Warning: This chapter, though short, is intense, graphic and full of mature content and imagery.

Chapter 55 - Descent into The Darkness

(Passages taken from Alyssa's journal)

First Month:

Not much to say, not many changes.

We returned to the palace today. In order to arrange everything for the next six months, we would have to leave everything in Teagan's hands, which meant we had to tell him. He did not take it very well, but understood why we were doing it.

We gathered Teagan and our closest friends in the throne room today. I am glad I did not do any of the explaining to them. It was very difficult. My Alistair did it very well and I felt a surge of pride swell up in me. Teagan, Zevran and Anders were dumbfounded when he finished explaining what we were going to do.

Teagan, at first, did not want to listen to us, and protested that Ferelden needed us as rulers. He does not like the idea of becoming the regent for the next six months.

He relented in the end, of course. He always does.

Alistair has begun to watch me intensely. It is as though he cannot tear his eyes away from me. We make love at odd times during the night and day.

The nightmares have started for him, he wakes up sweating and calling out to me in the middle of the night, and I hold him close and comfort him. Surprisingly, I am having no nightmares now. We'll see how long that lasts!

We have returned to the Keep today, bringing as much food as we can with a retinue of soldiers and servants.

After we settled in, we sent them back home, except for some guards who stayed on to protect the keep, and Anders who insisted on staying, even though he knows exactly what will happen to us. He has promised not to interfere, and I see him talking to Avernus all the time. Avernus says that another mage might come in handy later.

Avernus doesn't like him much, I think...

Second Month:

The madness threatens us, but we do not fear it. Avernus told us to embrace it, because if we fight back, it will be worse. Some days, we stay in bed naked all day, calling for food as we join our bodies and become one.

We still talk and laugh normally when we can tear ourselves away from the bed.

Alistair has the most delicious body. His chest captivates me, his hands do the most delicious things to me and my heart and body sing at the same time. I am having nightmares now, where he is gone, killed by the archdemon and I sob and kill myself, throwing myself into the lava below...

I found myself flirting with Anders today. He looks so much like Alistair! Alistair found us staring at each other and literally growled at him. He jumped back and left.

Then Alistair made love to me on the dining room table, and the two guards stationed outside the keep came into the room and found us half naked and deep in the throes of passion. We looked at them briefly and continued to make love, and they left the room. I don't think they will ever be able to look at us again...

How embarrassing, yet strangely intoxicating at the same time!

Third Month:

Sweet Andraste! I don't know how I'm writing this! I can barely keep my hand on the quill, I keep touching myself! I can only think about sex and eating, I am so hungry! So hungry!

While we were eating, Alistair poured sauce all over my naked body, and then licked me all over. I tremble with desire now even to think about it...

I feel sick as I write this...I attacked one of the dogs that wander around the keep today with a knife and stabbed it to death. I bent down and started to drink its blood...Anders found me before I could sink my teeth into its flesh. He stunned me and took the knife away, then carried me away to the tower. I was laughing as he did so.

The mages locked us up in the tower while they took turns casting sleeping spells on us to calm us down.

Alistair and I don't talk as much as we did, but fuck each other every time we can. It's so much better than talking...

I feel the urge to kill Alistair growing inside me. I must kill him and drink his blood! Maker help me!

Ah, Alistair! Hold me!

Fourth Month:

Avernus chanted longer than usual as he worked his magic on us. We couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. We stripped and made love passionately in front of him.

I am not myself. I stripped naked in front of everyone today, and touched myself, licking my fingers afterwards, laughing all the time. Anders' eyes threatened to pop out, he left the room and Alistair took me right there.

He doesn't say much these days, my poor Alistair...

He continues to fill me and thrust inside me, even as I am writing this, he takes me, thrusting his penis deeply into my ass, his growls fill my ears, and I want nothing more than this...

Ah, his fingers are inside me, I cannot write or think...

Alistair found me outside with a soldier today, a stranger that had come to buy some wares from Levi and stayed on when I flirted with him. We were fucking. He joined us, and fucked me too...I cannot get my fill...I am not satisfied, even when I see them kissing and fucking each other, while their hands touch me roughly. I feel the darkness, the soldier is gone, but Alistair is not and he continues to thrust in me.

We are taken inside, and howl at them. Alistair growls and snarls, and four men have to hold him down.

Avernus ended up locking us in the tower today after we threatened each other with knives in the kitchen. Anders cast a sleeping spell on us and someone took away the knives.

I would love to kill him and drink his blood...

I must have his blood!

Fifth Month:

(The page is full of ink blots and unintelligible scribbles. The words are hard to make out)

Darkness...

There is no Maker, there is no hope...

Death will certainly come and claim us. Death and darkness...

Alistair! There is nothing but you...

Take me! Take me now!

Your blood, give me your blood...

...

The sixth month was the most difficult just like Avernus had said it would be.

Anders kept to his room most of the time, but whenever he walked to the tower where Alyssa and Alistair had been locked in, he could hear their screams.

They had been locked in separate rooms but still screamed at each other at the top of their lungs. They threatened each other and then would call out and beg each other for forgiveness.

Avernus and Anders took turns in casting sleeping spells constantly on them towards the end, so they would not hurt themselves.

Their eyes were wild whenever they were open, and they were thin, in spite of being fed at all times during the day and night. It was as though the taint was devouring them from the inside out, wanting to gain dominance over them, wishing to course and flow through their bloodstream once again.

And then, the fevers started.

They lay on their beds and thrashed, screaming and muttering half phrases and obscenities. The fever burned in them for a week and Anders, who was not a very religious man, prayed fervently to the Maker and Andraste.

...

Alistair was walking in a beautiful field full of flowers and wild roses. He was searching for something, but he did not know what it was. He only knew that he was not complete.

He was strangely calm in spite of this feeling of not being whole, and drank in the beauty of the place he was in.

This was the Fade. It had to be...

He frowned and remembered vaguely that he had to meet someone, and continued to walk until he spied a figure in the distance walking towards him.

This woman, a beautiful woman, was smiling at him, walking towards him. They stopped in front of each other.

Her violet eyes danced at him.

With a sob of recognition, Alistair swept her up into his arms.

...

He opened his eyes and found himself in a room, lying on a bed, and Alyssa smiling tenderly down at him.

There were dark circles under her eyes, and she was pale and gaunt, but she was his Alyssa and they were both awake and felt sane at last.

"My love," he murmured and pulled her down in a gentle embrace.

"We're back, Alistair," she whispered. "We're back and we're cured. It's finally us. We made it."

"Yes, we made it. Thank the Maker!" Then softly into her ear, "I didn't hurt you, did I?" She shook her head.

"I see you are both doing fine," Avernus said. Anders chuckled beside him. "We'll leave you now. Is there anything you would like?"

They turned to him, smiling. "A hot bath," they both answered at the same time, and laughed.

"And cheese," Alistair added, his grin threatening to make his cheeks burst.

Avernus and Anders smiled as they left the room.

A/N: Please read and review. Thanks! :D

Stay tuned, the next chapters are lighter and rewarding, I promise! ;)