A/N: Chapter fifty four! :) Thanks to everyone who's stuck with this story and reviewed. Also, this continues on from the last chapter :D xxxxx

(Mr Octagon, Cyberman, Rassilon, Billis, Big C, Owen, Tosh, Jack, The Master and The Doctor are in this conversation in case you've forgotten)

Mr Octagon says- Now let me make this perfectly clear, Torchwood. The only reason we're helping you is because we don't want any other bad guys trying to destroy your lives. That's our job!

Jackie Chan says- Can't we all just be friends?

Here come the drums says- What do you think this is Harkness, High School Musical?

BIG C,INNIT says- O MA DAYZ I LUV DAT FILM!

Cyberman says- I KNOW! AND THE BIT WHERE GABRIELLA AND TROY ARE DANCING IS-

BIG C,INNIT says- DAT'S DA BEST BIT MAN!

Jackie Chan says- Big C!

Mr Octagon says- Cyberman! You're meant to be a villian! Man up!

Cyberman says- Sorry :(

Here come the drums says- Guys! More important matters! So no offence Mr O, but... how exactly are you going to help us? Coz no offense but... you're not the most deadly guys on the block...

Mr Octagon says- I have a perfect plan that cannot fail! And what do you mean we're not deadly?

Sexy Techie says- Well you're not exactly... scary

Rassilon says- Yes we are! I'll have you know that an organisation has already given all their money to us, they were so afraid!

Timey Wimey Lord says- The wool for hairless sheep organisation doesn't count, they're afraid of everyone.

Billis says- oh... well there are loads of others!

I love sex with John says- Tosh, aren't you meant to be picking Ben up from the baby sitters?

Sexy Techie says- Oh god, thanks Owen I didn't notice the time... Keep me updated?

Jackie Chan says- Course :)

-Sexy Techie has left the conversation-

...

Jones,Ianto Jones says- soooo... fancy letting me out?

Davros says- No. Your annoying-ness makes me want to kill you more.

Jones,Ianto Jones says- You find me annoying?

Davros says- Yes!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Huh. Weird. I think I'm quite a fun person to be around actually.

Davros says- For god's sakes shut up!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- That's mean. No, that's more then mean, that's BULLYING.

Davros says- Seriously, you're completely-

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Did you know that most bullies only bully because they themselves have been bullied? Where you bullied as a child Davros? *pats head*

Davros says- What? No! I was feared!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Did they make fun of you because you have no legs?

Davros says- No, I used to have legs!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- And now you have a dalek base... where you the only one with legs Davros? Did everyone else have Dalek bases? Did you cut off your legs to fit in?

Davros says- No!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Unique is key dear Davros, unique is key. Hey! That rhymes! What else rhymes?

Davros says- Please don't...

Jones,Ianto Jones says- dumb Davros?

Davros says- No.

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Dissatisfaction Davros?

Davros says- Seriously. I'm holding you hostage here-

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Delusional Davros?

Davros says- NO!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Dipstick Davros?

Davros says- OH for the love of-

...

Here come the drums says- Okay, tell us your plan

Mr Octagon says- First... we buy monkey suits.

I love sex with John says- Monkey suits?

Mr Octagon says- Yes, monkey suits. Because you see, if he catches us in the area, he'll know he's onto us. But if we lay low in disguise... he won't notice we know where he is!

I love sex with John says- Rightttt... and you think that ten people in monkey suits won't attract attention at all?

BIG C,INNIT says- WE COULD CARRY PLASTIC BANANAS!

Cyberman says- YEAH! THEN PEOPLE WOULDN'T SUSPECT ANYTHING!

Jackie Chan says- ...

Mr Octagon says- Next, we hire an icecream van, and sneak into Davros' lair. If we're in an icecream van and not the SUV he won't know it's us and won't suspect anything!

Here Come The Drums says- Yeah, because that wouldn't be suspicious at all. Who doesn't get ten people in monkey suits squashed up in an icecream van driving through their houses every day?

Rassilon says- Ignore him, I think it's brilliant! What's next boss?

Mr Octagon says- We make our way to the centre of the lair... and place a massive birthday cake in the centre of the room.

Timey Wimey Lord says- Yep. I'm seeing the logic. Doesn't sound like complete and utter crap at all!

Mr Octagon says- However, there is a timer in the birthday cake. When the timer goes off, the cake will change into a Dalek.

I love sex with John says- Wow. Sainsburys sell some fucking crazy stuff these days.

Jackie Chan says- I wonder how Ianto's getting on...

Here come the drums says- What if he's hurt? :(

Timey Wimey Lord says- Or dying? :(

BIG C,INNIT says- Either way man, I reckon he's not havin' a good tym...

...

Jones,Ianto Jones says- I'm having such a good time! Dinosaur Davros?

Davros says- NO.

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Dopey Davros?

Davros says- Seriously, NO!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- ...dacnomania Davros?

Davros says- ...wtf does that mean?

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Obsessed with Killing

Davros says- ...huh. Actually, that doesn't sound too ba-

Jones,Ianto Jones says- demonarchy Davros?

Davros says- NO! SAY ONE SINGLE WORD AND I WILL TEAR YOUR EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO A BEAR!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- ...Demonosopher Davros?

Davros says- !

Jones,Ianto Jones says- GAHHHHHHHHHHH to you too buddy :D

...

Mr Octagon says- ANYWAY, onto the next stage of the plane. Davros hears the Dalek and rushes to the source.

I love sex with John says- Yeeesss...

Mr Octagon says- So then... we go to find Ianto.

Here come the drums says- Finally!

Mr Octagon says- ...we reach the rope bridge linking the lair to the evil castle, set fire to the end of the bridge and drive against the clock up the rope bridge before the entire thing catches fire and we plunge to our deaths

BIG C,INNIT says- ...o.O

Billis says- sounds like a great plan to me boss!

Mr Octagon says- Then, once we've reached the end of the bridge we find Ianto, find all the necessary pieces of equipment to make a hot air ballon, build it, and fly out. GO TEAM OCTAGON AND THE OCTAGETTES!

Jackie Chan says- ...

I love sex with John says- ...

Here come the drums says- ...

Timey Wimey Lord says- ...

Cyberman says- ...I like the name! :D

BIG C,INNIT says- YEAH! IT SOUNDZ LIKE A PROPA BAND NAME 'ND EVERYTHING!

Jackie Chan says- Ermm... Mr Octagon.. we're really pleased you've decided to help, but... your plan... isn't very good.

Mr Octagon says- I think it's a great plan! Onwards!

I love sex with John says- Oh dear god, we're all gonna die...

-Jones,Ianto Jones has entered the conversation-

-Davros has entered the conversation-

Here come the drums says- IANTO! YOU'RE BACK!

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Hey guys :D

Davros says- I send you the address of where he is! Take him! I can't handle it anymore! He's a madman! He's driving me insane, just KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!

-Davros has left the conversation-

Jackie Chan says- Ianto! You're back! I know you've only been gone for two days but you have no idea how much I missed you... never ever go and get yourself caught again Ianto, I've missed you too much! xxx

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Awww, Jack :') xxx

Here come the drums says- ...Nicely said Harkness.

Timey Wimey Lord says- Just, you know... don't do anything to him the two of us wouldn't approve of.

Jackie Chan says- I love you Yan...

Mr Octagon says- I'm going to be sick.

Rassilon says- Love... it's disgusting...

Jones,Ianto Jones says- I love you to Jack...

BIG C,INNIT says- ...soz 4 ruinin' da moment and all... but I can burp standing on ma head!

Cyberman says- OMG! THAT'S SO COOL!

I love sex with John says- ...you know... that Cyberman reminds me of someone...

Billis says- Yeah, and that Big C of yours reminds me of someone I know, someone really annoying...

Jackie Chan says- ...nope, can't think of anything.

Timey Wimey Lord says- No, me neither.

...

Davros says- I have been defeated... but one day... one day I will get the torchwood team... they will regret the day they interupted my plans... they will DIE...

-Jones,Ianto Jones has entered the conversation-

Jones,Ianto Jones says- Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Bye Distraught Davros!

-Jones,Ianto Jones has left the conversation-

A/N: Review please :) Much love xxxxx