Chapter 53
The Hokage looked through reports long into the night. He had news on the new academy, the restructuring, and various things that required his attention.
He stopped and rubbed sore eyes. Something is different in here, he thought. He couldn't quite place what it was, but he felt that he was missing something small but obvious. It was the same way he felt when dealing with a genjutsu. He slid his hands under the desk as casually as possible and made a few hand signs. He released a net of chakra that spread through the room.
He looked for the tale-tale disruption in the blue chakra covering the floor, walls, and ceiling. What I wouldn't do for a Sharingan right now, he thought. I wonder if one of those dammed Uchihas managed to sneak in here somehow.
He used several other jutsus, but saw nothing out of place. The windows were locked; he could see that from his seat. There were no discolorations that he didn't remember. Nothing blurred around the edges or lacking detail. It didn't seem like a jutsu had been used on him.
He studied his office, moving methodically around the room clockwise until he came back to his desk. He sighed with relief. It's just the lamp, he thought. Rin had insisted of buying him an atrocious floor lamp. It had been made to look like a tree, but he supposed the "artist" probably never actually saw a tree in his life. The only thing good about it was that it gave good light for his studies.
And now he saw that on one of its five stylized "branches" a bulb had gone out. He left the overhead light off at times, and the room had darkened just enough to tire his eyes.
I'm getting paranoid in my old age, he thought. A light goes out and I start looking for enemies. But it's not paranoid if it's a reasonable fear. I didn't live this long by overlooking subtle attacks. Those Uchihas have more reason to kill me than anyone I know – or at least more passionate hatred against me.
He released the jutsus he'd been using to search the room. I have to do something about that clan, he thought. I don't want to have to use Itachi against them. I've done enough to that poor boy already. There has to be another way.
He buzzed Rin. "I need another light bulb for the lamp. It's too dim in here."
"Yes, Hokage-sama," she said. She came in just a few minutes later and put it in for him.
"Why did you buy that ugly thing?" Sandaime asked.
"I know it doesn't fit with the rest of the office," Rin said, looking around at the natural look that the Hokage liked. He preferred natural wood and rock for decoration. "Hyuuga Kyzuki made it. The Hyuugas are such a sensitive clan, and they're so proud of their artists. Kyzuki is considered to be one of their best – by his own clan at least. Considering the Uchiha problems I thought it would be good to find a way for you to connect personally with the Hyuugas. They don't like the Uchihas either. If it comes to it I think they would be loyal to Konoha. They're as proud as the Uchihas, but they're still part of the village. The Uchihas almost aren't anymore."
He looked at the prim little woman in her severe grey dress. "You've been studying the clan histories I suppose?"
"Yes, Hokage-sama. I try to keep up on social matters that might affect you. With my security clearance it's not hard."
"You have an uncanny instinct for political thought," Sandaime said. "You would make a good strategist."
She smiled warmly. I bet not many people see that smile, the Hokage thought.
"I haven't seen you smile in a long time," he said.
"My daughter visited me while she was in town," Rin said. "I was worried about her. We didn't used to get along, but we talked together. I feel better about her now."
"I'm glad to see you happy again," the Hokage said. He saw that she had been filing. "I'll leave you to your work."
That's an amazing woman, he thought. If I was 20 times younger and she was 20 times less of a hothead…
He returned to the never ending pile of paperwork and scanned quickly to see what couldn't wait until the next morning.
He stopped at a list of children that had seen some field experience, but not enough to severely traumatize them.
Umino got that organized quickly, he thought. I'm glad that he took up that responsibility. Opening the academy must have been enough work by itself.
He found his son's name. This can't be, he thought. He didn't know Asuma's teammates, but his new sensei was Uchiha Yori.
It could be a coincidence, he thought. Part of the reason I picked Umino Taru was that he gets along with almost everyone and I know he's politically naïve. We checked him thoroughly.
He buzzed Rin again. "Do we have a file on Uchiha Yori?" he asked.
"Probably," she said. "We have a file on most of the Uchihas. If he's been important in any way he'll be in the cabinet."
"Find it for me," Sandaime said. He glanced at Asuma's name on the list. "It's important."
She brought the file quickly, her heels clicking loudly in the large room. "Where do you want it?" she asked.
He took it from her. "I need to look this over now. Have a seat," he said, waving to a chair. "I want to bend your ear."
She sat properly, her ankles daintily crossed. Sandaime couldn't help but notice her long legs under the knee-length skirt. Like most kunoichis she had toned muscles, but she managed a sort of stern elegance. He reminded her of a quartz crystal.
She treated him more warmly than most people he'd seen her with. He didn't know if it was out of respect for his position or a personal regard, but he was glad she wasn't the ice-queen she seemed to strangers when she was with him. There were times when he would enjoy talking with her when he was stressed, but tonight he only had one thought. She was a good listener, and it helped to work his thoughts out loud.
"Let me know what you think about this. This Uchiha is my son's new sensei," he said. "I'm sure you can see the problem."
"Do you think it was done on purpose?" she asked.
"I doubt it," he said. "I wouldn't have pushed for Umino Taru to be the new head sensei if I had any doubt as to his loyalty and honorable nature. We had him so thoroughly checked that his file probably has what brand of socks he wears. He's not the sort of man to do anything to hurt one of his students, and if this had been done purposely it would be for just that."
"Are you going to get Asuma a new sensei?" Rin asked.
"I need to," he said. "I have to find a reason that won't look like I'm just reacting out of spite. Most of the village probably knows that the Uchihas don't like me, but I doubt anyone but their own clan know why. I've told my Jounins and the Anbu, but the rest of the village is probably in the dark. This is exactly the sort of thing they could use against me."
"How so?" she asked.
"So far all we've done has been professional – or at least it could look that way. This is obviously personal."
"You could just assign him to a new sensei before the list goes public," Rin said.
"It's too late for that," Sandaime said. "The senseis have already been told who their teams will be. The list was posted at the academy."
"Asuma has some special abilities with wind chakra, doesn't he?" Rin asked.
"He's a genius," Sandaime said, feeling the familiar pride in his son.
"Wouldn't it make more sense for him to have a sensei that was of a wind nature? It's not a common affinity." She smirked.
"You're a cagey woman, Rin," the Hokage said. "It would make sense. I'll need to reassign other students to cover my intentions. If Asuma is just one of those students I doubt anyone could find fault with me. Thank you, Rin. You always help me get my thoughts straight."
"I'm glad to be of service, Hokage-sama," she said, and he saw that welcome smile again.
"He's a war hero," Sandaime said. "His file said that he lost an arm and most of an ear during a nasty battle. He had a Genin team about 10 years ago that was incredibly successful. If he wasn't an Uchiha I would be happy that he was Asuma's sensei, but I can't take the chance that this might be a trap."
"I can do some discrete research," Rin said.
Sandaime shook his head. "I made my decision. I'll reassign a good student to Yori. If he's innocent he deserves a good team."
"When did that list come out?" Rin asked.
"This morning," the Hokage said.
"It would look bad if you moved him that soon," Rin said. "You might want to move a couple other students before Asuma. I'm sure there are a few that would do better with another sensei. A week or so would probably work."
"That's a week that my son might be in danger," Sandaime said.
"I wouldn't think that if he's going to hurt Asuma he's do it that soon," Rin said. "He'll want to cover for himself too."
"That's a lot to risk," Sandaime said.
"You could have an Anbu watch Asuma," she said.
"RABBIT would be the best choice," Sandaime said. "He's an expert at camouflage and subterfuge. Even a Sharingan can't find a person if no one is looking for him. As long as he's undetected he should be fine, and I've never know anyone to notice RABBIT unless he wants to be seen. I'm not happy about this, but I think RABBIT can keep Asuma safe for a week."
He dismissed Rin and summoned one of his hawks. Even without being summons they were smart, viscous birds, and he used them to summon people occasionally. He was proud of his work with them. They were almost as smart as the Inuzuka's dogs.
"Find RABBIT," he said. "Two screams, one claw in the ground. He'll know what it means. You can find him at his house tonight."
The bird nodded, and when he opened the window it flew out quickly.
RABBIT arrived a short time later. "What are your orders, Hokage-sama?" he asked.
The Hokage explained the situation to him.
"I'll keep a close eye on Asuma," RABBIT said. "I'll protect your son with my life."
When he got home, Sandaime watched Asuma sleep again. He looks so innocent when he's sleeping, he thought.
He remembered Kakashi's situation. It must be horrible to be Sakumo. I can at least try to protect my son. He's almost cut off from his. I should speak with him sometime. Just because I can't be merciful as the Hokage doesn't mean I can't be merciful as his friend.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sandaime decided to visit Kakashi the next day, but he stopped in the lobby when he saw Gai sitting with his head down. Gai's head jerked up, and he rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"Good morning," Sandaime said. "Are you still waiting for Kakashi? I hope you've been sleeping. You don't look like it."
"I'm afraid he'll be let out and I won't be here," Gai said. "I haven't been able to see him since he got sick, and I don't want him to think I don't care."
"I'll let him know you're here," the Hokage said. "He still has about a week left. You need to go home and rest."
"But…" Gai began.
"Do I need to make that an order?" the Hokage asked.
"No sir," Gai said. "I'll go home. When can I come back?"
"You can come back tonight, not before." The pleading look on Gai's face reached him. "He knows that your parents won't let you see him. A good friend won't let something like that anger him. He'd be much happier if you could tell him about your training. Have you been assigned to your new sensei?"
"He's on a mission," Gai said. "He's supposed to be back tomorrow, and I'll be meeting with my new team."
"You should enjoy that. I'm sure Kakashi will want to hear all about them." He remembered the last time he'd seen Gai. The boy had been extremely energetic and positive. "He might be down when he gets out. I bet you're up to cheering him up, aren't you?"
Gai's slumped figure straightened and the Hokage saw his eyes light up. "I will be the best at cheering him up, Hokage-sama! Yosh."
"Er…ok then," the Hokage said. "I'll see you another time – hopefully more rested next time."
What a strange boy, he thought as he watched Gai practically run out the door. I'm glad Kakashi and Asuma have a friend like that.
CAT sat in the corner chair, and Kakashi was sitting on the throwing cards at his hitai-ate, which he'd laid near the foot of the bed. Sandaime had to purposely keep his face from showing surprise.
He's so thin now, Sandaime thought. He didn't look this bad the last time I saw him.
"Hokage sama!" Kakashi said. "I didn't expect to see you."
"I wanted to see how you were doing," Sandaime said. "CAT's last report concerned me."
"I'm better," Kakashi said. "It wasn't anything. My other teammate Rin came by, and I thought Obito was here. My hallucinations are getting better - really. This won't keep me in here, will it?"
"You still have about a week until the medication is fully in your system. I don't see why you can't go home then. I want you to visit with Dr. Yamanako regularly, but I think you'll recover soon enough. The Hatakes always were a resilient clan."
He looked at the cards lying on the bed near the hitai-ate. "I see you took our talk to heart. It's good to see you know at least one game."
"What game, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked. "I'm just testing my depth perception. I can't really use both eyes at once, and my aim is off."
"I see," Sandaime said. "Some children do that for fun, usually with a hat."
"Really?" Kakashi asked. "It doesn't seem very fun. I'm just killing time until I can get out of here. I figured if I'm stuck here I might at least do something useful. I've been exercising every day, but I can't train any jutsus in here."
"I see you kept the yo-yo," Sandaime said. "That's a sort of game too."
Kakashi picked the toy up from where it had been laying beside him. He flicked it a few times. "It's pretty cool," he said.
"I see. Are you still trying to make it into a weapon?"
"No. BEAR and I talked about a few things. I'm trying to learn to be less serious. It's not easy, but I'm trying really hard."
"So are you saying you're serious about learning to be less serious?" the Hokage asked with a smile.
Kakashi scowled, his silver brows creased in concentration.
"It's ok," Sandaime said. "Just a little joke. I can't stay much longer. I'll come by and visit when I can."
"Thank you, Hokage-sama."
"Your friend Gai has been in the waiting room almost since you got here. He's upset that he can't see you. He wanted to make sure you knew that he was waiting for you."
"He was waiting this whole time?" Kakashi asked.
"He won't leave unless he's sent," the Hokage said. "You have a good friend there."
When the Hokage left Kakashi resumed throwing cards at his headband. "I don't see how this could be fun."
"Let me try," CAT said. He flipped a few cards, hitting the headband every time. "I got closer than you did."
Kakashi tried, missing the headband several times and hitting it once. "I can't believe I'm missing so much. My aim used to be almost perfect. I could hit a man-sized target with a kunai from across a field."
CAT flipped a few more cards, missing the hitai-ate once by just a couple inches. "See if you can do better than that," he said.
Kakashi tried again. "I'm getting better," he said. "If I aim slightly to the left I seem to get a little closer."
"My turn," CAT said. His aim was perfect.
They took turns until the cards ran out, and while Kakashi gathered the deck together he heard CAT chuckle. "I just tricked you, Kakashi. I think you might have played your first game."
"Noni? I know what games are. I've seen kids play them. They're stupid. The last time I saw kids playing a game they were building things out of sand, and one of them ended up crying. I'm not a little kid."
"You don't have to be stupid like that to enjoy some competition," CAT said.
"I understand competition," Kakashi said. "Gai and I compete all the time."
"I've seen you and Gai together," CAT said. "You two compete as ninjas learning skills together. You and I were competing for the fun of it. There is a difference."
"What's the point?" Kakashi asked.
CAT shrugged. "Not everything has to have a point. Sometimes that's ok."
"You sound like BEAR."
"I'll assume you meant that as a compliment," CAT said. "I like to think of myself as a logical man."
"BEAR makes sense," Kakashi said. "It's just not normal sense. He knows things."
"I suppose," CAT said. "If he helps you then I'm glad. I don't like all that mumbo-jumbo myself. I like things that I can see. I use my heart for people I love, but I try to use my brain the rest of the time."
"I used to think that," Kakashi said, "until my father came back from "that mission" and Obito died. Now I don't really know what I believe any more, but Obito always believed that the heart was just as important as the mind. He never really said that, but I think that's what I think he meant."
"It's really important to you what Obito thought about things, isn't it?" CAT asked.
"Obito understood things I didn't," Kakashi said.
CAT nodded. "I've had people around me like that too. I wish I could have known Obito. He sounds like he must have been an interesting person."
Kakashi remembered Obito's runny nose and silly mannerisms. "I didn't think so when he was alive. I was dumb."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sakumo spent the morning killing wild boars near a farm outside the village for a D rank mission. It was degrading work. They don't care if my skills dwindle to nothing, he thought. I bet there are people who would love to see that. He stabbed his second boar that morning. At least the farmer is grateful. He didn't seem to hate me at any rate.
He stabbed his kunai into the ground to clean it and wiped it on the grass. The warm blood steamed as it spilled from the boar's neck.
He hung the boar from a tree by the back feet and slit the neck further so that the blood would drain completely. I wish I could preserve them, but I don't have time or salt, he thought.
He killed three boars, the amount specified in the contract. The farmer probably couldn't afford any more. When Sakumo reported to the farmer the old man was suspicious. "You really killed three boars in four hours?" he asked.
"I'm a ninja," Sakumo said. "It was child's play."
The farmer grunted. "I want to see them."
Sakumo took him into the woods and showed him the pigs that he'd strung up to bleed.
"Why did you hang them up like that?" the farmer asked.
"I'm going to take them to a few families that can't afford meat," Sakumo said.
"They ain't good eating," the farmer said. "They're gamey and tough."
"You'd be surprised what poor women can do with spices and marinades. By the time they're done this mess could be served in a restaurant."
"If you say so," the farmer said. "You really did all this for someone else's family?"
"They're good people," Sakumo said. "They're just poor."
"You don't act like much like a ninja," the farmer said.
Fuck, Sakumo thought. Here it comes.
"How do you mean?" he asked.
"They use that road north a lot," the farmer said. "They don't even know we exist. They pass us all the time like we was nothing."
"I don't think they know you feel that way," Sakumo said. "I always thought of myself as protecting the people of Konoha."
The farmer laughed sharply. "And what are we to the people of Konoha? We grow their food, and they turn their noses up at us. Bunch of fancy people who think they're better than us, if you ask me."
"I didn't ask you," Sakumo thought. He didn't know what to say. He would have sounded defensive if he tried to explain how the village interacted with the rest of the fire nation.
"It doesn't matter," the farmer said. "I hope there are more like you."
"You…you mean that?" That's a mean joke, he thought.
"You said your last name was Hatake, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"It means field. Your people must have been farmers?"
"I don't know," Sakumo said. "We never were much for keeping up with family history."
"I know about you," the farmer said. "You have the look."
"What look?" Sakumo asked.
"You look like us," the old man said.
"What?"
The farmer looked down. "I can always tell an earthy man by his shoes," he said with a proud look. "I know things." He nodded. "I know lots of things."
I think he's a little off, Sakumo thought. "I suppose I've become rather earthy," he said.
"You talk like a rich man, but you have a poor man's heart. I can tell."
"Um…thank you? Do you have a few large bags I could buy to haul the boars home?"
"No, but I have a few burlaps you can have." He grinned, showing a few blackened teeth. "I like you; I'll keep your secret. No one has to know that you're like us."
Sakumo managed to fit the boars into the bags, and after he'd figured out the best way to distribute them he set off for home.
I wonder what that farmer was on about. He wondered. He looked down at his shoes as he ran. He had always kept his clothes clean whenever he could when he was still important. He had considered it a point of pride and professionalism. Ninjas were the first thing some people saw about Konoha, and there was no reason for him to look shabby unless he was on a dangerous mission.
He hadn't had money to buy new clothes for a long time, and his shoes were the worse for wear. The boots were faded, and the leather had cracked. Ume had sewed a cut across the side for him, but she hadn't done a very good job, and whatever she'd used to sew the cut together was obviously cheap. The toes were scuffed and the black outer layer had worn off completely, leaving the ends an ugly brown.
They're the shoes of a poor handyman, not a ninja, he thought. I think that old man might really know some things after all. I'm going back to the field in a way. I just wonder if it's as a tender of the field or a weed left to rot. Either way I've found my place in life.
He hefted the pigs to shift their weight as they began to slip. He'd put a bag in each hand, and the third he'd slung carefully over his back after making a makeshift sling.
He grunted with the effort. No civilian could have carried so much weight, but ninjas could easily deal with a few dead pigs – and more. His arms and back were beginning to feel strained by the time he got home. I never would have had this kind of trouble before, he thought. I really need to train more.
He couldn't really care about training anymore. It seemed like a pointless thing. He loved working for his new friends fixing their houses, tools, and other broken items. They occasionally paid him with a bit of money, but he almost never had to buy food for the sisters or himself any more. The vegetables, rice, and occasional bits of meat his customers could spare were more than enough to feed them.
It's not so bad, he thought, but then fear gripped him. What if I change so much that Kakashi is ashamed of me? He's so dignified, and his clothes are always clean and tidy when he can manage it. I've never seen him dirty unless he was training or just home from a mission, and I probably always smell like sweat now – sweat and poverty. I know my breath must reek with the spices the women in the neighborhood use to cover up the cheap food. What will Kakashi think of me someday?
Ume was awake when he got home late that afternoon, but Rie had already gone to bed with a cold. Ume did what she could to help him butcher the hogs, but she wasn't much help with her arthritic fingers. Sakumo let her help long enough to let her feel that she'd been useful, but then he suggested that she get some rest.
He finished butchering the boars as quickly as he could to make sure the meat didn't spoil, and put as much as he could in the fridge. I never thought I'd be happy that the fridge was mostly empty, he thought. He wasn't worried about the lack of food. The neighborhood would never let "their" ninja go hungry, and he wouldn't ever let the sisters go hungry again.
What he couldn't fit into the fridge he put in the smoker out back. It was worn and broken in places – mended together with bits of metal, but it still worked.
He couldn't quite save all the meat, but by the time he was done he thought that he could feed most of the neighborhood. They were large boars. I'm doing some good at least, he thought. If I can't serve all of Konoha, at least I can serve part of it.
XXXXXXXXXXx
Meanwhile Kakashi was wishing that his father would visit. There wasn't any particular reason; he just missed him. He missed all of his friends, but he missed his father the most. He'd turned to Akihiro when he was in pain, and he loved and needed his mother, but it was Sakumo that his heart turned to now.
"Do you and your Dad get along?" he asked BEAR.
"We usually do," BEAR said. "Things have been strained since I joined ANBU, but we still love each other. He doesn't know about ANBU, but I can't visit much with all the extra work. We argue about it sometimes, but we don't let it come between us. Our paths just diverge for now. When I leave ANBU someday I'll make sure to make it up to him and the rest of my family."
"Don't you miss them?" Kakashi asked. "I miss my Dad a lot."
"I think about them when I meditate. I try to clear my mind, but sometimes I have a few minutes where I have trouble emptying it of problems and worries. I think of my family a lot then. I find that smelling lavender oil helps me meditate when I can't concentrate."
"Does it make you sad?" Kakashi asked. "Thinking about my Dad makes me sad sometimes now."
"It used to," BEAR said. "I still feel guilty about it, but I've made as much peace as I can with it. They're sacrificing for Konoha too. They just don't know it."
"So you think of them as heroes?" Kakashi asked.
"I never attached that word, but they are," BEAR said.
"I want to ask you something, but I'm afraid it will make you mad," Kakashi said.
"I'm not an easy person to anger," BEAR said, "and even though I'm here as ANBU I think I'm doing more as a spirit healer. You can ask me anything you need to."
"I know what my Dad did was wrong," Kakashi said. "He meant well, but he caused a lot of deaths and hurt the village a lot."
"How we feel isn't wrong," BEAR said. "It's our actions that define a man."
"That's not the problem. I feel like he's a hero too. He only thought about his teammate. He's always thought more about other people than himself. I want to be like that, but I don't want to ever cost the village with my actions. I don't know how to feel about it. Sometimes I'm mad at him for what he did, and sometimes I'm proud. Is that weird?"
"I don't think so," BEAR said. "Everyone has different parts of their soul. You are a son and a ninja. The ninja in you thinks one thing and the son another. Let your actions be merciful, and your feelings might sort themselves out in time."
"I feel like I'm disloyal to the village sometimes when I don't hold it against him," Kakashi said.
"Feelings don't make a man disloyal. Actions do. Do you feel that your actions are disloyal?"
"I've never done anything disloyal to the village!" Kakashi said.
"I didn't think so," BEAR said.
Kakashi fell silent as he turned BEAR's words over in his head.
"I guess it's ok just to love him," Kakashi said.
"We don't choose who we love," BEAR said. "I imagine your father needs that right now, more than you probably know."
"I wish he'd come by," Kakashi said. "He has this idea that he doesn't need to be around me much. He thinks it will involve me in his dishonor."
"He probably has some mixed up thoughts too," BEAR said. "Give him time to sort them out. A son is always in his father's heart."
"I hope it doesn't take too long," Kakashi said. "It's hard to wait sometimes."
"If you could tell him anything without worrying about the consequences, what would it be?"
Kakashi thought about it. "I guess I'd tell him that I'm scared that we won't know each other anymore – that he might not want me around. I'm afraid he'll be ashamed of me."
"Do you believe it's true?" BEAR asked.
"I don't know. I really don't know."
Kakashi dreamed of his father that night – of the happier times when they trained and laughed together, and then about the time when the villagers threw rocks at Sakumo after he returned from his mission.
He managed not to cry when he woke. CAT had come in while he was asleep, and he didn't want to look any weaker than he already did.
