Chapter 54 – Ella

'Welcome home,' Joe said as I kicked the front door closed of our new flat. As I went to find the car parking place for the flat in the underground heated car park, he went upstairs to turn on the water and electricity or whatever manly stuff he wanted to do. It took me about five minutes to drive my way through the labyrinth that was the underground carpark and find the allocated spots for the two bedroom flat.

I had to admit the flat Maui had picked for Joe, and then added my name to the paperwork agreement, was absolutely amazing. It would be perfect. When you opened the door, there was a relatively long hallway, with hooks on one side. It then opened out to the right, with a bookcake. The bathroom was to the left, the two bedrooms to the right. If you kept following the hallway it led into an open plan lounge with the kitchen tucked into the left. It sat looking over a park, which had young children playing on the climbing frame and dog walkers.

Joe suddenly appeared in the hallway in front of me, grinning at me. I ran forwards and hugged him, Joe picking me up and spinning around as he buried his head into my shoulder, kissing my neck before he put me down.

'This is too surreal,' He whispered, looking around. 'Like this... this is all ours now.'

'That's kind of the thing about buying a flat,' I mumbled and he grinned down at me before kissing me softly.

'Come on, then, let's make this house a home.'

'Alright Mr. Homebase Advert Man.'

'Ella, can you please put something more on?' Xav practically begged of me.

'What's wrong with what I'm wearing?'

'You are literally in a pair of your boyfriends boxers and a baggy shirt – get changed.' Zed hissed at me and I put my hand of my hip, squinting at him. 'Nice Calvin Klein's though, mate,' He added as a side comment to Joe who just looked mildly confused.

'Er, they're mine.'

'They're men's.'

'Did... did you live with me for fifteen odd years or no? Do I care if they're men's or not?' I argued back as Joe continued to watch me.

'No, but it's weird now.'

'Why is it weird now?' I argued back with my younger brothers, plonking myself down on the settee that had just arrived and sinking into it almost immediately. Joe mumbled something about making a cuppa and I knew exactly why. He didn't trust himself not to mention the baby when I was literally in just a shirt and a pair of boxers. Near enough all the furniture had arrived – apart from the stuff that was due to come tomorrow afternoon after the ultrasound. I had got changed into my version of pyjamas – a pair of Joe's old boxers (not that I'd tell my brothers they were Joe's) – and a baggy old shirt. This was exactly what I would wear if I was at home in Colorado (apart from they'd be my boxers and not Joe's) but both of them were kicking off about it.

'We're back!' Crystal shouted as she came back through the door that was on the latch, and I could hear both them and Sky taking off their shoes, the paper bags from the drive through KFC crunching in their hand.

'We got lots of chicken – I am loving where Ella is going with this.' Sky walked through.

'Pyjamas already? It's only seven.' Crystal retorted, walking straight into the kitchen with the food, saying something to Joe and he just nodded. I frowned wondering why they were still having private words about me.

'It's always pyjamas.'

'Yeah, we can't argue with that logic after Cornwall.' Sky joked back, sitting down beside me. I grinned at her but immediately felt bad for hiding the baby around her.

Here's the truth; I really didn't have many friends when I was in high school. I mean, everyone there was nice to me and I had people to always hang around with and was invited to all the parties and everything but I didn't have any friends who really knew me. Everyone thought I was seventeen just turned eighteen an Yves' twin. I knew the lie was to protect me but I could never be me. I knew that I couldn't live these lies forever so the second high school was over for me, I would have to ditch so many people so I could be... well... me again. I was lucky in the fact Zed and I were always in the same year, and in some of the same classes so I could hide in the corner with him and get away with it. Other lessons, not so much. So I had to pretend I was too cool for the game but was more or less always intrigued by the subjects I was doing. Also, we managed to play on my depression and anxiety diagnosis so if I ever felt uncomfortable I could hide in the library, or in the corner of the Auditorium stage and self teach myself the syllabus – something I took advantage of. That was until Sky joined. I remember it clearly, the first lesson she had with me.

It was just after summer and we had to do a mind map of all the things we could remember from the summer work. I was in a group with Tina and Zoe. I got on well with them and they were lovely back and they were into the same arty things that I was but they still thought I was sixteen at the time, despite the fact I was nineteen. Thankfully, having chubby cheeks and an all too kiddish appearance played in the way of the lie. But Tina and Zoe didn't do the summer work and asked if I did. Of course I did. Self teaching myself psychology? Hello – totally up my ally. So I took the A3 sheet of paper, stuck my headphones in and started working on the mind map.

I was also a massive slut for stationary and had brought some new colouring pencils and writing pens and was now drawing my mind map listing off names and studies for each subsection. Institutional aggression; importation model states that you gain aggressive behaviour from outside world and take it into prison as appose to the deprivational model which assumed you gained your aggressive tendencies from deprivation from basic human rights including liberty, autonomy, goods and services and healthcare. That was Sykes proposal anyway. I was writing down all the evidence against and for each evidence – the gang members studies when I was kicked under the table. I finished the letter I was on, pulling out one of my headphones simultaneously telekinetically turning down the volume as I looked up and Sky had just appeared. I frowned at her, then looked at the clock behind where I was so busy writing for fifteen minutes I didn't even notice her arrival. I then frowned back as I introduced myself but busied myself writing after, too awkward to apologise for being rude.

I thought she'd be no one. Now look at her.

After Zed realised he was her Soulfinder, they grew together pretty fast. I never wanted to tell her about my past so I asked Zed too explain briefly, but not long after I was forced to tell her. She seemed okay, understanding the lie that was my life and stood by it. She even made twin jokes when she was around Yves and I, but when we were at home she was completely different and saw me as a kind of older sister to her. She was my only true friend in high school years.

'Joe, can I talk to you for a second?' I asked, nodding towards the sliding doors leading to the balcony. He frowned.

'What's up? You want the door open?' He asked confused as I rolled my eyes at him, giving him the sideways look. 'Oh, that makes sense now.' He said grabbing the key for the balcony. We were fully aware that everyone was watching us as he unlocked the balcony door, opening it so we could shimmy on out before closing the door on us.

'Face out so they can't lip read.' I simply said, leaning on the balcony railing and looking across the park which now had long shadows casted by the dying sun.

'What's up? Are you okay?' He asked, leaning next to me so our sides were touching.

'Can I tell Sky? About the baby?'

'You know you're not meant to tell anyone before your first scan, Ella.' He said back, looking at me sideways.

'I know I'm not meant to but this is huge, Joe. Like... huge. I keep watching my words to make sure I don't say anything – I nearly spilled it in front of Michael yesterday when you were there and we know how disasterous that could have been. Look, it's only Sky. I'll make sure she won't tell anyone. Please, Joe, I just want to know if my family will be okay with it because I really am unsure.'

Joe looked over at me, hugging me to his side.

'You really are scared aren't you?'

'Terrified, Joe. I don't want my brothers to hate you and my parents as well and I don't want everyone to hate the baby and I know it's irrational but you don't know the amount of times Mum has talked down about people having kids before they're twenty five as it ruins their life and they don't have any freedom any more, even though she had Trace when she was nineteen but it's different. You don't know what my Mum thinks of people who don't really have a career and have kids –' I rambled on, getting so worked up Joe literally had to grab my arms to hug me.

'Jeez, Ella, it's alright calm down. I know your parents will be fine with the baby when they find out. They'll be slightly confused and want to know when, just like we were, but they will love and support you like they do now and they will cherish the baby to pieces.' Joe said with a level of security that acted as a back up net. I could only guess he had seen the future and knew it would all work out alright. 'Okay, you can tell Sky if it makes you comfortable.'

'Thanks,' I muttered leaning into him. I steeled myself realising my hands were shaking.

'Do you want me to stay?'

'Yeah, you're the Dad you're staying right here.' I breathed slowly, before turning around and opening the door.

'Sky? When is the new graduation date? I know it was meant to be in like two weeks but they moved it because of the fire?' The school auditorium had caught on fire, so they did a tiny graduation ceremony but decided to make a big fuss out of getting us all graduated properly when the new auditorium - and musical performance block – was built.

'Why don't you ask me?' Zed protested.

'Like you know,' I argued back, grinning.

'Er... February I think?' Sky said.

'I literally can't hear you, come out here.' I said, turning my back again. I sighed closing my eyes. Oh God.

'I think it's February 18th, I think.'

'Oh, okay. That's not why I wanted you out here, though. I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to keep a secret just for a few weeks if that.' I said and she frowned at me.

'Are you okay? You are terrified.' She whispered.

'Turn around and face the park so they can't lip read,' I said and she followed me instructions. Joe put his arm around my waist, sturding my shaking body. Just come out and say it. But I couldn't. It was like a fake lie, a secretive lie that I made and was just between Joe and I but now we had to tell people my brain couldn't allow me. I started crying. Joe hugged me even closer, kissing my head as Sky looked over and hugged me too.

'What's wrong, Ella?' Sky asked, 'Why are you so scared.'

'I'm pregnant, Sky,' I whispered and she frowned. 'I'm pregnant.' I said a tiny bit louder and she took a step back. I knew she'd hate me. I turned around into Joe's chest and started crying, thankful someone in our flat had the brilliant idea to close the blinds. Genius. They couldn't see me having a breakdown.

'Ella?' Sky whispered as I carried on crying, Joe rubbing his hands up and down my spine trying to calm me down. 'Why is she crying?'

'She's scared you'll hate her,' Joe simply said, as I forced my tears to stop. 'Everything is a bit too much for her at the moment,'

'She's not lying?'

'You can tell when she's lying, right?' Joe said over the top of my head.

'Yes,'

'Ella is pregnant. We don't know how far along but we're guessing about twelve weeks. We think it happened at the party, which is why it's about three and a half months along, but if it didn't and happened later it would only be a few weeks, since we got down to the safe house. She's getting the scan done tomorrow to see if everything is okay which i'm sure it will be. She's not lying.' Joe explained as I calmed myself down.

'You're both not lying, you're actually pregnant.' Sky said, addressing the last bit to me as I wiped away another tear nodding. She then launched herself at me, hugging me tightly.

'Congratulations. I really don't know what to say. I have no idea. I really didn't have an idea. But I'm so happy for you, Ella. And you too, Joe,' Sky added. 'Where are you two going to live now?'

'We don't know yet –we haven't discussed plans that far ahead.' Joe explained. 'Honestly, we haven't done any planning at all. Ella's refusing to plan anything until we get the all clear tomorrow.'

'Ella can also hear you,' I mumbled as Sky let go of me.

'Does anyone else know?'

'No, just us two and you. And Jason.' I muttered.

'No pressure to keep it a secret – you're going to tell everyone tomorrow, though?' Sky questioned as we saw the blinds twitch slightly where someone moved them. Probably to check we were still okay and hadn't all made a sudden run for it.

'Er, you might have to keep it a secret for a bit longer than a few hours.' I said to her and even Joe gave me a sideways look. 'I was hoping to tell everyone when we go to Colorado, all in one hit.'

'Ella, you can't fly for another two weeks hun,' Joe whispered to me, rubbing my waist. 'Can you hold the secret for that long? Isn't it better to just tell people,' He mumbled, and I shrugged.

'I don't exactly want to tell everyone over the phone, and you all go back tomorrow morning don't you? You couldn't stay over for too long, you all have other commitments.' I said looking up at Joe who just looked down.

'You do whatever you feel comfortable with,' Joe simply said.

'So I can't tell anyone for two weeks until you're over,'

'Sorry.'

'It's fine... i'lll work something out to keep me shut up. But seriously you two, congratulations. You are so cute together!' Sky squealed as I looked up at Joe, grinning as he kissed me.

The rest of the night went pretty fast, with us six eating our KFC, watching games and just having a good conversation and catch up. I was so relieved when Zed and Xav took me outside for a second (even though I panicked they knew about the baby but thankfully, neither of them were any wiser) and told me they actually really liked Joe and didn't mind me and him being together, but they were going to continue to pretend they were uneasy with him so he doesn't take advantage. I frowned at them when they said he could take advantage. Like Joe would do such a thing, but I let them get away with it to make them more comfortable about everything. Everyone left at around half ten saying they had a stupidly early flight and needed to pack before going to bed and I told them when the flights were booked for us to go over there. We all hugged and everything like we normally did and we were left alone in our flat for the first time for our first night alone.

'I think your brothers hate me.' Joe simply mumbled.

'Nah, they're fine with you don't worry.' I said walking back over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

'You sure?'

'Of course. Just give them all time – they're stupidly over protective.'

'But you literally said they're the ones that would be quickest to like me! I have no hope when it comes to Vick do I?' Joe protested, tickling my waist.

'Honestly, no but if he starts to be a dick I can argue with him and get away with it. And if he dares to be a dick to you I will slap him.'

'Someone's over protective,' Joe whispered, kissing the top of my nose.

'Yeah, well.' I said back and she shook his head at me.

'Come on, we have an early start tomorrow for your scan,'

'I'm so scared.'

'Everything will be fine, Ella, don't worry.' Joe said, picking me up bridal style as I laughed to carry me into the bedroom as I showed no signs of shifting at all.