(Third person Pov)

"That was weird" Dean remarked after Holly went in the bathroom

"Yeah, but she's been going through a lot Dean" Sam said

"Yeah, I guess" Dean said, he didn't want to say it but it reminded him of the day he made the the deal, but thats impossible.

An unusual amount of time passed, normally Holly's a jump in jump out type of person Dean thought

"Shes been in there awhile" Dean said

"Yeah, thats weird" Sam said

"You don't think-" Dean started as Conor popped up

"Where is she?!" Conor yelled

"What?!" Sam asked

"Where's Holly?!" Conor yelled

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled

He ran over and kicked the bathroom door open, Sam turned the water off

"She's gone" Sam stated the obvious

"128 Denmark Street" Dean said holding up the paper

"Lets go" Conor grabbed them and teleported.

The lights of the ambulance and police cars were bright

The boys didn't care about the nausea of teleporting they ran as fast as they could to the gathered crowd of people

"Holly!" Sam yelled

They were stopped by a few cops

"You have to stay back!" One of them yelled

"Holly! Thats our sister!" Dean yelled pushing past the cop and running to the crowd of people. He froze, Holly was on a stretcher unconscious being loaded into the ambulance, she was beaten and bloody, he was barely able to recognized her.

"What happened!" Sam yelled

"Sir please step back!" The paramedic ordered

"She's our sister" Dean said

"What happened?!" Dean asked

"It looks like she was jumped and beat bad, we wont know the full extent of her injuries until we get her to the hospital" the paramedic said

"Which hospital?" Sam asked

"Saint Peters" He said closing the door, the ambulance turned on its sirens and sped off

"We need to go now!" Dean said they got the impala and sped to the hospital

The drive was pure silence, all three would occasionally share worried glances.

The boys ran into the ER

"Our sister she was brought in not that long ago!" Sam said frantically to the receptionist

"You need to fill out this paperwork" she said handing Dean the clip board and looking at them with sympathy

"We don't have time for your damn paper work! Just tell us what the hell is going on!" Dean said slamming the clipboard down

"Dean" Sam said trying to calm him down though he was pretty close to becoming unhinged as well

"Sir I am really really sorry, I wish I could tell you more but we don't know yet. They found signs of internal bleeding and a punctured lung. Your sister is in surgery and as soon as I hear more you'll be the first to know. But now all we can do is wait and in the meantime I need this paper work filled out" She said levelly

Sam picked up the clip board and sat in the waiting room with Dean and Conor

Dean was on edge, they all were. The walls were white, the floor tiles were white, everything was white and it only made them more anxious.

(Dean POV)

The lady on the other side of the room is looking at me like i'm crazy, if I tap my foot anymore it might make a whole in the ground. How could I let this happen! I know better! I know her better! I should've known something was up! It's my job to protect her. I swear when I find out who did this they're dead!

(Sam's POV)

She has to be okay, she needs to pull through! I can't believe this happened! How did this happen?

(Conor's POV)

I know I shouldn't have left! It was a mistake leaving!

Hours of paper work being filled out and nervous tapping passed a doctor finally walked out. The boys jumped to their feet

"How is she?" Conor beat the them to the question

"We found severe internal bleeding, multiple cracked ribs one of them managed to puncture her left lung, and there are signs of brain trauma. She's stable for now...i'm sorry to say this but due to the extent of her injuries she's in a deep state of comatose" the doctor said

"What?" Sam said in disbelief

"There has to be something you can do!" Dean said

"I'm sorry I have to look at this from a doctor's view. It's up to her now I can't guarantee she'll come out if it. On a more positive note we weren't expecting her to make it off the operating table, she's exceeded our expectations so far. It's a miracle she's still holding on. As I doctor I have to look at things factually. But i'm telling you three to have faith. You're sister's a fighter" he said

"Thank you doctor" Sam said, they headed into the room.

(Holly's POV)

An annoying beeping woke me. I sat up, an intense headache hit me. I looked around to see pale walls and a few chairs. Yup i'm in a hospital room, oh no the boys are gonna kill me. But i'm going to fucking kill Ruby, I want to be the one to send her smoking back to hell and watch her beg

As if in cue Sam, Dean, and Conor walked in.

"Hey there" I said, nobody even responded. Are they really that mad?

"Look i'm not sorry" I said, it's like they weren't even acknowledging my presence

Conor walked over and was doing something to the bed, Dean was pacing. Sam was sitting on a chair next to me, he looks like he's been crying. Actually they all do

"Whats going on? Why isn't it working?!" Dean yelled angrily

"I don't know" Conor said shocked, taking a step back

"Whats happening?" I asked. Again nobody answered me

"What do you mean you don't know?" Sam asked, his tone almost matching Dean's

"Just heal her god dammit you have before!" Dean yelled

"Guys!" I yelled

"It's different, I don't know it's like she found a way to block me out" Conor said

"It's your job to protect her! What the hell!" Dean yelled

"Guys!" I yelled again

"Dean" Sam said

"No! He's right! If I would've known this would happen I would've never left!" Conor yelled

"Stop it!" I yelled, the room door slammed shut, they all stopped talking and looked at me

"Holy shit did I do that?" I asked

"Do you think-" Sam started

"Dean, Sam?" I asked they were still looking at me in shock

"I don't know how but she's blocking me from healing or seeing her" Conor said

"I'm right here" I said, I stood up. Nobody even said anything...unless, I turned around to see myself laying in the bed.

"Oh my god" I took a step back

I barely even recognized myself my face was all bruised and swollen. Oh my god. I have to get out of here, I backed out of the room and ran until I was outside. A guy walked right through me, I can only best describe the feeling as empty. I took a deep breath. What am I going to do...Maybe this is better

I know this probably sounds selfish but I can't go back. Its time I face the inevitable that if I go back i'll run myself to the ground trying to save Dean, even though I know its hopeless. That wont stop me from trying. Its a fact that I cant live without Dean and I cant live seeing Sam tear himself up. I can't do this, maybe it'll be easier this way.

I guess it's just a waiting game now, by the looks of it i'm not recovering anytime soon.

(Third person POV)

"Dean do you really think-" Sam started

"I don't know" Dean answered

"The only reason I can't heal her is because she doesn't want to be healed, she's blocking me out" Conor said

"What? Why would she do that?" Sam asked, Conor sighed

"Because she can't handle, thats why. You know what she told me, that she would do anything to trade places with Dean" Conor said

"She knows she can't handle it if one of you are gone, she thinks you two can move on without her" Conor admitted

"What?! No!" Sam said

"Why would she think that?" Dean sighed pinching the bridge of his nose

"Well for one shes the most stubborn and selfless person i've ever met, she's a Winchester, and you two are all she has, she'd give anything for you two...even her life. Just as you would for her" Conor said

"We need to talk to her" Sam said sorrowfully

"She's not here" Conor said

"How do you know" Dean asked

"I can't feel her" Conor answered

(Holly's POV)

When I noticed Conor was gone I walked into the room. I can't risk going in when he's there, he'd know I was in the room.

Sam left to get Coffee, Dean was the only one in the room. I stood in the doorway as Dean reached over to the hospital bed and grabbed my hand in both of his.

"Hey Holls" He said, his voice slightly cracking

"Uh if you can hear me. You have to hold on, Holly i'm begging you please I can't do this without you" he cried and wiped the tears from his eyes

"I need you Holly, It's not fair okay?! I was supposed to be the one dyeing not you. I need you to hang on. God please, Kiddo I love you" he wiped his eyes again

"I don't know who did this but when I

find them they're dead" He whispered

I ran out the door to see Sam stand outside with tears in his eyes, he heard the whole thing.

After having a few breakdowns yesterday I managed to pull myself together and go back in the room today

I sat in the chair between the boys they haven't gotten sleep the past fee nights, I can tell. I'm not looking much better either apparently i've been getting worse everyday and the doctors can't figure out why.

"Guys, don't do this" I said looking between them

"I love you two, thats why i'm doing this, but please. I'm ready, you have to let me go...please let me go" I cried

I heard someone walk in, I looked up. It was dad

"Dad" I said getting up and practically launching myself into his arms

"Holly" he said hugging me back and looking to the boys

"We need to talk" he said, I nodded and looked down. We walked to an empty room

"Dad i'm sorry" I said he smiled, somethings different about him but I can't place it

"You didn't do anything wrong" he said

"But you can't do this" he said

"Daddy I can't go back" I cried

"You have to, you still have a purpose" he said in a serious tone

(Third person POV)

The loud beeping of the machine caught the boys attention

Nurses and Doctors came running in

"Her heart rates dropping! Prepare the crash cart!" The doctor yelled

"You can't be in here!" The nurse said pushing the boys out of the room

"Holly!" Dean yelled

"No!" Sam cried

(Holly's POV)

I started to feel sick, I developed a strange pain in my chest

"You'll be needed soon enough" he said, he didn't sound like himself then it hit me

"You're not my dad!" I said trying to back away. I fell to my knees clutching my chest, trying to catch my breath

"The form I appear to you in is insignificant. You can recognize all my forms" he said. He turned into a mass of golden light shaped like a man with electric blue eyes. I forced myself on my feet and tried to run for the door, he appeared in front of me and transitioned into a man in a trench coat

He had dark hair and the same blue eyes

"Who are you?!" I yelled

"Castiel, but who I am will not matter. You will not remember" he said raising his hand to my forehead

(Third person POV)

This sight was all to familiar to the boys. They've watched almost everyone they love die, they can't lose her. Their yells and pleas became muffled by the rushing doctors and nurses.

Holly's heart rate suddenly started to increase rapidly

(Holly's POV)

I jumped awake. I was surrounded by doctors and nurses, what the hell is going on!

"Whats going on?!" I yelled

"Where are my brothers?!" I yelled

"Holly!" I heard Sam call

"Sammy! Dean!" I yelled

A nurse stuck a needle in my arm and My vision started to blur. I woke up to hear someone talking

"I can't explain it, all of your sisters internal injuries are 100% healed. We would like to keep her one more night for observation but its up to you" he said

"All due respect Doc. We wanna take our sister home" Dean said

"I understand" he said. My vision cleared and I saw my boys. But why am I in a hospital?

"Why am I in the hospital?" I asked groggily. I have a major headache

"You don't remember?" Dean asked

"Kiddo You've been in here three days" Sam said my jaw practically dropped

"What happened?" I asked

"You snuck out" Dean said pissed

"We don't know what happened...cops said you got jumped" Sam said

"Why would I sneak out?" I asked

"You didn't have good intentions" Dean said, he pulled a chain from around his neck with mom's ring on it and my bracelet from his pocket.

"You left these in the bathroom along with your knife" Dean said

"I-I can't remember" I said

"Dammit Holly! Well you better start! We almost lost you!" Sam said, normally its Dean that flips out

"I don't know Sam!" I cried "the last thing I remember is checking into the motel!" I said

"Holly, Conor told us" Sam said

"You can't think like that" Dean said

"Guys-" I started

"No! Holly! You think We can just live with out you! Cause I sure as hell can't! We need you here, and the last thing either of us would want is for you to be in my place!" Dean yelled with tears in his eyes, he sounded really pissed off

"Sometimes what you don't want is the best way to go" I said

"Thats bullshit" Dean scoffed

"Dean, I was there. I was in your head with you, and if I could take your place I would. i'm not sorry" I cried, he looked shocked

"Holly that was-" Dean started

"What you're really afraid of" I said

"Listen, you're my babysister and it's my job to protect you. Not because we started hunting and dad said, because I knew the first time I held you in my arms after the fire...I promised myself and I promised you that I would never let anything ever happen to you" he said with tears in his eyes

"Dean...where you're going-" I started

"Is where you're never going" he said with finality

"I can't promise anything" I said

"Yeah well tough shit because I made a promise Sixteen years ago, and i'll be damned i'm keeping that promise" he said

A few moments of silence passed

"Can we get out of here?" I asked

"Yeah" Sam said, I stood up

"Easy Holls" Dean said steadying me

"My legs didn't brake did they?" I smirked

"Smartass" he scoffed but inevitably smirked, I hugged him.

"Why thank you" I remarked. I don't know why, maybe the fact i've been out three days, but I feel like I haven't talked to them in a long time. I gave Sam a long hug. Conor popped up

"Welcome back" Conor said

I walked over and hugged him as well.

"Glad to see you up" he said sounding sort of pissed

"Yeah" I said, I don't know why he seems pissed. Probably because I almost died

"Guys can we talk for a second" Conor said

Dean was about to say something but Sam cut him off

"Yeah, we'll be outside" Sam gave him a nod. They left the room

"So how'd you do it?" He asked

"Do what?" I asked, what the hell is he talking about

"Don't play dumb with me, How'd you block me out? How are you healed?!" He asked

"Con thats what i'm trying to say, I can't remember anything!" I said

"You don't remember going on your little spirt walk and blocking me from healing you? I mean I've seen you do some crazy things but this! This is unheard of!" He said in disbelief, well if I did block him out it obviously hurt him.

"No! I don't even know why I snuck out in the first place! Last thing I remember was checking in to the motel!" I said

"That was three days ago" he said a bit calmer now

"So I've been told" I sighed running my hand over my face and sitting on the chair. I forgot about the swelling and bruising on my face, apparently only the internal injuries were healed. A few moments of silence passed. I was focused on a tile on the floor and started to space out

"Holly" Conor said, his voice sounded distant

He lifted my chin up so I had to look him in the eyes

"Holly, you left all of your personal things you normally never take off at the motel. Mary's ring, the bracelet from Bobby, The knife from Dean. Holls you always carry that knife everywhere" he said in a much softer tone

"What happened? You can tell me" he said

"Conor I want to, I really do but I can't remember"I said starting to cry. I wiped the tears from my eyes out of frustration, I'm sick of crying today

"I'm sorry I don't know, and i'm sorry I could have died and then you-" I started, he instantly knew what I was talking about

"No Holly. Screw that okay? I wasn't worried about what was going to happen to me I was worried about what was going to happen to you" he said

"Everyone is so worried about me...about protecting me" I said

"Well...yeah, lets just say you tend to grow on people. And when you care about someone you'll do anything to protect them. Just like how you feel about your family" he said I nodded

"Jesus Con you've been spending to much time with Sammy, you're starting to sound sentimental" I laughed, he nudged me

"Shut it" he smirked

The boys came back in

"Alright! C'mon you crazy kids we're hitting the road" Dean said

"Yes! Anywhere but here" I said excited to get out of here, god I hate hospitals

I sat in the backseat next to Conor, I pulled out my concealer. I started to try and cover the bruising but it was too dark and I started to get frustrated.

"Stop" Conor said noticing my frustration. He took my concealer away, he put his hand on top of my healed all the swelling and bruising healed

"Won't you get in trouble?" I asked

"Not anymore, superiors are learning to lighten up a little" he shrugged

"How'd you manage that?" I asked

"Well I had a little heart to heart with death himself. Told him to get my superiors off my ass, in a much more respectful way, thats where i've been, thats why I had to leave" he said

"So you'll be around more?" I asked

"Yeah a lot more" he smirked I nodded

"So where are we headed?" I asked leaning my head on the seat between the boys

"Well Bobby's until we figure this out" Dean said

We made it to Bobby's late that night I greeted him with a hug and then headed to bed, I was seriously exhausted

I'm in a garden of some sort, I don't know where. A mass of golden light manifested into a man in a trench coat,

"Glad to see you're healed" he said

"What do you want? Who are you?" I asked then it hit me I remembered everything, he took the form of my dad and forced me back into my body.

"Castiel" I whispered taking a few steps back

"What are you?! What do you want?!" I asked

"I'm an angel of the lord" he said

"Theres no such thing" I stated in a flash of light I saw wings

"As to what I want. Before I said you still have a purpose, we need you alive for that, you won't remember me or the events that landed you in the hospital when you wake up, until the next time we meet in person" he said

"Then why the hell are you here?" I asked

"To be sure you will not remember" he said

"What gives you right?!" I yelled he just raised his hand to my forehead again. I jumped awake in bed, I must've been having a weird dream but I can't really remember what it was about

A strange word or name keeps popping into my head "castiel?" Whatever the hell that means

Thanks to all of you for reading :) and thanks to Ladysunshine6 for this request and help on this chapter