A/N: And here is another chapter... Hmm... I can't really think of anything more interesting to say here... so go ahead and read.
After what felt like only five minutes of sleep, there was a slap at the tent's door, jumping Faolan and Berit awake. It was still dark out, though Faolan suspected the horn would call out over the camp in less than a candlemark. In the faint, predawn light, Fao's eyes met Berit's and they stared at each other in equal puzzlement before Faolan heard Dashiell hiss from outside the tent.
"Come on Faolan- we have work to do. Before noon, remember?" he said and Faolan saw the tent move again slightly.
"It's for me," Fao whispered to Berit, "Go back to sleep. Ursula will probably explain once she knows- I can't really."
She then threw her furs off herself and wriggled into a pair of pants. In a few moments, she was entirely dressed, chain mail and all, and she shoved outside into the morning. It was chillier than it had been, but with a promise of warmth- that soft scent that wafts on the air like pollen in the spring.
"Good morning," Dashiell greeted her, wearing what appeared to be the same dark clothing he'd had on the night before. Faolan wondered if he slept at all- he seemed wide awake. Faolan, on the other hand, felt kind of like she'd slept on a rock for a pillow.
"Yeah," Faolan agreed quietly, peering at the lightening east and then yawned loudly, stretching out her body before relaxing, "Do we get breakfast or are we jumping right into… testing me?"
"Food first," Dashiell said with a grin, "Doing magic takes extra energy. You'll sleep better tonight than you have in ages, I assure you."
With that he turned, and started to lead her over to the main campfire; Faolan tailed after him but asked, after a moment, "Why would I be lying?"
"Huh?" Dashiell glanced back at her, "Oh- no reason, really. Just whenever anything odd happens the Commander makes sure it's not something that needs more attention, you know?"
"Sure," Faolan agreed, feeling a little better with that explanation. So Garth was just paranoid- he didn't have suspicions about her. Or at least that was Dashiell's interpretation. Faolan had a feeling that this young, sort of unobtrusive man had a lot more power than he looked like he would. He probably knew what he was talking about.
The main campfire was mostly deserted at this hour, so Dashiell ducked over into the cook's tent, where Faolan could already hear some moving about. She waited outside, noticing the lightening sky in increments of about five minutes. Dashiell returned quickly, holding two large slices of some sort of nut bread. He handed one to Faolan, then, with his mouth full, waved for her to follow him.
"We need quiet," he said when he'd swallowed his first bite, "The sentries will let us out- but don't worry, we won't go far."
"Okay," Faolan said, pretty much willing to go along with whatever Dashiell said, as long as it didn't reveal her position as a spy.
By the time they reached a spot Dashiell liked, the sun was up, filtering soft light through the trees. They were about ten minutes from the camp, in a clearing made by a fallen down tree. A rock was in the center, covered in moss and grass that struggled to reach up to the sunlight in the space the tree had made. It was pretty.
"Sit," Dashiell ordered as he climbed onto the rock and folded himself into a comfortable sitting position. Faolan copied him and sat, waiting for him to continue.
"So," he said thoughtfully, his eyes distant, "You made your own walls- and they are very tight. That is good. So… do you really know what speaking in minds is?"
"Uh…" Faolan stared at him, not entirely sure what the question meant, "It means you can hear others thoughts and speak into their minds?"
"Basically, yes," Dashiell nodded, his eyes still somewhere about a foot above her head, "You heard me the night before, I heard you. I guess what I'd like you to do is drop your walls for me- if you can. Since you made them subconsciously, that might be hard."
"No- I think I can," Faolan answered, "I'm always sort of half aware of it…"
"You never wondered if you were going crazy?" he asked, his eyes on hers now, curious.
"I guess I had other things to worry about," Faolan said slowly, "Like staying alive. It never occurred to me those voices belonged to other people."
"Well- now you know!" Dashiell laughed, "So try dropping your walls. Tell me if you hear anything, and what you hear."
Faolan nodded, and closed her eyes, falling into a comfortable meditative state- after all, she already had real Gift training. She played around with her shields a bit, and then finally, slowly, lowered them- knowing Dashiell was watching she tried to make it look amateur. When they were down, Faolan suppressed a shiver. She felt naked. Carefully not thinking about anything that would reveal her, she wondered casually if Dashiell could hear her- if he was listening in. She couldn't really hear anything herself- Dashiell probably had- walls, as he called them, of his own up, and they were far enough from the camp she couldn't hear any other people. It was quiet, in a nice kind of way, like swimming naked for the first time. It's kind of scary, and you keep expecting to feel things brush up against your bare skin, but then there's nothing, and it's like swimming with clothes on except a little more free, and little more dangerous.
Faolan felt something nearby sort of drop, and then a thought drifted into her mind, Hello Faolan. This is Dashiell- I'm not sending my thoughts, I only dropped my walls to so you could pick up my thoughts.
The words were in her head and understood in seconds, so much quicker than speaking. She opened her eyes and stared at Dashiell, wondering what she was supposed to do, and holding back the urge to snap her shields back over her unprotected mind.
You're doing well, the thoughts drifted in afterwards and Faolan sort of traced them until she touched Dashiell's mind. His own walls sort of almost bounced back into place- she supposed he wasn't used to working with other mind speakers either, so she sort of hovered near, picking up a few random thoughts as they drifted out, and then suddenly his walls were back, and she was blind to his mind.
:Put your walls back up,: she heard, distinctly and clear, with no overtones. He was sending now, and so she obeyed, gratefully.
:Now- you are doing good, as I thought before, and I think you heard. In case you were wondering, I did pick up most of what you were thinking before- you have very orderly thoughts, if you'll take the compliment, Faolan. Not much wandering. From what Jessen told me, most minds are cluttered and crazy- even if the person is talking in an ordered fashion, their thoughts are chaotic- yours are more like a person's words. I suppose Jessen hasn't much experience with werewolves though. We have higher degrees of mental control by necessity,: Dashiell spewed off. Faolan digested what he said, then stayed silent, waiting.
:I want you to try speaking back to me now,: Dashiell instructed and then gave her a series of steps to do that and how to hear thoughts from other mind speakers, how to send thoughts to other mind speakers, all of which have their own shields and whatnot.
Faolan did as he told her, making herself fumble as if it were all new, and using all her concentration to be what she pretended to be. The stress of her mind combined to give her a thundering headache by the time he told her to open her eyes and take a break. She supposed that was only realistic if she was really being newly trained in her Gifts, but it was still annoying.
"My head really hurts," she said, rubbing her temples with her hands and blinking in the bright sunlight. It wasn't noon yet, but the sun was definitely a couple of candlemarks above what it had been when they started.
"Good," Dashiell said with a grin, "That means you're exercising your abilities."
More than you know, Faolan thought from behind her rock solid walls once more, and she leaned backwards, stretching herself on the sun warmed rock, her chain mail pressing into her skin. It was slightly uncomfortable, but nice because it was a change in position.
"Feel up to one more test?" Dashiell asked. Aside from showing her how to use her thoughts, he'd put her through a series of trials to test the strength, endurance, and reach of her mindspeech. Those Faolan had not faked, she couldn't think of a good reason not to. She knew her mindspeech was strong enough to pick up the thoughts of people near her, but not incredibly strong- for she could only just barely speak to Raul, and that was through one of the strongest bonds on Velgarth. Dashiell basically confirmed this for her, giving her a general pick up range of about a fifty foot radius around her, and a sending/receiving range of about five miles. He didn't detect her empathy- but then, how would he? He was a mind speaker.
"What kind of test?" Faolan inquired, sitting up once more, wondering what else he could possibly gain from her.
"You're a nice person, Faolan," Dashiell started and Faolan stared at him, puzzled, "Sounds like you had it rough from a young age, which explains how you're here at the front so young- because you're tough, and basically you're one the last people I'd ever suspect for anything odd."
"Odd?" Faolan echoed, having a feeling where this was going.
"Like the Commander said- I have to make sure you're not lying. Abilities like mindspeech are pretty rare- even if you're not consciously being used, it's possible someone's using your abilities, funneling off your magic, even if you're not aware of it- funneling thoughts into your head. Hell, it's even possible that you really did know about your mind speaking before I found you and are using it to transfer information to the enemy," Dashiell said, and grinned at Faolan's slightly alarmed expression, "But- not very likely, from what I've gathered about you."
"How exactly…" Faolan started, feeling her headache pound harder, "Are you going to determine that?"
"Well…" he said, looking away, "I'm going to read your mind. You'll have to drop your walls for me, and no arguing. Without this, the Commander won't trust you. Ever wonder why this camp is 'interrogation' free?"
Faolan stared at him, and when he met her eyes he grinned again and said, "I don't need pain to know what's going on in those Valdemaren minds."
A silence stretched between them, in which Faolan was half thinking about how she really should tell Raul about this, and about how much that would really help, and how much it would endanger her if it became clear the enemy knew the werewolves had a mind speaker, and also about how exactly she would manage to let him read her mind without revealing everything.
"I know," Dashiell broke the silence a moment later with an uncomfortable sigh, "That you don't want me to do it- everyone has little things they don't want others to see, that sort of thing, but I'll tell you- pretty much everyone is the same. We all have the same weird thoughts, dirty thoughts, random thoughts that really don't represent our true feelings, memories we think others will hate us for that are really nothing, secret shames and loves and guilts… It's all the same. So whatever is in your head that you don't want anyone seeing- I'm not telling. Nor am I caring. All right, Faolan?"
Faolan stared at him. One of the first things she learned about her Gift was the morality of it. Dashiell was definitely violating her own moral Gift code- but then again, in war time, almost every moral code was broken that existed. In war, anything that won the war was moral, because the enemy is always definitely immoral. Not human. Faolan felt sick for a moment, then regained control and nodded slowly.
"All right," she said, preparing herself for a crazy mental game with him. She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep it up- but from what Dashiell said, if she didn't do it, it'd almost be the same, so she asked, "But what happens if I refuse?"
"Exile, I suppose," Dashiell shrugged, "We don't know if we can trust you, so you're exiled from the werewolves. Forced loner. We can't have you on the front, so you probably won't get true control, so you can't go back to the villages. Then again, some werewolves like being alone…"
"No," Faolan shook her head fiercely, surprised at the rush of emotion going through her, "Not that."
"I thought so," Dashiell grinned and Faolan met his eyes, knowing that she had said no to being a loner not because it'd lose her position as a spy, but because she truly didn't want to go. She wanted to stay. Part of the pack. Acceptance.
"Right," Dashiell said a moment later, "I'm ready when you are."
Faolan felt fear clutch at her stomach, but she shoved it away, and tried to shove her headache away too, but that only prickled at her harder so she ignored it and nodded to Dashiell. With that, she dropped her shields and closed her eyes.
Then she felt a tickle at her mind, a brush at the edges of her thoughts. She recoiled from it, but then forced herself to relax. And then the game began. Faolan gently, very gently, pushed Dashiell away from memories he could not touch and put in front of him ones that he could, including memories she'd never had. She twisted a few she did have, presenting them to him in a way that fit with her story. Each movement she made had to be so subtle that he wouldn't even realize he was being guided through her mind. If he even suspected her touch, that was the end of her. It was like an endless dance where she could not touch the other dancer, nor let him even know she was there, but yet she must orchestrate the entire dance, beginning the end. One misstep on his part, and she was ruined.
It was enough that when he retreated Faolan gasped in relief and almost fell backwards. It was enough that she wished she had no guilty memories that she had to hide from the werewolves. It was enough that she wished she was no Herald, and was no spy, and was just a werewolf with mind speech- a gift to help her people, instead of a weapon she was turning against them.
It was enough that when she felt Dashiell wrapping his arms around her, she sank into them, resting, and letting herself be comforted. If he spoke, she did not hear it for a long time. The first words she consciously recognized were this:
"Faolan… it's time to see the Commander," Dashiell whispered into her ear.
Faolan let her eyes flutter open, and she blinked in the harsh sunlight. The first thing she noticed was that her headache had gone- somehow, someway. She pulled herself from Dashiell's arms and stood up carefully, rubbing her head, half in pain and half in thought.
"Are you all right?" Dashiell asked, and Faolan glanced over him. There was no pity or true empathy in his gaze, just common inquiry.
"I'm fine," she answered quickly, "I just feel a little.. disconnected."
"Not surprising," Dashiell answered, and from the tone of his voice Faolan knew he hadn't held her because of some growing liking for her specifically- friendly or romantic, but because he knew exactly what he had done, and knew what the reactions were, and knew what was needed. He'd have done the same for anyone- and Faolan couldn't figure out if this made him a very nice person, or a very emotionally detached person.
"Let's go," Faolan said a moment later, hopping down from the rock and wincing as her muscles complained from being locked in a single position for hours.
"Of course," he answered and leapt down easily, then jogged through the woods, back to the werewolf encampment and the Commander. Faolan wondered uneasily what would happen next.
A/N: Thanks for reading this chapter, and also much thanks to those who reviewed the previous...
Sunfairy- I try and put in lots of interesting twists. Must keep you guys on your toes. XD.
mugglepirate- It won't ever stop getting more interesting. Mwaha.
andi- Let's see... Projected end is I think chapter 67... and at
my rate of update that's still a couple of months away. So you're in
luck.
GinaLee- Most of this story I thought up in the first few months
of writing it, but a lot of it I come up with as I write. Me: Well what
if THAT happened?
StormyPhoenix- Oh yeah, spying is definitely not simple. It
makes my brain hurt to think about how much thinking one would have to
do as a spy. I don't envy Faolan one bit.
impsy- Thanks! I've thought about doing vampire/werewolf things
in Valdemar before, but not until this one did I think I had a plot
that could fit in- there's a fine line between fun mixing of stuff and
just plain silly.
hannahbob- I shall keep writing to the end! But for today I
think I'll settle with writing the next chapter. XD. Also- have you
ever heard of the a capella musical group called The Bobs? Your
username is what sparks this- they all call themself like so and so Bob
so...
The-Elven-Bookworm- I do that too- read stories all at once.
It's very fun. Though sleep depriving... I think I stayed up to eleven
one school night where I had to get up a six... but anyway, thanks for
pointing those grammer things out for me. (I tried to proofread this
one carefully.) Sometimes it's late and I don't feel like rereading my
stuff though... I can be lazy. Also thanks for your earlier reviews too- I
don't expect people reading the whole thing at once to review every
chapter- I don't even expect everyone to review the most recent
chapters, but I do appreciate it! About archery, I've done a little
myself. I try and write mostly about what I have actual experience
with, since I hate catching people writing about stuff they clearly
know nothing about- like people writing about horses calling baby
horses ponies. Otherwise I just get vague and hope for the best. I've
actually considered deLackeyizing this story- taking out Companions and
Valdemar and stuff... but it might be too complicated. Who knows!
