Hey, I'm BACK! :D Hope you didn't miss me all too much, but I sure as hell missed writing! So here's a chapter for you guys, not sure when the next one will be up. But I think this story will come to an end at the end of March, if not, then in April.

BUT the story won't end there. There will be an epilogue after the last chapter and then the status will go from 'in progress' to 'completed', but I will still be adding new chapters, but these are short stories and stuff like that. These short stories will begin with Book of Murder and I have no idea how many 'extra chapters' there are going to be. But you can be sure that Book of Murder will be happening AFTER the epilogue.

And I AM going to write another Kuroshitsuji-fic in the future, but not soon. After I've said goodbye to Clarissa I want to write some stuff not Kuroshitsuji-related so that I can be fresh and new when I write another one. I'm not sure what my next story will be about, I'm not sure about a lot at this point, but I can say for sure that Book of Murder IS happening.

And I took a break to focus on school and get rid of the typos… but I sort of didn't. I got to chapter 5 before I thought 'to hell with that, I'll go a check when the story's done'. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. And even though I did check this chapter, there's always stuff that I miss, so sorry about the typos.

Anyway, enjoy chapter 51 and thank you guys for the wait!

I do not own Kuroshitsuji


XxX

Chapter 51

I had the feeling that William was desperately trying to keep up a conversation with me. 'That demon did go to the lab for a DNA-test not too long ago,' he said after I didn't react to his story about Grell losing his death scythe again. 'He did not know that we were keeping an eye on him. We used false DNA-results to make sure he thought you were human. Maybe he'd lose interest if he did. Which obviously wasn't the case.'

'William,' I said when I thought about something that I hadn't really thought about before. 'My soul... is it... obtainable for creatures such as demons?'

William readjusted his glasses while driving. 'Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. It's also a very powerful soul, so don't be careless with it. I know that look you have in your eyes, but if you think you can save the boy, you're wrong. That boy has been walking in the dark for too long. He's beyong saving.'

I sighed and looked out of the window. Why does everyone - even Ciel himself - speak about Ciel like he's already gone?

I have to admit that I was relieved when we finally reached the mansion. But when I walked up to the gate of the Phantomhive manor, Will stopped me. 'Wait, Miss Lane,' he said. When I turned around I saw that he had a strange look in his eyes. 'Before you go in, there's something I would like to show you.'


XxX

'Hey, stalker-kitty. Long-time no see,' I told the black cat who walked towards me as I walked over to the front door of the mansion. Then I decided to give him a name, because 'stalker-cat' wasn't a really good one. 'Bubbles,' was the first things that came into my mind. The cat tilted his head like Sebastian did so often, as if he was asking me what I'd just said.

I knelt down and put my hand forward, waiting for the cat to approach me. Which he did with a soft purr. 'Bubbles,' I repeated. 'I'm going to call you Bubbles. Do you want to be my friend, Bubbles?'

Then I shadow fell across my and the cat and I looked up to Ciel, with his hands on his hips. 'Jesus Christ, you look and sound like a walking and talking Christmas special,' he said.

I shot straight up, forgetting all about Bubbles, and wrapped my arms around Ciel. 'You're okay!' I said relieved, hugging him like I wanted to squeeze him to death. Then I remembered the short kiss he'd given me and released him immediately.

He looked like he hadn't expect me to react like that, but he didn't seem too unhappy about it. 'So are you. Now get back in side. And make sure that filthy thing doesn't follow you. I'm allergic.'

I sighed and rolled my eyes. If only Ciel knew that this cat had been into his house numerous of times. 'Yes, Ciel, I know. I'm not stupid.'

'What gave you that idea?' he asked as he leaded me to the mansion.

I rolled my eyes again. 'Aren't you a little bit too funny today.'

Sebastian was holding the door open for his master to enter. 'Welcome back, miss Lane,' he said. 'Did you sleep well?'

'Yes, thank you for asking,' I answered, not liking this strange attitude that Sebastian suddenly had. What was he planning?

'Come with me to my office, Clarissa,' Ciel ordered as he gave Sebastian his coat. Since Sebastian didn't ask for mine, I kept mine as I walked after Ciel towards his office.

I sat down on the chair in front of the desk and watched as he walked around his desk and sat down on the corner of his, crossing his legs and looking at me with a look that I could not understand. 'So, you're a hybrid,' was all he said.

Of course. I should've known that Sebastian would tell his master. Why wouldn't he? 'It appears so,' was the incredible unintelligent answer I gave him.

'So… how do we feel about that?' was his next question.

I scratched the back of my head, feeling nervous around Ciel now. Wasn't sure why. It bothered me. 'Err… my brain hasn't really progressed it yet, so I'm kind of in a 'wow'-state at the moment.'

'Aha,' was Ciel's reaction, clearly not approving of my choice of words. 'And… I suppose there's something you want to ask me?'

There was too much I wanted to ask him. But I couldn't. I didn't want to hear the answers. So I asked the question that I could ask with more ease. 'I'm surprised you're here. I thought you would go after Ash as soon as you realised he'd something to do with it.'

Ciel frowned. 'I didn't know that until you just told me so,' he assured me, catching me by surprise. Shit! Was that something that I shouldn't have said? I tried to think of something so say, and excuse, maybe, but then Ciel sighed. 'Not that it matters. Ash is still the Queen's butler and even though you told me Ash is involved with this, the Queen isn't. And I do now want to cause the Queen any inconvenience while getting my revenge.'

That sounded like something Ciel would say. And also something that Ciel wouldn't say. 'Why would you care?' I asked bitter. 'When Sebastian has taken care of Ash, you'll die.' I crossed my arms and blinked a few times more to keep my tears from flowing. Stupid Ciel. Stupid contract.

Ciel came a little bit closer so he could push my face up to have a better look at me. 'What's that? Are you angry? It's not your decision, Clarissa. Get over it already. I will die. So will you. One day. We are all destined to die.'

I wasn't too sure about that. Half angel, half reaper. Two immortal beings. How mortal could I truly be?

Then I felt something strange in my stomach, like burning fire. I shot out of my chair and stood close to Ciel, pointing one finger to him as if I was blaming him for something. Which maybe I was. 'That's not it, is it? This isn't about the Queen, this is about something else. Are you scared, Ciel Phantomhive? Are you scared of dying? Are you scared of leaving this world?'

Ciel pulled up an eyebrow. 'I don't know where that came from, but of course I'm not.' Then he frowned. 'I just thought… it's a tempting idea… to die with the soul the craves.'

I cringed as he said the 'd'-word, even though I had just said it myself, from his mouth it sounded different. But I did understand what he meant. To him, this was a game of chess. And I felt like he realised that he wasn't playing with Ash, but with Sebastian. And dying with the soul that demon craved would be like winning the game for Ciel. And I wish I could help him. But I didn't know how. He would hate me forever if I saved him. He wouldn't even call it saving.

Then Ciel reached for my face and I felt his fingers on my cheek as he touched me as if I could disappear any moment now. It was like Sebastian's touch, it wasn't magical, but it was warm and somehow soothing and I noticed that I unconscious leaned into his hand, as if I needed that touch as much as he seemed to need it.

I realised that this was the perfect moment to ask a question. About us. About why he'd kissed me. About why I wanted to save him. About how Sebastian had tried to lure me into the darkness to many times. About how I would willingly give up my soul to save his.

Was that love? I didn't think so. Not the love that burned hot and bright, destructive enough to consume everything on its path. What I felt for Ciel was more like a small candle in a room. It was a small light that made the room glow, but it was put out so easily. Just a small blow and it would be gone.

'Clarissa,' Ciel said, slowly moving forward, just a little bit.

I saw that he wouldn't go any further. He wanted it to be my decision. I had never expected Ciel to leave that sort of thing to me, but now that I thought about it, he probably was just embarrassed. The only girls he really seemed to know ere Lizzy and me. Not a large range of experience there. Of course he was scared.

But I knew that kissing Ciel now would leave to nothing. Ciel would still die. We wouldn't become girlfriend-and-boyfriend. Ciel didn't even do 'friends'. Of course he didn't do the whole 'girlfriend-boyfriend'-thing either.

Then I heard someone clearing his throat and I leaned back to look who had entered the room. I wasn't surprised to see Sebastian, however, I was surprised to see how angry he looked. I knew that look. It was his 'don't touch my prey'-look that he always gave people who were touching Ciel.

I took a few steps back. 'Relax, Seb, I'm not hurting your precious master.'

That made Sebastian frown. 'I didn't—' Then he stopped himself from anything else, almost as if he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. 'I just wanted to ask what I should do about miss Lane,' he then said, talking to Ciel as if I wasn't in the room anymore.

Ciel cleared his throat and sat down behind his desk before speaking. 'What do you mean?' he asked his butler.

'Well, she obviously cannot stay here,' Sebastian reasoned. 'Now that it's been confirmed that she's a powerful being that I cannot take on, it's too dangerous for her to stay here. She could mess up everything.'

'For you, you mean,' Ciel said, entangling his hands.

Sebastian's expression became as hard as stone and he didn't react. I had to admit that that was actually kind of funny. I never knew that Ciel dared to say such things to Sebastian. Or maybe I had known it, but it still surprised me.

'Clarissa was my guest from the beginning and that won't change. However, it's a good thing you're here now, Sebastian.' Ciel but his elbows on the desk and leaned leant his head on his hands. 'I want you to go find out about the Queen's activities for the upcoming month. Report me about what you find in the afternoon.'

Sebastian bowed – clearly not all too willingly – and said: 'Yes, my Lord,' before disappearing completely.

Ciel sighed and stood up again, this time he walked toward the table with the chess board and pieces and sat down. 'Now then… How about some chess?'


XxX

I was surprised how calm Ciel was while explaining chess to me. Even if he had to repeat himself three times, he didn't seem to mind. As if he liked being with me. Which I hoped he did, but I still wasn't sure about that.

I didn't win any game, of course. I was terrible and Ciel was trained, professional and intelligent. I bet playing chess with me was incredibly boring for him, but he never complained.

Sebastian came back without a problem and announced that he was going to start with the preparations for dinner when I had already lost eleven times.

Dinner was silent. Soon after that Ciel returned to his room and Mei-Rin was ordered to bring me back to mine. I took a long bath before getting into the warm and big bed that I, too be honest, had missed a lot. I wasn't tired yet, though. So I just looked at the ceiling, not really thinking about anything important.

'Young master seemed to be very impressed by the fact that you are – in fact – not human,' Sebastian said and as he said it, I smiled. I knew it.

My smile must have confused Sebastian a little, because he asked: 'What's so funny?'

I kept looking at the ceiling as I said: 'I knew it was only a matter of time before you would show up to my room to talk about nonsense and then leave when you feel like it. That's what you always do. You're a bit strange, you know that?'

I felt it when he sat next to me on the bed and I heard him sigh. 'I'm aware of the fact that to you, I might look or act strange. Even though I most of the time act according to my true nature.'

'Most of the time?' I repeated frowning, finally looking at him.

His dark red eyes looked down on me and he had an almost invisible smile playing on his lips. 'Yes, there are – of course – some exceptions.'

'Oh?' I said, pulling up an eyebrow. 'And what are those, exactly?'

'Well, the fact that I had to raise a human boy wasn't exactly part of my nature,' he explained with a sigh. 'Nor was not killing you. Which I'm still not going to do, so you can go ahead and relax.'

I narrowed my eyes, not sure if I could trust his word. As I did that, he narrowed his eyes too, clearly not entirely sure why. Then I said: 'Yeah, I'm not going to believe you like that. You can still lie to me, remember?'

Sebastian sighed. 'I know how reapers and angels work, Clarissa. And I might be arrogant, but I'm not stupid enough to even consider killing someone who is so many times more stronger than I am.'

It was strange, hearing it from his mouth. It made it even more true. Will, Undertaker, they could say whatever they wanted, but it felt like they were from a different place all together. Sebastian was closer to my world – or at least the world I was momentarily living in – and it somehow made it more real. I yawned and allowed myself to close my eyes. I rolled on my side, facing Sebastian with eyes closer, and put my hands in front of my face, covering my mouth. 'That's right,' I said, my voice sounded strange through a pair of hands. 'I could crush you like an ant. So don't even think about doing something to me in my sleep.'

Sebastian laughed softly, but didn't say anything. Then, suddenly, I felt a hand on my head and I froze, but then I realised that it was Sebastian's hand and even though that didn't make me relax completely, it did calm me down a bit.

'You don't seem to have much of a reaction,' I said after a short while of silence. It sounded like a whisper.

'That's because a bigger reaction than this wouldn't do me any good,' he answered. 'Of course I was surprised, but it explained more than enough to keep me satisfied. Even though I now know you're a bigger threat than I thought you were, I also now know that there isn't much I can do to get rid of you.'

'Hmm, I almost get the feeling you don't want to,' I said teasingly.

'I suppose that's true,' Sebastian said to me surprised, but I wasn't sure how to react to that, so I kept my mouth shut and eyes closed, trying to hide the fact that I was blushing about something as small and simple as this.

Then Sebastian started to pet me like I was a cat and somehow that seemed like an honour. Then I heard Sebastian sigh again, but I was too far gone already to ask why he sighed. I must've been more tired than I thought I was.

Then, on the brink of dreams and nightmares, I swear I heard Sebastian say: 'If only I could keep you.'

But that was something that Sebastian would never say, so I threw that away as something my mind had produced before I fell asleep.


XxX

'Paris?' I repeated.

'Yes, Paris,' Ciel answered and he took another sip of tea before cutting another piece of his cake. 'We'll leave tonight, so be sure to pack your things.'

'Why are you even taking me with you?' I asked as I considered giving my piece of cake to Ciel as well, since I wasn't feeling too good.

Ciel smiled a smile that didn't look happy at all. 'First off, you're still under my protection. Second, of anyone were to blow up my mansion, I bet it would be you. And lastly… you're the strongest here. I might need you.'

I froze. 'I'm not your weapon.'

Ciel gave me a sceptical laugh. 'And I'm not a fighter. But here we are.' I wasn't sure what he was trying to say though.

I sighed. Hey, at least I was coming with them. But I wasn't sure if I was going to like Paris. What was the Queen doing there anyway. 'And why can you attack Ash while he's with the Queen in Paris, but not when he's with the Queen in London?'

Ciel answered almost immediately, which told me that he'd thought about this answer beforehand. 'I don't want to risk destroying her castle. And I've never gone good business with the French anyway. I wouldn't care even if I blew up the freaking Eifel Tower.'

I found that idea strangely exciting. 'OEH! Let's do that!' I said with my mouth full of cake, because I had taken a bite out of reflex.

Sebastian, who was standing across the room cleaning the silverware, chuckled and Ciel looked like he wanted to face palm himself. 'Please, Clarissa, remember that out of us two, you're the older one,' Ciel said before putting his knife down and turning his head to Sebastian. 'Another piece of cake, please.'

Sebastian nodded and put the just cleaned silver spoon away. 'Yes, my Lord.'

Oh, that reminded me of the things Will had shown me before he'd left me. I shot up from my chair and smiled at Ciel. 'Look what I've learned.' Then I grabbed Sebastian's wrist and flew him above my head on the ground. Of course Sebastian's demon reflexes were quick enough to be on his feet almost immediately after, but it still made me laugh. 'You see, Sebas? Every time you're mean to me I will throw you like that.' I laughed at his perplexed face and ticked him on the nose. 'So remember that, okay?'

When he looked at me like he'd just met his worst nightmare I laughed even harder.


XxX

End of the chapter! This was kind of a filler chapter and it wasn't very long either, so sorry about that.

Jacelover103: Yes, I have! I love them! And hey, I won't stop writing when this story's over, so maybe you'll like my upcoming stories as well? Anyway, thank you for liking my story and thinking I'm a great author, those compliments really mean a lot to me :)

Aqua Lilly: I love the plan! Let's go there now! Not sure what the address his though, but don't worry, I'll find it! ;)

promocat: well, hope you liked the reaction! They will have a more detailed conversation later, don't worry!