Chapter Fifty
I was going to post this chapter at once but I didn't want to keep anyone waiting as I try to sort out some details in the later part of this chapter. So this is going to be posted in two parts. Things are going to move pretty fast from here so hang on to your seat. I enjoyed the reviews so much for the last chapter that I went back and read all of the reviews over the last two years. It really fueled me to give you a new chapter. I was so touched to see those that are still here after almost three years and tickled with new readers that are still jumping on too. I read every review even though I'm not good at responding so please don't forget to leave one. ENJOY and Don't forget to post!
Cuddy didn't sleep that night either. She tossed and turned feeling a mixture of guilt and anger. One minute she told herself she had every right to be mad and demand what she wanted while the next she knew she could be asking more than House was capable of. He'd already given her more than she ever expected. Did she really have a right to expect more?
Wilson wasn't the face she hoped to see when she dragged herself into her office the next morning. He had been waiting for when she came into the lobby. She assumed to give her his department's budget reports that she asked for the day before.
"You don't look so well." His warm smile at seeing her quickly faded to one of concern as he followed her into her office.
"Good morning to you too. Are those your budget reports?" She glanced over at the files he carried waving to him to hand them to her.
"You should sit down."
She gave him a stern look to say that she really didn't want to hear it, "I'm fine really, just didn't sleep last night. I've determined that pregnancy is overrated. The whole getting up to pee every half hour sort of takes the whole glow of carrying a new life thing and throws it right out the window."
Wilson chuckled, "Somehow I doubt that's the only reason you're having trouble sleeping."
She looked at her watch, "I wasn't aware that you two gossiped this early. I thought I at least had a chance to grab breakfast before the two of you consorted."
Wilson smiled, "He's not even here yet. Since when is something bothering you enough to lose sleep over that isn't related to House."
"You have a point." She sighed and slumped down in her chair, "Am I insane to think this is actually going to work?"
"This is House we're talking about. It takes a certain level of insanity to understand him."
"Am I asking too much of him? Am I just insane to expect him to commit to this?"
"I think that depends on the level of commitment you're looking for."
She didn't respond immediately, it was obvious she hadn't asked herself that question.
"I'm not really sure."
It occurred to her that she really didn't know what she expected from House. She'd spent so much time being concerned about what he wasn't in this relationship that she hadn't even thought about what she wanted. Maybe she was scared to think of what it could be. Maybe she was too scared that he couldn't measure up.
"Well that might be your problem. It's probably best to assume that House is brain dead when it comes to relationships. You have to ask for what you want, don't expect him to take the next step without spelling it out. He needs time to process."
"Do you think he's capable of a relationship with me? Of being a father?"
"I think he might surprise you. "
"Doesn't he always." She mumbled sarcastically.
"Lisa You two have only been trying at this for the last three months and he's taken some pretty big steps. Give him time; it's not easy for him."
He squeezed her shoulder and smiled warmly, "You need to get some rest. You really do look awful."
"Wish I could my replacement for maternity leave just took a position at Princeton General and is suddenly unavailable. I've got two clinic nurses out sick and an inspection to prepare for and that's just work related. We move in three days and I don't even know where House is in all of it."
"Give him time Lisa." Wilson gave her another smile and disappeared into the clinic leaving her alone with her thoughts.
It had been so long since she had any expectation of House that she didn't know if it was the fear of him failing her or her need to have a family that was driving her to push him. She had to ask herself though was she trying to have a relationship with House or was she trying to keep from getting hurt by pushing him far enough that he did fail her.
It was all too much to think about. Trying to decipher the relationship between her House was going to be about as productive as trying to understand one of House's insane metaphors. Thank God she had plenty to do to distract her.
Several hours later, feeling more than exhausted she was thinking of calling it a day when something waving outside of her office door caught her attention. It could only be House behind the little white flag that was waving ceremoniously in surrender.
She had to smile as he opened the door just wide enough to stick the flag in and wave it.
"Permission to enter?"
She nodded amused, "You know some say it with roses."
He shrugged still waving the flag, "I say it with unconditional surrender."
She raised an eyebrow, "I find that a little hard to believe."
"Okay maybe not unconditional. I can think of a condition or two but neither involve us being clothed."
She didn't look as elated as he had hoped when imagining this.
"I expected this to go over a bit better. Woman I am giving up my bachelor cave of solitude, my sanity and my dignity all in the name of love. I thought that's what you wanted."
She looked away and bit her lip, "I don't want you to surrender."
He was confused, "But you said…"
"I know what I said; I don't want you to give up anything you don't want to. It was wrong of me to expect you to make sacrifices that I hadn't even asked for. "
"Since when do I do things I don't want to…"He interrupted but he wasn't listening to her anymore. He was looking at the dark circles under her eyes and the beads of sweat prickling her forehead. She was having trouble concentrating and didn't seem steady as she lifted herself out of her chair.
She winced clutching her stomach as she continued, "I don't want you to feel pressured. This isn't something either of us would have rushed into if it wasn't for…" She trailed off as she swayed forward. She tried to brace herself but the air seemed to leave the room as it spun around her and then everything went black.
House was already propelling himself towards her, his heart stopping as his mind went into over drive. He managed to break her fall and ease her to the floor. His heart started pounding in his chest as he let the doctor in him take over before the fear of losing her or the baby paralyzed him. Within seconds doctors and nurses were surrounding her and he was barking orders and notifying his team to get their sorry asses to in there asap.
To Be Continued…
