XXI
"This will be our last meeting before you leave for Raleigh," Dr Wade said.
"Yeah," Sid nodded, his forearms resting on his knees and his hands clasped.
"How do your parents feel about the decision?"
"Mom doesn't want me to move. She doesn't think I'm ready, but I feel like I am. I mean, yeah, I fucked up before, but I've been doing a lot better lately. I haven't cut or anything since... yeah. I guess she's just worried about me, but it makes me feel like she doesn't trust me."
"And your father?"
"I dunno, I think he's still pissed at me because he was going to give me a promotion at the garage, but God, I don't fucking know, it pisses me off that he can't see I'm trying to better myself and do what I want. I don't want to be stuck in a place that holds so many bad memories for me. Nadine makes me so happy, why should I deny myself something that makes me feel alive?"
"Maybe they're thinking you're doing it all for Nadine, and they don't want to see you be left with nothing if the relationship ends," Dr Wade said.
"I'm not doing it all for her, I'm doing it for me and us. I really don't want what I have with her to end, but if it did, I'd just have to think about it and remember it for all the happy memories it gave me. Nadine's taught me how to enjoy life again, and that's something I never want to forget, even if I have to enjoy life without her."
Dr Wade smiled a little, "That's a very mature thing to say, Sid. You've made a lot of progress since you started seeing me, and I'm very glad for that."
Sid nodded and rubbed his hands together, thinking for a second. He really had made progress. It astounded him, because he never thought that he would be able to feel like this, to feel happy, ever again. He savoured every second of it, because it was such a stark contrast to the emptiness, the despair, and the pain he had felt for so long.
"I'm glad I have too," Sid said, looking up and giving Dr Wade a gentle smile.
