Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure.

Synopsis: Set at the start of Season One, Dean had been in a wheelchair since his father disappeared more than a year ago and he finally has to tell Sam… There'd been an accident that night and Dean had paid a very high price….one he still doesn't understand. The story will have some hunts from season one and possibly into season two…the brothers will continue their search for their father…there will be alterations to the hunts to accommodate Dean's new situation. I have every intention of returning Dean to good health before this ends…but getting there is going to be bumpy.

Please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so all grammatical errors are my own. Not Slash. Brotherly love and Angst only…

Please Review: So I know there's still interest

Previous Chapter:

"So what's the plan here boys?"

Dean inhaled and pushed his own concerns down. "We need to find out who had that gun last…we know it was made by Samuel Colt…but the history gets a bit wonky after that."

Sam's eyes flashed up to his brother's in surprise. There was no earthy reason that Dean should know that much about a mythical gun that no one had ever seen. His gaze was boring a hole into the center of Dean's head when his brother's strange gaze lifted to meet the general vicinity of his. "Stop staring at me, Sam…feels like you're trying to crawl inside my head."

"Wh…what?" His brother's response had pushed Sam off balance…how could Dean know that? "Wait, Dean how'd you even know I was looking at you?"

Dean shrugged. "I could feel it. Like you're trying to read my damn mind or something."

Bobby's eyebrows shot up at that. That could be useful. "Care to explain that?"

Dean huffed and cracked his back…god did that feel good… "Not really, no."

"Do it anyways, Dean." Sam answered quickly.

"Whatever dude…look I don't know...I could just feel that Sam wanted something from me. Like when someone is watching you from across the room or something." He blew an exasperated breath and started hauling himself to his feet. "I need to use the head. You two sit here and stew."

He started walking in the direction of the bathroom. Stopping when his booted toe touched something that growled at him. "Move it, Bailey." Dean knew it was Bobby's junkyard dog. The old Rottweiler picked himself up and shuffled out of Dean's way.

"Don't take out yer frustration the dog, Dean." Bobby said evenly as he watched the boy find the wall and use it as a 'guide' to the bathroom.

Dean rolled his eyes as he stepped into the small room and pushed the door shut behind him. He sank onto the closed lid of the toilet and his carefully erected facade of control fell apart. All the restraint he'd been exerting over the last two days drained away and he leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. He'd seen that damn gun once…a long time ago. And he hated the memory that erupted with the mere mention of the colt. Damn their father for creating this problem in the first place. He hadn't known that's what it was at the time…but he definitely couldn't explain to Sam how he knew the general area to go looking for that gun. His little brother would never let him go if he knew…

Secrets…Dean was getting so damn sick and tired of the Winchester family secrets. He had to come up with another lie…one that Sam would believe. Because the alternative was unthinkable...Sam would go without him.

"Castiel?" He prayed outloud.

He heard the now familiar rustle of wings. "What do you need, Dean?" The deep voice of the angel caused him to jump slightly, since it came from directly to his right.

"I need your help."

"I am already helping you." The angel said evenly.

"No…I need you to help me pull a memory out. The answer is buried in my head…I was too messed up at the time…everything's all pieces and parts." Dean swallowed and leaned back. He looked up where the bright light that was angel stood motionless.

"I do not understand what you want me to do?"

Dean's eyelids dropped closed and he inhaled slowly. This was really going to suck. "I need you to walk me through a memory so I can piece it together." He paused. "It's…nasty…and I gotta make sure Sam can't feel any of it."

"Ah…you are worried about the destiny link?"

Dean gulped down his fear. "Can you do it or not?"

Castiel looked closely at this human that he was rapidly gaining respect for and raised an eyebrow as he thought. "Yes."

"Then do it." The next sensation Dean felt was two fingers directly between his eyes and he was thrown back into his memories.

XXXX

Chapter 50

Dreamscape: Part One

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table. His hands folded quietly as he waited for his waffles. He smiled at baby Sammy. His little brother was 'cooing' from his place in a small playpen on the floor. The smell of warm maple syrup was wafting through the air and he inhaled deeply. Green eyes panned over to where Mary was flipping the waffles out of the waffle maker. She grinned back at the four year old.

John waltzed into the dining room and ruffled Dean's hair affectionately before pulling his wife into a hug from behind.

"Waffles? Who's idea was that?" John winked at Dean as Mary laughed.

"Mine daddy." Dean said through a grin.

"For dinner?" He moved to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of orange juice and filled Dean's cup up.

"Yup…" Dean was immediately reaching for the drink.

John grinned and looked down at Sam. "Should we fix Sammy a plate?"

"No daddy…he's too little." Dean's face lit up at the mention of his little brother. Sam blew a bubble of spit as John leaned over him and gently wiped it off the infants face.

A knock on the door broke up the family dinner and John ruffled Dean's hair as he stood up to answer it. Neither Mary or Dean followed.

XXXX

Dean heard the screaming before he understood what was happening. He was immediately running for his little brother's room. John wasn't as fast as his four year old. Dean shoved the door of the nursery open and his mouth dropped open in a silent scream of terror. A man was leaning over the crib and his mother was sliding up the wall. A bloody gash across her abdomen had him trying to get to her.

The man with the mustard yellow eyes laughed at his efforts. The man turned and moved toward the frozen child. He reached out and touched Dean's hair, a shock rocketed through Dean's small body.

"I almost wish it'd been you." The man said through yellowed teeth. And then he was gone…

John grabbed his shoulders and after his own scream of denial, he rushed into the room grabbing the crying baby and thrusting him into Dean's tiny arms.

"Take your brother outside. Go Dean, now. And don't look back."

Dean cradled Sammy into his small body and carefully picked his way down the stairs as fast as he could. He felt his foot slip and he sank back onto his butt in order to regain his balance. He felt like someone was watching him as he shoved his way out of the house and into the front yard. And that was the first time he disobeyed his father. He turned around the looked.

The window where Sam's room was at was filled with flames. They were licking the sides and travelling up the house toward the roof. And he saw someone…and a flash of the man's yellow eyes scared him. This man wasn't burning in the flames of the house…and neither was his father. John was next to the man for a moment and then he was gone.

Sammy started to cry and Dean held him closer. "Shh…Sammy…it's okay…I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." He whispered to the baby as he hugged him. Sam calmed almost instantly and the next thing Dean knew he was being swept up in the arms of his father.

XXXX

Dean watched as the rain fell against the window of the motel room. He sighed as he turned back toward the small bag of food on the table. It was all his father had left him when he'd taken off in the morning. Sammy was rubbing his eyes as he wandered into the room. The five year old was growing quickly and Dean immediately went to get him something to eat.

"Where's daddy?" Sam's small voice hit a chord inside Dean and he cringed as he pulled out a hamburger and set it on a plate. His little brother groaned at the choice of food "Gross…can I have lucky charms?"

Dean eyed the box on the counter. It was almost empty; he ignored the hunger pang from his own stomach as he grabbed the box and a bowl.

Sam jumped around in his chair.

"Sit down, before you get hurt." Dean was just setting the bowl down when Sam slipped on the wooden chair. He wasn't quick enough to stop his brother's fall. He would remember the crack of Sam's arm for the rest of his life. It sounded like celery being broken in half.

His little brother's wail of pain brought tears to the nine year old's green eyes as he tried to hold Sam.

"Owe…it hurts, Dean…" Huge tears were rolling out of Sam's blue-green eyes as he held onto the limp arm.

"Shhh…Sammy, I know. But we're gonna get you taken care of." Dean held his brother while his heart flew into his throat. He didn't know where their father was and the slowly oozing blood and the white of the bone in Sam's forearm told him that his brother needed a hospital.

Dean wracked his brain for an alternative but the only one that kept coming up was uncle Bobby. He knew that his father would be pissed…but there were no other options.

XXXX

Dean watched as Sammy was sedated so the doctor could surgically set his arm. It was the worst thing he'd ever seen, his little brother lying motionless on the huge hospital bed. He glanced over at the fuming form of their father and he wanted to curl up in a corner. He'd done this. He'd failed to protect Sam and he'd gotten hurt.

The smell of the hospital was making him feel sick. They always did. The disappointed look on his father's face wasn't helping…there was something else there that Dean didn't recognize. Something angry and it was being directed at him.

They were able to take Sam home the next day, his father still had yet to say anything to him. Bobby had left after John arrived and Dean had desperately wished that the older hunter had stayed. For the first time in Dean's young life his father actually scared him.

Sam was sleeping on the bed in the back bedroom when John finally broke his silence.

"What the hell were you thinking, Dean?" John stomped through the kitchen and Dean slumped in the chair. "I only ask you to do one thing…one simple thing. Take care of Sammy." He threw his hands up in the air. "And you can't even do that right. What if he'd died, Dean? Broken his neck or something? How would you feel then?"

Dean couldn't get the image of Sam lying quietly on the hospital sheets out of his head and suddenly the smell of the sterile environment invaded his senses and his stomach rebelled. He bit back the bile hoping to avoid puking all over the floor of the kitchen. It only took a moment before he was racing to the bathroom to vomit up the meager amount of food he'd eaten in the last two days. His father followed.

"I should hope this whole thing makes you sick to your stomach!" John's words were biting and cruel. He watched as his son heaved over the toilet, his small shoulders shaking with the effort. "If you think this is going to get you out of being punished for this…you're wrong."

Dean sat back and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. "Yes sir." He mumbled.

John stood up and waited for him to do the same. Dean's knees were shaky but he managed to lock them as he slowly followed his father out of the bathroom to the window looking out at the school behind the motel. "See that track?" John pointed at the wet dirt track that circled the back of the school's excuse for a football field.

"Yes sir."

"Twenty laps."

Dean's eyes widened. He'd only ever run with his father and that was like one maybe two laps…and it was pouring rain.

"But—" He started and stopped when he saw the fire in his father's eyes.

"Go Dean. Now." John needed to get Dean out of the motel before he did something that he would regret. He was so angry at his eldest sons lack of personal responsibility that he wasn't thinking straight right now. Something flashed in his eyes that sent Dean scurrying from the room.

He pushed the door of his and Sam's shared room open and his heart flip-flopped at the sight of Sam's bright white cast. Dean swallowed and went to the closet to pull out his converse shoes. They weren't really running shoes, but he didn't have anything else.

XXXX

Castiel watched as Dean ran and ran…he stopped twice to dry heave and then start running again. The rain was drenching the kid as he made his way around on his fifteenth lap. A flash of lightning in the distance had Castiel glancing in that direction for a moment. The pounding of Dean's feet through the puddles brought him back to the present.

He actually hated that he had to walk through these private memories, but the key to saving Dean was locked in here somewhere. And what he was learning about the young Winchester was nothing short of shocking and amazing. How Dean had turned out as well as he had was beyond the angel. Dean was capable of loving someone unconditionally, although he'd never been shown that in his entire life. Not even by Sam.

As Dean ran past him on the next lap he heard the rasp in the kids chest. He was getting sick doing what his father wanted. And Castiel couldn't help; this wasn't really happening…it had already happened in the past. The angel couldn't help but wonder how much of this Sam was even aware of…knowing Dean? None of it.

Another crack of thunder shot through the sky and caused Dean to look over at the dark clouds. The storm was just circling the valley and it wasn't done yet. Castiel watched as the kid picked up the impossible pace, the air now searing his lungs as he tried to breathe through the dropping temperatures.

John stepped out onto the field. He was watching as the boy ran around the track on his nineteenth lap, his feet splashing through the rain as he pushed his small body harder than he should. He never said a word of encouragement or praise, he simply watched as Dean stopped one more time to almost puke on the last lap.

XXXX

In retrospect, this was when it all started. The very moment that John no longer considered Dean worthy of his trust. But considering that he would still need to hunt, there was no other option than to leave Sam in Dean's care. John never left without shoving Dean's responsibility for Sam down his throat. It was a lesson that the kid needed to understand on a cellular level. Caring for his little brother had to be so ingrained in him that Dean couldn't let anything happen to the little boy without suffering soul crushing guilt.

It was potentially the only way to save both of his sons from the fate that they'd been born to.

TBC…

Author's Note: Sorry this isn't the whole chapter, but I really wanted to get the chapter up. The next chapter has the conclusion of this 'dream walk'. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thank you to everyone that read and reviewed the last chapter, mb64, LeeMarieJack, theangelcas, a reader, BranchSuper, two different guests, gr8read, and ncsupnatfan. Sorry it's been so long since the last update, life suddenly got very busy. I will get the other half out quickly.

Please Review: It only takes a moment and I promise I'll get the other half of this chapter up.