Chapter 46

Sheriff Drake was angrily declaring that he'd been forced into saying what he had, that Gibbs had manipulated him, that he had lied, that he'd make them pay.

For his part, Gibbs knew that this could be challenged, but it was a confession. The DA would work with that and there was so much evidence in addition that he couldn't imagine them not pursuing the charge of murder.

Instead of letting Tony and Kate enjoy watching Sheriff Drake squirm, he pulled them out and they went back to headquarters.

In a way, getting Sheriff Drake to confess was rather anticlimactic. They had already been convinced that he was guilty. They already had him for numerous other charges.

And yet, at the same time, there was a deep abiding satisfaction in knowing that it was highly unlikely that this criminal would get away with what he'd done.

And Tim wouldn't be the one paying the price for Mary's death.

It was just that, like Tim had said before, it didn't really change the fact that Mary had died, that she had been living in fear with no one to talk to, and that the town had easily put the blame on Tim.

They couldn't change the past, but they were all more determined than ever to make sure the future was better for Tim himself.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Stan hung up the phone. He felt no joy, no satisfaction at hearing Gibbs' news. It was terrible that the truth was the worst Gibbs could have suggested. Even knowing that it was the most likely, even knowing the evidence he had gathered himself, Stan was not happy to know that Sheriff Drake was a murderer and that he was, all around, a terrible person.

He had promised to keep Ducky updated, though, and he supposed that this was as good a time as any to let him know that Tim was officially in the clear for Mary's murder.

"Ned, hold down the fort. I'm going to the hospital to talk to Ducky."

"Okay. Alan's been pretty quiet."

"Good. Maybe's he finally thinking," Stan said, grimly.

Then, he left.

When he got to the hospital, he walked quickly to Ducky's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

He stepped inside.

"Hey, Ducky."

Ducky was still in his hospital bed, but he was looking much better than he had been, and right now, he was looking at Stan rather quizzically.

"Are you here officially?"

"No. Not really."

"You seem rather glum, Stan."

"I am."

"About what, if I might ask you?"

"Sheriff Drake is officially being charged with murder."

Ducky sat up and his eyes widened.

"What?"

"Yeah."

"You're not happy about it. Do you think it's not true?"

"I'm not happy about it, but not because I think it's not true."

"Ah, then, it's because it is true."

"Yeah." Stan sat down and sighed. "I never liked Alan, you know. He was fine as a boss, but not a very nice person. I would never have wanted to hang out with him, but I never had any reason to think that it went beyond that. Now..."

"Does that mean that Timothy is officially in the clear?"

"Yeah. That's the only good thing about this whole mess. Tim couldn't have done it. Not only because of these charges, but because he literally could not have done it. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to find the truth and I don't want Tim to be the one to suffer for it. I guess I was hoping that it would turn out to be a random passerby. I can't change what happened, but then, it wouldn't be that I misread someone so badly."

"I understand that you're not happy to find out something so negative, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved that the truth has come out and vindicated Timothy. Once I'm freed from this room, I think I'll go to Lincoln and visit him to see how he's doing."

"When will that be?"

"Today, I hope, although my home isn't yet repaired from what I understand."

"No, it's not, but they are rushing it. When you do get out, you have a couple of options of where to stay."

"A couple? Who's offered?"

"Well, I think most people would. I have a spare room you could use for as long as you need to. But Henry Swenson has offered."

"Henry has?" Ducky asked, incredulously. "That is a very big surprise. He doesn't let anyone step inside his house, let alone invite people to stay."

"Well, he already shocked me once, so the additional surprise wasn't too much."

"As kind as the invitation is, I think I would prefer to stay with you."

"My pleasure."

"Good. Now, I just need to get released by my doctor. Perhaps things can start looking up."

"Yeah, maybe," Stan said. "But I think it might be just a little bit too soon for things to look up."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

When Gibbs got back to his desk, he instantly knew something was wrong, but he wasn't sure what it was. He was staring at his desk, wondering what it was that was out of place, when Rachel came in.

"Gibbs, where is Tim?" she asked.

"What do you mean, Rachel?" Kate asked. "Tim came with Gibbs. He stayed here while we went to interrogate Sheriff Drake. He has to be here."

"He's not in the building," Rachel said. "Abby and I have looked from top to bottom. We even checked around the grounds. He's not here."

Gibbs looked at his desk again, and thought back to when he had first arrived.

"My keys are missing," he said.

He ran out of the building to the parking lot and saw that his car was gone. Tony and Kate had followed behind him.

"He took my car."

"But where would he go?" Tony asked. "He doesn't have anywhere to go, does he?"

"Yes, he does," Gibbs said. "He has one place."

"Why would he go back to Hazard, though?" Kate asked. "He said himself that he hated it and he had nothing in it he wanted to see again."

"Because it's what he knows?" Tony guessed.

Gibbs thought back to the night before. Tim's mind had been on his mother, but Gibbs' natural reaction would be to think that Tim was glad to be away from the complications she had presented for him.

And yet, at the same time, it was as if Tim was looking for a reason to think better of her than he did when he let himself. And besides, really, where else could he possibly have to go? Gibbs wasn't even sure that Tim remembered the name of the town he had lived in before. Certainly, he'd never spoken it.

In reality, Hazard was the only logical option, even if the reason for it wasn't quite clear.

Rachel spoke his thoughts.

"Hazard is the only place he could really be," she said. "I don't know what his purpose would be, necessarily, but that's where we should look."

"I'll call Stan," Gibbs said.

"Good idea. He can start looking, but we should get there to bring him back out of there," Rachel said. "Tim might hate Hazard, but getting him out is very difficult to do and he'll have a hard time leaving on his own." She looked at Gibbs. "And you should be one of the people going, Gibbs. You've presented yourself as an alternative to what he's had. You need to keep that up so that he knows you mean it."

"Gotta get my car back," Gibbs said.

Rachel smiled. "I'll give you a ride."

Gibbs smiled a little and then looked at Kate and Tony.

"We'll get everything recorded and logged," Tony said. "You coming back tonight?"

"That's the plan," Gibbs said.

"Let us know," Kate said.

Gibbs nodded and then, he and Rachel left to go back to Hazard.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim stopped the car. He did feel kind of bad about taking Gibbs' car. He knew that Gibbs would be angry at him. Maybe this would be the straw the broke the camel's back and he'd give up. In a way, it would be a relief. There was no struggle if no one cared.

He got out and took a few steps.

Then, he stopped and stared.

The Hazard cemetery gates stood in front of him. They were never closed. People didn't care enough to worry about someone going in at night.

In this case, though, it wasn't nighttime. It was the afternoon, and the sun was shining brightly.

It didn't make him want to step into the cemetery any more than he had before.

Finally, he took a deep breath and walked into the haven of death.

Tim hated the cemetery. He hated death. It was such a terrible thing, horrifying, at least as he had experienced it.

Still, he was being almost dragged forward by some force.

He walked by the graves, trying not to look at them, trying not to imagine what had brought these people here.

Then, he got to a grave he had only been to one other time in his life.

He read the name.

Margaret McGee

The gravestone was very simple. Tim had no idea whether or not he had chosen it. That whole period had been a blur to him.

He stood, staring at the grave for a while. Then, he sat down beside it. He sat there for a while. Then, he scooted close to it and leaned against it, resting the back of his head on the cold stone. He stared up at the sky and then closed his eyes.

"Everything that's gone wrong in my life is in my head. It's all there," he said softly. "But I don't know how to let it out. I hid it for so long that it seems stuck inside me. Everything you did, everything I saw. It's all there in my head. I can't get rid of it. You never touched me, but I feel like I've been eaten alive by what I saw you do."

Tim felt his throat tighten and he sniffled, trying to hold the emotion inside. He took loud trembling breaths.

"Even though you're dead, you're there, hovering out of sight, leaving me terrified. I was afraid to leave and I was afraid of staying. I hovered in middle of terror for most of my life. I pushed it all away until I didn't even know what I was afraid of. What do I do, now? I have nothing, nothing to live for. I never did, but I just lived anyway...but I've seen that there's more. I know what I've missed. I don't see how I can get it because you're always there."

He felt the oppression of Hazard, of the death all around him.

"It's so hard to hide the scars inside me. It's so hard to see you looking out of my eyes. It must be hard for other people to look at me, too. Maybe they can see you looking out of my eyes, too."

He didn't know how long he sat there, but he didn't move.

"I never could tell you what I knew, and there was no one else to tell. What do I do? I don't know why I'm asking you. You never helped me, not once in my life. Everything that I experienced was made worse, whether you knew it or not. I don't know how much is Dad's fault. I still have that hatred that you gave me. This is with me forever."

He took a long deep breath.

"I hate this place. I hate everything about it. But it has my whole life in it. Because it's where you are. And all I have is nothing."

There was another long silence as he sat on his mother's grave.

Then, the silence was broken.

"You may not have anything here, but you can have something away from here."

Tim sat up quickly and opened his eyes. He found himself staring at Stan Burley who was crouching in front of him.

"How long have you been here?" he asked.

"Long enough."

"Why?"

"Why are you here?" Stan asked.

"I don't know," Tim said.

"I'm here because Gibbs called me and asked me to look for you. You left them pretty worried back there in Lincoln."

Tim couldn't think of many times when he'd had any kind of conversation with Stan. He wasn't sure what to expect from him. He didn't say anything.

"And since you're here, I'm also here to say thank you."

"What for?"

Stan smiled. "For saving my life. I would have died in that shed, and I really didn't want to. I'm not ready for that yet. You stopped it from happening, and I'm grateful for it."

Tim shrugged.

"I didn't want anyone else to burn."

"Yeah. And I wanted to apologize. It's a day late and a dollar short, but while I don't think I ever treated you badly, I didn't think about you like I should have. You kept yourself isolated and I let it be that way. I let the way others thought of you be the way I thought of you, too. I just didn't take the time to find out for myself, and that was wrong. I'm sorry."

"I don't know what to say," Tim said. "I've never had anyone apologize to me before. At least, not for treating me wrong."

"Well, you don't have to say anything. I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"And Gibbs will be here soon."

"I guess he wants his car back."

"Yeah, I'm sure he does, but I don't think that's why he's coming."

"Oh."

"So do you want to wait here or do you want to leave?"

Tim looked around.

"I don't even know why I came here," he said. "I don't like it here. I hate it."

"I don't know why you did, either."

Stan stood up.

"So why stay?"

He held out his hand. Tim looked at it and then at Stan. Then, he took a breath and let Stan help him up.

"Come on. You can visit Ducky. He's crashing at my place until his house is repaired."

Tim paused and looked back at his mother's grave. He'd lived so long with her hovering in the back of his mind, always there, always that frightening shadowy figure, even though she'd never hurt him or threatened him in any way.

"Come on, Tim. No reason to stay here. The dead are going to stay dead. Focus on living, instead."

One last look and then Tim followed Stan out of the cemetery.