CHAPTER FIFTY
"I can't believe you're leaving again. I feel like I just get you back and then you leave me again." I pouted.
It was a week after our time in San Fran and Edward was packing once more.
"It's only one more month of this and then we will be finished with the Chicago shoot. We can do this, baby."
"Well, can you tell your producer that all this time away is seriously cramping my husband's ability to produce offspring?" I huffed.
"I'm one of the producers so why don't you tell him yourself." Edward quipped.
"Very funny. I'm so glad to know that my eggs drying up and rotting is so hilarious." I criticized.
"Baby." Edward tried to pull me toward him but I pushed away his attempts. "Bella, come here." He stated adamantly.
I crossed my arms and sighed irritated. I walked over and stopped a couple of feet away.
"Honey, your eggs have not dried up…"
"Well then what the hell is the matter with me? We fuck so much, rabbits would be embarrassed. Edward, what is wrong with me." I broke.
"Oh god, sweetheart there is nothing wrong with you. We've been over this. You have to relax. It will happen…"
"Stop saying that. I can't take the lies anymore. Just leave me alone." I waved him off and walked toward our bathroom.
"Come back here." Edward ordered. "Isabella Cullen. Do not ignore me."
I stopped at the door frame.
"Come here." Edward said a little more controlled.
I turned to face him but I wasn't going to walk over to him.
"Sometimes you can be so damn stubborn." Edward walked over to me. "It upsets me to see you like this. I wish I knew the answers you seek. I don't know when or if we will ever be able to produce a child but I do know that if it doesn't happen this way, we will find another way. I'm not going to give up. I am not lying to you when I say it will happen when it happens. You need to relax. Being stressed out is not good for your body and I know it's hard but baby, we haven't even been trying for a year. Charlotte and Peter tried for three years. Just have a little faith and patience. And I don't appreciate you calling it fucking because every single time I am with you, whether it's soft and slow or hard and fast I consider it making love to my wife. My child will be made out of love and not some horny teenager angst."
He finished and I still stood there like a statue.
"Are you finished?" I asked.
"Are you finished acting like a brat?" he replied.
I started to cry again unable to hold it any longer. Edward pulled me back over to the bed and laid me down with him.
"When we get back from D.C., I am going to make an appointment with Dr. Smith and she will tell us if there is any unknown reason why we are having trouble, okay?"
I nodded my head. "Can you go first? I don't want to do some painful procedure if we find out the problem is with your…stuff."
"Whatever you need, baby."
"I really wish you weren't leaving me again." I mumbled.
"It won't be long until you're with me. If you need to come earlier then what we planned please let me know."
"Hey, I did what you asked last time. I was all set to go until Jacob stopped me."
"Jacob, stopped you?" Edward asked.
"He didn't tell you?" Edward shook his head and I was actually proud for a moment that Jacob managed to keep something from Edward. "I…can't sleep when you're gone. I hadn't slept for days last time and Jacob finally figured out that I had trouble sleeping alone. So…he…slept with me. Just once in the afternoon, we didn't do anything except for sleep, I mean…well I slept, Jacob just…laid there."
"I'm not mad, honey. I'm glad he was able to figure out a solution. I trust you and I trust Jacob."
"This all just seems so easy for you. I'm a one flew short of a cuckoo's nest and you seem to be sitting pretty in Chicago…probably on a vacation from your crazy barren wife."
"Easy? Bella, I'm a wreak. You have no idea what it does to me not being near you. Hell, ask Jacob. Ask Emmett. I drive them up the wall with my inquires to how you're doing. I know you won't tell me the truth unless you're about to have a break down. Being in Chicago…I never would have taken the job six months ago if I had known how hard this was going to be." He paused, "And you really need to stop putting yourself down. You know that pisses me off."
I didn't reply, I thought it best; I could feel Edward's body heating up and not in a good way. Instead I just quietly let my tears flow and stop on their own.
"I'm sorry, I'm all moody. I'm just absolutely dreading tomorrow. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't do this anymore. I know what's going to come, sleepless nights and depression. I'm useless. At least before I could focus on some kind of work but now I have nothing."
"Maybe we should move up your time in Chicago. Why don't you try for just three days? That's two nights of alternative sleeping arrangements and then come on day three." Edward proposed.
"Alternative sleeping arrangements?" I asked.
"Sleep with Jacob, sleep with the girls. Hell, sleep with Embry if that helps." He stated.
"I don't think it works with the girls. I was with Rosalie for a night and I still couldn't sleep. When I slept with the girls, Jacob was there and I can't imagine Embry's face if I ask him to sleep with me for the night. But maybe…I can become nocturnal. I will sleep during the day when people are around. Seemed to work okay when my mother was close by and I took a brief nap. Then at night, I will focus on whatever project I decide to take on."
"I don't like it. I don't want you at Warner Bros. by yourself at night."
"I won't go to Warner Bros., I'll stay at home. I promise."
Edward still wasn't too happy over this new arrangement but he seemed to allow it. I knew if I could find a project that was tedious, I could definitely take my mind off my problems.
The next morning he left me sleeping, probably thinking I needed as much as possible. It was Saturday so there was no need for rush. After I had woken up, I took a nice relaxing turn in the bathtub and tried to rid myself of any negativity.
I floated down the stairs at half past noon.
"Where is everybody?" I asked Jacob as I approached the kitchen.
"It would take me all day to list off the extra-curricular activities of all the people inhabiting this house."
"Okay, fine. Where are the little people?" I replied.
I pulled out the preparations for making an egg salad sandwich and started to boil the water.
"Your mom took them to see that new god awful Disney movie."
"Awe just you wait, Uncle Jacob until you have kids of your own and they're dragging you to the movie with the singing princesses." I teased.
"That's why I have you, Auntie Bella."
The doorbell rang, interrupting our banter.
"Watch my eggs and make sure they don't over cook." I requested.
I walked over to the door and looked through the glass to see Garrett standing outside it.
Odd.
"Garrett? Uh…Edward's not home. He's in Chicago, remember?" I paused for a second still baffled at the reason for his visit. Tria Fata members always knew where their members were. "Did you need Jacob? Is this some pressing society matter?"
"No. I'm here to see you. I have a proposition."
I looked around just to be sure he was talking to me.
"Can I come in, Bella."
"Uh…yes." I melted back into reality and opened the door wider.
I really wasn't sure what I should do next. Like I said, Garrett and I didn't really get along too well. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the foyer not sure where I should offer us to go and talk. Jacob was in the kitchen and it would be nice to have a witness just in case but the formal living room seemed more appropriate.
"You can relax, Bella. I'm not here on any sort of official society business." Garret said sensing my hesitation.
"Uh…can I get you a drink or something?" I offered.
"Um…a glass of water would be nice." He replied.
Kitchen with witnesses it is.
I walked toward the kitchen where Jacob stood staring into my pot of eggs.
"Hey Bells, how do I know if they're done?"
"Jacob, we have company." I announced and he looked up at us.
"Hey man, what's up?" Jacob came over and gave Garrett the obligatory male greeting ritual.
"Not much, just here to talk with Bella." He replied.
"Oh…OH. I'll uh…just leave you two then." Jacob over-exaggerated. What was his deal and why was my only witness leaving.
And then there were two. I walked over and grabbed a bottle of water from our fridge and gave it to Garrett.
"So, what can I do for you?" I ventured.
"Well, I know that you and I haven't really gotten along in the past and I apologize for that. I know that I was partly to blame…"
Partly?
"Anyway Bella, I wanted to talk to you because I was just offered to direct Two Moons…and I accepted."
"Really?" My mouth opened and I think I may have stated that "really" with a tad too much shock.
"Yes…you don't seem too happy." He replied.
"I am more… confused and shocked. Two Moons is so not your type of film. You do period pieces and dramas…not really angsty superhero movies."
"I find the story very captivating and I want to branch out and widen my horizons."
"Well…congratulations then. I hope you…" I couldn't think of what I wanted to say and part of that was because I was kind of irritated with him coming over here to flash at me my "what could have been" moment. I know I had already turned it down and that was my cross to bear but I didn't need my…rival coming over here to throw it in my face how unprepared I was and how overly qualified he was.
"I hope you…have fun?"
"I didn't come here to toy with you. I know that somewhere deep down inside how much you wanted this…"
"It's fine, I wasn't ready." I interrupted.
"I know…but I think you need to get ready. Which is why I am here, I wanted to ask you to work on this with me."
Come again?
I sat there just staring at him with probably the most confused, baffled, bewildered, confounded face. Just pick a word, I was all of them.
"Like I said…I know that we have had our differences however, we are both professionals, you have had very good solid work but I think you still have quite a bit to learn and I am confident that I can teach you. I know you love this project and I do believe it can be your jumping off point. You're not an actress, Bella which is something I actually respect. You're not trying to be famous, you just are..."
"You don't respect actors?" I cut in.
"Of course I do. I don't respect people wanting to be actors because they crave fame and notoriety. So many women who come into our realm have dated us to further their own careers. They're vain and that is one of the reasons I have so much trouble respecting any new prospects that are brought in especially with the track record that Edward and Emmett have had. Jacob's a great example but lately not too much of a problem…I'm only guilty of wanting to protect my brothers from pain and disillusionment."
How did we go from talking about projects and films to rehashing issues that were the root of our problems?
"I don't know if it would work…I…" I laughed ironically, "Can't imagine us working well with one another…can you?"
"Welcome to the real world, Bella. We don't always work well with everyone but if you truly do care about a project or a job than you learn to because it's for the greater good of yourself. I have more knowledge then most on directing…Emmett's great too but I'm not going to baby you and expect less from you because you happen to be my brother's wife. Can you say that about Emmett? If you want the opportunity to really learn…I can give that to you." He replied sincerely.
"Just feels…wrong. No offense but it's like nepotism…I mean would you really be here right now if I wasn't Edward's wife? What would make you want to even include me…"
I stopped for a minute and for some reason I felt like I already had the answer to my question the second it rolled off my tongue.
"JACOB!" I yelled. "I know you're listening…get your hairy ass in here."
Jacob walked out from behind the wall with his hands up, "I know what you're going to say but I didn't have anything to do with this."
"Bella, I'm not here because of Jacob. This is a real job opportunity. A chance to push yourself farther and earn respect in your field. Think about it. Yes, it's nepotism but that's Hollywood. However you have the satisfaction of knowing that the offer came to you before it came to me so how much nepotism could there be. You asked to be considered for assistant director and now I'm offering it to you. A chance to work on something without Edward Cullen's name attached. A chance to trade on your own name. Let me know." Garrett got up from the bar stool and took his bottled water with him.
"I really didn't ask him to come here. Yes, I knew he was going to come here but I didn't ask him to." Jacob went straight into damage control.
"You could have warned me. We're not all blessed to have a subscription to the Tria Fata Times."
"That's a good one." Jacob laughed.
"I need you to be straight with me." I got serious for a minute, "Jacob, please show me just even a smidge more of allegiance for just a second over Tria Fata….do you think Garrett's intentions are honorable?"
"Bella, if they weren't I would be right in line behind Edward to kick his ass."
Well that left me with a lot of thinking to do. Just from Jacob's and my short discussion, I knew that Edward must have known that Garrett was going to come here today. I wanted this project, that's true but could I really trust Garrett? Was it even about trust or like he said, it should be about the job.
I didn't find out until decades later that Garrett only took that director position as a personal favor to my husband. Of course Two Moon's wasn't Garrett's type of film and it would be the last semi action film he would ever do but that didn't mean he didn't work his ass off and really give me the valued education I sought so that when it came time for the sequel I could step right into his former role.
When it really came down to it, Tria Fata ties held more weight than career paths. I never understood why Edward would ask Garrett over Emmett, maybe he thought that putting us within close proximity to one another would help heal the wounds but whatever his reasoning, I'm sure he was satisfied with the end results.
"So...you're in trouble, mister."
"What did I do?" I could practically picture Edward's perfect innocence flash across his face.
"Like I told Jacob, a little warning would have been nice." I said repositioning the phone so I could find a more comfortable position.
"Baby, I'm not really sure what you are talking about." Edward continued with his innocence.
"I remember this evasiveness the next time you demand to know something, Mr. Cullen." I warned.
"So did you take it?"
"Take what? Apparently you don't know what we're talking about."
"Bella…"
"I…didn't not take it. I don't know yet. It's weird. Come on, you know that Garrett and my…affiliation is rocky at best. Anyone else and I probably would be calling you to tell you yes, I have a job…not just another pretty face who sits at home eating bon bons spending my husband's cash on QVC."
"Because you've done that so much lately. I really think this is perfect for you. Jacob was right; this is the right role at the right time."
"Honestly? Being…faithful to just me and not Tria Fata for just ten seconds…"
"Bella, I'm always faithful to you first and foremost. It hurts me that you don't think so."
"I don't know…like with Jacob earlier…sometimes…" I sighed. "I'm sorry. I know that is shitty of me but the past…I can't stop myself from wondering."
"You are my one and only priority in life. God, you can't even comprehend just how much I love you because I can't even comprehend it. Bella, you'll always be first."
"I love you too. Again I'm sorry. I've just been feeling kind of weird lately, more crazy than normal as I'm sure you've noticed."
"It's been hard me being so far away. You're not crazy, just not use to our relationship having to work from long distances. It will be okay. Are you going to try to go to sleep now?"
"I don't know if I will be able to." I looked over at the clock and it was passed eleven.
"Please try."
"It's not that I don't try."
"I have an idea. Turn your television on to HBO." Edward requested.
"Okay." I shook my head wondering what he could be up to. I put the channel on and it was of our movie that we had made while in Italy.
"Oh my gosh." I laughed.
"Now, get under the covers and place your pillows all around you and put me on speaker."
I did as I was told. Edward and I watched the movie together and we talked about our past experiences during that era in our lives and just rehearing the stories reminded me how far we have come. The next morning I realized that Edward's little trick of talking to me until I would fall asleep had worked.
I managed to sleep until six which was not normal for a heavy sleeper like myself but it was five and a half hours or so, so I would take it happily. I took the rest of my morning to mull around my options in my head. I really needed to be sure about this. I never wanted to be one of those people who gave her word and then didn't follow though.
It was a tough decision for me but when I finally realized that the only reason I wasn't saying yes was because I was afraid. Suddenly, the decision process got a whole lot easier. I wasn't afraid of working with Garrett as much as you would think. I was more afraid of failure. This would be my first big budget film. What if it failed? How humiliating would that be?
I knew this book had lots of fans and I was afraid of letting them down. I knew that fans could be powerful and if they decided to not jump on board with your vision, you could be in a lot of trouble because in the end, it was true, the book is always better than the movie.
I laid out my smartest outfit and got ready for my day. I took my time to shower and really pamper myself that morning. I didn't have anything to eat and I tried to make it out of the house without anyone noticing. I knew once Jacob had known I was awake, he would begin to pester the shit out of me.
I drove off to Warner Bros. and straight to the office where I had my meeting with Carly Garcia. I wanted to speak with her personally. After my last meeting with her, I was able to reevaluate my actions and come to the conclusion that I should have had a tad more grace in declining.
"Isabella Swa…Cullen for Carly Garcia." I still couldn't get that name change through my head. Pity because I kind of liked how my name sounded. Plus there were plenty of famous Cullens but not too may famous Swans.
"Miss Garcia will see you, you can go straight through." She replied not even lifting the phone to call and ask Carly. Odd.
"I wondered when you would be back. Garrett here seemed to think we would hear from you today." Carly greeted me.
I walked in slowly noticing a few more people in this office then the last time I was in here. Garrett and Lynn were there as well as a couple other people who I did not know yet.
Everyone stared at me as I tried to prepare myself. I took a deep breath. "Well, I…wanted to apologize for our last meeting. I'm sure you understand that I was caught really off guard and I'm sure I could have handled your offer more skillfully."
"Why don't you sit down? We have a lot to go over and I have already explained your…tact to Carly." Garrett replied.
"I…haven't accepted anything yet." I challenged.
"You wouldn't have come here if you weren't planning on accepting. Now where were we?" Garrett turned his chair back to the big wipe off-board they had going.
The next couple of months were going to be very strange indeed. With as much poise as I could muster I sat down in the chair and someone handed me a notepad to take notes. I started jotting down a couple of fine points that were displayed on the wipe off-board. I could hear Carly and Garrett already picking up their argument that they must have started before my interruption.
"Well I won't know where we stand with our budget until we settle on casting. If we really are going to go with Jacob Black that will take most of our budget, how am I going to give a proper finale if forty percent of my budget is used on casting." Garrett argued.
"What did you just say?" I jumped in.
"Sorry, I guess we need to catch you up. Carly and I are having differing views on our budget. The studio is only giving us fifty million to work with which isn't a lot when dealing with the type of special effects we will need." Garrett explained.
"Yes, but with a name attached like Jacob Black…it will generate instant buzz and Warner Bros. may be able to up our funds." Carly contested.
"This is a best seller. I can't throw a stone in this damn city without hitting someone who has read or knows of this book. The movie will generate enough buzz when we put it out in the trades it's impeding arrival." Garrett replied.
"Wait… just wait. Um…" I was having trouble finding the best professional way to state this, "What the hell does Jacob Black have to do with this?"
"He's expressed interest. I would have thought he told you since you…live with him." Carly explained.
"WHAT?"
The meeting continued and I was about as useless as a tofu on Thanksgiving Day. Somehow I felt like I had been played. I needed to speak to Mr. Black and pronto.
"WHAT…THE…HELL!" I exclaimed walking into Jacob's bedroom.
"I'm going to have to call you back. Hells Bells just walked in." Jacob gave me a goofy grin but I was not caving. Jacob hung up his phone and opened his arms wide.
"What has you down, honey?" Jacob asked sweetly.
"Don't call me honey. I am not your honey."
"Awe my little muffin, you look tired. Why don't you come on over to the couch and I will give you a neck and head massage. You look like you've had a rough day."
"Jacob, I'm not playing. I feel like somehow you played me. I'm not happy."
He sobered up. "Why do you think that?"
"You put your name in for Lucas? You could have gone after that role all on your own. Why did you feel the need to drag me into this?"
"Bella, I…look I met with Carly and I told her all about you. I met with Lynn and she seem instantly thrilled that you would even consider but Carly…she wasn't so sure of your abilities yet. I vouched for you and told her that you would be an amazing addition to this project and then she asked if I would consider doing it. I didn't ask…but you know…I can't not think about it. This is like the perfect role for me."
"Awe hell, Jacob why didn't you tell me from the beginning it was something you wanted to pursue, I would have backed off."
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I don't want to work with you. No offense but I have seen how difficult you are to work with. You are arrogant; you're not a team player. I would kill you, I don't put up with that shit. Ever since Lauren Mallory, I am at a place in my career where I don't have to put up with that anymore."
"I wouldn't be like that with you." He replied.
"You shouldn't be like that with anyone." I practically shrieked.
Jacob walked over and put his arm around my shoulders. I stood there not welcoming his advance with my arms crossed.
"Come on Bells. I promise that I will be the very best little toy solider actor you ever did have. If I'm not you have free reign to rip me a new asshole…which I'm starting to think is something that you're into." He sang.
I gave him a cross look.
"You know that I'm perfect for this role. You know this." He pressed walking me toward his couch.
"As of right now…I'm not even sure if we can afford you. Word is, your normal asking price is twenty million and it doesn't take a genius to realize that with a fifty million dollar budget, it's either you and your twenty million dollar price tag and we forgo the quality of the film or we go with someone less famous and really maximize our budget dollars." I replied coyly.
I sat down on the couch and Jacob flopped down beside me.
"I don't need twenty million dollars for this film. I have been able to save my pennies since the people I'm staying with don't charge me rent."
"Leeching off of is more like it?" I said rolling my eyes.
"Anyway, why don't you go back and tell your producer that as your first act as the new assistant director, you were able to lock in Jacob Black for the bargain basement price of ten million dollars."
"Five." I stated.
"Nine." He countered.
"Seven. That's as high as I'll go with the possibility of back end at two percent."
"To be renegotiated for sequels." Jacob added.
"Deal."
"You got yourself an actor." Jacob held out his hand and I shook it.
At the time I did think in the back of my mind, what the hell did I just agree to. Jacob and I would kill each other. First Garrett and now Jacob. Don't get me wrong I of course loved Jacob but I never wanted to work with him. I had decided that long ago when I would go to the set and see how he treated people. There was no doubt I would be on his ass to be respectful to his fellow cast and crew.
At the time I worried about this decision on casting Jacob but like the saying goes, there is always a reason for everything and if I had been with anybody else that fateful day in September, I might not have survived what was planned for me.
AN: really getting back into the groove of writing so much and I think it's because of all your reviews! I am so happy to hear your passion for this story, it inspires me. Thank you again for reading and reviewing!
