Thanks to not only Nance for proofing, but IcarusLSU for flow, Sarajm for idea bouncing, and Heatherlly for some paragraph structuring and word help!

Nance, FeedtheFlames, Shelle-ma-belle, and Mattew72...thank you so much for your reviews!

Ok, so it's been over a year in the timeline of this story, I think it's time to have a totally Gwaine chapter :) maybe give him a little reward for all the angst I've put him through... Please review if you would be so kind!


Gwaine's plan, when he was finally released from duty, included stopping by the liquor store on the way...

'The way where?' He asked himself.

Home was with Laney and the boys, technically, but he didn't think his sister would appreciate him getting completely shitfaced at home...which is all he wanted to do right now. He'd pushed the hallucination he'd had to the back of his mind. With so much happening in the aftermath of the battle, it was easy to do.

When Merlin went down, it was the furthest thing from his mind. With Arthur nearby, it was easy to ignore. Once Merlin and Arthur had been transported...that was when the doubts began to set in. He hadn't slept properly in days.

When he finally arrived back on Earth, he was assessed physically and found to be in rather good condition, considering the circumstances. The laceration on his head was superficial. He had made an appointment with the grief counselor, as per protocol for everyone on the mission.

He had seen Arthur, and made sure he was alright; who then finally saw fit to inform Gwaine of the recent revelations regarding Merlin's health, and his connection to the missing dragon. He asked if the sword could help give his friend a boost. Arthur reluctantly admitted, it was still on board Leon's ship. After Merlin's mention of it in front of the others, they seemed too keen on the idea of studying it for his liking.

Merlin was still comatose...nearly dead to the world. Some sort of weird brain aneurysm, was the closest words Carolyn was able to use to describe it. Though, she had made certain to tell them, that according to the scans and tests, whatever had happened, didn't appear to be part of what was affecting him now.

Martha had flown in on the first available flight. She was currently alternating between sitting at her husband's bedside, and working with Carolyn to figure out a way to bring Merlin out of the coma.

There were a dozen or so messages from his sister on his phone. He all but ignored them, sending her a single text saying he was back, and alive. Then, he stuffed the phone into a bag in his locker, and walked away. He would deal with her wrath later, when he had a better idea of what direction he wanted to go. Arthur had said, they'd figure something out, but as of yet...nothing had been decided, or even discussed.

For a couple of hours, Gwaine had actually thought he was going to be alright. He just wanted a bit of space. He'd managed to deal with the dream, vision, hallucination...whatever the hell it was...by continuing to ignore it, until he'd found out that SG-1 had returned with Daniel Jackson and the real Vala Mal Doran.

The fact they had returned, and had saved both people, wasn't the issue. The problem came when he had overheard them discussing what had transpired.

Jackson had indeed Ringed aboard the Ori ship, which happened to be the same one Vala was being kept on. She had mentioned, when she was in Jackson's body, that she was pregnant. When the archaeologist had found her, she wasn't anymore. The child had been taken from her by a Prior. It seemed her pregnancy was nothing more than an underhanded way of...as Vala put it so eloquently..."Sneaking one of their own over the border."

In the rules of Ascension, the beings of that other dimension weren't allowed to interfere directly. However, putting all their knowledge into a child born of a human, was a way to get around it. Genetic manipulation had caused the girl to become full grown in about a day.

Sitting next to Merlin's bedside, he'd overheard them discussing the issue while Vala was recovering in her own hospital bed. The girl's name was Adria, and supposedly looked very similar to her human mother, with dark hair and pale skin. Gwaine shivered when they mentioned how her eyes had a constant reddish-orange glow. A memory of a similar woman coming unbidden into his mind.

He was startled and somehow knocked over the nearby tray-table when they said a word that struck a chord of fear, deep inside him. She was being called, by the followers of the Ori, as 'The Orici.' The hallucination's voice resounded in his head...Morgana, whispering the same word.

Orici.

In a flash, the memories came back with a flood of feelings...failure and desperation; the hours of torture, with Morgana gloating over him. Eira's betrayal, and the remorseless loathing when she was discovered. Her eyes, he once thought so soft and kind, were hard as stone and cold as ice.

Mitchell had turned to look at the noise of the tray hitting the floor. "You okay, man?"

Gwaine shook his head, barely hearing the question. He needed to get the hell out of there. No way...there was no way she could have returned. Merlin had assured him she was dead and gone. Glancing down at his friend, he wondered what else Arthur and the others had forgotten to tell him.

It hurt to think that they'd forgotten to keep him in the loop on what appeared to be a few serious issues. He heard the sound of giggling, Across the room, he saw her sitting up on one of the other beds, a blue hospital gown covering her body. She smiled slightly and raised her eyebrows. 'How does it feel to know you had betrayed your king?'

"No..." He winced, rubbing his hands roughly over his eyes. When he looked again, it was a brunette woman sitting in the bed, not even looking at him.

He shook his head and waved off Mitchell's hand, not even remembering when his friend had approached. "I need some air."


The stars twinkled above, but his gaze was fixed on the ground in front of him. He didn't want to think about what, or who, might be up there.

"Hey, Gwaine."

"Carolyn." He stiffened and cast a glance behind him. Instinctively, he cupped his hand around an object he was holding, trying unsuccessfully to hide the small white plume emanating from it.

She smirked, unfazed by what she saw. "People have been looking for you."

He shrugged and exhaled a white puff of smoke with a cough. "How'd you find me?"

"I remember you telling me once, that you used to smoke, but gave it up."

"Damn...Busted." He took the last drag off the nearly burnt cigarette. He watched, as the glowing cherry of embers on the end flare to life one last time, before knocking it off on the sole of his boot, and scuffing the hot ashes into the dirt where they fell. Tossing the spent filter into a nearby trash can, he turned to her. "I stole that off of a tech sergeant. First one in...frack, I don't know how many years."

"As a doctor, I should tell you how bad it is for you, and all that. After all you've been through, though..."

"Yep." He answered before she was finished, effectively cutting her off.

She watched him for a moment, trying to assess what was going on, under the surface. "Did something happen up there? I mean, aside from the obvious."

His dark brown eyes closed for a moment. His mind was still reeling from hearing that voice, even if it had only been in his mind. Part of him wanted to brush off her concern and walk away from it all, but if this new threat...this Orici...really was somehow connected to Morgana, it wasn't something he could hold back about.

He sat on top of a picnic table, inhaling the warm air brought from a southern wind. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a nearly empty pack of cheap cigarettes. Gwaine noticed her eyes shift from the pack to his face. "He took pity on me, gave me the last three he had on him."

She smiled, but didn't say a word. Sitting down at another picnic table, directly across from him, she motioned for him to continue his train of thought.

"Before I was extracted from the sixth century, I was tortured." He said, after lighting the smoke. It felt odd, and sort of liberating, to finally admit it out loud to someone other than his shrink, or his sister. Of course, she had known that, being the Base Doctor, and having saved his life when he was brought back through. There were parts about it no one knew, except Merlin.

"...By none other than Morgana, herself, just days after we thought we lost Arthur at Camlann.

"When I was knocked out on the Odyssey...or starting to come to...I don't bloody know which...I saw my worst fracking nightmare come to life. Morgana was walking towards me, taunting me. 'I've been reborn'...or some shit like that...Proclaiming she was a new Goddess of the stars...'I am the Orici.'"

"Damn. It was probably something you overheard, or..."

"Nope, that was still in the heat of the battle. I didn't find out about that whole Orici thing until less than an hour ago, when I overheard Mitchell and the others talking about it. One hell of a coincidence if I dreamt it..." He chuckled sourly. "I remember Arthur telling me...Morgana used to have prophetic dreams when she was young...Prelude to her going all 'dark side of the force' with her magic and shit. I don't know how or why...but..." He took a deep breath and continued to stare at the ground. The cigarette hanging loosely, and hardly touched, from between his fingers.

Carolyn studied him intently. "Did she say anything else?"

"She said I was once the strongest. I remember back then, traveling with Merlin, some little wizard called me Strength, too.

"A part of me doesn't want to be strong anymore. Old Merlin...he didn't even complain when he was asked to try and save Colonel Carter...Not a single word about how something like that could hurt him. I don't know if those guys trust me enough to tell me these things, after what I did back then...or what."

"You are strong. Hell, you would have to be, to survive all this and still be able to maintain a shred of sanity." Standing up, she walked over and took the smoke from his hand.

He watched with unabashed longing as she put it out, and then held out her hand to him.

"Come on. Let's go get your things and get you out of here. I already cleared it with the General. I'm taking you home with me tonight."

"The General cleared it for his daughter to take a man home?" His eyebrows lifted in an attempted teasing motion.

She glanced to the side, in a slight admission of guilt. "I may not have made it clear where I was taking you."


The condo apartment was quiet, with none of the neighborly noises that usually came with thin walls. He sat uneasily on the couch, a half-empty beer bottle in his hand. Picking at the edges of the label, he absently turned it around, seemingly fascinated by the brown glass.

Carolyn plucked it from his fingers and set it on the coffee table. "Want to talk?"

"Not particularly."

She watched his face studiously; her fingers traced circles on the base of his neck. "Gwaine, we've been dating for a while, right?"

He chuckled and grinned, "Yeah, I suppose we have."

"So, tell me..." Her hand stilled and she gave him a teasing smirk. "What's the real reason I haven't been able to get anywhere with you?"

He slouched into the cushions and ran his hands nervously over his scalp.

She sat next to him, her knees tucked under her. Delicate fingers brushed his jawline, rough with stubble. "Are you opposed to sex before marriage?" Although she highly doubted it was the case, Carolyn wanted to put the question out there, just to get him to talk to her.

"Noo..." Placing a hand across her knees, he rubbed his palm over her jeans. He had wondered about the reason himself. Each time they would get close, something inside him would shut down, and pull away. "I just don't know if I'm good enough for a woman like you." He lied.

His eyes shifted to meet hers. Carolyn untucked her legs and moved closer. Placing a hand on each of his shoulders, she straddled his lap. Her dark hair framed her tanned complexion, as she leaned in and kissed him gently. "I don't know why would think that. You're an amazing man, Gwaine Dallon. You just need to let go, and realize that for yourself."

He searched her eyes for any deception. There was only serious concern, not the patronizing expression he had expected, or seen from others. He wondered what really had been holding him back from going all the way with such a beautiful woman. She was everything he thought he had loved about Eira. Strong...independant...smart...but, she was obviously so much different.

Admitting to himself, that Carolyn was nothing like the blond spy, who had stolen his heart as part of a ruse, seemed to be a bigger step than he realized. Her concern for him held no hidden agenda. She was genuine. She was real. Why else would she have stuck with him over the past few months?

Morgana may have found a way to return, but Gwaine realized if he pushed away from the woman who was currently pressing herself against him enticingly, the witch would win. It had been over a year in his timeline since that had all taken place. He had doubted some days, like during the entire past week, if he would ever be over it.

Carolyn's fingers entwined around the back of his neck and she pulled his face closer to hers. "Are you still thinking?" She asked, her lips barely brushing against his; soft and light.

Gwaine had a choice. He could fall into old patterns of drinking and other habits as a way to cope, or he could fall into something else. Like Carolyn's bed perhaps, he thought with a sudden, devilish grin, as she gently tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth. Gwaine couldn't let them win; those bitches of his past life. He needed to show them, show himself, that it was alright.

"Nope. I'm done with that for now." He grabbed her around her waist and pulled her tightly against him, his mouth met hers in a sudden outpouring of heated passion.


It was still dark, but the dim gray of twilight had started to highlight the edges of the horizon. A shrill ringtone cut through the stillness.

She felt so cozy and comfortable curled up under the covers. When she shifted, the blanket fell away and she felt the draft from the window that had been cracked open the night before. At the time, the room had seemed muggy and hot, but perhaps that had just been due to their lovemaking. Shivering, she sank down into the bed again, only to be startled when the phone rang again.

Bleary-eyed, her hand fumbled across the bed in the early morning chill, toward the table sitting off to the side. Her efforts were thwarted when a strong arm, that was laying across her hips, wrapped tightly around her and pulled her back against the warmth of his solid body. She almost decided to ignore the phone, but if it was work, it could be word about one of her patients, especially at this time of the morning.

Reluctantly, she wiggled her way out from under the masculine arm. The man next to her, just as naked as she was, after their shared passions, rolled onto his back, muttering in his sleep.

She recognized the number that displayed, but couldn't place who it belonged to. Swiping her thumb across the green answer symbol, she mumbled something that resembled a 'hello' around a wide yawn.

"Carolyn? Sorry to wake you. It's Laney."

Carolyn blinked, her mind beginning to work as she recognized the voice. "Hey. What's up?"

"Well..." Laney's voice didn't sound all that pleasant. "I finally recieved a text from Gwaine yesterday. 'I'm home. I'm alive.' Then, I didn't hear anything else from him. I've been up all night with a sick kid, and so, I decide with the time difference and all, I'd call Martha...you know, to see if she or Gwen had heard from their husbands; only to find out she's here in Colorado...Has been for a couple of days!...And guess what? The guys have been back for a few days, too."

Dark eyes blinked against the dimness of the room, attempting to follow the ranting coming from the phone. "Okay..." She said, not entirely sure what was going on.

Laney took a breath, apparently attempting to slow down. "Sorry. It's just been a very long couple of weeks. I'm trying to find my brother. Martha said he had some sort of freak out last night at the Base, while he was sitting with Merlin...who...Oh, god..." She took another heavy breath. "I just want to find him...make sure he's okay."

Carolyn felt a wave of guilt from her own selfishness. She remembered what her mother had gone through, before the divorce. Hank Landry had always been involved in some special project or classified mission. Growing up, she and her mother had resented the Air Force for taking him away from them so much. It wasn't until recently that Carolyn, now working on the same top secret project as her father, had begun to understand the purpose behind all the cloak and dagger.

Even 'being in the know,' it was hard watching those she cared for leave through the Stargate. When the Odyssey had missed its first scheduled check-in, the atmosphere in the Base had changed to one of concern, but everyone still went about their jobs. That was about the same time Laney had first called her, prying for information. Carolyn wasn't able to give her any answers.

By the time they had missed their second check-in, the mood had become more somber. Her own concern for Gwaine plagued her thoughts.

A few hours later, Bra'tac, a long-time Jaffa ally, came through the Gate with grim news about the battle.

When Bra'tac finally sent a subspace communication to Earth, they all feared the worst. Everyone kept themselves occupied, preparing...and hoping...to receive survivors. She had thought briefly about calling Laney, but without anything solid to report, she pushed it away.

Once the survivors did start coming through the Gate, everything was in a weird sort of organized chaos. There wasn't an idle person in the complex. It took a few days to get everyone and everything situated. She had assumed that Gwaine had called his sister during that time.

"Laney, he's fine." She finally said into the phone. "One second, I'll let you talk to him."

Laying her hand on Gwaine's shoulder, she shook him lightly.

He forced his eyes open, and smiled. "Mmm, I must be dreaming..." He whispered huskily. His face turned to a grimace, when she handed him the phone. "'ello?"

"God damnit, Gwaine. Where the hell have you been?"

"Shit, 'Lane...it's four o'clock in the freaking morning."

"...And I haven't heard from you in how long? Frack. I thought you'd been killed or something!"

He exhaled gruffly. "I'm sorry. Things just got a little complicated."

A pause in the conversation stretched out between them. Finally, when he almost thought that their call had been dropped, she spoke again. He could hear the emotion tearing up her voice. "When are you coming home?"

When I get my head on straight, he wanted to respond. The bed shifted underneath him. His eyes slid over to the bronze-skinned goddess, walking naked into the bathroom. The sensuous curve of her backside was silhouetted against the sudden glare from the bathroom light. She cast an inviting smile over her shoulder.

"Today. Give me a couple of hours?"

"Alright, it's not like I can go into work anyway. All three boys are down with something...and hell, I don't know. We need to sit down and have a serious talk when you get here."

He didn't relish the thought of talking to his sister at the moment. She didn't need to be burdened with his issues, but he knew her, almost as well as he knew himself. Elaine Dallon was not a woman to let sleeping dogs lie.

After promising her, that he would be home before nine, Gwaine rolled himself out of the bed. He had come to a few decisions during the night, as he and Carolyn had lain awake in each others arms talking softly. He surprised himself by how much he had opened up to her during their pillow talk.

The Marines, the Stargate Program...they weren't for him anymore. He felt out of place, no matter how much he tried to fit into the world he had left behind years earlier. Merlin was in serious condition, partly because Gwaine hadn't been informed, probably as a simple oversight, on the discoveries of his friend's condition.

Funnily enough, it was when Carolyn had commented on how sexy his hair had been, and he had laughed, cheekily agreeing it was pretty damn hot, that the scale had tipped.

It wasn't the hair, but the life it represented; memories of a knight in Camelot, carefree and adventurous. Those days were long gone. It had taken so long, and so much back and forth with indecision to realize where he belonged.

Now that he'd been reunited here in the future with those he cared for most, he knew the truth...his place was with them. He still didn't know how he was going to accomplish the seemingly impossible task, under his current obligations to the SGC, but he knew he needed to find a way.

Arthur had helped him out initially, providing a solution that seemed as if it would allow him to do both. In the end, however, the emotional distance between himself and his friends felt no less real than the miles that separated them.

Despite the worry he felt, he allowed himself to smile, and force the thoughts to the back of his mind. Something he hadn't been able to do for a long time now.

Gwaine heard the water for the shower running. What amazed him most, was Carolyn's acceptance of his decision. While it meant a possible separation, if it gave him the stability he needed to move past what Morgana had done to him, she was happy to support him. He just needed to figure out the logistics...like how he was going to make a living, and not leave his responsibilities to his family behind. That was going to be the kicker of his coming conversation with his sister.

He walked into the bathroom, and studied the blurred outlines of her body behind the shower curtain.

"Mmm...nobody to page you away here...and no invisible Cameron to walk in on us." He said, pulling the curtain aside. He graced her with his old trademark 'come hither' smile.

She giggled, and then paused, "Wait. What? Mitchell was...? Oh. My. God!"