Chapter Fifty-One

"Good morning, Sakura-chan," Fai said as she shuffled into the living room. The smell of pancake batter and syrup hung thick in the air, and in spite of everything that had happened the previous day, despite the things she suspected about Fai, Sakura paused at the end of the hallway and inhaled, the corners of her lips pulling up into a smile.

"Good morning," she said, tiptoeing over to the kitchen table. The medicine Fai had applied to the cuts on her feet had done wonders, but her wounds still stung when she walked on them. "We're having pancakes?"

"I wanted to make something sweet, considering . . ." He trailed off, his smile dimming. "Well. It will be a few minutes before they're ready. Syaoran-kun is still in his room. Would you go wake him up?"

"Sure." She stood, heading back to the bedroom hallway. Everything seems so normal today, she thought. It's almost like a dream. She paused, suddenly anxious. What if this was a dream? What if Ashura had snared her in a trap after she'd fallen asleep? Usually, when she started dreamwalking, she became aware of it immediately, but she'd still only had a handful of dreams. What did she know of how it was supposed to work?

"Let me out," she whispered, closing her eyes. "If this is a dream, let me out."

Nothing happened. Tomoyo had told her that all she needed to do to escape someone's dream was to ask to be let out, but it hadn't worked when Ashura had controlled her dream. Which either meant that someone was controlling it now, or . . . or she was really awake. If it's a dream, something strange will happen soon. I'll be able to tell the difference. Even if I can't, I'll eventually wake up.

I can't let fear keep me from doing what I need to do.

Resolved, she knocked on Syaoran's door. "It's time for breakfast."

"Coming," Syaoran called from within, voice muffled. The door slid open a moment later, revealing Syaoran in his hoverboarding gear. "Good morning, Sakura."

Her heart gave a little thump at the way he said her name. "Good morning." She studied his face, looking for lines of fatigue or injury. Syaoran had always struggled with admitting when he was hurt, and while she had no reason to believe he was, she'd become so used to checking that she did it automatically. He wasn't wounded, but his eyes were shadowed with exhaustion. As much as I worry about him, he's got even more reason to be worried about me after last night. It's no wonder he didn't sleep well.

As a door hissed open behind her, she jumped, twirling around. Kurogane stepped out of the room he shared with Fai, his spiky hair in disarray, his expression irritated.

"Good morning, Kurogane-sensei," Syaoran said quickly, bowing.

"You don't have to bow every time you see me. We're not training right now." The ninja turned his attention to Sakura. "You all right?"

Her eyes widened. I didn't think he cared enough to ask. "I . . . Yes. Much better than I was last night. Thank you."

Kurogane nodded, apparently considering the conversation over, and headed into the kitchen. Sakura followed, twining her fingers through Syaoran's as they walked. He looked at her, blushing, then squeezed her hand more securely.

"Just in time," Fai said, setting a stack of pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Great. More sweets." Kurogane grabbed a fork, poking at the doughy tower. "There's no way this crap is healthy."

"It was the only breakfast-related thing I could get the autochef to make," Fai said. "It was being uncooperative." He sat, squeezing a puddle of syrup onto his plate before spearing several pancakes with his fork. He glanced at Syaoran. "So, the big race is today. How's practice been going?"

Syaoran hesitated. "We've made a lot of progress."

"It'll take a miracle for us to win," Kurogane said bluntly.

Wincing, Sakura set several pancakes on her plate and began dusting powdered sugar over them. "We have to win. It's the only way to get Syaoran's feather back."

There was a lull in conversation as they started eating. What if they're right? she wondered. What if we don't win? We can't just leave without the feather, but what else can we do? Steal it? She didn't think she'd have had a problem with that if she were stealing it from Shougo's team, but with what she'd done last night, they were almost certainly out of the race. There were no substitutions allowed, and even if she hadn't killed Shougo—something she still wasn't convinced of—he wouldn't likely be well enough to hoverboard.

"We'll figure something out," Kurogane said at last. "Anything that gets us to the next world faster is fine by me."

"Still thinking about home, Kuro-pyon?"

"If you don't quit it with the names . . ." Kurogane growled, a threat implicit in his voice.

They finished breakfast. Afterward, Sakura returned to her room to don her hoverboarding gear. Today's the day, she thought, sliding her goggles over her eyes. No more distractions. She headed back to the living room. The others were already waiting for her, Kurogane and Syaoran in their protective suits, Fai in a neon-orange shirt with blue trim. "Shall we get going?" he asked.

No more distractions, she repeated mentally, forcing aside her suspicions. "Let's go."

They headed downstairs and outside, bypassing the hoverpark they'd visited so frequently these past few days. She found herself wishing she'd had more time to practice, wishing they'd been able to get a hoverboard sooner. Even doing her best to remain optimistic, she knew their chances weren't good. Maybe they would have to steal the feather after the race.

To get to the racetrack, they had to take a train—one piece of technology that Sakura was actually familiar with, although this one traveled much, much faster than any she'd seen in Clow. Syaoran wove a story about a time when he'd been riding a train with his father to some distant country and been delayed because a herd of sheep had decided to huddle on the tracks. Sakura listened with rapt attention, cherishing this moment. When Syaoran talked about his memories, it was often to comment about the holes in them—the gaps where she should have been, where her presence had been removed with surgical precision by Yuuko's price.

Hearing him talk about a memory that was neither negative nor filled with gaps reminded her why she was really doing this. She wanted him to be happy and fulfilled, free from the prison of his amnesia because this wasn't about her; it was about him being as whole as he could possibly be, even if . . . even if she'd never be a part of those memories again. So she laughed in all the right places and smiled when he did, and in doing so, she began to feel like herself again.

Eventually, though, the train ride came to an end. They arrived at their stop shortly after Syaoran finished his story and stepped back into the industrialized world they'd fallen into a few weeks ago. "Looks like people are already registering," Syaoran said, pointing to a booth where several teams of hoverboarders busily signed papers and had their hands stamped so they could pass through the various security checkpoints. Sakura got in line, Kurogane and Syaoran right behind her.

"I'm going to go get a spot in the stands," Fai told them, waving. "Good luck!"

"Thanks!" Syaoran called back.

"Stay out of trouble," Kurogane said.

Sakura stayed quiet. No distractions.

"You seem tense," Syaoran said once they were through the line. "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay. Just focused." She ran her fingertips along the edge of their hoverboard, resolute. We'll win. We have to. "The rules say we can use the racetrack to practice on the day of the event. We should try to familiarize ourselves with the course while there's time."

"Good idea." Syaoran pointed. "It looks like the starting point is over there."

She nodded, setting the hoverboard down and stepping onto it. After her practice with Primera the previous day, her balance and confidence had improved significantly. At least some good came of all that, she thought, swerving from side to side, then executing a hairpin turn. When she swung around, she saw the others staring at her, eyes wide. She blushed, coming to a stop. "Who wants to try first?"

"I'll go," Kurogane said. "I've got faster reflexes than both of you."

She stepped off the board and handed it to him. "Make sure to adjust the dial at the bottom."

"Yeah, yeah." He did so, pausing at the starting line. The track consisted of a shiny black road that rose up and twisted through the air. It had green lights all along the edges, but it was the numerous obstacles that drew her attention. Near the beginning of the track was a labyrinth of walls which lowered and raised themselves seemingly at random. Beyond that, a long ramp which led to a vast open-air segment marked only by a bunch of floating rings. She saw a team that had already started the course make a point of zigzagging through those rings, rather than flying around them, but it seemed to require less agility than the labyrinth did. Some of the hoverboarders added flourishes to their flight, flipping end over end or doing barrel rolls as they maneuvered their way through the course.

She began to feel very, very worried about their chances of winning.

Kurogane made it through the first obstacle all right, though she heard him cursing as he darted out of the way of the walls that shot up in front of him. He did better with the second obstacle, but after that, the track twisted away from her, out of sight. If I want to find out what's beyond that bend in the path, I'll have to run the course myself.

"Hey, princess."

Her spine went rigid. She spun, nearly calling on her magic before remembering Fai's warning about overextending herself. Primera stood a few feet away, leaning on her cherry-pink hoverboard and smirking as if nothing had happened yesterday. "What do you want?" Sakura demanded, her voice coming out an octave higher than usual.

"Oh, nothing," Primera said, her voice light. "Wanted to let you know that Shougo's out of the hospital."

He's alive? She swayed, a little dizzy. Part of her felt relief—if Shougo was alive, then she wasn't a killer. The other part had gone cold with terror. Shougo was alive. He'd tried to keep her from attending the race, and now he was out of the hospital. Would he be racing today? Or would he simply sabotage her and her team? Or something worse? "That's . . . good to hear," she said, voice thin. Act normal. "Send him my regards."

"What's this all about?" Syaoran stepped closer to her. No, she thought—he stepped slightly in front of her, feet shoulder-width apart, body tensed to spring. Kurogane had been teaching him how to fight, and he'd already been good at it before he'd lost his memories. Did he think he could protect her? Could he protect her?

"Just checking up on the competition," Primera said, but her smile was gone. She looked at Sakura. "There's a tough stretch of obstacles in the last third of the race. Might be too much for your skill level. You should probably have one of your teammates run it instead."

Why is she helping me? Sakura wondered, eyebrows pulling together. Is she trying to trick me somehow, making me think the third section of the race is more dangerous when it's really one of the other sections I should be worried about? Or is she being honest? Does she feel guilty about what she and her teammates did to me? She must have been in on it—she was there—but she wasn't the one who drugged me, and she didn't make up the plan. Sakura frowned. Primera had actually had a perfect opportunity to take her down, right as she'd been desperately fleeing from Shougo. But instead of grabbing her, Primera had stepped to the side and allowed her to pass. She'd still ended up getting pinned and nearly killed by Shougo, but . . .

"Seriously, princess," Primera said, lowering her voice. All traces of levity had vanished from her expression. "If you're going to insist on racing today, don't pick the last section. You'll crash and burn."

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't have to listen to you."

"Sakura, what's going on?" Syaoran asked.

"Nothing," she said. The last thing she wanted to do now was make Syaoran worry about potential sabotage. "Thank you for the advice, Primera, but I will participate in whichever segment of the race I see fit."

Primera's eyes narrowed. She dropped her hoverboard and stepped onto it. "Try not to die, all right? It would ruin the fun." She zipped off, heading for the stands.

Syaoran turned, meeting Sakura's eyes. "Was she . . . Was she the person who hurt you yesterday?"

"No." It was a truth that bordered on a lie, and she felt a twinge of guilt even as she contemplated her options. It was my choice to go on this journey. If the third leg of the race really is the most dangerous, then it's only right that I be the one to take it on.

Kurogane finished his circuit around the track, returning with the hoverboard. "You want a rundown of what's out there, or are you just going to go?" he asked her.

She took the board from his hands. "I want to see it for myself." I have to learn not to let fear or uncertainty keep me from doing what I need to do.

"Be careful," the ninja said. "Don't worry about speed this time around—worry about making it through the obstacles without crashing."

"Okay." She stepped onto the hoverboard, tilting her head back to look at the course. No distractions.

She leaned forward and glided onto the track.


Author's Notes:

Today, I have made the most wonderful discovery. "What sort of discovery?" you might ask, and my answer is that I have discovered that one of my greatest dreams has come true. Dear readers, today I have discovered that this story (along with Shatterheart) now has its own page on TV Tropes.

To explain more fully, TV Tropes is a wiki, edited by thousands of anonymous readers, which details the tropes (defined as "devices and conventions that a writer can reasonably rely on as being present in the audience members' minds and expectations") present in various media. It is a massive resource for budding writers who want to become more aware of their audience's expectations, as well as a great place for fans of a work to get more information. Of particular note, TV Tropes houses countless pages dedicated to naming the tropes in TV shows, books, comics, anime/manga, and even well-received fanworks.

With all this in mind, I think you can understand what an honor it is to find that not one, but two of my stories, now have their own pages on the TV Tropes wiki. To know that someone out there considers my work to be worth the time it takes to create a page dedicated to it is, quite literally, the most profound gift I have ever received in my journey as a writer. As I do not know who created this page, and thus cannot thank them personally, I wish to express my gratitude here:

It is because of readers like you that I can wake up every day and believe my writing has a place in this world. It is because of readers like you that I can honestly say that I have had one of my most precious dreams come true. And it is because of readers like you that I will continue to pursue the rest of my dreams. It is not often that I can say I am inspired. Most of the time, writing is drudgery, a chore to be endured in the hopes that I might catch one tiny spark of inspiration that every artist, writer, musician, or other creative mind seeks to touch when they take their instrument of choice in hand. But I will say it now: You have inspired me. You, the person who created pages on TV Tropes for my work, and also you, the readers who have supported and followed my work, be it in the form of reviews or just by being here for every new chapter. You are all brilliant and amazing, and it is people like you who make dreams come true.