I awoke to someone punching my face.

"All right, asshole, wakey wakey!"

I felt a slap.

My eyes focused, and I found myself staring into a brown girly looking face. Male.

I had been tied to a chair in a cave, in an unknown location. I couldn't move.

"Shit," I groaned.

"Yeah," my kidnapper laughed. "You're neck deep in it."

He put his hands on his knees, glaring at me. "You know, I've been taking an inventory of all the things in life that fucking piss me off..."

"So you're an optimist," I joked.

The man slugged me in the stomach. "Before you so rudely interrupted me, I made a list, and guess who's on the very top?"

The `goddess' had chosen a pitiful vessel to attack me. My dad could hit a lot harder, so I found these threats of physical violence amusing. "You're right. I never liked their music."

He didn't get the joke. "What?"

"I'd explain, but I'd first have to tell you Who's On First."

He grabbed me by the throat. "You know what you are? A no good pile of shit! Every fucking time I try to preserve this planet from ecological disaster, there you are, fucking with my plans!"

"Who the hell are you?"

The guy backhanded me across the face. "Who the fuck do you think!"

"Uh, Leroy Jenkins?"

He hit me again. "It's Jennings, asshole! Marvin Jennings!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Melvin Jenny."

This inspired more abuse. "What is this, `Thank you sir, may I have another'?"

I tried hard not to laugh. "No."

"Are you stupid, asshole?"

I snorted, took a deep breath. "Ahem. Tell me, Mr. Jennings, where did you come from? Why is it that you live on this hell hole jungle planet? What makes a man set up a little cave next to a quarry and stock up a lifetime supply of toilet paper and Top Ramen?"

The man yelled and kicked me so hard that the chair fell over backwards and I hit my head on the rock floor. I saw stars.

"You want the straight dope, motherfucker? I built this damn planet from scratch! It's a fucking terraforming operation. Every fucking lifeform on this whole motherfucking planet is my creation!"

He stomped on my chest, which, unfortunately for me, made it difficult to avoid looking up his skirt. "Designer genetics! I designed the trees. I designed the Na'vi, the Tamtiwa. I designed the plants, the fungus, that shitty little Ikran you keep fucking with! All of it! This place used to be a lifeless rock! I put life into it! But your piddly assed corporation wants to turn this garden of Eden, this paradise, back into a dusty piece of shit worthless rock of a planet."

He kicked me in the head. "It's your fault, motherfucker! I had this situation under control! If you hadn't been fucking your girlfriend in my office building, if you hadn't been there, screwing with my Ikran's brain, getting your dirty hummers and that fucking tank back, if you hadn't gone back in time and blew my shit up, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

I was starting to hurt, but only by cumulative effect. "Wait. How do you remember all this when I'm apparently starting over from the beginning again?"

"Let's just say you still talk in your sleep. Besides, you told just about every damn body in the whole office about it."

So there was a negative consequence to being a know-it-all, I thought. "Where did you get the tools to do all this?...World building?"

"I'm from the future, dumbass. There are corporations that sponsor me. Or rather, did, before I killed them."

"Wow. I guess that explains why everything on this planet seems intent on killing me."

He knelt down on my chest. "That's the smartest thing you've ever said, Finch."

He stood up, again offering me that unsightly vantage point where I could see the color of his underwear. "Tell you what, Finch. You're a little too stupid to be doing this alone, so I'm going to let bygones be bygones if you just do one little thing for me. Just one, teensy, tiny thing."

"Their names are Sapphire and Steel. I don't know how to find them. I don't know their last names or where they came from."

"No, no, Finch. I already guessed that they were too smart to tell you that. I want something else."

I furrowed my brow, hoping he didn't mean something sexual.

Instead, he said, "I want you to call me goddess. I want you to say to me, `Mr. Jennings, I was wrong about taking over your planet with my polluting environmentally destroying office buildings. I sincerely apologize for that, and I worship you as a goddess, ruler of the universe.' Got it?"

He smiled. 'Now you."

I told him, "Mr. Jennings, I was right about polluting your planet, because you're an asshole."

He punched me in the face. He really looked pissed. "Let's try this again. Mr. Jennings..."

"I'm sorry, I was wrong about taking over the planet with polluting office buildings. I still think you're an asshole and I will never call you a god or goddess."

He punched me. "What's the deal, Finch? Like broken teeth?"

"No. It's just kind of hard to worship a god that buys Pepto Bismol and toilet paper in bulk. Having tummy problems?"

He hit me in the temple, making my head ring. "Those were for my employees."

"Sure they were!"

And he hit me again, knocking my teeth in. "There. Take that to the tooth fairy, asshole!"

"Oh, I thought that was your job. You've already look the part!"

He grabbed me around the throat and throttled me. "Let's see how you like turning blue, you son of a bitch!"

"I didn't know you were hiring," I gasped.

"The fuck! I only started choking you, and you're already brain dead? Shit , I thought you liked living."

"I've been on two planets now," I wheezed. "Both of them suck. But at least on this one, I can die with the satisfaction of telling its creator to his face that he did a shit job, and I never wanted to set foot in this hell hole in the first place."

"So you're fucked up in the head and you want to die? Is that it?"

I shrugged.

Jennings rolled me over and kicked me. "Sorry, bitch. I don't do requests!"

He stomped away.

I laid on the floor for a long time, scarcely believing what had just happened. Was the man so twisted with thoughts of revenge that he would deny himself the satisfaction of killing me just to make me miserable?

If I knew that earlier, I would have tried a similar tact a lot sooner.

Being alive was great and all, but it left me one sticky problem. I was still tied up, the ropes cutting off my circulation.

I wiggled my fingers around, trying to tug apart the knots, but they were pretty secure and out of reach. "Help? Anybody?"

Nobody answered.

My second strategy worked better than the first. Being fairly limber, I could play inchworm rather well, and the cavern was full of bumpy rocks.

It took what felt like an hour, but I eventually scraped the ropes thin enough to snap them off and stumble to my feet.

I staggered aimlessly from tunnel to tunnel, calling for help, but found nobody.

I soon tired and just sat down on a rock, puzzling over which place to go next.

About ten minutes later, a glowing creature floated out of a cave tunnel, followed by a hairy five foot goblin with a pink humanoid crocodile face, large pig ears, and a purse. It looked like a character from a Mercer Mayer book.

I was completely `tolerant' at this point, so I thought nothing of its appearance. "Hello? Can you help me?"

The creature answered with a string of guttural syllables I couldn't decipher, even with my earworm.

"Um, sir, ma'am? I...I'm lost. Can you show me to the DOGOS facility?"

"Mawrl rebruma!" it answered cheerfully.

I decided, for lack of anything better to do, to follow this thing, and see if it could lead me anywhere I wanted to go. It was more fun than working, and, you know, the kid in Karate Kid would have made friends with Mr. Miyagi a lot sooner if he were a little more open minded from the beginning, and just hung out with the thing.

Maybe these guys could teach me the way of the Force or something, I thought.

I ended up helping the creature pick some disgusting slimy fungus off the wall and put it in baskets, then sitting by an underground lake while the creature swam around and caught fish that had dangling tapeworm things coming out of their bodies.

I put the fish in the basket as well, but only after the goblin yelled at me for being squeamish.

The goblin lived in a little commune in one of the caverns. When I brought them the basket, they all got together, held hands, and sang a song, which they compelled me to join, despite me not knowing or understanding the words.

They ate their food on a big flat rock. When they offered me some of the fruit of my labors, I refused. The smell was repulsive, like mildew, rotten bagels, and the unidentifiable food and cleaning chemical smell that greets you when you step into a Salvation Army.

After this terrible food, instead of taking me back, they led me into a little cave, which appeared to be someone's dwelling, complete with dresser and table, one of the creatures (Berba Yuimmase was his name) offering me a rock shelf, which I presumed to be a bed.

Hoping they'd show me the way out tomorrow, I laid down.

Another one of the monsters came in with its glowing creature, spreading out on the rock on the other side of the room. "Gamblikka?"

I just sighed, not understanding a word.

The creature purred as he pointed at me. "Chasing bitch!"

I'd been trying to get it to say my name for almost an hour, and it hadn't worked. "No, no. You said that wrong."

"Moob hula, Chasing Bitch."

I groaned and shook my head, rolling over.

The floating creature settled on the table and stopped lighting the room.

I slept for maybe an hour, but that was kind of impressive, considering the hard surface and the cold cave.

I dreamed about being a blue guy, swimming and trying to catch fish with my bare hands. My sleepwalking actually seemed to improve, because I appeared to have remained stationary, and kept my clothes on.

"This is very cute," said a familiar voice in the dark.

"Ibira?" I groaned.

I heard a click, then a green four armed body crouched next to me with an electric lamp. "Yes, my husband. I am here."

"Now, when you say cute, do you mean cute cute, or sexy?"

She shrugged. "I like a man who isn't afraid to embrace the simple lifestyle."

I laughed. "I'm glad it pleases you. Really, I was just trying to get back to the building."

I told her about my abduction and beating and getting lost.

"That is unfortunate. But I admire your bravery."

One of my teeth had loosened. I still thought I had a chance to save it, but she wiggled it and pulled it out.

"Why did you do that for?"

"Scars are your mark as a warrior. If you gain them in battle, I see no need for you to cover them with plastic surgery or dental operations. I find them...appealing."

I decided not to disagree with her. If she could accept me all beat up and deformed, I thought, she's definitely a keeper. "Could you please show me out of this place?"

"You want to leave already? I thought this would be a terrific honeymoon location."

"The beds are rock and they eat fungus. Not really a turn on."

She smirked like she had different ideas. "Suit yourself."

Ibira led me back into the NCO building with remarkable ease. It turns out the goblin things lived adjacent to the underground church, and a couple steps from there led us into familiar cinder block hallways.

"Vuembi's dead," I told her. "I saw-"

"I know. There won't be a funeral. It's against his religion."

I sighed. "Oh."

"You're late for class," she said as we walked down a corridor. "They sent me to find you."

I sighed. "I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing anyway. I just wish I could have breakfast."

She opened a pouch on her harness, handing me something that looked like a rice cake. "Here. Eat this."

Shrugging, I did so, munching it as I followed her to class.

It was like mustard and mushroom soup, with lumpy bits that tasted like cheese or pinto beans, but I ate the whole thing.

"Better?" she asked.

I couldn't deny I did feel less hungry. "Yeah..."

"It's dried Qodmati semen."

I coughed, tried to gag the stuff back up, but it was already in my digestive system. "Oh God. Why didn't you tell me?"

She laughed. "What, and have you regurgitate it? How would that take the edge off your hunger?"

I sighed. "Uh, thanks, I guess." I paused. "Wait. How can you eat those with no ill effect, when my-"

"I'm only eating it, Jason. It's not like I'm sticking it up my cebsavah." She opened the door for me. "After you."

"You know, men are generally supposed..."

"I know. But in our relationship, you're actually the weaker sex, so just enjoy it."

I got stares when I entered the classroom.

Of course, I stared back.

They had found a replacement for Vuembi.

A short long haired black woman with glasses and a surly expression, about the same age as me. It always bothers me when I get bossed around by a peer. "I hope you have an explanation for this, Mr. Finch!"

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"My name is Shirley Buggin. And you, Mr. Finch, are presumably in this classroom, interrupting it, because you want to learn how not to get fired."

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"He's had a traumatic life event," Ibira said. "The situation got out of hand."

I smiled, showing my missing teeth.

"Couldn't you at least wait for the honeymoon?" the stranger snapped.

"I'm afraid you misunderstand," said Ibira. "That wasn't my doing. You've all seen the recordings."

The woman stared at me for a moment.

"So you know me from the murder video," I said. "Terrific."

Shirley rolled her eyes. "That, your wedding pictures...and your reputation."

"I'm really not a troublemaker. Show me how to do my job. I'll do whatever you want."

The woman sighed and shook her head. "You can start by taking a seat and shutting up."

We went through another dull lecture on computer systems and alien business policies, eventually breaking for lunch.

I ran into Victor the moment I stepped outside.

"C'mon, kid. We need to get something taken care of."

"Let me guess. I'm getting fitted with a Bazrok."

He stared. "Kid, I swear you're either psychic, or you've been lying on those job forms."

I had nothing to say about that.

"Wait," I heard Gary saying. "Grace and I need to speak to Mr. Finch privately."

I followed him back to Grace's office. They stared at me in tense silence for awhile.

At last Gary spoke. "Finch, this `psychic' business...we accepted it at first, but as of late, things are getting out of hand. What, with the deadly insects, and Vuembi's stabbing, we're beginning to suspect espionage."

"Espionage? Really?" I flashed my broken teeth. "You think I would have willingly let an enemy do this to me?"

"Finch, we don't know what to think."

"I didn't do it," I said. "There's an angry...being that runs this planet, and he's out to get me."

Grace looked skeptical. "Regardless of whether or not that is true, Mr. Finch, it is undeniable that your continued presence here puts the lives of ourselves and our employees at risk. I'm afraid we're going to have to place you in the brig."

I stared. "You have a brig?"

Gary scowled. "You know everything else, but you don't know about the brig."

They walked me down to the third level.

"Hey!" the midget called after us. "Where are you going with him?"

"I'm sorry, Victor," Gary said. "I can't have Mr. Finch putting anyone else in danger."

"Dammit, we were just about to use him on a sortie!"

"Trust me, you don't want this kind of help. It's safer for everyone involved if we just tuck him inside the brig until we return back to earth."

Victor sighed. "Guess you're probably right." He walked away, looking disappointed.

We entered the church tunnels, but instead of going straight in, Gary turned a corner, leading me to a dark, unpleasantly damp.

Throughout our march, I could have easily fought back or run away, but I couldn't deny that I put people in danger, just by being there, and I wondered what my other self would do once I went to sleep. That being said, I didn't exactly think it a good idea to not help out, since Jennings always wanted me out of the fight.

The `brig' was basically a bunch of pocket caves, alcove-like things with cell doors bolted over them. The other cells lay unoccupied.

"Vuembi's killer...did he break out of here?"

"That psychic routine isn't helping your case any, Mr. Finch."

"I'll take that as a yes. Guess that explains why I never saw him before."

Gary opened a cell, pointed inside. I grudgingly obeyed, sat on a stone cold bench as he locked up.

"Wait, are you going to feed me and let me go to the bathroom?"

"You're the psychic," Grace said. "Figure it out."

"You're wearing a diaper," Gary said.

"I'm beginning to think you have a diaper fetish."

The man shook his head and walked away. Grace followed him, leaving me alone by myself.

I noticed no one stood guard, probably because our warriors were preparing to recover the Hummer.

I wasn't alone for long. The moment they disappeared, Steel materialized in front of the bars. "After bringing humanity back from a global epidemic, I was hoping you'd watched enough movies to understand that it's a bad idea to tell people their future. As it stands, you have set off a chain of paradoxes that cannot easily be resolved."

"What was I supposed to do?" I said. "Coast through life the same exact way like nothing happened? Make the same damn mistakes?"

Steel gave me a look like this were precisely what I was supposed to do.

"I thought, since I was back in my own life, and you didn't show up, I'd been given a do-over."

"I don't do `do overs.' Presently, you do time no favors by being imprisoned."

"So, what, you going to let me out?"

Instead of answering, he vanished.

I slumped on the bench, staring despondently into the cavern.

I heard footsteps, then a four armed figure came marching up to my cell. "I'll have you out of there in no time."

With one hand holding a flashlight, my wife picked the lock with her other two hands.

"You sure this is a good idea? I mean, I'm dangerous."

"I like dangerous."

The cell came open. "C'mon. You need to be fitted with a Bazrok."

Grace and Gary must have been expecting something like this to happen.

The moment we exited the cavern, we had guns pointing at our heads.

"Hands up," said Grace.

Then, to Ibira, "All of them."

Ibira obeyed.

Grace narrowed her eyes at her. "It figures you'd be in on this...Mrs. Finch."

My wife scowled. "This is what the enemy wants. The man Jennings has been after us the whole time. He's obviously mad because of something Jason did. By taking him out of the action, you're giving him the upper hand."

Grace gave him a blank look. "Who's Jennings?"

Ibira frowned. "Never mind."

"Don't think I've forgotten about Henry, you man stealing Thark whore."

My wife snarled. "Put that gun down and I'll show you who's a whore."

"If you tie two of your arms behind your back, I'll gladly correct you, but that spy will have to be returned to his imprisonment first."

"That so-called `spy' is my husband, tixofpa molesting vawrura!"

Gary wrinkled his nose. "What's that smell?"

A purple cloud billowed out from behind Ibira's back. She'd uncapped a smoke grenade on her harness. "Sorry. I've got gas."

Soon the cloud filled the hallway, and our two foes couldn't see a thing. Of course, neither could I.

I heard thudding sounds, then I found myself being dragged down the corridor, upstairs to the medical bay.

Victor waited impatiently by the door. "Get in here, Finch."

My wife tried to follow me, but he waved her off. "I got this, `Ibs. Go meet with the team."

I gave her a nod. "I should be fine."

She looked worried. "You sure?"

"I'm psychic, remember?"

"It didn't work so well for you a few minutes ago."

"I'll be watching him," Victor urged. "I can always radio if there's a problem. Get your green butt upstairs."

She gave him a reluctant nod and marched off.

Just like before I found that Na'vi-esque creature, Nobdar, working on Rick's beer bottle injury.

"Hello, Nobdar," Victor said. "Nice of you to show up!"

"I was observing Batlas."

"Out of curiosity," I said, "What is Batlas?"

"It's a holiday," Nobdar said. "Similar to...Christmas, I believe."

"It's more like Thanksgiving," said Victor. "With maybe a little Saint Patricks day thrown in. No gifts. There's nude prayer in there somewhere. I made the mistake of showing up at his room on the wrong day." He glanced behind the curtain at Rick. "Was he partying with you?"

"That's...not really my style."

The midget giggled and made tsk noises. "Listen, my friend. We need to get this guy fitted with a Bazrok." He patted me on the back.

They debated whether or not I was Bazrok worthy.

"I don't want to risk a...seasoned employee on something like this."

"Yeah, yeah," I groaned. "I'm disposable."

Victor just nodded. "This nerd wasn't even supposed to be here. I figure we might as well throw him out there, maybe see if he's useful for something."

"Better make it count!"

And so I laid down on the rubber bed, awaiting the Bazrok. Rick stumbled out the door, all stitched up and bandaged and everything.

I wondered what time it was, but I decided I wouldn't get an answer.

"You might want to take off your clothes," Victor said. "This thing makes a mess."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I knew what I was getting into, so I stripped. Victor quickly looked away.

I laid back on the bed, relaxing as much as I was able to. The anticipation was the worst part. Once the thing was actually on my chest and face, doing its thing, it wouldn't be such a big deal.

Sal strapped my ankles in leather cuffs. At this point, such things weren't necessary, they were just kinky.

"You don't need to use those," I said. "I've seen those things before."

She strapped down my wrists. "I'm not doing this for you. Our Bazrok is a very valuable specimen." She poked my ribs. "You should eat more. You have the figure of an emaciated girl."

"Shut up!" I muttered.

She just laughed.

The blue guy put the Bazrok on my chest. I laid perfectly still and let it drop its egg down my throat.

In all honesty, there really is no time in when you can actually `get used' to nearly suffocating, but I managed.

"Gee," Sal said. "He really does act like he's done this before."

"I only detected one in his lungs," Nobdar said. "If he ingests more than one, it can cause serious medical problems."

"That's good to know," I gasped after they gave me a puff on a gas mask.

"He can breathe cyanide," Victor said. "We're done."

"Not quite," Nobdar said.

Again, I had to wait for the creature to adapt to oxygen. Since I knew what to expect, I was a little calmer this time around, so it adapted more quickly.

Once they'd finished with the operation, Victor told me I missed the whole class.

"Oh well."

"You've definitely got some balls, kid. When I first had mine done, I was hollering and screaming the whole time."

Sal undid my restraints, declaring my vitals normal.

"Good," said the blue man.

The elf smiled at me. "Well, Mr. Finch, it looks like your implant is working! We've just successfully added a Bazrok to your lungs. In case you didn't know already-"

"I know, I know. It's a symbiote, so I have to eat for two."

She nodded. "Okay, so you're familiar with it. Good. If you start craving paper or chalk, come see me right away. That's usually a sign of nutrient deficiency, which I can remedy with a few nutrient packs.

"Unless, God forbid, it's about to give birth, but I seriously doubt yours will be at that stage for a number of years."

I paled. "They give birth?"

"How else do you think we get more?"

"I wouldn't worry about it," Victor said. "We have ways of detecting that months in advance."

"Kind of like real pregnancy?"

"Yeah. Exactly like real pregnancy."

My stomach lurched. "You're not making me feel any better."

Victor only shrugged. "C'mon. Get dressed. We've got a job to do."

We went upstairs to Sprint's break room.

Seeing no sign of Grace or Gary, I got a drink of water, then stopped to talk to Harry. I would have gotten my raincoat, but I figured my prison wardens would be looking for me downstairs, so I didn't bother.

"Shortie's got you running errands outside, is he?"

"Yep."

Harry showed me the weird purple brown growth on his arm. "Got that on the Dagobah expedition."

"Is that fatal?" I asked.

"I'm not really sure. Sal has been researching a few things to try to help me. The meds she's given me have worked so far. Nobody can tell how much longer I have to live, though."

"I guess...you just got to make every minute count."

Harry patted me on the back. "Yeah. I guess that's what I got to do."

He drank from his bottle of homemade tea. "How you liking the marriage?"

"It's, uh, great."

"Good. It's kind of hard to go wrong with three sets of hands around the house."

I rolled my eyes, bidding him farewell.

The guys were outside in the field, huddled around a diagram in the dirt.

I was familiar with the plan. And how it got screwed up. "I'm going to get volunteered for that particular duty anyway," I told the guys. "So can someone tell me how to use that container without getting the shit all over me?"

There were chuckles.

"I'll give you a demo when we're done here."

"Also, I am absolutely certain that Na'vi are preparing an ambush on that very spot. What are we going to do about that?"

Victor narrowed his eyes. "Kid, you're talking out your ass. You've only been breathing the air outside for a few minutes."

Brian agreed with that assessment. "Jason has always been a little strange."

"Wait, wait," the big guy in chain mail said. "Let's not discredit the guy so soon." He narrowed his eyes at me. "What makes you think there's going to be an ambush?"

I sighed. "I just have a hunch, okay? Maybe I'm psychic. I don't know. I just think that maybe we should be a little cautious, and not barge in there with our guns blazing."

"He's probably got a good idea. Even if there isn't anybody there, the Hummer is a big target. Especially with all those Ikran flying about."

Victor and Steve stared at each other.

"He has been saying weird things," Victor said. "A lot of people think he acts like he's worked here before, when he couldn't have possibly known anything about the company."

"All right," Steve said. "We'll work around the perimeter first. Shoot any Na'vi we sight, then drop the pheromone."

"Ready?" Snaker said.

"Let's do this thing," said Sam.

Snaker ran around to the corner of the building.

"Ikran juice," I guessed.

"Exactly."

Everyone loaded up on weaponry, and I got the cleaning supplies and the silver ball. The team checked their cel phones for hostile life forms and GPS navigation.

Victor demonstrated how to unlock the sphere, showing me which side it could be safely thrown from. "If you drop it, or even jostle it a little, you're going to have Ikran juice all over you."

"Got it. I don't want to go through that again."

He frowned and shook his head. "Again? You're nuts!"

We wandered through the jungle of squirming unearthly plants.

"How's it going, Mr. Finch?" Brian asked me. "Feeling strong?"

"Oh yeah. I'm feeling real strong. Do me a favor and don't play golf around Hell's Gate. It might be bad for your health."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"There's some big alien mushrooms. If you ever go near one, it'll kill you."

He laughed. "Thanks for the safety tip. I'll keep my eyes peeled."

We passed through a field of Viagra lollipops (as good a name as any for those alien plants). The jokes got stale the second time I heard them.

"Quiet!" the IT guy hissed, pointing to the Hummer, all covered in leather winged reptiles.

"So you say there's Na'vi hiding around here somewhere?" Victor whispered.

I nodded. "Hundred percent positive."

The small guy pointed to Snake, then to Sam. "Go around. Check the terrain for blue pygmies. Shoot on sight."

"Copy," Snake said.

"Roger," Sam answered.

The two split up, darting into the woods.

I heard guns firing, loud shrieks, and shouting. Through the foliage, I could see the yellow bursts of gunfire, the blue bodies spraying orange blood, the flying spears and arrows.

The jungle erupted with a mass of flapping leathery wings, heavy bodies and claws that knocked me backwards into trees, shredded my clothing, and bumped the container of pheromone open, splashing it all over me.

A horny male Ikran tried to ram me with his erection, but then another one squawked, beat the first one to the ground, and snatched me up in its claws.

I screamed as the sex crazed Ikran carried me into the air, past the impossibly high jungle canopy, and into the sky beyond.