Author's note: Having a minor case of writer's block with the next official story piece, so here's a take on a classic tale with some of yours truly's mediocre comedy. Taken from the point of view of the newest character to the cast, Sugar Plum.
Chapter 55: The Magician of Odd
Hi everyone! My daddy tells me that life is kind of like a storybook, and each day is like a chapter. Well, one day, or.. chapter I guess, one chapter was really strange! Let me tell you about it! This story begins the same way all my days start. Waking up to daddy singing in the shower. Daddy describes a shower as a personal concert hall, mommy says it needs to be a bit more personal. Mr. Jovihooves, our neighbor says it warms his heart to hear him so full of joy in the morning. Daddy then says when I tell him what Mr. Jovihooves says is that he needs to mind his own business, but that's kind of hard when you can hear him sing in the shower from Sweet Apple Acres, and I should know. I had a sleepover over there with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and I could still hear him in the morning. Frank Martin I think was the artist he was singing... or maybe Dean Sinatra... names from where daddy comes from are so hard to remember. Anyway, I yawned to myself as I sat up in bed and put my glasses on.
"Good morning Mr. Stuffly." I smiled to my teddy bear. I knew he couldn't really talk, but it was fun to pretend. I grabbed Mr. Stuffly and made my way downstairs and went over to the kitchen table, where mommy was already up. She was eating a huge breakfast! Three grapefruits, two different types of cereal, a fruit smoothie, a basket of muffins I'm pretty sure she stole from our mailmare, a loaf of buttered toast, and an entire carton of orange juice.
"Good morning sweetheart!" Mommy smiled at me. "Hungry?"
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Here, have a muffin." She slid me the basket. "If Derpy asks, tell her you last saw them with... Umm... Grandpa Cranky! Yeah! Grandpa Cranky!"
"Okay." I said as I took a muffin out and took a bite. A cool breeze blew against my back as I ate, a window must have been open, sure enough, one was, and for a July day the breeze was really strong.
"Yeah!" Mommy said, as if noticing what I was thinking. "It's really windy out today! Which is weird, I was talking to Rainbow Dash and she said that wind isn't scheduled until late August! Sometimes there's a little fluke in the system I guess, I'm sure it's nothing."
"Probably." I nodded. As we ate, daddy came downstairs, still humming to himself as he poured a mug of coffee for himself and drank it.
"Coffee kiss." He said as he kissed mommy and smirked as she gagged in disgust.
"You know I hate your coffee kisses!" She gagged.
"And just think, that's with sugar and cream added." He remarked. "I'd better get off to work, see you after my shift Cutie Pie, you too Kiddo." He said as he tussled my mane and kissed my forehead.
"Daddy wait!" I called as he headed for the door.
"Yes?" He asked, turning around.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Mr. Stuffly?" I asked. He chuckled a little and arched his eyebrow.
"Goodbye Mr. Stuffly." He said, turning around. "I'll see you all later, love you."
"Bye Chuckie!" Mommy called. "Love you too!"
"Have a good day daddy!" I called.
"Sad to see him leave, love to watch him walk away." Pinkie remarked.
"You are disgusting sometimes." A voice said. We turned to the open kitchen window to see Aunt Sunny Side leaning up against the windowsill. "You think he's gotten fatter since you've been married? I'd say at least five new pounds there."
"He looks fine." Mommy said flatly. "What's up?"
"I've gotta go around to all the houses and deliver a warning to stay indoors. Wind's only supposed to get worse from here." Aunt Sunny explained. "Court appointed thing, some putz got food poisoning and thought it was my three bean casserole. So, to clear things over, I have to do this as a community service stunt."
"Chuckie just went out for work..." Mommy remarked.
"Maybe the wind will blow that gut off of him, now you'd think he'd be carrying your foal, not you." Aunt Sunny snorted.
"I get it Sunny, you don't like him." Mommy said impatiently.
"Alright, jeez." Sunny rolled her eyes. "I'd better get going." She then turned and kept walking.
"I'll never understand why she hates your father so much." Mommy sighed.
"Wasn't daddy the one who claimed he got that food poisoning?" I asked.
"Yeah, but we don't tell Auntie Sunny Side that." Mommy said. "We should probably go get daddy before the storm get's any worse, Celestia knows Sunny won't tell him." She said as she got up. "Come on sweetheart, leave Mr. Stuffly here, it's safer for him in this wind."
"Okay mommy." I nodded as I set Mr. Stuffly down on daddy's recliner in the living room. We went out into the wind and walked towards the bar.
"He couldn't have gotten far!" Mommy hollered in the wind, we walked through the harsh winds and eventually got to the bar. Daddy was there already his mane all messy and his bow tie blown out of sorts by the wind.
"Oh, hey... what are you two doing here?" Daddy asked.
"Chuckie, you've gotta come home now. The winds are getting dangerous!" Mommy said.
"Don't think I haven't noticed?" Daddy asked. "It's probably for the best we stay right here."
"You're right." Mommy nodded, I didn't want to do that! Mr. Stuffly was still at home! I couldn't just leave Mr. Stuffly alone in this storm.
"I've gotta get Mr. Stuffly!" I said as I ran for the door and opened it.
"Sugar Plum, no!" Daddy yelled as I started to run, luckily I knew the way home. I ran and ran, the wind was tough though, but eventually I got home, I threw open the door and ran into the living room.
"Mr. Stuffly! Come on!" I said, grabbing him. "We've got to get back to mommy and daddy." Suddenly, the house started shaking a bit, the furniture started shifting around. I ran up to the window and looked outside. There was a giant tornado! I couldn't believe my eyes! There was no way I was going back outside, I ran upstairs and to my room, hiding under my bed with Mr. Stuffly, I could feel the house move, I could feel it really move! It was... floating! The tornado had lifted up our house! This was awful! I closed my eyes tightly and prepared for the worst, clutching Mr. Stuffly...
"Sugar Plum... Sugar Plum... Sugar Plum! Wake up!" I heard a voice say, it sounded like daddy! I opened my eyes and looked around.
"Daddy?" I asked. He was nowhere to be seen.
"Close, well, not close at all. Wrong is actually the most appropriate word." Daddy's voice continued. "Down here." He said, poking my leg. I looked down to see Mr. Stuffly! He was... alive!
"Mr. Stuffly... you can talk?" I remarked.
"That seems to be the case." He nodded.
"But... you're a teddy bear!" I exclaimed.
"I'm a talking teddy bear, you're a talking pony, your point was?" He asked sarcastically. "Storm's passed. What do you say we go look for mom and dad?" He asked.
"Sounds like a good idea." I nodded, only feeling a little weird that my teddy bear was suddenly alive and talking, especially since he sounded like daddy. We went downstairs to the front door, the house was a mess! We opened the front door and were blinded by the brightness of the sun at first, but when I looked around... things were... weird. The buildings were all vibrant pinks and yellows, the houses were all small in comparison to our house.
"Mr. Stuffly... I don't think we're in Ponyville anymore..." I remarked.
"No kidding." He nodded, suddenly I saw something sticking out from under our house! It was... a pair of legs! I gasped as I ran over to them, on the feet were bedazzled ruby horseshoes, and the mare wearing them was groaning in pain.
"You!" A voice exclaimed from behind me, I turned to see a mare who looked... just like Auntie Twilight. She wore a long flowing white dress and had a tall scepter. She walked over to me with a glowing smile. "You have defeated the wicked witch of the east!" She beamed.
"The wicked what-now?" I asked. "Auntie Twilight, what's going on?"
"I do not know who that is." She said. "I am Twilda, the good witch of the north."
"The... what?" I was confused.
"You saved our lives! We are eternally grateful!" A group of small ponies ran over to me, they smiled at me and hoisted me up. Okay, I was incredibly confused.
"Where am I? Who are you?" I asked, getting down from their hold.
"My apologies, we are the Markchkins!" One said to me, she looked just like Scootaloo, in fact, all of them either looked like her, Applebloom, or Sweetie Belle. "This is Markchkinville, home of our people."
"We were under attack from the terrible wicked witch of the east when you and your rocket house crashed down upon her!" Another exclaimed.
"Rocket house? No, it's just a plain old house, it was swept up by a-" I tried to explain.
"Kill a horse with a house, you become a town hero." Mr. Stuffly remarked. "This place is weird."
"Um... Mrs. Twilda... I've got to get home! My parents are probably worried about me, I have no idea where I am!" I exclaimed to her. Twilda looked at me and thought for a second.
"I'm afraid I cannot help you, but... I know who can." Twilda said. "You need to see the Magician!"
"The who?" I asked.
"The Magician of Odd!" A Markchkin exclaimed. "The most powerful being in all the lands!"
"Only he can send you home!" Another Markchkin nodded.
"Well..." I thought. "How do I get to the Magician?" I asked.
"All will be explained, but first..." Twilda used her magic to remove the ruby horseshoes from the witch. "You will need these."
"Why?" I asked as I put them on, they shrunk around my small hooves to fit perfectly.
"These horseshoes carry a great power, I don't quite know what it is, but I know her sister will be after them." Twilda explained.
"Her sister?" I asked.
"Yes! The great and powerful witch of the west!" Twilda nodded. "It's more of a self proclaimed title, she's just as wicked as her sister."
"Why me? I'm just a filly!" I asked.
"If something goes wrong, just drop another house on the witch!" Twilda dismissed my worries.
"That's really not how it-" I was cut off by a Markchkin.
"Now! About seeing that Magician." The Markchkin said. "All you have to do is follow this road!" She pointed to a bright yellow road made from wood planks.
"Follow the yellow stick road!" Another Markchkin nodded. "It will take you to Jade City, that's where the Magician lives."
"The yellow... stick road?" Mr. Stuffly asked. "These are planks."
Markchkins: follow the yellow stick road!
follow the yellow stick road
follow the yellow stick road
follow follow follow follow follow the yellow stick road
follow the yellow stick follow the yellow stick follow the yellow stick road!
You're off to see the Magician, the wonderful Magician of Odd!
you'll find he is the Macigian of wiz if ever a wiz there was,
If ever or ever a Magician that was
the Magician of Odd is one because, because, because, because, because, because, because of the wonderful things he does
you're off to see the Magician the wonderful Magician of Odd!
They sang happily as Mr. Stuffly and I walked down the road, both of us didn't quite understand what was going on, but if this road was going to get us home, we were going to take it. We kept walking down the path, looking at the strange plants and trees.
"So, witches, creepy midgets, all powerful shoes, and a yellow road." Mr. Stuffly remarked. "How are you holding up? Must be a lot to take in."
"You have no idea.." I shook my head.
"So what do yoiu think this Magician fella will be like?" Mr. Stuffly asked.
"If the past ten minutes is any indication. Probably weird." I nodded as we walked past a cornfield.
"Weird!" A voice exclaimed. "Let's see, weird... beard, sneered... feared?" A voice started listing off words that rhymed with weird. "I can think of something for that... think..." He struggled, we looked up and saw... a scarecrow, a scarecrow that looked and sounded just like Uncle Cheese.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Who am I?" The scarecrow asked. "Whenever I'm asked that and I don't recall, I just consult the tag on my underwear! Unfortunately... the farmer who stuffed me didn't give me a pair of those, along with other things." He explained. "So I guess you can call me Scarecrow."
"Okay... Scarecrow... what are you doing up there?" I asked him, seeing him held high on a pole.
"My job I guess, I hang here, if crows land nearby I holler and curse, sometimes I spit at them, anything to protect the crops." He explained.
"Fascinating line of work." Mr. Stuffly remarked.
"Not really, in fact it's the most boring thing in the world!" Scarecrow exclaimed. "What I've wanted to do, ever since I was a little straw stuffed plush toy, was to be a comedian, a singing comedian!" He explained. "Unfortunately my noggin's full of straw, not the stuff you need to write lyrics."
"Like brains?" I asked.
"Yeah! That stuff!" He nodded. "If only I had some of that, then I could achieve my dream."
"Say, we're going to see the Magician of Odd to see if he can get us home... if he can do that, maybe he can give you some brains."
"You mean it?" Scarecrow asked. "That's awesome! I'm so happy I could sing, if only I could think of some words."
"What a crying shame." Mr. Stuffly said dryly. I used the magic from my horn and remove the Scarecrow from his hooks and brought him down to the road.
"Wahoo! Let's get going! I've got years of pent up energy from just hanging there!" Scarecrow exclaimed excitedly, embodying the same hyperactive spirit of Uncle Cheese. I giggled a little as we kept walking.
"Here, you don't need to think of words for this one." I smiled.
Scarecrow and I: We're off to see the Magician, the wonderful Magician of Odd!
We'll find he is the Macigian of wiz if ever a wiz there was,
If ever or ever a Magician that was
the Magician of Odd is one because, because, because, because, because, because, because of the wonderful things he does
We're off to see the Magician the wonderful Magician of Odd!
"If I know anything about these types of adventures, there's at least two more characters we need to run into before we even meet this Magician." Mr. Stuffly remarked as we walked down the road, not entering a foresty area.
"Yeah right, I've got a feeling we'll be there in no time at all, no new characters adde-" As Scarecrow said that, he walked right into a metal object obstructing his path. "Ow..." He rubbed his head in pain. The object was shaped like a pony, but entirely from metal, tin actually. An ax leaned up against one of his legs and he wore a funnel shaped hat on his head. He was a hefty figure, he looked a lot like Uncle Quibble, if he was metal anyway.
"What is that thing?" Scarecrow remarked, eyeing the tin pony, he was completely cast from tin, except for his eyes, which still looked natural, he seemed to be in distress, he was trying to say something, he was trying to move but he couldn't!
"Oil can!" The tin pony exclaimed, but that isn't what we heard, his jaw was rusted shut, so understanding him was quite difficult. I remember daddy once saying he wished Quibble's jaw would get rusted shut, if only he were here to see it.
"Oilers fan?" Mr. Stuffly ask. "I'm more of a Penguins bear."
"No no, he said 'Royal fan', it's what princesses use to cool down with!" Scarecrow suggested.
"I think he said 'Foiled plan'." I suggested.
"You think he's some evil mastermind?" Scarecrow suggested. "If he uses the word 'foiled' to describe his plan that might be the case."
"Wait a second, think about it." Mr. Stuffly spoke up. "He's made of metal. He's rusted. What would something made of metal that got rusted want?"
"A broiled ham!" Scarecrow exclaimed.
"No, straw for brains." Mr. Stuffly rolled his eyes. "His oil can." The tin pony tried to nod and say 'yes', but he couldn't move like he wanted to.
"Where are we going to find an oil can?" Scarecrow asked. "We're in the middle of a forest." The tin pony tried to jerk his head in a direction, he darted his eyes in the direction he was trying to motion to, I looked and saw a wooden shed in the distance. Scarecrow, Mr. Stuffly, and I walked up to the shed and I opened the door, in the dark, damp shed was a can of oil, I picked it up to make sure there was still oil in it and took it out to the tin pony, I then began to pour oil on each of the pony's joints, hoping it would be enough for him, sure enough after the oil he sprung to life, he rotated his jaw a couple of times and let out a long yawn.
"That has been trapped in there for twenty years!" He remarked. "Thanks kid."
"You're welcome." I nodded. "What are you doing out here?"
"I'm a wood's pony." He explained. "I cut down trees and sell the lumber, the problem is however... I'm not a great one." He sighed. "Not the best swinger with the ax, I cut off one of my legs thirty years ago, replaced it with one made of tin." He then motioned to the rest of his body. "I'm... sure you can figure the rest out."
"You mean to tell me you cut off your head at some point?" Mr. Stuffly asked. "I'm done trying to understand this place."
"I kept having to get pieces of my body replaced, eventually I felt less and less like a pony." The tin pony explained. "Then, one night, I had to get my ribs and chest replaced, which meant the loss of my heart." He said, opening a hatch on his body and pulling out an old photo. "And when I lost that, I also lost her." He sighed.
"And that made you so sad your tears rusted you up?" Scarecrow asked.
"No, I don't have tear ducts." The tin pony scoffed. "Enough late nights chopping wood in the rain will rust up your joints," He explained. "Then one night, I'm walking back to my cabin, big rain storm of course, and I realize I can't move. And I stay rusted in position like that for twenty years, nopony ever came looking for me or even walked this trail, until you guys of course." He concluded his story. "All those years, I missed her. She was a part of me that I couldn't replace with any amount of tin."
"How tragic." Mr. Stuffly said flatly. "Okay, goodbye. Have fun with being made of metal." He said as he started to walk off, thinking Scarecrow and I were right beside him. "Guys, come on."
"We're going to Jade City to see the Magician of Odd, he's going to send me home!" I said to the tin pony.
"And I'm going in for some brains!" Scarecrow nodded. "If he can do that for us, maybe he can give you a heart." The tin pony thought for a minute before a smile spread across his face.
"I'm in." He nodded. "Call me Tin Stallion."
"That's one new character." Mr. Stuffly arched his brow. "Come on, let's go." I started to keep walking before I looked forward, the forest got really... dark. It was kind of scary to look at. I gulped a little as I stepped forward with Mr. Stuffly, Scarecrow, and Tin Stallion. Mr. Stuffly could tell I was a bit worried, he smiled up at me and tapped my leg reassuringly.
"Hey, don't worry about it. It'll be fine, there's nothing in here that will hurt you." He smiled, I don't know if it was the fact he was my oldest friend or the fact that his voice was daddy's that made me feel better, all I know is it just did... until Tin Stallion ruined it.
"Except for the dragon that lives in these woods." He said.
"The WHAT!?" Scarecrow exclaimed.
"Yeah, apparently there's a dragon that lives in these woods." Tin Stallion said. "They don't call these woods 'Dragon's Woods' for nothing."
"Do they call it that?" Scarecrow asked.
"No, but they should." Tin Stallion said.
"Never mind. All bets are off." Mr. Stuffly shook his head with a sigh.
"Come on! We'll be fine, we just have to tread lightly and watch each other's backs." Scarecrow said.
"I mean really, Sugar Plum is the only one who needs to be worried, I'm made of tin, he's a scarecrow, and he's a teddy bear. Dragons eat pony meat and jewels, not metal and fabric." Tin Stallion remarked.
"You're awful." Mr. Stuffly remarked. "It's fine... don't worry about it." He said to me.
"Don't worry about it..." A new voice said, sounding just as scared as we were. Our eyes buldged as we heard the voice. "It's just... four voices you never heard before! Those voices could belong to anything, maybe they're friendly, and... Maybe they'll try to kill you." I then felt something touch me, something scaley, it backed into me, we turned And our eyes met.
"DRAGON!" I hollered in fear.
"HUNTER!" The dragon cried in fear as we both ran off in separate directions.
"Please... Please don't eat me." I pleaded, hiding behind a tree.
"Don't kill me, please! My scales aren't even a good color for dragon skin clothes!" The voice pleaded, he sounded just like... Spike. I peaked my head out from behind the tree and looked out.
"Why would I kill you?" I asked.
"Because... you're a pony." The dragon answered, peaking out from the rock he hid behind. "Ponies only come in here to hunt dragons."
"There are a lot of dragons in these woods?" Scarecrow asked.
"No... just me actually." The dragon sighed. "So you can imagine the anxiety that gives me."
"Wow, a cowardly dragon." Tin Stallion remarked. "That's beautiful irony."
"It's not fun... I want to be brave, I want to scare off anyone who may threaten me, but I'm just... so scared." The dragon sighed.
"My daddy says that when somepony isn't brave they need to grow a pear, I guess that type of fruit makes you brave." I suggested.
"Pears don't grow in this forest, not naturally..." The dragon sighed. "So, do you really think if I grew a pear I'd be braver?"
"Absolutely." I smiled. "Say, we're heading to Jade City to see the Magician of Odd, who's to say he won't give you the seeds to grow a pear?"
"You'd really let me join you guys?" The dragon asked excitedly.
"The more the merrier!" I nodded.
"One more new character and I walk." Mr. Stuffly remarked. "Come on, let's go."
"Jade City isn't too far from here, it's just a quick walk!" The dragon said.
"What's your name?" I asked him.
"I never had a name." The dragon sighed.
"How about... Spike?" I suggested.
"I like that." He smiled. And there we were, a group, ready to go and see the Magician. Unbeknownst to us however, somepony else knew we were on our way too, somepony Twilda warned me about. The Great and Powerful Witch of the West...
"So! My sister's magic ruby horseshoes were entrusted with a little filly?" The witch growled as she looked into her crystal ball in her castle throne room. "The Grrreat and Powerful Witch of the West don't like that... She does not like that at all..." She muttered. "Oh flying monkeyyyys..." She called.
"I really hate that name, I neither fly nor am a monkey." One mare, cream white with a black and white mane and black tie grumbled as a group of ponies dubbed her 'flying monkeys' walked into her throne room.
"Silence, monkey." The Witch of the West growled. "Listen, I've a job for all of you."
"And what's that, boss?" One of her monkeys asked, a tan earth pony mare with a beehive mane.
"My sister's ruby horseshoes are in the possession of a young filly. You are to retrieve the slippers. By any means necessary." She commanded. "NOW!" She hollered.
"A mutiny is sounding real good right now." The white mare muttered to the group as they set out. Meanwhile, our group continued to walk through the forest. It wasn't too far now, I could see the end of the forest in the distance. Not too far now and we'd be at Jade City. Suddenly however, clouds filled the sky and thunder clapped. Ponies came flying down on magic brooms, circling over us. One of them landed, she looked just like Auntie Ivory! But, if this encounter was anything like the ones before,this wasn't Auntie Ivory.
"You there!" She pointed at me.
"Yes?" I asked.
"You are to give those ruby horseshoes to us right now, or we will take them by force!" She commanded.
"It is the commandment of the Great and Powerful Witch of the West!" Another nodded.
"No... I can't give them to you." I shook my head. The ponies exchanged looks and chuckled.
"We didn't ask if you were interested kid." The mare who looked like Auntie Sunny said. "Give us the shoes."
"Hey, leave her alone huh?" Scarecrow said, stepping in front of me. The mare who looked like Auntie Ivory chuckled as she approached him. She cupped his face with her hoof and grinned.
"Oh yeah?" She asked.
"Yeah." He nodded. She arched her brow as she grabbed at his cloth woven ear and yanked it with such force it tore off, ripping part of his head and exposing the straw that stuffed his insides. He cried out in pain as it happened and looked at me with hurt in his eyes.
"Rip the scarecrow to shreds and deconstruct the wind-up toy." The mare who looked like Auntie Sunny commanded. The ponies grinned and started to attack them, it was terrifying! I backed up in fear. Soon ripped shreds of cloth and straw scattered the ground and they had begun to dent and rip apart Tin Stallion. Mr. Stuffly ran up to me and jumped into my mane, hiding.
"Keep me scarce kid, I don't wanna end up like that!" He yelped. Spike and I stood beside each other in fear as they finished with our friends and approached us.
"Nice meeting you fellas." Auntie Ivory lookalike said. "Too bad you went to pieces on us." She chuckled, kicking a pile of straw.
"Take the filly." Auntie Sunny Side lookalike said. "And the dragon too, he'll make a divine leather cape for the Great and Powerful one." He exchanged worried looks, before we knew it we were both sitting in a dark and dingy cell in the Witch's castle. Mr. Stuffly climbed out of my mane and landed on the floor, he sighed to himself as he somberly picked up a harmonica and began to play.
"Well... this wasn't part of the plan." Spike remarked.
"Tell me about it." I nodded. Suddenly, a door swung open and a unicorn mare walked in. It didn't take a genius to know who Great and Powerful was meant to describe, so this wasn't quite a surprise.
"Well well well well well... well." The Witch grinned. "That's six wells, do you know why the Great and Powerful Witch of the West used six wells?" She asked me.
"Because you're an over-the-top psychopath?" Mr. Stuffly asked, arching his brow.
"NO!" She bellowed. "Because six is double three, and I'm double the threat you anticipated!"
"We never anticipated a threat, double nothing is still nothing." Mr. Stuffly shot back.
"Shut up you insolent bear!" She growled. "Guards! Take the bear and the filly to my throne room! The dragon shall be left here to be... prepared." She chuckled. Two guards grabbed me and Mr. Stuffly and drug me off. I looked back at Spike as the door slammed shut. I was tossed down on the floor of the throne room and strapped down.
"Comfortable?" The Witch asked.
"No." I shook my head.
"Good, this will be over momentarily." She grinned, grabbing for the shoe. As she laid her hoof on it, she was fired back with a electric shock, she winced and yelped in pain, tanding back to her hooves. She growled a little walking back over. "Okay, take two." She snarled. But the same thing happened. "Okay, that's it!" She growled. "I'll just have to take them the hard way!" She exclaimed.
"What's the hard way?" Mr. Stuffly asked.
"Let's just say I get my horseshoes and the school system gets another glue-stick." She grinned as she pulled a lever, revealing a large saw which began whirring and descending from the ceiling. Meanwhile, the guards tormented Spike in his cell, prodding him with a stick.
"Hey! C'mon, quit it!" He pleaded with them.
"Or what? What are you gonna do, little dragon?" Sunny lookalike laughed.
"You'll be a lot less mouthy as a hoofbag." Ivory lookalike remarked.
"Ayup." Big Mac lookalike grinned.
"Wait! Come on!" Spike pleaded. "You shouldn't make me a hoofbag!" He pleaded.
"Why not?" Ivory lookalike asked.
"Because..." He thought. "Because I would look so bad as a a hoofbag... my talents would lie... more as a a hoofrug. Or... maybe a leather throw pillow!"
"He's right." A mare stepped forward, an Auntie Rarity lookalike. "His hide would look so much better as a couch decoration. Definitely not attire."
"She get's it!" Spike hollered. "Now... do you really need to kill me?"
"Witch's orders." Ivory lookalike explained.
"Okay... say the Witch didn't want me skinned and killed, all that jazz." Spike said. "Would you kill me?"
"Who knows?" Sunny Side lookalike shrugged.
"Maybe, maybe not." Ivory lookalike said. "But the point it moot, the Witch wants you dead, so it's what we've got to do."
"Ah, your her henchponies then?" Spike asked, making conversation.
"Guess you could say that." Sunny lookalike stated. "It's not all bad."
"Sure!" Ivory lookalike nodded. "We've um... We've got..."
"Nothing?" Spike asked.
"We don't even have a dental plan!" Rarity lookalike sobbed suddenly.
"You don't even have dental..." Spike remarked. "How sad."
"It's... not fun." Sunny lookalike admitted. "I've got a niece who I look after who needs braces, how am I gonna pay for them?"
"Have you tried seeking out other employment opportunities?" Spike asked.
"In this economy? Puh-lease." Rarity lookalike sighed.
"Point taken." Spike nodded. "Well..." He stopped. "Forget it..."
"What?" Ivory lookalike asked.
"Well, we were on our way to Jade City, maybe there's jobs there." Spike suggested. "Sugar Plum would gladly take you... as long as you get me out of here." They all exchanged looks, Big Mac lookalike stepped forward, the key ring in his hoof. He unlocked the cage and the door opened.
"Thanks." He smiled at Spike.
"No, thank you." Spike replied. "Now come on! Let's get Sugar Plum!" He said. Meanwhile, the saw kept falling. My eyes had welled up with tears, this was it. I was going to die! And I never even got to see mommy and daddy again. At least daddy was kind of here, even though he wasn't really. Though Mr. Stuffly wasn't all that much emotional support.
"WHY DO I HAVE TO DIE!?" He wailed. "I DON'T HAVE THE SHOES!" He cried out as the saws descended.
"Oh quiet!" The Witch hollered as she watched the saws fall. Suddenly, the doors swung open and Spike led her gang of "flying monkeys" in.
"Unhand the filly!" Ivory look alike growled.
"WHAT!?" The Witch hollered. "What right have you to order me?"
"A little thing called 'Employee's Rights and Welfare', that's what!" Sunny lookalike replied.
"We quit!" Big Mac lookalike nodded.
"That's awesome!" Mr. Stuffly remarked. "NOW GET US OUT OF HERE!" He exclaimed.
"Oh, right." Ivory lookalike nodded, flipping the switch, stopping the saws, Big Mac lookalike helped us out of our binds and helped us up. We stood up and faced the witch, it was now all of us versus one of her.
"Stay back!" The Witch growled. "You may have the shoes, but I have my magic!" She growled.
"Yeah, well you weren't betting on us having this..." Mr. Stuffly said, stepping forward, reaching his par into a sewn pocket on his stomach. "Pocket sand!" He exclaimed, throwing a handful of sand into the Witches eyes.
"Ow!" The Witch exclaimed. "That really hurts!" She hollered, stumbling around blindly, tripping on one of the broomsticks and falling into her bubbling cauldron, wailing in pain as the water boiled her.
"Don't look kid." Ivory lookalike covered my eyes as she wailed in pain and agony, when the wailing was gone, we all stood and exchanged glances.
"Well, we're officially free." Sunny lookalike remarked.
"Now what?" Ivory lookalike asked.
"Now, we've got friends to put back together!" I exclaimed. Meanwhile, our friends laid there on the path, pieces scattered everywhere, Scarecrow's head opened his eyes and looked around.
"Hey, Tin Stallion, you there?" The head asked.
"Yeah." Tin Stallion nodded.
"Do you believe in alternate universes? Like where maybe we're longtime best friends? Both ponies?" Scarecrow's head asked.
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Tin Stallion's head said bluntly. Just then, we landed on there off of the broomsticks and walked up to them.
"Sugar Plum!" Scarecrow remarked. "Good to see you, can you lend me a hoof? Or two? Three?"
"Don't worry." I smiled. "Fellas?" I looked to the others, who in moments had them back together. Tin Stallion arched his joints bitterly, his joints squeaking slightly as he did.
"Little tighter than it should be." He remarked. "You left a piece out!"
"You can ask the Magician for it, let's go!" I exclaimed.
Once we arrived, we walked through the gates of the city and to the tower in the center of the city, the city glistened in a green gem, the sun shone though the crystals, it was certainly a spectacle! Once we arrived the the tower, we knocked loudly on the door and it opened. We walked in to see a pony behind the desk, specifically a pony who looked just like Auntie Maud.
"Hello. Welcome to Jade City." She said flatly. "Unfortunately, the wizard in unavailable right now, you may return during visiting hours, from 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM, Mondays through Fridays."
"No way!" Tin Stallion shook his head. "You have no idea what we've just gone through, we're seeing that Magician!" He exclaimed. "C'mon!" He led the lot of us past the desk and through the doors behind it to see the Magician, when the doors opened, we were all surprised, the room was... blank. Nothing! No furniture, no lights, just wood panels and walls.
"WHO DARES ENTER THE MAGICIAN'S CHAMBERS!?" A voice bellowed.
"Sugar Plum..." I said. "where are you?"
"I am invisible!" The voice echoed. "I am not seeing wishers now, come back later!"
"No way pal." Tin stallion shook his head.
"Yeah! You're granting our wishes!" Scarecrow nodded. A window screen rolled down in the wall and an orange coated stallion looked out at us. He looked just like Auntie Starlight's friend Starburst!
"Look, guys. You've got to go." He said.
"Who are you, goat beard?" Sunny lookalike asked. He sighed and hung his head.
"The Magician..." He sighed.
"WHAT!?" We all exclaimed.
"I... I can explain." He said, the screen rolled up and a door opened, he then walked out. "I'm not really a wizard, I'm a simple spellcaster, I can't grant wishes... But... they thought that I could! So who was I to disappoint?"
"Who are you to disappoint?" Mr. Stuffly asked. "Just what are you doing right now?"
"You lied to ponies? Built yourself up like that on lies?" I asked. "You're a bad pony."
"No." He shook his head. "I'm not a bad pony, just a bad magician." He explained. "I feel terrible."
"As you should." Tin Stallion said.
"Look, maybe it's not too late. Just... tell me what you want... I'll see what I can do." He sighed. We told him what we all wanted and he stroked his beard in thought. "I'll... do what I can." He nodded. "Just give me a couple hours."
"Fine." Spike said.
A couple of hours later we were summoned back into the chambers Where we were welcomed by him. He had gathered an audience of ponies and markchkins to come and watch our wishes granted.
"Welcome all!" He called out. "Today, for the first time, I will be making these folks wishes granted to a public audience for all to see!" He exclaimed, getting applause from all. "First, a dragon!" He welcomed Spike up. "For you, who needed to grow a pear, I present to you this packet of pear seeds, you will find courage from these." Spike took the package and looked at it.
"I really thought these would seem more elusive." He admitted.
"Yes yes, next up we grant the wish of the Tin Stallion!" The Magician announced. Tin Stallion walked up, grinning in anticipation. "For the Tin Stallion who just wanted a heart, I present to you... your heart!" He said, grabbing a cartoony heart shaped magnet and sticking it to his chest.
"Maybe this is working, or maybe the magnet is messing with my wiring... either way, I feel different." He remarked.
"You're welcome, my metallic friend." He said as Tin Stallion was ushered off the stage. "Now, for the Scarecrow."
"Alrighty! Load me up, ready for a brain here!" Scarecrow said as he removed his head from his body.
"That won't be necessary..." The Magician said. "Instead, for the wannabe comedian who couldn't think of material, I give to you this." He said, giving him a book.
"Lester Chuckle's rhyming dictionary and joke book?" Scarecrow asked, reading the title.
"Precisely!" The Magician nodded. "And finally, Sugar Plum." He welcomed me up. I walked up on stage and stood beside him. "The little filly who just wants to go home... I have... some bad news."
"What?" I asked.
"I cannot send you home." He said. "I'm sorry." I welled up with tears, I was never going to get home! I sighed as I went to leave, when a voice called for me. It was Twilda!
"Wait a minute!" She said. "I know how to get you home."
"How?" I asked.
"It's easy, just click the heels on the horseshoes and say 'Just get me home', like that!" She explained.
"Could I have done that this whole time?" I asked.
"Yes." She nodded. "But then you wouldn't have ever helped these three." She motioned to the friends I had made.
"It's time to go home." Tin Stallion said.
"Your folks probably miss you." Spike said.
"We're gonna miss you." Scarecrow nodded. I smiled as I went over and hugged them all. I was going to miss them too, luckily in a way I knew they'd be around at home.
"I'm ready." I said. "Mr. Stuffly, when we go back, you know you'll be just a normal teddy bear again, right?" He chuckled and nodded.
"I know, don't worry, I was used to it before." He said. "Let's go home."
"Just get me home." I said as I clicked the heels of my shoes, and like that the world around me vanished.
"Sugar Plum... Sugar Plum... SUGAR PLUM!" A voice yelled out as I opened my eyes, when I opened them I was in my bed, and mommy and daddy were looking down at me. I beamed and hugged them both.
"I'm back! I'm really back!" I exclamed.
"Yes, you're back. Where did you go?" Daddy asked, confused why I was so happy.
"A twister picked up the house! When I woke up I was in a strange land! With Markchkins and a scarecrow and witches!" I exclaimed.
"No..." daddy shook his head. "You fell and bumped your head looking for Mr. Stuffly, when we came back you were lying on the floor."
"What?" I asked.
"Yeah!" Mommy nodded. "The storm passed not long after you ran off."
"So... it was all a dream?" I asked.
"Yep." Daddy nodded.
"Oh." I said, "I guess that makes sense."
"Now, who wants to put a snapping turtle in Mr. Jovihooves' mailbox?" Daddy asked.
"I do!" I exclaimed, and so the three of us walked off, unbeknownst to us, Mr. Stuffly chuckled, now alone and winked.
