Disclaimer: Nope. Note SPN does not belong to me. Which sucks ass, BTW.
Author's Note: SO sorry I haven't posted! Both my kids have to have their tonsils taken out. I'm neck deep in Day Camp planning. But on the up side, my hubby's surprise birthday party went off without a hitch, so that's one thing in my favor. Enjoy! And no, I haven't abandoned this bad boy. I have a TON of story left to tell if I can just find the time to write it...
January 24 (We are backtracking a bit so we can hear some of this lovely story and what happened last time while the kids were dealing with their…issues)
Ryan POV
"Fucking teenagers," Dean moaned.
Ryan blew out a breath and made an executive decision. "Come on, Dean. Let's…let's get out of here."
He glanced up the stairs and sighed. "Where?"
"The bunker. No kids. Come on. Let's call Andy and Sam, tell them about this lovely debacle."
"God. Fuck, Ryan. I thought Hope getting her period was bad…"
Ryan shook her head as she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, which narrowed. "Go on out to the Impala, sweetie. I'll be right there."
"Yeah. Okay." He walked to the cake box and let out a little whine. "And my fucking cake…"
Her lip quirked. "It's fine, Dean, just a little dented. I'm sure you can still eat it."
"I demand those two brats make me a damn pie. Apple. With those fucking apples cut BY HAND. No magic. No powers."
Ryan nodded in amusement. "Go on outside. Take the cake with you."
He scooped up the box, still muttering as he walked out. Ryan's jaw clenched as she stalked up the stairs. She felt sure the girls had enough for the evening. But the boys… She didn't bother knocking, just stormed on in. "Hello, boys."
"Jeez, Ryan! Knock or something!" Ben shouted as he put his hand dramatically over his naked chest. Apparently he had been changing for bed.
She rolled her eyes. "Since when are you shy?" she countered as she stared from one to the other. "Look, you two didn't have anything to do with tonight per se, but I'm watching you. I think it's great you stand together, but winking outta here and not facing your responsibilities? Dick. Move. I'll let it slide this time because there was enough shit that went down tonight, but remember, Jesse, you can't just disappear as way of handling crap. Occasionally you have to face up to your problems. Both of you. Okay?"
"Yes ma'am," they both stated softly.
She sighed. "Now, thanks to tonight, I won't get to celebrate Dean's birthday how I intended. So, instead, I'm taking him to get drunk because that is how he handles things. I expect you two to keep an ear out for the littles and let me know if they need anything. Got it?"
"Yes ma'am," they chorused again.
She eyed them before a slight smile graced her features. "And try not to give Krissy too much shit, okay? I'm sure she's hella embarrassed, alright?"
They both nodded and she turned on her heel before she marched down the stairs and out the door.
She made it to the Impala, and surprisingly, he was sitting in the passenger seat. Her eyebrow shot up but she got behind the wheel and reached for the ignition which already held the key. "You okay?" she inquired as she cranked the car. She closed her eyes in pleasure and a smile flitted across her face as it fired up. She did so love this damn car.
He let out a moan and she sighed before she pulled out her phone and texted Sam. "We had a shit storm when we got home. Drinks?"
Sam fired back quickly enough with; "She wants to know who fucked up Wyatt."
Ryan rolled her eyes before she responded; "His quote? 'Fucking teenagers'."
She waited only a second before Sam inquired; "Where?"
"Bunker," was all Ryan replied as she threw the car in reverse and hauled ass out of the driveway.
She reached her hand under the driver's seat and tossed Dean the bottle she knew he kept there. "You know, I don't usually condone drinking to deal with your issues, but after tonight? Screw that. I need some booze, too. And we can sleep it off at the bunker."
He looked over at her and she glanced at him. "What?"
"I fucking love you."
She chortled. "You should. I'll salvage tonight, baby, okay?"
"Thanks," he muttered as they drove.
Ryan pulled into the bunker only moments before Sam pulled in. "Do I want to know?" he asked in way of greeting.
Ryan shook her head. "Probably not."
Andy was, surprisingly, more in tune with Dean as she hurried over to him. "Who I gotta fuck up for messing up your birthday, big boy?"
"Ung," Dean moaned. "Kids. Damn kids. Why did we procreate? Why did we take any in? Why do they gotta be teenage girls?!"
At Sam's worried look, Ryan sighed. "We caught Kris and some boy in a…compromising position on the couch."
Sam's nose wrinkled and Andy's eyes widened. "And the boy was stupid enough to come home with her?!"
"That's what I said!" Dean exclaimed.
Andy shook her head as she led the way into the bunker. "Wow. What. A. Dumbass."
"Tell me about it," Dean muttered and they were off, bitching together.
Sam leaned over to Ryan as they both walked in. "You sure this is a good idea, letting them drink and bitch together?"
Ryan shrugged with a smile. "It's his birthday. I'll let them have a freebie."
Sam seemed to think about that. "Sounds good, I guess."
Ryan chortled and grabbed his hand. "May as well drink a little, too, Sam."
"I'm going to take her home after this. I had a night planned, too, you know," he grumbled.
Ryan snorted as she glanced at the two already getting out bottles, lightly arguing together. "I don't think you're gonna get it, Sam."
Three hours, four bottles, and a belching contest later, Dean and Andy were both well on their way to drunk. Ryan, who had checked in with Ben one more time, knew they weren't leaving the bunker before morning, so she drank a bit along with them. Sam nursed a beer, but other than that, was more than content to eventually go home.
"Come on, Doc, you gotta admit it, the Sig is a damn lady gun," Dean was saying, or rather, slurring.
"I can kill your ass with that lady gun," she argued at him as she swigged her drink.
"No argument, but come on. I mean, look at mine, then look at yours."
"We gonna whip 'em out, big boy? I gotta be honest, I can fuck you up with mine."
"Again, no argument, but I just…"
"Look, thundercunt, don't make me shoot your ass on principle!"
Dean blinked. "What did you just call me?!"
"You heard me, dumbass!"
"Yeah, but…what the hell?"
Andy pointed a finger at him. "Pfft, please. All the bitch you've got lurking around in there, don't tell me it's not a little bit true!"
Dean looked affronted and Sam murmured, "Okay, on that note, time to go."
Dean blinked. "She…you called me…a fucking…seriously?"
Ryan rolled her eyes. She loved him to pieces but he was an idiot. "Come on, you piss off the female version of you when she's PMSing? Wow, babe. You're dumber than you look."
Sam was trying to gather Andy up, but she would have none of it. Apparently she was just drunk enough to be pissed at Dean for his gun of choice, because she shouted, "If I ever find that damn spell that chick used on you to turn you into a chick, I'm doing it! So watch your back, Winchester! And don't think I can't find out! I know Krissy did the same spell in the other timeline. I'm sure she's itching for an excuse to use it again!"
Dean heaved out a sigh. "FINE. How do I make this square, Andy? I know! You, me, some mouthy demons just begging for it?"
"Seriously?! You wanna take me out on a hunt as an APOLOGY?!"
"If I can avoid another stint as a chick? OH YEAH."
"Sold. Let's do it."
Ryan just sat there shaking her head. "Amazing,"
Sam sighed. "Honestly, Andy, I can't believe you're agreeing to this. You'll change your mind after you've sobered up."
Andy echoed Ryan's thoughts as she turned and spouted, "I'm sorry, have you MET ME?!"
Sam shook his head. "We let it slide the first time, but seriously? You and Dean. On a hunt? Together? Again? I don't think so."
"Oh my God! What are you? My mother? Bite me! A bad idea?! Two people who have extensive experience in torturing demons? Hell, that's not a bad idea, that's…that's DISNEYLAND, pal!"
"That's my point," he muttered under his breath. Sam then turned to Dean. "Dean, seriously…surely you've got to see a repeat performance of last time is a bad idea."
"How? Me and Blackwell got a lot in common. Come on."
"Winchester, dickless!" Andy shouted.
"It's weird," Sam stated finally.
Ryan's eyebrow rose. This ought to be good.
Dean's brow furrowed. "Weird? Dude, you and Ryan are practically attached at the hip reading those damn books and talking about that fucking foreign film you wanna watch. I can have a friend, too, damn it."
"Awww! Deanie! I'm your friend?! That's awesome!" Andy gushed.
Sam shot his brother the bitchface and Ryan couldn't help but smile. Whatever Sam's issues about the two hunting together, and she had a few of her own, they did get the job done. And apparently sensing he wasn't going to win this fight, he sighed. "Can you at least wait until she's sober?"
Dean looked at Andy first. "Yes, you're my friend, but only if you never call me 'Deanie' again." He turned his gaze back to his brother. "I'll wait until she's sober if you insist, but…"
"BUT?!"
Dean held his hand up. "You know what? Never mind. On my word, she won't leave until she's stone sober."
"Thank you."
"…and less fun," Dean muttered under his breath.
"WHAT?!"
"What? Nothing."
"You two are dangerous. You need me and Ryan to ground you two."
"Party pooper!" Andy called out before taking a swig straight from the tequila bottle.
Sam walked over, picked her up, and tossed her over his shoulder. "Say goodnight, Andy. I'm taking you home."
"Oh! Sorry, Deanie! I gotta go. Sam's got his Dom voice on! Gonna have a rough night tonight. I may not be able to walk tomorrow."
"Dude. Boundaries!" Dean called after them as they walked out.
"I'm going to-o fuck your bro-other!" she sang as Sam carried her out the door.
Dean looked at Ryan. "She's your friend."
Ryan rolled her eyes and downed a shot before she stood. "Come on, big boy. Let's go to bed."
He stood there a moment before a mischievous grin lit his features. "What?" she asked.
His gaze took on a predatory glare as he stalked toward her causing her to giggle and back away. "You know," he purred, all sex, "I haven't had you on these tables in a long ass time, Ryan. You remember the last time?"
She gasped out a breath. "Our 'vacation' here, after your cure."
He nodded as he reached for her. She darted out of his way and he came after her again. "Yep. I want you. Here. Now." He caught her and began sucking her neck.
"D-Dean…they could come back…"
"We both know she's probably made him pull over on the damn side of the road by now. She's a horny drunk."
He returned to his ministrations and her hand fisted in his hair. "S-So are you…"
"Damn straight," he managed as he all but ripped her shirt from her.
"F-Fuck," she whimpered as his hands fisted both her breasts.
"If I don't have you now, I'm gonna explode, peaches."
She let out a groan. "God, yes."
She wasn't exactly sure how they wound up in the garage a few hours later. A few body shots off her, a naked game of hide-and-seek, and him plying her with more alcohol was all she knew. She smiled as she looked over at him. They were both currently in the backseat of one of the cars. "Best. Birthday. Ever." Dean murmured sleepily.
Ryan couldn't agree more.
Ryan had never done a walk of shame, but as she walked into her house that next morning, she finally knew what it felt like. Of course, Krissy was being somewhat close-lipped, but the two oldest boys let her have it. Luckily, stuff like that didn't faze her and she enjoyed joking around with the two. "Laugh it up," she stated, "But at least I, unlike others in this house, actually got laid last night."
Ben's mouth fell open before that Winchester smirk graced his features. "Go Ryan. Damn. I'm impressed."
She winked at him as she started cutting up Jon's banana.
A few hours later, found them back at the bunker. Tory was taking her turn looking after the little dudes. Since acquiring Claire, Tory had found she wanted to try her hand at being there for the girl, so, she'd benched hunting just a bit. It had been interesting, seeing her friend delving into domestic life, but Ryan had to admit, Tory had a natural ability with kids. She had even gone so far as to get a job with the local Boys and Girls Club a few days a week with at-risk kids like she had been. It had been good for her.
"Do I wanna know what you two did after we left?" Sam asked as he sat down and pulled his laptop out of its case. He sat it, and a deli wrapped sandwich on the table causing her to smile.
"Uh…about that…"
"What…?"
Dean snorted as he walked in, fresh from his workout. He didn't run, true, but he was good with the other stuff in the bunker's gym. He had just finished sweating out the last of the booze. When Ryan had walked past the door, she heard Andy hurling insults at him, so, clearly, they had decided to spar after their workouts. "I'd wipe that table off before you eat on it if I were you."
Sam glanced at the table where his turkey on rye sat, to Ryan, then Dean. "Oh, GOD YOU GUYS! On the table?!"
Ryan couldn't help the giggle. "Well, it's not like it's the first time…"
"Or the only place," Dean added with a wink.
"Fuck's sake," Sam muttered as he stood and walked out of the room. He returned a few moments later and started wiping the table down with some spray and a cloth muttering about them being lab rats.
Dean and Ryan exchanged a look and a high five. Even Ryan had to admit occasionally, Sam was a stick in the mud. "And on that note," Dean grinned. "I'm off to shower."
Ryan popped his ass as he walked past. He jumped and shot her a wink and an inappropriate hand gesture, causing her to giggle. She caught Sam looking at her. "What?"
He gave her a half smile and shook his head. "Nothing. I just…I like seeing you and him like this. And I like…" Just then, Andy came up, having obviously showered first after her sparring session with Dean and rubbed Sam's ass as she stole his seat. "I like us, too."
Ryan smiled. "I know exactly what you mean." She continued her search for anything weird until Dean returned and dropped down next to her.
"So? What you want me to fix for dinner tonight?" he asked. It was his turn.
She was about to answer when his phone rang. He frowned. "Who calls me nowadays?" They had a designated hunter's line for people calling in needing lore info and a separate number for people needing help on cases.
He pulled out his phone and smiled. "Sheriff Mills. And what do I owe the pleasure?"
Ryan smiled and turned back to her computer as Dean talked to Jody. She missed the other woman. They hadn't had much time lately to talk.
She perked up, however, when Dean said, "Yeah, alright, Jody. Sure. You know we're here to help. It's our job. Give us a few hours, we'll be there."
He hung up the phone and she asked, "What's up?"
"Jody said something's going on. Wants to know if we'll come up, check things out."
Ryan nodded. "Sure. You and Sam go on."
Dean glanced at Andy, who nodded, and said, "Me and Andy kinda thought we'd…"
"Not just 'no', Dean!" Sam all but shouted.
Dean's brow furrowed. "What? Did you mean that shit last night?"
"Yes."
"Why?" Andy wanted to know.
Sam looked to before he sighed. "Look, we gotta sort some shit out."
Ryan nodded as she pointed to first Dean, then Andy. Just because they were all getting along and she was glad Dean had a…playmate, for lack of a better word, did not mean this shit would fly twenty-four/seven. And at the moment, she was about tired of the two of them being thick as thieves. "This…this 'super secret spy club' thing you two have going? Stop it."
Dean let out a chuckle. "You guys aren't serious." He gestured to Andy, who was sitting there with her arms crossed, looking confused. "Me and her? We're having a BALL. I thought that was what you wanted."
"Yeah, Sam," Andy spoke up. "You and Ryan have a bond. Don't you want the same for me and Dean?"
Sam looked at Ryan again and whispered, "I'm kinda speechless here. How do we argue with that?!"
Ryan's jaw set. "I tell you how!" She blew a breath out, attempting at some maturity as she said, "Andy, you're like a sister to me, have been for years. And I love you. But Dean…Dean is…"
Andy glared at her. "Dean is what?"
Ryan looked down, trying to think of what to say before she blurted out softly, "He's mine." She looked up at Andy with wide eyes.
Andy squinted at her. "I couldn't hear you, Ryan. What did you say?"
Something in her snapped. "He's MINE! I HAD HIM FIRST AND I WANT HIM BACK, DAMMIT!" She blinked in surprise at her outburst. She took another calming breath. "Sorry. That's not how I meant for that to come out. I'm not trying to sound crazy…"
Sam was a bit wide-eyed as he shot her a look. "Sorry, sis. That ship sailed."
Dean nodded his head in agreement. "Yep. Cat's outta the bag on that one."
Andy didn't get angry, but she did get defensive, which, Ryan figured she probably had coming. "You know what? You've got a LOT of nerve, Ryan. All the time you and Sam have spent together, DO spend together…I've never said a word. Not ONCE. If you ask me, Dean's not the only jealously possessive one here."
"Hey!"
Andy held up a finger and told him, "Wait until I'm finished." She looked back at Ryan. "You think you've got exclusive rights to BOTH of them! Are you really so insecure that the only person you feel comfortable Dean spending his time with, other than you, is Sam?!"
Ryan opened her mouth and Andy shouted, "I'M NOT FINISHED!" She moved into Ryan's space and pointed a finger at her. "You know, a few months ago, you were wringing your hands about whether or not we'd get along, NOW you're wringing your hands because we DO. Pick. A. DAMN. Struggle!"
Ryan's fists clenched at her sides. "I'm about to."
"Bring it, cupcake."
"You better get outta my face, Blackwell."
"It's fucking Winchester, bitch!" she shouted as her fist flew.
Dean POV
He stood there, transfixed when Andy threw the first punch. But when Ryan let out some sort of battle cry and hit back, then they started trading damn blows then and there, he was stumped. "What the hell?"
"I…I don't know," Sam began.
"No, seriously, dude. What the hell?"
"I don't KNOW, Dean!"
Dean watched them a moment before he smiled. "You know, out of all the shit I've done with women…I can truthfully say, this is the first time I've been fought over."
"Me too," Sam stated, his voice sounding awestruck. "So…what should we do?"
Dean swallowed as the two women continued fighting. This was going to be a damn epic battle. Like, Godzilla and Mothra level. And it was sexy as fuck. Between the insults being slung and the fists flying, both their women were going to be hella sore when they finished.
"Dean. Dean!"
He blinked and turned his attention to his brother. "What?"
Sam sighed. "Shouldn't we step in?"
Dean contemplated that a moment. "Well, let's face it, they're chick versions of us, right?"
"Yeah."
Dean smirked. "So? How do we usually fight?"
Sam watched the two women destroying each other and he sighed. "I'll go get ice for their wounds. Can you watch them and make sure they don't actually kill each other?"
Dean stared at the girls a moment more before he nodded. "Bring back some popcorn."
Sam just rolled his eyes, shook his head, and sighed as he turned toward the kitchen.
By the time the fight petered out, both the women were bruised and bloodied. Andy had a split lip and was sporting a shiner. Ryan had a cut above her eye and a matching one on her cheek. The marquis diamond Sam had bought Andy was a weapon on Andy's hand when she punched somebody with it. Dean should know. He'd been on the receiving end of one of her blows. Sam looked at Dean and shrugged as the two women dropped down next to each other on the floor, panting.
"You done now?" he asked them. Personally, Dean thought he was an idiot for getting that close, but then he handed them both bottles of water and ice packs, so he assumed it was finished.
"Yeah, we're done," Andy stated begrudgingly.
Ryan smiled and let out a flat chuckle. Then she started belly laughing. Andy looked at her in concern a moment before she, too, began laughing. Sam and Dean exchanged concerned looks as the women hugged and continued laughing. Finally, when they'd calmed down, Ryan said, "I haven't felt this good in years. Sorry, Andy. You know I love ya, and I wouldn't trust my husband with anyone but you."
"Hell, Ryan, I've been meaning to kick your ass for some time now. Feeling's mutual. Sammy's yours when he's not mine."
"Same goes with Dean."
"So, we good?"
Ryan groaned. "Yeah. We're good."
"And the hunt?"
"You know I'll handle it."
"Yes. Thanks, Ryan."
"But this goes sideways, your privileges are revoked, got it?"
Andy nodded. "I got it." She stood and let out a groan. "Fuck. I'm too old for this shit."
"Bite my ass, bitch. You're younger than I am."
Andy laughed and held out a hand for Ryan, who took it. Once both were standing, they hugged it out a moment before Ryan sighed. "Go on. Get your gear."
Andy smirked. "Come on, Wyatt! Let's hunt!"
Dean's brows furrowed. "Huh?"
Ryan walked over to him. She was bruised. And bloody. And, damn, was he turned on as all fuck. "Go on. You and Andy hunt."
"What?!" Sam exclaimed.
Ryan grabbed Dean's face in one hand. "Go hunt with her. For now. I trust her. I trust you. Hopefully the two of you won't make any stupid decisions, but, well, hell, I'm not deluded enough to believe it. Don't do anything too stupid, alright?"
"You sure?"
"Damn it, Dean!" Andy shouted. "Move your ass, princess!"
Ryan nodded. "I'm positive. I'll handle Sam. Go on."
He pecked her lips. "You're the most awesome creature in existence."
She smiled. "I know. It's a gift."
He glanced at Andy. "Come on, Doc. Let's go get some gear packed. I got a Porterhouse in the fridge for that eye."
"You kidding? This shit was worth the price of admission. You handle the interviews though, alright?"
"Yeah. Right. People see all five feet, two inches of your bad ass, bruises and cuts and all? They're gonna spill their guts."
She smiled then winced as her lip tore a bit more. "Yeah, good point. Let's roll."
As Dean walked with Andy toward the garage, he heard Sam ask, "You sure you know what you're doing, Ryan?"
"Aw, hell, Sam, let them have fun. They won't go getting themselves killed. In trouble, yes. Killed? No. Because they know we'd bring them back just to kill them again. They'll be fine."
Dean glanced down at the scary little woman walking next to him and smiled. Yeah, he'd chosen well when he decided to accept Andy as his sister and friend.
Two nights later, they rolled back into town. The vamps were devoid of their heads, he and Andy were none the worse for wear, and Jody's town was once more locked down safe and secure. As they drove through Lebanon, Dean thought how good a damn beer would be about now. "What ya say? Hit Brothers for a nightcap?"
Andy thought a moment. "Why not? Just one though. I'd like to make it back home to Sam in the near future."
"I agree."
"Well…maybe two."
Dean smiled. "Come on, ya booze hound, let's get your drink on."
Ryan POV
"You think need to go check on them?" Sam asked of the teens currently fighting it out in the gym room.
Ryan huffed out a breath as she thought about her daughter, the angel, and the half-demon she was arguing with. "I guess so."
"You think they realize they're the closest thing to soul mates you can get when one is half a demon and the other doesn't have a soul?"
She smiled at that. She wasn't surprised Sam had picked up on it. "I think they're both too young to see it. But, they are, aren't they?"
He nodded. "Yeah. But with those powers…this could be dangerous."
She shot him a look. "Last time I checked, 'dangerous' was kind of our motto around here."
"Can a motto be one word?"
She forwent the look and shot him a bitchface instead. He chuckled. "Shutting up now."
"You heard from Andy?"
He nodded. "They got the monsters a little while ago. She said Dean was driving so he wasn't going to text."
"Smart man."
"You weren't worried, were you?"
"About them killing the monsters? No."
"I'll be glad when they're home."
She would be, too, but this hunt was on her, her and the stupid fight she'd gotten into with Andy. They had deserved to go out after that. "You didn't mind did you?" At his confused look, she continued. "Well…I mean, I kind of usurped you and sent them off and usually we talk about this kind of thing and…"
"Ryan, it's fine. Trust me. The two of them will be fine. They are fine. Why are you worried now, when they're on their way home?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I just…" She sighed. Life was going too good, that's what it was. Her life had been one long ass roller coaster ride and she'd been climbing to the top for a long time now. It was about time the ground fell out from under her feet.
"Ryan." She hadn't realized Sam had stood up and walked over to her until she felt his hands on her arms. "Look, seriously, don't do that. Not now."
"I can't…" She tried to take a breath, but all of a sudden, she felt it, the panic attack building. She hadn't had one in forever, so it was a shock when her body started shaking.
"Okay, okay, I got ya," he said. She felt him leading her to a chair and helping her sit down. She felt his hands rubbing her arms and he gently put her head down between her knees, urging her to breathe until finally, she felt some of the calm returning and her heart rate go back down. She lifted her head and looked into his concerned hazel eyes. "Better?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "How many times you gonna help me through a panic attack?"
He smiled. "It's kind of my job, Ryan. Honorary brother and all…"
She blinked and shook her head. "I don't…I don't know where that came from."
"Sometimes it just happens, Ryan. It's fine. That's what I'm here for."
She reached out and hugged him. "Thank you," she whispered.
He patted her back and then pulled away. "So, you good?"
She bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah. Lock it up, right?"
He shook his head. "No. You need a few more minutes, you know I will never have a problem with that. We're the crazy ones, right?"
She laughed at that. "Yeah, I guess so."
"You want to go check on the kids or you want me to?"
"I'll do it. Thanks, Sam. Really." She stood and when she thankfully didn't sway, she walked down the hall. It was quiet now, too quiet. She walked down the hall slowly and that's when she heard the two talking. She smiled, thankful they were using their words, but when she heard what they were saying, she stopped dead.
"So…what? We're…dating?" she heard Jesse ask.
"Yes?" Hope answered in way of question. "None of those skanks at school better not have their hands on you."
"Only if you quit with the douchebags."
"Me?"
"Gideon. Leo. Mark. Chris. How many others?"
"They were a means to an end," she murmured.
Ryan knew she probably didn't need to be listening to this, but she couldn't stop herself. It wasn't every day your first born found the love of their existence and acted on it.
Jesse's voice was so soft, she almost didn't hear as he asked, "Did they…were they…"
"This. This is as far as they've gone. I haven't…I knew I couldn't…I wasn't ready for that, okay? I'm not enough like him, like Ben for that. Not yet."
Ryan heard him blow out a breath and she joined him. Finding out your child still held on to their virginity was enough to make any mother breathe a sigh of relief.
"Okay. Good. I mean, not that I cared, but…" He trailed off.
Hope was quiet a moment before she whispered, "So, you either, huh?"
"Timing wasn't right. I want it to be with someone I love. And if it didn't happen, it didn't happen. I mean, I'm normal enough, I think, I just…"
Ryan swallowed hard as she heard the definite sounds of kissing. She gave them a few moments before she knew she needed to make her presence known. She walked to the end of the hall and flickered the lights a few times. She started walking down the hall once more and heard Hope giggle.
Ryan propped herself against the doorjamb. "Are you two done?"
Jesse was alone in the room. His face turned bright red at being caught. "Ryan…"
She held up a hand. "The writing was on the wall for this one, sugar. It's fine."
"But she's…I'm…"
Ryan smiled. "Young and in love?"
"I don't know. Maybe?" His eyes widened. "What do you know? What did you hear?"
"Enough," she told him with a wink. She couldn't be more thrilled about this latest development. She knew Hope had a finite time on earth. To find someone to love while she was here? It was everything she could want for her daughter. "It's fine. Same rules go as for Ben, okay? You two have to continue with your schoolwork, I'll keep a close eye on how much time you spend together, and…I won't tell Dean. Not yet."
"You won't?"
She closed one eye in thought a moment. She hadn't meant to say it, but at the same time, she knew it needed saying. Dean definitely didn't need to know about this. Not yet. She had noticed him warming up to Jesse, but there was something about Jess that rubbed her husband the wrong way. She didn't think it was the fact the kid was part demon. As a matter of fact, she was fairly certain it was because Dean could sense the fact Hope was into Jesse as more than just an adopted brother. "This between you two? It's so new. And he's…he doesn't know how to be a father to a daughter. Not a teenage one. I know you're a good guy, Jess. You'll do right by her. But I'm not naïve, either. The two of you have to be careful, alright? And while I won't tell him the two of you are together, you still need to be cautious."
"Why?"
She told him the truth. "Because he doesn't know how to be a father to her, he may damage what they have if he reacts badly to this. I'll condition him, but don't flaunt it, either, okay? It's nothing personal. No one is going to be good enough for her. Remember that, and you'll be fine. But, ah, a word to the wise? Start making a tad more effort to show him you are good enough, alright?"
"But, I'm not, am I?"
What would it take for him to realize how good he really was? She crossed to him and hugged him. "You're a great guy, Jesse. I wouldn't give you my blessing if I thought you would hurt her. Truthfully, I'm much more worried about her hurting you."
"Me? How?"
She chose her words carefully. "Winchesters are awesome creatures, Jesse. They love unconditionally, but they're notoriously self-sacrificing. It's not out of the realm of possibility for her to do something stupid for someone she loves. And that can lead to disaster for the people that love them. Just…remember, they tend to lead with their hearts, not their heads."
He nodded. "Okay."
She smiled. "But go have fun. Forget the angel and demon crap. Enjoy this. Carefully. Cautiously. Because I'm still watching. And I'll bust both of your heads if you hurt one another."
He chuckled. "Yes ma'am."
"Go on. I'll drive home. Poof yourself back there."
He was insulted. "I'm a demon. We don't 'poof' anywhere."
Her eyebrow rose. "Then what do you call it?"
"I…"
She grinned. "Exactly. "Poof home, boy."
He was about to go, when he stopped. "You may want to hurry. I might have left Ben and Krissy in a…let's say odd position."
Her eyebrow rose and he rubbed his neck. "I, uh, may have left them in a Wolverine and Cat Woman suit to settle their shit."
She crossed her arms at him again. Did she even want to know?
He sighed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm about 0 and 2 tonight. I'll fix it."
She shook her head. "Those two…I don't know what to say about them."
"The writing is on the wall with them, too, isn't it?"
She smiled at that. "Winchesters love. And they love fiercely. Ben is one, whether he takes the name or not."
He winced. "I'll head back now, see what kind of damage is going on. Hopefully not too bad…"
"My kids are asleep in that house, Jesse Turner," she stated in way of warning. "You go check them. Personally."
He nodded. "Yes ma'am," he murmured as he winked out of sight.
She blew out a breath. "Fabulous," she muttered. Keeping secrets didn't do anyone any good, but in that same token, she knew she couldn't tell Dean this. Not yet. He's shit kittens. She walked back into the war room and dropped into a chair.
"They okay?" Sam asked.
She nodded. "Yeah. They both went home."
"Powers and hormones are a bad combo."
Ryan snorted. "No kidding." Her eyes widened. "Did you…?"
He smiled. "I may have walked down the hall to check on you."
She groaned.
"For what it's worth? I think not telling Dean is a good idea. For now. You know how the princess blows everything out of proportion."
She groaned again.
"Don't tell him for now. I won't either. I promise."
"Thanks, Sam."
He stood. "You think we should go home now?"
"Yeah, after a minute. I want to check one more thing," she stated as she looked at her laptop once more. "I think this is a vetala in Daytona."
Sam pondered a moment. "Florida?"
She nodded.
"Truck stops? Interstates? Yeah, it would be good hunting grounds."
"What you got?"
He sat once more as well. "Werewolf in Idaho. I'm going to put Garth's people on it."
She yawned and nodded. "Sounds good."
They worked in silence a few minutes more before Sam's phone rang. Ryan happened to be closer to it and snatched it up. "Sammy! Your girl is fucking AWESOME!"
Ryan blinked. "Dean?!" He sounded about three sheets to the wind. "My god, how much did you drink? Honestly, I didn't think you were physically capable of getting drunk anymore! Where are you?"
Dean was laughing hysterically and apparently dropped the phone because Andy picked it up. "Ryan? HEY GIRL! Thanks for letting us do this. Really. Deano is…" Ryan overheard her ask Dean, "Deano, that's better than Deanie, right?"
"Much!" Dean yelled back.
"Kay. So, anyway, Ry, you should have SEEN him! I've never seen a knife used that way." She laughed. "Bastard's gonna feel that in the morning."
"How can he?!" Dean shouted. "Dude's missing his head!"
"Ah, yeah," Andy added. "Good point, Deano! Good point! Anyway, your dude is kick ass. And I'm kick ass. And it's all good."
Ryan had, during the exchange, put the phone on speaker so Sam could listen in. "Andy? ANDY!" Sam yelled. "ANDREA!"
"Man, Chill!" Dean stated as he got back on the line gain. "Are you allergic to fun or something?" He cleared his throat. His tone was half serious as he said, "Dude, seriously, I, I promise…we'll come home straight, k? I'll watch out for her. She'll watch out for me…"
"THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF!" Sam roared.
"What exactly do you think we're gonna do? Start a bar fight or something?" They heard him whisper to Andy, "You know, that's not a half bad idea…"
Dean must have sat the phone down because Ryan heard, "Andy, see those two noobs over there? Playing pool? On your left. No! Your other left! Think they've ever been hustled before?"
"Who gives a shit, right?" Andy answered. "HEY! Pal! Care to make the game a little more interesting?"
Sam and Ryan exchanged a look when they heard Dean giggling and murmur, "Alright. Let's do this."
They continued to stare at one another as they heard distant talking, the clacking of pool balls, and the usual bar sounds for a minute or two. Ryan could almost see Andy's play. She was tiny, yes, but she had an arm on her. And that arm could sink about eight balls with one break. Oddly enough, she was even better when she was drunk. Ryan put her head in her hand but continued to watch the phone with rapt attention.
That was when they heard Dean; "Listen, jackass, no one twisted your arm here. You shouldn'ta made the bet…WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!"
Ryan's eyes widened as they cut to Sam's as Andy's voice shouted, "Don't let him talk to ya that way, Deano! Yeah, as a matter of fact, my bark IS worse than my bite!" The sound of glass breaking led Ryan to assume Andy had just broken a beer bottle. "Why? You feeling froggy, asshat?!"
That was when Ryan heard Dean's deep timbre, "You take another step toward her, I'll shove this pool stick up your ass."
Ryan picked up the phone as she stood. Sam grabbed his jacket, and they raced out into the night. This shit was going down. Now. "Where are they?"
Sam checked the GPS on his phone. Ryan didn't even want to know how he found them so quick. "They came home. They're at Brother's."
Ryan let out a growl as she tossed the keys to Sam and he tore ass out into the night.
By the time they got there, the fight was in full swing. Luckily, both she and Sam were well versed in ending bar fights. You couldn't go hunting with Tory and Andy and not get into a few. Usually it involved barflies and their skanks, but none the less. Gina, too, had stepped in, with the help of her baseball bat she had lovingly named after Negan's from The Walking Dead. Luckily it was devoid of barbed wire. But that didn't mean it hurt any less.
"Sorry I had to take him out," Gina started as she led Ryan over to Dean where he was currently nursing a beer with an icepack to his head.
Ryan pulled a wad of cash out of her pocket and started shoving it Gina's way. It was some money she kept in the glove compartment of the Falcon for emergencies. "God, Gina, I'm so damn sorry. This should cover the broken pool table. And the bottles of booze. And the…how the hell did someone actually break a toilet?"
Gina held up a hand. "It's my own damn fault. I knew I should have called you when they walked in with fire in their eyes and itching for a fight. They twins or something? They sure do act alike."
Ryan hung her head and sighed. "I KNOW. And, yeah, they might as well be. Sam and I are still trying to figure out if that's a good thing or not."
"Can I be honest?" Gina asked. Ryan nodded. "The two guys they were mixing it up with? They've been trying to cause trouble since they first showed up about a month ago. Guess they finally met their match. They'll never show up here again, thanks to Thing One and Thing Two. So after you're done tearing them a new one? Tell 'em thanks from me. Sober them up, bring them by for a burger. On the house. And quit apologizing. I got one just like him," she stated as she gestured her head toward Dean, who was now groaning lightly. "We are GOOD."
She glanced over at Sam, who was berating Andy. Obviously there was still fight in her blood, because she wasn't listening to a damn word he was saying. Finally, Ryan supposed he'd had enough of it and hauled her over his shoulder, again. She was struggling and screaming, "Put me DOWN!" She threw her own beer bottle at the door. "Let that dickbag say that to my face! I'll split his head open! See if he's smirking THEN!"
Ryan turned to see Dean stand, laughing. "That's it, Doc! Tell that little shit!"
She closed her eyes and groaned as she heard Sam stomp toward his brother. "Never again, you hear me? NEVER!"
Ryan looked up as Andy tried to look up over Sam's shoulder. "C'mon, babe! Not fair!"
"Shut up!" he yelled.
"Look, man," Dean began in obvious way of explanation, "She started it, okay? I was handling it."
"He's right, Sammy. This one's on meeee…" Andy whined.
"Really, Dean?" Sam began, sarcasm all but dripping from his voice and the bitchface out in full force. He ignored Andy, who was still draped across his shoulder, as he invaded his brother's personal space. "How exactly were you 'handling' it?! What? Just gonna wait until 5-0 showed and call us from a cell?! Dammit, I TRUSTED you with her!" He turned on his heel and walked out into the night. Ryan opened her mouth to say something to Dean, but he marched out after his brother.
Ryan sighed, left the stack of cash on the bar, and walked out after them. Andy must have managed to talk Sam into putting her down, because she saw the smaller woman slap Sam's face. "You, sir, are a TOTAL buzzkill!" She stumbled to the Falcon and collapsed into the passenger seat.
Ryan saw the fight brewing between the brothers. She'd been privy to enough of them. She stepped in between them and got in Dean's space. This thing got so out of proportion, it needed to be handled before they thought this was something they could just do on a damn whim. "You are in for the biggest ass-chewing of your life, buddy."
"Me? Why?"
She held her arms out. "Look at what you two did! You did exactly what Sam and I were worried about."
"We were FINE, Ryan! God! Don't be such a damn MOM!"
Her mouth fell open. "MOM? You're thinking I'm acting like a MOM?! Just wait until I ground YOUR ass, and then you'll know EXACTLY what it feels like!"
He leaned back, crossed his arms, set his jaw, and murmured, "BRING. IT."
A half smile graced her lips. "Oh no," she told him with a head shake. "I know better. I talk to you now? It goes in one ear, out the other, without the pleasure of it even stopping in your memory banks. Nah-uh. I'm biding my time. Until morning. When you're good and hung over."
His confidence seemed to falter a bit as he turned and walked toward the Impala. "FYI, you're not the only one with a PH.D in torture, asshole!" she shouted after him.
She sighed and glanced up at Sam. "Well? What are we going to do, Sam? I'm legit clueless."
"Let's just…let's get them home. We'll deal with it in the morning. They can't hunt alone together again, that's for damn sure."
She hated it, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She knew the two were good for each other. It was the booze that was the problem. But he was right. "No shit, Sherlock."
"Fuck you, Watson. I don't see you coming up with any brilliant ideas."
"Oh yeah? Fine! You're so smart, you tell me. How do you tell the two most pig-headed people on the fucking planet they CAN'T do something?! Dean tried telling ME what to and we all know how THAT turned out!"
Sam blew out a breath. "To tell you the truth, I'm more scared of Andy than Dean."
"Exactly my point! Like trying to baptize a cat, Sammy. Only this time, she's got her guard dog backing her up."
Sam shrugged, then his eyes widened. "Give them sex…feed them…"
"Get in their good graces, make our case?" Ryan finished. They shared a fist bump. "Call me later?"
"Yeah, after I get the wildcat in bed."
She snorted. "You start singing from High School Musical? I'm forgetting I know you."
"Fuck off, Ryan."
She winked at him then walked to the Impala. She went to the driver's seat and slid in. She chanced a glance at her husband. "You alive over there, Deano?"
He let out a groan. "My head hurts."
"That's what happens when you act like a douchebag."
"Was Gina ever a softball player? Because she's got one hell of an arm on her. I think she split my skull in two."
Ryan rolled her eyes. "I didn't know you turned into a whining bitch when you get drunk."
His eyes widened as he looked at her before he smiled. "Okay. That's fair."
She rolled her eyes and drove them home. She parked the car in the driveway and walked around to his side of the car. "You okay to walk, or you need help, Tonto?"
"Shut up, I'm fine," he growled as he stood. And weaved.
She sighed and slipped her body under his arm. "Okay, let's go. One foot in front of the other." She walked him up the steps to the door where it was snatched open.
"Fuck you, Ben! Fuck you!" Krissy yelled as she tore ass past them to her jeep.
Ryan glanced toward the vehicle only seconds before Hope tore out after her, muttering under her breath. Ryan let out a groan and Dean muttered. "Rys? Am I still drunk, or did Krissy run outta here wearing a Cat Woman suit?"
She sighed. "You're still drunk. And Krissy ran out of here wearing a Cat Woman suit." She glanced around and saw Ben dressed as Wolverine. She held up a hand as he began talking. "Silence. I don't want to deal with you tonight. I've got enough on my plate. I'll handle you four in the morning." She narrowed her eyes at Jesse. "Fixed it, did you?"
He shrugged bashfully. She rolled her eyes for the millionth time that evening and helped Dean up the stairs.
"I love you, Ryan. Have I told you lately? I really, reeeeeeallllly do…"
Her eyebrows shot up as she leaned back just slightly so she didn't get a contact high from the alcohol on his breath. "My god, Dean, exactly HOW much did you have to drink tonight?!"
He giggled as they broached their bedroom door. "Me and Do came up with a new motto tonight." He took a step back, stood straight and put his right hand over his heart, stumbled, then finally recited in a slurred voice, "Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better safe than sober." He doubled over in laughter then.
Ryan groaned as she moved to him and made him sit on the bed. "Come on, you raging alkie."
"Peaches, I resemble that remark."
She pulled off one of his boots. "Damn straight you do," she deadpanned.
"I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I'm…a drunk. We go to parties," he managed before erupting into laughter again. He must have caught the expression on Ryan's face before he muttered, "Would it kill you to loosen up a little? Buzzkill." He pulled his phone from his pocket.
"Who are you calling?"
"Doc," he replied with a pout. "SHE likes me, drunk or not!"
"Oh, I'm sure she does, the damn enabler," Ryan seethed as she snatched the phone and stuck it in her back pocket.
"Hey!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure Sam is killing her buzz as we speak." She continued taking his boots and socks off. "And in the morning? Me and 'Doc' are gonna have a little chat." She was pissed. She and Andy just hashed this shit out, didn't they? Her damn face still hurt from their fight, and this is how Andy repaid her? By getting Dean so damn lit he couldn't even walk?! Oh, yeah, she would be punching her supposed best friend in the face again for this one. "And furthermore," she spat, "Do you really wanna saddle yourself with a label like 'drunk'? I've seen those guys, Dean. You don't want to be them! You don't want your CHILDREN being ashamed of their dad, the DRUNK."
He groaned and fell back onto the bed. "Come on! It's all in good fun, babe! Man, you really are a buzzkill."
"Damn straight I am! You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves! You're fucking GROWN UPS for Christ's sake!"
"You're just sore she kicked your ass."
Her jaw set. "The ass kicking was mutual and you and Sam should both be ashamed of yourselves for taking bets on us in the first place."
He looked up at her and smirked. "That shit was better than any boxing match on pay per view, lemme tell ya."
She just put her head in her hands and sighed. It was going to be a long damn night.
Sam POV
Sam, on the other hand, was trying to make his inebriated wife understand why what she and Dean did was wrong. It wasn't working out quite like he'd hoped…he'd been attempting to talk some sense into her for the better part of an hour. The whole drive home, and to the point they were finally at in their living room. "THIS is why I didn't want you and Dean going on a hunt together! I KNEW something like this would happen. I hope you're proud of yourself, Andrea. You and Dean made real asses of yourselves tonight."
Andy stood from the couch, blinked lazily, then scowled as she finally remarked, "You done, DAD?! Honestly. Do you EVER come up for air once you get going? Your gums are flapping, but all I hear is," She made a puppet out of her hand. "Blah. Blah. BLAH."
He pressed his lips together. "Nice. Very adult of you."
"Oh, SCREW adult!" Andy yelled as she stumbled toward him. A slow smile appeared on her face as she ran a finger up and down his chest. "We are adults, I'll give ya that. And you know what that means? It means I could knock your ass to the ground, fuck your brains out all damn night long and nothing could stop us. We're grown ups, yeah, but we ain't responsible for anyone, yet, but us! Let's live a little, Sam!" He crossed his arms and shot her a disapproving glare.
She sighed and pointed a wavy finger. "Y'know what y'need? Scotch." She nodded. "Scotch'll do the trick. That'll get ya all nice and relaxed. Then me and you goin' get freaky." She headed toward the door. "I'mma see if Wyatt's carrying. He'll help me remove that stick from your ass. Not literally, cuz, ew, but figuratively, ya know?"
"Like hell," Sam countered as he threw her over his shoulder once more and headed toward their bedroom. "Time to sleep it off."
"What? NOOOO! I don't wanna!" She hung her head and whined. "Why don't you go and bore someone else?" When Sam remained silent as he walked them up the stairs to their room, she added, "Everybody's getting all bent outta shape 'cause me and Wyatt let out hair down. Bunch funless do-gooders…"
Sam laid her on the bed, then turned to walk out of the room. He stopped and turned, though, when he heard, "Wyatt doesn't mind me this way…why do you?"
His jaw set as he turned back toward her. "Because 'Wyatt' doesn't have the luxury of coming home to THIS," he remarked sarcastically with a gesture toward her. "But believe me, he's gonna get a fucking EARFUL come morning."
She struggled to a sitting position and just looked at him. "Why, Sam?! Why you wanna change me so bad, huh? Don't you get it?! I'm not HER!"
That took him back a step and he blinked. "Who?"
"PICK ONE! I'm not Jess! I'm not Amelia! I'm not RYAN! You picked ME, Sam! This is who I am! SO if I'm not what you need, for the love of GOD just say it!"
His mouth fell open before he snapped it shut and drove a breath out of his nose. "You think I give TWO SHITS if you're drunk, Andy?! You think I care that you and Dean make asses of yourselves? Hell, go out on a TEAR if you want! But be fucking SAFE about it! Because if you got killed I couldn't…" He stopped as he got chocked up. "I couldn't, okay? I love you. So fucking much."
She covered her face with her hands and started crying. Sam couldn't help the eye roll at her high pitched howl. "Iloveyoutooooooo…"
He sighed, sat down on the bed, and wrapped an arm around his nuttier than a fruitcake wife. "Try to get some sleep," he suggested in a soothing tone as he laid her back and pulled the covers over her. "We can talk in the morning, alright?"
She nodded and a sweet smile graced her features as he smoothed her hair. She drifted off almost immediately.
His face turned to stone as he left the room and dialed Ryan's number. He pressed the phone to his ear and waited for her to answer. When he heard the line open, he didn't wait for her to say anything as he ground out, "Ryan? Tell your husband, his ass? It's MINE."
"Uh, excuse me, bitch?! Are you shitting me? Your wife is about to get ANOTHER beat down from me!" came her vicious retort.
"Your husband has brainwashed her! Now she's going on about not being good enough for me and I'm not fun enough and how she'd prefer to hang out with him. And THEN she goes on comparing herself to Jess and Am-"
"YEAH!?" she interrupted. "Well, Dean informed me how his enabler likes him drunk off his ass and how I'm a fucking buzzkill!"
Sam blew a breath out of his nose. "Okay. Wait. We have to be better than them. Smart than them. We can't stoop to their levels of asshattery." The other end of the line was silent. "Ryan?"
"Yeah. Alright. I guess. But, Jesus, Sam, this is some serious shit. I don't wanna keep them away from each other. Hell, they are like two sides to the same damn coin or duplicate coin or something. But I'm…" she sighed. "How should we play this?"
"Threats won't work. They'll dig themselves in like ticks if we do."
"WHAT THEN!?" she cried.
A slow smile spread across his face. It was evil. And it would hurt all of them. But in the end, the message would get across. Ryan, obviously hearing the wheels turning in his head, asked, "Sam, what are you cooking up?"
"It's, God, it's playing dirty, Ryan. But this IS Dean and Andy we're talking about." He sighed. "Ryan, we gotta hit them where it hurts."
She gasped. "You don't mean…"
"'Fraid so, sis," he stated glumly.
"Christ, Sam, that's hitting ME where it hurts! Sex is at the top of the list of Dean's damn skill set!"
He sighed. "Not that I needed to hear that, but I feel you. Believe me, I do. But…"
"Stubborn fuckers won't balk at anything else," Ryan finished.
"Exactly."
She was quiet a moment. "I don't know, Sam. I mean, it seems wrong…controlling Dean with sex."
"Don't think of it that way. Think of it as…manipulating the situation to your favor."
"How is that not…"
"Fine," he ground out. "You thought of something better, have you? Please, share with the class."
"No need to get snarky, Sam."
He sighed. "Look, how many repeats of tonight can YOU take? Frankly, I'm one bad decision away from giving my two weeks' notice and heading to all points nowhere."
He waited a moment and then he heard Ryan giggle. "Ryan?" His eyes widened as she let out a shriek, followed by sounds of a struggle. "RYAN!?"
That was when he heard Dean's voice singing, "I wanna run through your wicked garden, heard that's the place to find ya…"
Ryan laughed throatily, then was breathless as she came back to the phone. "Sorry, Sam…I was…you still there?"
He scowled. "God, don't tell me…"
"Sorry, Sammy. He brought out STP. And this man knows what Stone Temple Pilots does to me. All bets are off until tomorrow."
"Way to be a damn rock, Ryan!"
"I…oh, God, Dean, stop, honey. For the love of…" she panted out a breath. "Fuck, give me five seconds, sugar, to finish my conversation…"
"You know you want this, baby," Dean purred and Sam's lip curled.
"Ryan!" he shouted into the phone once more.
"Sorry," she muttered as she came back on the line. "But if this is going to be our play, then I'll be damned if I let your brother have anything but his way tonight. Alcohol renders him brainless, I'll give you that, but it also makes him an absolute BEAST in the-"
Sam punched the "END" button on his phone so fast, he was afraid he cracked the screen. "No, just…NO."
That was when he heard Andy from their bedroom. "Sam? Sammmmmyyyy…I'm taking off my clothes. Would you come help me?"
He clenched his phone so hard he felt sure he dented the damn thing as he walked back into their room. He swallowed hard as he took her in. She was down to nothing but her underwear and a smile. "Well? What'cha say, baby?" she purred.
"Fuck it," he muttered as he moved to the bed.
She let out a giggle as he pounced.
Dean POV
Consciousness came. Complete with the headache from hell, the mouth that tasted like ass, and the full body aches. He groaned as he realized he was at home. On his bed. He felt like shit. Mental note; kill Doc. Then coffee. So much coffee. He groaned again. I think that's your liver screaming at you, dickwad, he thought.
He blinked in the bright sunlight and turned to Ryan's side of the bed. She was sitting there, reading. Wearing…hell, was that some new lingerie? "Uh…morning, babe."
She smiled over at him. "Good morning, sugar. Need some aspirin? Water? Anything?"
"Uh…yeah. Sure."
She gave a little nod, stood, and he watched her walk to the bathroom. Under that sheer baby doll number, he noticed she was wearing a thong. Ryan hated thongs. Something was definitely up. Only he was still too hungover to figure out what.
She returned and sat next to him, still smiling, almost eerily, as she handed him the drugs and glass of water. "Why don't you take a shower? Get the smell of the booze and sex off you. I'll be waiting," she purred with a wink.
His eyes narrowed as he tried to figure her game. "Okay. Am I dead again? Or still drunk? What happened to the screaming? The yelling? The telling my ass off for being a dumbass? None of that? Really?"
She shrugged. "I figured there was no point arguing about it. You're going to do whatever the hell you want, anyway. Then you'll get yourself killed. I just figured I'd enjoy the sex as much as I can until you die."
Dean chuckled flatly. "You really think that's gonna work? We both know I ain't dying, not anytime soon, so…"
"Fine then," she bit out as she stood and straddled one of his legs. She grabbed his hair and pulled his head back. She bit his neck, then breathed into his year, "Wonder which will kill you first? The job?" She glared at him as she grabbed his hand and shoved it down the front of her panties. "Or knowing that you will never, EVER get another whiff of this if you try pulling a stunt like that again?"
His mouth fell open. He was, for once in his life, speechless.
She smirked. "Take your time. You look like you've got a lot of thinking to do. I bribed Tory to take the littles to her house. The older kids are in school. If you need me? I'll be at the bunker."
He watched her turn on her heel and walk out of the room. He blinked once, twice, then muttered to himself, "I am so screwed."
He showered. He dressed. He walked downstairs to find the house completely empty, but God love her, Ryan had left the coffee pot going for him. He poured his big ass Batman mug full of coffee and rummaged around for food. That was when he heard the door open. He didn't even have to turn around. He knew who it was. "Tell me I'm not the only one cock blocked."
"Cunt blocked, more like, and yes. And the worst part? I don't remember half of doing it last night!"
Dean couldn't remember much of last night, either. He remembered hands, lips, a blur of bodies and motion, but the rest was absent from his memory banks. It was damn sad, that's what it was. He poured her a cup of coffee in her Black Widow mug the kids bought her to keep there and handed it to her. "Same here."
Andy sighed as she took the cup. "Just think about it, Dean. You know how much you like sex, right?"
He nodded. It came in even before hunting. And he thoroughly enjoyed ridding a damn vamp of its head.
"You know how good it feels when you finally blow your load?"
He was still drunk enough to smile and get that far-off feeling. "Yeah…" he breathed. He could use a little bit more of that at the moment, actually.
"Well, imagine that over and over in one session and you've got what I'm facing here."
He let out a low whistle. "Damn. I'm so sorry."
"Nah, not your fault. It takes two to fuck up this brilliantly, Deano."
"So…now what?"
She grimaced. "So now we suck it up and be grown ups?"
He shot her a look. "And exactly what is the fun in that?"
She shrugged. "True. But at least we'll be getting laid."
He didn't have a comeback for that. They both sat and stared at one another for a few minutes. "I may agree with the fact we didn't behave like we should last night, but, Andy, I'll be damned if I roll over for them like the damn dog."
She looked at the dog in question who was currently sleeping in a patch of sunlight on the linoleum floor. Canis had become a part of the family. Everyone loved him. Even Ryan. "I don't know. Dogs have it pretty damn good. Food whenever you whine, belly rubs, doing whatever the fuck you want, when you want…"
"We had his balls cut off."
She snorted. "Well, hell, Ryan's got yours in a vice, as-is. Not seeing a downside at the mo, bro."
He sighed. "We can't let them know they won."
Her eyebrow rose. "We ever have sex with them again, the damn ship sailed, dude."
He growled.
"Face facts, Dean. We got outplayed on this one. And truthfully? We deserve it."
He sighed again as his head fell back. "Fine," he exclaimed. He brought his head back up to look at her. "But they try to keep us apart…"
She smiled. "I don't think they mind us spending time together. It's the booze they have issues with."
He looked at her. He really did enjoy spending time with her. They liked all the same movies and games and shit, and she was a good hunting buddy. The things she could do with a knife, well, it was like watching art. "So, no booze?"
"You and I both know we can't say that."
"Fine. Less booze?"
She seemed to roll that one around in her head. "Better."
"So, we got a plan?"
"Yeah. They at the bunker?"
He nodded. "Probably."
She sighed. "Fine. Let's do it."
When they walked into the bunker about twenty minutes later, it was with a peace offering. They had needed breakfast, and Dean knew Ryan liked those fancy coffees from the coffee shop that opened up the month before. And Sam liked those green tea whatevers, so they got their spouses stuff that would make them happy. Well, happier, in any case. He and Andy walked into the bunker, and when both their significant others ignored their entrance, shared a look.
Andy cleared her throat. "So, uh, we're dumbasses."
Sam snorted, but remained silent.
"We weren't using our brains for good last night," Dean tacked on. When Sam and Ryan still ignored them, Dean shouted, "COME ON! We get it, okay?"
Ryan lifted her head to look at him. "Do you? Do you really? Because we aren't sure you do."
"Seriously?! You're going to unite a front against us on this?"
Sam nodded. "You're damn right we are. You two acted like idiots. You got drunk, started shit, and trashed a friend's joint!"
Dean winced. He'd forgotten they'd fucked up Gina's place. He'd pay penance for that one, he knew it. She was one chick he didn't want to mess with. He wouldn't put it past her to figure out how to turn him into a chick.
He glanced at Andy, who said, "So, look, we get it, alright? We were stupid. Fine. We accept that. And we'll…we'll try to cut down on the booze. Life's not a kegger. We aren't at a frat party…"
He shot her a glare. She was edging toward Sarcasm City and that was going to take them to No Fucking Wayville. She cleared her throat and shrugged. "So, cutting back on the booze, we'll do that. But don't…don't take our hunts away from us. Please?"
Sam sighed and Ryan looked from one to the other of them. "You two are pathetic."
He and Andy exchanged another glance. "Tell me something I don't know," he stated as he looked at his wife.
Ryan sighed and looked over at Sam. "Well?"
He leaned back and crossed his arms. "This isn't just about you two drinking together and having a good time. This is serious shit. If anyone else did this, anyone else in our network, you think we'd let them off with just a slap on the wrist? Thank God it was here in town. What if we hadn't been able to get to you? Think of all the damn times that impala has been impounded. There but by the grace of God has no one inventoried it. If they found all our weapons, all this shit…we've got to be smart, you two. And when you're on the booze, brains go out the damn window!"
Dean winced again. It was worse than he thought. They were bringing out the big guns. Guilt for the job, too? Cold.
"Probation," Ryan told them softly. "You two are on probation."
"WHAT?!" Andy cried.
"It's for your own good," Sam told her, and Dean could almost hear sorrow in his brother's voice. "We'd do it for the kids, you know we would. I think a little cooling your heels will be good for you and you two make such exemplary role models…"
Dean wasn't sure if he was being a sarcastic ass, or if he meant it.
"We've got a possible vetala in Florida. Sam and I are leaving in an hour. You two can handle things while we're gone, right?"
"Florida?"
Ryan nodded. "Daytona Beach. And who knows? After the monster is dead? We may decide to chill out on the beach for a day or two. Take a little mental health break."
"The two of you? Together?"
The other two exchanged a look and nod before Sam said, "Yeah, we need a break from your shenanigans and Ryan could use some sun and relaxation on the beach. She really needs a few days from the monsters she lives with. All of them. Sounds fair, don't you agree, Dean?"
Dean ground his teeth together. "Not the red bikini."
Ryan's smirk was evil. "Oh yeah. The red bikini."
"God damn it!"
She shrugged. "It's only for a few days, a week, tops. You and your wonder twin over there can hold down the fort while we're gone, can't you?"
He was speechless. To his surprise, Andy spoke up. "Awww, hell, Wyatt, they got a point. We can do it. We are, after all, well and truly screwed. I guess I could use the practice, anyway. I'm a hell of a hunter already. A parent, not so much."
Sam paled. "You…you're not…"
Andy rolled her eyes. "Oh, chill, Sam. I'm smart enough not to get shit faced if I'm knocked up, which I never have been, thank you very much. But, uh, one day, right?"
Sam's face broke into the biggest smile Dean had seen in a long time as his brother stood and snatched Andy up, hugging her for all he was worth before planting a damn kiss on her that would make a porn star blush. "Oh my God. Andy! Seriously?! This is NOT how we do things?"
"Oh, is that a fact?" Ryan wanted to know as she sauntered over, her eyes narrowing at him.
He held up both hands. "Well, I mean, that's not how THEY work." He slipped an arm around her waist. "Me and you, on the other hand…"
"I'm still pissed at you, Dean." Her voice was soft, hurt, and that cut him deeper than just about anything else.
"You should be," he admitted. He'd been an idiot. It wasn't the first time. It damn sure wasn't going to be the last. He smiled though. He was still drunk enough to be hornier than a damn billy goat. "Why don't you take me home and teach me a lesson?"
There was fire in her eyes as she said, "You want a lesson? Here's one; do this to me again? I'll cut your junk off. Slowly. With a spoon." She patted his face and walked away.
"That ain't a 'no' peaches!" he called after her.
She turned then. "If we started now, I'm afraid I'd be too rough and hurt you for real." She smiled. "But if you wanna spar, see if you can beat this anger out of me, be my guest."
He eyed her speculatively. He was still too damn hungover for that. She'd kick his ass for sure. "Uh, no, that's okay. I'm good. I'll just go beat off in the shower…"
"Ohhhhhh no," she replied. "I don't get any, YOU don't get any."
"What?!"
She nodded. "You heard me. I'm leaving and you're not touching your dick for more than to take a piss until I come back next week."
"You can't be serious! The last time I went a week without jerking off, I'm pretty damn sure Regan was in office!"
That damn evil smirk played on her lips. "Then let this be a lesson to you, snookums." He watched her walk away with a bit more sway in her step than necessary, those hips and that ass taunting him with every damn step.
"Fuck. I'm so fucking screwed."
They sent Sam and Andy off, Dean poured more coffee into his system, then went to Tory's and got the little dudes. They went for burgers and fries, then Andy met up with them back at the house. They were playing with Legos when the kids came home from school.
"If you try speaking to me, I'll cut your tongue out," Krissy growled in Ben's direction.
"Damn it, Kris!"
"Whoa," Dean murmured as he walked over. "Do I wanna know?"
"This…this Neanderthal can go fuck himself, that's what," Krissy spat before she turned on her heels and stomped up the steps.
"I repeat; Do I wanna know?"
Ben blew out a breath. "I'm an idiot."
Dean snorted. "Welcome to the club. I got you beat. Want to talk about it?"
Ben glanced into the living room where Andy was trying to nonchalantly listen in. "Can we go out to the garage? I just…can't. Not where everyone can listen in. The walls in this house have ears you know."
Dean did know. He inclined his head toward Andy. "You got this?"
She nodded. "Sure. Take your time."
He led the way to the garage where Hope's car was sitting, waiting for a part to be shipped in. She was almost good to go, but they were missing a few things yet. He reached into the mini-fridge and pulled out two sodas. He tossed one Ben's way. "So, I'm guessing you pissed her off. And I'm guessing you were a dick. And I'm guessing this has something to do with the way you look at her like you want to eat her…in a completely non-cannibalistic way, of course."
"God! She's so fucking infuriating!"
"Aaaand, there it is," Dean muttered as he popped the top on his drink.
"She's so damn stubborn, I swear her heart has an argument with her head every fucking time it wants to beat!"
Dean couldn't fault that logic. He'd seen her stubborn, first hand.
"She's driving me damn crazy! You think I didn't see red when I saw that dick under her on that couch? But I let it go. She ain't mine. I get that! Then with the costumes and the joking and the sexual tension I thought…then last night when she didn't, and I didn't, and it just…fuck!"
Dean blinked. "Okay. Dial it back. I need that slower. I'm still hungover as fuck from last night and I'm facing a damn firing squad with Ryan, so, cut me a little slack. Start at the beginning."
Ben sighed out a breath. "I like her, alright? Like, I got the hots for her. Have, for some time. So, I figured maybe she did too. We've been dancing around this shit for a long time. Then when the shit storm of your birthday hit, I decided to give her some space. Clearly she's into other guys, she was about to do the nasty with one on our damn sofa!"
Dean winced, but motioned for Ben to continue.
"So, then, last night, we were talking about superheroes because Deadpool is coming out soon, and you know me and Jess love his comics…"
Dean did, too. He had started reading them after Ben and Jesse finished with them. He couldn't deny, the dude had style. He was the kind of smart ass Dean could get behind in a superhero. "Okay…"
"So, anyway, she said some shit, I said some shit, Hope grossed us both out, that girl…anyway, Jesse pissed Hope off, she ran away, he left to find her, left me and Krissy both in costumes…"
"Ah. I thought I remembered seeing her in a Cat Woman suit, but I kinda thought I was having a drunk hallucination…"
"No. She can fill out leather like no one's damn business."
"Dude. She's like my daughter. Come on!"
Ben smirked. "Sorry. Anyway, so, we're sitting there, staring at each other, and I just kind of…leaned in, and she leaned back. It went south from there. Lots of shouting. Name calling. I, uh, may have called her a shrew. She may have called me a whore. Anyway, I pushed her too far, said some shit I can't take back. She won't talk to me."
Dean blew out a breath. "You have my talent for inserting your foot into your mouth, Ben."
"Thanks."
Dean smiled humorlessly. "Look, women…they're delicate."
"I know that!"
"Do you? Because right now, you're thinking with your dick. And Kris? She doesn't need that shit in her life. You think you got it tough because your mom died. I get that. But you don't know shit about having a hard damn life, Ben. She was orphaned. Twice. Me and Sam went and found her after she watched her friends be slaughtered. Do you know what a bloodbath we walked into? You've not been on hunt one yet and you can't begin to grasp it, man. She watched her mom be murdered. She watched her dad be murdered. She found out the guy she trusted like a dad was only out to make her into a murderer. Then me and Sam cut her loose out into the world to be hunters when she was still a damn kid. There is nothing I can do to make up for what I did to her, forget the rest of the world. So, you have no clue what life she's led."
"But I wanna know! Geez, I mean…I want to know. I want to get to know her. I want…"
"You aren't close to ready, son."
"Don't…"
Dean shrugged. "Just handing out cold hard facts, man. You're a kid, Ben. Not saying she's not, but you are. You go out there and you live life some, then you come back to her. Treat her like a damn friend, not a conquest."
"She's not…"
"Really? You trying to tell me she's not your white whale?"
"You gonna seriously compare her to a whale?"
Dean shot him a bitchface. He'd seen it enough from Sam to dole one out. "You gonna make jokes or are you going to listen to me?"
Ben sighed, crossed his arms, and glared at him.
Dean sighed. "If you tell me, right now, you'll sleep with her, then be there for her, like a real, grown up relationship, and not view her as just a damn prize? You got my blessing. But think long and hard about what you want from her, Ben. Because if you're just looking for someone to stick it in, don't let it be her. She's worth more than that. And you know it."
"God!" The boy ran a hand through his hair and shoved off the workbench. "I don't know!"
Dean snorted. "Then you got your answer."
"But I want her!"
"So? You know how many women I've seen I wanted and didn't get? It ain't the damn end of the world. Your dick won't fall off. Trust me."
"That's not the…"
"It is the goddamn point, son! Look, she's not some fly by night, one hit wonder. Not her. Not you. Any other dude, she may be. Any other chick, absolutely. But you two…" he blew a breath out through his nose. "Don't fuck where you eat, man. I can't let you two do that. I can't let you do that to her. You think she's unbreakable, but I got news for you. I picked her up and carried her outta there after those ghouls murdered her friends. She's got a core of steel, I'll grant you that, but she's soft, too, Ben. And her heart? It can break a hell of a lot easier than you give it credit for."
"So…what? What do I do? Just pretend this doesn't exist? Pretend this didn't happen? Pretend I don't feel this way?"
Dean felt the need to drive his point home. "You tell me, right here and now you'd marry that girl, I'll give you my damn blessing."
"I'm eighteen years old!"
"MY POINT EXACTLY!"
They stood there, almost toe to toe a moment before Ben blinked and moved away. Dean took a generous sip of his cola and wished it was a damn shot of whiskey. "Krissy…she's different. It's different with her. I almost hate, for both your sakes that it is. But her? If you can't make her feel like your princess, you don't deserve to make her feel like your slut."
"It's not…"
"It IS, Ben." He rubbed his temples. "God help me, I'm not going to let you fuck this up with her like I fucked it up with Ryan all those damn times!"
"But she's not my soul mate!" Ben's eyes widened. "Is she?"
Dean shrugged. "Like I should know?"
"You're the one that's got angels for friends! Fucking ASK!"
"Like they'd TELL ME?!"
They stared at one another for a few moments more before Dean's eyes softened. "It doesn't matter, anyway, Ben."
"What do you…?"
"You aren't ready. Like you said, you're eighteen damn years old. You're a kid. I don't mean to piss you off, but you are. So? You're not ready. Admit it. Be her damn friend. Her best friend, if need be. Just…don't expect her to roll over and take it because you smile at her. That may work with all the little chickies in high school, but it ain't gonna fly with her. And you know it."
"I hurt her."
"And you admit it. That's good. A real man can't stand to see a woman hurt, especially if somewhere, in the recesses of his mind, he realizes she's his. He's careful with his decisions and actions so he never has to be responsible for her pain."
"What do I do?"
"Apologize. Tell her you're sorry. Admit you read the situation wrong. Whatever. Just make it right."
"Will that work?"
"Beats worrying if she's going to curse you in your sleep, doesn't it?"
He swallowed. "I, uh, I think she already did."
"Again I ask; do I want to know?"
"I think I need to go get a shot of penicillin."
Dean tried. He tried not to laugh, but he couldn't stop the snort. "She got you with the clap, didn't she?"
"Damn. I guess I deserved it."
"I'm impressed. She's learning too damn much with that witch shit."
"It's a nifty enough spell, I guess."
Dean chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Come on. I'll take you to the bunker. We got antibiotics there. You honestly think I don't know how to treat that shit? Had it too damn many times."
"Thanks, Dad. For the talk. And everything else."
"I mean it, though, Ben. Don't hurt a good woman. You hurt them enough, they walk away."
"What if someone comes along before I'm ready?"
"Then she wasn't yours to start with, Ben. Remember that. She's not yours just because you think she is. She's only yours when she tells you."
"This sucks."
"Welcome to the wonderful world of adult relationships."
Ben sighed and Dean wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders. "Come on. One STD cure coming up, then apologies, alright?"
Ben nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."
"Hey, if there is one thing I know, it's how to insert my foot into my mouth, and then, how to get it out of there to make it right."
February 5th
They somehow survived until Sam and Ryan came back, both looking refreshed and a tad too tan in all the places Dean wanted to be the only one to see his wife tanned in. But he knew the two of them. He'd believe a lot of shit, but either of them stepping out, wasn't one of them. And when he asked what they did, they informed him of the books they read while they were gone, further cementing his image of the two of them sitting on the beach, noses buried in their books. It made him smile.
"I need food," he whined as dinnertime rolled in. The kids were off doing their thing. Ben and Krissy had made up, or at least, to his knowledge. Everyone was currently at work. Hope had gotten a job at the diner Krissy worked at and was thoroughly enjoying her job. Tory was watching the little boys because she'd gotten to where she liked having the little guys over, and they loved going to the lake house.
"Let's go to Brothers. I could use a damn burger and Jim always uses that special spice in his," Ryan stated. "You two game?"
Sam looked at Andy, who was reading something on her phone. "Babe?"
She looked up, blinked, and nodded. "Yeah."
"What's up?"
She smiled. "Hey, Ryan, you remember Raul?"
Ryan nodded, a smile flitting across her lips. "Yeah. Why?"
"He's getting married."
"You're kidding."
"No. Just got the email. Said he met a girl in Biloxi. She's a hunter, too. They paired up a time or two, hit it off, hit it, and, well, she's knocked up."
"Wow…good for them."
"Yeah. It is." She stuck her phone in her pocket. "Burgers you said? I'm so there. As long as they have-"
"French fries. We know," Dean told her. "Come on, Doc. I want to see if you can actually eat that three quarter pounder they have."
"Seriously? Have you seen me eat? You know I can handle my meat."
Ryan snorted. "That's what she said."
Andy looked at her a moment before she just rolled her eyes and chuckled.
When they arrived, one of the other waitresses took their order. To no one's surprise, Gina came out with their drinks on a tray. Dean stared at his drink in surprise. It was in a cup with a lid and a straw. And the lid had been taped on with electrical tape. Andy's was, too. When he opened his mouth to say something, Gina pointedly ignored him and flounced off.
"What the fuck?" he muttered.
Ryan snorted into her beer. "I think she's still pissed at you, hon."
"Great," he muttered. He looked around the table. "She didn't even leave us with fucking straws!"
She returned a few minutes later with their food. Sam and Ryan's were both on the white ceramic squares they usually served their food on, but his and Andy's were on Styrofoam plates. He and Andy exchanged a look before he asked, "Okay, seriously. What the hell?"
Gina shrugged. "Sorry, but until you learn to play well with others…" she tossed some paper napkins and finally, a few damn straws on the table. She winked at him. "I don't need ya'll breaking any more of my shit."
Dean's eyes widened before he looked away and mumbled, 'Thanks, Mom."
Gina put her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. "You mind your tone with me. The only reason you two are sitting in my place right now? THEM!" she growled, gesturing toward Sam and Ryan. "Now, I said I was grateful for you two running off those other two douchebags, and I meant it. But when words gets around that the Winchesters hang out here – and trust me, it WILL get around – I want that to mean a good thing, don't you? I'm serious, don't make me regret this. I don't wanna get rid of something bad just to replace it with something worse. You feel me?"
Andy winced. "Sorry about that."
Gina smiled at her warmly. "No apologies required, okay? Trust me, I've got a ton of experience in fucking shit up, and more often than not, THAT one had a hand in things," she added as she pointed to Jim behind the bar.
"DAMN STRAIGHT and I'd do it again!" he called out in his thick southern accent. Dean had talked to her husband more than once. He'd been a hell raiser once upon a time, too. Still was, if he had half a chance, from the sound of things.
Gina sighed. "He's making my next point for me, which is that, nine times out of ten, that ape's gonna leave his brain at home, so remember to bring yours. I don't know you guys that well, but I like you. So, uh, do me a solid, one brunette to another?"
"He's my brain," Andy replied, thumbing at Sam. "Does that count?"
"Absolutely. And brothers? I got one of those, too, and as much trouble as me and my man are capable of stirring up? You can bet money it's doubled when my brother is involved. NEITHER of us are allowed to be alone with him anymore," she added on a laugh. "So, I get it." She smiled and blew out a breath. "Now, is there anything else you guys need?"
Sam just smiled at Dean like a smartass. "Nah, I think we're good, don't you, Dean?"
"Y-Yeah, we're good." He needed a refill of his drink, but he'd be damned if he'd ask for one.
She rapped the table with her knuckles. "Alright then. I'll be back in about five with the refill you're too scared to ask for." She shot Dean a wink and walked away.
"Damn," Andy muttered, blowing out a breath. "I feel like I just got yelled at for playing in my mom's makeup."
"Did you see that look she gave us?" Dean shivered. "Reminded me of that time I stole Baby while Dad was laid up from a hunt. I only wanted to drive her, you know? I'd driven her before, but when I got home…well, let's say it didn't matter how hurt he was. I was tore up worse than him when he got done with me."
Sam winced. "I remember that. Didn't we joyride and go get ice cream?"
Dean smiled. "We brought him back one."
"He ate it after he sent you to bed," Sam told him.
Dean chuckled. "That bastard."
Gina, who obviously overheard, walked back up and pulled up a chair after handing Sam the pitcher of beer for refills. "First of all, I ain't your daddy. If memory serves, Dean, we're about the same age, so if I'm old, guess what that makes you? Second, this place? It ain't some car for ya'll to joyride in. It's my livelihood. And third? You want ice cream? I got ice cream. Hell, I got more ice cream than you can shake a stick at, anytime, on the house. It's not on the menu, but I keep it here for Jim because, well, I'm not above keeping a good man. Point is, consider this your place, but TREAT it like your place." She looked over at Ryan. "Sorry, sweetie, hope I didn't step on your toes, but I got three boys of my own and, well, the mom in me creeps out on occasion."
Dean just smiled. "Sweetheart, if I wasn't already with Ryan…"
Gina shot him a look so cold, he'd probably be chipping ice off his ass for the next week. "Don't even go there. I got a guy, one I'd go to hell for. So don't even try that flirting crap with me. One troublemaker in my life is more than enough."
Dean chuckled. "We're blessed, G. That much is for sure. Say…you got any of your mom-in-law's pie back there to go with that ice cream?"
Gina just shook her head as she stood. "How do you ever tell those puppy dog eyes 'no'?"
Ryan, who Dean could tell was trying not to giggle, probably at how the woman just shut him down, said, "I've got three pairs at home. Trust me. I'm well versed in the art of saying no."
"Well, I guess that means I gotta learn." She started to turn when she stopped. "Oh, one more thing? I'm Puerto-Rican. Try this shit again? You'll have a full-blown Latina meltdown on your hands, got it? See ya, Ry, don't be a stranger."
Ryan looked at Dean, wide eyed. "You know, I realize you made it with the Casa Erotica girl, but, babe, even I thought that was sexy."
Dean just cleared his throat and smiled.
Sam POV
February 12
"Ask for help, and help shall arrive," Dean stated cheerily as he walked into Sam and Andy's house and dropped onto the kitchen chair next to Sam.
"Not that I'm not happy to see you after spending ALL DAMN DAY with you, but, uh, why are you here?"
Dean shrugged. "Hope and her little chickies are talking play shit. They kicked me out."
"Just you?" Sam asked suspiciously.
"Okay, I may have been making an ass out of myself. But come on, those dudes singing that gay song about Agony? I couldn't deal."
"And your daughter couldn't deal with you."
"Actually, it was Ryan," Dean stated, somewhat bashfully.
"Remind me to thank Ryan later." He eyed his brother. "So she sent you over to bug the shit out of me. How kind of her. When you remind me to thank her, remind me to send her a fruit basket as well."
"Fuck and you, buddy. Where's Doc?"
"She's over at Tory's for a little while. She'll come home in a few."
"So…"
Sam sighed. "You can stay. Help me research, alright? I got a fang I can't find and I need to give Rudy some information."
Dean sighed. "Seriously? Do you ever take a fucking break, dude?"
"You want to help me or not?"
"Fine," Dean bit out as he snagged Andy's laptop from the countertop. "I'll help, I'll help…"
Sometime later…
"Come on," Sam grumbled to himself a while later. "Where the hell are you hiding?" He narrowed his eyes at the computer screen. It was well into his second hour of scouring local maps in the most recent of several failed attempts to suss out the location of the vamp nest Rudy had caught wind of. The guy needed all the help he could get, and Sam was the one that drew the short straw. On the plus side, it was Ryan having to deal with Garth this time, so that was always a win when he didn't have to handle the overly verbose werewolf.
Dean's helping so far had consisted of huffing like a child, opening a book, staring at it blankly, playing a game of solitaire on the computer, then complaining he was bored before becoming a blister on Sam's ass. He made spitting noises. He drummed out an AC/DC song on the table with his thumbs. He spun a bottle cap. Like, twelve times.
Sam's jaw clenched and he sucked in a breath, determined to ignore his brother. How the hell he thought it'd be a good idea to let Dean stay and help him with research, he'd never figure. There was a reason he and Ryan had taken over the lion's share of research. They were a well-oiled machine. But he was onto his brother. He knew Dean's end game: become such an overwhelming nuisance that Sam would gladly kick him out and do the research himself if it meant peace and quiet. And it usually did the trick. But not this time, Sam decided. Dean was gonna have to nut up and hit the books. "Here," Sam offered a stack of obits and coroners' reports. "Comb through these, see if anything sticks out."
Dean turned from the pantry where he had been rummaging, a bag of chips in hand. His lip curled and he rolled his eyes, then he walked up behind Sam and stooped to look over his shoulder at the computer.
Sam closed his eyes and squared his shoulders as Dean rustled the chip bag, no doubt to ruffle his feathers. Incessant. Constant. Noise. During research, it was the fly in Sam's ointment, and he knew Dean had his number.
Dean reached in the bag and shoved a handful of chips in his mouth. He crunched and smacked and licked his fingers. "Find our fangs yet?" he asked through a full mouth, then pointed at the screen. "What about there? Abandoned warehouse always screams 'vamp' to me."
Sam shrugged Dean's arm away from his shoulder. Having his personal space crowded was another of Sam's buttons, one Dean loved pressing. "No," Sam bit out through clenched teeth. "So far, all the vics have been showing up in the same area, and this warehouse is miles away. They'd wanna stick close to their hunting ground."
"Makes sense, I guess." Dean dug into the bag again to stuff his mouth, and dropped some crumbs on Sam's shoulder. "Oh...damn. Sorry, man, lemme get that."
Sam felt Dean dust his shoulder and snapped. "Fine, YOU WIN!" He roared as he whipped around, his face red with anger. "You win, Dean, GET THE HELL OUT!"
The elder Winchester stood straight, a satisfied smirk on his smart ass face. It soon sobered though, as he thought aloud, "Wait...go where?"
Sam kept his eyes on Dean as he smiled, then called out, "Andy! Babe, can you c'mere a sec?" Bless her. She was the only one more tolerable of Dean than he was. She had come in about twenty minutes before and pecked him on the cheek before she'd gone upstairs to shower. She and Tory were working on some flower beds or something. Tory had taken up gardening. Sam wasn't certain it wasn't weed she was going to grow, but he was staying out of that one.
She appeared within seconds from the den, putting the back on an earring. Sam turned to her and she bent to steal a kiss. Papers and maps and books were strewn around the whole damn table. "Still stumped about the nest, huh? What can I do to help?"
Sam held a hand out to his wife. "Thank you!" He turned to Dean. "See? THAT'S how you're supposed to respond to research!"
"I would, but I'm neither a nerd, nor am I sleeping with you..." He pointed at Andy. "Exhibit 'A'. S'up, Doc?"
"Wyatt."
"Wait," Sam remembered, turning back to Andy, "I thought you were going to a movie toight."
"Not just A movie, THE movie."
Sam chuckled. "Deadpool...right. Feel like company? Dean needs a sitter."
Andy put a hand on her hip and sighed as she shot Dean a look.
"What the hell'd I do to YOU?!"
Comically, she stepped toe-to-toe with Dean, who stood nearly two heads above her. She reached up a finger and warned as she looked up, "Dean Winchester, I have been waiting and fangirling over this movie for months, you hear me? MONTHS. You do ONE THING to fuck this up for me? I'll kick your junk till your ass shits your ghost, savvy? I ain't your brother. I. WILL. END. YOU."
Sam watched the war on Dean's face. He knew it went against everything in Dean's nature to refrain from calling her hand. Knew, too, Dean had been reading a few of Ben's Deadpool comics recently. Sam hadn't told Andy because he wasn't sure he wanted the two of them to have another damn thing to bond over, but he supposed he owed it to them. Besides, he could admit, if only to himself, he enjoyed watching his wife put Dean in his place. And the sparring Dean had done lately had done just that. Dean had already learned the hard way not to let her size fool him. Hard as he tried, he'd never been able to intimidate her, and she had a temper that rivaled his on a good day.
Sam watched as Dean closed one eye at her and whispered, "Shhh...my common sense is tingling."
Realization was written all over her face and Andy gasped as her eyes widened. "Seriously?!"
"So rare it's a goddamn super power." He extended his arm. "Shall we?"
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and pointed at the door. "Yeah, this is...great. Sorry you have to rush off."
"Boo, you whore!" Andy joked. He smiled as she pressed a kiss to his lips, then stood and took Dean's arm.
He waggled his eyebrows and teased, "Don't wait up,"
Sam pressed his lips together and resisted the urge to stab his brother with a fork. He forced a smile and waved. "Okay, BUH-bye."
Four hours later, the screen door slammed shut and started Sam from his sleep as he snorted and shot up from the mound of papers underneath him.
"Awww," Andy giggled at the post-it stuck to Sam's face. She peeled it from his cheek and gushed, "You're so cute when you brain."
"Ew. Dude, can you not? I'm standing right here."
Sam's brow furrowed and he couldn't stop himself from checking Andy's breath. They weren't drunk, thankfully. They were, however, pleasantly buzzed. He supposed that one, he could let slide. "Lemme guess...Dean talked you into raiding his mini fridge before the movie?"
Andy stood straight and tapped Sam on the nose. "You, sir...are not wrong." She gasped and sat in his lap. "Babe, the movie was AMAZEBALLS!"
"Yeah," Dean interjected, "Deadpool's a badass. B. A. M. F."
"Go B. A. M. F. yourself, Dean," Sam growled.
"Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Awesome insult, but harsh. Did I miss something?"
Sam blew out a ragged breath and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "No. No, you didn't, it's...it's just been a long night. Been swimming in cross references and dead-ends...and I'm no closer to finding the vamps' hideout." He let out a yawn and stretched. "I'm glad you guys had a good time."
"HAD?! NUH-uh. Fun time's still going on." Dean shot Andy a wink and plopped down at the kitchen table next to Sam. "DOC! Fucking grab me a fucking beer out of the fucking fridge right the fuck now!"
"JESUS, DEAN!" Sam yelled. "Even for you, the language...don't forget you're talking to my wife!"
"Oh, suck a cock!"
Sam's eyebrows shot up. Dean and Andy erupted into laughter. "S'cool, Sam...thanks, And," Dean said as she handed him a beer.
"Did I miss something?" Sam felt sure his bewilderment showed on his face as Andy sat next to him and slid the lap top in front of her.
"We need more booze. Drunk research is WAAAY more fun," Dean muttered.
Andy shot him a look and cooed, "Okay, let's see what we can see..."
Dean giggled and leaned toward Sam. "Dude...I can make a woman sarcasm. Repeatedly. Watch this..." He sat up straight. "Hey, Andy, I know we're both married, and this is just a hypothetical question, but have you ever thought about...?"
She looked around the laptop at Dean, raised an eyebrow and deadpanned, "Sure. Right after I've discovered not only that you're the last man on the planet, but that I've checked my self-respect and dignity at the door, STD's no longer scare me, I have absolutely nothing else to live for, mailed my suicide note to whoever might give a damn..."
He leaned back to Sam. "See?"
Sam just groaned.
Andy kissed Sam's cheek. "Don't worry, baby...your brother has about as much sex appeal as a herpes commercial."
"Hey! Sam was in one of those!" The two others shared a laugh at Sam's expense before Dean smirked. "But, ah, feeling's mutual, sis." They reached across the table and tapped their beers together.
They sat back and shared a smile. Sam looked at Dean, then back at Andy. "What the hell is WRONG with you two?! Did Molly come along for the movie or something?"
Dean stifled a giggle, then leaned on an elbow and looked at Sam. "I know, right? You're probably thinking, 'whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie'? I can't tell you his name, but it rhymes with 'pulverine'." He added in an Australian accent, "And lemme tell ya, e's got a nice pair o' smooth criminals down unda."
"Oh my god..." Sam leaned on the table and fisted his hair. "Let the references begin. This is gonna be a loooong night."
Andy laughed. "My turn! Uh...oh! I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it."
Dean finished, "They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent." He thought a minute, then his eyes widened. "Oh! Hello there! I bet you're wondering why the red suit? Well, that's so bad guys can't see me bleed."
Andy continued, "This guy's got the right idea...he wore the brown pants!"
"ALRIGHT!" Sam bellowed. The room fell silent. "Do you guys have an off switch?"
Dean didn't miss a beat. Stone-faced, he came back with, "Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the 'on' switch?"
Andy laughed so hard she nearly fell out of her chair. When she finally recovered, she cleared her throat. "Okay, let's be serious now, for Sam's sake. He's been busting his ass for hours trying to come up with a lead...the least we can do is help him out."
Sam smiled at her gesture. "Thanks. I appreciate it." He thought a second. "Hey, check the police data bases, see if any suspicious crimes pop up. That was gonna be my next step-"
"Crime's the disease," Dean thumbed at himself. "Meet the cure. Okay, not the cure, but more like a topical ointment to reduce swelling and itch."
Sam shot Dean the bitch face. Andy nearly bit her lip in half to keep from laughing.
Dean nodded. "No? Okay..." He closed his eyes and started bobbing his head. "I heard that you were talking shit / And you didn't think that I'd hear it / People hear you talkin' like that, gettin' everybody fired up...ooh, this my shit, this my shit / This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S..."
Sam attempted to choke back the laughter, but he lost it. After a minute, he wiped tears away and sighed. "I swear to god, if you put as much effort into research as you do into being a complete and utter jackass..."
"I'd be dangerous?"
"Exactly." He clapped Dean on the shoulder. "Thanks for the laugh. I needed that."
"Anytime." Dean stood to his feet and hitched up his pants. "Time to go see if I can rile the wife up, make her tie me to the bedposts..." A sly grin spread across his face as he stared off. "Hoo boy...if I had a nickel for every time I woke up in THAT predicament..."
"You'd have a nickel, stud," Andy countered.
It was Sam's turn to laugh at Dean's expense.
"Uh-UH! What about that time I was tied up at Becky's-"
Sam scoffed. "That was ME, asshat...and pillories don't count."
"Actually," Dean corrected, "I think pillories count DOUBLE."
"Easy for you to say...let a crazy fangirl roofie YOU and trick you into marriage, then we'll talk."
"Alright, enough reminiscing," Andy said as she pulled Sam to his feet and patted his cheek. "Stalker exes aside, this is a face I wanna sit on. NOW."
Dean heaved and held up a hand. "I thought we had an agreement about the sex stuff?!"
"MY house. MY rules. Unless you wanna be a witness, I suggest you shag ass." She smiled and walked over to him and said quietly, "Listen, Dean, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the house. Right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck."
Dean smirked. "Movie was awesome. Later, sis." On his way out the door he yelled over his shoulder, "Hey Jared! I'll take a footlong, fully loaded!"
Sam crinkled his nose. "Who the hell's 'Jared'?"
