotle, Sun Tzu, and Gandhi.
Under the roar of applause, and a standing ovation, he strolls back to his seat. He, crosses path with the Chancellor returning to the podium. Dr. Nance, waits for the clapping to end, and then he requests that the first department receiving their degrees remain standing. Sitting, I twiddle with my fingers, impatiently waiting for my turn. Craning my neck, I peek over the sea of black caps, and estimate it could be hours, so mentally I prepare to accept my degree from Christian. Then seemingly, in no time at all, an usher appears next to me, getting the row into the queue. The urgency of the moment paralyzing me, I berate myself for not taking practice more seriously, putting my trust in Christian's positive remarks instead.
The line moves. Once separated by nearly a thousand graduates, and as many minutes we're finally down to one person, and one moment. I have to control my heart palpations to prevent a full blown panic attack, still irritation at the young woman ahead of me lingering more than her allotted time seeps in. I want to barge in, but my courteous nature yields, and I simmer in silence. Then finally she accepts her diploma from Christian, leaving us face to face. I exhale, bury my heels into the floor, and ball my hands into fists keeping myself grounded, and from flinging my body at him. And just as I have the process worked out in my head, the Chancellor throws a wrench in it by grabbing my diploma, and stepping back with it. Mystified, I stare into Christian's face, but his expression is solemn, and then out of nowhere the beautiful metallic lilth of a piano fills the auditorium, and from something out of a dream sequence, the black velvet drapes slowly glide back revealing Gary LeVox from Rascal Flats behind a baby grand.
My knees wobble, and telegraphing my unsteadiness Christian covertly seizes my elbow. "What is this?" Volts out of my mouth just as Mr. LeVox belts out the first line of Bless The Broken Road. The crowd goes wild- they came for a graduation and a private concert breaks out. Then inexplicably the music fades into the background, and with it, in an eerily spooky kind of the way the pandemonium ceases to a murmur.
Confused, but mesmerized by the fluttering of his too long lashes, I gaze intently at him. "You always said it was the broken road that led us to each other. I thank God every day, that he led me to you. Well. You already have my heart." His eyes flit to the ceiling, and naively I stand there waiting for him to complete his infamous quote. Alerted only by the oohs, ahas does my head zooms upward. "Here are the flowers," Christian continues at the same time one colorful stem after another taps me on the nose free falling to the floor. The unimaginable number of bloom cascading from the ceiling floating to the ground must be an ethereal scene to the onlookers, because it is like a fairytale to me.
As the profusion of flowers amasses at my feet, I identify many as the wildflowers from his meadow, mixed in with the commercial blossoms of the exotic variety. The aroma is pungent, and I wonder if the perfumed scent is wafting to the audience's nostrils so they can smell that the blooms are as aromatic as they are beautiful.
Facing forward, over Christian's shoulders I make eye contact with Kate. Paler than I must be she mouths, "Oh. My. Gawd." Over, and over.
My hands are shaking uncontrollably; it is his steadiness securing them. The corners of his mouth have turned his secret smile, into a genuine one that connects with the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. The flashes from the cameras are blinding, but they're no match for the sparkle in his dancing gray orbs. Christian opens his mouth, and as if he's issued a command the raucous crowd closes theirs. If it weren't for the clicking, you'd be able to hear a pin drop. "Where do I start. The beginning is logical, but something persistently draws me to the end. You. Me. On a swing, under a big oak tree, watching our great, great, great. Great." The audience lets lose a hardy laugh. "Great-grandchildren playing in the meadow, a cool breeze kissing our cheeks, closing our eyes, and together we go to that sweet place where love never dies. Because of God in her infinite wisdom..." Through the tears, I smile at the inside joke. "knows, I couldn't roam this earth without you. You are the alpha, and omega. My world begins and ends with you." There's a collective gasp from the audience, swooning all at once.
I sniff, my heart swelling with love, and adoration. "Oh Christian." He slides one hand from mine wiping the streaming water from my cheeks, leaving the unladylike snot to trickle from my nostrils.
"My life didn't begin in earnest until you, and it will end with you. Every day, you inspire me, challenge me, and fill me with passion. You're my salvation, my truth, and the love of my life. I will love you until, and through eternity. You're loved more than the dollar signs attached to my name. More than from here and to the moon and back. More than what's defined in the dictionary as more. And know, my eyes will always light up when you walk into a room. I love you baby."
Fidgeting in panic, I blow out the air from my cheeks, as Christian reaches inside the breast pocket of his jacket. The riveted crowd erupts into choruses of screams, gasps, moans, groans, sobbing, and I even think there's are thuds from women fainting. And a few men too. It is so loud, I can hardly hear, or sense that I'm thinking at all, so much so, I miss him getting down on one knee. But the audience doesn't. In anticipation, the shrill lowers to a deafening silence that's disturbed only by the mad clicking, and flashing of the cameras.
I press my hand to my chest. "Is this happening," I whisper.
Uncharacteristically, animated flirtatiously he bobs his head up and down, and flips the top of the black box up unveiling the largest diamond I've seen in my life. "Anastasia Rose Steele, will you marry me." I stare in his vicinity, but my mind is once again blank.
The crowd comes to my rescue. Again. The hushed tone grows into a crescendo of chants of say yes, as if they're at a sporting match, or invited participants at a dinner theater. So, cobbling my fractured mind together, I bend down and take his face in my hands. "Yes," I simper. Standing upright, my hands fall away, and Christian retrieves one slipping the massive rock onto my ring finger. He then comes to his feet, and trampling the bed of flowers, he wraps his arm around me swinging me in circles.
He whispers in my ear. "Okay, I'm going to set you on your feet. We'll need to make a mad dash, before the vultures descend."
Mr. Taylor, Reynolds, and Luke rush to encircle us, and as they hurriedly escort us out of the auditorium, Gary LeVox serenades the audience, with God Bless the Broken Road, and a smile creeps across my face when the crowd joins in with him.
"Karaoke." Christian leans into me. "I didn't plan that." He's deadpan.
I giggle. "It's cute."
We reach the door to a room designated as our holding area, and as security huddles Christian tugs me to the side. "Leave your cap and gown on, I want to take them off."
I nod, and we reconvene with the team. Mr. Taylor opens the door, and we're besieged by family, and friends. Mia is bawling, Dr. Grace simpering, Elliot is wearing a goofy grin, and Mr. Gray is lurking in the background. My eyes dart around the room for Ray, but I'm distracted by Mia staggering into her brother's arms, and her mother hauling me into an embrace. "Christian that was sooo romantic. I can't." I overhear Mia saying to him. I'm too busy eavesdropping to properly digest Dr. Grace's well wishes.
"I'm glad it meant your romantic threshold," Christian responds.
"You exceeded it," Mia whimpers, and when Dr. Grace whispers something about finally being her daughter my ears perk up, and I give her my undivided attention.
"Didn't think of it that way, but you're right. I'm gaining a whole new family."
"Not so fast," Ray interrupts, "you're still my little girl."
Dr. Grace Chortles. "That she is." She loosens her grip on me. "Ray we missed you last night, but we'll get together soon to discuss the wedding-"
"That's fine with me Grace. Long as you everyone knows this is my only daughter, and I will pay for her wedding. I don't care how much money there is among the lot of you."
Dr. Grace pats dad on the forearm. "Relax Ray, I have no intentions of usurping your fatherly duties-"
Audibly he sighs. "It's not you I'm worried about," Dad quips.
"With that I'm going to leave you two, and go steal my handsome son away from the rest of my family."
Dr. Grace steps away, and Ray takes her place. "Dad I'm more than fine with a low-key wedding, but a Christian Grey affair, isn't for the faint of heart."
He smirks. "Good thing I'm military strong." I cock my head to the side. "And I'd been saving all my life for this."
I lean back in his arms. "Really." He gives me a rare full-toothed smile. "You knew didn't you?"
"Of course I did. The young man did his due diligence, he asked me for your hand, and I said yes. He's where you belong. It's where your heart is."
"What makes you so sure."
"What did he say? 'He'll light up when you walk into a rom.' He already does, and it's mutual."
"I do. He makes me happy dad. The question is, does happiness equals love." I fix the lapels on the only suit jacket he owns. "Have you seen Kate she's not in here."
"Yes. Right outside the door, she was talking to Luke."
I lay my head on his chest. "I'm not looking forward to facing him."
"Kiddo, don't go there, don't let that ugly sorted mess cloud your day. Besides, he only wants what's best for you." Ray rests the side of his face on top of my head. "Don't know if it equals, but you can't true love without it," he mumbles, and I hug him tighter.
"I hate to interrupt this father-daughter moment." Ray's head pops up, and his arms slide away. "But Mr. Steele I desperately want to congratulate your daughter," Miss Jones pleads.
"By all means." Dad relinquishes his post to Miss Jones.
"I never thought I'd live to see this day -Mr. Grey so happy. I'm like Mia, I tear up every time I think about his poignant words. Congratulations sweetheart."
"Thank you. I didn't realize you were here, but I'm glad you were able to make it."
"I came in this morning. I'd already planned to be here to support you on your graduation day, but as soon, as Jason told what was going to happen, I knew I couldn't miss it."
"That's so thoughtful-"
Elliot breaks in. "Gail, let me get in here, before Christian whisks his soon to be bride away," he says.
Chuckling Miss Jones releases me. "Here you go, Elliot."
"Can I call you sis now?"
"If I can call you bro." I mutter through my giggles.
"Why not. Seriously, I scripted this ending. I always knew you two would make it here. Now, hopefully someone else will realize it too."
Inwardly, I cringe. "Like who?" Before he can reply, Christian is lugging me out of his arms.
"Sorry, Elliot, but we have to get going. We have a small window of opportunity, before we're surrounded by paparazzi."
"Wait. Christian have you seen Lulu?"
"Baby, I don't know what she looks like, and we have to go." Christian is adamant, but I drag him to Ray.
"Dad, have you seen Lulu?"
"No. She never came to her seat."
I sigh. "She didn't make it."
"Come on, we can't worry about Lulu, we have to get going."
"Son, can I have a second."
Christian looks from his father to me, and back. "A second dad." His brows arch.
Mr. Grey, stands close to me, but he never touches me. "Make him happy." His tone is more threatening, than congratulatory, and as he strolls away, Christian approaches.
"That was quick, what did he say?"
"Congratulations."
Christian cups my hand, and Luke leads us out of the room. Mr. Taylor, and Ryan stay with the others. Unable to meet Luke's gaze, I pretend to the count the shiny tiles. Thankfully, the room's a short distance to the exit, and I don't have to utilize my quickly contrived strategy for any length of time. And because the security team is a stickler for details, the behemoth of an SUV is parked in front of it. "Congratulations, Ms. Steele," Luke says when I climb into the back seat.
"Thank you," I mutter. He then congratulates Christian, and they converse for a few seconds before Christian joins me. "More flowers. Really," I say cradling the bouquet of long stem roses.
His seatbelt clicks. "It's your fault. Get used to it. You've turned me into hearts, and flowers man."
Luke slides behind the wheel, and staring into the rearview mirror he garners his boss's attention. "Sir, T. advised me to alter course, the media is on high alert for us. I'm very familiar with Portland, so I have a back way that would get you and Miss Steele to the hotel without detection."
"Then do it," Christian says.
The engine roars to life. "Yes, sir," Luke says, and we start traveling.
"You do I know I meant figuratively, not literally."
"Baby, you throw down a gauntlet I'll pick it up."
I fidget with the eighth wonder of the world on my finger. "This is something else. Are you capable of doing anything on a small scale."
He shrugs his shoulders. "Why. Life's a stage, it deserves a production-"
"And you deliver every time."
"Thank you," he says stroking my hand. "I wanted the engagement to be as much a testament to my love as the marriage. No lingering doubts, no guessing, I wanted it out in the open that I Christian Grey, am in love with Anastasia Rose Steele."
I put my hand over his. "It was pitch perfect. Though it was grand, and in front of hordes of people, you made it so personal it felt intimate. Your attention to details amazes me, you didn't miss a thing. Gary Levoe, flowers from the meadow, and even God. So, I won."
He lifts my hand, and spins the ring around my finger. "It needs sizing." He peeks up at me. "And that was no admission. It's acceptable that God is omnipotent, why can't God be asexual too. Whoever we need him or her to be."
"Who was God to you when you were a kid?"
He tugs my arm, and the multi- colored bouquet tumbles to the floorboard. "Baby, when I look at you, I see the face of God, you're so perfect. You made me believe. I didn't know a God back then, I only know the God that put you into my life."
I rub his face, "You do know no one is perfect right, including me."
He bumps my hand away, and tipping my head back he penetrates my mouth, kissing me deeply, then softly. "The only thing that matters is that you're perfect to me," he whispers against my lips.
"Ugh," I groan, "I can't wait to take this thing off. You have some kind of schoolgirl fetish?"
"Yes."
"Oh, okay."
He chuckles. "Speaking of which, here you go Miss Steele, soon to be Mrs. Grey," Christian says proudly producing my degree from behind his back.
"Huh. Where. How. Where in the world were you hiding this thing?"
"Anastasia, why do you ask so many questions just take it."
"Thank you." Flopping back against the door panel, I hold the leather binder to my chest. "Here I thought this was the only exciting thing in store for me today. Everything makes so much sense now. My dad, the delay, the dais. How long had you been planning this?"
"Since I locked eyes with you, at the photo shoot. I knew then. It's why the electricity was so strong." He runs his hand through his hair. "I'll confess the logistics of it, took a little more finessing-" My phone beeps cutting him off.
Fumbling in panic, I wrestle with the voluminous fabric of the robe, and digging into the pocket on my dress I retrieve the phone. "It's Lulu, let me take it." Christian nods his consent. "Lulu!"
She laughs. "Contain the excitement."
I'm giddy. "I'm sorry. I have so much to tell you."
"No you don't, I saw it for myself. Congratulations."
"You did! Ray said you weren't there."
"He didn't see me. I was late so I stayed in the back, and with everyone else, I witnessed the most romantic proposal known to man. Christian Grey. You did very well for yourself. Who knew you had it in you."
"Well, I can't wait for you to meet the man. He's so much more than his persona, and he's anxious to meet you too."
"Where are you now, I'm still in town."
I cover the handset, and confer with Christian. "Today, won't be possible. We're heading back to Seattle soon. What about meeting us in Seattle tomorrow?"
"I could do that, and fly from Seatac-"
"We could do lunch. Because of the media fascination it's best we meet at Christian's place." Shaking his head, he gives me his nonverbal approval. "Call me tomorrow, and I'll give you the address," I say, and Lulu and I conclude our conversation.
"Finally. I'll get to the meet the elusive Lulu. Again I ask you, what kind of fucking name is that for a grown woman."
I ignore him. "Two of my most favorite people in the world in the same place, I can't wait."
"I can't wait either." Hovering over he undoes my seatbelt, and jerks me onto his lap. "But, it's for something else more sinister. Luke," Christian calls, and immediately a sultry voice singing, "Angel", fills the inside of the car.
"That's you."
"Yes. I'm not particularly enamored with my singing voice, but you are so here you go. It's my engagement present to you."
Tapping the annoying cap back, and I fling my arms around his neck initiating a passionate kiss. "How did I get so lucky," I say in his mouth.
Leaning back, he presses the back of his head into the leather. "How did I," he murmurs, and I lay my head on his shoulder listening to him crooning the song that started it all. Meanwhile his hand snakes under my gown, and dress stroking my inner thighs. His fingers creep between my thighs, and he rubs them over the lace panties.
Over the layers of fabric, I cup his hand. "Christian. Luke's upfront," I whisper.
"I'd hope so; someone had better be driving."
I swat him. "You know what I mean."
"Sawyer, you have earbuds."
"I do sir."
"Put them on. Second thought, find a place, and pull over."
"Sir, is everything okay?"
"It will be when you do what I say."
I grimace at his sudden aggressiveness. "Christian- "
"Mr. Grey, we're not far from the hotel. I'd advise-"
"I advise you to pull over, then get out of the fucking car."
We travel, a short distance, the SUV rolls to a stop, and Luke leaps from the car. "That wasn't necessary, we could've waited."
Christian, tugs his hand back, and suck each of the fingers that had touched me down there. "Really, that's not what your soaked panties are telling me." Grasping the sides of my waist, he sets me on the seat next to him. "Now, this is what we're going to do. You're going to hike all this material up, and sit on my dick."
He frees his erection, and I hover over it before sinking down on it inch by inch. My ass touches his pants cloaked thighs, and I finger his jacket off his shoulders sliding it down his arms. Lugging it from behind him, I toss it to the side, and as I work on his tie, Christian rocks me against him. My hand falls away, and I slap it against the window. I gyrate down on his pulsating cock as Angel plays on a loop.
The fucking car starts rocking like horny teenagers are inhabiting it. I hit it in a vain attempt to soothe my indignation. The fucking two-ton SUV is moving like a toy car. The bastard couldn't wait to get to the fucking hotel, to fuck her, he had to do it now. If I weren't wiser, I'd swear the bastard knew, and is throwing it in my face, but since I'm standing the reality is I'm locked away in her past. And that's where I'm destined to stay. Leaning back on the hood, I prop my foot on the bumper, throwing my head back, I stare into the bright sky, remembering when it was just a boy, girl, and a dog.
"Luke," Grey calls, disrupting my daydreaming, and I get my head back in the game, before biting his fucking head off.
"Yes. Mr. Grey."
"We're ready."
"Yes, Sir
Luke rounds the front of the SUV, the urge to pull the perfume from my purse is too strong. I spritz the car dousing the smell of sex. "Anastasia, Sawyer is no different than Taylor, he works for me."
"Maybe, but he's my CPO, and the thought of having sex in front of him..." My body spasms.
"We didn't fuck in front of him, he was outside. Besides I would never share your pleasure with anyone.
"Can we table this discussion, to never."
He chuckles. "Yes. Luke you can switch that off now."
"No. I want to listen to it the rest of the way."
"Anastasia fucking you to it is one thing. I'm done," Christian says out loud. I blanch, and the SUV swerves slightly.
"Sorry, there was something in the road," Luke says. I smirk, and Christian glowers.
At last we arrive at the Heathman unscathed. Luke goes to his way, and Christian and I go to his presidential suite. "Tired."
"No, the adrenaline is still pumping."
"Good." He sticks his key in the slot, and when the door swings open it reveals flower petals strewn about the foyer.
"More flowers."
"More," he whispers, and circling is hand around mine, he leads over the threshold, inside. We clear the foyer; I stop in my tracks. Sarah McLachlan, is seated behind the piano.
"Christian, what is this."
"Ask her yourself." A satisfied smirk eases across his lips, as I wobble closer to her.
Sara extends her delicate hand to me. "Let me one of the first public people to congratulate you on your engagement."
I shake her proffered hand, but I'm no communicative, this time Christian is my savior. "I explained to Sarah, how you adored her song, and she agreed to perform it for you."
"For a healthy fee." She chuckles. "Seriously, it is such an enchanting story. The romantic in me wouldn't let me say no. Plus you're an intelligent, and strong young woman. Little girls need to see that Cinderella can have brawns and beauty. We need more role models like you-"
A nervous giggle escapes me. "I don't know about that."
"You're 18, graduating with a Masters, and a Bachelors, I'm not knowledgeable enough to realize such a thing is possible," she chuckles. "And you're pursuing a third."
Her high praise, restores my vocal capabilities. "Yes. Computer Science, and English. I'm getting my Doctorate in Computer Engineering."
"You are a high achiever. And just what we need, at a time self-esteem in young girls is so important. So, congratulations on your achievements, and future success. You did very well Mr. Grey."
Christian drapes his arm over my shoulders. "You're not telling me something, I don't already know."
"I'm off my soapbox, pull up a seat," Sarah says. Christian pulls out one of the stools at the piano for me. He takes his seat, and holds my hand as Sarah plays and sings Angel.
"May you find some comfort here," she sings concluding the intimate concert. Sniffling, I clap enthusiastically. "Thank you." Looking down at her bench, she holds up an oversized envelope. "This is for you."
"Me."
"Yes," she says, "open it." I flip the flap, and pull out the lyrics to Angel. "It's the original. And I want you to have it."
"I can't"
She stands up. "You can. And you will."
Christian takes her hand. "What a generous gift. Thank you Sarah," Christian says assisting her from behind the piano. I slide down from my perch, and hug her neck.
"I trust you'll take care of it," she whispers.
"I will," I say. We part and Christian accompanies her to the door.
"Well, that rendition was so much better than mine."
"Not to me. Yours will always be my favorite." He plucks the sealed page from my hand. "We're going have to open a music studio, if we get anymore songs given to us."
Placing the lyrics on top of the piano," he laughs. "Hungry?"
"Why do I think that's a trick question. Yes."
"You're lying, but thank you-"
"I'm really not, I'm famished."
"Now, that's music to my ears. We're leaving shortly for the big engagement dinner, but I wanted us to have some alone time. Gail, planned a picnic lunch for us."
He loops his arm, I thread mine through it, and he escorts me to the middle of the room. Always the gentleman, Christian aids me to the checkered blanket, and then he lowers himself. Opening the wicker basket, we partake in the cheeses, fruit, and bread washing it all down with wine for him, and the sparkling cider from the French Laundry for me.
Carefully, setting my glass down, I gather a hand full of rose petals. "Mr. Grey, I think you've forgotten something," I purr letting the petals trickle to the blanket.
He sets his glass on the table positioned behind him. "What?"
"My cap, and gown. I'm still wearing it."
"Then I'd better do my job." He comes to his feet.
I slap my hand in his, and when I'm standing I sway my hips as I walk to the end of the piano picking up my purse removing my phone. Finding iTunes, I locate Lady Marmalade, and hit play. "Or maybe I will." I sashay to the room, as Patti Labelle belts out, hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister...
Luke POV
Kate ambushes me. "Luke."
I dodge her, just missing her grasp. "Not now Kate," I quip continuing down the hallway.
"Fuck you. Pathetic asshole," she laments
Taylor grips me on the back of my shoulder. "I won't ask what's that all about."
I shove the door to our command center open. "What the fuck T. You lure me back here to put her under my charge. And you don't include me in on the fucking plan-"
"Have you ruined the surprise. You and Ana are thick as thieves."
"Make up your Taylor, one minute you're accusing me of wanting to fuck her, and the next criticizing me for being her best buddy."
"You're the one who needs to make up his mind, in the meantime get your ass to the holding room, get Mr. Grey, and Miss Steele to the car and the hell out of here. Ryan, and I will handle the family."
"I thought you were transporting them back to the hotel."
"I reassessed the situation, and determined can best served in this capacity." He pats my chest. "I don't know what Ms. Kavanagh was offering back there, but I suggest you take her up on it."
He exits, and I pace in place. Stopping in front of the door, I bang the back of my head against it letting the unwelcomed tears stream down my face, instead of screaming her name out like a banshee.
Lulu POV
I get the attention of a giddy young woman. "Excuse me. Why the commotion? I need to get in there."
"Sorry lady, you're late, the commencement is over, but you're in time for..." Christian's voice comes over the intercom, and I desert the young woman elbowing my way through the people huddled in the doorway. "Get out of my way, let me see." If my lying eyes weren't showing me the truth, I wouldn't believe it in print. But Christian Grey, of all the men in the world is espousing the virtues of love, and like everyone else in attendance I'm spellbound. His words are eloquent, romantic, and repulsively, heartfelt. I'm so mesmerized by him; the woman is secondary. Then it dawns on me, she's one of the graduates. My mind immediately catalogues my conversations with Snow. And as I come to terms with the possibility, punching me in the gut it is her name he calls.
Frozen in place, I behold him getting down on one knee on the bed of flower at her feet, and the cup I'm holding slips from my hand dropping to the floor.
The water splatters everywhere. Leaping back people shout obscenities at me but they can't drown out his words. Nearly slipping on the small puddle, backpedaling, I limp out of the abusive crowd, desperate to be anywhere but in my own skin. Somehow I make it to a column, out of sight of prying eyes, and I crumble to the floor. The life drains from me as I come to terms with the worst thing to happen to me in my lifetime. The man I love, and the little girl I love, love each other. Where does that leave me?
