Chapter 50

Leonard, as soon as he woke up, knew he was extremely hung over because all he wanted to do was die, his head hurt so much that he knew if he made any sudden movements he would get sick all over himself. Of course not moving was only delaying his need to go to the bathroom and throw up, however he also believed it was also keeping his head from exploding so he continued to lay in bed trying to figure out which was worse, while praying that before he was forced to make that decision death would come quickly and painlessly. Even with all this sensory overload, in the back of Leonard's mind a little voice was trying to get through all the pain and sickness, screaming at him something was wrong however that little voice seemed unwilling to tell him what was wrong so Leonard just let it be drown out by the sickening pain he was now experiencing.

Leonard's slight relief by staying motionless in bed though didn't last long, his now very awake stomach deciding his priorities for him a couple of moments later. So with a new sense of urgency he opened his eyes and verified he was in his own bedroom and quickly planned both the route and timing to the bathroom before moving his pain racked brain and body from the bed for its trip to the bathroom. It was then that he barely felt the arm come off him as he got up, making him turn to look where that arm originated from, and seeing the source of that arm made massive amounts of adrenaline pump through his body as he looked in shock at the person that armed was attached too.

Leonard was suddenly momentarily completely sober, his body running on pure adrenaline, suppressing his pain long enough to allow his brain to function on what was happening. "Alex" softly coming from his mouth as his brain now put a name to the source of that arm, then, to himself, "What have I done." as the whole scene unfolded to his mind, a sudden sickness forming in the pit of his stomach now making his sickness from the hangover become his highest priority again. Leonard was now going to throw up and nothing was going to stop that so he turned and dashed to the bathroom, just lifting the toilet lid in time, the whole while not only thinking how sick he was but also questioning what had happened the night before.

Leonard sat on the cold bathroom floor for almost a half hour, his stomach now empty and only the thought of Alex in his bed keeping him still there in misery. He was almost falling asleep where he sat, until he felt a blanket cover his shoulders and felt the closeness of arms wrapping around him, small slender arms that he knew belonged to Alex. If he had been less sick he would have pulled away, but he was so sleepy, still in so much pain that he didn't have the strength to resist as she hugged him tightly.

"How bad are you feeling Leonard?" Alex asked, in a voice that dripped with concern and compassion.

"I feel like hell." Leonard responded, while trying to purposely ignore how good it felt for someone to be so close holding him when he felt so bad.

"Why don't you lie back down, you need more sleep to feel better and I'll get you some aspirin and water to make you feel better." Alex now whispered to him, her face close to his.

It was so hard for Leonard at that moment, all he wanted was what she was offering to him, aspirin for his headache, water for his dry throat, and merciful sleep, he wanted them all and wanted them bad. He wanted them so bad that he began to rationalize his situation, if he just took aspirin and water from her and went to bed to sleep what would be so wrong with that. He needed sleep his mind kept telling him and after he had sleep he would be able to make sense of this all, it was obvious he could do nothing now, so Leonard surrendered to his own logic, and just nodded, "Okay."

So it was very long before Leonard got his aspirin and water down then started to lay back down, the need to just put his aching head on the pillow and close his eyes becaming his greatest concern. He now just wanted to sleep his pain and this whole situation he was in away, so he got semi comfortable, slowly starting to drift away, when he barely noticed the body coming close to his and the arm going around him to hold him. However he was way too tired to resist and believing nothing could happen in his current state was the last thought that allowed him to drift off to sleep.

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Penny got up at dawn that Saturday to do her chores, it was days like this that made her confused how she was suppose to feel. It had been a couple weeks now since she had unsuccessfully tried to contact Leonard and even the additional times she tried during the following weeks turned unsuccessful for her. But even with her sister helping her, she still found it hard to accept that Leonard was gone, she still wanted him and couldn't even think of another man except him. It was because of these feelings she was glad she had chores to do that morning, work to keep her busy at, letting her mind rest, because she knew from her therapy that obsessing over anything or anybody was bad for her and she honestly never wanted to be that that bad again. She did feel stronger than before, however Leonard was never about being weak, at least to her, it was about someone she felt safe with when she was weak, someone who by just holding her made everything better.

She didn't cry anymore, she had also become more in control of her emotions and was able to harden herself some against the world now, she was able to put up walls again against the pain. However, she still couldn't think of the future because all her future dreams she had included Leonard, until a few weeks ago, so now dealing with the future without him was beyond her ability to cope with. She hadn't even realized she had stopped getting ready and sat back down on her bed half dressed her thinking about Leonard occupying all her thoughts, so will new strength she had gained with Carol's and her sister's help she forced herself to finish dressing and heading out to do something other that miss Leonard.

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It was almost 3 PM when Leonard woke up again, this time more alert and not as sick as before, at least he didn't want to die at that moment. With his mind being relatively better than before, he was also more cognizant of his position now and that position was in bed with a warm body behind his and an arm draped over him holding him against that warm body. He had only to look down at that arm to know it was a woman's and to also know that woman was Alex. So now the pain of the hangover that morning was being replaced by the pain of the thought that he may have had sex with Alex the night before, that thought making him mumble 'Crap'.

"Are you feeling better, Leonard?" Alex said while now moving to sit up so she could be up above him to see him.

Leonard turned his head slightly to look up at her, not actually sure what to say but responding lamely, "Yeah a little."

"You don't feel like throwing up again do you? Would you like some more water and aspirin?" she quickly now asked him.

"Aspirin and water would be good." he again lamely answered.

"Okay." Alex responded, a large smile on her face. Then she bounded out of the bed to the bathroom.

Leonard watched her then go from the bathroom to the kitchenette they had in the apartment, moving his head around making the need of more aspirin and water more prominent on his mind as his head felt worse from the movement. However watching her also made him more concerned about the night before as he noticed she was wearing his T-shirt from the day before and it went down low enough that he couldn't tell if she was wearing anything else. Leonard had no idea what to do now, so he just laid his head back down and closed his eyes, not moving until he felt the bed move as someone got back in with him, firmly believing it was Alex.

"Leonard I have some water and aspirin for you." she whispered to him, her mouth so close he could feel her breath on his cheek.

He sighed internally, "Thank you Alex." Then he opened his eyes to see her looking down at him with innocent doe eyes that seemed to be full of hope and compassion. There was nothing he could do, he would never make a woman leave who slept with him, especially a woman who didn't seem to want to go, until she wanted to leave. So Leonard just lifted himself up slowly and carefully to take the aspirin and drink the water, immediately noticing the small smile on Alex's face and giving her a small smile back and a nod of appreciation.

"Why don't you rest a while longer and let the aspirin start to work, Leonard." Alex whispered to him while putting her hand on his shoulder.

Leonard being unsure what to do, just nodding and laying back down, again thinking more sleep couldn't hurt at this point either. "Thanks Alex." The last sense he felt before he fell asleep again being Alex's arm going around him again as she pulled her body against his back.

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They had been awake now for over an hour, so after convincing Alex about having some residual pain from his hangover situation, Leonard managed to convince Alex to take her shower first. It was therefore no sooner than she went into the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower, Leonard turned on Howard. "What the hell happened last night, Howard?"

Howard snickered, "I don't know, why don't you tell me." he then smiled a very creepy smile, "And don't leave out any of the details."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Leonard said with desperation in his voice.

"Well I offered to let her sleep with me, when it was obvious she wanted to stay, but she was all 'Leonard needs me' and when I then offered that we could all sleep together, she declined." Howard told him.

"Howard you're a pig." Leonard then walked over and sat on the couch putting his head in his hands. "Why did you let her stay in the bedroom with me?"

"Hey, like I said, I offered her my bed, but she wanted to be with you. She just insisted on helping you into you bedroom, then closed and locked the door." Howard shrugged. "I asked her if she need help, but she just answered 'NO' through the door."

Leonard sighed, "You don't know if we…..you know…had sex." the last two words almost a whisper.

"I sure hope so." Howard said with a huge smile.

"Howard I'm serious." Leonard lashed out at him.

"So am I." Howard responded with a chuckle, but then when Leonard gave him a glare, "I don't know, but there was a lot of noise coming out of your bedroom for a half hour, bed springs making noise like it was all happening on the bed, plus a lot of it you moaning."

"Oh Crap." Leonard again put his head in his hands, it seemed like that bad headache from that morning was trying to come back.

"I don't know what you are so upset about, Alex is hot and over 21, I bang her in a second." Howard seriously told him.

Leonard just shook his head, immediately regretting it as it just made his head feel worse.

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Penny had been more quiet this Saturday and Carol just waited till they were on the horses halfway along the trail they took many Saturdays since Carol now rode each weekend at Penny's parents farm. Carol had long ago discovered that the horses calmed Penny and relaxed her to a point she would answer questions when she became quiet like today. "So Penny how was your week."

In Penny's mind the word 'Crap' immediately came up, but to Carol she just shrugged, "Same as always."

Carol knew something was wrong now, Penny had been all excited when her sister came back into her life but now last week and this week she hadn't mentioned her sister hardly at all. "Penny please tell me what is wrong….maybe I can help."

Penny was more desperate than she even understood, so Carol offering to help suddenly sparked a little hope within her, after all Carol had helped her over the months before and Penny could trust her. "I've tried to get in touch with Leonard, but I haven't had any luck. Do you know how to contact him?" She blurted out immediately, hint of desperation in her request.

Carol and her horse stopped in their tracks, Carol now good enough in controlling the animal that she unconsciously stopped the horse like it was a part of her. "How have you tried to contact Leonard?"

Penny turned her horse to face her doctor, then told her everything her and Lindsey did the last few weeks. "I don't know what else to do. Can you help?"

Carol could see the hope in Penny's eyes, this whole thing with Leonard surprised her, she actually thought Penny was getting over Leonard but now she saw how wrong she was. There was one thing she couldn't do to her however, she couldn't directly lie to Penny, so Carol quickly composed herself and replied. "Penny, do you really want to talk to him, it has been months since you left California, over half a year, don't you want to just leave that place behind? You're happy here now aren't you?"

Penny nodded, she was happy being home, but she still wanted to talk to Leonard. "Carol you said that I shouldn't talk to Leonard till I knew what to say, I know what to say now."

Carol sighed, she was actually trapped, she told Penny those words and now she had to deliver or she would lose her trust, maybe forever. "I don't know how to contact him directly but, I know his friend Gloria, she might know where he is or how to contact him."

Penny couldn't help the smile that started on her face, because after weeks of failure she now had a chance to talk to Leonard. "Will you contact her and see if she can contact him?"

Carol reluctantly nodded, "I can't promise she will know, but I will call her."

Penny's smile got wider, "Thank you, thank you so much."

Carol just nodded, she didn't really like this at all and she wasn't sure it was the best thing for Penny.