CHAPTER FIFTY

Justin pushed open the door of Buzzy's Comic Store and stepped inside. There were a few kids scattered around the aisles browsing and Michael, engrossed in the Spiderman section at the rear of the shop, stood out like a sore thumb. Justin took a deep breath, clutched his messenger bag tightly, plastered on a smile and went over.

He stood there for a minute before Michael registered someone's presence; he looked up and blinked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you."

Michael frowned. He didn't exactly look welcoming. "How did you find me?"

"I asked your Mom. She said this is where you hang out when you've got something on your mind."

Michael put down the comic he'd been reading and eyed Justin suspiciously. "So what do you want?"

"To talk. About you and Brian."

Michael's face closed down. "Butt out of it, Boy Wonder. There's nothing to talk about." He turned away.

"I think there is," Justin persisted, following.

"Oh, and you know so much!" Michael retorted sarcastically. "You've been around for such a long time!"

Justin shook his head. "I'm really getting tired of being told that I can't know anything about Brian because I've only just met him. Lindsay said exactly the same thing."

"Then maybe you ought to start listening."

"To what?" Justin demanded. "To people telling me that Brian fucks around a lot? I already know. That he doesn't find it easy to talk about his emotions? I know that too. That he's selfish, and vain, and shallow? That's the impression he likes to give. But his friends ... like you and Lindsay ... you should know there's a lot more to Brian than that."

Michael turned towards him angrily. "Yeah, well you try living with it before you come lecturing me. You wait until he fucks you over, just like he does everyone else! Let's see how you like it!"

"When did Brian ever fuck you over, Michael?"

Michael's eyes flashed. "My birthday, for one!"

"Okay. He knows he should have handled the whole David thing better. But in his own fucked-up way he was doing what he thought was right; he hurt you so that you'd go back with David. He knew if he didn't, you'd be waiting for him forever."

"That's bullshit!" Michael snapped.

"Is it?" Justin asked quietly. "Everybody knows you wanted Brian, even Debbie. Don't deny you always hoped one day you'd be together as a real couple ... just like Lindsay always has!"

Michael glared at him. "Is that what you're telling him?

"I don't have to tell him. He knows you so well, Michael."

"He doesn't know me anymore!"

Justin raised his eyebrows. "No? That's why he bought you this." He unzipped his messenger bag, pulled out the Astro Comic and slapped it down in front of Michael.

"I told him I don't want his crummy present!" Michael shouted.

Justin wanted to shake him. "Don't you understand? This was his goodbye ... because then he gave you the greatest gift he could ... he set you free, even though it hurt him just as much as it did you! He's miserable without you," he said earnestly. "He misses you."

"Good!" Michael snapped. "He deserves it!" He turned away again.

"Because he fucked Ben and not you?"

Michael stopped dead. He turned slowly, eyes widened. "You are so fucking out of order!" He turned and stormed towards the exit. Justin stuffed the comic back in his messenger before hustling after him.

He shoved open the door, dodged a couple more kids who were coming in and raced down the sidewalk. "Michael ..." he caught up with the hurrying figure and took hold of the man's sleeve, forcing him to stop. "I'm not your enemy."

Michael stared at him. "I love Ben," he protested.

Justin nodded. "I know you do."

"I just ... I mean, Brian has fucked everybody!" Michael shouted. "It shouldn't have been any surprise to me that he'd fucked Ben, too! But it was ... it was," he finished weakly.

"Have you spoken to Ben about it?" Justin asked.

"Kind of." Michael looked uncomfortable. "I got really freaked about it. Ben asked who I was jealous of."

Justin bit his lip. "And what was your answer?"

"I don't know!" Michael yelled. "I mean, why not me? Why everyone else on the fucking planet, but not me? Am I that fucking repulsive?"

Justin stared at him. "Is that what you think?"

"Well, what else?" Michael was blushing furiously.

"He loves you, Michael. You were the exception."

"Brian doesn't love anyone," Michael answered bitterly. "He doesn't believe in love, remember?" He began to walk away again.

"But he feels it," Justin argued, following. "I know it, and so do you."

Michael spun around. "Has he told you that?"

Justin shrugged. "He doesn't have to. He shows me all the time."

Michael stared at him. "And it seriously doesn't bother you that he's fucked half of Pittsburgh?"

"It's who he is," Justin replied. "He's never hidden it from me." He huffed a little breath. "I can't deny I'd like to think I was enough, and that he wouldn't need to go after other guys. But if they give him something I can't ... well, I guess that's something I have to deal with. In any case, it's my choice."

"He won't stop, you know," Michael said bluntly. "Not for you, not for anyone."

Justin nodded. "We've discussed it."

Michael's mouth hung open. "You've ... discussed it?" he squeaked.

"Yes," Justin answered patiently. "Michael, he asked me to move in with him. Why wouldn't we discuss what the ground rules were going to be? Establish acceptable boundaries?"

Michael's expression was a mixture of fascination and disbelief. "And what did you decide?"

"I think it boiled down to him not bringing tricks back to the Loft and me not letting anyone else top me."

"Wow," Michael said wonderingly. He gave a surprised little laugh. "He must really love you."

"Yes," Justin replied honestly. "I really think he does ... but he loves you too, Michael. Do you know how many photographs of the two of you he has? Going back years, back to when you were kids together."

Michael looked doubtful. "He does?"

"Yes!" Justin replied eagerly. "There was this one of you with Debbie and Vic, outside some cabin ..."

"That was in the Poconos," Michael said. "We used to go on holiday there every year before Vic got sick." He smiled nostalgically.

"And another one of you and him as Captain Astro and Galaxy Lad!"

Michael snorted. "I can't believe he's still got that! That was at the Marvel Comic Convention. I got us both day passes; I never thought he was going to even show, let alone have that stupid photo taken of us!" His smile faded. "That was about the last thing we ever did together."

"You have so many memories, Michael. I envy you that, because that's something I can never have. Don't you see? You don't have to resent me because I have a part of Brian ... because you have a different part, and nobody else in the world can take it away from you. And he needs that part." Justin took a breath. "He's leaving Vanguard."

Michael goggled. "Why the fuck is he doing that? I thought going to New York was off the table when Stockwell kicked him out."

"He had a big blow up with Gardiner Vance. Brian told him he could fuck his job."

"But ..." Michael looked as though he was struggling to understand. "He's got a better offer, right?"

Justin shook his head.

"Then what's he going to do?" Michael spluttered. "What's he going to live on?"

"I don't know. He's got a couple of weeks to think about it ... I guess Vance would take him back, if Brian promises not to get out of line anymore. But you know Brian ... he won't kiss ass just to keep his job."

"Brian Kinney doesn't kiss ass anyone!" Michael agreed emphatically.

"Right. So he's thinking about maybe starting out on his own. But that's a scary idea, you know? Even for somebody like Brian Kinney. He needs all the support he can get right now."

"His own agency? Wow." Michael sounded impressed. "Could he get the funding?"

"Mel says either he or Vance can dissolve the partnership. If Brian wants to leave, Vance has to buy him out. It's just a question of how much for, and whether Brian can persuade some of his accounts to go with him."

"Of course they will. Brian's the best adman in the city, if not the country! He won the Cleo Award, and that's a helluva achievement for someone his age." Michael's pride was obvious, and Justin bit back a smile. "We used to talk about it when we were younger ... you know, what would you like to be? Brian always swore he was going to run the best escort agency in the country." Michael snickered.

"That wouldn't have worked," Justin replied. "His escorts would have been too busy servicing him to ever get to see any clients." They laughed together for a moment. "What about you?" Justin asked. "What did you want to do?"

Michael shuffled his feet. "I never figured out what I wanted," he said at last. "I'm not smart enough to do much, I guess, and I never even went to college." He sighed. "The only interest I've ever really had was comics, and about the only dream I've ever had was publishing my own ... only I can't draw for shit. If I had enough money I'd put in a bid for Buzzy's place. He's been trying to sell up for a while, only nobody's interested in buying."

Justin pulled out the copy of Astro Comics. "Then use this," he said.

Michael looked at him blankly.

"I did some research last night," Justin explained. "Have you any idea what this thing's worth? Brian must have paid at least $5000 for it a year ago! What do you think you'd get for it now on EBay?"

Michael's gaze went from the comic to Justin's face and back again. "You mean sell it?" he queried.

"Yes! Brian wouldn't mind; he'd be happy to know it was helping you out!" Justin pushed the comic into Michael's hands. "Just think, Michael; you could tell your asshole of a boss where to put his job, just like Brian did! You could actually wake up in the mornings and know that the profits from your hard work were going into your pockets and nobody else's!"

Michael was staring at the comic like it was a sacred relic. "I'd have to run it past Ben ..."

"I'm sure Ben will want you to do whatever makes you happy," Justin told him firmly.

Michael slowly raised his head, and his eyes were suddenly alight with enthusiasm.


The go-go boys' tight white Lycra shorts glowed under the ultra-violet lights as they danced. They'd all been supplied with fluorescent latticed balls that could expand from the size of a bowling ball to a large beach ball, and several of the customers had got hold of them and were throwing them about the dance floor. Brian watched from the bar, drinking a Grey Goose and scowling as he did so.

He banged the empty glass down on the bar, pulled his cell out of his pocket and began dialling, squinting to make out the numbers in the semi-darkness. He waited, drumming his fingers on the bar impatiently until the call went to voicemail ... again. "The idea of me buying you a cell was to keep it turned on!" he barked. "Where the fuck are you?" He snapped the phone closed. The plan had been for Justin to meet him at Babylon after his shift; now he was an hour late and wasn't picking up his cell or the land line to the Loft. It had been the little twat's idea to come in the first place, insisting that they go out and party instead of sitting at home fretting. Brian bit his thumbnail, frowning. He was having uncomfortable thoughts about lurking figures in dark alleys and speeding trucks. He was about to try again when he realised Michael was standing a few paces away, watching him with a strange expression in his face.

Brian glanced around for the Professor, but Mikey seemed to be on his own. "What are you doing here?" Brian greeted him gruffly. "You're a married man."

Michael smirked. "I can still look."

Brian shrugged. "Well, what's the good of looking if you can't touch?" He turned to the bar. "Wanna beer?"

Mikey's eyebrows went up. "How many have you had?"

"A few," Brian replied shortly.

"Too many!"

"Keep track of the Professor, not me," Brian retorted. He didn't want to get into a sniping match; he wanted to find out why the fuck Justin hadn't shown. He was about to redial his number when Michael spoke again. "I never thanked you for my gift," he said, stepping closer.

Brian paused at the random comment and looked up at him, hiking an eyebrow. "Your gift?"

Michael nodded, smiling a little. "My birthday gift," he clarified. "Your ward tracked me down and insisted that I take it."

Brian blinked. He looked down at the cell in his hand. "Did he arrange this?"

Mikey's smile broadened. "He mentioned that you might be here."

Fucker! Brian stuffed his cell back in his pocket and glared. "Yeah, well, I'll have to punish him severely," he growled, meaning every word.

"It was the neatest thing I ever got," Michael told him, his eyes shining.

Brian shrugged. "I thought so." They studied each other in silence for a moment before Brian's lips quirked up in a half-smile. "Wanna dance?" he asked abruptly.

Michael nodded happily. Brian followed him onto the dance floor and draped his arms over Michael's shoulders; it felt a little awkward at first, but the fact that neither of them were what could be called dancers helped because they had to concentrate on their feet rather than each other. They swayed together for a minute, then Michael said; "I meant what I said ... about you giving me the best present ever." His face grew serious. "So ... I don't want you to be angry or anything."

Brian opened his eyes wide and hunched his shoulders a little. "About what?"

"I'm gonna sell it on EBay." Michael started talking in a rush. "Buzzy's selling his store and if I can get enough for the comic I'm gonna make him an offer. Because I'm so fucking miserable at the Big Q and I want to ... I want to do something for me, Brian. Plus, I can build up the business a lot better than Buzzy has ... I can use the internet, and all sorts of shit like that. I might even make some money ..."

"Mikey ..."

"... and that would really help out if Hunter's mother takes us to court. Only I don't want you to get pissed off and thinking that I'm gonna sell it just to get back at you ..."

"Mikey ..."

"... because that's so far from the truth ..."

"Michael!" Brian snapped. "Shut the fuck up!"

Michael shut his mouth rapidly.

Brian shook his head. "You are so pathetic." He smiled.

Relief spread across Michael's face. "You don't mind?"

Brian bent his head so that their foreheads touched. "No, I don't fucking mind. In fact, I'll come over and help. At least I can make sure you get a good price."

Michael beamed. Someone tossed one of the glowing balls in their direction; Brian caught it, stretched it as wide as he could and placed it over their heads like a giant latticed bubble sitting on their shoulders. "I'm leaving Vanguard," he said.

Michael nodded. "I know."

Brian sighed. "Don't tell me. Justin."

Michael nodded again, snickering. "He's a devious little shit. Can't say as I envy you, Brian."

Brian pressed his lips together. "He could certainly do with a little discipline." He cocked his head a little. "So, Mikey ... we're both off, following our dreams, huh?"

"It's kind of scary," Michael said softly.

"Yeah. It is that." In more ways than one.

Mikey was silent for a moment. Then he said, "It felt weird ... not talking to you."

Brian smirked. "Like I said. Pathetic."

They danced on as the music changed, goofing around and laughing with their heads still stuck in the stupid plastic ball. It was bent pretty badly out of shape by the time they'd finished, but they never quite managed to break it.

TBC