"How are you doing?" Merlin asks him that all the time, especially when he feels like they might be talking about him too much (but Merlin doesn't seem to understand that Arthur would talk about Merlin forever if he could).
There's something different about the way he asks it this time and Arthur knows exactly what that is. He takes a silent moment to debate whether or not to indulge him and he thinks he can see Merlin ready himself to say that he knows that Arthur isn't fine, that he doesn't get to say that because Merlin says that all the time. Arthur knows that Merlin wouldn't say that, though; they've talked about it, how it's unfair of Merlin to be able to smile and lie through his teeth saying that he's fine, but Arthur isn't.
Still, it's tempting.
Arthur must be too quiet for too long, because eventually Merlin babbles, "I know that things haven't really been the best for me and that it's caused some rifts between us and then you've spent time worrying about me, probably to distract yourself, because I know you've been struggling with your own stuff and I want to remind you that I am here for you. I'll listen."
At the end of Merlin's little speech, it's Arthur who takes a deep breath. He holds it. And holds it. For some reason, he doesn't quite feel like letting it go.
"Breathe."
So he does.
"Just- just hold me."
