secret: I actually like Andrew OOPS MY BAD!

He's just so fun to write :3c


Desmond usually are alone. He got his food from the cafeteria style kitchen and sat alone and ate his lunch. The others didn't bother him unless he bothered them. They always drew the eyes of everyone there and Desmond was still inconspicuous in the ark. No one knew him or that he was anyone but a guy. He wore his hood down when he ate but kept his gloves on. The person behind the counter had given him funny looks for the first few days but not anymore. They all knew the weird guy who dressed head to toe in black like a hijabi, barely even showing his face half the time.

Desmond ate lunch in peace for a while before someone came and sat across from him. He ignored them for a bit. If it was one of the others they'd start talking eventually. They didn't. They just started to eat.

After several minutes of a comfortable silence broken only by the sound of their cutlery, Desmond looked up. He nearly threw his plate at his father out of principle but managed to restrain himself. "What are you doing here?" Desmond growled.

"Having lunch. Is it not obvious?" Andrew asked. "Going to condemn an old man his eating now?"

Desmond's body vibrated a little and he took a breath. They weren't fighting. There was no need for such a flight or fight response. He calmed down and didn't feel like he needed to set someone on fire. "I like eating alone," Desmond said.

"Well you can deal with having a meal with your old man. Might be the last one," he said with no sarcasm. It was, unfortunately, a shot right to Desmond's heart. "We haven't eaten together in... Fifteen years? Sixteen?"

"Seventeen," Desmond said quietly.

"Seventeen. I think we're due. For one without any yelling."

"I'll yell if I fucking want," Desmond said but he sounded bratty even to his own ears.

"Yes. Of course," Andrew said, mildly, sounding amused. Not in a condescending way though. "Jackson told me you told everyone they were worthless."

"How do you know Jackson?"

"He's an Assassin of course."

"One of your replacement sons?" Desmond said it to hurt and he did see Andrew wince a little.

"No," he said calmly. "He's from the compound in Idaho. Very skilled young man. Violent though. He had his uses, but he's only good so long as you know how to direct that sharp bite of his."

Desmond hesitated. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know he doesn't respect you. Many of those in your little suicide squad don't. Today he said you'd given up. Didn't sound very accurate," Andrew said and took a bite of his lunch. Desmond was just sitting there, staring at him. "Gave them an ultimatum. Ultimatums don't work."

"You'd know."

"I would. I gave Lucy one. Didn't work out for her. People will always choose what's important to them over an order any day. An ultimatum is a failure on the leader's part though. Failure to provide proper importance. It's why moles go native. You fail to make what they left more important than the contacts they make outside. The Assassins have had a particularly bad job at this," he admitted with a sigh.

"Jackson going to be back tomorrow?"

"Yes. I'm making him and the other Assassins go back. I kept them together this long, I won't see them fall apart because of you."

"If they would just-

"You need to inspire loyalty," Andrew talked right over him. Normally when he did that it infuriated Desmond. Today it didn't. It was, bizarrely, similar to how Cain would talk to him so he didn't balk like he normally did. "Right now they're there because the others told them you were going to attack the proeathans and help the war. But you're just a vehicle for their own desires. Revenge, loyalty to another, desire to make a difference in this war. But they don't respect anything you say. You might think whatever you want about me but I am very good at inspiring loyalty in others. You don't become Mentor without earning the respect of those under you and building a solid foundation on which to base your platform to lead."

Desmond just sat there. He didn't argue. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and after having to work with Cain and his ancestors he knew that the things that hurt to hear were often the right things. He didn't like hearing what Andrew was saying, but he also wasn't exactly wrong. The whole situation was weird though. "Why are you telling me this? Why do you care what I'm doing?"

"Don't be insensitive, Desmond. You're my son, my only son. You think I don't care?"

"Yes, actually, I do."

Andrew sighed and ran a hand through his mostly grey hair. "I know I wasn't the best father to you. Certainly not what you deserved-

"You think?" Desmond asked sarcastically.

"And I'm not always the easiest man to get along with but you need to understand something. For someone like me... An outsider," saying it pained him. It was why he'd taken the Miles name. Desmond didn't even know what Andrew's name had been before his mother. "The Assassins are torturous. Literally. Before I was accepted I had to pass a test where I was kidnapped by 'Templars' and interrogated like they would interrogate us. I had no idea at the time and was terrified. It's to test your loyalty before they let you close. I passed but if nothing else it scared me too much to talk if I ever talked and the Assassins found out. They are not kind to traitors.

"I'm not using that as an excuse," he continued, his manner subdued and Desmond's eyes were glued to his father. He never knew that. "But it's made me what I am, just as all life experiences make you what you are. I'm afraid it made me a very mean man," he sighed, hands drooping as they held his cutlery. "And I regret it did so. The past is so easy to change isn't it? All you have to say is that you'd have done it different. I've done it different a thousand ways with you, with Duncan, Kaley ever since you left. It's so easy to see your faults from the future."

"The past can't be changed," Desmond said.

"No," Andrew said. "I try though. After all the hundreds of thousands of people who've died, the men I've lost. What could I have done to save them? Assassins were supposed to safe keep the world and we were powerless. It helped keep us safe but what good were we without the world?" He sighed a little. "I tried. God knows I tried. In the end it was for nothing. We were lost and I and a small portion of us was all that left. When we found you in Mexico it was a miracle."

"You tried to make them scan my brain and put me in an Animus," Desmond reminded him bitterly.

"You told me you'd been cloned. I was afraid..." He pulled a face, for a moment looking pained and hurt. "I was just afraid," he said like that was all he needed to be said.

"All this heart felt shit doesn't excuse your actions. How you treated me. How you treated my brother," because he couldn't even say Duncan's name.

"I know. I have no excuses. I just..." He sighed as he said, "just wanted you to understand. "I am sorry for how you grew up," he hesitated like there was something caught in his throat. He struggled with it for several seconds before he swallowed and gave up. "I want to try to make up for that. I didn't do right by you then. Could you let me try again?"

Desmond said nothing a moment. "No," he said and then grabbed his plate. "You don't get that luxury." He stood up. "And you ruined my lunch," he walked away. As he did he heard Andrew put his hand to his face. He told himself he didn't care.

He'd been a little kid when his brother had killed himself and Andrew had been, basically, a single parent. Instead of giving Desmond the attention he'd desperately needed and wanted he'd just made himself more busy. To get any of Andrew's attention you had to make him fight for it. Desmond had done so by acting out, rebelling and general acts of disobedience. That got his father to notice him, to fucking care. It was a sick, toxic, relationship Desmond had tried to forget for ten years. He never wanted to have to fight to earn someone's love like that. Not when they'd never love him back.

Desmond yanked his hood up after dropping his dishes off and left the cafeteria. His chest ached in a way he hated. Andrew was still his father and despite wanting to distance himself from him there was still that eight year old boy inside him who desperately wanted his father's attention. Who wanted to be valued and loved by that man. He hated that part of himself. That he still cared what Andrew wanted, still cared about what Andrew thought of him. Desmond thought he was past that.

He wasn't.

It just made him angry. Like red hot furious. Angry at himself. Every encounter with his father up till now he'd shut down before the old man had really gotten a chance to talk and he'd been able to deal with it. But listening to him now. Hearing stuff that he went through and reasons why he was a shitty parent that explained rather than excused his behavior. It just made Desmond angry at it all. Angry he felt sympathetic. Angry that the Assassins had done things like that to people just because they weren't born into it. Not angry for Andrew's sake. Angry for his own. Who knew if maybe Desmond would have been able to have an actual father. Shit maybe he could have had a semi normal family.

"Desmond." He turned around. Cain was standing there, head cocked a bit to the side like a curious dog.

He was standing in a hallway in front of a lift, the lights were flickering but were mostly off than on. He'd lost track of time and just got caught up in the hot flame of fury in his stomach. Things were just less complicated when his dad wasn't involved. Why couldn't he just leave Desmond alone?

"What are you doing?" Cain asked him.

"Nothing," Desmond grunted, sinking into his hood.

"Don't even try. Altair does that. Doesn't work as well as you think," Cain said blithely.

"Fuck off Cain," he spat.

Cain stood there. "What happened?" Without asking he touched Desmond's arm and he was not in the mood to be touched. He pushed him off. "Don't be difficult kid. Just tell me what happened?"

"None of your business is what happened," Desmond scowled and called the lift again. Nothing happened. No tone to indicate it'd even registered.

"There's no power in this part of the ark," Cain said. "Demeter sent me to see what the malfunction was since she can't see. Too much static. You aren't going anywhere. You need to calm down. Whatever it is probably isn't that big of a deal."

"What would you know?" Desmond demanded. "You don't even give a fuck half the time. Acting all aloof like we all aren't dying."

"It happens when you can't die and even if I could I'd outlive you all anyway. I already did," he shrugged a little.

"Not helping," Desmond growled and all the lights turned off, no longer even flickering. All that remained of any light were Desmond's teal markings and Cain's blue eyes.

"I would if you'd tell me what got you so upset," Cain said, patient and practiced in dealing with brats like him. Desmond couldn't help but think that he'd had plenty of experience from handling Altair when he was young. And handling who knew who else. Had Jesus been a brat too?

"Andrew. It was my dad, alright," he growled.

"That's all?"

Desmond glared at him. "That- that's all?" Desmond asked. "Do you not know what they guy did to me? That he almost got me killed?"

"You've almost gotten yourself killed plenty of times. Wanted to kill yourself too," Cain said.

"Yeah but that's me. My fucking father shouldn't want to put his only son in needly danger for nothing. Literally nothing. For a fucking Apple," he nearly gagged. Just thinking about them made him angry too and for all the right reasons. Just the disgusting disgrace the proeathans inflicted on humans for thousands of years unending. All because they could and never thinking for a moment if they should.

"What'd he say to you that got you so upset?" Desmond wanted to rebel and not tell Cain. In the end, he did. He also told Cain about what he'd said to his AI, and his platoon. Cain was leaning against the wall, listening, while Desmond talked. "I know you don't want to hear this but he's right in some ways."

"You're right! I didn't!"

"Calm down. No need to yell at me. You aren't mad at me, you're mad at yourself. All the failures of those around you are failures of yourself and you know it," Desmond glowered but didn't argue. "You don't know how to lead. Its okay. Joan d'Arc didn't know either."

"Please don't tell me you gave her lessons," Desmond said.

"Lets just say, she didn't actually hear the Archangel Micheal," Cain said with a coy smile Desmond could see because his eyes had switched into dark vision without him realizing it. "Very upsetting to everyone she died so young though," he frowned then. "She was such a nice young girl. Pretty sure she was in love with me," he trailed off a bit. "Anyway," he waved away Desmond's aghast stare. "Six hundred years ago, not important. Far too young for my tastes anyway."

"Gross," Desmond said.

"Back in the day she was too old for a lot of men if that'd make it better."

"Extra gross," Desmond said dryly and Cain chuckled.

"My point was that she didn't know what she was doing either. She learned though. You'll learn too. So far you've done a shit job at it. What your father said, its actually not bad advice."

"You're supposed to me on my side here," Desmond growled.

"I don't have a side. I don't even have to be there. I have what I want from the Adjatevs and your side twice over. Far as I'm concerned I've won this war. I could just go out into the wilderness and you'd never find me and I'd live out there until you'd all just torn each other apart and it'd died down. Whatever was left would be so degraded from the humanity we know in both proeathans and humans they probably would worship me as a god."

"Wouldn't be the first time, right?" Desmond sneered.

"No," Cain grinned. "It wouldn't. Probably not the last either."

"Then what should I do?"

"Lets start by letting the lights come back, eh?"

"I like it dark."

"You aren't Batman, turn the lights on."

"How do you know about Batman?"

"I've been reading," Cain said with a grin. "So lets stop with the super hero level melodrama. It could be much worse."

"Yeah. How?"

"I really could have betrayed you in Apollo and you'd still be in that pod and you'd never come out. At least not as you are. Not until the Adjatevs had stripped every part of you out of you and made you something else like Warren did to Daniel. Now calm down and control yourself. Its unbecoming for the savior of the world to be having a temper tantrum because his daddy was mean to him."

"I should fucking punch you."

"You still have that free shot from Apollo," Cain said mildly. "But you don't really want to do that."

Desmond huffed and closed his eyes. He calmed himself and the glowing receded, power returned to that part of Demeter. "Oh. Desmond, is everything all right?" Demeter asked. "I thought we discussed you keeping a cool head while you were here? I cannot lose access to parts of my ark."

"It got away from me," Desmond said, locking the fire and anger away deep inside himself. He was calm now like he'd never been furious. He could still feel the inferno inside him, but it was a controlled fire now. "Sorry."

"Its alright. Now I can see if anything happened while systems were off," Demeter said and Desmond felt her fade.

"Now," Cain stepped forward and when he put his hand on Desmond's shoulder Desmond didn't yank away, "your problem."

"Which one? I have more than I can count."

"The fact that your men don't respect you. They have no reason to. You've proved nothing to them. You want them to follow you into hell, you have to go into hell for them."

"How do I do that? I don't have time for that either. I only have a few weeks and every day I'm losing time."

"Then fake it. Put something they care about in danger. Then take it out of danger. Show them you're capable, worthy of being followed. Joan did that a few times. No one wanted to listen to her, they did in the end. For a while at least. Men tend to get in a woman's way though," he rolled his eyes at that.

"How do I do that? I can't do this with each person?"

"Well for the humans it'd be easy. Put Lucy in danger-

"Absolutely not," Desmond said.

"Why not? She's already been in serious life threatening situations, without you around I might add, and come out unscathed. A fake situation wouldn't damage her."

"She's not— she's not a fucking trophy," Desmond growled. "Or a thing I can just ask that of. She hates being known as the Angel of the Lake-

"Yet she will be known that far after she's dead," Cain said. "Names like that don't go away. They linger like an old wound, acting up when the weather is bad. Whatever's left of the humans here after Atlantis will tell stories of the Angel for generations. It will become myth, legend, religion. I've seen it before. Siddhartha was just a man but he became more than that. So did Jesus, even Arthur became more."

"You know. You really have to stop with the historical figures references. It freaks me out."

"Get used to it. Point being nothing you do or anything she does will change the fact that in as little as three generations she will be a figure of myth, a saint or a demi god or a god in its own right. There is no controlling people when hope is presented to them. Lucy is a hope that something, somewhere, is out there, bigger than them, and looking out for them."

"That's it then," Desmond said.

"What's it?"

"I don't have to do anything," he said.

"What?" Cain frowned at him in confusion.

"They'll follow Lucy into hell," he said. "Even the proeathans respect her for what she's done with the plantations. I just have to show them some hell. They want an Angel. Fine. Then I'll be the Devil."

Cain looked at him with a strange expression. "Not the route I'd thought you'd go. But interesting."

"I figured you'd approve. You like the world to be balanced. Hope should always be balanced with desperation."

"Heh. I guess."

"Thanks. I need to go talk to Lucy now," Desmond called the lift and the doors opened immediately. It'd been waiting there for him since he'd shut this part of the ark down.

"She's in the nursery I believe," Cain said, letting him go.

"Thanks," Desmond said again and got onto the lift.

"Tell her it was my idea, that way she doesn't call you the biggest idiot she's ever seen," Cain said with a grin.

"I will," Desmond grinned back a bit. "You can afford to be the scapegoat this time," and then the doors closed as Desmond dialed in the coordinates for the nursery.


*stares at all the foreshadowing knowing you're probably not gonna see it* aaaaay