Bad Blood
When you start to speak is when you start to shake
When you side step the questions do you break a leg
When the time has passed on another day
Did you fall that far just to pave the way?
And all of the things that you said to me
And all of the ways that you make believe That the life that we shared hasn't come unglued in front of us
I scowled with anger with his words fading out. My fists were clenched tightly on the table with my heart racing hard against my chest. Mother had her hand on my shoulder trying to comfort and calm me. She knew I was upset. That I was angered and void of no other emotion. My grief from seeing my father die before my eyes had to be put aside in favor of another emotion. How the rage flowed through me already and I had yet to settle in. I stared at him as he sat back in the chair. Arms crossed over his chest waiting for me to answer.
I hated how he look so calm in this matter. Not seeing how much hurt and pain I was hiding inside of me. I felt as if I was going to rip his head off the moment he spoke to me. The only thing keeping me from doing so was my mother who was my only source of comfort. I have yet to expose my weakness to her. To tell her all that was bottled. But, here we were. Being told something that disturbed my being.
How I grow tired of those thinking they knew what was best. I was thrown into this chaotic situation without guidance. Could I not have peace?
My lip quivered from the bottled up anger. My fingernails scratched the wood surface. Since meeting with Sargon, he had asked to speak with me. It seemed unnerving to me that he wanted to speak of something that I knew nothing of. With my mother supporting me and my wounds cleaned, I found it necessary to ask Sargon why he traveled back to speak with me.
If it was something of importance, it must have been urgent. Though, if I would of known the contents of this meeting, I would have cursed the assassin out with words that would have shamed the gods.
We were in the basement of the house with only my mother, Sargon, and myself. Connor was nowhere to be found and Achilles knew of our discussion. Sargon had told the older man and he was not pleased, but being a former assassin, he had no say in what the council decided.
They had so much power and none could go against their word. It was in their creed: never compromise the brotherhood. Many of its assassins had taken an oath. To understand the power many master assassins held, one would have to have enough courage to speak against them. Which could lead to death.
"No. How dare you come to me and tell me I have no choice in this matter. After losing my father for God's sake! You come here and tell me this? Am I not the only woman in this forsaken world with some sense? I am nothing but a pirates daughter." I slammed my hand on the table. The pain coursing through my body making me tremble. My wounds on fire causing me to cringe and place my hand near it. I felt wronged and betrayed. Who else knew? Why keep something of this value from me until I was left vulnerable?
"This could not have waited another day? Your people are rushing this and I will not allow my daughter being rushed into something that could risk her likelihood." My mother scorned. Sargon did not flinch at the matter. He sighed heavily with a pained look in his eyes. Having traveled all this way once more, I knew he was not all too happy with being in my presence.
I felt the same since we did not have a good start from the beginning. He still held resentment towards me. His words and stare said it all and I wanted nothing more than to get away from him. I felt trapped against my own will with no way out. I thought all would fall into place once the pirates were no longer a threat. But I was wrong.
"It was not my decision. The council deemed it necessary to make this choice. I am but a messenger in all this." Sargon stated.
I closed my eyes for a moment. All my anger. All the confusion that was stirring inside of my frail mind. How could I be placed in this predicament? How could this council make this decision without my knowing? My mother tried to reason with Sargon on my behalf. But, he would not budge on the matter at hand.
Damn the assassins and their creed. Damn them all!
"I refuse to accept this! I am not part of the creed. I never was apart of them not shall I ever be!" I stood quickly knowing my wounds would open. I wanted rest. I needed to control my thoughts before I ended up doing something I'd regret. Sargon was silent for a moment. He was struggling with it as well, but he had to continue to throw blows at my already weakened state.
How dare they! Do they think I would accept this? To agree to something I never wanted? Those bastards were making decisions for me. If I could, I would travel across the sea and fight them. I would do all that I could to get away from their prying eyes, yet I had only myself to blame in all this. My father trained me and told me to stay. I wanted to become them, yet I was not.
Here I am, blaming the assassins when I freely fought by their side. How long have they kept their eyes on me? Was it because of my association with Connor and Achilles?
"I only did what I was told." I pointed to myself. "Is it not enough for your council or do they need more blood? Should I provide them with another finger or scars even? Not like they took something of cause from me." My words came out like pure venom. The thought of the past few days have left me bitter, in grief, wanting to be left to my own device.
"You associated with the creed the moment you helped Connor. You are much like an assassin with your training, Seliah. The council wants to preserve the Jaguar way and not let it fade into obscurity. You have to accept this or risk being killed." I grabbed the assassin by his collar and brought him close to my face.
My mother warned me to let Sargon go. I wouldn't listen to her. For as much love as I have for her, I just could not let anyone seal my fate. This was my choice and if they wanted to kill me, than so be it. My actions were proving useless towards the assassin.
"Being killed by assassins, you mean? All for not accepting this? I thought the brotherhood had more honor than that." I thought of the years that passed. Learning about the brotherhood and their creed. How much history they had with their war against the Templars. Throughout my life, I only had a goal to win the war. But, there was so much more going on below the surface.
"First Elliot and now the council. Why would you people not let me live in peace?" I felt pain. My voice cracking from the emotion within me. Fighting to reach the surface, I wanted to understand why they sought me? Could they not find another woman? Someone more fit than I?
Sargon did not hesitate. Our eyes locked and our breathes colliding. I might have looked like a wild woman with my hair in a tangled mess, but I cared not for my appearance. I had yet to change out of my clothing into something more cleaner.
"This is more than a war of the colonies. You have fought by his side for too long and yet, you do not see. Has your declaration for Connor blinded you so or are you willing to die because you cannot see it?" I blinked for a moment trying to process what Sargon said. But, I was too bullheaded to see it through.
"I will not agree to a marriage that was decided for me." I pushed him back. Causing Sargon to gruff when his back hit the chair. For a moment to he was unbalanced and close to falling back, but he caught the table to prevent it from happening.
"You have no choice! Do you want to be hunted down? Do you think I am happy about this? Being married to one of the creed can preserve your lineage. Do you not care for what you can provide to us?" Sargon argued.
"You would not be some wife of a lower rank. You have the training of an assassin. You have knowledge that can be passed down. Why won't you take the offer?" I looked to my mother for a moment. She was battling with herself on what to say. I knew she wanted me to say yes and that it would have been for the best. I know her people and their ancient way was important to her. But, I could not agree to an arranged marriage.
The rank of a stranger mattered nothing to me. It was what they asked from me. How could I pursue something that has been hiding for centuries?
"Is that all I am to you and the brotherhood? I had served and fought by Connor's side and this is what the council wanted? Marriage because I am something that once served them? I am more than what you see. My father was killed trying to protect something you could not!" I threw what contents that were on the table with a swipe of my arms. My anger was overcoming me.
"Seliah." My mother yelled.
I had to ignore her words. If I was any other woman without all that I know, I would have agreed. But, by the gods I just could not. Not with what was happening all around me. There was an unrest within my soul beckoning me to leave. To find what I am searching for.
"Your father! Your father was the reason we had failed to protect the Ark. Marriage is the only way we as a brotherhood could protect the Ark. Be grateful that whom was decided has agreed to this decision. We are trying not to tie you down, but you being defiant towards us is making me glad I am not the one to ask for your hand in marriage." Sargon stood up and slammed his hands on the table. My mother place her hands on our chest to keep us from moving further. Her being the peace between us, I did not care if this person agreed on this decision.
"Calm yourself now, child. Your in no position to fight. Not with your wounds still stitched." She warned.
I closed my eyes tightly. "How can I fight knowing I will never have children?!"
My voice was loud that whomever was above us could hear me. I did not care. I did not care if the world knew my wounds. This was the only way to get marriage out of Sargon's mouth. He could tell the counsel this and they would leave me be.
I opened my eyes to Sargon's shocked expression. The mental thoughts bouncing through his mind with dry lips. My mother placed her hands by her side with a frown.
"You would not be expected to bare children." I pushed the chair behind me back without hearing what Sargon had to say. This did not change his mind. I was afraid nothing will. The brotherhood had too much power. I was on my own in this fight to keep from being caught.
The tension in the air had not yet diminish. My mother sat quietly as she followed me with her eyes. Limping away and not wanting to hear anymore of this, I had to walk away. My emotions were gathering and waiting to burst like a dam. The tears were threatening to come out. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and this decision that would change me.
Children of Adam and Eve.
Seliah.
I clenched my teeth as I reached the top of the stairs. The voices were whispering in my thoughts. I had ignored them. I grew tired of them speak in to me. What do they want from me? Have I suffered enough? My head was throbbing now in pain, causing me to take a sharp breath in.
Slamming the door behind me, I had to leave. My body was on fire as the images flashed before my eyes.
"Seliah?" I took a breath in and fell towards into the darkness. I could feel my body shaking against someone holding me close to them.
Seliah. His voice. My fathers voice called out to me. In my time of need, you abandoned me. How could the gods forsake us?
I opened my eyes to the moonlight shining through the window. I must have slept through the day. Moving my arm to make the soreness disappear, I noticed that I was in my room. The last thing I remember was falling into darkness. The voices once more reaching out to me. Then, I heard my name. Sitting up in the low light, I looked down to see I was in a different set of clothing. Some pain had shot through my spine causing me to clench my teeth.
I felt nauseated from the lack of food and drink. But, I did not want it. I don't think I would be able to hold anything down.
"Seliah?" I heard her soft voice in the darkness.
"Mother?" I groaned.
I heard her footsteps coming close to me. Her weight being noticed as she sat down by my side. I could see her faintly in the moonlight. Her hand on my cheek and the other brushing my hair back. I felt at peace with her by my side and all that has happened easier in the day, I only wanted to be by her. To feel protected by her. I have felt so strong by myself that I wanted to let it all go.
There was much more bothering me. Not the war between men, but by the simple fact I cannot have children. My body was useless now.
"I am here Seliah. I am here." She whispered in a calming tone.
I pulled her close to me. I did not care about how much pain I was in. I wanted peace and solidarity to overcome me. The past few years have been chaos and mixed emotions. Now with Grey Eye dead, I had an obligation to continue fighting by Connors side. But, was it something that I wanted? So much has changed since I started my journey. All the secrets that I know. All the people that I've crossed paths with. Everything is changing quickly and I have ever no control over what my path is anymore.
Is this who I am to become? I've noticed that I have many questions than answers. I was left with those questions. Father had left us and I felt lost without him. He was the reason I was here to comfort my mother. If he could see how us now, he would want us to move forward. But, how was I to do so?
"Forgive me for my actions earlier. I am not ready for marriage mother. Not when we are still at war. Not with all this fighting. Not when there are still targets. I cannot pull through with it no matter who they chose for me. I cannot let them control me like they do others." I stated.
The brotherhood could not control my actions. Even though my father trained me and guided me here, I was only doing what was asked of me. What would I have gained from this war? What would my future hold once the war ends? All that was left of me was a woman who could not decide her own fate. Yet, the brotherhood made it easy to do so. To manipulate what was around them for their own gain.
I had fought tooth and nail, losing a finger in the years since fighting alongside Connor for the assassins. With the Ark haunting my mind, I had to choose wisely one my next move. I understood why the assassins wanted me to marry. I knew where the Ark hides. I was its protector from those seeking it. As a Jaguar warrior, my knowledge would be of use to them. I denied them because I was not ready to face being with a man.
The war between Templars and assassins would not stop here. I do not believe it will ever stop. Not with the Ark still out there. There are still more powerful treasures in the world, but the Ark itself is one of the more powerful. One of the more spiritual.
I pulled away from my mother with conflicting thoughts. Even in the low light, she could see how tired I was. Too see me in this kind of state must have been worrying for her. I was her only family left. I was to protect her, but my role in all this had changed coarse. What was once a straight path had become split and narrow.
"I understand, Seliah. But, you have to see how important this is. What is being asked of you is a burden. I know your father would have denied it, but with him gone, the brotherhood has decided what is best." I sighed heavily at my mothers words. She has taken this lightly. No one could decide anything for me. I've been making my own decisions since the day my father left me on my own. What the brotherhood knows of me is so little. They are taking me for a fool. To say what they know is best makes me want to abandon all that I've sacrificed.
I will never be the same woman that my mother knows. It makes me sad when I think about it, but fighting for this long has changed my view of what I've been fighting for. To carry the burden of being some guardian will take its toll.
"I am not some prized jewel to be sold. Having me married would do nothing for the brotherhood. They say they would preserve your people, mother. Am I wrong for denying it? I know they want more from me because of what father knew. What he did in Masyaf those many years ago." I cast my eyes away from her. The shame of remembering the story. The one event that haunted father for a long time. Mother placed her hand on my own and squeezed.
"It is as if his burden has been last down to me and the brotherhood wants to keep a close eye on me. It is as if I have betrayed them because the Ark is now in my possession. I have yet to find it, not that I want to. But I feel it calling to me. For what purpose? I do not know." The heavy weight upon my shoulders had worn me. I was tired. I was frustrated. The road that I was now following had scratched the surface of my subconscious.
My mother spent so much time here with Achilles while father and I were gone. Risking our necks for reasons that would make no difference to those around us. Only shadows doing the tasks no one would dare to do.
The stories he must of told her so she could understand our purpose might have been similar to what her people have done for years and years. The many nights and long weeks without us changed her. I could see it heavily upon her face. With what my mother knew, she has an understanding of my feelings. Of my thoughts about this ordeal. I was just another pawn. Another soldier to be used in war.
A shadow that had to protect something that would destroy man.
"I do not want you to be hunted down like some animal for the rest of your life, Seliah. I know your angry and in grief right now. I am feeling what your feeling. I do not want to see you like this. I lost your father. I do not want to lose you too. I do not want you to be placed in this situation where many women have no choice. You were taught differently." She said after a long pause.
No matter what I do, I would always be a target.
"There is no way around it. Elliot had asked for my hand in marriage. A Templar himself disguised as a pirate. Now the brotherhood wants the same of me. I always thought that I would escape it all. That I would not marry." I could see the shock on her face when I spoke. No one knew of Elliot asking for marriage. It see me that both sides would have benefited in some way no matter my decision.
"You should get some rest, Seliah. You will not recover faster if you think to much of this." My mother said. "When you are rested, only then could you choose."
That was the thing. I would not be able to move on from it.
She stood up from the bed and kissed my forehead. All these conflicting emotions would not die. For the first time, I could not escape my fate. The gods had sealed me and waited for me to fight my way out of the cage. I have made many sacrifices and even prayed to them for guidance for years. Now, it felt as if they have abandoned their child.
"I have a choice to make, mother. I am afraid whatever I choose, you will become sad." I don't know why I said this. I cannot fathom why, but I know it was the truth. My mother knew our time together was limited. With my recovery, I had much to think about.
"You are your fathers daughter. Even I could not keep him from the sea." She said to me. Her voice hurt from those words.
The sea.
So many voices call in to me. But one always was clear. Always loud.
"I am sorry if I hurt you. I never would have imagined how hard it is for you to see us leave. But mother, you were always there when we came back." I turned my attention to the window.
I had much to think about as I recover. What would be my intentions? Through all my grief, there was something else that nagged at me. Something that would not lie down.
Before she could leave the room I was curious about something.
"Who have they chosen?" Even though I was not going to agree with the marriage, I wanted to know who they chose.
She opened the door and some light peaked through the crack. I might have imagined it all, but I sworn I heard the sound of the floor boards creak from outside the room. The shadows moved quickly and hid before they could be seen.
I blinked away the motion to focus on my mother. She hesitated for a moment and wondered if she could tell me. I would not have been mad if she did not tell me. Surely, she must have known whom was chosen. Sargon must have spoken to her when I left the basement. Or so I would have imagined.
What she said made me question why they chose him and why he agreed to it. "They chose Connor."
AN: You readers deserve a completed story that has been ongoing for a couple of years. I know I am updating the newer version, but I felt that if I did not give you guys a conclusion then all my hard work and dedication to this fix would have been for nothing. I hate having to not complete something I started a while back and that is an issue with fits we love reading about. This isn't the last chapter. We have a few more to go before the ending.
I promise we are nearing the end. I would say two more chapters or three. Depending on the length I put these last chapters. We are at the home stretch.
To clarify, I am updating the newer one as we speak and I am taking my time looking over it with some help of another author. They've been a big help in this story. Check it out
