Takes place after HTTYD 2, but before The Hidden World. Enjoy! :)
Try is All
She was pondering, her chin resting her hand, her elbow on the tabletop, and her other hand twirling a pencil around against the wood.
She hadn't slept in almost two days now, but, Hiccup was still worse. She swore he hadn't closed his eyes in a week, and it showed. He had bags under his half-lidded eyes. His eyebrows were low over his eyes, his hair was messy and dirty, and his bad foot dragged. He looked horrible, and it bothered her more then words could say.
She'd tried to get him to sleep. She'd even gotten to the point of begging- and she never begged- and still he refused. When she asked why, was it because he was grief-stricken? "You're running yourself into the ground, Hiccup. It'll be the death of you." She insisted, grabbing at his hand as he tried to push past her.
"Hiccup, please listen."
"I can't, Astrid, I can't." He'd practically sobbed. He hid his face in the crook of his elbow, his shoulders shaking. "Everytime I close my eyes, I see it all again. And it always ends the same way, Astrid. He dies, right in front of me, and I had a chance to save him, but I didn't. I- I can't keep seeing that, Astrid."
She wasn't the only one who tried, either. Toothless would attempt to envelope him in his wings, tucking his head above his. But Hiccup would crawl out, telling Toothless what he'd told her. The poor distressed dragon eventually began avoiding Hiccup, cringing whenever he passed. The poor thing was probably as grieved as Hiccup was, both laden down with guilt.
Valka had spoken to her, as had some of the other's in the gang. Even Tuffnut had noticed. "He's not looking so great." He'd said, rubbing his chin. "His eyebrows are starting to touch his eyeballs. Is that healthy?"
"No, it definitely isn't." Ruffnut countered.
But no ammount of telling or begging or bribing would get Hiccup to lay down. She was beginning to think he'd go until he dropped unconcious or died, whichever happened first.
But she knew he needed help. And she wanted to give it to him before he made himself sick. Toothless hummed by her side, his tail twitching. His wide green eyes studied her hopefully.
"I'm thinking." She muttered. She twiddled the pencil again before dropping it onto the table. It's thunk echoed throughout the empty Hall, making it sound louder then it really was. Toothless twitched his ear flaps.
Finally, she heaved a heavy sigh and leaned back against the dragon's wing, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Toothless, what do we do? Nothing has worked so far, I just-" She dragged her hands down her face, letting them rest at her chest. She stared up at the ceiling, her tired mind begging for sleep.
She slid off the bench, almost falling back onto it when her legs threatened to give out beneath her. Resting a hand on Toothless' head, she said, "Let's go find the Chief now, shall we?" The dragon hummed and followed close by her side as the two slowly made their way outdoors.
She took her time walking through the quiet village. Everyone was asleep- besides an occasional night guard. But besides that, the only signs of life were a few dragons who shifted from their sleeping posts above the huts. It was calm and peaceful, as if everything was all right. If only it was.
She didn't even realize she was walking towards the Forge until she stood outside it's door. And, sure enough, she could see a faint light shining through the broken window.
She stepped inside the open door and narrowed her eyes against the dim light. No one was in the Forge itself, even though a stubby candle flickered warily. Her eyes settled on the door to Hiccup's little room he used for "brain storming" and the light that shone beneath the wood.
She picked her way to it, and only paused outside a moment before opening it.
She peaked inside. Hiccup sat hunched over his desk, his hand slowly scratching something onto a parchment. Either he didn't know she was there, or he did and was too bone-tired to acknowledge her.
"Hiccup?" She asked quietly. He glanced up through the hair hanging over his eyes.
"Mm, Astrid?" He graveled. His voice was deeper than normal, as well as slow and garbled. It was getting to the point where she couldn't understand what he said at times. "Iz somethin' wrong?"
Yes. "No." She'd long since given up on pointing out his obvious self mistreatment. They both knew it, so what was the point of bringing it up? Rather, she silently slipped inside, leaving the door open so Toothless could look in, though he himself couldn't fit in the room without knocking the table over. The poor dragon lowered his head, his eyes flicking from the floor to Hiccup, then back to the floor. He was curled into himself as if trying to make himself appear as small as possible.
Hiccup looked past her and gave a small smile. "Hey, bud." Toothless hummed sadly.
She went to stand behind him, hesitated, then gently set her hand on his shoulder. He shuddered beneath her hand, but still didn't look up. He continued writing.
No on said anything, until she couldn't hold it in anymore. Hiccup's head kept dipping, but before it fell on the table he'd jerk back to attention, his body tense, then continue whatever it was he was doing.
"Hiccup-" She said.
"Hmm..?" He kept writing.
Desperately, She grabbed his wrist. He came to a halt, his breath labored. She turned and crouched down to his level, trying to look into his eyes. "Hiccup, please… please listen this time."
His watery eyes met hers, his lips parted. But he didn't say anything, he just stared distantly.
"Hiccup, look at you. You're… you're falling apart." She lifted a hand to his hair, running it through until it stopped behind his ear. He let out a little sigh, his head pressing against her palm. His eyelids fluttered. He radiated heat, which worried her.
"You're making yourself sick." She whispered. Toothless warbled in agreement. "You need to rest."
"Mm'cant." He mumbled, his eyes closed.
She leaned closer and kissed his forehead. "I'll help you. I'll stay with you, and if you show any signs of a nightmare I'll wake you."
He shook, his mouth pressed in a thin line. He suddenly leaned forward and hid his face against her shoulder, nearly falling out of the chair on top of her.
Toothless scooted forward, pressing his sides between the wall and the table as he rumbled in concern. With his help, they managed to lead Hiccup into the Forge by the dying fire, where Toothless pressed the two humans against his side, his body warm and comforting.
Hiccup was curled against Astrid's side, his body shaking like a leaf in the wind. When she shifted, the cold air hit her shoulder and she jolted. Her shoulder was wet.
"Hiccup, Hiccup-" She whispered over and over again. She pressed her face against Hiccup's hair. He heaved, letting a little sob cut the air.
"I'm sorry, Astrid, I'm sorry I just can't I-" He rambled nonsense, things that made no sense. One of his arms covered his face while the other gripped her hand against his chest.
She shushed him, rocking back and forth while she hummed an old rhyme her mother had sung to her as a child. Slowly, Hiccup's shaking began to cease, and his sobs turned to sniffs.
"I'm sorry." He murmured again, but his voice sounded distant, like he wasn't truly there.
"Shh." She hummed. "You don't need to apologize. Just rest."
It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. They hadn't rested there for five minutes and he was already long gone. His breathing became heavier and even, his body less tense. Toothless seemed to sense it, for he himself relaxed beneath them, letting out a little sigh.
Once Astrid had Hiccup situated comfortably against Toothless' wing, she curled up against his side, her head tucked beneath his chin. She had her ear pressed above his heart, where she could feel his every inhale and exhale. Soon, with relief pressing behind her eyes, she too drifted off to sleep.
