~So sorry for the long delay. This season is tough to write. Everything is so intense, but thank you for bearing with me. Please review!~

Chapter 46

"Pick up, Sam." Sarah grumbled into her phone as she heard Sam's voicemail pick up for the 3rd time. Ending the call, Sarah pressed down on the gas trying to get back to the bunker as quickly as she could. Beating herself up for how she froze after seeing Dean in the alley.

A little while later Sarah's phone finally started to ring.

"Sam. Finally." Sarah said after answering.

"What the hell, Sarah? What happened to you?" Sam growled into the phone.

"Crowley."

"What do you mean Crowley?"

"He decided that it was a good time to have chat." Sarah replied. "But anyways. How's it going with Dean?"

Sam sighed heavily, "I've got him tied up in the dungeon at the bunker."

"Good. Have you started the ritual yet?"

"Not yet…"

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked, sensing something was up. "Sam?"

"I don't know what will happen if I do it. If I use my blood." Sam confessed.

"You think it might complete the trials if you use your blood." Sarah said, catching on. "I didn't think about that."

"Yeah. How far out are you?"

"5 hours. 4 if I'm lucky." Sarah replied. Sam let out a long heavy sigh.

"Hurry. I'll keep an eye on him till you can get here."

Sarah was about to respond with a tired 'okay' but then thought about what he was wanting her to do and instantly started to panic, knowing that it wasn't a good idea for her to lose that much blood in her condition. "We can't wait that long, Sam." She finally stated.

"Then what do you suggest I do?"

"I don't know…" Sarah groaned, her head beginning to hurt. "Can't you just steal some blood from a blood bank or something?"

"Oh yeah, that's a great idea." Sam retorted. "And how the hell am I supposed to purify it?"

"I don't know Sam, but I think we need to get creative on this one." Sarah snapped back. "I'll let you know if I think of something." She then hung up and pressed even harder on the gas pedal.


3 ½ hours later…

"Sarah, please tell me your close." Sam pleaded, once she answered her phone.

"I'm still an hour away. Why? What's going on?" Sarah asked.

"It's Dean."

"Did he get loose?" Sarah asked quickly.

"No. No. He didn't get loose. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"He's in pain. I think I might be killing him." Sam confessed.

"Oh, Sam. "

"What am I supposed to do, Sarah?" Sam asked, his voice breaking slightly.

"I don't know, Sam, I don't know. Just hang on until I can get there. We'll figure something out." Sarah promised before hanging up.


A while after, Sam walked back into the dungeon to give Dean his next injection of blood when he saw Dean hunched over in his chair, completely still.

"Hey! Hey! DEAN! Come on! Come back." Sam yelled, striding over to Dean and slapping him.

"No." Dean whispered.

"Come back to me. You there? Hey! Dean, you okay?"

"Yeah, if you … consider drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils 'okay.'" Dean mocked, giving a weak cough.

"Look, I can't stop doing this."

"Sure you can. You just stop! There's no point in trying to bring your brother back now."

"Oh, I will bring him back." Sam retorted.

"In fact, your uh… guilt-ridden, weight-of-the-world bro has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. But I'm loving the new model: Lean, mean, Dean."

"Right."

"You notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining, your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just … tired of babysitting you. Or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since …" Dean laughed, "Forever. Or maybe … Maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn't for you. That your very existence sucked the life out of my life!"

"This isn't my brother talking." Sam

"You never had a brother! Just an excuse for not manning up. But guess what: I quit."

"No. No, you don't. You don't get to quit. We don't get to quit in this family! This family is all we have ever had!" Sam growled.

"Well, then, we got nothin'."

"Would you say that to Dad?" Sam countered.

"Dad? Oh, there's a prize. There's a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle!" Dean retorted. "Who not only saddled me with your useless ass but a whiney, runaway that some ass monkey up in heaven destined to be the mother of my children. Or she was until you let Metatron kill her. Which really isn't surprising considering that you're the sole reason that my unborn child was killed. If it weren't for you I'd finally have that family that I always wanted. Sarah and I would never have gone through all the crap we did if you'd just looked out for her. Protected her. I bet we'd have a couple of ankle biters by now." Sam turned away and began preparing the next syringe. "Oh. Ooh. Is this you manning up?"

"This is me yanking your lame ass out of the fire." Sam growled before stabbing the needle into Dean's arm and emptying the purified blood into Dean's veins. "You're welcome." He grumbled as he strode from the room, tossing the empty syringe as he went by.


"Sam?" Sarah called out as she walked into Dean's bedroom to see Sam looking at some old pictures. When he didn't look up at her, Sarah took a seat next to him on the bed. "Wow. Aren't you two adorable." She stated, looking at the old picture Sam was holding of him and Dean laughing. Sam continued to stare down at the picture. "Hey, Sambo, we'll get him back. He'll be brooding and wanting pie before we know it." She lied, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not so sure." He replied, his shoulder falling a little with a heavy sigh.

"Why?"

"He's just… there's just…"

"Just what?" Sarah asked, rubbing circles on his back. Getting worried about how broken he was looking.

"I know he's not really Dean right now. I know that. But the things he's saying… I can't help but think that somewhere deep down, he really believes it." Sam confessed.

"What did he say?" Sarah asked.

"Don't worry about it, Sarah. It's almost time for his next injection." Sam said dismissively, moving to get up, but Sarah stopped him.

"Sam, tell me please." She urged, taking ahold of Sam's good hand.

Sam sighed heavily before admitting, "He blames me for… everything. Mom… Dad… Everything bad that's happened in our lives…" he turned to look at her as he finished. His gaze going from her face to her stomach before returning his gaze to the floor.

With that one look, Sarah knew what Dean had said. It sent a chill down her spine and she instinctually moved to rest her free hand against her stomach.

"He really brought that up?" She asked in a voice barely louder than a whisper. Sam answered with a heavy sigh before pulling away from her but Sarah noticed and gripped his hand tighter. "Sam, wait."

"It's okay, Sarah. I'll be okay." Sam lied, pulling his hand from her grip and walking out of the room.

Sarah sat there a moment before she took a few deep breaths. Pushing everything that was worrying her mind to the side so she could focus on fixing Dean. After a moment, Sarah made her way to the dungeon.

"Oh look, the big bad Sammy has returned." Dean stated, sarcastically as Sam walked back into the dungeon. He walked right over to the table to prep another syringe. "Not gonna talk to me? Did I hurt your feelings? Did I …" Dean trailed off at seeing Sarah in the doorway.

"Hiya, Dean. Miss me?" Sarah asked, nonchalantly from the doorway.

He stared back at her for a minute with a shock and confused look on his face. Then his expression hardened. "Oohh, could wittle Sammy not handle this by himself? Did he have to call in big sis to help?" Dean asked looking over at Sam then moving his gaze back to Sarah.

"I couldn't let Sam have all the fun, now could I?" She asked, walking into the room.

"If it's fun you want, untie me and we can have all the fun you want." He quipped, with a grin.

"No offense but the only fun I want to have with you right now involves a needle and some purified blood."

"Well, you kinky little minx. If it's role playing you want, I can come up with better ideas…"

"Like I'd ever sleep with a demon."

"Oh sweet heart, you honestly think there's a difference anymore." Dean retorted with a smirk.

Sarah walked closer to Dean and bent down so her face was level with his, then placed her hands on either side of his face. He looked uncomfortably back at her as her gaze bore into his eyes.

"Yeah, there is a difference." Sarah stated, "You might be Dean but you are not my Dean."

"How can you be so sure?"

"If there is one thing I know more than anything else, it's you. And I need you to be yourself now, more than ever before." Sarah replied, before standing up. "Ok, Sam, he's all yours."

"No, wait!" Dean yelled out before Sam thrust the needle into Dean's arm. Dean immediately began to growl and groan in pain. Sarah's eyes widened at the pain Dean was experiencing and she instinctually grabbed Sam's hand.


"You are doing the right thing, Sam." Sarah said, as she stroked his arm with her hand, trying to comfort him. After Dean's fit of pain had ceased, Sarah had pulled Sam out of the room and to the library. "It's almost over."

Sam pulled away from Sarah's touch, "I just need a few minutes alone."

Sarah stared at him for a moment before saying, "Okay, Sambo." She then left the room, not really thinking about where she was going, until she was standing outside of Dean's room again. Slowly she walked in and picked up the photos Sam had been looking at.

The picture on top was of Dean and Sam laughing. Sarah smiled at how young the boys were and how happy they both seemed at that moment. She flipped to the next picture and saw a four year old Dean being hugged by his mom. Her eyes glanced at the bracelet on Mary's wrist making her eyes begin to tear up, remembering that the only thing Dean had of his mom's was currently resting on her own wrist. Wiping a tear away, Sarah flipped to the next picture but was floored by what she saw. The picture was of Dean and her asleep in front seat of the impala, curled up together.

"When was this taken?" Sarah whispered, tracing Dean's sleeping face with her finger. "Oh Dean, I so wish I could talk to you."

"Talk away, I'm right here." Dean said from the doorway, startling her.

"Dean." Sarah said, standing up, letting the pictures fall to the floor.

"Well, don't be shy. What do you want to talk about?" he asked in a taunting manner, while stalking toward her holding a large hammer.

"No. Stay back." She warned, pulling her angel blade from her jacket.

"Oh, what's wrong princess? Surprised to see me? Because I'm as hell surprised to see you."

"Crowley didn't mention that I was still alive? Well, I guess he couldn't find the right time, what with all the drinking and random girls you were doing." Sarah snipped back, trying to maneuver to the side of the room, away from him.

"Hey, I was trying to heal my broken heart." He replied mockingly, before stepping in her path. "You see I saw you die with my own eyes."

"Why would that matter to you? You're a demon. Demons don't care about anything."

"I don't really. Actually, seeing you lying there dead, I felt nothing but relief. At last, I was free of your whining and complaining." He said emphatically.

"Dean…" Sarah started to say, as tears started to fill her eyes.

"Well, I was free, but then you had to come back. You see what a problem I have now."

"Just let me go. I promise I'll never bother you again." Sarah stalled.

"Now why don't I believe that." Dean retorted, narrowing his eyes at her. Sarah quickly took the opportunity to strike at him with her blade but his reflexes were much faster than hers. He easily evaded the attack and disarmed her, letting his hammer drop to the floor as he pressed Sarah's blade against her throat. Grabbing her by the hair, Dean pushed her up against the wall. "What do you say, Sarah? One last time. Between old friends." He asked in a husky tone, his breath hot against her skin.

Sarah moved forward as if to kiss him, tears falling down her face. "I'd rather die." She swore.

Dean gripped her hair harder and smirked, but was distracted when the lights suddenly went out and the red emergency lights sprang on. Using that he was momentarily distracted, Sarah kneed him in the jewels, then hit him with an uppercut to his jaw. Knocking him back into the bed. Without a moment's hesitation, she fled from the room, running as fast as she could to get away.

Just as she was running past one of the rooms, she was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled into the room. A hand clamped down on her mouth as she started to cry out.

"Sarah, it's me. It's me." Sam whispered to her, getting her to calm down. As soon as she calmed, Sam released his hold on her and signaled for her to stay quiet.

"Smart, Sam! Locking the place down. Doors won't open. I get it. But here's the thing: I don't want to leave! Not 'til I find you!" Dean growled as he walked down the hallway. Stalking his prey. "Sammy! You're just making this worse for yourself, man! Oh, by the way, you can, uh… blame yourself for me getting loose. All that blood you pumped into me to make me human… Well. The less demon I was, the less the cuffs worked. And that Devil's Trap? Well, I just walked right across it. It smarted, but still." He made his way into the control room and flipped the switch, turning the power back on. "Yeah, that's more like it."

Sam and Sarah quickly rushed to the door of the control room, shut it and locked Dean inside. Sam threw the keys to the ground and stood ready with his knife raised in his good hand.

"That's your big move?" Dean asked, from behind the door.

"Listen to me, Dean! We were getting close, okay? I know you're still in there somewhere. Just let me finish the treatments." Sam yelled back.

"Dean?" Sarah called out, when he didn't respond.

Suddenly they heard a loud noise and saw the door began to splinter and break causing Sam to jump back some and push Sarah behind him. After another loud thud, a chunk of the door fell and they saw Dean holding his hammer with a murderous look in his eyes.

"You act like I want to be cured!" Dean called out before continuing to hit the door. "Personally, I like the disease."

"Dean, stop that! Look, I don't want to use this blade on you!" Sam yelled.

"That sucks for you, doesn't it? 'Cause you really mean that!"

"Look, if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice!" Sam retorted.

"Sure you will! And I know which one you'll make. Isn't that right, Sammy? But see … Here's the thing: I'm lucky. Oh, hell, I'm blessed! 'Cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you two? Ain't no choice at all." Dean replied coolly before continuing to break down the door.

"Sarah, run!" Sam growled, pushing her down the hall. Sarah ran as fast as she could. Sam ran after her but ducked down a different hallway.

Dean walked through the broken door and took a moment to fix his hair before stalking after them. "Sammy?" He continued down the hall, still gripping the hammer. "Come on, Sammy! Let's have a beer, talk about it. I'm tired of playing. Let's finish this game!"

Sam waited, back up against the wall. He chanced a look around the corner but found it empty. Turning back around he ducked just in time, as Dean swung the hammer at his head, lodging it into the wall. Sam reacted on instinct and pushed his knife against Dean's throat.


Sarah ran into the library and began frantically looking around, trying to figure out what to do.

"Sarah, what's happened?" Cas asked as he walked into the room.

"Cas! Oh thank god!" Sarah cried out, running to him, she grabbed his arm and started to pull him down the hallway. "Sam's in danger."


"Well … Look at you. Do it. It's all you." Dean chided, as Sam's blade faltered slightly. Dean smiled and let his eyes go black. He moved toward Sam but grunted when a pair of strong arms gripped him.

"It's over." Cas growled. His eyes began to glow blue as he used his angel powers to hold Dean. "Dean, it's over." Dean yelled and grunted but Cas continued to hold on.


After getting an unconscious Dean strapped back into the chair in the dungeon, Sam injected him with the last dose of purified blood.

"What the hell are we doing to him, Cas? I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." Sam stated, worried. Sarah grabbed ahold of the hand of Sam's injured arm and held tightly.

"Well… I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but … also such profound pain. This is easier." Cas replied.

Dean began to wake up, his eyes completely black. Sarah gripped Sam's hand tightly as Dean's black eyes dissipated. He looked up at the others, before groaning and letting out a breath. He looked around uncertain, while the others watched him carefully.

"You look worried, fellas." Dean said just before Sam splashed holy water on his face. When nothing happened, Dean looked up to see Sam smiling.

"Welcome back, Dean." Sam greeted.

Sarah sprang forward and cupped Dean's face with her hands. Her eyes searching his. After a moment, she let out the breath she'd been holding since Sam had administered the last injection. "Finally." She sighed before wrapping him into a hug.

Sam walked over and undid Dean's restraints. When his restraints were gone, Dean tentatively wrapped his arms around Sarah for a moment.

"Alright, Sarah. Give him some air." Sam said, pulling Sarah back some.

Sarah pulled back to look Dean in the eyes again, tears streaming down her face. "Don't you ever scare me like this again."

Looking back at her with wide eyes, he whispered gruffly, "Yes ma'am."

"Good." Sarah let out a sigh and leaned her forehead against his for a moment before she kissed his cheek. Standing back up she said, "Come on, Cas. Let's leave these two alone for a minute."

Cas nodded toward Dean then followed Sarah out of the room and into the library where she collapsed into a chair.

"Are you alright, Sarah?" Cas asked, studying her closely.

"I'll be fine, Cas. Just really tired." Sarah replied tiredly, leaning her head back with her eyes closed.

"There's something different about you." Cas stated, still studying her closely.

Sarah's eyes snapped opened and met his, but before she could respond Sam walked into the room.

"Hey." Sam greeted.

"How's he doing?" Sarah asked.

"He's uh … He's still a little out of it, but better, I think. I mean, I think this whole thing—the blood cure, and the … all of it—really wrecked him, you know?"

"Yeah." Cas replied. Sarah walked over and gave Sam a hug.

"On the plus side, he's hungry again, so I'm just going to go pick him up a big ol' bag of crap food and stuff it in his face myself." Sam said, before looking down at Sarah. "You want anything, Sarah?"

"Um… no. I think a long hot shower and a very long nap are in my future. It feels like it's been forever." Sarah replied, then left Sam and Cas, heading toward the bathroom.

Sam watched her leave the room before asking, "You mind keeping an eye… on both of them?"


After a long, hot shower, Sarah tried to lie down for a while. But after two hours of trying to sleep, she found herself wandering the halls. She walked passed Sam's room and glanced in through his slightly open door to see him sitting on the floor, staring off into space and clutching a bottle of whiskey. She kept walking until she was standing in front of Deans room. Just staring at the door.

After a moment of hesitation, Sarah lightly tapped on the door before slowly pushing it open.

"Hey." She said, seeing Dean sitting on the bed.

"Hey." He replied, quickly putting away what he was looking at and sat up.

"I know you probably want to be alone right now but… there's something I want to tell you." Sarah said, nervously, as she walked in.

"Go ahead. Let me have it. I know I deserve whatever you want to yell at me." Dean said.

Sarah stopped in her tracks and took him in. He looked so lost and depressed. She wanted to tell him about the baby but was so unsure if this was the right time or not.

"Dean… I wanted to tell you that I'm… I uh…" she started to say but the words stuck in her throat. He looked to the ground, looking like he was waiting for a beating. Tears started to fill her eyes. She wiped her face and took a seat next to him. "To tell you that I love you." He looked up at her, clearly surprised. She cupped his cheek with her hand, he instantly leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, relaxing a little. "No matter what happens, I will always love you." Then she leaned in and kissed him.