Hey guys! thank you so much for putting up with the craziness of the last few days. as i promised, here is today's chapter. I will also be gone tomorrow and come back friday, and i will definetly post both chapters up friday afternoonish- nightish... we'll see.
And i must apologize to those who are completely distraught over what i have done to out boys... especially Blaine :( I'm a horrible person.
Anyway... i hope you enjoy this chapter. :D
"Hey dad," I said, sitting up slightly and rubbing my eyes as he entered the room. "Where were yesterday?"
He still walked quietly and stood at the foot of my bed, his face in the shadows.
"I'm sorry I woke you kiddo. I just... I needed to take care of a few things. I'm sorry I wasn't here."
I could tell something was wrong. His voice was deeper than usual, cracking at certain points.
"Dad? You don't have to hide anything from me... You can tell me."
He stepped closer and sat on the edge of my bed.
His eyes were red, slightly puffy, tear tracks running down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry... I-I just-"
"Don't apologize dad... I understand," I said as my own tears started to form. "He's going to pull through... I know he will."
He smiled and patted my knee, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"So how are you feeling? How's your head?"
I shrugged.
"Don't give me that... Honesty, remember?"
"It hurts a little... But the nurse came in and gave me some prescription drugs they are sending home with me. They want to get me off morphine so my body can adjust to the new prescription."
We sat there in silence, not really knowing what to say. What was there to say exactly? Nothing at all.
"Dad? Can you do me a favor?" I asked as tears started forming yet again.
"Anything kiddo."
"Will you hold me?" My voice shaking as my bottom lip quivered, tears rolling down my cheeks at a rapid pace.
I slid across the bed, making room for him to sit next to me. He took the vacant seat and wrapped his arms around me as I leant my aching head on his shoulder.
"Its ok Kurt... It's ok to cry."
I let it all go. I didn't care that I was pouring my emotions out in front of someone other than Blaine, I didn't care that that person just so happened to be my dad. I just needed someone to hold me and tell me that it was all going to be alright.
I hadn't done this in years. It felt foreign, odd almost to be this close to my dad. But at the same time, it was comrforting. I felt safe. But it wasn't the same security I felt when Blaine held me. Somehow this was stronger. Instead of the love and affection of a lover, it was of my own blood, the one who raised me to be the man I was at that moment.
My body shook as I grasped his flannel shirt and buried my face in his chest. I was shocked when I felt something wet land on my bare neck, but I pushed it aside and cried in his safe, protective arms.
"How is he doing today?"
"He said his head hurt earlier but the nurse gave him some pills. But I don't know how he's doing now. I think everything hit him at once and then he was asleep."
"Alright, I'll come by to check on him later. If you need me sooner, just press the call button."
"Thanks doctor."
"Dad?" I asked as I slowly opened my eyes, feeling arms around my shoulders.
"Well hello there sleepy head. How are you feeling?" he asked as he loosened his hold on me slightly so I could move.
"I still have a headache but it's bearable. Did I really fall asleep?"
"Yeah... You were out for three hours. Do you feel semi rested?"
I nodded against his shoulder and closed my eyes.
He chuckled slightly. "You wanna sleep some more?"
I nodded again against his shoulder.
"Alright kiddo, just rest," he said as he tightened his hold on me once more.
(Burt's POV)
I leaned my head against the pillows and closed my own eyes. I was exhausted- emotionally and physically.
I felt bad for leaving the hospital the day before, but I needed to get away. I couldn't will myself to stop crying. And of course with my personality I had to run away from the pain- so I drove to Westerville and back.
I drove to Dalton and just sat in the parking lot, looking at the building, memories from the year before coming back.
"How you doing buddy? You ready?"
He sighed. "As ready as I can be."
He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes.
"It's going to be fine Kurt. Everyone is going to like you. And didn't you say that you already met three boys? What were their names again?"
"Blaine, Wes, and David. It's not just that... I'm really going to miss them. They're my best friends... My very own dysfunctional family."
I smiled a little, knowing exactly what he meant, as he opened his eyes once more.
"As much as I would love for you to come here so you can be safe... You don't have to if you don't want to... It's entirely up to you."
I so wished he would say that he was going to be fine and walk into that building, head held high.
"No... I'm tired of being so scared all of the time. I need to feel safe."
"Alright... Ready to go in?"
He nodded and we were both walking into the building together.
"Hey Kurt! How are you doing?" a student asked as we walked in the door. "You must be Mr. Hummel. My name's Blaine," he said as he extended his hand. I returned the gesture and was surprised when his shake was firm and sure- something I respected in a person. Especially a teenager.
"Hi Blaine," Kurt said quietly.
"So I was instructed to show you around and stuff- not that I'm complaining or anything."
"Alright. I'll see you after school Kurt. I just need to go to the office and get some stuff organized."
"Alright, see you later," he said as he walked off in the other direction with the dark haired boy.
I couldn't help the twinge of jealousy that occurred. I didn't really know what of. The fact that he didn't even give me a hug goodbye like he always did, the fact that this kid (what was his name again) made him smile when I couldn't? I didn't know. So I turned and walked toward the office silently, hoping that Kurt would be truly happy here.
(Kurt's POV)
"Hey, how are you doing?"
"Mmmm good." I sat up from my position and looked at my dad. "How are you doing?"
"Don't worry about me kid... You'll never get better," he said with a smile.
I tried to reciprocate but it faltered.
I saw right through it. Any Hummel man knew to avoid answering a question was to pinpoint everything back on the other person.
"Can I visit Blaine?" I looked to the clock and saw it was two. "I want to be there before visiting hours ends at five."
He got off the bed and walked to the door, calmly calling a nurse.
Ten minutes later we were both headed up to the eighth floor- Intensive Care Unit.
"Want me to go with you?" he asked as he wheeled me out of the elevator and onto the floor.
"I kind of want to be alone... Sorry," I said, feeling bad that I admitted that I didn't need him at the moment.
"It's ok kiddo... You got it from here?" he asked as we sat in front of his door.
"Yeah... I'll call you if I need you."
My dad gave a nod and walked over to the nurse's station- probably to ask about his condition.
I slowly opened the door and quickly pushed the wheels forward so it would stop the door from closing.
I was starting to get the hang out of the wheelchair. I had practiced a lot the day before when the doctor said that if I felt up to it I could go around the hospital. Of course I had to say yes. I was getting tired of the small room- I needed the freedom.
I rolled over to the spot I had taken yesterday and put the wheels into locked position.
"Hi Blaine," I said softly as I leaned foreword and gently took his hand.
His face was still pale, the red scars standing out; the black eye he had received from Trent seemed to have gotten darker.
"There are rumours that I might be able to go home tomorrow. I don't know if I'm happy or sad about that. I like the idea of getting out of this stupid hospital and into my own bed. But another part of me hates it because I know that when I get home, you won't be there. You won't be there to sing me to sleep, to comfort me when I have nightmares, to kiss me and tell me I'm perfect." A tear rolled down my cheek but I let it be.
I grabbed his limp hand with my other one so that both of mine were encircling his. I brought the three hands up to my lips so they could brush against his knuckles, my bottom lip quivering at the touch.
"I miss you Blaine. I need you," I said as I leaned my forehead against the still interlinked hands. I squeezed his lightly and was further disappointed when he didn't respond. I so desperately wanted him to. I wanted him to open his eyes and tell me it was all a joke; that he was perfectly fine. I wanted him to take me in his arms and hold me like there was no tomorrow. I wanted his soft, pink lips against mine, our tongues moving with each other. I wanted his hands on my hips like he always did; I wanted the security his touch gave me.
I just wanted him back. Period.
But I knew that it probably wasn't going to happen today, and maybe not tomorrow. But I knew he would eventually.
(Blaine's POV)
I heard a distant voice in the dark. I tried to call out, to see who it was, but no sound escaped my throat.
I tried again. Still nothing.
The voice seemed broken and lost, but still so angelic and beautiful. I wanted to run to this voice to see who it was and to hold them. I tried running in the direction I thought the sound was coming from, but I only seemed to be getting farther away.
That's when I saw it.
The light at the end of the tunnel, if I may. I started to run faster, hoping it would answer my questions, to lead me to the gorgeous voice that was speaking.
But soon the voice stopped and the light went away.
(Burt's POV)
It had been a little over an hour when I decided that Kurt should probably get some more rest. The doctor said it was the only way for him to get better, and I was willing to make my son do anything possible if it meant he didn't have to be in the physical pain.
From what I had learned from Nurse Tracy, Blaine was still unresponsive, but no one was giving up hope. Even without knowing him personally, everyone on the staff knew he was strong enough to get through it.
I slowly pushed open the door and gently shut it before walking behind the curtain and smiling slightly at the sight.
There was Kurt in his wheelchair, his hands around Blaine's left, and his head against the mattress. It was obvious that he had been crying because of the tear stained cheeks. I didn't have the heart to wake him and tell him it was time to go. Nor did I have the heart to gently push him up and wheel him out of the room.
I simply walked out to the nurse's station once more and explained the situation.
She contemplated it for a few moments and finally gave in.
"Alright... Just for the night though. I know what you're going to ask next, and yes you may stay as well."
I smiled as I laid a hand on hers briefly before returning to the room.
Even though it had only been a minimum of five minutes since the time I had left, I found that Kurt was in a totally different position.
Instead of sitting in his chair, he had managed to hoist himself onto the bed and lay his head on Blaine's chest, his arm slung loosely over his stomach. If I looked closer I could have seen a small smile on his lips as he continued to sleep next to the lifeless boy.
I smiled myself as I retrieved a couple extra blankets and laid them over my boys.
I gently kissed Kurt's temple and made my way over to the other side of the bed.
I sat in the chair and simply stared at the two sleeping boys. But I knew it was a lie. One was sleeping... The other only seemed like he was.
As the thought occurred, a tear slipped down my cheek as I held the boys fingers that were exposed from the cast. I ran my thumb against his knuckles, smiling through the tears.
My thoughts drifted to when Kurt first told me about Blaine being kicked out, the moment I knew that it would be more than a temporary arrangement. I remembered how my eyes burned with anger at his own blood as they tossed him to the side as if he was a piece of trash, letting us pick him up and do whatever we pleased. I remembered how he broke in my arms, sobbing into my chest, remembered the scars he showed me. I remembered all of the events that had happened the last two months.
This, of course, didn't make anything better. It just showed me more reason as to why we brought him in. Why I was proud to call him my son. Not only was he good for my son next to him, but he was good for my family.
"Blaine... We need you buddy."
So i must ask... what do you think of Burt/Kurt stuff and Burt/Blaine? does it fit? do you like it?
honestly, i don't know how i feel about it. i have always been in awe of Burt and Kurts relationship... but does it seem out of place in this story? does it fit just right? let me know! I live for constructive criticism! :D
