To hear me singing Hannah's song, youtube dot com slash watch?v=xy5a2T8QQZs&feature=
Sunday 17th November 2013
"Ana!" Mia yells coming into mine and Christian's hotel room, dressed to impressed and ready to go.
"Hey Mia." I smile hugging her as tight as I can over my bump.
"Oh you're looking amazing and there's my little niece or nephew!" She grins rubbing my belly making me laugh.
"And what about your brother?" Christian asks leaning on the door frame all dressed in his tux, oh he looks good enough to eat… not that I haven't been ravished by him multiple times over the morning.
"Oh Christian hello." Mia smiles running over to hug him.
"You look good, I think LA suits you." Christian says which makes me smile, he does worry about Mia being out here but we can both see she's doing well for herself as Mrs Ryan Seacrest.
"Oh I love it Christian though I do miss you guys, Thanksgiving will be amazing, Mom told me we're doing it at your house this year?"
"Bigger family we need a bigger place and our dining room is big enough to hold a banquet." Christian chuckles as Mia badgers him, this year thanksgiving will be all of us at our house and it has been a hell of a time organising everything because we've had to get a dining table made for us because we don't want to be sitting in lines, Christian wanted us all in a circle and it was near impossible to get a table big enough with nice chairs and stuff so we've had basically a round table made big enough to fit everyone who is coming which is the Greys' the Taylors', the Seacrests', the Kavanaghs' and Sawyers' that's a lot of people. We have even spent a fortune in getting caterers in even though I didn't want to, no one should work thanksgiving but thankfully we found a company that hired those American's who don't celebrate Thanksgiving for different religious reasons and others and so we will use them for the day.
"So where's that husband of yours?" Christian asks as he checks his bow tie in the mirror, damn I'm near drooling at the sight of him.
"On the red carpet ready to interview of course, this is huge Christian, it's the AMA's."
"Of course, I forgot your husband would be interviewing." I reply for Christian, I hadn't really but I'm saving him some little embarrassment.
"Well how do you think I got a ticket?" Mia laughs. "Seeing as someone didn't invite me." She gives me a pretend death stare and my hands go up.
"If I had a ticket to give you I would have Mia but there was only four and that was me, Christian, Tito and Lila. Sorry."
"I know it's fine. Now come on, we should get a move on."
"Mia Ana can't just leave, she has a certain time she's expected to arrive. You go on ahead and we'll see you there." Christian says knowing I still need to take deep calming breathes and relax and stuff before making my way out, I mean it's going to be a long and emotional day and he's not wrong about the estimated time of arrival we've been given by the event organisers.
"Fine, but don't forget to stop at Ryan so he can interview you, you're the one he's most excited to do."
"Fine." I promise as Christian shows her out.
I check myself out in the full length mirror and I smile. I may feel uncomfortable and swollen but there's been a good job done on my hair and make-up. I'm glowing and my hair is all up elegantly with earrings dangling from my ears to my shoulders. Then there's my dress, a full length bluebell coloured chiffon dress which just floats with some diamonds on the band just above my baby bump.
"Almost ready?" Christian asks coming into the room, I know it's almost time to go but I don't want to leave.
"Yeah, has my other outfit been taken down?" I ask and Christian nods. The AMA's are known for having the wackiest performances ever but the AMA's for me is going to be simple, nothing OTT just me and the music in a pair of jeans and a baby doll dress blouse singing a song for my best friend.
Our arrival on the red carpet is as wild as always, the press want photos but this time I'm really not in the mood. I hear someone shout that I'm allowed to be grumpy because I'm pregnant and it's enough to give them the smile shot that will be sold everywhere.
I do a few interviews but avoid many more but seeing Ryan I march towards him having promised Mia that I would let him do it.
"Ana so good to see you." Ryan greets me in a hug and an air kiss and shakes Christian's hand with a lot less tension surrounding us to the last time the three of us were on the red carpet. "Wow look at you Ana, you look amazing."
"Well thank you so much handsome." I tease making Christian and Ryan laugh.
"So come on sis, the world is dying to know when baby Grey is supposed to be making it's appearance into the world. I already know as your brother in law that the sex is a top secret but come on, we want to know the due date."
"This baby Grey is due on the sixth of January." I smile as Christian wraps an arm around me.
"Oh that's just wonderful, I can't wait to be an uncle again." He winks, yes he has officially become and Uncle to Caleb Scott and in turn India Annalise so yes, he will be the uncle of James Theo too. "So Ana, tonight you're up for New Artist of the year and after your wonderful win at the VMA's how do you think you'll fair tonight?"
"Just being here is amazing Ryan and a nomination is just wow, win or lose I still feel like a winner tonight."
"That's good to hear, Christian how proud are you of your wife?"
"So proud, always so proud." He smiles down at me and I grin, he can make me feel like everything is perfect no matter how bad things really are.
Once inside we're shown to our seat and it's not long before we have some drinks and are joined by Tito and Lila who I asked to join us rather than anyone else, I mean they're the one who made me into an artist, their amazing work did it.
I don't like being sat here like in a theatre though, it's strange. I mean to be sitting in a theatre for an awards show in LA, even though I've done it before, it just feels like a dream.
Lady Gaga kicks off the show with an amazing performance, damn I wish I had that woman's talent even if her costumes are a bit on the extreme side, tonight her voice is just amazing and she was most definitely singing live, she messed up once or twice but that didn't matter, her voice is just pure and spectacular and no one gave a damn about her making a small mistake or two.
Christian's hand is in mine and throughout the song he would glance in my direction, it was nice to share a smile with him in a darkened theatre and he every once or twice will reach over and put his free hand on my bump, I already know the cameras surrounding us has captured that more than once and most definitely the sneaky kiss I gave him which caused the fans in the place to cheer, whoops!
Of course, the opening explosion has set the barrier for tonight's performances and I'm not surprise that it was wacky and wild, over a hundred dancers holding pyro's!
As they announce the people performing I smile as my name is announced, it's so exciting and then of course Ryan Seacrest is announced as the presenter and I smile, I'm glad he got this gig, Mia did mention on the possibly wouldn't get it but he did and that is amazing for him.
He announces the first award, for favourite pop/rock male artist and as the winner is announced and the place goes wild I get a real feel for how tonight is going to play out. The energy is completely electric and it's just shocking and a great experience.
It's actually quite shocking how fast the show goes by, I enjoy watching these people win and see the amazing over the top performances. I know Tito has something up his sleeve for my performance but I told him I'm sitting on a stool and singing and that's it, so whatever he has planned will not involve me actually doing anything.
"Baby they need me in the back." Christian whispers in my ear as Carly Rose Sonenclair performs on stage.
"Why?" I frown, I know it's not long till the award is up.
"I don't know, I won't be long baby." He kisses my head and jumps out of his seat and Tito takes it while someone else takes his seat so that no seat is left empty.
I watch the rest of Pink perform and then they announce they will be giving the award for New Artist of the Year.
"To present the award for New Artist of the Year introducing Mia Seacrest and Christian Grey, brother and Sister married to showbiz."
I am in complete shock as Christian and Mia walk out arm in arm all smiling, I can't believe they hid this for me! It's shocking!
"Christian and I are proud to be here tonight presenting the award to the New Artist of the Year."
"Yeah it's just coincidence that we drew this award to present and my wife and Mia's sister-in-law is in the category but baby win or lose I'm proud of you." He looks right at me even in the darkness I know he sees me and I smile.
"The nominees are…"
"Ana, Carly Rose, Joseph Tate and Loosing Stars"
"And the winner is…"
Mia opens the cell phone where the name of the winner will be and I find my breath holding, the smiles spread on both Mia and Christian's faces before they turn the phone around.
"Ana!"
I look up as tears instantly spring to my eyes, I don't want to cry, no one has cried yet tonight. Tito helps me to my feet and gives me a hug and I hug Lila quickly before making my way to the stage, luckily I had an aisle seat because there is no way I could struggle through an aisle with my bump.
I walk to the stage and greet Christian in a kiss before hugging Mia and accepting the pyramid glass trophy and take to the mic.
"Wow." I say. "Sorry, hormones!" I near sing as I wipe my tears. "To win New Artist of the Year voted by the fans I can only say thank you so much to everyone who voted. To have the award presented to me by two of the important people in my life has just made it even more special. I need to thank everyone at Grey Records, Lila, Tito you guys are amazing, everyone in my ever growing family, thank you for your love and support but with happiness comes tragedy and Hannah this is for you my friend, thank you so much everyone." Christian steps forward to lead me off the stage and I breathe easier able to let the tears out, not ones of sadness or sorrow but happiness. I'm so thankful that I got through the speech!
I get to change now and hang out backstage till my performance and Mia and Christian stay with me as long as they can before they're asked to go back to their seats so they won't miss my performance.
I am lead to a side stage, the main stage has been split into three with millions of screens so basically as soon as the next award winner is off the stage the screen lifts and I'm ready to perform. I take my seat and make my ear piece comfortable, I'm not even really sitting on the stool, just leaning on it so that I appear to be sitting, my bump won't allow me to sit and sing.
The music begins and the crowd goes wild as the screen lifts.
"What wouldn't I give to see your eyes, turn to look at me and look right through my disguise…" I lose myself to the song, completely forgetting where I am and who is here. This song is for Hannah, this will be the last time I sing it in public because my heart can't take the ache singing it causes.
I feel things going on around me but I don't notice any of it, focusing on the song, the memories of my friend and PA. I miss her so much and singing this song has me choked up but somehow I know it's not coming out in my voice, I feel the pitch perfect in my chest, coming out of my mouth.
I finish the song and bow my head, the place is going wild and I just exhale and hold my bump hoping the screen will come down but it doesn't. I turn expecting someone to say something or do something but no one does, the cheers continue and I stand and look out to the crowd and I smile, they're cheering not for me, but for the stranger in the song.
I take a small bow of thanks before finally the screen comes down and block out the cheers and applause leaving me with a second to take a breath and send my love to Hannah before talking the solitary walk off.
Christian meets me when I get back to my seat and he kisses me softly before I settle my head on his shoulder to watch the rest of the ceremony. When it's finally done, after an explosive performance from One Direction that had us all on our feet dancing, I'm ready for bed but we have an after party to go to.
We take a limo from the Nokia Centre to Ryan and Mia's LA Mansion and we have a drink and some food while mingling. The house is stunning, I can already see how Mia has put in some of herself because some of the décor is not what Ryan would go for.
"Ana!" Mia shouts and Christian and I head over to where she and Ryan are standing. "You were amazing, everyone was crying when you sang that song, it was so beautiful!" She gushed hugging me tight.
"Aww thanks." Is all I can manage because I don't really want to talk about it.
"Ana you had a one minute standing ovation, that hasn't happened at the AMA's in a long time, congratulations." Ryan smiles, it seems that maybe my performance is more important for my win.
"Ana you look tired." Mia says quietly and I give her a tired smile.
"Exhausted." I manage.
"Go, you've been and shown your faces, you get to bed and get some sleep."
"Are you sure?" I ask my sister-in-law, I know she and Ryan have been working hard on this after-party and I hate to ditch.
"I'm sure. Christian take your wife back to the hotel and I'll see you both at thanksgiving."
After a quick goodbye I get to go with Christian to bed to celebrate my win in our own way.
If you haven't yet, please check out my new Fifty Shades Fan Fic SINS – it's not for everyone – you were warned!
