A/N: Here we go! The ACTUAL full chapter 55. I know it's been a couple of months—college is good for the mind but a dick when it comes to recreational time—but I'm REALLY glad to be posting again. And I'm VERY excited to keep sharing with you. I missed you guys, the interaction, the funnnn ;)

Because it's been a while, I'm just placing the last piece of the PREVIOUS chapter, which ended on a cliffhanger, in case you want a refresher :) But other than that, PLEASE ENJOY the new installment.

And don't forget how much I love hearing from you guys. Feedback makes the really long hours, the epically long and difficult Saturdays full of work, more than worth it lol :)

...

It was dim, gold light flickering from the flames littered around the tables and a solid pale blue coming from the moon outside. She couldn't see her boyfriend anywhere.

"Ken-" the name caught in her throat. Her emerald eyes widened, emotion gripping at her and mixing with an old friend: pure fear.

She saw his legs first, jean-covered calves just visible in front of the couch. She rushed then, running to get to Kendall. He was unconscious, breathing but bleeding from beneath his head, crimson gathering behind his towel-dried hair and onto the rug below in a tiny puddle.

"Kendall!" she called his name loudly, moving to crouch in the tight space between the coffee table and the white sofa, nearly on top of him.

Sage just reached him, one hand on his bare chest and the other sliding up to his neck, before she was torn away. She thrashed immediately as arms gripped her waist. She knew them too well, that skin and those fingers and muscles were etched into her memory forever.

Elliot whispered in her ear as he placed a chloroform-soaked cloth over her mouth.

"It will all be better when you wake up. I promise…"

Those were the exact words he said to her the first time he did this.

It was a lie then, and it was a lie now.

And now, on to the new stuff :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I do own Sage and Elliot.

-waterwicca


CHAPTER 55: BIG TIME DECISION


Kendall's head ached with a hot pressure at the back of his skull that spread forward every time he took a shallow breath. His eyes refused to open, lids too heavy and confusion too thick for him to find control. Awareness came slowly, slinking along his skin and through his muscles at a snail's pace. The world seemed to have a pulse of its own. Everything moved beneath him, his bones vibrating at a rhythm just off the tempo of his heart. He turned his head with a groan, the back of his neck warm—sticky with something—and stiff. His chin was pressed down against his bare chest, too weighty of a pull for him to lift it before his head lolled back into place.

A crackling noise began making its way past the pounding between his ears as he found enough strength to get his eyes to open. The first thing he saw was his lap, still covered in his jeans like before—before what exactly, he couldn't quite grasp. He forced his vision a little higher, making it to the edge of his knees to see the carpet situated lower beyond them. He was sitting up, not lying down. That wasn't right, was it?

Closing his eyes again when he felt a bout of vertigo settling over him, Kendall remembered leaving Sage with a kiss and a smile after their shower. He remembered digging out her engagement ring from the duffle he had in the corner of the bedroom and pocketing the box. He remembered rushing around on shaky excited legs to light candles in the living room to set a romantic tone. He remembered thinking Sage would call him a sap for it. He remembered the way his heart clenched and his hands itched to hold her as he lit the last wick.

Kendall remembered a sound. A shuffle. A step. A sharp and sudden pain at the back of his head pairing with the crack of his skull meeting stone.

He had hit the ground, body failing him with the blow. He mustered up enough energy to turn onto his side after he couldn't get his arms to push himself anywhere. He had seen someone standing there, seen a pair of black boots. He saw a small but hefty marble statue, which he was sure had come from the foyer, in the attacker's hand, hanging still but firm at his side. The man had stepped closer then, his boots barely making a noise before one connected with his shoulder to turn him onto his back. That's when Kendall's heart pumped faster. That's when he caught sight of the intruder's face.

"Elliot." Kendall whispered the name, minimal volume and strength to his voice, but that was secondary to how the word felt coming out of his mouth. It was restrained. He tasted cloth, a gag.

Confusion now fading, his blood pumping quickly due to adrenaline and fear, Kendall twisted his head to the right. His neck still protested the movement but he ignored the ache of his muscles and opened his eyes again only to immediately shut them when an orange glow assaulted his vision. It was too bright, like firecrackers going off in his head. He squinted more cautiously to observe his surroundings. The orange assailant had been a fireplace, burning strongly with kindling cracking as the flames ate away at it. It was then that he realized he was in their bedroom of the beach house instead of the living room, and the only light in there was from that fire and the moonlight coming through the length of windows on the wall to his left.

Kendall's head still hung low but he blinked rapidly to encourage his eyes to stay open. He hadn't even tried moving the rest of his body yet, a part of his brain only now allowing him to remember it was a possibility. When he did try, though, he found that he couldn't. Not because of his own strength, which he was glad was returning with his alertness, but because of two thick cable ties keeping his wrists against the arms of the chair he sat in. The furniture was made of iron, and it didn't belong in the bedroom. It was from the patio outside. Kendall attempted to pull his hands away from the chair, but he didn't get far. The ties only tightened, pushing his skin against the cold metal underneath and chafing the rest surrounded by the sturdy plastic.

He groaned through the gag that was around his head, trying not to panic as he struggled against the restraints, realizing that there was one at each ankle too. He needed to get out. He needed to save Sage. Elliot had to have taken her once Kendall was out cold. He didn't know what time it was, or how far they could have gotten by now.

But Kendall soon learned that they hadn't gone that far at all. Dragging his head upward, painful but manageable, Kendall spotted Sage on the bed in front of him. He shouted her name, a sound inaudible because of the fabric in his mouth. But when he noticed that she wasn't moving, he screamed even louder to no avail, struggled harder against the ties with no progress save the start of a good amount of damage to his flesh.

Sage was unconscious, stretched out on the mattress above the sheets and wearing a silk robe from the bathroom. Unlike Kendall's, her legs were free, but her wrists held the same fate as his own. They were bound above her head with black cable ties attached to two rails of the carved, wooden headboard.

Kendall's confusion was back as he tried to breathe normally, dizziness sweeping through him as he jostled around in his chair. Sage shouldn't have been there. What the hell was Elliot planning?

"Sage!" Kendall tried again with similar muffled results, but he was even louder this time, stirring her from her sleep. He wanted to say so much more as she whimpered when she extended and bent her legs slowly in disorientation. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her and tell her things were going to be okay. He wanted to lovingly shush her when she groaned and opened her eyes, tugging deliriously on her restraints. But Sage was on her own. Kendall could only watch from an agonizing distance—so small yet so large.

The amber glow of the fire danced across her calves as she squirmed, her eyes blinking and staring at the ceiling. Her breathing grew labored when she seemed to come to her senses, and her tears began almost immediately, a whine followed by stifled gasps of anxiety bubbling up when she made an attempt to yank her hands away from the headboard.

"No, no, no…" Sage sobbed, her vision locking onto her wrists and her body writhing on the bed.

Her shoulders rose off of the mattress only to fall and put her right back in a vulnerable, prone position. Her glassy eyes focused on Kendall when she looked down at the foot of the bed, but instead of stilling or speaking to him, the view seemed to only throw her deeper into a fit of hyperventilation. She hissed as she tugged harder on the plastic holding back her hands, her head resting against the carefully placed pillows beneath it as she examined the bindings. Sage pulled against the headboard with all of her weight, trying to drag herself down the bed, but the ties only cut into the bottoms of her palms, whitening and then reddening the skin and causing her to cry out and arch her back upwards. She didn't stop, though, even when Kendall began more attempts to call to her, to pull her through her waking nightmare.

"Sage, stop it..." Elliot appeared, stepping in swiftly from the hallway. Kendall thrashed in the chair, but Elliot didn't even look in his direction. He made a beeline right for the bed, resting one knee on it and grabbing at Sage's forearms. "Calm down and breathe, sweetie… Please… You're gonna hurt yourself," he chastised her, voice careful and soft—the fact that Kendall could call it "soothing" made his blood boil. One of the last things he had ever wanted to see was Elliot on a bed with his girl. It was like a sickening glimpse into what was surely a daily occurrence in his year without her, a glimpse into one of her greatest phobias their family had worked so hard to overcome. It was something that she should have never had to experience again.

"What's happening? What a-are you doing?" Sage mumbled, words disjointed and her entire body shaking when Elliot's hands touched her. His palms slid up her arms and his fingers closed around her hands, ending her efforts to dislodge herself from the headboard. Her entire frame went rigid, her movements still other than the rapid shake of her head from left to right and her mouth uttering inaudible pleas—for what, Kendall couldn't quite make out. He imagined it was for freedom. For an end to all of this.

"I just want to talk," Elliot whispered, cautiously letting go of her hands and bringing his own down to her face when she didn't continue her writhing. One thumb traced a line on her left cheek, smearing away falling tears, while his other fell to her collarbone, the tip grazing the silver of her necklace before jerking back like it had burned him.

Sage inhaled loudly, feeling the same.

"I need- We need to figure some things out…" Elliot began again, shutting his eyes to regain his senses. When he opened them, they were clear brown, boring into shifting and moist emerald.

Sage's entire body was trembling, but she stayed still with Elliot's hands on her—waiting.

"I missed you," he added softly. His hand smoothed its way back up her neck, caressing the side of it and braving the feel of the metal on his palm in favor of having her skin against his again. Sage swallowed thickly, jerking away but not making it far.

Kendall growled and shouted ineffectively. Elliot ignored him, but Sage finally looked at her boyfriend, finally took a really good look at the way he was held back, at the way he appeared too small. Too far away, too weak. Nothing was how it was supposed to be. Nothing was like it was just hours before.

"You weren't supposed to leave the state…" It was all Sage could think to say as she desperately tried to make sense of why Elliot was there. She stared back at him, the sight of Kendall too much.

It was conflicting, not matching up with her world quite right anymore. A large half of her was in Ramsey, with Elliot touching her in her bed, and a smaller, weaker half of her was in California with Kendall and the family they created years later. Both worlds were fighting to exist inside of her at the same time, a battle that would surely end in disaster.

"None of that shit matters. You and me, that's what matters. It's all that ever mattered." Elliot shifted higher onto the bed, sitting beside Sage with his back to a grumbling, relentless Kendall. Like his stepdaughter, Elliot was shutting him out. "There's nothing for me back in North Dakota. Scotty is… He knows who I am now," he stared at his lap, playing with his hands and wishing he could hold Sage's. He couldn't untie her, though. It was too risky. He needed to be in control. He needed time. He needed her. "Lily's gone, too. It's just me and you now." Elliot said it as if it were a reassurance.

"What did you do to her?" Sage's tears had ceased as she tried to regain a sense of tranquility within chaos—the process was an old friend.

"I didn't do anything," Elliot hissed, like she had insulted him. "She left after she bailed me out."

"Because you hurt her…" Sage assumed, voice softening with guilt and tears threatening to return. She didn't know Lily, but she did know that she was innocent in all of this.

"No! I'm not like that!" Elliot argued, not enraged but offended and exasperated. Lily had walked away from him after everything she had seen in Sage's room. She knew he wasn't well, that he wasn't the person she should be with, and Elliot hadn't countered her argument. He wasn't entirely stable. He was a monster. But he was tired of hearing it, tired of being reminded.

"You're not? Then what is this?" Sage asked, looking around the room in disbelief of the situation. "You hurt everyone you touch, Elliot. No one's safe…"

Sage dropped her head down towards her chest with a weak sob, wishing she was wrong, wishing for security. Then something occurred to her.

She did have security.

"Shawn! Bryan!" she screamed the names of the two guards, filled with sudden hope. She knew they had stationed themselves at the gate of the property after leaving her and Kendall once they completed their day touring the Malibu streets. They were just down the driveway leading to the mansion. It was a longshot, but if they heard her, then-

"They won't come," Elliot informed her gently. Sage's shouting stopped along with Kendall's reinvigorated efforts at the reminder of their hired safety. "They would have been in the way…" Elliot explained even quieter, staring at a point above Sage's head rather than in her eyes. He didn't want to see the anger and nausea there as realization dawned.

"You didn't..." Sage shook her head, choking back a sob as she fell limp against the bed.

"I had to," Elliot maintained while wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans.

Sage cried, turning her face into her upper arm and ignoring the burn at her wrists from the ties. Everything was out of control. Shawn and Bryan had families. They were people almost completely outside of the drama of Elliot, and they paid the ultimate price for her anyway. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen.

Before tonight, Sage was beginning to feel like she had power, like she had actually gained the upper hand when it came to her life. She worked hard and did the right thing by finally trying to make Elliot pay for everything that he had done. All she needed to do was make it through the trial, to try to win. Elliot had robbed her of that chance now. He took everything into his own hands as usual. He made all of her time, effort, and hopes seem like illusions; like she never even left him.

Now, as he sat beside her, it was as if they were "home" again.

"Why did you come here? Why didn't you just run?" Sage whispered once she settled down, Elliot waiting patiently next to her. Kendall still sat at the foot of the bed, head hung low and breaths heavy while his hands continued to move against their restraints. The struggle was less now, almost instinctive rather than purposeful.

"I couldn't. I need you." Elliot shuffled forward, getting higher on the bed and closer to Sage as he caressed her face again. The movement had Kendall's eyes on them. "I can't be- You're supposed to be my whole life, Sage. No one else—nothing else. It's been that way for nearly a decade."

Sage shook her head from side to side, sending Elliot a stern glance and pushing away his hand.

"No. If you just-"

"Stop it! You always do that. You always want me to change!" Elliot shouted, causing Sage to flinch violently, eyes squeezing shut as her stepfather stood up from the bed suddenly. Kendall's struggles held more wrath as Elliot paced the length of Sage, head in his hands. "I can't, okay? I've tried already!" He stopped beside her and rubbed at his eyes. "I've tried," he said again, softer this time before finding his strength. The changes, the swings in his mood were happening so fast; faster than Sage had ever witnessed. "And now I'm done trying. Nothing works. The only time I like myself is when you're with me…" Elliot reached out for Sage, sliding his knuckles up the stretch of her arm, stopping at the ties on her wrists with a distant look.

She was everything to him. She was the only thing that made him human. He had no right to give her that responsibility, but Sage felt it anyway. She felt the severe weight of it, and it left her searching for serenity. A piece of her, a sliver that stuck with her from her time in Ramsey, knew that serenity was all Elliot wanted too.

"You believed me before," Elliot murmured, his touch falling away from her. "You believed how much I love you. You understood who I was, what we were…" He stood rigid, straightening his shoulders. "I want you to understand again, and no one is going anywhere until you do. You have to come with me," he begged with earnest eyes. "Leave him here," Elliot added with a glance at Kendall.

"Is that what this is? You want me to choose?" Sage looked at him in shock, finally understanding his intentions.

Elliot nodded and then continued.

"We have to do it over again. Last time didn't work because I forced you. I took you away from him… but this time will be different. This time you'll choose me, and then you'll have no reason to leave again... This is the only way to make it right…"

Elliot paused and watched her intently, watched her as she seemed to consider what he was saying.

"We can go anywhere you want. Start over completely..."

His voice drifted again when he saw her eyes shift to Kendall and then back to him. Elliot knew she was worried about what would happen to him in all of this.

"I won't- … I won't kill him. If I was going to, it would have been done already," he assured her, looking to Kendall coldly.

Elliot had actually been around California for a couple of days. He had forced restraint on himself, feeling a blinding anger whenever he saw Kendall and Sage together while he waited for the right time, a time to set his poorly constructed plan into motion.

"Besides, you'd never forgive me if I got rid of him." Elliot's jaw clenched as he turned back to Sage. She tore her gaze away from him, agitated with herself for understanding him, for believing him. "I just need you to pick me this time, and everything will be okay again."

"You just murdered two people, Elliot. You need help…" Sage began slowly, trying to appeal to the humanity he had inside of him.

"It doesn't matter."

"It should! It used to…" she argued his indifference with disbelief. Despite faking her mother's suicide, Elliot used to respect his position as a police officer, a hero. He confided in her about that numerous times during their year together. Killing strangers was something Sage never considered he'd do, and she wasn't sure Elliot ever had the thought either no matter what he boasted to scare her.

"Just…" Elliot started, closing his eyes with a deep breath, "… Just talk to Kendall. Say goodbye," he told her, like she had already decided to go. Sage let her tears continue as Elliot walked to her boyfriend. He tugged the gag out of Kendall's mouth, unleashing various obscenities that had been boiling up.

"You've finally completely fucking lost it," Kendall laughed, coughing as a steady stream of air filled his lungs.

Elliot paused halfway to the door, having been resigned to ignoring him. When he looked to Kendall, though, his eyes were ablaze, like he had been waiting for a trigger to strike the fire, waiting for an excuse to dissolve his act of indifference and sainthood that had been put in place for Sage.

"This isn't going to work. Sage will never pick you. You're insane," Kendall continued relentlessly. Sage whispered his name, as if to make him stop, but it went unheard. Kendall couldn't tear his focus away from Elliot once he had his attention.

"You're fucking insane if you thought I'd let you have her," Elliot darkened, stalking to the middle of the room and ripping a velvet box from the pocket of his jeans. It was the engagement ring he had taken from Kendall once he was knocked out.

Elliot admired the box with a grin.

"You think I'd let you marry her?" he shouted with a laugh before chucking the case at Kendall, making a nasty thud when it connected with his ribcage moments before it hit the floor. Kendall tried to look up and make eye contact with Sage, but Elliot was in his face before he could blink, towering above him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I needed to ask for permission, Dad," Kendall spat, refusing to flinch when Elliot bent forward.

"Keep being a little bitch; it doesn't matter." Elliot smirked. "I'm the one in control now." He reminded Kendall of that fact by gripping the blonde's wrists, squeezing the plastic ties even tighter against the tender skin. "No one is coming to save you this time."

"The guys know where we are. They're gonna be here tomorrow morning," Kendall warned him, betraying himself with a flinch when his right wrist began to sting, the flesh tearing.

"Then I guess you have until then to get Sage to make the right decision, or your friends will die just like your guards." Elliot smiled when the boy's façade dropped. He leaned closer, putting all of his weight on Kendall's arms. "I'm done playing, Knight. Fucking done." He pushed away, feeling satisfied when Kendall groaned at the shove to his wrists as he walked out of the room.

Kendall immediately restarted his struggling, figuring the worst was over when it came to his abused skin. He was getting used to the pain now.

"Don't let him scare you, baby. We're getting outta this shit and leaving without him," Kendall told Sage, not looking up from his arms, glaring at them as if he could weasel his way out of the ties if he studied the predicament long enough. When Sage only responded with silence, he ceased his efforts. She was simply staring at him.

Her look was blank, causing fear to roll hotly in his stomach. He hadn't seen that amount of distance inside of her in so long.

"Sage?" he called to her delicately, expecting her to startle, but she just regained her focus, a spark of life coming back into her eyes.

"You were gonna propose." Her voice was stronger than he imagined it would have been, and she smiled. It was small, tired, but there. Kendall mirrored it.

"Yeah…" he sighed, looking in the direction of the fallen ring box.

"The candles were cheesy," Sage chuckled softly, but when Kendall looked back at her she was crying. Her smile was still in place, though, as she pulled against her binds.

"Candles are not cheesy. They're romantic, and I'm a romantic kind of guy," he countered teasingly, no real energy behind the words. He felt drained just looking at her struggle, knowing it was more internally than externally, and, for once, he couldn't tell what was going on in her head. "I had a whole speech planned," he continued, watching as she kept pulling, leaving him unsure as to whether she was even hearing him. "I'd say it now, but… I think I'm gonna save it for a better time," he laughed bitterly.

"If there is a better time," Sage spoke, giving up her fight and collapsing against the pillows. She looked to the window, watching the sky glow with moonlight and the flashing of a passing plane. She bit her bottom lip as her hands clenched and unclenched, keeping up their circulation and trying to stay calm despite the fact that this dilemma was too familiar to her; feeling trapped and helpless.

"Sage, you can't- Please don't talk like that…" Kendall begged. His fingers itched to reach out for her, to touch her and calm her, to be her cure.

Sage didn't turn to him for a little while. She merely looked out the window instead.

"I thought I could- but I'm not-" she shuddered and exhaled slowly, squeezing her eyes shut as she turned to Kendall again, moisture gathering at her already-damp lashes. "I'm barely hanging on, Kendall…"

"No," her boyfriend immediately shook his head and writhed in his chair, newer blood lacing the ties at his wrists. "Stop it. You'll be fine. I'm gonna figure out a way to get us out of this, and then we can go home. You can talk to Logan. You'll feel better… Things will get better," Kendall mumbled his last words, biting back a shout when the pain below his hands was becoming too much. There was no give in the ties, no room to pull out from under them, but he didn't want to stop. Sage was fading, and he needed her to keep going; he needed her to fight.

"What if we're better off apart? What if going with him is the right thing to do?" To Kendall's dismay, there was no fight in her words, only hints of resignation.

"You're letting him get in your head again…" he advised her fervently.

"He's only going to let this end in one of two ways, and you, Logan, Carlos, and James dying is not an option I want to keep on the table," Sage reasoned.

Kendall almost expected her to tell him that he was right, to agree with him. He wasn't prepared to be met with dispute. He and Sage were always supposed to be on the same page.

"But ending your life is up for grabs?" Kendall's newfound frustration and confusion fueled his words.

Sage looked perturbed. She was unsure of what to say because "yes" was the answer hanging on her tongue, but she didn't think Kendall would even hear it if she gave it voice.

"We have to consider that me leaving with Elliot could be what's best for all of us as a family," she maintained calmly, trying not to let her volume match his own.

"No, we do not have to fuckin' consider it!" Kendall didn't seem to hold the same self-control. "Why are you so willing to walk into hell? Why do you think you deserve to be alone?" he wondered irately, his aching neck tensing with the rest of his muscles.

"Because I keep hurting you! I keep getting us into shit like this!" Sage exclaimed, no longer holding herself back as she attempted to look right at Kendall from her position. "Elliot is my problem. He's my sickness, and I'm spreading it everywhere I go…"

"That's too goddamn bad, Sage. If I wanted you gone from my life, I would have given up on us years ago. Stop trying to make sacrifices for us, making decisions for us-"

"Why? You do it all the time."

Kendall froze. Sage fighting against him wasn't something that happened often. They never fought, not really since Ramsey, not since their first major setback when Sage insisted they separate.

"But I- That's different." Kendall's jaw tightened and his shoulders leveled as he raised his head to gaze at Sage more directly.

"How?" The word trembled out, her eyes on the verge of shedding tears again, but her irritation still remained. "You always try to save me. You try to protect me from everything. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"Sorry for caring," Kendall rolled his eyes with a huff, thinking how terribly fucked up things had gotten. They should have been attacking Elliot, not each other.

It was quiet for several moments before Kendall dropped his head down and shut his eyes.

"I know how it makes you feel because I feel the same way right now, like you're going to make your choice without me. Like you're going to decide what's better for us… for me..." Kendall pulled his vision up towards the ceiling with a humorless smile. "And the last time you made a choice like that, you became a hostage. You became Elliot's fucking toy."

Sage made a strangled noise from the back of her throat as her whole body flinched at the truth, something that was usually sugarcoated by Kendall, layered with too much understanding and too many soft touches to mask what was really there.

"Sage, I'm sorry. I didn't-" Kendall was immediately regretting it, eyes wide, but Sage stopped him.

"It's okay," she whispered, soft but sure.

"No, baby…" Kendall continued with intent, "I was a dick," he added before relaxing, thinking while watching her watch him in turn with an unreadable expression. "I'm just… You were right back then. I knew that—that's why I left. But this is different. You know what you're getting into now. You can't go with him."

Kendall kept watching her with an ache in his chest, wondering if she was still there, if she had heard him. Her gaze slid away, focusing on the fire near him instead. She was distant again. Kendall could feel her retreating, miles stretching between them and him without hands to keep her close.

"You're not a dick," Sage eventually murmured. Kendall grinned, but he was alone in the action.

"We'll agree to disagree." He forced his tone to be light, hoping to wring a look of brightness from Sage again. He received nothing. "But, the rest of it…" he bit his lip, becoming serious, "…you understand, don't you? You know leaving with him isn't the right thing to do?"

Sage appeared to be thinking again. Kendall had wanted some sort of quick answer—reassurance. Her muteness was scaring him more than her tears.

"Sage-"

Her name barely left his lips before he was interrupted.

Elliot had returned, his swift appearance stopping Kendall from continuing his pleas for something he couldn't quite place. He sighed, his brow furrowing while Elliot went straight for the bed.

"Did you decide?" he asked, full of expectation as he stood beside Sage.

"She's not going," Kendall insisted when Sage only slowly turned to stare at Elliot without a speedy response.

"I'm pretty sure that I wasn't asking you..." Elliot strode over to him, his glare hard as if he'd forgotten Kendall's existence. The blonde protested with curses and painful twists of his neck as Elliot re-gagged him. "Did you decide?" he wondered again, turning his back on the boy to look at Sage.

She replied with a period of silence, so thick around Kendall that he could feel it thrumming against him, making him shake and his head swim.

"I decided years ago," Sage insisted weakly, glancing past Elliot to Kendall for a brief moment, and then her eyes were back to a random spot in the room. Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose before taking a calming breath.

He sat beside her on the bed, jostling her body. She went rigid, and her lips pressed together tightly, but she didn't move as he pulled himself to the space of headboard beside her. He was slouched with his shoulders against the wood, positioned slightly higher than Sage. He folded his hands over his abdomen, and then everything was quiet. Sage didn't pay attention to him, intentionally looking out the several windows on her right instead, trying to wish him away as he sat there in thought.

A few minutes ticked by, and then dozens more.

Kendall didn't know if Elliot was thinking, planning, if he was waiting Sage out, or if he had just lost it entirely, but he kept vigil on him the whole time. He watched every move Elliot made, which only consisted of the rise and fall of his chest.

"What makes him so special?" Elliot's voice broke through the stillness of the room, careful but curious in nature, his usual malice not evident. His brown eyes were on Kendall, who scowled, and then he moved them to Sage. "Completely disregard the fact that I'm your stepfather. What's wrong with me?"

Sage clenched her teeth and turned away from the vulnerable look he gave her. It was what always got to her, always pulled and poked and prodded at her until she cracked from the inside out.

"Kendall never forced me to love him. He's fought for me every step of the way," Sage responded as she compelled herself to stare up at Elliot.

"I've been fighting for you since I met you…" he argued resentfully, lips curling downward.

"You killed my mother in that 'fight'," Sage reminded him tiredly, done being angry without the strength to do so. Elliot's countenance became somber.

"Why can't we erase it all? Be different people?"

"It doesn't work like that. Love doesn't work like this." Sage pulled at her binds, thinking that she might be able to get him to see the truth. She knew he cared, and she had used it against him before when she needed to, so maybe she could manage to do it again.

"But we did work… before…"

Sage deflated visibly, her head falling back.

"We were a couple. We were good. You were happy… I know it."

She opened her mouth to argue but bit her tongue when Elliot reached over to brush a strand of hair from her face.

"You'd just… You'd look so content when you were out of your room. The way you'd talk with me, sit with me… It was normal. It was nice… I never had that before," he spoke faintly, smiling when he pulled back to look at her as he recalled his fond memories. "I even started doing some of my paperwork at home just so we could spend more time together. You would sit in the living room with me while I worked—you were always writing." Elliot sat up, twisting to see her better. His face was bright, alive. "You're so beautiful when you write, the way you hum to yourself… The way, when you get stuck on something, you put your pen down and bring all of your hair over to one shoulder," he reminisced, reaching out to touch her blonde locks again, his fingers dragging down to her collarbone. "You play with the ends and bite at your lip..." Elliot's thumb dragged across her chin, tracing just below her mouth. Sage was still, her stinging eyes shut. It was tragic just how fragile and ultimately distorted a mind could become. She remembered those days just like he did. She remembered them as if they were occurring right now.

Elliot broke out of his trance, turning back towards Kendall when the boy grunted through his gag.

Kendall hated hearing the man's memories. He hated hearing proof that Sage and Elliot were, in their own fucked up way, together. They shared private moments, moments between lovers. Elliot saw even the smallest details that Kendall thought were his and his only. He kept wanting to believe that Elliot was blind, only creating a reality from within his mind, but he wasn't. There were tangible things he held on to, some of the same things Kendall gripped with an iron fist.

"Sunrise isn't too far away," Elliot said as he rose from the bed. "You two should probably talk some more…" he added more reluctantly, but he still had a lightness in his step as he walked over to Kendall. He slipped the fabric from his mouth, turning to leave again, but he stopped mid-stride when Kendall spoke after clearing his throat.

"I feel sorry for you."

Instead of anger like the last time, Elliot's stare held amusement. He folded his arms across his chest.

"For me?" he eyed the bloody ties around Kendall's wrists.

"Yeah, for you," Kendall's gaze held an amusement of his own. "I know what it feels like to love someone, to have them be your everything. Sage knows that feeling too. It's why she gives a shit about you, but those feelings—her 'everything'—isn't you," he insisted with a smirk while Elliot's fell. "You can try to make her forget about me if you take her away. Maybe with enough brainwashing I'll eventually become a blurry memory. But you will never get to know what it feels like for her to really love you back." Kendall blinked up at Elliot, studying him for a moment. "So, yeah, I feel sorry for you, Elliot," he ended more solemn, more sympathetic, than he began.

"You think you're so fucking great?" Elliot shook his head with a snarl. "I was here first! You took her away from me! You ruined everything!" He spun to face Sage. "Tell him! You fuckin' tell him that we had something real in that house. We were happy. Tell him what we had!" he ordered, voice bellowing across the room. Sage flinched and whined, squirming with no actual purpose.

"I already know." Kendall gladly jumped in. "I know what you forced her into."

"N-No," Elliot hissed, pointing at Kendall, arm rigid as if he was struggling to stay put with every muscle in his body. "It wasn't like that. It wasn't like that a-all the t-time." He was breathing heavily when he focused on Sage again. "You said you loved me. You're not a liar."

Sage's lips parted but words failed to come as her eyes filled with more endless tears. She didn't know what to say, what was right.

"She told you what you wanted to hear," Kendall insisted, taking the attention off of his girlfriend.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Elliot rambled, rushing to Kendall only to strike him across the face with the back of his hand. Kendall's vision glazed over with darkness, and he was almost sure he was going to black out because of his previous head injury, but he regained his focus after a few beats of his heart were heard echoing in his head mixing with shouts coming from Sage. She was yelling his name, and then calling to Elliot.

"Don't! Please!" she cried hysterically.

When Kendall looked up, he realized what had changed. Elliot was pulling a gun out of the waistband of his jeans, having once hidden it beneath his shirt. Now it was pointed right at Kendall's chest.

"I won't forgive you!" Sage screamed, one of her own wrists releasing a thin trail of blood as her ties dug in. Elliot paused, the wild look in his eye faltering. "You were right before. I wouldn't forgive you…" Sage said, taking in air and releasing it almost just as quickly.

Elliot stood motionless, holding his breath, but then he let it go. He put the gun back into the waistband of his jeans with clenched teeth, but Kendall still couldn't relax. His eyes stayed trained on Elliot, who hadn't walked away. When he reached back again, Kendall thought he had changed his mind about the gun, but then Elliot dug into his pocket and pulled out a knife.

The blade slid into view, and Sage's sobs got louder.

"Oh, god…" she whimpered, gasping for oxygen at the sight of the knife that made her life hell—her knife—the one that drew her blood too many times. Her heart felt like it was going to fail when she thought about it near the love of her life.

Kendall's attention was torn from Sage's distress when Elliot blocked his view of her completely and bent forward, one of his hands firmly on Kendall's arm like it had been earlier in the night and the other holding the knife between them. He twisted Kendall's forearm, making more blood seep out from beneath the cable tie on his wrist. Elliot forced the limb around until he could see the black tattoo, the replica of Sage's pendant.

"You act like a saint, but you're just a fucking smartass," Elliot spat. "You're no better than me. You are me." Sage begged for him to stop, but he didn't hesitate in his speech, his eyes going to the tattoo etched into Kendall's flesh. "I'm just trying to keep what's mine. That's what you do, isn't it? You fight? You refuse to back down, no matter what the cost? If you were in my position, you'd do exactly the same thing." Elliot squeezed Kendall's arm, being sure to damage the tissue beneath the skin enough to cause nasty bruises where his fingers were placed.

"I'd let her go," Kendall ground the words out, his shoulder shrugging as if to throw Elliot off, but he had no leverage.

"Like hell you would." Elliot tightened his grip. "You'd kill for her. You'd hold on to her because, like me, you know the world is dark. You know people get lost if you don't grab tight enough, don't think fast enough, don't feel hard enough. That's why you need the fire you have, that blaze you never let die in that thick skull of yours." He lifted the knife, jabbing the dull edge of the hilt against Kendall's forehead. "If you give up control, if you give up the fight, everything might slip away just like the things you lost before you got strong enough to keep them."

Kendall titled his head, drawing back from the weapon.

"I'm not you," he asserted shakily. His adrenaline was pumping rapidly, everything quivering with no way to release his energy.

Elliot tried to grin, but his mouth was set in a solid line as his jaw clamped together and he grabbed more steadily at Kendall's arm. He brought the blade to his skin and traced the edges of the tattoo, drawing the heart, the "S" and then the "K" without breaking through the flesh.

"You don't deserve her," Elliot whispered before cutting a line diagonally through the symbol, quick but deep, loving how the boy's head flew back with a shout of agony.

"Kendall!" Sage cried out his name, wanting it all to stop.

Kendall just breathed through the pain, and then he spoke again.

"I still pity you." He smiled as he bled, crimson staining his arm as it poured and he regained his senses. Elliot grew rigid again. He was the one doing the cutting, but Kendall wouldn't stop poking at him. "You're only pushing her farther away." Kendall looked over Elliot's shoulder at the sobbing proof tied to the bed. It physically hurt him to see Sage like that, but he kept his face neutral. "All of this is ridiculous. What the fuck are you hoping to get from it? Murder charges? A girl who hates you for the rest of her life? You'll never be happy…"

"Will you, please, shut the fuck up?" Elliot's voice got louder with each word as he pushed himself away from Kendall and re-gagged the hostage before he could say anything else. Kendall fought him the whole way, but it was useless. "Sage loves me. We're good together," Elliot informed him icily, spinning on his heels.

Kendall's eyes widened, and he began shouting, pleading for Elliot to stop when he realized what the man intended to do. He had taken the knife with him as he walked towards Sage. And, with that, Kendall had no more words, no more witty taunts. He only felt sickening fear.

Elliot climbed on top of the bed, crawling up it to get to Sage. Her first instinct was to get away, but her body had given up on that endeavor in the beginning of the night, so she followed her next impulse: she froze. She subdued completely, muscles lax and arms limp around her head, but she couldn't stop her tears. They flowed relentlessly down her face, Elliot tasting the saltiness when he pressed his lips to her cheek. His hands pulled at her robe, slipping it open and revealing her underwear and bra beneath. She whimpered, her body quaking against her will, when his palm met the flat of her stomach.

Kendall wanted to look away and pretend it wasn't happening, but he forced himself to watch as he kept yelling and pleading. He forced himself to watch what he had caused. He didn't care if he was bleeding, didn't care if he was in pain. His whole point of existing was to put everyone else's pain on himself, and now his stubborn mouth had inflicted agony on the person he loved the most. He struck the match that ignited the fire inside of Elliot head. Kendall was starting to understand Sage's point of view more clearly, starting to understand the guilt she felt for Elliot's choices.

"You love me…" Elliot insisted vehemently, breathing against Sage's neck.

When she cried out again at his weight shifting above her—she couldn't tell where he ended and she began because everything was blending, blurring—Elliot faltered. His mouth hung near her skin, waiting for something. She only continued to let her tears fall.

"This isn't right." The hand he had on the bed, trapping the knife beneath his palm, tightened into a fist. "You're not supposed to cry," he reminded her with a mumble. She couldn't stop, though. She was too aware of the way Kendall was screaming through his gag at the foot of the bed, too aware of the way Elliot felt on top of her "You're not supposed to cry!"

Elliot shouted over them all, grabbing her by the side of the neck as he straddled her. Sage turned away, and Elliot growled, raising his blade into the air. She saw the glimmer it made in the corner of her eyes right before she shut them. Kendall's heart paused, pain ripping through his chest at the same speed he saw the knife rise up and then disappear towards Sage where he couldn't see.

Then everything stopped; Sage's crying, Elliot's yelling, and Kendall's protests.

"You're not supposed to cry…" Elliot murmured again, climbing off of Sage.

Kendall let out a sigh louder than most of his shouts when he saw the knife sticking in the headboard near her arms and her body physically intact.

Sage was hyperventilating as she regained the ability to breathe, her exposed abdomen rising and sinking repeatedly in short intervals. She whined and scrambled away as much as she could when Elliot's hand went near her chest, but he glided his fingers upward and clutched at her necklace. He yanked it from her neck with one hard pull, leaving her to feel more naked than she already was. He held it tightly for a moment and then chucked it to the floor in the next, moving to jerk the knife from the wooden board behind Sage when his hand was free. He deposited the blade onto the nightstand with a clatter.

"I'm sorry," Elliot uttered, dropping to his knees beside the bed, resting his arms on the mattress by Sage's side. "I'm so sorry," he repeated as he looked up to her. Tears were in his own eyes as Sage stared in apprehension. "It's him, Sage. It's Kendall," he insisted, refusing to look at the boy. "He drives me crazy. He never- He can't see us like we really are…"

Elliot rose, edging up onto the bed. He placed himself next to her, his head on a pillow and an arm circling her waist. He kissed her shoulder, moving slowly so he wouldn't scare her, like the action was an apology all its own.

"Remember how we used to do this? How you used to share my bed at night... Remember how you cared about me?" Elliot questioned, his body trembling unevenly against Sage's, almost just as rickety as she was. Elliot hugged her snugly against him. Sage shut her eyes, memories flooding in like tidal waves attempting to drown her. "You loved me." He kept his tone low, shutting his own eyes, feeling her along him, calming him.

Sage lay there, staring at the ceiling, listening to her own breath, mingling too close to Elliot's.

Kendall could be heard panting through the fabric in his mouth. His demeanor plummeted into darkness at the sight of Elliot with Sage, at Elliot's display of power. Kendall was used to pushing the man, begging for a reaction without really getting one. Now that he'd acquired it foolishly, he regretted it, regretted witnessing that evil force turn on Sage because of him.

He had never grasped just how delicate the balance inside of Elliot was and what the consequences would be for tipping the scales.

Sage should have cried—she should have said something—but all she did was gaze upward, staring at the white above paint until she heard absolutely nothing. She felt nothing. Everything was static. Elliot didn't even move, thinking like she was; thinking about things that never should have been but somehow still were.

She didn't know how much time had passed before she moved her eyes away from the ceiling, but the fire was almost only embers, and the sky was morphing into hues of dark blue, undoubtedly fuchsia in the horizon. Sage looked to Kendall, who caught her eye right away, like he had been waiting the whole time. They stared in silence for a while, Elliot still unmoving beside her save for his fingers tracing the faintly ridged line of a scar—one he had left years ago—on Sage's hip.

Kendall ignored everything but her, ignored his jealousy and ignored his rage. And when he stared into her eyes, he wasn't calmed by the soft green like he normally was. He was terrified by what he saw there.

Distance. Detachment. A lack of hope. Final resignation.

His own eyes widened as he began shaking his head forcefully, disregarding the pain and vertigo it brought on. He had to beg her in any way that he could, with everything he had, to stop going in the direction he knew she was. Her vision towards him became even more clouded as she scanned his bloodied arm and his disheveled appearance.

"Elliot…" the noise she made was small. To Kendall's ears, she sounded like a stranger. It made his eyes burn.

Sage didn't flinch at all this time when Elliot made a sudden move to sit up beside her.

"What is it, sweetie?" he asked with expectation, his expression light and his lips curved upward. What Kendall saw as defeat in Sage, Elliot viewed as acceptance; as a win.

Sage parted her lips only to seal them again several times, really thinking about what she was going to do. She wanted some control back. When Elliot had it, he always lost it by making it spiral out of his own grasp. It got too dangerous. People bled. People like Shawn and Bryan. People like her mother. People like Kendall.

"If I leave with you," she began, throat dry and the last of the ache in her chest turning to numbness, "you promise that you'll never come back here? You'll never hurt James, Logan, or Carlos? You'll never hurt my friends? You'll never hurt Kendall?" Sage stared right at him, blinking slowly, forgetting the room around her; forgetting her binds and forgetting Kendall's screams and his free-flowing tears.

"I'd forget they ever even existed," Elliot promised, nodding with a wide smile. He was so relieved. He needed this, needed for her to come to him. Even if it wasn't entirely her will, he needed the illusion.

Sage stole another glance at Kendall, only getting to the edges of his face before she had to rip her gaze away when the burn in her chest threatened to come back. She looked to the ceiling again, the whiteness—the nothingness.

The night had been so long, filled with hours of yelling, tears, and arguments. And, yet, nothing had been accomplished. Day was now beginning to break and Elliot's threat to take James, Carlos, and Logan's lives was imminent.

She knew that she had to make a choice. She knew what she had to do in order to stop everything, to put an end to years of pain and suffering.

"I'll go."


"Someone get the phone!" Logan shouted, a hand covering his eyes as if it could block his ears from the incessant ringing around him.

The bedroom in the hotel was dark, but blue flashing lights came from down the hall through the open door and they felt white-hot to his waking eyes. He hadn't necessarily intended to fall asleep, but he dozed off when he was about fifty pages into a book he found left in the nightstand by previous residents—reading was reading, no matter what the subject, and Logan figured it was better for his mental stability compared to a full night of cheesy sci-fi movies with James and Carlos. The book, which, as it turned out, wasn't all that much more stimulating than television, fell to the floor with a thud when he rolled onto his side.

"It's right next to you, genius!" Carlos screamed back, partially drowned out by the volume of the TV he and James were viewing in the main area of the hotel suite. They had refused to sleep, too excited to get news from Kendall that he had finally proposed to Sage.

Logan's brow furrowed as he slid his palm down his face, cracking his eyes open to see his own cell lighting up on the table beside him, chiming again and again at maximum volume. He shook off the last of his disorientation with a yawn and sat up, legs swinging over the bed and feet hitting the floor. The extremely early morning hour that appeared on the clock behind his phone made him pause before reaching out to grab the device quickly, his mind churning with more concentration. When the caller ID read "Adam Gabriel" he answered it without hesitation.

"What's up?" he wondered warily, hoping the lawyer was travelling, maybe in a different time zone and not caring to acknowledge the difference for a general call.

"Is that really how you answer a phone?" Gabriel's sardonic but playful voice was gruff, tacking on a mumbled "kids" that was more than likely paired with a roll of his eyes.

"You're the one calling me at five in the morning, Gabriel," Logan sighed and rubbed at his eyes as he stood up, stretching his free arm into the air and releasing tension from the muscles in his back.

"Whatever."

Logan snickered at the dismissive tone he'd call equally as childish as Gabriel made him out to be, but then his face went blank when the lawyer's attitude changed.

"Listen, kid, I have some bad news."

"Shit," Logan muttered as he made his way out of the room. He knew that his and his family's 'bad news' tended to be worse than most. "Did something go wrong with the trial setup? I thought everything was going according to plan..."

"Yeah, it was. We were as golden as we were gonna get," Gabriel maintained, "but having no defendant is kind of messing things up."

"What?" Logan stopped walking a few feet down the hallway between him and the main area of the suite, fear running through him.

"Henderson jumped bail. Officer Taylor called me as soon as they found out," Gabriel began to sound as tired as Logan had been. "He does a random check every few days, goes to the house where Elliot is supposed to be... He was there for the last check on Tuesday morning, but this weekend he's a no-show. The dick bag probably ran to Canada," Gabriel added disdainfully.

"What happens now? What does that mean for us?" Logan scratched at the back of his neck and continued walking, making his way towards James and Carlos. The television they were watching was blasting an ill-composed song, something that aimed for tension and intrigue during the credits of a horribly directed alien invasion-themed movie. Logan preferred it, though, to the sound of Carlos squabbling with James.

"A whole town thinks you're wrong!" James insisted from his end of the couch, his lower back pushed against the arm of the cream colored furniture. His stretched out legs met Carlos', which mirrored his position. Both wore boxers and t-shirts and had darkening circles under their animated eyes.

"What town?" Carlos inquired with folded arms and his chin high.

"It's called Jamesville. Population: Me." James jutted both thumbs in the direction of his wide, triumphant smile while Carlos frowned.

"Authorities are looking for him right now. He's officially a wanted man, so that works in our favor, I guess," Gabriel explained to Logan, who struggled to hear over the ruckus.

"You're stupid. You don't own a town," Carlos snorted. James grimaced and then brought back his snarky smile.

"If I did, you wouldn't be allowed in it."

"Hey!" Carlos pouted and turned to Logan, who had walked up behind them with his hand placed against his ear. "Logan, tell James that he has to let me in Jamesville!"

"Sssh!" Logan waved them off with a glare.

"I don't think there's too much to be worried about. You guys have security and, starting today, every cop in your area is on alert for Elliot. I pulled a few strings to make sure his picture got around," Gabriel almost sounded like his usual cocky self, but something was off to Logan. His voice wasn't carrying as much confidence as it usually did.

"I can see it now…" James egged Carlos on, ignoring Logan as he held his hands in the air, spreading them in opposite directions with a dreamy look. "There's gonna be a huge-ass sign right at the entrance. It'll read: 'Jamesville. No Carlos allowed. Suck it.'"

"You suck it, Diamond! I'm gonna get my own town and you-"

"Both of you shut up!" Logan interrupted the idiotic quarrel, startling his two friends.

He dug through the mess of abandoned room service trays and garbage on the coffee table to find the remote, shutting the television off—that irritating song was still marching on—and tossing the device onto the loveseat not occupied by the boys. He ignored their looks of shock and strode to the window as Gabriel spoke to him. The slowly rising sun in the distance was barely brightening the view, but from his location his could still see the shoreline where Sage and Kendall were staying just a few minutes away. All appeared peaceful, most of Malibu in the middle of slumber.

"Everything should be fine. Someone's gonna find Elliot and turn him in," Gabriel answered.

"Is that them?" James gasped in excitement and spun in his seat, settling his feet onto the coffee table and gripping the arm of the couch with both hands to look at Logan.

"Did he propose? Can we go over now?" Carlos squealed, both he and James assuming Kendall was calling after they had waited all night in anticipation. He hopped off of the couch and rushed over towards Logan, ungracefully climbing over James' legs to get there. When the spirited brunette kicked at the back of his thighs intentionally just to get a rise out of him, he glared but dismissed it in favor of reaching for Logan's phone. He was denied with an elbow to his torso.

"I said zip it," Logan reminded them both without glancing away from the window.

"There's one more thing…" Gabriel told him, that odd edge creeping back into his voice.

"What is- Wait…" Logan began but stopped abruptly, something occurring to him amongst the chaos. "Why did you call me?" he stepped back from the spotless glass, eyes dropping from the serene view.

"I- Okay. Don't panic, but Kendall and Sage aren't answering their phones."

"Excuse me?" Logan yelled, pivoting around to face Carlos and James, who were watching with confusion and worry.

"It's late. I bet they're just sleeping, but I wanted to call at least one anyway of you so you'd know what was happening, so you'd be prepared-"

"Get dressed," Logan ordered his brothers, his demeanor stern as he cut Gabriel off. They listened immediately, only glancing at each other before figuring it was best to follow Logan's command. They went for their bags that had been discarded lazily near the front door, digging out actual pants to place over their boxers.

"It's probably nothing," Gabriel insisted, but even he came off a little more hopeful rather than being filled with his trademark certainty. He'd gotten attached to the family of five.

"I'll let you know," Logan hung up before Gabriel could say anything else, and James looked to Logan as he stepped into his sneakers. Carlos stared between the two of them, wishing there wasn't so much tension in the room, but that would soon be the least of his worries.


"You'll go with me?" Elliot asked in disbelief, unable to get rid of his smile when Sage nodded shakily.

Elliot slid off of the mattress and scrambled for the knife on the nightstand. He made no hesitation, even when Sage flinched, to cut the ties from her wrists. Wanting to help her up, he tossed the blade aside again, leaving it open in the same place he had left it before.

"I knew you'd make the right choice, Sage. I knew it," Elliot murmured, sweetly rubbing at Sage's damaged wrists and only dropping his joy for a moment when he saw the blood he caused.

He shrugged off the regret and continued with optimism.

"Our life is going to be amazing. I'll make you happy. I promise," he reassured her yet again, but Sage remained quiet as he stood her up with his hands on her bare waist beneath the robe, unable to stop touching her.

Kendall was writhing in his chair, screaming distorted variances of "don't" and "no" until his throat ached as he sobbed and forced his head back and forth. This was his biggest fear, that Elliot would get Sage—that he'd lose her. Things couldn't end like this. He couldn't let this be goodbye. They couldn't be ripped apart again.

"We have to leave him here…" Elliot spoke of Kendall, but didn't look his way. "His friends will come for him in the morning, so we have to be gone long before that… It'll just be you and me. The way it should be…"

Sage looked at Kendall, a longing in her stare as Elliot's cheek pressed to the side of hers in an embrace, and then she turned her head completely away from him and towards the wall the bed rested against. Elliot kissed her neck after a couple of moments like that, and Sage kept him close. From what Kendall could see, she had an arm wrapped around Elliot, rubbing his back. The rest of her was rigid.

Kendall didn't know, though, that her other arm was reaching for something unseen by both him and Elliot.…

"I love you so much," Elliot reminded her, absolutely lost in the fact that he had happiness, that Sage gave it to him. His hands left the exposed skin of her waist in favor of caressing her face. Sage smiled, a weak curve of her mouth, nodding right before he kissed it.

Kendall thought his life had ended, that he couldn't possibly be breathing anymore, when Sage kissed him back. He shut his eyes from the sight after torturing himself for a few seconds, unable to stomach anymore, but they snapped right back open when he heard a gasp from Elliot. The sound wasn't what he had expected. It was different than contentment or lust. It was shock.

Dragging his vision back to the couple, Kendall found himself sharing that shock, but his own was mixed with relief.

Sage was breathing heavily, not taking in enough air as she pulled back from Elliot and looked between them. His stare followed her own, looking to where she had plunged the previously discarded knife into his stomach.

Blood poured from the wound as she stepped away, bringing the blade with her until the back of her legs met the bed. Elliot stumbled, his hand clutching at his wound with wide eyes.

"S-Sage…" he called her name like she could fix what she had just done.

She only stared, exhaling loudly with a whine, her chest heaving. Every time she blinked, tears fell.

Elliot groaned. His shoulders hit the wall beside the bathroom door, his body slumping and his legs weakening.

Sage gripped the knife tighter, Elliot's blood slicking her hand. She swallowed, trying to calm herself, but she was unable to move as her stepfather fell to the floor, consciousness slipping away. Sage managed to hear Kendall on his fourth muffled call to her. She turned to find him titling his head towards his binds, and that's when she actually realized she still held the weapon in her hand. She wanted to drop it, but she wanted Kendall more.

She hurried over to him, steadiness questionable at best, but she made due. After cutting his ankles free, Sage undid both of his hands, crying harder when she had to dig the flat edge of the blade under Kendall's already mangled wrists to get them free. He never let the pain show, though, merely ripping away his gag and standing to clutch her in his arms as soon as possible.

A part of him was aided by the connection just as much as she was. His body felt off, ears ringing and vision faltering with lightheadedness, but his focus on Sage, the feel of her gave him a reason to ignore himself.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay," he smiled, still panting as she clung to him once she let the knife fall to the carpet below. "We're okay."

"I really thought I was gonna go… I didn't- I wasn't gonna kill-"

"Don't think about it, angel. It's over... I'm so proud of you," Kendall kissed her forehead and wiped at her tears.

Sage didn't feel proud. She felt sick, not like herself. Her reality was splintering and distorting even further than before. She dug her nails into Kendall's back, searching for solid ground but failing. Even her grip didn't feel right, though. So, she yanked herself away. Kendall swayed from the force with which she disconnected, but she stayed close.

All she could see was the blood. It was the only thing she could feel, the only thing she could hear; like it was screaming at her. She seized the ends of her robe and smeared the red all over the silk continuously, trying to get it off of her skin.

"Look at me, Sage," Kendall moved towards her again. He grabbed her hands gently, minding her injures. It took more effort than he thought it would to make her fingers stop twisting the fabric, or maybe it was him who had lost some of his strength; he wasn't sure anymore.

"It won't go away…" Sage whimpered, her head not titling up in Kendall's presence. Instead, it stayed in its downward position, her limbs trying to get away. She had to keep cleaning her hands.

"Focus on me," Kendall ordered, gripping her chin to force her to listen. The franticness in her eyes had him wanting to give up too, had him wanting to curl up against her and forget everything, but she needed him to be strong. "We're gonna get you some clothes, and then we're leaving this place, okay?" He was strict with her, keeping his voice steady and firm, something for her to follow him with even though her eyes refused. "We'll talk to the police, see a doctor. You're gonna be fine."

He kept that poised tone in his voice, but on the inside everything was jumbled, conflicting. He wanted Sage to be fine, but he didn't necessarily think it was a sure thing now. It was so bad this time, and the reminder that he had other breakdowns to compare it to only panicked him more.

"Just stay with me, baby. Can you do that? Can you stay with me long enough to get to the hospital?" Kendall cupped her face, bending his head down to her level. His neck protested the movement at first, but he pushed his way through the pain.

Sage regained some sort of concentration when he mentioned the hospital, breathing in heavily at the word, but she still wouldn't look at him. Her jittery gaze dropped to his arms, watching the way his life poured from his wounds. The scarlet color was the same as her own, but Kendall's felt different. It felt hotter—sicker—where it had tainted her body when he hugged her and scraped open any of his cuts that had been trying to heal already, her waist now covered in the substance. The thing that killed her the most, though, the part that she couldn't let go of, was the way that a certain cut to his arm seemed to damage them both.

His tattoo was struck through with a clean precision, breaking the heart completely.

She reached up for her necklace out of the need for proof that the symbol still existed, that they were still linked, but that wasn't there either. She was bare, and nothing felt right.

"It's all w-wrong," Sage uttered as she looked at his cut, her fingernails burrowing into the skin at the bottom of her throat where the pendant should have been.

"Hey," Kendall cooed, prying her fingers off of herself. He couldn't watch her hurt anymore. "Calm down. I'm alright." He twisted his arm over in an effort to hide the cut from view, but Sage remained fixated on it. "You hear me, Sage?"

She looked like she wanted to answer, lips parting and eyes darting to his for a second, but then she shook her head violently and broke away from him again. Her hands went back to the robe. If she could just get rid of the blood—Elliot's blood—maybe everything else would go away too.

Kendall's heart burned, the ache there more severe than his dizziness was uncomfortable. He had always been the best at comforting Sage, at coddling her, but nothing was helping this time. All of his fixes, his touches and words of comfort, things that always worked, were temporary. She'd see him only to distance herself again seconds later.

"I love you," Kendall touched her face again, not bothering to stop her hands, choosing to zone in on her eyes. His own met hers at his statement, almost a question in delivery, watching the emerald color get a bit clearer as he waited for the response he needed.

"I love you, too," she answered, smiling faintly. Kendall let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding when she seemed present, when he felt like he actually had her in that moment. He kissed her quickly, pushing the feel of her hands still clutching her robe between them into the back of his mind in favor of focusing on the sensation of her lips against his, no matter how briefly it lasted. Kendall pulled back and ran his fingers through her hair, landing another sound kiss to her forehead.

"Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here. I'm gonna get you help."

Kendall let her go reluctantly, turning away and moving towards the door where they had left some of their luggage. He berated himself internally for insisting that they shut off their cell phones and tuck them away to avoid disturbances, thinking that the night would hold nothing but good things. He looked back at Sage to check on her as his fingers fumbled to unzip a bag. He was nauseas from kneeling down too fast, and the circulation in his hands felt minimal at best as blood continued to spill from his wrists.

Sage had gone back to that distant look, eyes wide but watching nothing, and her hands shook as she still rubbed them along the fabric of the open robe.

"How are you doing, love?"

Kendall knew the answer, but he needed her attention. He needed to keep her with him. Sage twisted her body in his direction, at least giving him something, but she did nothing else. She didn't stop her hands.

"We're gonna leave soon," he assured her yet again as he finally found his phone, but before he could even grab it, a small voice echoed through the room.

"N-No," Elliot panted, words difficult to form with his dry mouth. He remained on the floor where he had fallen, but he wasn't done yet. He held his forgotten gun, pointing it at Sage, who watched him like a deer caught in headlights.

Elliot tried to keep his hand steady, but his extremities weren't his own anymore. Everything was numbing, going cold as blood seeped away and his heart struggled to support him. His vision blurred around the edges, but all he needed to see was Sage anyway.

"I'm not going alone," his voice cracked, weak like his body, and moisture built up in his eyes.

He was scared.

"I don't want to be alone…" his arm straightened with the last of his energy, making his aim direct.

Kendall couldn't breathe as he ran towards her with pure adrenaline, trying to get to her rigid form in time. She couldn't save herself. He had to do it for her.

When his hands touched her, the connection didn't feel solid. He didn't know if he was fast enough, but Elliot wasn't waiting for him.

He pulled the trigger.


Logan tried not to speed, tried not to tell himself that something bad was definitely happening, but he had a lead foot anyway. Carlos was in the passenger's seat beside him and James was behind him, his hand already hovering near the handle so he could leap out of the car. He didn't even wait for Logan to put it into park when they pulled up to the gate of the beach house, right behind the SUV Bryan and Shawn had used to bring Sage and Kendall there.

"They have to just be sleeping, right?" Carlos' hands shook as he fiddled with them, quickly walking beside Logan to keep up with James' long legs.

"Yeah…" Logan answered shortly, no confidence behind it.

They all hurried to the SUV, wanting to first warn Shawn and Bryan about any possible Elliot-type-surprises, but the surprise was theirs. Carlos covered his mouth and looked away from the view he saw through the window of the driver's seat. Bryan was slumped back, head titled upward and throat slit straight across.

"He's here…" Carlos turned to his friends.

Logan stared at the body with wide eyes. He'd read medical book after medical book, but nothing prepared him to see a corpse like that.

"We have to get inside." James ran around the front of the car, refusing to look at Bryan anymore. Logan and Carlos followed his lead, the three of them stopping at the gate. James gripped the iron bars, pushing and pulling with no result. "Son of a bitch," he growled, shaking the locked iron repeatedly.

"Guys!" Carlos yelled, bumping into James when he flinched backward in fear. He had been looking around their side of the gate, trying to think, when he'd spotted Shawn.

The guard's feet stuck out near the edge of the shrubbery around the entrance, the rest of his body still shadowed by early morning darkness. They knew he held the same fate as Bryan, both brutally struck down. If Elliot had killed their trained security in cold blood, Kendall and Sage's chances were even slimmer than the boys wanted to believe.

They had no more time to think, though. All three startled, their bones rattling and veins running cold when they heard a sound coming from the property. The noise had their full attention, making them snap their head towards the house. It was loud, a thundering crack, as fast as blinking but chillingly powerful.

There had been a gunshot.

Logan went to open his mouth, but before he could say anything, James was climbing up the gate, his feet resting on the metal supports until he could pull himself along with his arms and ultimately drop down onto the other side. Carlos followed without pause, and Logan didn't even think about his actions before he was doing the same. If it had been any other time, any other people in the house down the driveway they were now sprinting up, he would have called the police, insisting that he and the boys wait until they get there first, but it wasn't just anyone. It was their sister and their brother.

"It's locked," James whined, fighting not to cry when he tried the main door. He began ramming his shoulder into it, Logan beside him in the effort against the solid wood once they decided that their adrenaline may be enough, but they weren't getting very far.

Both jumped back when the shattering of glass was heard.

Carlos had taken matters into his own hands, his face stoic as he smashed a brick, retrieved from the lining of the outdoor entryway, through the window closest to them. He climbed in, jagged glass ripping at his shirt, but he didn't slow down or look back for Logan and James. Instead, he hurried around and swung the door open from the inside.

"Split up and find them, but be careful," Logan ordered in a whisper, unsure of what they were walking into but knowing they could get hurt.

After sharing looks of confirmation, of care and love, the three dispersed through the large house.

Logan went to the living room, the curtains in the open archway leading to the pool billowing in the breeze, but otherwise the environment was still. He felt even more anxiety, though, when he saw blood on the carpet.

James went through the foyer to conduct his own search. He was just halfway to the stairs when he heard more shouting.

Carlos was the first to find Sage and Kendall, the first to walk into the bedroom containing the three that had started everything.

"Logan!" he called for his friend frantically, his hand gripping the doorway at the sight before him. "J-James!" Both boys rushed to where he was, footsteps suddenly loud and insistent in the quiet house, but things were silent again when they saw what Carlos did.

Elliot was slumped against the wall, motionless, with a gun beside him.

Sage was sobbing.

And then there was Kendall, bleeding and unconscious.

"Come back…" Sage mumbled again and again, touching his face as she kneeled next to him.

"Oh my god…" Logan froze in a moment of dread before attempting to jump into action. "Carlos, can you help me? I need you to try and put pressure on the wound with something," he stumbled on quivering legs to Sage and Kendall, leaving Carlos to grab the closest fabric he could find, which was a shirt on top of Kendall and Sage's discarded luggage.

"Come back," Sage cried, her words repeated so fast that they began to slur together. She had yet to acknowledge the others' presence. Her hands touched Kendall's paling face, fingertips tracing his brow to brush his bangs aside.

The bullet wound was to his torso, and he was bleeding steadily.

"What happened, Sage?" Logan asked, checking Kendall for a pulse. He was relieved to find one, not as persistent as it should've been but there nonetheless. He was more scared, though, when Sage barely gave him room to put his hand on Kendall's neck, not moving or speaking to him, not acting like he was even there. "James, take care of her," Logan called out to the boy who was still hovering at the door and sending murderous eyes towards Elliot's fallen body.

James dashed towards Sage as soon as he saw her. She wasn't the brave girl he knew, the girl who changed him. She looked too fragile, with her discolored robe open, her body shaking, and crimson staining her hands.

"Sage…" James called to her as he knelt down, trying not to look at Kendall so he could stay focused on giving help rather than falling into his fears. He took Sage's arms delicately, frowning at her battered wrists. She allowed it, but she didn't look anywhere but the floor as he tugged her away so Carlos could get a better position beside Kendall. "Come on, sweetheart. Let Logan and Carlos help him."

James put his arm around her waist for comfort as they sat together on the floor. Normally that would have calmed her nerves, but she wouldn't stop shaking. She wouldn't look him in the eye as he stroked her hair and mumbled soft reminders to her that things would work out, that they were all going to be fine. He kept telling himself that she was just in shock, that she would break out of her state soon. He'd seen her like this before, but it was never so intense.

"Is that blood hers?" Logan's vision scanned anxiously up and down Sage's body.

"No, I don't think so… It doesn't look like she's hurt anywhere other than her wrists." James attempted to cradle them carefully when Sage began wringing her hands together, her palms running over the already drying gashes.

"Logan, he's- he's bleeding so much," Carlos gasped, pressing the fabric onto Kendall's wound. The sight was covered, but Carlos could already feel the warmth on his hands. "I can't believe this is happening…" he mumbled, shaking his head as his eyes burned. The tears fell when he really looked at his friend's face. Kendall was pale, a bruise forming on his cheek and tear tracks littering his face. He looked nothing like the kid who led their peewee hockey team to victory. He didn't look like the strong young man who worked so hard to keep their family together. He didn't look invincible. He didn't look like Kendall.

"Just keep pushing down," Logan placed his palm over both of Carlos', offering more leverage as he pulled his cell out of his pocket to dial 911.

"We've got you, buddy. You'll be alright," Carlos told Kendall, fully crying and wishing the blonde would wake to confirm his thoughts. He eventually had to look away from his brother's face. It was too lifeless for him to handle.

Keeping one hand over Carlos' two, Logan held his phone snuggly against his ear when the operator answered with a warm, but routine voice, asking what kind of emergency he was calling for. Logan started with the address, the first thing on his mind so they'd send someone as soon as possible, but after immediately blurting that out, he fumbled.

"We n-need help." He had been prepared to explain fully, to use his knowledge, his vocabulary, to speak clearly, but when he actually tried, he felt sick. Carlos was right; there was so much blood. "My friends a-are hurt really bad."

"Okay. I'm sending out some help right away, but I want you to stay on the line with me, alright? What's your name, son?"

"L-Logan Mitchell." He took a deep breath, not used to stuttering so repeatedly since he was a child, but the extra air in his lungs wasn't helping. It only reminded him how much Kendall's lungs were lacking. Logan's leader was weak, his chest not falling and rising as much as it should have been. A night of celebration had turned into one of carnage, and Logan was trying to hold it together for James and Carlos—who tended to rely on him in Kendall's absence—but he didn't think he could.

"Logan, can you tell me what happened?" The man spoke as calmly as he had started, voice gruff, older, but soothing. He reminded Logan of his dad.

"We don't know. M-Me and my other f-friends came here, and Kendall's been shot, and Sage is covered in blood, and-"

"Slow down," the man instructed carefully. "Are they conscious?" He kept his questions basic, not bothering to point out that he didn't know any names and instead letting Logan say whatever came to him.

"Sage is." Logan looked up to James, who was still comforting the mute girl. James stared at him for a moment, eyes glassy and jaw clenching, but then he put his focus back onto Sage. "Kendall's n-not. The bullet went into his chest. He's bleeding out." Logan gazed to his hand that was over Carlos'.

"You need to find something to put over the wound. It needs a lot of pressure to slow the blood flow down…."

"We did," Logan responded more confidently.

"That's good, Logan. You guys are doing great. The paramedics will get there soon. They're not too far away. Do you know who shot Kendall?" The man moved on to his next question swiftly, hoping to keep Logan's attention.

"Yes, he's h-here." Logan looked towards Elliot. His body was slack, his now-empty hands resting at his sides as he lay against the wall.

"Is he-"

"He doesn't need any help," Logan insisted angrily, his voice not faltering.

"Is he still alive?"

"I don't know. He's- he's bleeding, but that doesn't matter," he maintained. The operator paused, silent for a few beats of Logan's thumping heart.

"The ambulances are almost there to help you all," he responded diplomatically. The man had no idea what Elliot had done, and, to him, a life was a life. Logan disagreed, but he bit his tongue.

"Logan, it's getting worse…" Carlos whimpered when trails of blood began to slowly drip down Kendall's side and toward his neck.

"Push harder!" Logan snapped, fuming at him for all the wrong reasons.

"I'm trying!" Carlos cried, stiffening his arms and pushing down as much as he could, but he was never sure that it was enough.

"Stay calm. The paramedics are only another minute away," the operator reminded him. Logan nodded even though he couldn't see him.

"I got this, Carlos. Go make sure they come right here…" Logan told him in a more subdued tone once he had heard the sirens blaring in the distance. "I can hear them," he added for the operator.

Carlos waited until Logan cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear before slipping his hands away from Kendall, leaving Logan to push down with both of his after folding the fabric over so it was thicker. Carlos didn't like being covered in his brother's blood, but he shook off the feeling as he ran to get the gate open for the paramedics.

"I think something's really wrong with her…" James spoke once Carlos had gone. Sage was shutting down, tuning them all out except for Kendall, who had her full attention. She stared at him without wavering. "She's not right…" he continued, brushing the hair from her shoulders and face and rubbing her back as they sat on the floor.

He looked to Logan when he only got silence from him. He wanted answers from the intelligent boy. He wanted him to say everything was going to get fixed, that they'd go back to the way they were, that Sage and Kendall would be healed before they knew it. But those things wouldn't be quick, and they wouldn't be easy. They may not have even been possible.

With Kendall bleeding out beneath Logan's hands, and Sage trembling in James' arms, they could only share a gaze full of what-ifs and silent prayers that aimed to shut the scarier things out.

"Kendall…" Sage mumbled, but she was quickly drowned out by the sound of sirens.

The steady, blaring volume could be heard when Logan told the operator that the ambulance was there.

James did his best to keep his focus on Sage. She still wouldn't look at him, though. Her stare constantly drifted somewhere between Kendall and the stretch of floor separating them.

"It's okay. Kendall's right there," he told her softly.

James heard the sirens stop, lights reflecting off of the walls from a distance, and he knew that they were coming. Then, with sudden movements, he scrambled to cover Sage.

He tied her robe securely around her, knowing that she wouldn't want to be exposed to strangers like she was. He smoothed the material over her thighs, wondering if he should find her real clothes but unable to imagine leaving her side in her state of shock. Settling on the way she was, James sighed and let the hand he didn't have on her waist drop to the floor. It was met with something cool to the touch. He looked down to find Sage's necklace on the carpet between them and the bed. He picked it up immediately and deposited it into his pocket, fearing that the police would take it when Sage was the one who needed it the most.

"They're in here!" Carlos rushed back into the room with help close behind.

The numerous paramedics swept in, two going to Elliot and another pair focusing on Kendall. They gave instructions to each other, ignoring everything as they assessed the scene on hand for their first impressions.

"Do you know what caused these injuries?" one of them asked, glancing up from studying Kendall's wrists. They looked to Logan and Carlos first, both of whom had stepped back, hovering close but out of the way.

"We don't really know what happened… There are ties…" Carlos responded lamely, realizing just how much they didn't understand.

He stared at the broken and bloody cable ties scattered on the floor near the chair in front of the fireplace. A knife rested on the carpet among the mess, nearly touching the box containing the engagement ring Kendall bought Sage. There were ties on the bed too, one dripping with red against the pillows and another still hung loosely on the headboard. Everything told a story, one that was muddled for the boys. They didn't have any real answers for the questions asked by the paramedics or for the ones they asked themselves.

The EMT nodded and then went back to helping his partner, who had been setting up a gurney to load Kendall onto.

"Tell the hospital we're bringing in two patients," another one of the paramedics at Elliot's side called out. They had laid him flat on the floor, oxygen mask in place.

"You're helping the fucker that did this?" Carlos spat, in disbelief that anyone would lift a finger to aid Elliot. "He's done nothing but hurt people. He's tortured her for years!" Carlos yelled, pointing at the fallen Sage. He only quieted once Logan pulled him a few steps back from the scene, careful not to step on anything important in the room.

If Sage heard the reference to her, she didn't show it. All she could do was watch as paramedics slid Kendall onto a board for transport, already getting an IV into his arm and preparing a portable monitor to keep watch of his heart. The boys weren't sure if she was even processing what she was seeing, though. She displayed no emotion while rocking gently in James' hold.

She rocked even faster, her head snapping downward, when someone blocked her path.

"She should come with us..." one of the paramedics who had been attending Elliot originally, a young woman with tender brown eyes, crouched to Sage and James' level. She took Sage's hands to examine her wrists, but dropped them carefully when the girl whined and tried to rip them away.

"She can't- I…" James hugged Sage more tightly, kissing the side of her head. He wanted to tell the woman to back off, feeling protective, but he knew Sage needed help. He just didn't know how to explain her predicament, how fragile she was, or how frightening it would be for her if she were taken away.

"I can't force her to go, but it would be the best thing for her. Those wounds are nasty, and she needs…" even the paramedic paused at the blank look Sage had reattached to her face. "She needs to see a doctor."

James hesitated. Elliot was being taken out, and Kendall was close behind. Logan and Carlos were looking at him, waiting.

"Can I go with her? One of us needs to be there. She wouldn't- She won't be okay without me," James spoke softly, eyes on Sage and then the woman.

"Sure, you can ride with us. She can stay close to her…" she trailed off, glancing back to Kendall briefly.

"Fiancé," James supplied Kendall's title for her, not giving a shit whether or not Kendall actually managed to put the ring on Sage's finger. "Thank you," he murmured, standing up and bringing Sage with him. She made no sound, no protest, when he lifted her.

He carried her the whole way, following the paramedics down the driveway and into the back of an ambulance. Sage just stared at Kendall the entire ride. James' arms were holding her, but she didn't feel them. The only thing she felt was a steady vibration around her, clouding everything as the EMTs worked on the love of her life. Logan and Carlos followed in the car, leaving the police behind to survey the crime scene, knowing they'd talk to them later.

The trip to the hospital felt like decades, but in reality it had only taken minutes. When they arrived, James had to carry Sage again, her own feet not telling her to move even when Kendall was being taken toward the building.

"Make sure a doctor checks her over," the same woman had reminded James as she passed, holding an IV bag high above Kendall's gurney. James nodded and looked around for Logan and Carlos. The two were right there, having left their car parked illegally, keys inside and uncaring about where the vehicle ended up.

Their group stayed close to Kendall, blending in yet taking dominance in the crowded ER. There were crying children and groaning patients in waiting, but James carried Sage, with Carlos and Logan at his side, right through them all. The four of them looked like they belonged there, covered in blood and tears, and the doctors and nurses who swarmed around them were all too busy to even notice if they were supposed to be there or not. They tried to stay on Kendall's heels as he was pushed down the wide hallway, doctors and EMTs loudly exchanging numbers and information only Logan had any hope of understanding.

They stopped their rushing only when they reached their destination, a room with equipment set up for the emergency patients brought in. The layout was open, lots of space around the room, but it was filled with people and supplies. A doctor in scrubs appeared to stop the four of them from entering the room they had just rolled Kendall into. The blonde was blocked off by swinging doors, but the windows were large and clear, so he was still visible.

"You can't be in there while we work. The best thing you can do is stay out of the way," he told them quickly. James reluctantly set Sage down, happy that she stood on her own legs beside him but keeping an arm around her just in case. Logan and Carlos lingered closely, surrounding her. "Someone will look at her as soon as possible if you just wait near the triage section over there…" the doctor, an older man with greying hair, glanced at the distant Sage and then pointed down to the mentioned area that was near where they had come in, a place with several curtains and beds encompassing the nurses' station.

The three boys nodded, unable to ask any questions before the doctor was called into the room for assistance. They watched him go, watched as he slid gloves on and prepared to attend to Kendall's lifeless body. James, Carlos, and Logan thought it may have been a good idea to step away, to take Sage away from the scene, but she was fixated in her place as she watched Kendall through the glass.

She didn't even turn when paramedics, with another group of doctors and nurses, rushed Elliot down the hallway she was in.

"Stab wound to the abdomen. He flat-lined on the way here, but we got him back. He's barely hangin' on, though," one of the EMTs informed the doctors as they wheeled Elliot into the vacant room just across from Kendall's.

They immediately worked on him, frantically trying to save his life just as much as Kendall's. The three boys watched in fury.

"He doesn't deserve to be saved," Carlos growled, wiping away the moisture gathering under his eyes. "Let him die!" he shouted louder, gaining the attention of patients close by and the nurses in the room before they went back to work. Carlos just cried harder, tears hot on his face.

James' jaw was stiff, his teeth grinding as he released Sage to put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder.

Logan watched the doctors in fascination, his brain working a mile a minute, wondering what would happen.

Then Elliot's heart monitor let out a shrill, steady sound.

"Step back!" one of the technicians shouted, grabbing the defibrillator in hopes of restarting Elliot's heart. All Logan could think about was how Elliot didn't have one of those to save.

They shocked Sage's tormentor once, then twice, and then a third time, but there was still no response. Elliot faded completely, becoming a shell on a gurney in a matter of minutes. But he had been dead even sooner than that.

No one knew that the last real piece of him perished the second Sage slid the blade into him, before he had even stopped breathing.

"I can't believe he's gone…" Despite Kendall's still critical condition, Logan wanted to feel relieved, wanted to feel like celebrating. Elliot had been such a weight on them for so long. He controlled them even when he was far away. He ruled their lives, their concerns, their feelings. He shaped who they were for years.

Now he was dead. Really and truly gone.

"It's over, Sage," James whispered reassuringly, watching Elliot get covered by a sheet. But when they turned back to her, Sage wasn't watching at all.

She hadn't watched her stepfather die, hadn't even registered it. The victory was an empty one. It meant nothing. She couldn't be relieved with the guys, couldn't feel happy. It wasn't over. It never felt over. Her lack of emotion and reaction scared Logan, James, and Carlos. She just stood there, eyes on Kendall through the window to his room, her back to Elliot completely as they shut down the deceased's machines. However, their fear was interrupted for the moment when Kendall's doctor stepped out again. Sage didn't even blink at the flash of blue his scrubs made across her vision, just briefly distorting her view of Kendall before he was back in her eyes again. But then, suddenly, he was being taken away.

"Are you his family?" The doctor asked over his shoulder, moving down the hall where they were now wheeling Kendall. They were driving him further into the depths of the hospital.

"We're all he has here. His blood relatives are in Minnesota. Where are you taking him?" Logan spoke for the group, words tumbling out rapidly as he, James, and Carlos followed after the doctor.

"Well," he began, stopping his hurried pace at another set of double doors, these ones more difficult to see through due to "restricted access" signs on the windows, "your friend is in pretty severe condition. We're bringing him up to surgery now…"

Sage didn't move with the group, but she tried to listen through the buzzing in her head, tried to understand what was happening to Kendall—something about "risky"… "blood loss"… "head injury"…"good hands"—but she couldn't make anything out. Everything was collapsing inside of her as Kendall disappeared from view completely.

He was there, and then he was gone just like Elliot. Kendall left her. She didn't have him anymore.

Sage blinked a handful of times, and then her legs began to slowly carry her away. The voices of her brothers and the doctors were becoming even dimmer.

Not bothering to raise her hands, her weight pushing the hinged doors open as she moved, Sage walked into the emergency room Kendall had been in, where they had prodded at him with needles and latex-covered hands. Medical supplies were scattered everywhere, but otherwise the room was empty, most of the staff having dispersed and others following Kendall up to surgery. Blood tarnished the floor, used gauze added pops of red and white to her dulling vision, and glimmering silver tools were strewn on a rollaway table.

"Again, it's best to contact his family as soon as possible," the doctor told the boys after informing them that it would be a while until there was any more news on Kendall. The man made his exit after that, moving through the doors they had taken his patient through.

"Who wants Mama Knight?" James sighed, heart breaking just at the thought of worrying the woman.

"I'll do it," Logan volunteered gravely. "One of you get in touch with Gustavo and Kelly, and the other needs to take- Where's Sage?" Logan stopped abruptly, realizing the girl had disappeared. The last thing any of them wanted was her and Kendall both out of sight.

"Fuck…" James cursed himself for not keeping a closer eye on her, getting caught up in the doctor's words in the hopes of good news. He couldn't help but shudder when he thought about how a "normal" girl, one who was stable, wouldn't have needed to be watched.

They moved as a group, racing back down the hallway. Their eyes scanned the busy area for Sage, but they didn't have to look far. After only a few steps, they found her in Kendall's room, standing at the center of it with a scalpel in her shaking hand. She looked down at it intensely, thinking as tears spilled from her eyes.

"Sage, what are you doing?" Carlos sounded like he had been punched in the gut. He and the others stood just inside the door, afraid to get any closer. They looked to her, then each other, and then back again. No one knew what to do.

"I don't want to be here," she wept, her free hand coming up to clutch at the side of her head.

"We'll go then. Put that down, and we'll go," James insisted gently, keeping his tone soothing.

"No! I'm going alone…" Sage fought. Her crazed eyes looked at him as he got closer. She stretched her arm out and then put the scalpel against it.

"Stop!" Logan raised his hands in her direction, taking his own step towards her but freezing when she whined and flinched backwards.

"Don't touch me," she begged, eyes shut and releasing more tears.

"No one's gonna touch you, sis," Carlos smiled. It made him sick to force it. "No one is gonna make you do anything ever again... Elliot's gone. He's dead..."

She shook her head again, her eyes still shut and the scalpel still to her skin. They wanted to call out for help, but they were sure it would only make her spiral even more out of control.

"Sage, don't you dare fucking hurt yourself," James ordered her, abandoning his soothing tone from earlier. She always helped him with tough love, and he had every intention of returning the favor if he had to. He was crying but he was angry, angry that she could ever choose to leave them. He knew better than most just how much they all needed each other to survive.

"James, wait," Logan whispered, trying to tug him back when he advanced closer to her.

"We can't just let her do this…" Carlos argued in a hushed voice.

Sage heard them, but she couldn't understand. They sounded like insects around her, invading her space, throwing off her senses, so she blocked them out and breathed until the room began to change. It began to feel more like her own reality, the one that was pushing for dominance over the last few hours. Her bed was in front of her, bars on her windows...

There was an extreme dread building up around her heart. It hammered in her chest.

"I want Kendall," she slurred, feeling like he didn't exist anymore, like she didn't know where he was. "I need to get out," she struggled for air.

The scalpel seemed to move on its own accord when it cut into her, drawing a deep line right through the faded scar she had gained during her first escape from Elliot.

"I'm leaving… I can't stay here." She sobbed without realizing it.

She was inconsolable. She couldn't hear the boys yelling. She couldn't feel anything inside of herself, but when James grabbed her she screamed. He wasn't James anymore.

He was Elliot.

"I'm not staying. I need to get out of this room. I don't love you," she whimpered, trying to push him away even though she couldn't see him clearly.

James tried to get her to stop thrashing around, tried to stop her from hurting herself even further. He had to stop her from taking her own life.

There was more panic she couldn't register, more shouting. Was it coming from her?

The scalpel was ripped from her hand, and she cried harder, squirmed with more purpose. She needed that. She needed it to get leverage over Elliot. He wouldn't let her leave any other way.

"Help!"

"We need help!"

That sounded like Logan and Carlos, but they weren't really there. They couldn't have been. She was alone with Elliot. That's all she ever was.

"Ah!" Sage cried out when a sharp pain went through her upper arm, and she started fading completely after that. Her room was disappearing, no more light, no more anything.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" James muttered repeatedly as he let her go, a doctor and a nurse taking over once Sage had been sedated in his arms.

James didn't want to let them have her. He wanted him, Logan, and Carlos to be enough. But all they could do was watch as the doctor loaded her onto a bed and took her away, assessing her arm and her vitals while she lay limp. They hadn't even had time to cope with the fact that Kendall could die, and now they were wondering if Sage might leave them too. Their family was broken. And, this time, they weren't so sure that it could be fixed.

With wet eyes, uneven breaths, and aching hearts, the three boys now stood alone.


A/N: Please don't kill me for the cliffhanger. Venting in reviews I can take, physical assault I cannot :P. I PROMISE the wait for more will NOT be MONTHS away next time :)

Please REVIEW and let me know what you thought of this chapter :D As usual, anonymous reviews are enabled :) I appreciate any feedback and I love meeting fellow readers/fans of BTR. Don't be shy :)

Below is just a longer A/N that was previously posted AS this "chapter" on Wed. concerning recent deletions of fanfics around here, and what to do if that happens—crossing my fingers it won't—to this fic.

Please disregard the tense, as I'm just copying the message from when I posted days ago, just in case my contact information is important to anyone :)

As of late, fanfiction has been cracking down and flat out deleting stories with "unsuitable" content. I'm scared that they MAY get to me and decide to delete my stuff, and even my access, by Saturday (I'm a paranoid person), so I wanted to contact you all here.

IFFFFF this story is deleted, as well as my others, I DO have everything saved, INCLUDING my reviews. It will take time for me to relocate (to figure out where I wish to do it and when), but I WILL NOT STOP WRITING THIS just because fanfiction gets rid of it. The only thing I fear is that I'll lose all of YOUUUUU.

So, I NEED to give you ways to contact me if something happens, if you search for this story or my account and it is suddenly not here anymore. The BEST way to find the current happenings of this story/fanfiction deleting drama, will be on my tumblr. (For those of you who don't know, that is a blog). You can find my page by typing the following: waterwicca-insert a period-tumblr-another period-com. Ignore the hyphens. Just follow the directions. If you can't see the previous text for any reason, maybe editing by the cite, then all you have to do is google my name, waterwicca (that's one word), and "tumblr" together and one of the first links that appear should be me (my page is black/green/blue with a PTS graphic in the background).

On that page, my blog, find a clickable link on the left side called: "Past the Sorrow" POSTS. If you click that, you'll see anything I've said related to the story. THAT is where I will be informing people about updates if this cite is no longer useable. Also, just for your reference, I DO blog daily there in general right now (it's not just something I'll be using as a backup. I DO use it for communicating.)

If you want to go there for communication, but you do not want to make an "account", all you have to do is click on "Ask Me Anything" on the left with the PTS Posts links and type a message (characters are limited). I will receive it, and when I ANSWER it, it will be public and appear on my blog (If it is PTS related, I will make it visible under the "Past the Sorrow" Posts link).

Now, so I'm technically not breaking any of this cite's rules, I must give you SOMETHING to read other than an author's note. Below, as this "chapter's" TEMPORARY content, I will place a snippet of the upcoming chapter for you.

I'm hoping this is all just me being worried, and I'd HATE to be uprooted after being here for so long, but, if I AMMMMM forced out, I hope you'll all stick with me by following my instructions above.

A REMINDER ABOUT THOSE INSTRUCTIONS: If losing me or this story suddenly concerns you, I recommend you copy and paste the above instructions RIGHT NOW to somewhere where you can access them easily, maybe bookmark my BLOG page too (I recommend it because if my account gets taken away, you won't even be able to go to my profile here for info- I will be gone), because if this story gets taken away, this AN/instructions go with it :/

Those are all my announcements for now lol Sorry about the lengthy A/N's, but it's the only way to get in touch with ALL my readers, signed and anonymous :)

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm excited to hear from you guys after so long, and I'm excited to share more soon :D