A/N Happy New Year Everybody!

I took a few creative licenses with the performances I mention. I know that's not how they really were in New York but I thought they fit my story better this way. :P

Requested by Guest: Can you do something involving a swimming pool? Could they set a swimming pool on fire while Bruce was in it?

Sabotage, Siri, and a Happy New Year

"Happy New... Year," Tony trailed off as he entered the living room and was instantly skewered by several glares. "What's wrong with them?" he asked Clint.

"Apparently we partied in the new year a bit too hard last night," Clint said.

"Define 'a bit too hard.'"

"You set the pool on fire!" a raggedy and worse-for-wear looking Bruce yelled.

"What's so terrible about that?" Tony asked.

"You set it on fire while I was in it!" Bruce screamed. "How do you even set water on fire?"

"Actually it's not that difficult. All you have to do-" Tony cut off as Bruce lunged toward him, hands outstretched and his eyes glinting green.

Bruce managed to wrap both hands around Tony's neck before Steve and Thor grabbed him and hauled him off of the billionaire.

"Bruce, as much as you want to kill Tony, and as much as we may want you to, unless you want the other guy destroying the living room, again, you need to calm down," Clint said.

Bruce reluctantly closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Look, I do apologize for setting the pool on fire with you in it, but at least we know you wouldn't have been hurt. Big Green would have seen to that," Tony said. "At least that's all we did."

"Oh, no. That's not all," Steve said, handing Tony the newspaper.

On the front, was the headline: It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time. Beneath the heading was a picture of him and Clint in their Avengers suits, Clint holding onto Tony as he flew over the masses gathered in Times Square. Tony looked at the picture, admiring how awesome he looked in his suit before starting to read the article beneath it.

Tony had apparently started out the evening by sabotaging Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball performance by cutting the cable holding her wrecking ball, causing it and her to go crashing to the stage floor. Interestingly enough, Tony actually received much applause and cheers for his actions and even more adoration when it was discovered that she would be unable to twerk for quite some time.

While Tony was taking care of Miley, Clint was busy getting up on stage and dancing with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, actually managing to upstage them with his acrobatics.

Then Tony flew Clint by the New Year's ball and the archer sent an exploding arrow flying, blowing up the base of the pole the new year's ball was attached to and causing it to tip over and tumble off the building it was on, truly 'dropping' it. Before it hit the ground, though, Tony shot it with a repulsor, showering the air with sparkly bits of destroyed glass. Then the two of them zoomed over the cheering and celebrating crowds as confetti rained all around them.

"Okay, none of this is all that bad, and you have to admit, the Miley Cyrus thing was actually a good idea. She needed to be stopped," Tony said, handing back the paper.

"Okay, we can't really argue with that part," Pepper admitted. "But that doesn't let you completely off the hook."

"I don't care how you do it, just make it stop," Phil interrupted, walking into the room and holding out a tablet to Tony.

"Make what stop?" Tony asked.

"Last night you set Auld Lang Syne to play on loop on the helicarrier, starting at midnight. On every speaker, headset, and video call on the helicarrier, that song is playing over and over. If you connect to the helicarrier in any way you get that song, and we can't figure out how to shut it off."

"Did you try telling it to stop?" Tony asked.

"Our computers don't have voice interface," Phil said.

"That's what you think," Tony said, grabbing the tablet from Phil, connecting to the helicarrier's computers, then holding down the home button.

"How may I help you?" a female mechanical voice asked from the tablet's speakers.

"Siri, stop music," Tony said.

"I have stopped the music," she responded.

"Thank you," Tony said.

"I live to serve," she said.

"You installed Siri on the helicarrier?" Phil asked.

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" Tony asked.

"How'd you get permission from Apple to use it?" Clint asked.

"You seriously think Apple came up with Siri?" Tony said with a snort.

"You came up with Siri?" Bruce asked in disbelief.

"Who else do you know that can build and program an A.I.?"

"Siri isn't an A.I.," Clint said.

"That's what you think," Siri's voice said through the tablet.

Everyone looked at the tablet in alarm.

"That is beyond creepy," Clint said.

"Just doing my job," she replied.

"That's my girl," Tony said proudly.

"Happy New Year," Siri responded.

Then Auld Lang Syne started playing through the speakers.


Happy New Year Guys! :)