I do not own the Fate series or any of its character.
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And special thanks to UCC Master, Worldbringer of Joseun, Fall2Glory, and Jesus-The-Devil for their reviews.
This chapter comes at the request of Fall2Glory, I hope they like it :)
Mordred and Gudako were sitting on one of the window benches in a random hallway, Gudako was trying to teach Mordred how to play Fire Emblem.
"Master! Mordred!" Called a haughty voice, the two looked up from their serious lesson to see Caster Gilgamesh and Lancer Artoria coming towards them. "Settle a little tiff Artoria and I are having." The Babylonian servant commanded.
"Be honest Gilgamesh, it's not a tiff it's a row." Artoria said coldly.
Gilgamesh folded his hands over his chest and cast her a side look, "And now it's a scene."
"It's okay, my kings," gudako spoke up, waving her hands to make sure she had their attention, "we really don't want to get involved in your relationship problems."
Mordred had their back to the other servants but was facing Gudako, so the master was the only one who caught Mordred's we don't? expression.
"It's not personal," Gilgamesh assured the red head, "it's a math problem."
"Pass." Gudako replied blandly at the same time Mordred perked up, not many were aware of this, but the knight of treachery was a wiz with numbers.
"Gilgamesh and I had dinner together for the first time in two weeks thanks to the last farming event." Artoria explained in her usual monotone.
"And Artoria thought it would be fun to spoil our date with an inane math problem, to which her answer is wrong." Gilgamesh directed the last line rather pointedly at his partner.
"Enough foreplay, let's get to the numbers." Mordred piped up, a little anxious at the sight of the argument.
"It's the 'Monty Hall' problem," Gilgamesh explained, "imagine your on a game show, there are three doors, behind one of which is a car-"
"You're telling it all wrong," Artoria cut him off, "there are three doors, behind one of which is a car." She explained in an identical fashion. "You pick a door, and then the host, who knows where the car is, opens another door showing you there's nothing behind it, now the host asks you if you want to open the other un-open door, should you do it?"
"No!" Gilgamesh stated.
"Yes!" Artoria shot back in exasperation.
"It's simple math!" They both shouted in unison.
"It doesn't make sense to switch, it's a fifty-fifty chance either way." Gilgamesh argued, now only looking to Artoria.
"It's two thirds if you switch, one third if you don't, the probability doesn't kick in until you make the choice. We've been over this eight times." Artoria sounded like an annoyed teacher.
"Seven times," Gil corrected smugly, "now you can't even do simple addition."
During all of this Mordred had worn a thoughtful expression as they ran over the problem in their head, when their was finally a lull in the 'conversation', the blonde knight looked up sheepishly.
"Father is right." He told them almost reluctantly.
There was a beat of silence, Artoria looked over to Gilgamesh with a self satisfied smirk, while the casters face was practically blank.
He stuck one arm out and pointed a finger at Mordred, "You're grounded." He told her before storming off, exit stage left pursued by a Lion king.
"Hah!" Gudako laughed at the chalky colour Mordred's face turned.
:::
Gudako and Jekyll sat on either side of Mordred for lunch that day. The saber was throwing anxious glances over at the table where Caster Gilgamesh was eating with Circe and Ozymandias (Nursery Rhyme was there too, casters gotta stick together), lancer Artoria was on a farming mission with Ritsuka, Mash and Bedivere.
"Okay," Mordred announced, "we have to explain this thing to lancer-father and save their relationship."
Jekyll slung his arm around Mordred, "And you laughed when we went to Da Vinci's math seminar." He said to his master.
"Because you called 'funky cats and their feisty stats'." Gudako informd him around her mouth of couscous.
"That was the name!" He cheered, "It was so cool!"
Gudako swallowed her mouthful and looked him dead in the eyes, meaning these next words from the bottom of her soul, "It was not."
She turned her attention back to her plate before continuing, "Anyway, it's not about the math. They haven't seen each other in weeks because of all these missions, they just need to bone."
"What? Gross!" Mordred shrieked, "master, those are my dads! I-I mean one of them is my dad, a version of my dad- The other's just-just-"
"Wow." Gudako chuckled.
"Never mind! I'm teaching father's the math." The knight jumped to their feet, then spotted the growing smirk on their masters face, "Whatever."
:::
Caster Gilgamesh was in the library when a sigh drew his attention to Mordred, who was on their hands and knees on the ground.
"Is everything okay?" He asked.
"No, I can't find my ring." The knight replied.
"Well did you see where it went?" He asked, moving around to the desk Mordred was looking around.
"Actually," Mordred reached beneath the desk, and brought up a model of three multicoloured doors, "it's behind one of these doors, would you care to pick one?"
The Babylonian king stiffened, an unreadable shadow fell over his face, "Are you trying to Monty Hall me?" He asked incredulously, "This is unbelievable. I don't need Monty Hall ruining my personal sanctuary, when it's already ruining the time I have with Artoria."
"Come on king," The two servants spun around to see Gudako lounging in one of the chairs, re-reading one of her Naruto paperbacks. "All these missions are keeping you and Artoria apart, you two just need to bone."
Mordred squeaked, Gilgamesh's face screwed up, "What did you just say?" he gasped.
"Please don't say it again." Mordred whispered.
"I said you two just need to bone." Gudako said again, regardless.
The king of Uruk sucked in a deep breath, "How... dare you, I am your king!"
5 minutes later
"BONE!" The shout echoed around the library, prompting everyone nearby to slowly back away.
10 minutes later
Gilgamesh was leaning over the table, right into Gudako's face, "What happen's in my bedroom is none of your business." he told her sternly.
12minutes later
Mordred and Gudako stared at Gilgamesh, who was now standing between two bookcases, hands braced on them as if he needed support.
"Bone?!" He hollered.
16 minutes later
"Never speak to me that way again." He scolded the red head before storming out of the library, letting the doors bang loudly.
Everyone who had also been in the library began to peak out from behind the tables and bookcases like frightened wildlife. Mordred looked over to Gudako who was still sitting in her chair, having only slouched down in it during Gilgamesh's biting off of her head.
"Why did you do that?" Mordred asked in a chastised voice.
"Dude was pent up." Gudako replied flatly, "Now he knows. Problem solved." With that the master went back to her reading.
:::
Two days later, everyone was getting into summer mood. Mordred and Gudako were heading down to the pool to see if surfing was covered by the riding skill, when they passed Caster Gilgamesh, striding down the hall in his summer garb.
"I heard you reserved the indoor beach." Gudako called out.
"Artoria and I heve plans to enjoy our day off." Was his brief answer, not pausing in his stride.
"So you two aren't fighting anymore?" Mordred asked excitedly.
"Yep." He called over his shoulder without looking back.
"So you understand the math now?" The blonde continued.
"Nope."
"So you guys-" Gudako began to ask, but Gilgamesh quickly cut her off.
"Yep!" And then he was out of sight.
Gudako smirked and then leaned over to whisper in Mordred's ear, "See, what happened is your dad's had sex."
Mordred wordlessly squirmed away, but discomfort was written all over their face. "Okay master." They mumbled.
A.N: I've found that chapters with Mordred are a bit of a double edged sword, because on one hand, yay Mordred! But on the other hand... pronouns. I feel like I keep flip flopping on how I refer to them. I know they don't care for being refered to as female, but they also seem to present as a feminine manner. I don't want to get political here, but I'm curious, how do you think I should refer to Mordred?
