Thank you, thank you, thank you! For the wonderful reviews... I know I say it frequently, but I TRULY appreciate them . I've had a really yucky day... writing has been a great outlet and the reviews have made me feel so much better.
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I know this one's been done to death, too, but the story didn't feel complete without touching on the time between when Jack left and when he came back.
Chapter Fifty One: Picking up the Pieces
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Ianto refused to go home until the mess was cleaned up again. Tosh tried to tell him it could wait until morning, but why put off until tomorrow what could be done today? That's what his mam had always said.
So he cleaned.
Tosh helped.
Owen and Gwen helped too, at least until they started bickering about who was going to be in charge. Ianto didn't hear what had started the argument just the way it escalated until they were screaming at each other about things that had nothing to do with aliens or Torchwood or even Jack.
No one noticed Ianto going into Jack's office.
The mess in the Hub wasn't the only thing he needed to take care of before he went home for the night. Over the past couple of months, Jack had asked him to look in on several of his personal projects, including Flat Holm Island. At the time, Ianto had assumed it was the Captain's way of bringing him into his life, his way of showing him how he felt because maybe he didn't know how to say the words. Ianto had thought it was Jack's way of proving to him that he meant it when he said he trusted him.
Now he knew it was Jack's way of leaving with a clean conscious, because he had left his personal projects in the hands of the one person he knew would do anything for him, no matter what.
It was odd to feel both used and flattered at the same time. Or it might have felt odd if Ianto could feel anything through the numb haze that had settled over him while he'd been cleaning.
He no longer felt hurt by the way Jack had left them; he was too busy.
He didn't feel betrayed. After all, they had never exchanged promises, so there was nothing to betray.
Ianto understood that he had been something to pass the time, nothing more, nothing less. They had each gotten something out of the arrangement. It was fine. Hewas fine.
Jack had shown him a small sliver of what his life had been before Torchwood the day he took Ianto to meet Victoria. He'd told him about the galaxies humans would some day populate, shown him alien worlds with amazing skies…all those places and people… He must have been mad with boredom here, Ianto realized on hindsight.
What could one tiny little blue planet have to offer when Jack had had all that?
How could I have been so naïve as to think you loved me? He wondered. I just hope you're happy out there, he wished in earnest. "Please let him be safe…" he found himself whispering a soft prayer on Jack's behalf. "Wherever…whenever… let him be safe." Let him be safe because I still love him and I can be all right if I can just believe that he's all right…
He wiped the moisture from his cheeks and went back to work.
Ianto was so absorbed in what he was doing he didn't hear Owen's footsteps until the medic was in the office. "Oi, what's this then?" he barked. "Tea-boy trying to take over the boss' job in his absence?"
Ianto shot a look dark enough to back Owen down, at least momentarily. "Jack asked me to take care of some things for him," the Welshman's tone was cold.
Owen folded his arms across his chest, "Well he's not here, is he?" some of the venom was gone from his tone, however.
"He asked me to take care of this in the event that he wasn't here," Ianto clarified.
"What do you mean?"
By then Gwen had joined them as well. Ianto wasn't sure where Tosh was; she may have gone home when Gwen and Owen's shouting got to be too much. Ianto certainly didn't blame her if she had, and he made a mental note to swing by her place on his way home to check in on her.
"Well?" Owen prompted when the Welshman didn't answer him right away.
"I mean, that a while back Jack asked me to take care of some things for him if he wasn't here to do it himself," he managed to keep his voice neutral, as he closed out the program.
"What sorts of things?" Owen wanted to know.
"I'm sure if he'd wanted you to know, you wouldn't have to ask me."
"You mean he knew he was leaving?" Gwen demanded.
"I doubt he was planning on running off in the middle of the night," Ianto forced a tight little smile at them. "But yeah, he knew he wouldn't always be here." He powered down Jack's computer and got to his feet. "Do either of you need anything else before I head home for the night?"
"Ianto," concern filled Gwen's big brown eyes, "Are you all right?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Jack's your lover…"
"Was, my lover," he corrected her, shoving his hands in his pockets, his tone still neutral.
"When did you two break it off?" she wanted to know.
"'Bout… three hours ago, I guess," he shrugged. It had been about that long that Jack had been gone, he reckoned.
Gwen continued to frown. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Quite, thanks," he continued smiling. He looked over at Owen, "But so you know, I'm not about to get in between you two and your fight to see who has the biggest penis."
They both looked at him, shock causing Gwen's mouth to droop open.
"Just let me know who wins," he slid his suit jacket back on. "I'm heading home now. Would whoever's left standing please lock up on their way out?"
"Ianto…" Owen found his voice before Gwen.
"Oh…erm… right. You'll both be pleased to know that Jack made me a signatory on the payroll account about six months ago when I took over the financials. So no worries there, we'll all continue to get paid."
"You… " Owen blinked. "You can sign our pay checks?"
Ianto shrugged again. "Good night."
Gwen watched him leave, unable to speak.
Owen turned to her. "Job's yours."
"What?"
"When that boy blows and takes a loaded gun into Tesco or shoots somebody for messing up his latte at Starbuck's, I do not want to be the one in charge."
"Thanks, Owen."
He smirked… then his expression softened, "We'd better keep an eye on him, though, eh?"
"Yeah. We'd better."
………………………………………….
Ianto didn't blow.
He made coffee.
He cleaned up after them.
He joined them in the field because they'd been stretched thinly as it was before Jack left.
When he found Aaron Anderson's phone number tucked into a drawer he called him and they went out for drinks. They laughed and talked about innocuous things; they even kissed a few times. It was fun. It was an escape.
It was something to pass the time.
But Ianto knew it would never be anything more, because the day Jack left, he'd taken the biggest part of the Welshman's heart with him.
It really doesn't matter that you'll never love me, Ianto thought, gazing up at the big bright 'star' that Jack had told him was really Jupiter. Because love doesn't work that way, it doesn't have to be returned to be real.
And maybe once in a while Jack would look up into some alien sky and find the spot where Earth was and remember the people here who loved him… the people who would always love him.
