A/N:
I finally recovered the files. It took almost 3 years, but here is the original copy of chapter fifty three, spell fails and all. I'm back, guys. I've got my outlines for old and new fanfics and I can't wait to start writing. Expect updates for Vengeful Star in the new year, alright?
For the new readers, I hope this ending doesn't disappoint.
Chapter Fifty Three
"Bella," Charlie shook me awake.
I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I had been sleeping soundly for once. My bedroom light was on, blinding me.
I squinted and made out Charlie's face. He was sitting on my bed, shoulders hunched over. His eyes were stormy.
An unmistakable pang of dread knocked me breathless. "Dad?"
Charlie reached for my hand and squeezed.
"Honey, it's Sam."
Most of the grief I felt was real, but Jasper was doing too good of a job.
The tears poured down relentlessly as they lowered the coffin into the ground.
Edward was silent as he took me in his arms. His grip tightened around me and I pushed my arms around his to hold him.
Even with the crying crowd around me, something in me felt whole as Edward held me.
The hug was broken all too soon.
Edward's eyes searched for mine. "Bella," he murmured. He and the rest of the Cullens looked like grieving angels in black.
I looked up at him to gaze up at his eyes. They were gold, just as gold as they were at my goodbye party.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
I nodded and ran a hand over my eyes. I looked around at the sorrowful faces and looked back over at Edward.
"He'd want everyone to be happy." My voice was hoarse. His mom had seen his videos, even his last one with me. I only knew this when she tried to make corny jokes, broke into tears, and ran to hug me.
Edward's unblinking eyes were clear.
"You're right," he said, taking me by the arm. Edward's gaze went to the funeral attendees. "He would."
I knew Sam was fine, knew it deep down that he was okay, but the grief Jasper had created inside me did not go away.
It hit me one day when I was grabbing a plate for dinner that a part of Sam did die.
"Bella!" Charlie cried out. The plate had smashed to bits. I backed away instinctively into Charlie's arms.
I turned my head away and held my breath as Charlie grabbed the broom. His eyes went to me.
"You okay?"
I shake my head, feeling the tears start. I ran upstairs and buried myself in the comforter, hiding the sobs.
I even dreamed about it.
"You still down?" Jacob asked as he started his motorcycle up.
I nodded. The grief was too so sharp and then knowing that I was never going to see him again. . .
"He's alive," Jacob said. My eyes go to him and he specifies. "Not like us, you know. But Sam is still here."
I swallowed hard and tried to picture it. I couldn't imagine vampire Sam, not anymore. All I could see was someone pale and cold, so beautiful it hurt, and with an unfamiliar face.
A chill went down my spine.
Jacob patted me on the back. "You really liked him, huh?"
"I didn't realize it until the funeral." I said. I gave Jacob a fearful look. "I don't like him like that, but-"
"I get it." Jacob said. "Who didn't like him?"
I wiped at my burning eyes and looked at Jacob, apologetic. "What a sucky last day."
Jacob patted me on the back. "Let's go to the beach."
We held hands on the way down. I found our spot and sat down, wiping my eyes.
Sam is fine, I told myself. He's probably hunting right now.
Jacob squeezed my hand. "Everything's going to be okay."
I looked over at Jacob, trying to make a smile form. The last thing Jacob wanted to remember was me crying over someone else.
I sucked it up and said, "Jacob, can you give me a few days?"
"Can you wait a few days to go?" Jacob asked.
I nodded, trying to be nonchalant. "Planes fly to Arizona all the time."
Jacob smiled and gave me a one-armed hug. My gaze drifted out to the elephant walking on the water.
"I know you won't feel a hundred percent," he said, "but you know he's okay, right?"
"I know."
"You know, it can't be all that bad." Logan mumbled. "Sam gets to spend eternity with the Cullens girls."
"You mean Alice and Rosalie?"
Logan looked at me, sheepish. "I forgot their names."
Lizzie smiled wryly. Emily wasn't here. I didn't know why, but Logan and Lizzie didn't try to explain. Maybe she's still mad like everyone else. No one liked the truce Leah and Seth were trying to enforce. I understood all too well.
"You're not still moving are you?" I asked Lizzie. I narrowed my eyes, willing to make her feel guilty. "Esme paid for your tuition."
"In that case, no." Lizzie said, looking down.
Logan was aghast. "You were really going to move?"
"Yes."
Logan's eyes went to me, his mouth agape with shock. He looked away, looking guilty. "Well, damn."
"It was a really bad move, Logan." Lizzie mumbled.
"Running away-"
"Speaking of running!" I chimed. "Let's talk about-"
"Bella," Lizzie huffed, "do you even know any track stars?"
I shook my head. "Tell me some."
Lizzie and Logan exchanged a glance.
"Really?" One of Logan's dark eyebrows arched.
I nodded half-heartedly. Better than talking about mistakes we can't fix.
Logan narrowed his eyes. "You're not serious."
"I have to be if I'm going to be running in college-"
Lizzie and Logan burst into laughter before I finished. I grinned, glad that they didn't take me seriously.
"You don't run," Lizzie giggled.
I glared at her playfully. "I could."
"No, you can't." Logan guffawed. "Jessica has told me all about your athletic misadventures."
"Athletic!" I pointed out.
"Misadventures," Logan specified.
I crossed my arms and smiled when Lizzie's giggles ebbed away.
Seriousness darkened her face. "What are you going to major in?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea. To be honest, I don't think I'm college material."
"Then why are you going?" Logan demanded.
I gave the two of them a sly look. "What would I do if I wasn't in college?"
Logan and Lizzie leaned forward, eyes blank with thought.
"You could paint like your mom," Lizzie said at the same time Logan said, "You could become a lifeguard."
I pointed at Lizzie. "No artistic skills." I turned to Logan. "Can't swim."
Logan's eyes narrowed. "You can't swim?"
"Well." I added. "I can't swim well."
Sadness filled Lizzie's eyes. "There goes Jacob's surprise."
"What?" I asked at the same time Logan nudged Lizzie hard with his elbow.
"Nothing," Logan said quickly.
I looked at the two of them. Realization dawned.
"Jacob was going to take me cliff diving?!"
Logan groaned, "Damn it!" at the same time Lizzie nodded, ashamed.
"Liz ruined it?" Jacob echoed.
I nodded, sheepish.
"Well, let's grab the bikes then." Jacob said.
Half an hour later, we were on a stretch of dirt road. Jacob spent the first hour teaching me how to ride, turn, and then we were off.
We zoomed up and down the road. We raced down on our bikes first. Then we hopped off the bikes to try running on our own two feet.
"You still got two left feet!" Jacob laughed when I landed on my face.
"Shut up!" I rolled onto my back. I gazed up at the blue sky, breathless and happy. The sun shone in my eyes, making me close them.
"Are you okay?" Jacob asked nearby.
I opened my eyes, a huge smile on my face. "I am perfectly fine."
Jacob's face came into view. For a moment, he just gazed down at me, entranced.
"What?"
He didn't answer at first. "Smiles look good on you."
I guffawed and grabbed his arm, pulling him down with me. We held hands and gazed up at the sky, watching the clouds float by.
"I wish I could freeze time." Jacob said beside me. "I'd never let this moment end."
I smiled and murmured, "Shush. Don't ruin it."
"Don't ruin it?" Jacob echoed. I turned my head to see him gazing at me. His warm, so dark brown eyes were so beautiful in that moment. They looked at me in the softest way, like I was the sweetest, most beautiful thing he had ever seen and ever would see.
I smiled.
"Bella," Jacob said, "I'm about to ruin the moment."
The smile faded. "How?"
Jacob leaned forward and squeezed my hand tighter.
"I'm about to say I love you." He sighed. "And I do."
I squeezed his hand back. "I love you too."
Jacob looked like he was about to say more, but he didn't. He laid back onto his back and looked up at the sky again.
"You know something?"
The breeze was cool against my skin, making me close my eyes.
"What, Jake?" My voice was soft.
Jacob sounded awed when he said, "That's enough."
I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me again.
He smiled a bright smile, the ones before Sam Uley.
"For once, Bells, it's enough."
Jacob walked me back to the truck with heavy, reluctant steps. He was going to let my motorcycle sit in the garage until I got back.
We had driven to the beach on our motorcycles before we raced out to the ocean and splashed each other until we were soaked.
Then we took a seat on our spot, hands still painfully, blissfully entwined, and watched the sun set.
"You know, I dreamed about making you wait another day." I said in the quiet.
Jacob sounded like he was smirking. "Sounds like you."
I hit him with my helmet. "You said yes."
Jacob smiled. "Sounds like me."
I nodded and smiled.
Jacob looked at the helmet in my hands and gently took it from me, looking down. I looked up at him to see his eyes growing misty in the light of the dome light.
"Aw, Jake," I murmured and pulled him into a hug. "I promise to visit."
Jacob wrapped his arms around me, his chest heaved for one second, before he said:
"Please come back."
I looked up at the stars past his hair.
"I will."
Something went plink! on my window.
I sat up, half-asleep. I crawled off the bed and squinted.
My jaw dropped and several emotions went through me at once. All positive, powerful emotions.
There were tears on my cheeks when I opened the window.
"Edward?"
He looked up at me with a smile.
"May I come up?"
I staggered backwards, wiping my eyes.
"O-Of course."
Edward didn't say anything the entire time. He just laid on my bed, smiling at me as I kept wiping away the tears that never stopped.
"All this time," Edward murmured in the quiet, "I've been trying to find something to say if I stepped foot in here again."
He chuckled quietly. "I'm speechless."
I grabbed his icy cold hands. My mind was very quiet. No thoughts were stirring. I was so present in that moment, I couldn't think of anything.
"I wanted to bring you this." Edward said, pulling a folded sheet of paper from his breast pocket. "You don't have to ever read it-"
"But I will." I said.
Edward sounded like he was smiling. "What if I told you not to?"
"I'd still read it." I said.
"Stubborn." Edward commented in a knowing tone. I smiled and looked down at his hand.
"Please, Bella," I looked up, "read it before you hop on the plane tomorrow?"
I nodded.
Then we fell silent again in the already silent, calm night.
He had to leave at dawn.
"Please be safe." Edward asked, holding me by my shoulders. "Don't be reckless or stupid or stubborn if agreement will save your life. Of course, Alice will see any danger that might come your way, so someone will rescue you, if not me."
I smiled. "I promise."
Edward's face was calm, but I could see the agony surfacing.
"Don't. . ." Another warning fell on his lips, but he swallowed it like it was vinegar.
"Be safe, Bella." Edward said, pulling me into a tight hug. "And find someone who you don't mind spending the rest of your life with. If Alice tells me that you're divorcing that man, I will come swoop you up. And you don't want me to do that."
This smile was painful, because in that moment, I did.
"If Sam doesn't first," Edward said suddenly.
I pulled away from his arms, confused. "Sam?"
Someone cried out in an brass. "Hi, Bella!"
I squeaked in shock and delight. I ran to the window, Edward not far behind me, and I stared down.
Sam looked amazing. He was still pale, he actually looked like he hadn't changed in that aspect. I couldn't see the color of his eyes, but I knew they were an interesting shade of gold and crimson. Maybe they looked like Riley's.
He was dressed in very simple clothes. He had on plaid, which wasn't surprising.
What was surprising, along with him being here with Edward to say goodbye, was that he remembered me.
"Quick, my favorite color!" I hissed.
Sam smiled, his teeth glimmered in the moonlight, "Topaz, blue, and then some sort of purple."
I put my hand over my mouth to cover my scream. Beyond excited, I cried.
"What do I smell like?"
Sam looked confused. "Uh, strawberries."
"No, how good do I smell?" I lifted one foot over the window, ready to jump out. Edward grabbed my flying arms. "I'm coming down!"
Shocked flooded Sam's face. "What?"
I pulled at Edward's shirt. "I need your help."
Edward chuckled and pulled me into his arms. I was on the ground in the next seconds.
I ran straight to Sam and he hugged me tightly.
"You missed me," he said, astonished, in that delightfully pleasant voice.
"I told you I would." I was crying. Again. "I'm going to miss everyone."
Sam laughed and Edward joined in.
"Bella, I don't have an epipen with me." Sam warned.
I ignored his words, laughing tearfully, and squeezed him tighter.
Today was the best day of my life.
Charlie waved a hand in front of my face. "You okay?"
I nodded, looking back down at the coffee in my hand. "Yes."
"You going to be okay to leave?" Charlie asked, sounding concerned.
I looked back up at Charlie and nodded again. He still thought I was bummed about Sam. I wasn't, not anymore. The tears of grief would come, but for now, I was calm. Peaceful.
Like the waters of the beach against the cliff I never jumped off of on a sunny day.
"College will distract me."
Charlie's brown eyes did not approve, but they grew soft as he leaned forward to peck me on the forehead.
"I love you, Bells."
I smiled and said, "I love you too, Dad."
I took out the folded paper out of my back pocket.
"Bella," it read, "everyone sends their love. This letter is very short. There are so many things I want to say. I have the time to write it down, but you would be long gone when I finished."
I smiled.
"You are the best part of my life. I don't want to ever hear that you were harmed or mishandled while you are away from me. I can't believe that you are going, but all things considered, I am glad that you are."
"I like to say that we will meet again, but I am not so sure. I will miss you terribly, as will everyone else that has said goodbye. I will say goodbye as well. I couldn't say in it person, simply because it is too hard to. Sometimes it is easier to write your feelings than to say them. Remember when I asked if I could give you something that you couldn't return?"
The last line made me tear up.
"My gift to you is my love, Bella. I will love you many more days than forever."
I looked up at the bell for my flight sounded.
I stood up, carefully folded the note in my pocket, and boarded the plane.
My thoughts were full of love.
Warm soda cans in a hot garage, small bowls of ice cream in a diner, the beautiful crystal heart on my bracelet, a red motorcycle helmet, beach supplies, pictures of new furniture, and a can of spray tan.
I closed my eyes as I sank back into my seat.
A/N:
There it is, folks. I'll see ya in 2018.
My social handles are on my profile. ;)
-KHW
