Hello there lovlies~ I apologise for disappearing, but loads of stuffage happened that will take forever to list :/ But I am back, so let's have some insanity in Oz ;D (I feel sorry for America in this, oh how I torture him~)

Just To Say: New Zealand says some things in Māori, translations are at the side in square brackets :)

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Fifty- Let's Go Camping! (HumahnaHumahnaHumahna, TheNextAlice, Maya Gordelia, Luna-Discord, Wenxi, Dragon356, agentscia, Kotoni-Chan, Soul and Heart, Americatress, OzzieLiber-Tea, NimayTheAirbender and Baylee Shadow's Requests)

As dusk began to befall the surrounding area, it looked as though a masterful artist had taken their brush and created something that was of sheer beauty, lavishing deep oranges and reds before powdering darker shades of blue and purple over it. The lush greenery appeared to come alive with weird and wonderful creatures breaking out into a wild chorus. There was even an expansive lake not far off to the right, the blue surface glittering like diamonds in the evening air. All of this combined was simply breath-taking, so it was a shame that the group of people that had just arrived in the jungle weren't paying it any attention at all.

"So..." England started as he shirked off his backpack and glanced around at his companions, "Will someone please explain to me why the bloody hell we're in the Australian wilderness?"

"Well we're here to go camping, I'm not sure why the fuck you decided to tag along," Scotland mumbled to one side, but England heard him regardless.

"Fancy saying that again, prick?" he hissed, causing Scotland to growl, and it looked as though a no holds barred brawl was about to erupt between the siblings before Australia chimed in happily, draping one arm over England.

"I'm glad ya decided to come~" he hummed, and England smiled softly before ruffling the Aussie's hair affectionately, the koala on his shoulder reaching out to paw at England's hand.

"I suppose it has been a while since I went camping with you," he said before he frowned a little. "Although America was the one who invited me... why did you want to go on a camping trip with him?"

"Because we don't trust that damn yank," Scotland spat.

"Damn straight!" Northern Ireland spoke up.

"I'm right here ya know!" America interjected, crossing his arms and glaring at England's brothers as he too dumped his rucksack on the ground.

"What's your point?" Scotland asked, brushing the glare aside and focusing on England. "Honestly little brother, I know you've got some weird tastes but that guy?"

"I have a name!" America said bitterly.

"Quiet yank, the grown-ups are talking," North said, prompting America to yell, "You're younger than me!"

While a pointless squabbling match broke out among North and America, England sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Is it just me... or do you also not seem to like America?" His voice seemed to hold a tinge of sadness and Australia looked upwards at the sky, not wanting to make eye contact.

"You're imagining it mum," he said softly before pulling the Brit into a hug. England returned the sentiments before sighing when he saw that a ridiculous slapping fight had ensued between America and North, with Wales and Scotland currently taking bets on who would win.

"Quit hitting me yank!" the russet-haired brother commanded.

"You're the one hitting me, Irish dude!"

All of a sudden North froze and stared dumbly at America. "You..."

"Oh shit," Wales muttered, looking over at Scotland who suddenly had a sadistic look of glee on his face. "Scotland, we really should-"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME 'IRISH'?!" North exploded, literally lunging towards the bewildered American who had to dodge quickly, before sprinting around where they had decided to make camp with an angry Northern Irishman chasing him.

"That idiot," England muttered, not even bothering to step in because America deserved whatever punishment his younger brother decided on.

The commotion somewhat subsided however, when a cheery voice called out, "Kia ora!" [G'day/ Hi]

Looking up, the group was met with the sight of a smiling... Man? Woman? It was hard to tell. They were about England's height, give or take a few centimetres, but they were donning fairly gender neutral clothes in the form of a white t-shirt and knee-length Khaki shorts. Even the hair didn't really give away their gender, in a short bob but with twists at the side, a bit like sheep horns. Granted the colour of it was weird though, leading one to think that maybe this new addition was a girl? Or maybe not.

What is that person's gender? America wondered, looking at the newcomer who was suddenly scowling in Australia's direction.

"You!" (s)he yelled, "E kai nga tutae me e mate!" [Eat shit and die!]

"Ouch, that's not very nice, Zea," Australia pouted, but that soon turned into a grin.

"New Zealand... what the bloody hell have you done to your hair?" England asked, looking at the violet strands with curiosity. Australia burst out laughing as New Zealand pointed at him and glared.

"He thought it would be funny to replace my shampoo with violet hair dye!"

"And you look beautiful~" Oz sang. "It even dyed your eyebrows! Classic."

"Kia tau!" [Shut up!]

"Honestly boys, play nicely," England sighed, looking between the two sternly before finally smiling and holding out his arms. "New Zealand!" he said happily, making his way over to the newcomer.

"Whaea!" [Mum] Zea beamed, embracing the blonde before pulling away in order to look over in America's general direction. Zea's turquoise eyes locked with America's slightly darker sky blue, and a sort of unspoken conversation took place before New Zealand looked away and suggested they start putting tents up along with a campfire.

And so it came to pass that half an hour later (it would have been done sooner but America's tent pegs had 'mysteriously disappeared' and managed to magically teleport themselves up into a tree), the group were all sat around a campfire being... well, as sociable and polite as they knew how.

"So let me get this straight: You don't have Rugby as a main sport?" New Zealand asked, pulling a face when America nodded.

"Dude, American Football is where it's at!" he said enthusiastically, huffing a bit when everyone else around the fire simply snorted and looked at him pityingly.

"Everyone knows that that girly America Football shite is just Rugby for pussies," North said, sticking his tongue out and collapsing into a fit of giggles when Wales and Scotland started prancing around saying:
"Ohhh, I must wear lots of protective gear because I'm scared of pain!"

"It's not like that!" America said defensively, looking towards England to back him up but the island nation simply shrugged and said, "For once I'm with them."

"Rugby is finally being made an Olympic sport!" New Zealand said happily. "The Gold will definitely be mine!"

"Pfft, the only Gold you have a chance of winning," Australia said, slinging an arm over Zea and winking.

"Oi, I did well this time!"

"If fifteenth can be counted as 'well' then yeah, you sure did mate!"

"You didn't do much better!" the violet haired nation shot back. "Actually I was thinking of getting some new silverware for when I have guests over, I'm sure you could help me out there, right Oz?"

"At least I won something!" the brunette defended, his koala nodding to confirm the affirmation.

"I suppose, although are you sure AUstralia is appropriate? I'm thinking you should change it to AGstralia."

"Boys," England sighed, "Would you stop making such a fuss? You both did well."

"But not as well as the good ol' US of A," America winked. "First place in the medals baby!"

"Yes, well, I'm still proud of a rather credible third," the gentleman said nonchalantly.

"Yup, fourth in China, third in London, we're aiming for second in Brazil and then first place in 2020!" Wales said, North adding, "Go Team GB!"

"Good luck with that," America snickered under his breath.

"D'ya say something yank?" Scotland asked, narrowing his eyes. "'Cause I think you'll find that if we go off population, we blew you yanks out the water!"

"But we don't go off population, dude," America grinned.

"Without swimming you'd be nothing."
"Same to you but with cycling."

Scotland let out a growl then, but before anything could escalate England glared at his companions. "Behave," he commanded, and when it looked as though America was about to say something to rile the Scotsman up further England whacked him upside the head. "I'm serious."

The American pouted and rubbed where England had hit, before he remembered something, his whole demeanour brightening as he reached for his bag and began routing around.

"America? What are you-?"

"Check it out Iggy!" America said happily, producing two big bags of marshmallows along with some crackers and chocolate. "We're gonna make smores, just... try not to summon the Devil this time, 'kay?"

"Th-That was one time! I am perfectly capable of making them!"

Australia suddenly seemed super enthusiastic about the current situation. "Mate, I love those things! Canada introduced me to 'em!"

"I like Canada," Scotland said rather decidedly.
"Yeah, me too," North agreed, while Wales was suddenly peering intently at America.
"You know... you look a lot like Canada. I guess a lot of people mistake you for him, right?"

America's mouth fell open, elbowing England when he began snickering. Somewhere in the world, Canada was busy cheering, "In your face America!"

Recovering from the initial shock, America pulled himself together and rooted around for a suitable stick to roast the marshmallows on. "So, uh, anyone know any jokes?" America asked in an attempt to lighten the mood, because although he didn't fully understand why England's brothers and Australia (possibly New Zealand, he wasn't sure) didn't like him, he knew that they did.

"Yeah, your face," Australia chuckled. America glared at him but New Zealand chimed in with, "I actually do have a joke." Zea turned to Australia and smiled, "It's one you should appreciate."

Australia looked at the other strangely, not liking where this was going already.

"Okay, so, The Pope and Julia Gillard-"

"Crikey, not a Julia Gillard joke!" Australia moaned. "I get enough of that from my own people already."

"No, I want to hear this now!" Scotland spoke up.

"But uncle-"

"Silence boy! New Zealand, please continue."

After shooting a look of superiority to the brunette, Zea continued, "So they're on the same stage at the Sydney Opera House, in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Gilly and says, 'Do you know that with one wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts, and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!'
Gilly replied, 'I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand? Show me!'
So the Pope backhanded Gillard across the face!"

While Australia buried his face in his hands and lamented over his boss, the British Isles fell about laughing. When America sort of sat there looking blank, Australia deadpanned.

"Mate... do you even know who Julia Gillard is?"

"Yeah, course I do, duh!" America said, but a bit too quickly and he averted his gaze.

"...Do you even know the capital of my country?"

"Yeah, it's Sydney," the golden haired nation replied earnestly. Quiet descended.

Australia then very purposefully rose from his place by the fire, walked calmly over to his tent, looked around for something, nodded, turned to face the group and before anyone even really knew what had happened, America was lying flat on his back with a stunned look on his face.

Australia caught the boomerang as it returned, placed it back inside his tent, and sat back down as if nothing had happened.

"America you utter twit," England sighed, reaching his hand out to pull him back up, "It's Canberra."

x~x~x~x~x

"Well, I think I'll turn in early," England said, rising from his spot and heading over to his tent.

"What? Already? Dude, stay longer!"

"America, I didn't think I'd be going camping, and as such I am tired. I'll see you all in the morning... please try not to kill each other." And with that, England disappeared into his tent.

America gulped, looking at the other nations around him who were all looking at him as though he was prey.

"Haha, that old guy huh?" he laughed weakly. "Well, guess I'll also hit the hay and-"

"Oh no, you should stay golden boy. After all, it's time for stories!" Australia grinned.

"Stories?"

"Yup, no camping trip is a camping trip without horror stories."

"Horror?" the hero said weakly, before puffing up his chest in an attempt to look bold and brave. "I've actually got a horror story, and it's true so ya know it's extra scary."

"Please, do tell."

"Right, well, there was this guy. And one day he decides that he's hungry, so he goes to McDonald's to get something to eat. He places his order: two chicken burgers, three quarter pounders, five Big Mac's, a strawberry milkshake and three packs of fries."

"Who the fuck eats that much?" North asked sceptically.

"Some people do!" America snapped, "Anyways, the dude places his order, and everything seems like it'll be okay, but then he receives the order. He takes it, not thinking that anything could possibly be wrong, and walks out the store like a boss. So then he hops into his sweet ride and begins to drive home, thinking he'd have some of his food on the way back. However, when he opened the bag-"

"Some freaky monster thing jumped out?" New Zealand asked eagerly.

"No, he-"

"The food was poisoned and he died?"

"No-"

"The food was actually-"

"DUDES! The hero is talking, geez! Ahem, when he opened the bags he discovered that... that..." America suddenly started shaking, his eyes wide, as if picturing the sheer horror that befell the man of his story.

"What?!"

"HE DISCOVERED THAT THEY FORGOT THE FRIES!" he wailed. "The horror! I waited in line for five freakin' minutes and then I discover that? Not cool bro. I had, like, a break-down in my car. I mean, you can't have McDonald's without the fries, amrite? Seriously dudes, that was an intense day."

"...Okay, so does anyone who isn't mentally retarded have a horror story?" Wales asked.

"HEY!" America yelled, but Australia cut him off.

"You betcha. Now, everyone gather around," he said in a low voice, leaning in closer to the fire, and everyone else mirrored the action. "So," he began, "There's a legend, as old as time itself, of creatures from your worst nightmares." The fire suddenly flared up, lighting Australia's light green eyes with an ethereal glow, the shadows from the flames dancing across his face in a wickedly spooky way as he carried on his tale. "They dwell in places just like this, right above us," he said lowly, pointing upwards towards the trees, a perfectly timed gust of wind shaking the leaves and causing the branches to let out creaky moans. America shivered.

"At first they seem unassuming," Oz continued, "But that is the error that everyone makes. Oh they may look like big koalas, but get too close..." he leant further in here, everyone else subconsciously doing the same, and then Oz reached for the torch attached to his belt and quickly switched it on, placing it under his chin and widening his eyes as he said loudly, "And they will eat you alive!"

Someone whimpered, and judging by the way America was trembling, it wasn't hard to guess who it was.

"These vicious creatures will tear into your flesh and relish your screams of pure, unadulterated pain!" he hissed dramatically before letting out a mad sounding laugh, as if verging on hysteria. "They inhabit treetops and attack their prey by dropping onto their heads from above!" he cackled, before bringing his voice down to a whisper. "So remember, always keep your eyes on the trees, or else it could be all over for you before you realise it. They are called..." he paused for dramatic effect before leaping up and announcing grandly, "Drop Bears!"

America's eyes widened, and he could have sworn that the koala on Australia's shoulder grinned at him, showing a set of very sharp teeth as its eyes turned red. Before anyone else had time to react, America scrambled to his feet and practically dove inside of England's tent.

"Iggy! Dude, wake up!" he said frantically.

"Uhn... America? What the bloody hell are you doing?" the Englishman questioned blearily.

"Australia just told me about drop bears and dude I don't wanna die and I swear that his koala isn't even a koala and what the heck I don't wanna die I'm too young and cool for that and-"

"Oh God just shut up," England moaned, shimmying out of his sleeping bag and kneeling in front of the frantic American. "America, there is no such thing as a drop bear. Now stop this silly worrying."

"But- But-" he sniffled, blue eyes big and pleading.

England sighed. "You git... go and get your sleeping bag."

"YES! Seriously Iggy, thank you so much!" As the taller nation dashed out of his tent England moved over and soon the other occupied the space. "Well, night Iggy!" America said happily, as if he wasn't practically wetting himself a few minutes ago.

"Yes, good night," England said, settling back down into his sleeping bag before he found himself pulled back slightly, America's arms encircling him. "W-What are you-"

"Protecting you from drop bears," America mumbled, glad the other couldn't see the pink dusting his cheeks as he held the Brit closer and buried his nose in the comforting smell of the strawberry shampoo the other used. "'Night..."

"Ah, yes... good night," England said, more softly this time, moving closer into America's soothing warmth before settling down in an attempt to get some sleep.

x~x~x~x~x

"Shit... Australia, I think you did too much of a good job telling your story," North said, looking at where America had just successfully gotten to share a tent with England.

"I didn't know he was that much of a wimp," Oz commented, "Damn, how the hell is he a superpower?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Scotland sighed. "But we should do something."

"There's no telling what he'll try to pull on England now that they're in the same tent," Wales said, narrowing his eyes. "All in favour of spooking him in about an hour?"

"Aye!" the group said unanimously.

And so it came to pass that an hour later, the British Isles and the Australasia duo found themselves standing outside of England's tent, fully intent on making scary noises and casting terrifying shadows over it, that was, until they realised the two nations inside the tent were very much awake.

"America, when will you realise that everything has a time and a place?" England asked in irritation.

"I couldn't help it, it's not my fault!"

"Bloody hell America, of course this is all your fault. Now it's everywhere and it's sticky."

"Well, how else was I supposed to get it in without all of the juice coming out?" the hero asked indignantly. "Besides, it's dark. It's hard to see where the hole is that I'm meant to penetrate. It's not exactly a big target."

"N-Nevertheless, you shouldn't have been doing that in here!"

"Well you aren't pinning this whole thing on me. I asked if you wanted it and you said yes."

"I didn't realise you'd leave this much of a mess you git!" was the exasperated reply.

"Well would you rather do it out in the cold behind a tree or something?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then just shut up and suck it already!" America said impatiently.

"Honestly," the Englishman sighed, "I'm only doing this seeing as the tent is completely soiled anyway. We're going to have to use yours tomorrow."

"Fine by me," the larger said happily, "Well, let's finish what we started."

Any thoughts of scaring the yank flew completely out of the window, and as it turned out they were the ones that ended up scarred. Backing away from the tent slowly, as if the thing was a wild animal that would attack without notice if provoked in the slightest, the group looked at each other and when at a reasonable distance Australia let out a small noise of anguish and New Zealand frowned.

"So that's why you called me out here."

"Yup, what should we do about him? As you can hear, things are pretty serious between him and mum."

"Hmm... Guess we'll just have to make this camping trip so bad he won't go near England for at least a century."

"Any ideas?"

"A few..."

Thus began the plotting of the lunatics.

Meanwhile, back in the tent:

"America, this is the last time I allow you to bring drinks into the sodding tent," England said resolutely, doing his best to mop up the spilled juice the other had gotten everywhere.

"But Capri Suns are tasty! It's not my fault the pouch just kinda exploded everywhere."

"I am not having this argument again. I fail to see how stabbing something with a straw is so difficult."

"I was sleepy and I couldn't see! Geez, don't go hatin' on me just cuz I get thirsty at night."

"Idiot."

x~x~x~x~x

America felt a light breeze gently rushing through his hair, the smell of nature heavy in his nostrils. The ground seemed so relaxing, softer than one would ordinarily think, almost seeming to rock back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, ba-

Something wasn't right.

He heard a few birds chirping, although they seemed really close by. Cracking open one of his eyes, America was met with a blank blue expanse of sky. He blinked once, twice, and then wondered where the hell the tent had gone. Opening his eyes fully, America realised that-

"HOLY CRAP!" he hollered, looking around and noticing the tents over on land. Somehow he had ended up on some shoddily made raft in the middle of the damn lake. Dayum, I am a heavy sleeper. How did I not wake up?! He glanced around, seeing nothing but water and wondering if he had to swim his way back to shore. He gritted his teeth.

Okay, this means war, he thought determinedly. He began to use his hands to paddle back seeing as he didn't fancy getting soaked first thing in the morning. He was making pretty decent progress until he saw a shadow pass below him under the water. He stopped momentarily, peering into the water, but it looked as though it was clear so he carried on. However, the shadow returned, flashing under the crappy raft, and suddenly a fin broke through the surface of the water.

"SHARK!" he yelled, staring at the fin in abject horror. He couldn't be eaten alive by a shark, no matter how much of a badass death that would be. At this point in time England emerged from his tent, looking out over the lake and spotting something that was so surreal he wondered if he was still dreaming.

"America, what the bloody hell are you doing out in the middle of the lake?!" he shouted.

"Oh ya know, thought I might try my hand at rafting at dawn!" America fired back sarcastically. "I didn't come out here of my own free will!"

The fin was getting closer to America, and a few seconds later his raft jolted and he nearly fell overboard. "Iggy there's a freakin' shark out here!"

"A shark? Don't be ridiculous, sharks don't inhabit lakes!"

"Well this one does!"

England soon found himself joined by his brothers and New Zealand.

"What on earth is he doing?" Wales asked.
"I have no idea, he got himself stuck out in the lake."
"Te mutunga ke mai o te rori o te tangata!" [What an idiot] NZ laughed.

However England just happened to glance over at North, Wales and Scotland as they 'discreetly' high-fived each other. His emerald eyes narrowed. "You prats wouldn't have anything to do with this, would you?"
"Us little brother? Never," Scotland smiled.
"You wankers," England said resolutely, before noting the absence of a certain Aussie. "Oi, where's-"

"A shark is no match for the hero!" America said grandly, standing up on the raft. He clenched his fists and looked down at the fin determinedly, shouting "USA!" before diving off and into the lake.

"Did he just..." Wales trailed off.
"Dive into the lake with the intent of punching a shark? Yes, yes he did," North replied, equally as stunned.
"I don't understand yanks at all," Scotland sighed before all hell broke out in the lake.

"Oi you plonker, get off!" came Australia's voice as he emerged from the lake with the American on his back.

"What the-?" America questioned, before noticing a cardboard fin floating atop the water. It didn't take long for him to put two and two together. "Dude! What the hell was that for?!"

"What? A guy can't go swimming in his own lakes anymore?" Australia asked, puffing up his cheeks.

"You totally did that on purpose!"

"No mate, I always swim with that fin because it aids speed. It's streamlined," Oz said simply before he smirked, "It's not my fault you freaked out like a little girl."

"I did not," the hero said indignantly.

By the time the two squabbling nations emerged from the lake England had retreated back into the sanctuary of his tent, not up to dealing with such stupidity at ridiculous hours in the morning. He was not a morning person.

"You all planned that," America hissed once he was in closer proximity to the rest of the group.

"He's not as dumb as he looks, folks," New Zealand said off to the side.

"I dunno what I did to piss y'all off, but if you're gonna be douches I will fight back," America said confidently, sticking his chin in the air defiantly. He was taken off guard though, when Wales sidled up to him and put an arm over his shoulders. His aqua eyes scanned the taller nation for a moment before he smiled.

"Perhaps we have the wrong impression of you. I think I speak for us all when I say that getting to know you would be of top priority. That being said, how about we go on a little... jungle jaunt?" he asked, tucking a strand of his wheat-blonde hair behind his ear and looking to the others in the group, who all nodded pleasantly enough.

"Uh..." was all the American could manage. He still didn't trust them. What's brought on this sudden 180?

"Yeah, guess I'm sorry mate," Australia said, scratching the back of his neck. "I think we should all get along, for England's sake."

"Well... I guess Iggy would want us to get along," America said slowly, because he knew that even though one of the Englishman's favourite pastimes was to bad-mouth his brothers, he did care for them. And it was obvious that he practically doted on Australia and New Zealand. That was kind of annoying actually, not that he'd ever voice that aloud. "Yeah, okay then," he agreed eventually.

"Good," Zea smiled, before England exited his tent.

"It's too quiet considering you lot are all in close proximity," he muttered, looking around at everyone apprehensively, "What did I miss?" While Wales informed his brother of the stroll they were planning to go on in order to 'strengthen bonds', America found himself inadvertently side-tracked by the change of clothes that the Brit had deemed appropriate for this trip.

He had decided to go with green, seeing as he had sort of claimed the colour ever since his military uniform in the war days. That was cool, that was fine. He had on a loose green shirt with the top buttons undone, but it was hot, so that was fine. What wasn't fine (or what was so amazingly fine it was a crime) were the shorts. Or, the short shorts that barely covered anything.

Where in the heck did he get those from?! America wondered, his eyes suddenly drawn to England's legs. Were they always that long and- Oh crap, was he drooling? I AM NOT DROOLING!

He was totally drooling.

England, seemingly unaware that he was currently wearing shorts that arrived straight out of a porno, looked around at everyone suspiciously.

"You're actually going to be civil with one another?" he questioned dubiously, wondering what his brothers were up to, because they were always up to something no matter what.

To the side, Australia tapped New Zealand's shoulder. "Ooklay at the ankyay," he whispered in Pig Latin, nodding his head over to a very red-faced America unashamedly staring at England's lower half. New Zealand's eyes narrowed.

"Time to enact the plan then?"

"You bet."

"Well mum, we'd better be off. We'll be back soon so don't you worry!" Australia said happily.

"Are you sure that I shouldn't come with-"

"Nope, c'mon I wanna get to know the yankee more. Besides you deserve some R&R!"

"Well... I suppose that sounds rather nice," England breathed, But should I really leave America alone with my berk brothers? "Is that okay with you America?"

"Shorts..." the hero mumbled, as if in a trance.

"Uh... America?" England asked uneasily, looking at the glazed look the other's eyes held.

"Huh? Oh! Uh... What were we saying?"

"Git, at least have the decency to listen," England huffed, folding his arms in annoyance. "Never mind, be off with you all. Just be safe, all right?"

After exchanging their goodbye's and America going through an overly sorrowful parting from England and his shorts (England had no idea why America was suddenly so adamant to stay), England found himself alone at the campsite with all the time in the world.

Perhaps this day won't be a disaster after all, he thought in a rare moment of optimism as he settled down beside the lake to take in the scenery.

x~x~x~x~x

Let it be known that 'optimism' and 'British people' go together about as well as England's rather horrific creation of Chicken Tikka Scones, so basically: not at all.
England wasn't sure whether or not he should have even bothered going through the stages of surprise and confusion when all members of the party returned a few hours later, minus a certain loud-mouthed American.

Australia and New Zealand appeared to be completely oblivious to the fact that someone was clearly missing, chatting amongst themselves. England glared at his brothers.

"What did you do?" he asked with a low tone of voice.

"What do you mean?" Wales asked, playing innocent.

"Where the sodding hell is America?!"

"America..." North said slowly, as if he hadn't ever heard the name before. "America, hmm... Sorry, never heard of him," he said rather decidedly.

"Don't you dare play dumb with me," England growled, "I don't know why you all dislike him so much but quite frankly I couldn't give a shit about your personal feelings. Now. Where. Is. America."

"Just calm down little brother," Scotland said, ruffling England's hair. "We've not lost him or anything, just... misplaced him."

If England's glare could kill people, then everyone within 100 miles of him would be massacred right about now.

"You wankers, you'd better find him! This is all your fault!"

"Hey, the kiddies were in on it," Scotland said, indicating Oz and Zea who were looking at the ground like guilty toddlers.

"You're older than them, you should know better!"

"Well technically, I'm not-" North began, but cut himself off when England let out a sound that could only be called a snarl.

"To be fair," Scotland began, "If you suspected us, then you shouldn't have let us take him in the first place. That's just you being irresponsible."

And that was the comment that appeared to do it for the Englishman. Instead of exploding into a fit of rage like everyone thought, his right eye twitched a bit, before he closed both of them and took a deep breath. When they opened again, it felt as though the temperature had suddenly dropped, his eyes devoid of any positive emotion and the sparkling emerald now something much darker. He walked slowly over to his tent, in a parody of what Australia had done the night before, but instead of retrieving a boomerang he pulled out a very sharp looking hunting blade.

"Did you know," England said in such a frightfully calm voice, even Scotland looked uneasy, "That back in my pirating days I had a favourite method of... dealing with people?" He began to pace around the campsite, looking off wistfully into the distance. "Guns, bah! They were too... easy. Too impersonal. A life is so easy to take with one," he mused, gently running the tip of his finger up and down the blade. "But a knife is a different matter entirely. It's a much more intimate affair, so much so that you can feel everything, the ragged last breaths, the gasps for mercy..." his lips twisted into a sadistic grin as he looked over to his brothers.

"E-England, please calm down," Wales said in a soothing voice, but England's glare just intensified.
"Fuck, have you been hanging around with Russia or something?!" North asked with wide eyes.

England actually began laughing then. "Russia? That pussy? Ha! Did you know that he challenged me to a rematch for duelling? What a foolish thing to do, seeing as I'd found my stride. I had his arse kicked in less than three minutes. Oh, the sight of him on his knees was simply exquisite," the blonde sighed happily, before he pouted. "Although I haven't actually had the pleasure of using this," he brandished the blade, "Lately, which is such a shame. I have over two thousand ways in which to use it."

He stood right in front of his brothers and smiled a smile that could only be described as evil. "Unless you want me to get some blade practice in, I suggest that you find America as soon as possible. And if a single hair is harmed on his head, well, this is the jungle. Who would hear your screams?" he asked in a sweetly dark voice.

The British Isles and the Australasia duo soon found themselves running through the jungle to find America, splitting up so that they could cover more ground.

England smiled to himself and looked longingly at the knife in his hand. "It's so nice when people are eager to be co-operative," he mused.

x~x~x~x~x

America frowned as he looked around. He could have sworn that the others were with him at one point, but then somewhere along the line it had all fallen apart. "Aw crap," he muttered as he emerged out of the jungle and was only met with, well, what looked like the desert.

Is this the Outback? he wondered, deciding to consult his map that he had folded into his pocket. After unfolding it and scrutinising it closely, he furrowed his brows. "According to this thing," he murmured to no one in particular, "Then I'm actually in the USA... huh." He glanced up. It doesn't look like anywhere at my place... maybe the map is wrong? But the map seemed legit to him... weird.

"Ah well, at least I've got my sunglasses of swag!" he said happily, placing a pair of shades over Texas as he looked out over this new expanse of land. I don't need those guys to get back; the wild is no match for a hero!

No sooner had he finished this thought when America saw something in the distance, coming closer. He peered intently, and after a few moments he was able to see that it was a kangaroo hopping towards him.

"Oh cool!" he said excitedly, because he hadn't ever seen a wild kangaroo before. Maybe I could take him home and he could keep Whaley company! When the creature was only about a metre away America grinned. "Hey kangaroo dude!" he said enthusiastically, moving in to see if he could stroke behind its ears when-

BAM!

The golden haired nation staggered back slightly, completely shocked. Did... Did that kangaroo just punch me?!

The kangaroo looked at him, before moving in and trying to punch him again.

"Dude!" America exclaimed, dodging, but unfortunately the kangaroo made contact with his shades and they fell to the ground, cracked. America stared at the broken accessory for a moment before he cracked his knuckles and held up his fists.

"No one breaks the hero's sunglasses of swag!" he yelled, taking aim at the animal. There was probably an animal protection organisation crying somewhere, but the marsupial had started it! (America was pretty sure he could get some hot-shot lawyers to make that defence hold up in court).

If the roo wanted to rumble, well, America could deal with that. Not once did he even pause to consider how utterly bizarre and ridiculous the whole situation was, far too engrossed in his random bout of fisticuffs. The kangaroo didn't play fair though, using its tail to swipe the hero's feet out from under him. America gritted his teeth, clenching his fists as the kangaroo stood over him, anticipating the next move, but suddenly the creature's eyes widened and it hopped off hurriedly.

"Yeah that's right!" America yelled triumphantly after it. "You don't mess with the hero and get away with it!" However only a few moments later he heard some rustling in the treetops, followed by what sounded like a ferocious growling, and when he looked up his eyes locked with the blood red ones of about three-

"DROP BEARS!" he yelled, scrambling to his feet and immediately sprinting back into the jungle in a vain attempt at getting back to base camp. "Dude, this day is freakin' brutal!"

America was so rapid in his escape from the rabid bear things that he ended up whizzing past Australia and New Zealand who were looking for him.

"Oh hey! Yank! I mean- America!" Australia called, stopping in his tracks and turning around, chasing after the golden haired nation. "Slow down!"

"Can't! Drop bears!" America yelled frantically, carrying on running like a bat out of hell.

"Oz made it up!" New Zealand shouted, "There's no such thing as a drop bear!"

America slowed down then, allowing the other two to catch up. "I swear I saw them!"

"That's impossible mate, drop bears are just something my people and I made up to screw with outsiders," Australia explained, but as soon as he'd said it the violent shaking in the trees caught up with them and the growling was louder than before.

"Okay if that's true, then what the heck is making that sound?!" America demanded, and as the other two looked up they just looked completely stunned.

"N-No way," Australia said in disbelief as he looked up at what appeared to be giant koalas. He began shaking, "There's no way..."

"Tiko..." [Shit] Zea breathed, before getting a grip. "RUN!"

And so the three of them took off at a faster pace than before, Australia looking back every now and then and wondering how the hell drop bears actually seemed to be real. Eventually the three of them found sanctuary in the form of a cave, and they were thankful to hear the rustling in the trees and the scary noises moving away.

"What the crap is going on?!" America asked, eyes wide.

"I don't even know anymore! We were just meant to lose you in the jungle," Australia muttered.

"Why do you guys hate me so much?"

"Because you'll just hurt England," New Zealand said bitterly.

"Huh?"

"Look, we don't know about you, but England is someone very important to us. To see you and him so close to each other..." Australia glared at the cave wall, "It's scary, knowing that he could one day call us up in tears because you've done something unforgivable."

"What? Nah, Iggy always shouts at me usually. He wouldn't get that worked up over something I say."

"Don't be stupid," New Zealand said resentfully. "I barely even know you, but I saw the way you two were looking at each other around the campfire last night... urgh."

"Huh? How did we look?" America asked, genuinely curious.

"You looked all fuckin' lovey-dovey," Australia pouted.

America blushed. "W-We did?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love seeing England so happy, but... Well, none of us trust you. We all have our reasons. I guess my main concern is you've already left him once, so what's stopping you from doing it again? I won't accept anyone who only has half-arsed feelings for him!" Australia said sternly.

Before America could comprehend everything and formulate his reply, a shout cut through the jungle.

"That sounded like Northern Ireland!" New Zealand said worriedly.

"Damn, d'ya think the drop bears got to them?" Oz asked, biting his lip.

America stood up purposely with a determined look on his face. "I dunno, but I'm gonna go and find out. A hero doesn't let anyone get hurt while he's around." He began to head to the entrance of the cave, but paused as he glanced back at the other two. "Just so ya know, I wouldn't cause him pain like that again. I can't change the past and I wouldn't want to, because things ended up how they are now. But the future is something I can influence, so don't knock me down without actually knowing me. I never half-ass the things I care about." And with that, he exited the safe point, Oz and Zea exchanging glances before heading out after him.

After a few minutes spent in silence, New Zealand spoke up. "So, does anyone have a plan?"

"Stay alive?" the Aussie suggested.

"I'm working on it," America said, a pensive expression on his face and he flinched a bit when he heard some angry cursing in Gaelic and Welsh. Suddenly he had an epiphany and he snapped his fingers. "Got it!"

"What?" Oz asked.

"Okay, so these drop bear things are native to this land, yeah?"

"Apparently, like I said, I didn't even think they were real until today," the brunette said uncertainly.

"Well either way, I say we fight nature with nature!" America said, brimming with confidence as he began to root around on the floor and let out a victorious noise as he came across a bird's nest, gathering any and all feathers.

"What are you doing?" New Zealand asked.

"Going native," America replied with a grin, beginning to rearrange the feathers in a type of head-dress.

"Sweet!" Australia said, tearing off his shirt and going over to a nearby berry bush. He plucked a good many of them before crushing them, feeding a few to his koala, before beginning to draw aboriginal designs all over his torso.

"Hey, great idea," America smiled, going over to another berry bush and doing something similar, removing his shirt before he drew a complex pattern of lines and circles on his torso, making sure to put two lines under each of his eyes.

New Zealand watched as Australia expertly crushed berries and various plants to form different colours, putting white dots under his eyes and over the green and yellow stripes he had included on his body.

"C'mon Zea," Oz encouraged, "It's been a while since I went all Tjapukai on an enemy. Where's your Māori spirit?"

New Zealand just blinked at the other two before sighing and smiling. "Fine." Zea removed the shirt, America's earlier conundrum finally being solved:

So it's a dude, got it, he made a mental note. He didn't want to know what would have happened if New Zealand found out he thought he was possibly a chick. Zea didn't actually have to use berries and various other things to draw patterns on his body seeing as he already had numerous tribal tattoos adorning everywhere. The intricate patterns encircled both of his arms, the same designs being replicated on his stomach.

"Cool tattoos bro," America said, noting the various spirals and zig-zags that had been inked as he went and picked up a sharp looking rock, attaching it to a sturdy stick to form a spear.

"Tika hoki," [thanks] New Zealand smiled, going over to a tree and snapping off a branch in a display of strength that one wouldn't have thought possible. The violet haired nation then set about fashioning some kind of cross between a spear and a staff.

"All right, let's do this mate!" Australia said enthusiastically, brandishing his boomerang.

"Agreed," Zea nodded, nodding at his makeshift Taiaha with pride and giving it a few experimental swings.

"Hellz yeah!" America cried, "My inner Red Indian is gonna kick some ass! Just like Chuck Norris!"

"Nah, Hugh Jackman is way cooler than that guy," Australia interrupted.

"Dude, you serious? No way."

"Yeah way."

"No-"

"Kia tau!" New Zealand demanded, "We're here to save England's brothers."

The swearing that had become background noise made its presence known once more, and the three quickly set off in order to find the British Isles. By the time they had been located, the sight was rather overwhelming. The three brothers stood, back-to-back, surrounded by a multitude of the carnivorous creatures.

"C'mon then ya bastards!" Scotland yelled, fearlessly kicking one of the drop bears that made an advance.
"Wales, to your right!" North called, Wales springing into action and punching another.

The three were putting up an amiable fight, but they were heavily outnumbered.

"Damn, if only Wales could summon Delroy to him," New Zealand muttered.

"Who's Delroy?" America asked.

"Wales' pet dragon," Zea said, as if it was obvious.

"Dragon?!" America asked, forgetting to keep his voice down and earning angry shushes from the other two.

"Well obviously, every nation has their national animal as a pet," Oz said, indicating the koala on his shoulder. "Scotland has Blitz and England has Aslan."

"Isn't Aslan that lion from Narnia?"

"Where do you think the idea came from?" Oz asked. "England made a magical world in one of the old wardrobes in his storage room, seeing as Aslan needed wide open spaces. Blitz, Scotland's unicorn, appreciated it as well of course. The world grew from there."

"...Are you shittin' me bro?"

"No!" Oz said defensively, "I can't believe you've never been there before, it's really cool."

"Guys, you're getting side-tracked again," New Zealand sighed before gripping his Taiaha tightly, "Let's go even up the odds."

All three of them readied their weapons and then leapt out of the bushes, yelling loudly in an attempt to confuse their opponents. England's brothers looked up and deadpanned.

"The kids have lost the fuckin' plot," Scotland grunted, elbowing another drop bear out of his way.
"I thought these things didn't exist!" North said, kicking another.
"Same here," Wales said breathlessly as he attempted to dodge the sharp teeth and body slam another one.

"Take that!" America yelled, taking jabs at the drop bears that came near him with his spear. "Oh hey, Zea! Behind ya dude!"

"Thanks!" New Zealand called, whirling around and whacking the drop bear that came flying at him.

Australia dodged as one literally dropped from the tree above. "Well, g'day," he grinned, and with a quick flick of his wrist the boomerang had the beast knocked out in a matter of seconds.

The six carried on battling bravely, undeterred by the seemingly endless waves of the dangerous creatures that continued to plague them. Scotland had come up with the very effective method of taking one drop bear down and then whirling it around his head, using the actual drop bear as a weapon. North and Wales were working a sort of tag-team system while Oz was able to hold back and attack from a distance seeing as his boomerang enabled such a tactic. New Zealand was busy getting into the flow of battle, light on his feet and no doubt using his Rugby skills to dodge any attacks before either hitting the aggressors with his Taiaha or simply rugby tackling them.

America was just about to take down his tenth drop bear when he saw two of them sneaking up behind Australia. Acting on impulse, the hero ran and dived, knocking the Aussie out of the way and bracing himself for the pain seeing as he was the one now in their path.

"America!" Oz yelled, powerless to do anything seeing as his boomerang had been knocked out of his hands. The American readied his spear bravely, doing his best to ignore those very dangerous looking incisors that looked as though they could cut through metal, when suddenly a streak of grey passed in front of him and Australia's 'koala' was stood in front of him, acting as a barrier.

It literally roared, much louder than any of the drop bears had done, and the two aiming for America seemed to shrink back. It didn't let up, making sure the two were long gone before turning to look at America, a look of gratitude in its eyes for having saved Oz, presumably.

The fight turned in their favour from then on, the koala(?) managing to get most of the drop bears to go away and those that refused were soon taken care of by one of the six warriors. After what felt like eternity, they were finally in the clear, any trace of the demonic bears gone. They were all busy catching their breaths, still on the lookout for more, but America was the first to break the silence with:

"Damn."

"You could say that again!" Oz laughed, you saved me mate."

"Oh, it was nothing," America said, marvelling at the fact that they all appeared to be alive. However when a rustling sounded everyone readied their weapons once more. It was coming from just ahead, America having his sights fixed and his spear ready, but what stepped out of the bushes wasn't a drop bear, but England.

Suddenly a torrent of emotion overcame America, as if the fact that they he could have died was finally sinking in, and he ran over to England and practically threw himself at his feet.

"Iggy! Dude! Today has been insane!" he yelled.

"A-America? Thank God you're okay!" England said, relief drenching his words. "I heard such a commotion and thought I'd investigate... are you all all right?" he asked, looking up at everyone and wondering why his brother's clothes were torn (they were just glad he wasn't acting like a psychopath anymore), or why Oz, Zea and America were suddenly looking very tribal.

"I could've died just now! Drop bears came and attacked us all and it was all freaky bad and- wait. Did I die?" He looked up into England's eyes, and then down at the shorts and held onto England's legs tighter, sobbing. "I bet I died didn't I?" he groaned, "My only salvation is you in your slutty shorts! Which is awesome, but I wanna liiiivvveeee!"

"Slutty-! They are not!" England protested, "Now let go of me you idiot!"

Never before had America been so happy at getting whacked by England. "Wait... so I lived?"

"Yes," England said dryly, stepping away from the American primly but he just ended up engulfed in a hug a few seconds later.

"What on earth has gotten into you?"

"Nothing, just shut up and lemme hug you, geez," America mumbled, holding the other tighter. "Oh and just so you know: Kangaroos are evil."

To the side, Australia sighed. "As much as it pains me to say it... I may have misjudged the yank."

New Zealand nodded, looking at his mum who was trying to suppress a smile as he hugged America back. He sighed. "I'm not saying we should let him of the hook, but..."

"Yeah I know," Oz agreed. "But one slip up and there'll be hell to pay."

"Agreed," Zea grinned, before looking over at England's brothers who still didn't look convinced. "He'll probably still have to deal with them, so I don't envy him!"

"Well we aren't exactly gonna make things easy either," Oz winked, before going over to the two hugging nations. "All right yank, back off. I wanna hug England as well."

"No way, he's mine!"

"What? Sod off!"

"Never!"

"I have no idea what the bloody hell happened here but... let's just head back," England sighed, finding himself sandwiched between America and Australia before Zea came up and tackled him from behind. "You gits," England laughed, not really minding. He was just glad that everyone was safe.

x~x~x~x~x

"All of you are being ridiculous, for the last time: drop bears do not exist!" England said resolutely as they all sat around the campfire that night. Despite the fact that everyone else argued to the contrary and described the horror they had that day, the Englishman refused to believe it.

America sighed, "Don't blame me when you get randomly attacked then... oh hey! Have you seen New Zealand's tattoos Iggy? They're awesome!"

"Course he's seen them," Zea laughed, "Although I guess they're not as cool as the one England has on his-"

"New Zealand!" England yelled indignantly.

"You have a tattoo?" America asked in disbelief, looking at England who suddenly found the ground immeasurably interesting.

"Never mind that!" Oz said, coming over to the group brandishing a guitar case and handing it over to England. "You can play right?"

While the Englishman excelled more at punk, he knew a few songs he could play acoustically, although he wanted to avoid breaking into the inevitable 'Kumbaya'. "I'll give it a go, any requests?"

Australia just grinned and England chuckled. "Ah, that one..."

"Listen up you lot," Oz commanded, "This is a song with great tradition at my place, and I expect you all to join in accordingly. Take it away mum!"

"Went down to Santa Fe, where Renoir paints the walls,
Described you clearly, but the sky began to fall"

England sang softly, strumming the appropriate chords. Australia was practically shaking with anticipation, New Zealand already knowing where this was heading, but everyone else looked curious. The song seemed okay, but nothing to get too excited about. However that all changed within the next few seconds.

"Am I ever gonna see your face again?"

"No way, get fucked, fuck off!" Australia yelled, grinning at England, before looking towards everyone else and indicating that they'd better join him. England simply rolled his eyes (Only in Australia can that be a term of praise) and repeated the question.

"Am I ever gonna see your face again?"

"No way, get fucked, fuck off!" they all yelled into the night air, laughing, and America decided that maybe the trip wasn't as bad as it could have been.

...Until he woke up in the morning to find that someone had placed his hand in a cup of warm water during the night...

He went kickass tribal again.

x~x~x~x~x

I hope you enjoyed it~ ^_^ Especially my epic fail of a Chemistry joke :P

What People Wanted:

agentscia= the Capri Sun misunderstanding
Luna-Discord= More British Isles
HumahnaHumahnaHumahna= Iggy's bros and something to do with a sleeping bag (initially the inspiration for the camping trip :D)
Maya Gordelia= Iggy's bros pushing US into a lake
Wenxi, Dragon 356= More Australia
TheNextAlice, Baylee Shadow, OzzieLiber-Tea= Drop Bears (and other Oz related things :P)
Kotoni-Chan= Missing!America
NimayTheAirbender= Cruel!England
Americatress= Evil kangaroos
Soul and Heart, Baylee Shadow= Something to do with the Olympics (seeing as I was busy watching them, the time to write a chappy revolving solely around the Olympics passed, but I aim to please ^_^)

That song Iggy sang is from an Australian rock band, when the lyrics 'Am I ever gonna see your face again?' came about, some Aussie's thought it best to answer the question. It's sort of become a tradition in Oz to use that reply when the song is played.
Lion= National animal of England
Unicorn= National animal of Scotland
Dragon= National animal of Wales

So now for shameless self-promotion XD I wrote a one-shot fic called 'Arthur Kirkland's Diary', so feel free to check it out if ya want~

Also! I realised that I failed to give descriptions of the British Isles before, so go to my Tumblr page to see the pics I've been basing them off :) Link is on my profile!

Also on my Tumblr page is the picture that gave me the inspiration for RedIndian!America, Tjapukai!Australia and Māori!NewZealand, and also the pic that I based England off in his sexy shorts ;D

Until next time poppets, lemme know what ya thought~

xx-animeXalchemist-xx