Author's comment:

Once more, don't start the montage music yet. Or, if you must, play your second-favorite song. Mine is "Macho Man" by The Village People; also the unofficial theme song of my favorite wrestler.

A small thanks to The Immortal Doctor Reid for pointing out a moment that I missed, and spinning me a scenario that I honestly didn't think of until I spoke with him. And only while typing this author's note did I finally figure out how it would resolve.

Also thanks to DARKPHANTOM13, not for giving me an idea, but for affirming that yes, the idea I had was a good one. Second opinions are a valuable commodity, if you ask me.


Chapter 55: A Man's Got to Learn to Take It

The sun was setting on the horizon when Miya announced that dinner was ready.

"Thank you for washing the back wall," Miya said as the residents of the Inn kneeled around the table. "It's been too long since it's been anything but moss-green."

"No problem, Miya," Kazehana waved a friendly, dismissive hand.

"Oh?" The landlady grew a sly smile on her face. "Then I suppose you wouldn't mind watering the garden tomorrow, and spreading new mulch on the flower beds, and I know trimming the hedge shouldn't take long-"

"It was just an expression!" Kazehana said, slightly panicked. "Geez…"

Miya chuckled. "I'm well aware, Kazehana. I didn't think you were so gullible."

Now Kazehana smiled, despite herself. "Rub it in, why don't you?"

Nearby, Musubi took a piece of sushi between her chopsticks. "Okay!" she answered, and began sliding it all around the tray of coffee-colored soy sauce. "Open wide, Minato!"

"Uh, Musubi? It's okay. You don't have to grmph!"

He hadn't even gotten to his chicken and yet Musubi seemed intent on choking him, well-meaning as her intentions were.

Nearby, another pair of chopsticks quickly snapped between two jealous fingers. Tsukiumi glared at her husband from across the table, unjustly denied the right to sit by him due to Musubi's prowess at shopping races. Minato met her look with one complete and detached contempt, almost daring her to make a scene. Tsukiumi's expression quickly dimmed from "fury" to "simmering annoyance" and she continued to eat her food in silence.

A potential eruption quelled, Minto swallowed the food but kept his mouth firmly shut as Musubi tried to shovel more food in.

"Seriously, Musubi, I appreciate it-" He clamped his lips shut as Kusano tried to one-up Musubi's gesture with a forkful of her own. "But I can feed myself!"

"Say, Miya," Matsu asked, "any idea what the next match will be?"

"Now why would I know anything?" Miya asked jokingly. "I'm just a landlady with a beautiful little inn to run!"

"Oh, ha ha," Matsu "Come on, Miya, I know you're really-"

The hanya mask flared up in an instant, nearly causing those tenants who were chewing to choke on their food.

"Yes? What am I, Matsu?" Miya asked, in that dangerous yet unnervingly sweet tone.

The Wisdom Sekirei swallowed, though her mouth was empty. "I was just going to say that Takehito was a researcher at MBI, so you might know more than us."

"Thou art the one who breaketh into MBI's files," Tsukiumi pointed out, "for nary a reason than the sun rising that day. Wouldst thou not know already?"

"Minaka doesn't keep those files on any server I could reach," Matsu replied, taking a sip of sake. "And I'm pretty sure it's specifically to hide it from the two of us."

"'Us'?" Tsukiumi repeated. "There is another like thee?"

"Kochou, No. 22."

"Ah yes, Higa's. Thou madest mention of her whilest slaving away at Ten's profile."

It was then that Minato was tempted to spill the bad news, but held off. Homura thought the same; no sense in ruining the half-decent mood. Though, speaking of shooting the messenger-

"Where's Kagedansu?" asked The Fire Sekirei. "I thought he'd be here."

"Oh, I believe he's on the roof," Miya said.

Everyone swiveled their heads to stare at her.

"On… the roof," Matsu repeated.

"Yes," Miya said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. "He took a plate of dinner before you all came in, and went outside to watch the stars."

"So why hasn't he come back for seconds?" Ku asked.

"I'll bet he broke his plate!" Musubi suggested.

"I'll go take a look," Homura said, smiling humorously. "The last thing we need is him falling off the side and squashing the flower arrangement."

"Indeed," Miya chuckled.

Shifting back and standing up, Homura popped one last piece of shrimp in his mouth before heading out.

Sure enough, one step out the door and one leap up to the roof later, Homura found the large Sekirei lying on the peak of the slanted wood: hands behind his head, eyes glazed over and slowly rolling around inside their eye sockets, scanning the sky.

"Kagedansu?" he asked. No response.

Homura climbed up and nudged him with his knuckle. This brought Kagedansu out of his stupor.

"Can I help you?" he asked half-jovially.

"Just making sure you were still with us," Homura replied. "What are you doing up here, anyway?"

"I was just thinking about how vast the universe is and how we can only ever hope to see the tiniest fraction of it at a time," Kagedansu said, catching Homura completely off-guard (and mouth agape).

"That and how the night sky looks like a giant dome," he said, wiping his hands across the air above him, like he was opening a set of curtains.

Homura turned his gaze towards the sky, his eyes scanning the stars and constellations they formed. "Actually, it kind of does. I never noticed that before."

"Just a giant dome," Kagedansu said, spreading his hands again.

This new sensation of seeing the night sky in a whole new way, Homura kept sampling it. Now he was mirroring what he'd seen Kagedansu doing, his gaze sweeping across the night sky and rounding out the invisible-

"Dome."

"I get it, Kagedansu."

"Well, I don't," he continued. "Is it a dome because the limit of perception of light is equidistant no matter which direction in the sky we look, thus forming the illusion of a spherical dome..."

Homura blinked, then blinked again and rubbed his eyes, staring at the other Sekirei.

"Or because the Earth is a giant ball so naturally the stuff around it would look like a giant half-ball?"

Ah, there it was. For a second, The Fire Sekirei was worried Hametsu had gotten inside Kagedansu's head again.

"My guess is the first one," Homura concluded, still a little in shock. Between the fights and the music, he didn't think Kagedanusu's brain had room for words like "equidistant".

"Probably," Sixty-Seven agreed. "But I think the second one's more fun."

"I think you mean 'more childish'."

Kagedansu frowned. "In what way?"

"It's how a child would see it: simple, relatable, easy to understand," Homura said. "No offense."

Kagedansu unwound. "Eh, none taken. Now…" He sat up and stretched his arms, looking around the roof. "Where'd I leave that dish?"

He rolled over, and nearly slid off if not for his gender-fluxed companion shooting out a hand to catch his gi.

"Oh yeah," said the Shadow Sekirei, spying his dinner below. "I left it on the front gate."

Homura released him and followed him down to the ground. "Why there?"

"Because I couldn't think of another place to balance it."

Number Six eyed the plate of food, precariously wobbling on the spherical ornament that sat atop the gate post.

He then looked back at Kagedansu, as the latter retrieved his food. "But why though?"

"I think one of the poppy seeds just moved." Kagedansu squinted at his plate, taking one of the seeds on a sushi roll between his fingertips and squeezing it. "Nope, just my imagination."

From the inn, the two heard Musubi call, "But Minato, the bathroom's that way!"

Sure enough, the former ronin came bounding out of the hallway on to the front step. "Homura, I-"

He stopped as he saw that the Shadow Sekirei was also there, inspecting a (different) poppy seed on the sushi spread he carried.

"Uh, Kagedansu? What are you doing?"

"I will figure out which one of these is alive," replied the Sekirei, not taking his eyes off the black spec between his fingertips.

"… Alright," Minato said, readdressing his sixth and final Sekirei. "I need to talk to you."

Homura shifted uncomfortably, folding his arms. "About what?"

"About Kazehana and-"

"Shush!"

In a flash, the erstwhile distracted Shadow Sekirei had his large hand over Minato's mouth. He leaned in close to Minato's ear. The ronin could feel the Sekirei's breath on the lobe, that's how short the distance was from mouth to ear.

"The walls have ears, Minato. Talk about this somewhere else."

The ronin suddenly found himself hoisted over Kagedansu's shoulder, Sixty-Seven's dinner plate balanced on his other hand like a waiter.

"Wait, what are we WAAH!"

The ground was suddenly growing farther and farther away, Minato almost wanting to reject his delicious supper at seeing the distance. Hand over his mouth to save some unfortunate streetwalker below him, Minato turned his gaze horizontal and found Homura following close behind.

"Where are you taking him?" Homura called.

"Some place where you guys can talk," Kagedansu called back. "About those two."

And indeed, he led them a fair way's away, south towards the MBI tower along the rooftops of Tokyo, the lights casting a yellow glow beneath their forms to contrast the softer white light of the moon. Minato had little else to look at, since the constant up-and-down motion of the scenery made his human brain fully aware of the distances he was soaring, and so fixated upon Homura's black-clad form. The Fire Sekirei hadn't brought his mask, there being little need for it at a dinner table, but his black battle-attire complimenting his silver hair made him look almost like a vampire, with how well it blended into the night sky.

Homura, meanwhile, continued to stare at his Ashikabi, flopped over the shoulder of another Sekirei, unnervingly keeping his gaze locked with Minato's. If not for the precision with which he touched down, flipped and tumbled along each new platform, be it a roof, a ledge, the walkway of a billboard, or even the top of a monorail station.

Until, at long last, the trio arrived at a little rooftop greenhouse atop an apartment complex. The door was unlocked (surprise, surprise; who would scale a 7-story building to break in from the roof?) and so the three made their way inside, unmolested.

"Why'd you bring us here?" Minato demanded.

"I told you: so you could talk about those two," he replied.

"What, Kazehana and Tsukiumi?" replied the Ashikabi, still a little upset at his own apparent abduction. "How do know I wasn't going to talk about something else: Kazehana and Musubi, Kazehana and Matsu, Kazehana and her drinking problem!"

"Well, if you were, now you got a more scenic place to do it."

Minato uttered a frustrated grumble: he'd quickly realized he could take this argument anywhere and he'd still somehow lose it. Whether it was here or back at the Inn, the song and dance remained the same.

"Uhm, Kagedansu?" he asked. "You can put me down now."

"Are you sure? There's still time if you wanna throw up on me."

"No, no," Minato assured his carrier. "I'll be alright."

"And I'll be holding you to that," said Kagedansu, as he un-slung Minato and deposited the Ashikabi on his feet. The Sekirei then made his way back to the clear glass door.

"Where are you going?" Homura demanded, a tone which rather surprised his Ashikabi.

"To keep watch," said Kagedansu.

Something clicked in Homura's brain. "I see. Yeah, probably a good idea."

"What is- Why?" Minato was still lost.

"Because as soon as the others realize we're not at the Inn anymore," Homura elaborated, "Tsukiumi will grab Matsu and throttle her into finding us."

"Zigackly!" Kagedansu exclaimed, though what language it was, neither Homura nor Minato had a clue.

"… Aaaanywaaaay…" Minato began, turning his attention back to his present Sekirei.

"Tsukiumi and Kazehana. You're still mad at them?"

"N-no!" Minato stammered, waving his hands. "Well, yeah, kind of… Sigh…"

The ronin clutched his head and rolled his thumbs against his temples as he continued. "I don't wanna stay mad at them. I wanna forgive them, and drop this whole thing, just let it go, but every time I'm about to, I keep thinking that if I do, then they'll never take me seriously again."

Homura nodded. "I can understand that. You might be wrong, though: Kazehana hates seeing people upset. In fact, Tsukiumi's the only exception I can think of, and that's probably from Tsukiumi herself being easily set off."

"Even so, I keep imagining Kazehana and Tsukiumi fighting again, then me telling them to stop, and then Kazehana throws herself on me and starts… Erm…"

Minato didn't have to finish it. Homura could see it now, making his stomach turn a little: Number 3 rubbing her cheek against Minato's, saying how sorry she was and purring like a cat because she knows Minato won't resist it for long. Then Tsukiumi jumps to his other side and gets mad at Kazehana, they start their bickering again, and the whole thing circles right back to where it started. Only this time, Future Minato already blew his "Angry" card, and now there's no way to intervene short of calling in another Sekirei to split them up.

Homura sighed. The way they carried themselves, one would think they were the most adult of Minato's flock. Yet they fought over him like children.

"I would say, 'Let them off gently'," Homura said finally. "Talk to them, make it clear you're still upset, but slowly unwind. End it on your terms, so they know that if it happens again, they can't just seduce you into forgiving them."

"Okay." Already a plan of attack was forming in Minato's brain: he'd read them the riot act, as quietly angered as he could, maybe make it look like he was about to snap if one of them happened to interrupt him. He'd repeat to them the stuff he said earlier, about how he'll put up with their bickering (after all, he did sort of enjoy being fought over), but that violence was a big no-no, regardless of which inn they were staying at or how scary their landlady happened to be. They might try to pull that, "But we'll have to fight for you eventually," and that would be his cue to unload his secret weapon, one that he wished he'd thought of when he'd spoken to them last but was glad he hadn't wasted it (by this point, he was murmuring out-loud to himself; Homura planned to stop him when he made a wrong turn).

Then Minato would tell them he forgave them, then give them each a kiss to prove it, and that would be that.

Minato looked back up at Homura. "But how do I stop them from fighting again?" he asked.

Homura's gaze had left his Ashikabi. Eye contact now broken, Minato's male eyes darted down to Homura's chest, still filled-out and feminine in contrast to his asexual demeanor. Just as quick, he was looking past Homura at the plants lining the glass walls. It was ironic, Homura's apparent lack of libido, given his previous occupation. Or, perhaps because of it.

"I… I couldn't say," the Sekirei told him.

"Well, you've been with lots of girls, right? At the club? How did you keep them from fighting over you?"

"The girls I was with were never Sekirei. We're possessive by nature, Minato," said Homura.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Kagedansu's voice interjected. "Like, right now?"

"Why right now?"

"Because the Girls of the Hounds of Baskerville are here," he replied, jerking a thumb behind him at the silhouettes approaching via the rooftops. His English was hampered by the speed with which he rattled off the syllables, but Minato grasped the message, and quickly leaned in close while Kagedansu whispered his plan.

"I don't know if I have-"

"Then find one!" Kagedansu whispered harshly. "Unless you get a better idea before they-"

A gust of wind swept through the greenhouse

"Oooh, Mina-kuuun~!"

"MINATO!"

"See, guys?" Musubi's mezzo-soprano voice brought up the rear as she nudged her way to the front of the cram. "He's fine, just like Matsu said!"

"Good to see you, too, Musubi," Minato said. He could practically hear the smack! that Tsukiumi and Kazehana felt from being ignored.

And ignore them he did, because no way would he try this plan without Miya around.

The Ashikabi turned back to Homura. "Thanks for listening," he said. Homura, rather than respond, turned his attention to Kagedansu.

The Shadow Sekirei stood there for a moment, the gazes of the females shifting to look at him, too. What was this all about?

"You're sure you're okay," Homura said to him.

"Yup."

"You feel fine?"

"I feel so great, I could burst into song!" Kagedansu's response echoed against the glass, throwing his arms wide and spinning about on the ball of his foot.

"Refrain," Tsukiumi said, already irritated. "I'm of a mind to return home."

"Hey, Musubi, can you give me a lift back?" Minato asked his second Sekirei. The brunette practically snatched up his hand and flew out the door, her Ashikabi wailing in unbalanced terror as he was dragged through the air.

"I'll do my best, Minato!"

"Musubii-ii!"

Their Ashikabi rapidly growing smaller, Kazehana and Tsukiumi took to the ledge and leapt off after them. It was at that point that the two remaining men noticed Kusano among the plants, having remained quiet throughout the whole thing.

"Ku?" Homura asked, walking up to her and squatting down. "When did you get here?"

"Ku was here the whole time," she murmured, her head lowering.

"Why? What's wrong?"

She sniffled. "It's Big Brother…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minato was quick to ascend to his room at the top of the stairs. He didn't run, because then Musubi might see him and let it slip to those two; they might realize he was playing them, or at least get suspicious. He decided to make them wait a little longer. Mean time, he slipped out of his normal shirt and put on his ad-hoc pajama top (another, slightly-more-immaculate shirt).

And after a short period, while he was pulling the socks off of his feet, groaning as he managed to tear one when it snagged on his heel, he heard a knock at the door. Putting his "I'm still upset" face back on, he stood up, strode over to the door, and slid it open to find no one there.

"B… Big Brother?"

Oh no.

He quickly dropped the act, but it was too late, Ku was already starting to sob a little as she stood there in her pajamas, rubbing her reddened, tear-filled eye with her hand.

"Ku! I didn't- If I'd-" He grumble-coughed to clear the itch in his throat. "Shouldn't you be going to bed?"

"How can Ku go to bed while Big Brother hates Tsukiumi and Kaze-san!" the girl squeaked, catching Minato completely off-guard.

"Wh- What?!"

Ku's cute little face scrunched up even further. "Big Brother hasn't said a single nice thing to them all day. Ku asked Kagari and Kagari said you didn't hate any of us. But then Ku asked Kagedansu and he said, 'Talk to Big Brother'."

Gee, a lot of help you were! There he went to pour his doubts out to him and what did the big lug do? Hang him out to dry like a load of wet laundry!

"Then Ku asked Tsukiumi and Kaze-san, and they said Ku should talk to Big Brother."

Somehow, that surprised him less.

"Why is everyone not telling me?!" Kusano wailed, sliding her small arms around her sibling's neck when he knelt down and gave her a hug. "People always tell Ku things unless they're really really serious, because they think Ku is too little to listen!"

Minato could feel the moisture spreading across the shoulder of his shirt.

"I know I'm little, and I don't always know what's going on when the grown-ups are talking…"

The Green Girl backed up, thumped a hand across her chest, and cried,

"But if Big Brother hates Ku, then I'll listen! I'm big enough for that, because Ku is Big Brother's Sekirei and she'll love him no matter what!"

Her lip was quivering now.

"Even if Big Brother hates me."

It was almost funny, if it didn't tug at his heartstrings to know Ku had genuinely convinced herself of all this.

"I don't hate any of you, Ku," Minato told her, "I'm just mad at Tsukiu… At your big sisters."

"But can't Big Brother stop being mad at them?" she sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm afraid I do, they won't take me seriously again."

"Ku will take you seriously, Big Brother!" she declared, hugging him close. "Big Brother means the whole world and the moon and all the stars to Ku!"

"No, it-" He sighed. Wet laundry. "It's not like that. Tsukiumi and Kazehana almost got in a fight today, over something as stupid as a kiss."

"Don't call them that!" Kusano squeaked, pulling away and clenching her fists by her hips. "Kisses are everyone's way of showing how much they love someone!"

"I know, I know!" Minato motioned for her to calm down, which she visibly did. "It's just that if I hadn't gotten so angry at them, they wouldn't have stopped. And the next time it happens, they might not stop. I just don't know when to forgive them, that's all."

"Please forgive them!" Ku pleaded. "We hate it when you get mad. So if you get mad at them for it, then they won't do it again!"

"Does Miya getting mad at them stop them from breaking her rules?" Minato countered.

Kusano looked away. "Nnnno…?"

"That's the trouble. If a scary landlady can't stop them, what chance do I have?"

Ku thought for a moment, and her previous mournfulness returned. "But… But why does Big Brother have to be mad at all?"

"You just answered that, Ku," Homura said, appearing beside her and ruffling her hair with his hand.

"Ku did?"

"Yeah," The Fire Sekirei assured her. "You said, 'If Minato gets mad at them for it, then they won't do it again'."

"But why can't he just ask them? Landlady-sama asks them to do things all the time, and they listen."

"We get mad to show we don't like something," Homura said. "It's different than just asking someone. If you ask someone, they'll listen, but they might forget, because all they remember is you not wanting them to do it. You don't know if they'd get mad, or forgive you, or what. But when you or anyone else gets mad, they remember that you don't want them to do something and that you'll be angry with them if they do."

"But Ku hates it when people get mad at her…" Ku bemoaned.

"And you don't like that feeling, do you, Ku?"

"No…" The Green Girl shook her head.

"So, you remember that feeling when you're about to make someone mad, and not wanting to feel that way stops you from provoking them. Minato's just making sure Tsukiumi and Kazehana don't forget how angry he gets when they fight."

Minato nodded in agreement, and finally The Green Girl's mind was at peace.

"Like how they forget our landlady's rules a lot…" Homura grumbled, though he seemed to direct his grumbling towards the bottom of the stairs, heading down himself.

He was replaced by the form of Kagedansu, leaning inside Minato's doorframe.

"Translation: the sharks are circling below," he muttered. "And I'm pretty sure they heard all of that."

Minato's face slapped into his palm, as all his efforts blew away in the hallway draft.

The Shadow Sekirei shrugged. "Oh well, what can you do but try to get a good night's sleep?"

He pushed an elbow against the frame and tipped himself upright.

"Because after breakfast tomorrow…"

The large man thrust a finger at Minato, and upon giving him the single most carnivorously terrifying look that Minato had ever seen on his face, growled, "You're mine, buddy."

For a moment, Minato honestly thought Kagedansu was about to eat him.

Then the Shadow Sekirei brightened up, wave a hand and said, "So, nighty-night!"

There was silence as Kagedansu walked down the hall, entering and shutting the door to… Uzume's room? And then,

"Does Kagedansu hate Big Brother now?"

"No, I think he's just excited," Minato said, chuckling uneasily. "Though like I'm gonna get any sleep now."

"Ku will stay with you!" The Green Girl was already one step into Minato's room.

"Sorry, Ku. But remember the rules: Big Brother has to sleep alone."

"But we sleep with you all the time!" Ku protested. "Pleeease? Ku promises she'll never ask to sleep next to Big Brother again!"

Minato shook his head. "Trust me, you don't want to make that promise, Ku. Not if you want to be my wife someday."

"Why?"

Minato almost swallowed his tongue. "Erm… Never mind. Get into bed now, okay?"

"Hrmph…" Ku pouted, stomping her way down the hall. "You'd tell me if I was older…"

A reminder that maybe not today (obviously), maybe not tomorrow, but someday, someone was going to have to give her "the talk". And between Musubi's ignorance, Matsu's perversion, Kazehana's inherent bias on the subject, Miya's almost fascist attitude on the matter, Tsukiumi's uptight attitude towards it, and Homura's anatomical dilemma, that responsibility might just fall on himself. Oh joy.

Minato cast his voice to the bottom of the stairs. "Alright, you two. I know you're down there, so come on up," he called.

"Geez, Mina-kun, no need to sound so much like a parent," Kazehana said, stretching her arms above her head as she climbed the stairs, Tsukiumi three steps in front of her.

"Oh. Sorry," the former ronin offered.

"Wilt thou stop being so uncertain?!" Tsukiumi barked, her black nightgown once again offering the tiniest see-through glimpse at the gorgeous female form beneath. "From thy talk, thou hast had more than enough of that today!"

Minato blinked and brought his attention back to Tsukiumi's face. It was late, and he was getting tired. But there was one thing he had left to do.

"Fine," he huffed wearily. "I'm kind of sick of talking about it anyway."

"Then let us drop the matter," Tsukiumi said.

"I can't," Minato said, alarming both his Sekirei.

"… Why not?" Kazehana dared to ask. Tired men, in her experience, were seldom in their best mood. The sane ones, anyway.

"First," Minato said, raising his hand to motion to them, but then he stopped. His two self-proclaimed wives shot each other a worried, slightly perplexed look as their husband began rummaging around in his jeans' right pocket. Finally finding what he was looking for, Minato proceeded to pull out a single 50 yen coin. He glanced at one side, then at Kazehana, then the other, then at Tsukiumi, finally sending it spinning through the air with a flick of his thumb. He snatched it as it nearly spun away, his aim off from lack of practice, then opened his hand to reveal hyo, the front side. Giving Tsukiumi one more glance, he put the coin away and faced Kazehana.

"Minato?" she asked as he grasped her shoulders. He slowly, nervously, began leaning in while Tsukiumi looked on, her expression gradually becoming more infuriated.

And it finished its transformation when Kazehana caught on and clamped her hands around Minato's head, pulling him into a fiery kiss. The Water Sekirei could see her rival's tongue pressing on the side of Minato, her husband's, mouth, and the equally abhorring sight of Kazehana raising her leg to caress Minato's outer thigh. Just to pour salt on the wound, she saw no attempt to resist when Kazehana grasped Minato's hand and forced it onto her breast, churning it all around

Tsukiumi almost choked on her own rage. She had a mind to wash clean this filthy display, when it finally ceased.

"Mmmhh," The Wind Sekirei moaned. "Better be careful, Minato. A girl could get drunk off of that."

"Well, it is cheaper than alcohol," Minato joked.

"'Less expensive', you mean," cooed Kazehana, stepping in and hooking a hand around his head, stroking his black hair. "There's nothing cheap about you, Mina-kun."

"Minato! Explain thyself at once!"

Minato had to wonder why exactly he'd decided to do this: to see how far they could go before Tsukiumi blew up. Because her serpent's nest of blonde hair and the shadow cast over her eyes made her out like a gorgon, ready to tear him to shreds.

"The-" Words failed him and his brain almost retreated down its own stem to hide in his upper back.

"For thou to be so… So… Brazen in front of thy own wife, and of all people with this strumpet"

"What did you just call me?" Kazehana asked, a small hint of cold entering her voice-like-melted-chocolate. Despite that, she still had a tiny little smile hiding at the corner of her mouth.

"Thy manhood shall sit impaled on a pike, as a warning to would-be adulterers!"

Dear Buddha, what monster of myth had Minato just unleashed?

"I'm sorry, Tsukiumi!" He clapped his hands together and dropped to his knees. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry!"

"Tis too late for groveling, worm," The Water Sekirei declared, crystal-blue liquid materializing around her hand, forming not a blade but an axe. It was here that Kazehana wondered if she should intervene after all.

"W-wait!" Minato threw his hands between him and his executioner, like that would somehow save him. "Don't I get to say my last piece?"

"Speak, then," Tsukiumi spat, raising the axe high, "that I may mark thy grave with something, at least."

"Hookay…" he breathed, climbing to his feet. Despite being taller than the blonde, she made sure to keep her weapon poised above him.

"The toss was to see who I kiss first," he replied calmly, gently framing Tsukiumi's face between his palms. Her sword dissolved into a puddle on the floor as he lowered his lips to hers. Her shimmering blue wings gently unfolded from her back and the Water Sekirei felt her husband's warmth flow from his lips to her core, and then to the rest of her body. Unlike Kazehana, Tsukiumi didn't request her husband's hand on her bosom, nor did Minato attempt to, instead reaching around her back to hug her to him.

From her position, Kazehana saw a slightly deeper blush appear on Tsukiumi's cheeks, and immediately started scanning the duo's silhouettes for signs of the cause.

"Consider it dropped," Minato said. "And you two should probably get used to seeing me kissing the other. It's going to happen a lot."

Tsukiumi's eyes narrowed. "And why is that?" she hissed.

"Because I don't care what Minaka has in store," he said, looping his lanky arms around their shoulders and pulling them both close. "I'm keeping all of you, now and forever."

"Hmph," Tsukiumi huffed, a warm, good-humored sound. "That is the Sekirei's line. I've bound myself to a delusional madman."

"And it looks like I got stuck with a hopeless optimist," Kazehana purred, hugging her hubby tight.

"Is… That a bad thing?" Minato asked.

"No," came the dual responses.

He closed his eyes and laughed. "You guys are impossible sometimes, you know that?"

The Water Sekirei separated, only to grasp Minato's collar and kiss him again.

"Wouldst thou love us so, if we weren't?" Tsukiumi countered, leaving on that to retreat to her solitary room.

Kazehana watched her go, hand on her hip. "Took the words right out of my mouth, Tsukiumi," she murmured.

She then turned a slightly seductive eye to her husband.

"By the way…"

The Sekirei pressed herself against Minato's body, her well-developed breasts simultaneously pushing him back and inviting him to come closer. She placed her jaw on his shoulder, turned her mouth towards his ear, and whispered,

"Just because I'm a breast girl doesn't mean I don't like your hands going…"

A soft hand took his own, and guided it down to her posterior.

"Other places…"

Minato was fighting to keep his blood flow in check. This close, Kazehana would notice immediately. Yet, the low, contralto moan she let slip when he squeezed her buttock was almost too enticing to resist. Her dress was so thin and form-fitting that it might as well have been absent; he could feel every inch of soft femininity, just as plush and welcoming as the rest of her.

Her hand left his, and locked with her other behind his back. Her eyelids began to close as she lifted her head from his shoulder and gently dragged the tips of her lips across his cheek, slowly but surely approaching his mouth.

Minato maneuvered around her attempt to kiss him, his head going left, then right, checking both ends of the hall and listening for any jealous sounds. When he returned to facing her, she once again made a move on his mouth, but once again he avoided it.

Worried tainted her eyes. "Something wrong, Minato? Mph!"

Next thing she knew he was crushing her to him: lips, breasts, stomach, legs, everything.

As the intensity of her wings wound down, Kazehana's head lurched back and an orgasmic breath burst from her mouth. What an answer!

She rolled her eyes down from looking at the ceiling.

"You're such a tease, Mina-kun," she said quietly, smiling.

"Like you're one to talk," he shot back.

"I should be. I'm the expert, after all."

She squeaked a little as he gave her butt another rough squeeze. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me," he inquired, "being around you guys without you egging me on?"

"Well," Kazehana murmured lustily, sliding a hand over the groin of his pants, "I know how hard this is…"

And then, out of nowhere, a wild bear appeared.

After nearly scaring the skin off of the two, they realized that no, it was Musubi, looking as oblivious as ever to the monster she'd conjured.

"Hey, Minato?" she said, tilting her head.

As soon as he opened his mouth to answer, Musubi's head pushed forward and caught him right on the lips, her pink wings, similar and yet slightly more curved than Kazehana, lit the hallway.

"Good night!" said the fist-type, before opening the door to her room and turning around. "You coming, Kazehana?"

"In a second," she replied. Minato found his lips ambuscaded yet again, this time from the wind-user.

"Good night, Mina-kun." She then disentangled herself from him, and practically leapt through door, such was her hurry. Musubi was already fast asleep, from the sound of her gentle breaths, and that left Kazehana the sole occupant.

She tore off her purple dress. Her hands flew to herself, fondling and stroking furiously while she writhed on her bedspread. Minato's translucent specter hovered around her: it was he who was touching her this way, prodding and stroking and teasing as she silently begged him to have her for the night, to take her body and ravage it until she was drowning in her own juices.

Kazehana clenched her lips together as her loins sent tremors through the rest of her body. She flopped back on her bedspread, passing out in pure, erotic bliss.

You don't know hard it is for me, either, Mina-kun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minato awoke with a massive pressure on his chest.

At first, he thought a pair of his Sekirei had slept on top of him rather than next to him, but counting the number of well-developed busts pressing against him (plus Ku's tiny hands clutching his stomach), everyone was accounted for.

Opening his eyes and tilting his head up, he found his bed had a most startling seventh occupant.

It was Kagedansu: loose-fitting silver pajamas spilling on to the mounds of nubile flesh that lay beneath him, for he looked like a saddlebag tossed over the back of a rugged stallion, lying perpendicular to everyone else and using his own hands as a bulwark between his head and the hard wooden floor.

"Kage… Heavy… Crushing me…" Minato wheezed but The Shadow Sekirei was still light-eons away from this reality.

The Ashikabi tried to wriggle his way out from under the pile but this only caused the other five occupants to climb higher on his body, keeping him firmly trapped in this tomb of flesh and jammies.

"Help…"

He then looked up towards the window to see the sun's rays barely peeking over the horizon. Groaning in dismay, he continued to wrestle against his captors, struggling to at least get a limb out so he could nudge one of them awake.

That didn't work, so he started nudging the woman on his right arm, Matsu, with his elbow. At least, as much as he could, since mobility was almost non-existent in this position.

"Mmh, keep touching me, Mina-tan…"

She had his arm trapped between her boobs. That cloth he felt against his tricep must've been her pink nightie.

Sighing to himself, he laid his head back on his pillow, only now realizing that Kazehana had once again usurped its position beneath him. He felt her naked body shimmy around him a little, until she had him hugged up to his nose in womanly softness. Nothing to do now, except wait for the inevitable…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

WHACK!

And there it was.

Minato's brain was jostled awake, and he was finally unearthed from the mound of women that near buried him alive.

"Get thee hence!" Tsukiumi barked, as Kagedansu's still-slumbering form rolled off the pile, resting against the landlady's feet. "What art thou doing here?"

"I could be asking you the same, Tsukiumi," Miya said, her hanya mask appearing. "So let's hear it."

"I, er-hmm…" Tsukiumi cleared her throat. "I do not care to be apart from my husband, Landlady-san."

"A sentiment I share," Miya assured her, the hanya wavering before reasserting itself. "But nevertheless, this is my Inn, and those who break the rules will be punished."

She turned her attention to the surprise rule-breaker.

"So why on Earth were you sleeping with Minato-san?" she asked, before a slightly teasing note entered her voice. "Is there something you'd like to share with us?"

Kagedansu looked up at her, stretching his arms. "Came across these guys all piled on while up for a glass of water. Door was open, saw everyone inside, thought it was kind of strange that they'd all get up just to go to bed somewhere else entirely."

"Indeed it was," Miya chuckled, whilest glaring at the lot of them while they cowered in fear, Kusano and Musubi notwithstanding.

"I mean," Kagedansu continued, shrugging his large shoulders, "I didn't think it was a rite of passage, certainly didn't look like one, buuut on the off-chance it was…"

And on that note, Miya decided, it was time for more smackings.

"What the hell was that for, Miya?" Kazehana demanded.

Miya leveled her hanya at her and the rest of Minato's flock.

"It would seem that I need to be stricter, as your bad habits are spreading to the rest of my tenants." Miya thrust her spoon at them. "There will be no breakfast for any of you. Be on your best behavior, and I may consider making your dinner tonight."

The furious landlady felt a tug on her kimono, and found Ku at the bottom of it, rubbing one eye with her hand.

"But you said Ku needed to keep growing, Miya," the little girl reminded her innocently.

"That you do," replied the landlady with a smile, leaning down and patting her on the head. "You haven't broken my rules, Kusano, so just for you, I'll make breakfast."

"Yaaay!"

Musubi let out a long whine. "Aaaw, no fair…"

"Everyone loses to crying kids…" Matsu groaned.

"Welp, nothing stopping us now," Kagedansu proclaimed, grabbing his student by the collar. "C'mon, Minato, let's hit the salt mine!"

"Wait a minute, I haven't changed or brushed my teeth or put on deodorant!" Minato protested. "Or ANYTHING!"

"Bah!" The Shadow Sekirei dropped him. "Fine, you can do two of those things. You got five minutes. Prioritize, Minato."

And as soon as Kagedansu left, Minato felt two hands rope around his neck and pull him back into the pile, the naked flesh of their owner squishing all around his cheek.

"Kazehana," Minato said, trying to wriggle free as he wondered if he'd ever be able to leave his bed again.

His statement about morning breath was put on hold, as The Wind Sekirei kissed him anyway.

Kazehana moaned in ecstasy as her shining pink wings unfurled from her crest, and continued to do so even after Tsukiumi pulled her husband away and kissed him just as passionately. Blue replaced pink, followed by shimmering orange, then green (much to Minato's chagrin), and finally back to pink with Musubi.

"Maybe when you're done, you could spar with me!" Musubi chirped, beaming at him.

"Nay! On no account art thou to damage my husband, Musubi!" Tsukiumi squawked.

"Well, of course not!" happily replied the fist-type. "That's what makes it a spar!"

"I'll spar with you some time," Kazehana suggestively cooed to her husband, wrapping her naked arms (and breasts) around Minato's right tricep. "If Miya's not around, that is."

"Ku ku, I'll second that, if it's not a private party," Matsu snickered, occupying Minato's other arm, still in her revealing pink nightie.

"Hey! Let Minato go!" Musubi protested, pulling her Ashikabi out from the shuffle and to his feet. "How is he supposed to get ready with everyone holding him down?"

"Yeah! How?" Ku demanded, crossing her arms.

"It's mental preparation," Matsu replied. "A little taste of what 'comes' when he's done, ku ku ku."

"That won't get his teeth brushed," Musubi shot back, before putting her hands on Minato's shoulderblades and wheeling him out the door, Kusano following.

"By the way, Musubi, what's a spar?" Kusano asked.

"Oh, you don't know?" Musubi asked, propping Minato up in front of the bathroom and holding up a finger. "It's what two people do when they like each other but still want to fight. You know, what me and the landlady do outside with Tsukiumi!"

Ku's face slowly shifted to a nauseated white pigment, before she grabbed Minato's hand and started pulling on it.

"Go back to the room, big brother!"

"It'll be fine, Ku," Minato reassured her as he reeled her in and lifted her up. "This way, you guys won't have to worry about me so much."

"But we like worrying about you!"

"That may be," and he was pretty sure it wasn't, "but I don't. I hate making you guys worry. Remember when I was taken to that warehouse? Did you like worrying about me then?"

Ku looked at him, then put her little arms around his neck and hugged him close. "No…"

"Then I'm going to get stronger," he said, squeezing her to him before setting her down. "For what chance I actually have…"

"You'll do fine!" Musubi remained adamantly cheerful. "Kagedansu's going to be a great teacher, I just know it!"

"I don't think he's the problem, Musubi," Minato sighed, getting to his feet.

"And you're a great learner," she continued, giving him a hug of her own, and a kiss on the cheek. "So what's there to worry about?"

"Right, let's go!" thundered The Shadow Sekirei, appearing seemingly out of nowhere to grab Minato away.

"Uuugh…" Minato groaned. He hadn't been awake for more than 5 minutes and already-

"WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!"

Clunk!

"Ow!" Minato rubbed the back of his dropped head, the bottom step having left a lump on it.

"Big Brother!"

"Minato! Are you okay?"

As Musubi and Ku joined him on the steps, Minato gaped at Kagedansu. "What was that for?!"

"For not keeping track of time, ya moron," Kagedansu shot back. "Hasn't been 5 minutes yet, has it?"

And suddenly, Minato found himself dogpiled by 3 more women from all directions.

"Mina-kun!"

"Husband! Art thou hurt?!"

"He doesn't look hurt," Matsu said, bringing up the rear and giving him a quick look-over.

"Guys, I'm fine! I just hit my head, that's all!"

"Wrong," Kagedansu said. "I dropped him on his head."

"WHY?!" screeched three voices simultaneously.

"For being gutless. You guys winged yourselves on an invertebrate."

"What does that mean?" Musubi asked.

Matsu turned to look at her. "It's a term to mean an animal with no spi- HEY!"

Kagedansu didn't seem to notice her angry outburst, as he was too busy looking perplexed at no one, possibly himself. Nor did he seem to notice when Tsukiumi began (to attempt) to jostle him about the collar.

"What right dost thou have, injuring my husband?!"

"The right as his trainer and mentor," Kagedansu said, locking his hands around Tsukiumi's. She tried to pull herself free, but his grip was like a pneumatic vice, so he decided when . "And as someone who's concerned for his mental state."

Minato climbed to his butt. "But you said-"

"Doesn't matter what I said!" Kagedansu snapped. "If someone says one thing and then immediately does another, you got every right to tell them off!"

At this, Minato lowered his head and let out a long groan, before seeing a finger thrust against his chest.

"Listen you, if you're gonna stand a snowball's chance in Hell of winning a scrap, you gotta stand up for yourself!" That finger then turned into a close knuckle, which rose to tilt Minato back to where he was looking at Kagedansu. "How are you supposed to punch someone's lights out if you can't even be bothered to want to fight them?"

Minato was about to answer, until he realized that Kagedansu might be testing him again, meaning he might still be on the clock.

So, he said, "Well, hopefully you'll teach me," before going back upstairs to prune his morning-self. Tsukiumi followed him up, to stand guard in case Kagedansu tried some other underhanded lesson.

Which lasted about thirty seconds, Minato having had just enough time to get his teeth brushed before Kagedansu came in and threw a wad of laundry at him.

"Get dressed," he told the boy. "Clock's ticking."

"Already?!" Minato yelped.

"I told you to prioritize," said the Sekirei. "And you did. Time to reap what you sowed."

And so they came to be standing outside, facing each other. Kagedansu had a hand on his chin, looking Minato over, inspecting and scrutinizing every single part of him.

"Right," said The Shadow Sekirei. "Lemme see you punch."

Minato looked around, trying to seek the target Kagedansu had set up, before the snapping of fingers brought his attention back front-and-center.

"Come on, let's see it, then!" Kagedansu ordered. "Hit me!"

"Are you sure?" It felt kind of wrong, striking a friend.

"Buddy, if you somehow manage to hurt me with a single punch, I will call the session now and you can be the sensei."

Minato huffed a breath. "Halright, if you say so."

Minato punched Kagedansu, right in the pectoral.

"Again."

Minato did so.

"Again."

Another punch.

"Harder."

Minato obeyed.

Kagedansu repeated himself. Minato did likewise, though his fingers were starting to hurt, as was his wrist.

"You hit like a boy. Hit me like a MEH-YAN!"

Minato's next attempt met with similar results.

"A sad, strange little boy punch. Where's your 'I AM A MEY-AHN!' punch?"

What Minato thought was a "meh-yan" punch turned out to be more disappointment. And more pain.

"I just can't do this…" he sighed, wringing out his wrist.

"Do I have to drop you on your head again?"

Minato shook his head, then felt a hand on his left arm, the one that wasn't aching.

"Strong," Kagedansu said, squeezing his wrist. "Solid. If your wrist is hurting, it's because you're too loose when you punch. You need to tighten up more, keep your fist clenched so the muscles in your arm stay tight. And this-"

He grasped Minato's fingers, the sore ones.

"Don't hit with a flat fist." He gave Minato a soft, molasses-slow jab to the right of the Ashikabi's chest, pointing to various parts of his closed hand. "Hit with the top two knuckles on the hand; they form a natural point. Tilt it forward a little when you punch." He drew a line from his knuckles up his gradually thicker forearm. "It forms a single, hard shaft, better supported, and allowing you to hit with more force.

He began pointing to various parts of himself. "Aim for soft parts: chest, ribs, throat, gut. I guarantee any bone you hit is going to be a lot thicker than your phalanges or your metacarpals. Don't wanna hurt yourself."

"But isn't that, I don't know, dirty fighting?"

Kagedansu raised an eyebrow. "You wanna win or not?"

"Okay, but what IF… Hear me out: what if I want to enter a fighting tournament?"

"HA!" Kagedansu slapped him on the back, rattling the Ashikabi's teeth in their roots. "If you somehow get into a tournament with this and don't get disqualified, then you're doing it wrong."

"Why?" Minato was a little worried, even more so as he just now noticed Kazehana and Matsu on the sides of the house, watching with Ku between them. "What style am I learning?"

Kagedansu smirk-grinned, showing off a section of his gum line.

"Krav maga."

He started nodding, sloooooooowly, his yellow eyes growing wider and more hungry as he spoke.

"The most vicious... Merciless... Brutally efficient style I know."

As Minato was right on the verge of shrinking into a dried-out sponge, Kagedansu wound down.

"In short, the simplest, and the best to take with you on the street. At least, in my humble opinion."

"I don't know about this," Minato whimpered, before he was yanked under Kagedansu's arm like a sack of potatoes.

"BUT FIRST!"

And then Minato was flying through the air, yelling, being carried, watching Kazehana pursue them with Ku on her back.


Author's plug:

Now, I told you that story to tell you this one.

There's an introverted but well-meaning teen mom who was left to raise a child alone, with only a kind neighboring family to help her. She had a few social anxieties (I mean, wouldn't you if some jerk reeled you in, told you that you were hot stuff, then shoved a baby inside of you and left you to take care of it?), and a few minor but non-grating hang-ups about the opposite gender. That is, until she meets a man by the name of Kagari.

Yes, that Kagari.

And if that in any way sounds interesting to you, mosey on over to the Sekirei fic "Not Alone" by ashleygruz and give it a read. It's a little rocky at the start, but I swear you could read the reviews I left on it and catalog the writing's rise from "adequate" to "quite excellent".

So while you're waiting for more of my story, give "Not Alone" a chance. Hey, if I like it so much that I volunteer to be its beta-reader/editor, you can guarantee that it's doing something right. A lot of things, actually.

Addendum, July 6, 2017: Next chapter's coming. I have the beginning and the end more or less finished. It's the middle that's driving me nuts.