Sebastian turned up at Sophie's house for boxing as usual, bag slung over one shoulder housing his beloved boxing gloves from Ben. He was filled with a certain resolve, a fire in his blood. Today he was going to stop lying. He was going to face up to what he was once and for all.

Sophie answered the door with a grin and let him into the house.

"Happy birthday!" she said brightly. "Newt left a card for you with me. You're so lucky you weren't at school today. We had double maths. It was so boring, even Newt lost interest."

Chattering away, Sophie led Sebastian into the living room. Ben was waiting there, sprawled out in one of the armchairs. When he saw Sebastian he got to his feet and grinned at him.

"Birthday boy," he greeted, reaching out to shake his hand. Sebastian couldn't help but smirk. Ben's grip was firm and solid. He patted Sebastian on the back in a manly impression of a hug and then let him go.

"I'll leave you two to it," Sophie said, already strolling off. "Seb, we have ice cream and cake. When you're done with the training, we'll eat? Okay? And I can't wait for you to see the present. Newt chose it, but don't worry, it's pretty good."

Ben and Sebastian were left alone.

"Come on then, Blondie. Let's get going," Ben prompted, heading off to the basement, Sebastian at his heels.

"So, fifteen," Ben commented as he watched Sebastian attacking the punch bag. "Too slow, Seb. You're letting your guard down. I thought you told me you were ambidextrous? Good. Very good. That's right."

Sebastian listened to his instructions and did as he was told.

"Yeah, sixteen next," Seb said, panting as he spoke. He hit the punch bag so hard it almost ripped. Ben clapped his hands together in appreciation and laughed, throwing his head back confidently.

Sebastian wiped his arm across his forehead to get rid of the sweat and grinned as well.

"I'm thinking I've done a Merlin," Ben commented good-naturedly.

"A Merlin?"

"C'mon, Blondie. Sophie says you read all about King Arthur."

"I do," Sebastian admitted, surprised Ben knew that piece of information about him. "My mum left me Le Morte d'Arthur."

"You're the Lady of the Lake to my Merlin," Ben offered.

Sebastian understood that well enough. He beamed, showing his teeth.

"You reckon now you've taught me all you know I'm gonna beat you?"

"Could do," Ben agreed.

Sebastian was feeling brave today, full of purpose. So he smirked.

"Want to test the theory?"

Ben looked surprised, but nodded his head, impressed.

"You think you can take me?"

"I know I could," Sebastian responded confidently. It was an act, the whole confidence thing, but who was to know? If Jim could act a part when he wanted to, then so could Seb.

Ben laughed again, a sound which made Sebastian's heart pound, and then he went to put on his red boxing gloves.

"I'll go easy on you," Ben told Sebastian as he approached him again, already getting a new spring in his step, the one Sebastian knew meant he was ready to perform.

"Rules?" Sebastian asked, trying to draw himself up to his full height. He didn't look as impressive as Ben, he knew, but he wanted to try. He was more still than the other boy, taller now. While Ben moved swiftly when he fought, bobbing around, performing like he had an audience, Sebastian usually kept his eyes on his target, trying to second guess them, only moving at the last second, his face a mask, giving nothing away.

"If you can punch me in the face in five minutes," Ben decided. "Then you win. Think you're up to it?"

Sebastian nodded his head. He was ready.

"You bet."

"Good man," Ben praised. He glanced at the clock, checking the time, and then nodded. "Whenever you're ready, Blondie. Give it all you've got."

It was a much harder task than it seemed. Ben was quick and he was experienced. Every time Sebastian got close enough to throw a punch, Ben shifted out of the way or suddenly sent a punch of his own out. A light one that didn't aim to majorly wound that hit Sebastian in the stomach or the arm. A wordless reminder to block himself.

Teeth gritted, Sebastian's expression hardened. This had been going on for three minutes. Three minutes and Ben was easily avoiding every single one of his attempts to land a punch. He had to impress him. Failure wasn't an option.

"Come on, Blondie," Ben baited him, hopping around, light on his feet. "Two minutes and I win."

Sebastian took a deep breath and surveyed Ben. He knew his technique. He moved around a lot and only lashed out when he could be in and out too quickly for his opponent to swing his own right back. Sebastian wasn't nearly as fast as he was on his feet, but his reactions were quicker. He'd have to use his brain, then. That was what Jim would have advised.

Ben's weakness was that he was cocky, that he couldn't resist getting one over on someone. So Sebastian immediately changed his body language. He needed to play dirty to win this one, to disorientate. Seb started to act as though he was giving up, deliberately throwing out sloppy punches, giving Ben the opportunity to prod his sides, to circle him. All the time Ben was getting closer and closer, losing his concern at being hit back. He started baiting him further, moving right into Sebastian's space, laughing. Sebastian even let out a long growl of frustration to add to the effect.

Less than a minute left. Ben looked triumphant.

"Looks like you're not quite-"

WHAM.

Sebastian hit Ben directly in the face, his words lost as his cheek collided with Sebastian's boxing glove.

Immediately Seb stood back, panting. He lowered his gloves, watching to see if Ben was alright. The older boy rubbed his cheek for a moment, looked surprised, and then broke into a grin.

"Now that," he praised, his voice thick as his cheek went numb. "That was impressive work."

Sebastian let out a breath and grinned back, feeling euphoric.

"You know, Blondie, I'm glad Sophie found you," Ben said, taking off his boxing gloves and dropping them on the floor. "I think we've got a future together, you and I. It isn't often you meet a talent like you."

"Yeah, well, I'd be shit if you hadn't taught me," Sebastian responded, taking a step forward.

Ben smiled. He opened his arms. "C'mere, Blondie," he said.

So Sebastian did. He swallowed hard and approached, embracing Ben and closing his eyes. Ben's body was hard and sweaty and warm. Sebastian's pride at his victory mixed with arousal in the pit of his stomach.

They stood still for a long moment, and Ben patted Sebastian on his back. "Good man," he repeated.

Sebastian took a deep breath. It was now or never. Ben had said they had a future together, hadn't he? Ben was his mate. Ben would get it.

He turned his head to the side slightly and pressed his lips to Ben's cheek.

The atmosphere changed so fast Sebastian felt the air go sour around him. Ben let go of him in an instant, as though burned, and Sebastian felt the sensation of ice trickling down his back.

"What are you playing at?!" Ben demanded, his accent stronger in his confusion and disgust.

Sebastian stumbled backwards, eyes wide, chest heaving. "I dunno… I just thought…"

He didn't get to tell Ben what he'd thought, because a fist collided with his face, knocking Sebastian to his feet.

"Do you think I'm a dirty little shirt lifter?!" Ben asked maliciously, using a tone Sebastian had never heard before. He towered over him, glorious but terrifying.

"No," Sebastian said, although his mouth felt odd. He could taste blood. "I'm sorry… I never thought…"

"Never thought? Never thought what?!" Ben demanded, raising his voice. "Is that what you are, Sebastian? Are you a poof?"

"It's not like that," Sebastian said desperately, feeling his body slump with absolute despair. His chest felt empty and he was scared. "Look, it won't happen again. I respect you, Ben. You've taught me so-"

Another punch to the face shut Sebastian up. Then came the kicks. There was shouting too, but Sebastian didn't hear it.

Sebastian wasn't sure how long it lasted for. All he knew was that his mind wasn't with his body, it was elsewhere, and he hated himself.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Jim was late home from school, having held a meeting with several members of his group. They were arguing about pay and Jim had been forced to put them straight. It was no good the lackeys demanding a rise when they weren't prepared to put their necks on the line. Half of them couldn't be trusted to even complete a task correctly as it was. The rewards would only be given when Jim judged the services offered worthy.

Tired but interested to see how Sebastian had liked his new manual treadmill so he could train at home, Jim walked up the stairs, avoiding Chloe's toys easily enough having done so for every day of the past two months. He suspected she was trying to get someone to fall down. Inwardly he wished her luck with her experiment, provided the victim wasn't him, Sebastian, or Dawn.

"Sebastian!" Jim exclaimed as he entered the bedroom. Seb was curled up on top of the desk, head leaning against the bedroom window. He was broken, he was bloody, and he was quite obviously and shockingly distressed.

"I did something stupid," he mumbled, voice cracking in a way that scared Jim beyond anything he'd ever felt in his life.

"What happened?" Jim asked quietly, horror dawning on his features as he closed the bedroom door behind himself. "What did you do?"

"I'm going to Hell."

Jim snapped, his panic overtaking him. "We've established there's no such place. What are you talking about?"

"You don't get it," Sebastian breathed out, each word a struggle. "I'm not… what you think I am…"

"Have you killed someone?" Jim demanded, immediately going into business mode, thinking of all the ways he knew to hide bodies, even contemplating getting the pair of them out of the country. There were avenues they could pursue. Jim had money and he had the ability. Sebastian wouldn't be going to prison. Jim wouldn't allow that to happen.

Sebastian shook his head.

Jim waited for more information, but none came. He noticed a bead of blood dripping down Sebastian's cheek. There were bruises all over his face.

"What?!" Jim hissed, eyes wide.

Sebastian clamped his eyes shut and looked for all the world as though he was preparing to be attacked. His shoulders tensed and he made himself smaller. Jim thought that Sebastian should never ever have to look like that. Little and breakable. How could so big a boy still manage to look like a child in moments of distress?

"I think I'm gay," Sebastian said.

The room was silent. Jim narrowed his eyes, waiting for the bad news, waiting for the admission of murder. When there was nothing, Jim stood still, brain racing. Gay. That was okay. It explained a lot. It solved his puzzle.

"Oh," said Jim, not reacting with the disgust Sebastian had expected. He looked relieved, perhaps even a little pleased. "Well, that's not-"

"I tried to kiss Ben."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Jim screeched, throwing out his arms in frustration.

Seb let his head fall into his hands, shoulders shaking.

"Why on earth would you do that?!" Jim demanded, stomping about furiously, his expression contorted into something dark and manic.

"I dunno," Seb breathed. "I just wasn't thinking… And you said I needed to snog someone…"

"You can't go about your life just… kissing people!" Jim declared, sounding strict and incredulous, as though Sebastian had done the worst thing in the world. He was turning spiteful now, Sebastian knew. He braced himself for Jim's fury to wash over him.

"I know," Seb groaned.

Jim huffed and stomped about some more. He had the sudden and frighteningly clear urge to push Sebastian out of the window. Sebastian deserved it, to have his body break through the glass, getting slashed and bloody on the way down, finally clattering lifeless in the back garden, bones twisted and snapped…

No, Jim told himself. No. Sebastian was afforded special privileges. Jim needed him alive.

He restrained himself from making any move to carry out his violent plan and instead blinked slowly.

"Why?" he demanded shortly.

"He was saying all this stuff about how good I was… how he was glad he met me… that we had a future…"

Jim's eyes were slits.

"And so what happened?" he demanded, his tone giving nothing away other than displeasure.

"He beat me up," Sebastian said. His shoulders were shaking again. It sickened Jim to the pit of his stomach to see Sebastian in this state. He wasn't supposed to cry. He wasn't allowed.

"Please tell me you hit him back," Jim said sharply, already knowing the answer.

Sebastian looked over at Jim with despairing blue eyes. He shook his head. No.

Jim thought the violence from this Ben was extremely unnecessary and he was outraged on Seb's behalf, but Sebastian had to be taught a lesson. Jim stood to gain something from this and he wasn't going to miss the opportunity to drive his point home.

"In future, perhaps you'll think before acting so rashly," Jim said eventually, forcing calm.

"Do you hate me?"

"No, but you're foolish," Jim told him bluntly. "Next time, you'll choose someone who's worthy of you and will return your affections."

"I liked Ben, though," Seb said.

Jim lost it again, flying into a rage. He grabbed the nearest object, the pencil pot on the desk, and threw it at Sebastian. The pot hit the side of Sebastian's head with a dull thunk and pencils and pencil shavings rained down on him.

"You're lucky he didn't KILL YOU!" he shrieked madly. "You're an idiot!"

Sebastian made no move to do anything except cry and try to make himself smaller. Jim glared at him hatefully and then strolled over to his bed, seating himself primly on the mattress with his head high. He'd been betrayed, yes, horrendously so. But at least Sebastian was learning a valuable life lesson. Nobody could be trusted. No-one but him.

Jim let Sebastian snivel for a while. He sat on the bed and pondered all the injustices of life. He cursed his size and his appearance and his lack of muscles. He cursed the two years that separated him and Sebastian, a barrier he would have done anything to break.

"Have you stopped crying?" Jim asked eventually as Sebastian gave a large sniff.

"Y-yeah," he mumbled.

"Goodness me, you're being dramatic," Jim chastised, finally getting up and wandering over to where Seb was curled up. "Come here."

Seb looked wary.

"It doesn't matter that you're gay," Jim told him wisely, rolling his eyes that he should even have to explain this.

"Everyone'll hate me," Seb mumbled.

"I won't," Jim said firmly. "Nobody that matters will hate you. Now pull yourself together, Moran."

Seb sniffed again.

Jim stood on his tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to Sebastian's salty cheek.

"There now," he soothed. "Everything's going to be fine."

Seb grunted something Jim didn't hear properly.

"You don't need silly boxing now. You can go back to swimming."

Sebastian remained silent.

With a sigh, Jim clambered up onto the desk so he could sit in Sebastian's lap, removing some of the pencils he'd thrown in the process. If they leaned too hard against the flimsy window they could topple out to their deaths. Jim liked that thought. It was exciting.

Sebastian let Jim settle in his lap without a word. He stretched out his legs to make it more comfortable for Jim.

"What did I say to you about the way I loved you?" Jim asked Sebastian in a whisper. "Hm?"

"You said… unconditional," Sebastian said quietly.

"Exactly. Unconditional. So pull yourself together and don't disappoint me. I don't like to see you like this."

"Sorry," Sebastian mumbled.

With difficulty, Jim turned in Sebastian's arms. He might have been hurting Sebastian's legs, but he didn't care.

He placed his palms on Sebastian's cheeks and looked right into his eyes.

"You won't be kissing anyone else now, will you?"

"No," Sebastian breathed.

"Good boy. Because they can't be trusted. None of them. Ben was supposed to be your friend, but he betrayed you. And if he can betray you, then think what the others could do."

"I can't help it," Sebastian said quietly, looking apologetic. His blue eyes were rimmed with red. Jim thought he still looked handsome like this, although he much preferred his smirk. "Liking blokes, I mean. I can't help it. I swear."

"I know you can't, Sebby darling," Jim agreed with a nod of his head. "Nobody can. Do you think I like girls?"

Sebastian frowned, having not thought about it before. To Sebastian, Jim was a brother, a genius and a kid. Who knew what Jim was into? Sometimes he didn't even seem human. The idea of Jim in a relationship of any sort was absurd. He hated sentimentality, he said so himself.

"I dunno. Do you?"

"None so far," Jim told Sebastian honestly. "Maybe I will, and maybe I won't, but I'll tell you what I do like, shall I?"

Sebastian nodded.

"I like men in suits."

"That's why you've got those magazines?"

"Yes. I like the suits and I like the men in them. That's fine, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Seb agreed.

"And I like blond hair especially, and blue eyes, 'Bastian," Jim whispered reaching one hand up to stroke Sebastian's hair.

Sebastian swallowed and felt like he was going to cry again, because he didn't feel alone. It was okay. He still had Jim.

"Oh, hush now," Jim said, watching Sebastian's eyes fill with tears. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and held him tightly as Sebastian cried against his shoulder. Jim ran his pale fingers through Sebastian's hair and closed his eyes.

"It's okay, darling," Jim whispered softly, taking on the role of protector. It made him feel a mixture of powerful and lost. He could feel Sebastian's tears against his neck. "I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going anywhere. 'Bastian."

Jim could feel Sebastian's large hands fisting in his shirt. His body shook as he tried to suppress his anguished sobs.

"All you need, all you'll ever need, is me," he whispered, kissing the top of Sebastian's head. "And I love you very much."