Not Listening

By TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek or anything else I may reference herein. No profit is being made nor is any infringement intended.

Chapter Fifty-Three.

Part One: Derek.

Casey was working on some kind of top-secret ASL project that she would not let him know about. Even tickling didn't get her to spill her guts.

"Tell me" he signed.

She shook her head.

"You know you want to tell me," he signed. "You can't keep a secret. You're bursting to tell me."

"Says you."

"What's the title?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she signed.

"It's a song, right?" he signed. "It's always a song." She pretended to be interested in the cartoons Marti was watching.

Both Sam and Ralph had been made to sign a song at least once. Ralph had been his typical Ralphy self, going with The White Stripes' "Hello Operator," which Derek found out didn't really have a lot of lyrics (Ralph was smarter than he looked.) Sam had ended up with a song called "Save Tonight." This was back around grade six, and when their English teacher had gotten wind of it, they'd both been asked to do the songs in school, too. Teachers always ate this stuff up, and, so did grade six girls. Ralph knew this, but Sam had been so embarrassed and uptight about it that Derek still teased him years later.

Come to think of it, maybe that was why Casey wouldn't tell him anything, because Sam told her the story. But Casey had to know that he wouldn't tease her...more than usual.

He wanted to let it go. He knew he'd find out eventually, but he still wasn't the most patient of creatures. Even the fact that he had work to do of his own, planning something for Casey's birthday, for example. That should have kept him occupied, especially since he only had a few weeks.

But it was like he just had to know what she was up to.

Part Two: Casey.

It was a song. Pretty much the only reason she wouldn't tell Derek was that she kept changing her mind. Sheldon said she'd probably change her mind right until the day of her final. He said that at the end of a really long brainstorming session at his place.

Sheldon, after a while, had taken to suggesting songs with the word "crazy" in the title. "Crazy," "Crazy for You" "(You Drive Me) Crazy." Up till that point, Casey hadn't realized there were so many of those, but it seemed like he'd tossed every possible one her way.

"Trying to say something, Schlep?" Casey said.

"Was that too subtle for you?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Point taken," she said. "I think we have a shortlist."

"A shortlist," Sheldon said to Emily.

"You do the same thing," Emily said.

"I do not."

"Case? Ask Sheldon about how he decides on a Karaoke song," Emily said. Sheldon continued to deny all knowledge of what she was talking about, but Casey, who'd been putting her laptop away, paused and sat down again.

"Do tell," she said.

"He starts out slow. Last time, he was all 'Babe? Is this a Linkin Park kind of a day? Or Matchbox Twenty?'"

"Em," Sheldon said.

"So I said, 'Go with the Matchbox,' and he said, 'Ooh! They have Jason Mraz!' And then he found the Led Zeppelin and three hours later, as the manager's trying to kick us out..."

Casey giggled.

"Why do you put up with me?" Sheldon asked, drily.

"Cuz you're good in bed," Emily deadpanned. Casey catapulted off the couch.

"What?" she squeaked.

"I'm kidding," Emily said.

"Hey!" Sheldon said.

"He's great in bed," Emily clarified.

"Thank you," Sheldon said.

"I'm going home now," Casey said, her face getting hot. She zipped her bag hastily, getting some papers stuck in the zipper, but that hardly mattered, nor did the fact that she buttoned her coat wrong and skidded on the floor in the foyer. Based on their mingled laughter, Casey assumed that they were most likely just messing with her, but the mental image was not something that Casey wanted stored in her long-term memory if she could avoid it.

On the way home, she put on her headphones and tried to concentrate on the songs she'd been leaning toward.

She really wanted to do Rilo Kiley's "I Never" for example, but decided that she might have to rule it out because repeating the sign for "never," which looked like drawing a question mark with an open hand, would look awkward, like swatting a really energetic fly or conducting an orchestra that refused to pay attention. So that was out.

Then there was that old song, "Truly, Madly, Deeply." Sappy as it was, she'd always loved it and thought it would look good signed. But Derek would mock her endlessly. So that one was out, too.

It took several days of bouncing back and forth between songs before she settled on one. And it was one that she really should have thought of right away.

Then the real work began.

Part Three: Emily.

She had been kidding about her and Sheldon, for the record. She shouldn't have done it, but it was just so much fun when Casey got all buggy-eyed.

"Did you see that?" Sheldon asked, after Casey had gone.

"Yep," Emily said. "Who knew she could run so fast?"

"Still," Sheldon said. "I feel really bad lying to her like that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he said. "I pride myself on my integrity, Squirrel. I don't like to be party to an untruth."

"So you're not good in bed?"

"I didn't say that," he said. "I just think that for you to say that I am, in fact, good in bed is pure speculation on your part at this point in time."

"Get to the point, Sandy Cohen."

"For you to say what you said without knowing for sure that it is true is patently unethical," he began. "And to remedy this, the only thing would be for me to be allowed to prove just how good in bed I really am, so that the next time the subject comes up, you'd be able to swear under oath..." She giggled, making him go on for a little bit, throwing in a heretofore here and an inasmuch there, until she'd curled into a ball on the rug next to him, holding her sides.

Finally, she put her hand over his mouth. "I think I'm ready to render judgment."

"Hmm," he said, when she took her hand away. "I didn't even get to make my closing argument. That can't be a good sign. Can I appeal?" He kissed the inside of her wrist.

"You can try," she said.

"Would you like to know how I plead?"

"On your knees?"

"Ooh, kinky," he said. She hit him with a throw pillow.

"What is the matter with you?" she asked. "You never talk like this."

"My filter's off," he said.

"No kidding," she said. She kind of liked it, actually.

"It's what happens when I spend long periods of time working with your friend Persnickety McGee."

"Then the three of us should hang out more often," Emily teased. "Or better yet, we could get Derek on board, then double date!"

Sheldon's forehead wrinkled. "How bout not?"

"Why?"

"Because I like it when it's just you and me," Sheldon said, leaning in to kiss her.

Part Three: Marti.

Smerek was funny. He was running around trying to find something to surprise Casey for her birthday when she kept saying she didn't like to be surprised. And she was trying to surprise him with that song by that guy with the really deep voice, but he didn't wanna wait to be surprised either. Marti, Edwin and Lizzie were having the best time watching them.

Casey wouldn't let anyone in the house see her practice, because she thought they'd tell, but Marti'd heard the song playing on her radio and even heard Casey sing the song around the house and Casey had no idea.

(Hehe!)

And Marti could totally tell Derek what he wanted to know and Casey what she wanted to know but what fun would that be? It was like really early on Christmas when Marti and Edwin went hunting for presents. They mostly wanted to know that they were there, that Santa came. They could wait till the 'rents got up to actually open them. And that was why she knew that Smerek didn't really want to know what song Casey was doing. It was just fun to try to get Casey to slip up.

And he liked to tickle her.

Casey was a little different. She wanted to know stuff. She liked little surprises, like when Smerek gave her flowers that time, but she didn't like it when it seemed like Smerek was really up to something.

Marti didn't get tired of it, even after Lizzie and Edwin did.

It was kinda funny when Liz and Ed got sick of watching at the same time and went off to play video games together, and Marti sat on the window seat and watched them for a while.

Part Four: Edwin.

Early on the Saturday morning before Casey's birthday, Edwin caught Derek typing furiously at his computer.

Ed had been on his way back from the bathroom and heard the sound of angry tippity-tapping, so he stopped and peeked into Derek's room just in time to see him flip the bird at his monitor.

When Derek looked up, Edwin signed "What's your problem?"

"Relay call," Derek signed.

"Someone hang up on you?"

"Three times," Derek signed. It happened every so often. Whenever Derek made a phone call to someone he couldn't text, he had to use a relay service where he typed whatever he wanted to say and an operator spoke for him. It worked perfectly well when he wanted to order takeout, but some people still hung up on him because they thought he was a telemarketer.

"Who was it?"

"That bookstore on Main," Derek signed. "Their website's down, so I tried to call, but they suck, so I guess I'm going to Barnes and Noble."

Edwin nodded.

"Wanna come?" Edwin shrugged, went upstairs to change out of his usually Saturday morning uniform (sweatpants, t-shirt with corn flakes stuck to the collar) into something more presentable.

He didn't have to ask Derek what he was looking for. Casey's birthday was on Wednesday.

Derek said that he usually did his best work under pressure, and he looked pretty darn pressured. Edwin predicted that he'd end up doing his fair share of interpreting in exchange for the trip to the mall. Derek was all about independence but he was also running out of time.

I'd better get some pizza out of this, Edwin thought as he climbed into the Prince.

After rejecting the journals, games, CDs and little wooden artist models (Edwin could never resist playing with the articulated wooden hand.) Derek seemed to be at a loss.

"Gift card?"

"She would kick my ass if I gave her a gift card," Derek signed. Then he picked up a box of magnetic poetry, made a "meh" face and put it back down.

"Jewelry?" Derek signed, after he put down a large, heavy looking bookend.

They went to the kiosk near the furniture store first. Edwin picked up a huge cross and dropped it, pretending that it burned him. The girl behind the counter laughed, and seeing an opportunity, he winked at her. Derek rolled his eyes; Edwin, convinced that his older brother was just jealous, (not everybody could be as charming, as ruggedly handsome as Ed, after all), raised an eyebrow.

"So, what's your name?" Edwin asked.

"Brianna," the girl said, smiling at him.

"I'm Edwin," he said. "I wonder if you could help me with something,"

"What's that?"

"I seem to have lost my number..."

"And you wanna borrow mine?" she asked, just going with it.

"You see?" Edwin said, impressed. "You're reading my mind! We're on the same wavelength. We have a real connection, here, you and me!"

"Uh, yeah," she said.

"Too much?" Edwin asked.

"Just a little," she said. "But you're really cute. You're gonna be so much trouble in a couple of years."

"So they tell me," Edwin said. He turned to Derek, who was shaking his head at him. But Edwin could tell he wanted to laugh.

"I'm awesome," Edwin signed. "She said I'm cute."

"Awesome," Derek signed a little bigger than Edwin had, making it look sarcastic. Then he made a twisting motion with his thumb and forefinger at the space between his eyes, calling him a nerd, but then making a move to mess up his hair, which Ed dodged expertly.

"This is my stalker," Edwin said, making the sign for "creep" so that Derek would move to smack him again. This was how they showed affection.

"Ignore my little brother," Derek said. "I always do."

Brianna nodded at him, wide eyed.

"It's my girlfriend's birthday this week," Derek said, when it became clear that Brianna was just going to stare at him and not say anything. "And I was hoping to find something here."

"Um, sure," Brianna said. "Sure. I might have just the thing." She reached under the counter and pulled out some bracelets and some necklaces. They were engraved.

"We have Shakespeare," she said, showing Derek a few necklaces, then she pulled out a tray of bracelets.

"This one has a Helen Keller quote," Brianna chirped. Edwin looked over Derek's shoulder. It had Braille on it, too. Derek smiled and asked what else she had.

Three stores and one more kiosk later, Derek had what he needed for Casey. They climbed back into the Prince exhausted.

Before he put the key in the ignition, Derek turned to Edwin.

"Braille?" he signed. Edwin laughed. Edwin hadn't thought it was that funny at the time. He'd heard too many stories of Deaf people being given Braille menus in restaurants or, failing that, being asked if they wanted a wheelchair. People were weird.

And even though Brianna hadn't done it that day, people were always directing questions to Edwin and not to Derek when they were together, like Derek couldn't possibly follow what they said. Derek was always pretty cool about it, at least until they got out of sight of whoever had offended him so he could rant. This made Derek paranoid; Edwin could feel it. And that made Edwin paranoid on his behalf.

What he had wanted to do was to tell her, talking veeerrrry slooowwwly to make sure that this girl would understand, that sighted Deaf people did not generally use Braille, but Derek had put a hand on his arm, stopping him and gently getting her to put that tray away.

They laughed for a good minute, then Derek started the car.

Before he pulled out of the parking space, Derek turned to Edwin.

"Think she'll hit me?" Derek signed.

"Definitely," Edwin signed. She'd probably hit him no matter what. That was how they showed affection (when they weren't making out, that was). But she was really going to hit him when she saw this.

TBC

A/N: I'm hoping that some of the fluff herein will make up for how long I've kept you guys waiting. :)