I AM ALIVE. *cracks out laughing because that sounded so funny in my head*

Hello! So sorry for SUCH a late update! *shutters at how long it has been* I had some drama to begin with, then I went on a week and a half vacation/road trip! yey! Which helped me forget such drama, and then when I came back I got writer's block xD Its a disease that I truly hate! But Im back! ;)


Melori found Thorin's chamber and she heard happy chatter rolled out in busy noise. She knocked once, and she knocked harder a second time until she heard the noise die down. The door opened and she disappeared inside.

"Hello" Melori greeted with a smile as she walked into the warm room. Everyone from their company was present, and they were seemingly discussing matters as they sat in a chair circle.

"Melori" Gandalf called with a respectful tilt of his head. His warm smile invited Melori in with a welcoming feel. The bottom of her dress glided with delicacy across the room as she strolled toward the chairs. The seated company rose and bowed to her.

"Welcome to our humble chamber beautiful elf" Bofur said with a lighthearted tone. Thorin cracked a smile as Melori grinned with a small shake of her head.

"Thank you, I wish to speak with your king" she began, her green eyed gaze turning towards Thorin.

"Leave us" Thorin ordered softly to his kin yet Melori shook her head making her golden wavy hair gently move around her.

"Its alright if they stay"

Thorin gave her a nod as Dwalin brought forth a chair. "Please sit"

They all sat down. Dwalin looked at Thorin, curious as to what the elf would say.

"I wanted to ask you something" she began. Their gazes bore into her half expecting for another wave of drama to sweep them all up once again. "I am aware you are leaving to Erebor soon"

Thorin nodded his brow lifting. "I know Tauriel and Kili wish to speak with Legolas, we will leave after they do so"

"I see… well I wanted to ask if Alros, Hastos and I could be your guests. I had wished of visiting Erebor for a long while, and now I see the chance has made itself known"

The room fell silent as the dwarves looked at each other. Melori stood still hoping she did not offend in any way. Bilbo looked to Thorin and Thorin looked to Gandalf and Gandalf had no choice but to shrug his shoulders but he ultimately nodded in agreement.

"For how long do you wish to stay?" Thorin asked making Melori sit up straighter… so he was agreeing?

"I do not know for sure, but as long as you wish us to stay there"

Thorin gave her smile. "You and your kin are welcomed for how long you may wish to stay"

Melori's eyes lit up as she rose with half hidden enthusiasm. "Thank you" she bowed.

Thorin gave her a dismissive wave of his hand as if her request had been nothing at all.

"I do want to speak with you about another matter" Thorin said, reminding himself of the impending questions that hung in his mind.

"Sure" Melori answered smoothing out her dress, as Thorin got up and both left the room.

"What was that about?" Dwalin asked.

"The part where she is going to be our guest or the part where Thorin needs no talk to her?" Bofur asked as Bard chuckled at Dwalin's unimpressed look.

"They want to see Erebor that is all" Bilbo calmly said.

"I meant about Thorin needing to talk to her" Dwalin grumbled with a roll of his eyes. "I don't hate elves as much"

The company agreed with grumbles and light chuckles. It was indeed true that they all had a better opinion on elves, and that was a pleasant one.

"Tauriel will be excited to know she is accompanying us" Gandalf mused changing the topic as he lit his pipe making smoke roll in lazy clouds around them.

"I think elves are pretty interesting, glad they are coming with us" Bilbo shrugged locking his hands behind his head and raising his feet up into the chair that Thorin left vacant.

"And beautiful" he added with a smile that turned into a content sigh as the warm fire cozied the atmosphere around them.


"What do you wish to speak about?" Melori asked as they both arrived at the end of the hallway.

Thorin looked at her for a few seconds, unable to find a place to start.

"You and Tauriel know each other well, and to my knowledge you are like a mother to her"

"Correct"

"What is she hiding from Kili?" Thorin asked with no hesitation whatsoever.

Melori sighed unable to hide the discomfort of being asked that question. She had grown accustomed to everyone knowing of that event that she forgot how to speak of it to those who did not. It was an event that scarred so many but it had fallen into a state of forced non remembrance.

"I do not need to know, but everyone seems to know except my nephew. I do not think that is fair"

"Thorin, it's not my place to speak of that" she whispered her eyes looking at him and then glancing towards the other end of the hallway where Tauriel and Kili's chamber resided.

"So its something grave" he concluded with certainty. "Kili loves her, and I am sure that he would never judge her"

"Tauriel is one of the most courageous souls I have ever met but her great fear lies in what he could think of her"

"It is something that affects her greatly" she continued with something in her voice that Thorin could not name.

"And it affected many more" he added as Melori nodded looking down at her hands. The tall elf in front of him seemed to somehow dwell on the past for many seconds.

"It took a long time for her to accept any kindness or love for herself even when I was there to help her in believing that it was not her fault. The wound of guilt took a long time to close but it had"

"And then Kili came along" he whispered.

"And now his love has made her doubt that healed wound. I see it in her eyes, it has come back to her"

"She needs to tell him, in doing so she will heal completely. She deserves his love, and he deserves to know. This will only get in the way of their relationship growing even stronger"

"I hope she tells him" Melori mused. Thorin could see the worry in her eyes. "There is so much pain in leaving words unspoken"


Kili went to open the door as Tauriel rose from the soft bed and stood beside it. She kept her body alert just in case Kili would act recklessly and judging from his expression… that could happen at any second.

As the door opened they found Legolas standing there with his hands tight at his back. The nerves of the situation were getting to be excruciating as his eyes met Kili's dark ones.

Legolas gave him a nod yet Kili did not respond with any gesture and he simply left the door open and returned to Tauriel's side. His hand grabbed hers as Legolas stepped into the room, leaving the door ajar. The air hung thick as if he had walked into an unknown territory, currently dominated by Kili's silent wrath.

"Hello" Legolas greeted, his voice evidently quivered. Being the first to break the silence that loomed over them was something that had to be done yet it was difficult to do so.

Kili's eyes were narrowed but his dark expression did not give anything away. Legolas had learned that when Kili not wear a scowl it was something worse.

"Legolas…" Tauriel greeted with a nonchalant nod looking over the tight gauze at his ribs and the still visible purple bruises at his nose. She wanted to say more yet she found herself unable to… she furrowed a brow as she stared at him… why was something different about him?

Legolas stood there not knowing where to start. His nerves had suddenly spiked as Tauriel's watchful gaze bore into him as if she was digging for something buried deep inside of him. So many things he wanted to say and now it was all gone. He allowed all the thoughts of Verya to escape his mind so he could focus on what he needed to say.

"I want to apologize" he began with a swallow. "My mind is killing me, and I know I deserve it yet I need to tell you both that I am deeply sorry for my behavior"

Kili clutched his already tight fist as a scowl finally filled his face.

"Its not as easy as that" he hissed, his eyes dark and stubborn. Tauriel looked to the floor as she allowed Kili to talk. They all needed to vent, and Kili had a lot to say. He deserved to do so.

"I never thought of it as easy, yet its something I must do" Legolas repeated… his voice serious but not too harsh. He could not lose his patience.

"Is everything always about you?" Kili asked with an accusing glare as Legolas rose a brow.

"Kili" Tauriel whispered, finally interrupting. Her soft eyes and small smile made his eyes warm yet he still wore a stubborn scowl.

"He has things to say, so do I" Kili accused.

Tauriel turned to Legolas who was quiet and staring at the wall, so many thoughts ran through his mind. "Forgiving you does not come easy"

"Of course it doesn't" Kili hissed, half interrupting Tauriel. He had told himself to control his fury yet having Legolas in the room was not helping. He wanted to be reasonable.. yet too much that

Legolas had said and done had harmed Tauriel… something that he could not forgive.

"Yet I want to hear what you have to say for yourself" Tauriel said making Kili almost roll his eyes.

Kili crossed his arms ready to listen and judging by Tauriel's expression, he knew she was ready to throw him out of the room if he became too stubborn. Her eyes forced him to sit back and

listen.

"I acted like I had some kind of control over you" Legolas began with faraway look to his eyes. "Knowing that you were in love with someone else sparked something in me that I never want to feel again"

Tauriel sat at the bed watching Legolas speak about his feelings with such ease… something rare. Legolas never did share his emotions or feelings well.

Legolas took a deep breath to continue.

"The thought of someone else having you burned through me, but now I can't feel anything when I'm here.. in front of you"

Kili's eyes became wide as his attention was focused on the elf. The tone of his voice was something which he had never heard in him.

"I only feel the joy everyone feels when they witness the love you two share… I can't feel the fear that those who oppose feel… I can't feel the anger or the jealousy. Its as if I have allowed the anger to leave and now… it's only the good of it that I sense"

Tauriel and Kili were both surprised at Legolas' words. He was talking with no hesitation whatsoever. Tauriel was frozen in place as Kili turned to her, also in awe.

"Its gone… the anger and jealousy I felt"

Legolas' words were heartfelt yet Kili still did not look convinced. His mind kept repeating everything hurtful that he had said before.

"When did it go away?" Kili asked. "When you screamed at me that my children were a burden to her, implying that they were going to be the ones responsible for her death or when you almost caused her to fall down those stairs?"

Tauriel's hand fell down to her stomach to caress it gently as her eyes darkened and turned to Legolas.

"When I pushed her and she looked at me… not with anger but disappointment. That was the second time she had done so… and it hurt more than any fatal wound. Tauriel I am so sorry. Kili, I apologize for those words"

Tauriel closed her eyes as she swallowed down the emotion and tears she could feel begin to surface. She was determined not to allow any tears to fall down her cheeks but Kili could see the great effort it took her to do just that.

"I came to apologize, I did not come expecting forgiveness. The fear of your death was suffocating me, and I understand that my words and actions were out of bounds. The last possible thing I wanted was for you to get hurt"

Tauriel took a deep breath as Kili sat back at the edge of the bedside table with arms crossed. Legolas' eyes were as clear as a summer day and he could feel the difference in him. Something kind and lighthearted was present in him. That was the Legolas he caught hugging Tauriel before they went to talk to Thranduil and his council about the gems. It was the Legolas who defended them both in front of his father. It was he who had saved Tauriel's life by making his arrow not miss its target when the orcs had attacked a second time. That was the Legolas who had been making jokes while they were on their way to Erebor after the meeting with his father and the council.

Tauriel and Kili were silent, both probably thinking the same thing yet they both had different opinions. Their eyes met as a silent, invisible, strange yet familiar conversation occurred. Seconds later it seemed as if they had agreed on something because Tauriel turned to Legolas as Kili sighed.

"This is harder than I thought it would be" Tauriel whispered in a dry chuckle. Legolas shook his head.

"I don't need your forgiveness, I only came to apologize" he repeated.

Tauriel lifted a brow, a sense of anger coming back to her by looking at him. "Yes, you do need it, do not lie to me Legolas"

Kili slammed his hand down on the bedside table making both Legolas and Tauriel flinch at the unexpected sound.

"I don't forgive you, I don't care if you need it or you don't. You have caused her too much pain. I can't accept your apology"

He crossed the room to the door yet Tauriel stood up from the bed trying to stop him.

"Kili this is going to affect you for a long time, we need to move on from this"

"I almost missed you Tauriel" he said his voice rising in volume and his eyes blazing with fire. "One more inch and I would have missed you"

His voice quivered and his chest heaved as she stared at him with tears in her eyes. The fear she could hear in his voice pulled painfully at her heart. That incident still haunted him and the one that had caused it was standing in front of him.

"We need to move on" she whispered walking towards Kili. She needed him close to her because his eyes were filled with everything bad that had happened. "Not forgiving is going to stain our

hearts and mind" Her hands caressed his cheeks as his arms snaked around her waist pulling her into him.

"You know all about that too…. the difficulty of forgiveness, do not expect me to forgive as easily" Kili whispered. His voice was not accusative yet his eyes narrowed.

Legolas eyes perked up and looked towards the couple. It was the conversation which had an overdue label written all over it. Tauriel hands fell away from him as her eyes became defensive.

"Not now" she whispered.

Kili took a step back towards the door. "He even knows, yet I do not. I am sure he helped get through it, why can't I do the same?"

Tauriel closed her eyes slightly and then she turned to Legolas. "He did help me… along with Melori. Without them I would have probably fallen away"

"Tell me" Kili whispered with slight desperation in his eyes before Legolas could even say something. It was as if he was just another piece of furniture in the room.

"We both have truths we had not spoken of" she blurted trying to distract him.

Kili's mouth fell open as Legolas stood there, his eyes wide at the intensity of their burning stares. What was the truth that Kili needed to tell her? And how did the atmosphere change so quickly? What was going on?

"You have to be kidding me, what I refused to talk about is not as grave nor important"

Tauriel clutched her fists tighter. "It is important to me"

Legolas could feel the blistering heat of the room as it filled with tension. He sighed because he knew how well both Tauriel and Kili could easily burst into a heated argument.

"Why Tauriel?" Kili asked throwing his arms in the air. "Its not something that gives me nightmares and fills my eyes with fear! Not like what you need to tell me"

"Thats not fair, it doesn't cost you anything to tell me" she accused with fresh tears coming into her eyes. Her tone was harsh and Kili had a second of guilt for making her angry and sad.

"You will get uncomfortable!" Kili shot back. Legolas was so lost and confused. What were they talking about? His eyes just turned from Kili to Tauriel every time one of them talked.

Kili was right of course because even the mere thought of Kili with someone else made her anger rise. And to her dismay her throat felt dry by thinking of another woman being in his arms. The strange sense of jealousy made her eyes bright and Kili saw it as he had also felt that burn.

"I'm not telling you… It's not that I don't want to, I can't" she said as she shook her head. She knew she was being unfair because all Kili wanted was to possibly help her… however her stubbornness made her speak.

"Then don't tell me, I don't care" he hissed and turned around, with a glare hotter than the sun. He threw the door open, fire almost spitting out of the sole of his boots. Tauriel's eyes fell with a hint of sadness yet her angry resolve did not leave her.

"Don't tell me you don't care" she loudly accused going after him, her eyes flashing. Now they were both outside in the hallway and Legolas had no choice but to go after them.

"Tauriel, calm down" Legolas proposed…. now he was in the middle of an argument… Tauriel ignored him of course.

"Tell me when you are sure that my feelings wont change or that I will think different of you" Kili yelled, his footsteps quickening. He knew that she was afraid of what he would think of her. Yet the uncertainty she had towards his feelings made his mind fill with strange anger. He felt like he needed to prove his love in order to be told.

The yelling echoing across the hallway made everyone file out of Thorin's chamber. Even Melori was present and her eyes immediately turned to Tauriel who was on the verge of tears. Her instinct automatically made her walk towards her as a mother runs to their wounded child yet Tauriel was no child as she kept her tears locked away.

"You are accusing me of something I can't control Kili, the fear I feel is too real and I don't want to face it. Please do not make me remember"

Kili leaned heavily on the wall. Fili walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You love her Kili, don't push her into telling you when she isn't ready"

"She doesn't trust me" he accused looking at Tauriel. Melori was at her side and the entire hallway was full of curious eyes yet it felt as if they were alone. Tauriel and Kili were only looking at each other, oblivious to those around them.

Tauriel clutched her tight fists and advanced forward with fury burning in her eyes. Only fury could make her speak the truth so she held onto it.

But before that, she turned to Legolas. "I forgive you, we can't go back to what we were before, but I forgive you"

Her eyes were empty, waiting for the anger to fill them once again. Legolas didn't even know how to react as she advanced forward, not waiting for a reply.

"Tauriel" Melori whispered yet she stood back allowing Tauriel to walk forward with her hair burning around her. Everyone cleared a path for her and even Fili walked to the opposite side of the hallway to the other wall as he cleared his throat. He didn't exactly want to go against an angry Tauriel who had danger written across her beautiful face. That was Kili's job.

"I don't trust you?" Tauriel asked her voice loud as it echoed and boomed around them. Kili swallowed as an agitated, fiery elf approached him yet he stood tall never letting his heated gaze falter.

"Of course I trust you! What do you think that love doesn't come with trust? I gave myself to you knowing that I could trust you, knowing that I wasnt alone in the love I felt towards you! And now I am expecting your children and I would give my life for them and for you in a second of no hesitation. I trust you to protect me, and I trust you to protect them! So don't ever say that I don't trust you when trust is difficult to achieve yet you have made it so easy!"

She stopped a few feet away from him as he looked at her frantic eyes. Her tears leaked from the corner of her eyes, and her chest rose heavily from the angry retort she had gotten across. His hand went through his hair as she stood rigid in front of him. Her hand shook as he took a step towards her but she took a step back with a scowl on her face. It hurt him so much to see her avoiding his touch. Tauriel swallowed trying to hold his gaze.

"I'm sorry I said that, but I just want to help you my love" he whispered trying his hardest to erase his anger. His hands yearned to touch her cheeks as it felt as if it had been decades since he had last touched her. "But I can't do that if you don't tell me. Tauriel I know it will cause you pain to tell me, but I am here with you and for you, and I'm not leaving you. The love I feel for you will never go away, it can only become stronger. Nothing you can possibly tell me could make my feelings change"

Tauriel's tears finally fell freely down her cheeks. She wiped them away as the warm words he had told her caused her eyes to become clear. He gave her a small, reassuring smile and at that moment all she wanted was to be in his arms and kiss his lips.

She finally took a deep breath and closed her eyes trying to calm herself. Their audience, scattered in the hallway, stood there not knowing if the should leave or stay.

"I was the cause of the deaths of innocent people, elf and human" she announced swallowing the thick emotion trapped in her throat. Her voice was loud and clear… almost too empty as her voice lost any tone or emotion. "They are dead because of me. I killed them"

Kili's eyes did not blink as he felt his body freeze, and his heartbeat stop. Her own despair filled him and the pain he could feel in her was suffocating. The entire hallway was haunted with silence.

He shook his head as he almost heard Melori say… "it was not her fault".


Thanks for reading!

I hope you all liked that :) Minor cliffhanger as usual! I was thinking 'maybe I shouldn't leave a cliffhanger since I was away for so long, but then I was like naahhh thats my style" *.*

Ohh... I need to choose a ship name for our newest ship (and a not so much loved ship by some of ya'll) Im gonna go with Verlas... And now that I am talking about Verlas... I was hesitant myself, after thinking about it and going in circles, I decided to go for it... A bit of a challenge but I accept it! Alkymee- Knew you would be happy! :)

Though as always I respect any opinions on anything and dont hesitant to let them be known to me! I will try not to cry... xD just kidding xD

Next chapter should be an interesting one ;) FINALLY we are getting to it.. like that 'it' 0.o

I have a reader who is dying for more Melros, hey babe you know who you are ;)... so a bit more of them, and then we get to some more scenes and we leave Mirkwood! Lets see if Erebor is still standing when they get back xD

Ps- is this the only chapter where Kili doesn't call Tauriel Freckles? :'(

Oh and thanks on the baby gender opinions, and some of you gave me names! :)

thatbloodyines... I have a scene coming up that I know you will LOVE xD

xoxo