X-X-X-X
Chapter 55
X-X-X-X
I released a small groan as I lay in bed. Mao was the one to wake me up, but I didn't want to wake up...not due to a hangover, but because I wanted to sleep more. Mao only rolled his eyes, knowing it'd take me at least an hour to wake up properly. When I don't get at least eight hours of sleep, I will not wake up properly for a while. I ended up stuck with this habit even when I was traveling...Kurogane actually threw water on me a few times when didn't wake up for training. I stared at Mao for a few seconds...noticing he was dressed normally unlike yesterday. I stiffled another yawn, stretching my arms above my head.
"What time is it?" I asked running my fingers through my hair.
"Seven o'clock. Your sisters will be returning home in an hour, I thought you would like to speak with them before then. You never bothered to speak with them after Luna was dragged away. Water?" Mao asked as I pulled myself out of bed.
"Don't need it." I changed into a simple sleeveless dress shirt and skirt combo. I brushed my hair out, carefully starting at the tips. I braided it loosely, throwing it over my shoulder and down my back. "How are my sisters getting back home?"
"We'll have a family driver take them back home."
"...Please give this to my sisters, instruct them not to read it until they arrive home." I motioned to the letters on the table. "There are two addressed to my parents...and one for the nephew I never met."
"You don't wish to see him?"
"...I don't have the right to be part of that family." I placed my hand upon my chest, where my scar is located. "Not the way I am now."
"They still love you dearly."
"I don't have any desire to see them. I requested someone help me make payment to return home not to meet with my family."
"...This would be your last chance to see them."
"I won't see them. You were one who helped with the payment, what did you give up?"
"Mao, answer me."
"...Sorrell sacrificed the romantic love he felt towards you, he's been in love with you since we were children."
"And you?"
"It was never romantic towards you, but...I can't see as well anymore. I gave up a good portion of my vision for your return. I doubt I can read as much as I would like anymore."
"..." I stood up, walking towards him. I pulled his glasses off, gently touching the area around his eyes. His eyes became unfocused, cloudy even. "...How bad is it?"
"It's not all that bad. I got glasses although they give me a headache due to how strong they are. I'll adjust, eventually."
"You can't restore your vision using normal means either...since your vision was taken with magic..." I played with his hair before placing his glasses back on. "You know my reason for being here, don't try to put it off. I can't stay for very long, you know this."
"...I shall take you there. Please give me some time to make preparations."
"Thank you."
Mao gathered up the letters and I decided to watch from the second floor with a view of the entrance. I could see my two sisters packing their bags into the car before Mao approached them. I saw him give the letters to my elder sister...while Luna was looking around...for me. I moved behind the wall near the window...shutting my eye. I don't want Luna trying to come back in to beat me up when they're forced to leave...if she knew I was watching, she'd do it for sure. She's not the type to hold back against family, phsycially or verbally.
"Lucy?"
"Sakura..."
"What are you doing here?"
"...Just making my sisters are taken care of until they leave."
"You won't say goodbye yourself?"
"No...I don't have that right."
"...I think they would be happy to see you off..."
"My heart is a bit too fragile right now." I walked towards the girl, pulling her into a loose hug. "I'll be gone for a while, take care of yourself and the others."
"Where are you going?"
"...The real reason why I returned home."
"Milady."
"..." It's Sorrell. I released Sakura and I placed a hand on her cheek. "If I return early enough, we'll be leaving."
"Milady, your hand."
"Thank you, Sorrell."
I was somewhat exhausted and it's only morning. Mao joined us shortly and we took a car ride to another estate...deeper within the mountain. It's much older than the one I'm staying at, not to mention much smaller. The brick walls are covered in ivy and it has a rather...haunted look to it. Sorrell and Mao waited outside while I entered by myself. The moment I entered the house, the doors behind me swung shut, it's dark...she didn't bother to have any lights on when I entered, how like her...always the flair for the dramatic. Suddenly, candles lining the walls lit themselves, indicating a path for me to follow...and follow I did. Until I reached a room...and a small old woman was there. Her white hair tied up in a big bun on top of her head while her dark brown eyes stared at me with a smile on her face.
"I'm glad you got my message...it's been many years...great-grandmother." I said smiling at the old woman.
"Oh, my cute little Lucy. It's been over a decade since I last saw you. Look at you, all grown up and a beautiful young woman like your mother." Grandmother said as I walked towards her.
"I like to think my beauty can't compare to big sister Luka." I kissed her cheeks before taking a seat on the other side of the table. "Half of the reason why I returned is because I wished to speak with you. Of the day you made a deal with Luciana."
"You realize this, dear me..."
"I have her memories of that day along with a few others."
"I love you, you do know this..."
"...You do, but you love the rest of your family just as much so it's hard for you to just choose one over everyone else. That's why after the incident...you allowed me to think you had died and that the music box I received was a last gift from you...because you regret your choice." A cute little Japanese doll wheeled over to me, holding a tray with tea. I began setting the table, even pouring two cups. "Sugar, milk, perhaps some lemon?"
"Just half a spoonful of sugar."
"Of course." I added it before stirring it. I placed the cup before my grandmother before sitting back down, not touching my drink. I'm not too fond of tea. "The deal that you had made...was quite frankly my life...my life for the safety of the rest of the family. That's why Luciana was more than happy to sacrifice Yuuta to save Luna...it wouldn't count if I sacrificed my life for his...as my life belonged to her. She was trying to keep up her end of the bargain while keeping her heir."
"..."
"I know you didn't bother to make the payment for my return, instead forcing it upon Sorrell and Mao...I cannot forgive Luciana for what she has done to Yuuta and I...what makes you think I won't forgive you for what you've done to my only two friends?"
"You love me dearly."
"I love you, but can I forgive you. That is the question."
"..." Grandmother motioned for one of the little Japanese dolls. One came over to me, a familiar looking music box on its tray. "Luciana had two created. One to seal away your memories...one for your own use. It should come in handy in the future. It has the same functions as the one used on you. This is the reason you returned, isn't it?"
"...Thank you." I took the music box, using my flames to store and hide it within my very soul. "Is that all, grandmother?"
"No...I wish to know about your journey so far. Will you indulge this old woman for a while?"
"...Of course...Of course..."
I told her the story of my journey...of the places I've seen, of the people I've talked with...I told her about how I learned to fight...thanks to Kurogane. Grandmother asked me about the people I was traveling with. I told her about the Sakura first, how the girl is a princess with an incredibly gentle heart. Grandmother only laughed saying she sounded like me when I was younger, such a sweet child. I told her of Fai and Kurogane, to which she asked if I was in love with one of them. I could only smile bitterly...before telling her how I lost my eye due to the Syaoran we knew at the beginning of the journey.
"I see, so that is what had happened..." Grandmother said releasing a small sigh.
"I can only survive if I drink the blood of Kurogane or Fai. They refuse to let me die...despite the fact I would have been happy to be sealed away...If I allowed Yuuta to die with Lucius, I would be allowed to live...but with those injuries, I would have died anyways. Then I would be reincarnated and he would be dead...ending that cycle...and hopefully ending this dream..." I said playing with the rim of the teacup.
"Yet you are alive now. You wish to live." Grandmother said smiling at me.
"No, I'm merely biding my time."
"...You plan on dying, don't you? Here I thought you would long outlive me."
"...Another piece falls into my hands...Depending on whether or not I fail...will determine whether or not I shall live...or die." Throughout this journey, I've obtained pieces I need to save Yuuta from Lucius...if that fails...I will erase his existence...Luciana's existence...and in turn, my very own existence. "If I fail, no one will remember me...no one. Except perhaps two...the ones with no place to go...perhaps the other Suzaku as well..."
"Do you resent my decision?"
"Grandmother, you are the head of our family after grandfather died. You decided whether or not someone was worthy of knowing about the truth of our family, to obtain knowledge of magic. I would have been worthy when I was 10 if not for the incident...that is why I was given Mao and Sorrell as bodyguards..."
"You and your sisters each obtained your own guards. Luka was fortunate to receive a female friend her age. While Luna..."
"Luna didn't acquire one because I took Sorrell. Sorrell's family would have held him back a year to ensure he is only one year above her. I needed the extra protection...Luna obtained protection...from both mine and Yuuta's sacrifice. She was the start of the Ouroboros, but it only continued with Yuuta and I. It will end with only one or both of us.."
"Yes, Luna will never be harmed be it an accident nor disease. The protection you both gave to her would ensure she would live a life without harm."
"..." I took a look at the clock. It's almost time for lunch. Just as I thought that, one of the dolls came by with lunch...beef stew. "...Do these dolls run on magic or science?"
"A bit of both." I placed both plates down, clearing away the cold tea. The dolls went off and I still didn't touch the food. "Not to your liking, dear?"
"I don't require food, I can eat it...but it doesn't bring me any real satisfaction. I need blood to survive..."
"You're forgetting that you used to be human. You've already adapted to being a vampire."
"..."
"At least try a bite. I made it myself."
"...Very well." I stirred it a bit before using my spoon to cut a potato in half. I blew on it before eating it. "...Warm..."
One...two...three more spoonful...I lost track of how much I had eaten until my dish was emptied. I placed my spoon down...before the tears began to drip down my cheek once more...I already cried three times since I returned...I was right, I have to leave before it's too late. If I don't...it'll only hurt me more. To know that this just might be the last time I would see my loved ones.
"You were always such a big crybaby." Grandmother said moving to stand beside me.
"If I don't...I won't be able to save Yuuta. I won't be able to stop myself from breaking down and telling those I am traveling with. I have to create a distance between us. Act as if I hate Kurogane and Fai...to push them away to protect them...only Sakura understands...and that's what hurts...she can be with him...and I'll only end up disappearing...!" I cried rubbing at my eye.
"Lucy...if I knew this would happen..."
"You have to think about the family. You're the head of the family before you are my grandmother."
"..."
"Duty before one's heart...wasn't that what you always told me?"
"In truth, Luciana was the one to tell me that. I decided to teach you that as well...to make sure you know that you can't always protect your heart."
"...I have to go..."
"...Take a walk with me, dear."
"..."
"I won't live long enough to see you if you do succeed and live. I want one last walk with my sweet baby girl."
"Of course you do."
I held my grandmother's hand, helping her walk as we went outside. Mao and Sorrell were still waiting...but when they saw my grandmother...well, let's just say I never seen them stand up and straighten themselves out so quickly. Grandmother only waved them off as we walked past them. The elderly woman tapped her cane against the dirt path.
"I doubt you'll ever forgive me before I die...Well, I deserve it for choosing status over my little baby girl..."
"I don't have the luxury of holding grudges..."
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Chapter 55 Ends
Could you forgive a loved one for doing something like that? I'm too soft-hearted, I would still love them...but it would be difficult to forgive them. If Lucy didn't have Luciana's memories...There would have been a lot more shouting, placing blame, and words that couldn't be taken back. With Luciana's memories, she knew the reasoning behind everything, every interaction between the two of them...but it'd still be hard to forgive them. Lucy's decision to erase her existence along with Luciana and Lucius is only a last resort...will that be her future...nothing more than a faint memories of two with no place to go? Welp, since I didn't update last week, you'll get a second chapter later on today. There's also a joke series I wrote for Fate/Grand Order with OC characters being summoned as Servants. Go ahead and read that if you feel like it. You can even put in a request if you'd like.
