Author's Note: The parts in italics are flashbacks, just to make that clear. Thanks for all the feedback! And MaryPeace, I'm sorry to hear about your nails, but I'm not sure whether this next installment will help lol
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Zoie
Two weeks later…
"I spoke to a man in the tavern. He says the mage lives on the far side of the village," Jace said when he returned to the camp we had set up about a mile away from Delfas the night before. We arrived late and had to wait until morning to begin our search for Szerak, the mage who had explained the Blood Stone to Anna. Jace had insisted on going by himself to find out the man's location before I entered the town.
"Then we'll go now. I don't want to waste any time. Hopefully we can start back before sundown," I told him, pulling on my cloak and raising the hood. It was unlikely that anyone would recognize me here, but I didn't want to take any unnecessary risks.
"I'm sure she is fine, Zo," he assured me softly. "Kes and Rachel are with her."
He was speaking of Anna, of course. She was supposed to come with me but, after the news of her pregnancy, we had decided it was best if she remained at the secret house. Rachel had readily volunteered to stay with her during the time I was gone, and Kes would be there whenever Rachel had to work. I knew she wasn't alone, but for the past two months, I had spent most of my time with her, especially the last couple weeks. It wasn't so much that I feared for her safety, I just missed her and wanted to go back as soon as I could.
"I'm not going to give it up," Anna said, startling me from the edge of sleep as we laid on our bed. It was late and the room was dark, save for the light of the candles that stood burning on the desk.
"Give what up?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her hand move to rest over her stomach. "This baby," she whispered. I turned my head to look at her, holding my breath and waiting for her to continue. It had been three days since she had found out that she was with child, but she had yet to talk about it and I hadn't pushed her to. I figured it was best to let her bring up the subject herself and now that she had, I didn't want to say anything that might cause her to close up again. "I never knew my parents," she began. "I know what it's like to not know who you are or where you came from and… well, I guess I've always known it was possible that the reason my mother gave me up was because I was conceived in the same way as this baby. I use to think about it a lot, you know? Why… why she didn't want me…" she trailed off as her eyes filled with tears. I stayed silent, placing my hand over hers and squeezing softly. She gave me a small smile before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "I promised myself that, no matter what, I would never abandon my child- not as long as I was still breathing. I would never allow it to feel the way I felt. To feel unwanted by the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally… nobody deserves that. But, honestly, now that this has happened, I understand why she would give me up if- if she would have to live with seeing my face every day and being reminded of how I came to be. But I'm not going to do that," she stated, her voice becoming slightly stronger. "Even though a part of me really wants to, I'm not going to do it. And I know I can't ask you to-"
"No," I cut her off before she could say anymore. She hadn't been the only one thinking about the options; they were all I thought about the past three days. I rolled onto my side, leaning on my elbow and looking straight into her frightened eyes, "I'm not going anywhere, Anna. No matter what you decide, I am going to be with you as long as you want me, because I know that I'll always want you," I told her. "You might not have had your mother to tell you this, but you have me, and I mean it when I say that I will always love you, unconditionally, until the day I die… and surely even after that. And if you want to keep this child, I will love it the same way... because I know that when I look into his or her face, I won't see that man… I'll see you," I whispered, lacing my fingers through hers, "It would be impossible for me to not love them."
Silent tears streamed from her eyes as she reached up and pulled me down, kissing me hard. "I can't believe you exist," she breathed against my lips. "I'd be lost without you."
I pulled away, but remained only inches from her face, holding her gaze, "Then I'm glad I found you. I love you… so much, Anna…"
It took less than an hour to arrive at Szerak's home; Delfas was a rather small village. "Wait here, okay? I'm not sure how long I will be, but I want to go alone," I told Jace.
"Are you sure that's wise?" he asked.
"Yes. I'll be fine. I'm the judge, remember? I can take care of myself," I said with a small smile. "I'll see you soon." He nodded and I walked up the path to the cottage, trying not to let my nerves get to me.
"Maybe Castor is right. Maybe you should just send some of the guards to go get this mystery mage instead of going yourself," Kes said as we walked through the palace and towards the secret passage way. Tomorrow morning I was leaving to go to Delfas and I wanted to spend as much time with Anna as I could before dawn.
We took a turn, finding ourselves in the seemingly dead-end hallway and I stopped and looked at her, "I thought you of all people would be the one encouraging me to do this."
"Yea, well…" she trailed off with a shrug. "You saw what happened to Castor when he left. And Vessus is gone now, too! Don't get me wrong, I know you might have a better defense, being judge and all, but you said yourself that this thing killed your parents, Zo. And what do you really know about him? He could be like the shaman that Vessus was supposed to bring back-"
"Delfas is in a completely different place than Sulstin. I seriously doubt there's a connection, but even if there is, that's part of the reason why I have to go. I can't just sit here while this thing kills everyone around me. I know there's a good chance that this won't get me any closer to stopping whoever is behind this, but Szerak knew about the blood stone so maybe he can at least explain how I made it and why."
"Then let me come with you! I'm not a fragile mortal anymore. And I've been practicing my aim so much that I could probably hit the mark better than one of your arrows!" she said and I raised an eyebrow. She shook her head, "Fine, maybe I'm not that good at it yet, but I'm close. Please, let me come?"
"I know you've been practicing. That's why I want you to stay here with Anna, so I know she'll be safe while I'm gone."
"Oh, come on! Rachel will be with her! Have you seen what she can do? And Anna can take care of herself pretty well. She doesn't need me. You do."
"Kes…" I could hear the desperation in her voice. "I'll only be gone five days. Six at the most."
She hung her head, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at the floor. "I'm really scared, Zo. What if something goes wrong? What if you get sick, too?" she whispered. "You're the only one besides my mother who never treated me differently because I wasn't Fae. You've always been there for me. You're my best friend... actually, more than that," she looked up and there were tears beginning to form in her eyes. "You're my sister… my family… If something happens to you…"
I was taken aback by her sudden show of emotion. She was speaking as though this was goodbye. I walked up to her and pulled her in for a hug, "I'm coming back, Kes. You don't need to worry about me, okay?"
"I know I'm acting stupid right now… I just… I don't know what to expect anymore. Everything is so messed up."
"I know. I get it, it's okay," I told her, pulling away, "You're my sister, too, and I love you. You know that, right?"
She nodded and wiped her eyes, "I know… I love you, too. Just promise me that you'll be careful?"
"I promise." I gave her a small smile, "If everything works out, I'll be back in time for Castor's feast. And, well, now that you're Fae and I'm the judge, you can come, too."
She let out a laugh, "I have been looking forward to that. Only took twenty-two freakin' years to get an invite…"
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, hoping that whatever was behind it would finally give me some answers.
It creaked open and I stepped back as a tall man appeared before me. His beard was the first thing I noticed; it was a light brown and hung down to his waist, making him seem more haggard than he should. The face beneath it looked to be close to mine in age but his eyes gave away the fact that he was at least a few centuries older. There was something oddly familiar about his features that I couldn't quite place.
His dark brown eyes widened slightly when I pulled back my hood, not wanting to appear threatening. "Are you Szerak?"
"It's you," he said, his voice almost too soft to hear. I furrowed my eyebrows, a little nervous by his odd reaction. He blinked a few times before seeming to snap out of his trance. Backing out of the doorway, he gestured into the house, "Yes. I am Szerak. Please, come in."
I hesitated before accepting the invitation and walking past him. As soon as I entered, my nose was assaulted by the scent of strong spices. I looked around the small kitchen I was now standing in, seeing various jars of different powders and leaves. It instantly reminded me of the room in the secret house and I felt a surge of anxiety and triumph flow through me. I was sure I had come to the right place. If anyone had answers about my mother's odd pass time, it was definitely him. But the anxiety was winning out as he closed the door then stood in front of me once more, running his eyes over my face and in them I saw a mixture of awe and fear.
I swallowed before asking, "You know who I am?"
He sighed and nodded sadly, "I wish I didn't. You shouldn't be here."
"What are you talking about?" My confusion was escalating quickly and his words made my stomach twist.
He walked to the other side of the room, "I should have known that this was coming when that girl showed up here with the Hyeshukan." Stopping by the desk that stood against the far wall, he bowed his head, his back still facing me. "I suppose she is your lover. Am I correct?" I wasn't sure if I should answer him. With every passing second, I was beginning to regret my decision to come in here alone more and more. I almost jumped when he suddenly looked up at the ceiling and hissed, "Gods, Lina! This wasn't supposed to happen."
My heart started to pound when he said the name. "You knew my mother?"
He turned to look at me, "Lina was my sister."
"I didn't know she had a brother," I said.
"I'm not surprised. You were- what?- seven years old when she died? There's a lot you don't know. Besides, we weren't really on good terms back then."
"You're really going to go?"
I turned to see Castor standing a few feet away. "Yes. I am." We were almost ready to leave and I didn't want to waste any time trying to convince him that this had to be done. I handed my bow to Jace, then walked over to stand in front of Castor. "I don't want to argue about this."
He shook his head, "Neither do I. That's not why I'm here," he said and I waited for him to continue. "I know things haven't been the same between us since father's death and I am truly sorry about that. Keeping such a huge secret from you wasn't right. I know that it hurt you, yet I had hoped I could make you understand that it wasn't my decision. I had sworn my oath not to tell… but now I wish I hadn't. After seeing the way you broke your own…" he seemed to struggle to find his words, but then the corner of his mouth twitched up, "At first, I thought you were being selfish… and perhaps a little immature… but now I don't see it that way at all. What you did was incredibly brave and I envy your courage to stand up for yourself and to protect Anna. I regret that I didn't do the same and warn you of what was to come. I was wrong to think not doing that would somehow protect you."
His admission of guilt had been completely unexpected and I wasn't sure what to say. "I don't blame you for not telling me, Castor," I told him honestly.
"I do, though," he said and then sighed. "I had a dream about our mother a few nights ago."
I tried not to let my sudden anxiety show on my face, "Like a vision? You saw her?"
"No, it was just a memory of her, but I feel like it was a sign, you know? Because ever since, I can't stop thinking about what I said to you the day that she died… when you kept asking me why I couldn't wake her up by healing her. You were so young, I doubt you remember-"
"I do remember," I assured him. "You told me you could do many things, but you couldn't bring back the dead or heal a broken heart. And then you said that she was still with us… and as long as we had each other, we could get through anything."
He nodded, his eyes tired and sad. "I wasn't there for you when you needed me these past few months, but I am here now and I am sorry that I broke my promise. I hope you can forgive me, Zoie. I realize now that if we are going to get through this, we need to stick together. So if you feel you have to do this, then I support your decision."
I was left somewhat speechless by his drastic change of heart, but I was also relieved to see that he had finally come around. "Thank you," I said, before giving him a hug. "It means a lot to hear you say that. And I'm sorry, too."
"Don't be. We might have gone about things wrong, but the initial fault was mine. I just wanted to talk to you before you left. I hope you find some answers. And make sure you come back safe."
I smiled, "I'll do my best. You just make sure your party lives up to expectations, alright?"
"Oh, I'm certain you'll be pleased. I've hired several dancers." My jaw dropped at his insinuation and he laughed, "I'm joking. Well, not really. There will be dancers."
I opened my mouth, a million questions to ask, but stayed quiet when Szerak raised a hand.
"There's nothing I can do for you, Zoie. I am sorry, but you should leave."
His dismissive tone set me on edge. "I'm not leaving. I need your help."
"I can't help you."
"Why not?"
He let out a heavy sigh, "Because your fate is already written. It cannot be changed."
"How do you know that? Are you an Oracle, too?" He remained silent. "Please, tell me what you know," I pleaded, taking a few steps towards him. "I need answers. I need to know about the stone and the writings and what killed my parents-"
"I don't know anything about that," he said sharply. "The things I know will not help you."
"Tell me anyway. I'm not leaving until you do and if you know so much about me and my fate, then you should also know that I am the judge and I will not hesitate to use that to my advantage," I threatened, my frustration getting the better of me.
Szerak shook his head, "You're as stubborn as your father," he muttered, then added, "that's not a good thing." He turned back to his desk and opened one of the drawers, rifling through its contents before pulling something out. "This will do you no good," he said as he placed the scroll on the table.
I walked over and looked down, my chest tightening when I saw what was there; a drawing of myself and Castor, along with several of the symbols I had seen in the secret house and written during my black out. "What is it?"
"What was, what is, and what will be," he said.
"Did she write this?"
He pulled out a chair from the table and sat down, then gestured for me to do the same. Once I had, he said, "It was the last thing Lina wrote before she died. Your father brought it to me a few weeks after she passed. I don't know if you remember, but he was outside of the city when it happened. And when he found this, he came here the same way you did… demanding answers."
"And what did you tell him?"
"I told him I didn't know what it said."
"But you do know. Tell me."
His anger was clear in his eyes as he leaned forward, "It will do you no good. Lina wasn't just any Oracle, if she even was one. I've met two Fae that claimed to be so and they wouldn't even know where to begin with this. You see these symbols?" He thumped his finger down on the scroll, agitated. "They are not of any language ever used. Only Lina and the gods could read them. I can understand some because I grew up with her. I knew her for several hundred years, yet even my knowledge is limited."
I took a moment to really look at the symbols, realizing that none were the same. "So you aren't certain of what it says?"
"I understand enough to know that it does not reveal what caused her and your father's deaths. But I do know that whatever it is, you will not be able to stop it. At least… not in this lifetime."
"What does that mean? Not in this lifetime?"
"It means you will die before it has been defeated."
I stared at him for a moment, trying to process his words. "That's all it says? There's nothing else?"
"That's the short version, yes. The details aren't important." He sat back and continued, his tone softening, "You do not want or need to know anything more. But as for the stone… that ability you received from your father. I had always thought it was a myth that the royal blood held powers untold. But when Lina married your father, she told me the truth. Rusten was a Blood Sage and so are you. I only knew about the blood stone because I had read of one before, also believing it was just a story."
"But… he told me I was born an Oracle… that the visions killed my mother and that is why he took my ability when I was younger. If what you're saying is true, then why would I be able to write those symbols?"
His eyes narrowed, "You can't write them."
"But I did," I told him. "The night I made the blood stone, I had blacked out and when I woke up, I had the stone and I had written several of those symbols in my own blood."
"If you wrote them- if you actually had a vision- you would be able to understand what they meant. But you do not," he said calmly. "There is no way you would have her gift."
"Why not?"
"Because she was not your mother, Zoie. And before you ask, I honestly do not know who your mother is or was. I only know that Lina did not give birth to you."
His words cut through all the other questions I wanted to ask, leaving my mind blank. The one question that had been gnawing at my insides for months had finally been answered and I wasn't sure what to feel anymore. "What about Castor?"
"She did give birth to Castor, yes," he said. "I didn't want to be the one to tell you any of this. But now that you know, there is really no more I can tell you. The rest you will find out in time, which is how it should be. By not telling you the specifics, you may be able to enjoy the rest of your days without the burden of knowing how they will end. You may not understand, but this is my way of helping you."
"Why did you ask if the girl who came here before was my lover?" It was the last thing I would ask about because I knew he wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't share any more about what he knew. The next step would be to find out who else might. There had to be someone in the kingdom who could translate it for me. If Castor was of Lina's blood, then maybe there was a chance he could read it. But even so, Szerak had already confirmed that it wouldn't help me stop what was happening.
Confusion passed through his eyes quickly, then faded, "Because she could use the blood stone. I imagine one must have a rather deep connection to the maker in order to be able to see their memories."
I nodded and stood up from the chair and rested my hand over the scroll, "Can I have this?"
He sighed, "It is of no use to you, but clearly that hasn't swayed you yet." Getting up, he walked to stand in front of me, "Lina may not have been your mother, but she did love you as though you were her own, so I see you as my blood. Please, don't dwell on this."
I picked up the scroll, "Thank you for your help."
"Hold on," he said before I could turn to leave. He hurried back over to his desk and began to search through his drawers once more. After a few minutes, he came back over and handed me a folded and sealed scroll, "You must give this to Castor."
I furrowed my eyebrows and examined it, "What is it?"
"He will understand someday. Just make sure it gets to him."
"I will." I turned and left without another word. A part of me had already known that coming here wouldn't bring me any closer to finding what killed my parents, but as I walked out, his words all crashed down on me, full force.
He said my fate was written but I couldn't let myself believe that. I had to fight to hold onto the hope that I could change my apparent destiny, even though it had diminished greatly from what it was before I entered the cottage.
