LL Chapter 54

Is it cold in here or is it just you?

For the rest of January our teachers kept us bogged down with a lot of homework. We assumed that it was a last ditch effort to attempt to teach us something, anything, before we graduated in a few months and the world got to see how lacking the Forks' educational system was. I still maintain that I am smarter than the teachers in this town are.

I am glad that Tanya won't be stuck going to school here. Bella and I will still be in college when she starts school. That means either school in Los Angeles or New York. Either way one is a major step up from what is available here.

If I had any notion of attempting to take our physical relation further, Bella put a stop on it before I truly had a chance to consider it. She just wasn't acting like herself lately. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.

As the month went on though, Bella got moodier and more withdrawn from all of us. One night, I was over at her house so we could study for a science test together. She went from being surly with me to outright snapping at me or anyone else that dared to speak to her. My biggest mistake of the night was agreeing to quiz her.

After the sixth wrong answer she gave me she really lashed out, "If you weren't asking such stupid fucking questions maybe I'd know what the hell you were asking me!"

I sat there dumbfounded for a moment. I was ready to snap myself. I was just sat there willing myself not to verbally attack her back when I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Edward, perhaps its time for you to go home." I agreed with Sue and immediately packed up my stuff and left the kitchen without a word to Bella. I was afraid that if I did speak, I would say something that I would definitely regret.

I did not hear from her that night. Today was my day to volunteer at the hospital so Bella would be driving herself to school. But she never showed up at school. I was distracted all day worrying about her.

Since they were still baby free in the NICU, I had been assigned to work with the children in the pediatric ward. I welcomed the distraction of playing with the kids there. I was helping ones with some homework. She was insistent that she not fall behind just because she was stuck in the hospital. She was a smart little thing and reminded me of Bella with her long brown hair and brown eyes.

She was only ten and was having a series of surgeries to correct injuries she suffered in a car accident. She had been here for a couple of weeks and they were talking about discharging her in another week or two as long as her recovery went as planned. I was helping her with her math tables. The nurses had allowed me to sneak in soda and sweets when I came to work with her. For every math problem she got right, I'd give her a Hershey kiss.

I was getting to the harder material that he teacher was covering and I knew when she was stuck. She always tried to change the subject if she didn't know the answer.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Edward?"

"Yes, I do. Now answer the question, Holly."

"What's her name?"

"Her name is Bella. Do you need me to help you figure out the answer?"

"Is she pretty?"

"She is beautiful. Where are you stuck on the problem?"

"What does she look like?"

I sighed. I really did not want to talk about Bella right now. I would just end up getting angry again but I answered her question. "She has long brown hair and brown eyes, almost like yours. Now, we need to get back to your problems or I will be the one that gets to drink that soda over there."

Holly giggled and went back to her problem. It was a tough question and one that took even me a minute to figure out. Twenty minutes later, she had answered all of her problems correctly and was drinking her soda and we were watching "How to Train Your Dragon" together. I normally would have left right after Holly finished her homework but I was not interested in going home where the only thing I had to do was stew about Bella and her mood swings.

After the movie was over, I promised Holly that I'd be back on Saturday and left for my long ride home. By the time I made it back to Forks I was starving. Since I knew that dinner at my house was over, I decided to stop off at the diner for supper.

Jessica was just sitting down to eat after her shift when I got there so I joined her. After we were finished eating I drove her home so she wouldn't have to walk in the cold. When I finally pulled up to my house, I saw Bella's car parked there.

For the millionth time today, I sighed then I banged my head down on my steering wheel for a moment before I had the strength to go in the house. I found her sitting one in the living room with Mom

"You're home late tonight." I explained to Mom why I was later than normal before she went upstairs leaving Bella and I alone to talk.

We sat there in silence for a minute before I noticed that someone was missing, "Where is Tanya?"

"She's with my dad. He took the day off to spend with me and to make sure I went to see my doctor."

"Are you ok?"

"Oh, Edward!" She started crying, "I didn't mean to be a bitch to you last night. I'm so sorry."

I walked over and sat down on the couch next to her and pulled her into my arms, "It's ok, Bella. I won't pretend that I wasn't angry with you, because I was. But I think the anger was more that I was hurt there was something bothering you and you wouldn't talk to me about it. Instead, you lashed out at everyone."

"I know. It's just harder than I thought it would be. I thought I'd made my peace with it all, only to have the calendar bring it all back."

"I don't understand."

"In a couple of weeks will be the one year, well, I don't want to call it an anniversary like it's something to celebrate." She sighed, groaned and hid her face in her hands for a moment. On February 5th it will have been one year since they…"

She didn't need to finish that. I knew what was bothering her. That looming date had made her demons resurface. Now that I knew what it was I could try to help her. I didn't know how to do that exactly, but I did now that on that night she would be sufficiently distracted in I had to enlist the entire town to help me.