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Benson-Stabler residence, Manhattan, New York

Tuesday, April 4th 2009

2.11 am

Olivia sat in the kitchen playing with an empty wine glass. The house was quiet, everyone was sleeping but her. She'd come down as soon as she knew Elliot had fallen asleep and she'd grabbed the wine bottle and glass and placed them on the table in front of her. She hadn't touched a drop of it. The reason for that being she knew Cragen would lose it because even though he didn't stop anyone from drinking he despised any of them touching a drop because it had been a 'tough day' especially drinking alone at night.

"Can't sleep?" Cragen's voice carried from the open doorway.

"No." She replied turning momentarily to face him before turning back to the empty glass she was playing with.

"Liv..." He sighed seeing the bottle.

"I haven't touched it." She whispered as he came to sit beside her, pulling his robe tighter around him.

"Oh." He replied. "That's good."

"Doesn't stop me wanting to." She added.

"Now you're not alone you can have one, there's someone to stop you having more than one and drowning your sorrows." He smiled gently opening the wine bottle and taking the glass from her hands.

"I've just been sat here debating having one for the past hour." She laughed gently as he passed her a half full wine glass before closing the bottle and taking it to the cupboard.

"It shows how strong you are that you managed to sit for an hour without having one Liv, you've seen what that stuff can do first hand." He replied coming back to the seat beside her.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I don't think about her anymore though."

"What do you mean?" He asked gently knowing this was going to be a sensitive conversation for both of them.

"My Mom, my real Mom, I don't think about her anymore, I did take Nicole to her grave when she was born, just because I thought it was the right thing to do but now when I think of my Mom I think of Anne, when I think of my Dad I think of you, I barely ever think of my biological parents anymore." She explained.

"Why do you think that is Olivia?" He probed.

"I don't know, I really don't. But I do know that now I have you both I'm terrified of losing you." She explained a tear slipping down her cheek and she made no attempt to stop it.

"You're not going to lose us Liv." He told her his thumb wiping the tear from her face gently.

"I almost did lose you today, or yesterday I mean it's gone midnight." She chuckled lightly. "I know that the shot was clean and Abigail is alive but ..." She bowed her head, she actually felt ashamed of what had really been going through her mind.

"What is it Liv?" He asked knowing that if she bottled this up it would eat away at her.

"I wasn't scared that she'd kill herself." Olivia whimpered.

"I don't understand." He replied gently as he took her free hand in his own and she took a deep gulp of the wine.

"I was ... I could see her killing you and that's ... that's what was going through my mind when I shot." Olivia explained the tears spilling down her face.

"Livia..." He whispered pulling the wine glass from her hand before pulling her into his arms so she could sob silently into his shoulder.

"That doesn't make you any less of a person or human being, you didn't shoot to kill by shooting her in the leg, you saved her life Olivia." He whispered.

"If she'd have been holding that knife to you still I don't think I would have been able to just shoot her in the leg though..." She cried.

"Yes you would have, I know you Olivia, you'd never hurt anyone unless you had to." Cragen told her firmly as he held her tight, he knew she was going to struggle with dealing with the shooting and he knew all he could do was be there for her.

"I shot a sixteen year old." She cried. "I shot a sixteen year old because I was scared of her killing my Dad."

"I know, but that's ok, sometimes it's ok to be selfish because in the process of being selfish you saved her life." Cragen tried to reason, he was desperate to make her understand that she did nothing wrong.

"I know, I know that but I can't help but feel guilty because she wasn't the person I was trying to save." She explained pulling out of his arms and wiping her tears on the sleeve of her robe. "But she's someone's little girl..."

"And so were the four girls she killed too. She's not just a kid she's a murderer." Cragen replied firmly.

"I..." Olivia's mouth snapped shut, she'd completely forgotten about that.

"Now you don't feel as bad do you. Don't forget that you shot a killer to stop her from killing herself." Cragen said firmly.

"So, that makes what I did ok?" She asked knowing it wasn't.

"No. What you did was ok but not because you shot a killer, but because you stopped a sixteen year old girl from committing suicide because voices in her head told her too." Cragen replied firmly.

"Ok." Olivia nodded. "Still doesn't stop how guilty I feel."

"Why don't you and I take an early morning field trip?" Cragen asked.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"Go throw on some clothes and meet me down here in ten minutes." He told her grabbing the still half full wine glass and going to the sink. "Go." He said firmly and Olivia nodded and headed off upstairs.

Ten minutes later she was in the hallway pulling on her shoes when Cragen joined her, he was in a shirt and trousers he'd pulled on while she'd pulled on a pair of slacks and one of Elliot's hoodies.

"We should be back before anyone is up but I've written a note just in case." He told her quietly.

"Ok, so where are we going at nearly three in the morning?" She asked as he past her coat over.

"Just wait and see." He smirked, she wasn't in the mood for games but knew not to ask again.

Mercy General, Manhattan, New York

Monday, April 3rd 2009

3.27 am

"Ok what are we doing here?" Olivia asked as they pulled up outside the hospital, it was now half three and she was feeling the effects of the long day they'd had.

"Something I thought you should see." He replied climbing out of the car. "You coming?" He asked seeing that she hadn't moved.

She gave a weak nod and slowly climbed out the car, her mind wondering what on earth they could be doing at Mercy General at this time of the morning. Silently she slipped her arm into his as they walked through the bitter cold night air into the hospital.

Cragen walked to the desk and flashed his Captain's shield, Olivia decided to do the same with her Detective one and slipped her arm from Cragen's knowing that if he was showing his shield he was doing something work related.

"I'm looking for Abigail Salford." He told her and realisation dawned on Olivia.

"Third floor room six oh eight." The nurse smiled and Olivia hesitated only momentarily before following Cragen towards the elevators.

They kept silent the whole way up and when they arrived room 608 Olivia just peered in at the girl who seemed wide awake and alert.

"Why don't you go in?" Cragen suggested.

"I can't." Olivia replied sighing heavily, it wasn't that she didn't want to but she didn't know what to say to the girl.

"Olivia she's medicated now, I'm sure if you go in and say hello she may even talk to you, this is all off the record, nothing she says to you can be used in court, just talk to her." He pressed and she nodded before grabbing the door handle.

"You'll be right here?" She asked shakily, hating being so dependant.

"Right here." He nodded.

She gave him one last nervous glance before going into the room and shutting the door behind her. When she turned around Abigail's eyes were fixed on her. She gave a polite nod and walked towards the bed seeing instantly that the teenager was cuffed and couldn't move even if she wanted too.

"Hey." Abigail smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, I was told not to say anything to the police without a lawyer."

"Don't worry, I'm not here as a police officer, nothing you say can be used against you or in court." Olivia explained. "So how are you?"

"Better, they put me on some drugs now and the voices have gone." She smiled and Olivia could see genuine happiness emulating from her eyes.

"How's the pain?" She asked nodding towards the leg.

"Not too bad, I guess I should say thank you, you know, for saving my life." She explained reaching her free hand out towards Olivia.

Olivia smiled gently and took her hand knowing that this girl might have been a killer but she was still a sixteen year old girl who was now probably more scared than she'd have ever been.

"I shouldn't have shot you." Olivia whispered as she stroked Abigail's hand gently.

"And if you hadn't I'd be dead." Abigail whispered. "Now I'm getting the help I should have gotten a long time ago, then, maybe, everything that happened... might not have happened." She whispered getting teary eyed.

"Well hopefully now you'll get better." Olivia replied, she did find it tough to sympathise with a murderer, her guilt was now fading at the realisation that this sixteen year old was going to be alright thanks to her but the four girls she killed flooded Olivia's mind and she placed Abi's hand down gently.

"I'm sorry." Olivia whispered before rushing out the door into Cragen's waiting arms.

"Ok?" He asked rubbing her back.

"Yeah, I just realised that she killed four people, regardless of what I did." Olivia explained. "She's fine, she's happy sort of but those four girls aren't."

"Ok, come on let's go home and get some sleep." Cragen whispered gently pushing her back to lead her away, Olivia didn't resist.

Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York

Monday, April 4th 2009

11.21 am

Olivia sat typing up her case file from the previous day, that afternoon Abigail Salford would be at the one six to answer questions and apparently she'd be signing a deal with the DA's office pleading down to four counts manslaughter in the first on the condition she'd serve her sentence out in a psychiatric unit. At one pm Olivia had to sit down with Ed Tucker and answer questions about the shooting and somehow prove it had been clean even though she wasn't so sure herself.

"Liv!" Cragen called from his office door.

Olivia knew he wanted her to talk to him before going to one police plaza and so she slowly locked her computer and dragged her feet.

"Take a seat Liv." He told her nodding his head towards the empty chairs in front of his desk.

Olivia sat down as he clasped his hands together on the top of the desk.

"What is it Cap?" She asked knowing that right now she was talking to her superior officer and not her father.

"Ed Tucker wants to question myself and Elliot too." He explained.

"Why? I'm the one who shot." Olivia sighed knowing exactly why, Ed Tucker didn't think the shot was clean.

"Because he thinks our family connection has clouded my judgement and that if he questions us separately he can determine whether or not it was a good shot." Cragen replied gently.

"And?" Olivia asked desperately.

"There's nothing to worry about Olivia, just tell him the truth." Cragen replied and she nodded before heading out, she didn't want to be sat around doing nothing anymore.

One Police Plaza, Manhattan, New York

Tuesday, April 4th 2009

1.02 pm

Olivia sat upright in the uncomfortable chair in the interview room. Her heart was hammering hard inside her constricted chest, her breath was shallow and her palms sweat as she clasped them together trying to hide her emotions. A microphone in front of her would capture every word out of her mouth and she knew it would be played over and over again until a decision was made by the lean man pacing carefully in front of her, trying to intimidate her.

"Detective Benson I believe you understand why you're here?" He asked coming to a stop at the opposite end of the table to where she was sitting and glaring at her.

"I do." She nodded.

He leaned over and knocked the record button and Olivia swallowed hard knowing now she had to begin answering questions honestly and openly if she was going to prove that she did nothing wrong when she shot Abigail Salford.

"Interview begins at one oh six pm on Tuesday April the fourth by Lieutenant Edward Tucker of the Internal Affairs Bureau with Detective Olivia Benson Senior Detective with Manhattan's Special Victims Unit." He explained out loud for it to be on record. "Now Detective Benson, can you please describe in detail what happened when Detective Odafin Tutuola answered the phone at the Salford Residence up until after you fired your weapon."

"I had stepped outside of the bedroom we were searching with permission of the homeowner to call Captain Cragen. When I came back into the room Detective Tutuola, Detective Munch and Detective Stabler were gathered around listening to the loudspeaker on the phone, Detective Tutuola said it was Captain Cragen, there were two voices, the Captain's and an unidentifiable female." Olivia explained as calmly as she could, her voice masking her fear and anxieties well. "Myself and Detective Stabler hurried off knowing Captain Cragen was at the one six precinct, I told Detectives Munch and Tutuola to call for back up and follow us. When we arrived at the one six Detective Stabler and I withdrew our weapons and approached the Captain's office where we could see and hear movement, we saw Abigail Salford holding a knife towards Captain Cragen, we could see she was far enough away for us to safely enter the room and that's what we did. We aimed our weapons at the girl and I asked her to drop her weapon, she didn't but proceeded to place the knife at her neck, I tried to talk her down, she told me she could hear voices telling her to kill and that they were now shouting in her head when she dug the knife deeper into her neck and slowly began sliding I lowered my weapon and shot her in the upper thigh making her drop her weapon." Olivia explained coldly.

Ed Tucker who had been pacing again while listening continued to pace as he asked follow up questions.

"Why do you think Captain Don Cragen called Detective Tutuola and not yourself or Detective Stabler?" He proceeded to asked making Olivia ask herself the same question, the thought hadn't occurred to her before.

"I don't know, you'll have to ask him that." Olivia shrugged.

"Nothing to do with the fact he didn't want his daughter running to his rescue?"

"I already answered." She spat knowing now where he was going and feeling relieved that Cragen had told her he was going to drag up their family issues.

"Do you think it's fair to say you reacted as a daughter when that call came in rather than a detective?"

"No." Olivia replied firmly even though that wasn't the whole truth, when she heard that call her detective instincts kicked in because her father was in trouble but she knew she couldn't tell Ed Tucker that.

"Are you sure?" He asked leaning in to her from the other end of the table.

"I'm sure." She replied also leaning forward her eyes firmly on his trying to show he wasn't getting a one up on her.

"Were you aware that Detective Tutuola's police issued cell phone was recording at the time he answered the call from his superior?" Ed Tucker asked pulling out a small tape player from the seat Olivia had expected him to occupy for this interview.

"Of course, all police issued cell phones do, it's why people like to have two." Olivia explained.

"Do you have two?" Tucker asked an eyebrow raised in surprise at her answer.

"Not that it's any of your business, no I don't, I have nothing to hide." Olivia said firmly, she'd contemplated it but decided against it, the only way they tapes would ever be listened to was if she was involved in a crime of some sort.

"Ok, well I have something I would like you to listen to." Tucker explained before pressing play on the tape player and voices called out across the room.

"Drop your weapon!"

"Don't come any closer!"

"Dad are you ok?"

"Yeah."

Ed Tucker paused the recording and looked back at Olivia.

"Are you sure you weren't reacting like a daughter?" He asked a smug smile playing on his lips making Olivia feel like hitting him.

"I'm sure I wasn't reacting like a daughter, calling him Dad doesn't reflect my thoughts, I was behaving and reacting like a Detective, my only concern was the girl and making sure he wasn't hurt in any way, my conduct isn't reflected by my words. I wanted to make sure my superior officer who happens to be my adoptive father was alright, I called him Dad, if you'd asked me did I refer to him as Dad or Captain I wouldn't have denied calling him Dad but again that doesn't reflect anything I did and the rest of that tape proves I was thinking clearly."

"Were you thinking clearly when you fired your weapon?"

"I wanted to make sure a sixteen year old girl who had obvious signs of mental distress and psychosis didn't end up in the morgue." Olivia replied angrily.

"What made you shoot in the leg?" He asked.

"I shot to disarm not to kill." Olivia explained. "Shooting her in the thigh caused her to stumble and drop the knife. If I shot in the foot which I had contemplated it would have hurt like a bitch but she may not have dropped the weapon and then she could have still ended up dead."

"Ok, I have one last question for you Detective Benson."

"Ok." Olivia nodded.

"Do you think Detective Stabler and Captain Cragen would lie for you because you're their family?"

"Never." She replied firmly.

"Interview terminated at one thirty five pm." He sighed switching off the tape before Olivia hurried out to find Elliot waiting.

"Well?" He asked.

"Piece of cake." She shrugged before walking away both of them knowing that one police plaza was the last place they should be showing public displays of affection.

Elliot watched her go, he could tell that her words had been a lie and seeing her hunched shoulders just added to his concern. He himself had never liked Ed Tucker, he'd always had the lieutenant up his backside for something or other and both men knew that they rubbed each other the wrong way.

"Detective Stabler?" Tucker called as he held the door open for the Detective who clearly towered over him and not that he'd admit it to anyone, he was intimidated by.

Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York

Tuesday, April 4th 2009

4.36 pm

Olivia sat at her desk her knees bouncing in anticipation, she'd had a text from Elliot to say he was done and that he was waiting for Cragen so they could ride back together. She'd been a nervous wreck all day and until she heard back from Ed Tucker she'd still be a nervous wreck, right now all she wanted was to see the two most important men in her life and find out how things had gone for them.

She didn't have to wait long as the two men walked into the precinct. She jumped to her feet the anticipation almost spilling over as Elliot rushed over and wrapped his arms tight around her and Cragen gave her a reassuring smile.

"Well?" She asked.

"You've been cleared, once he heard from me that I saw you purposely lower your weapon as she started pulling the knife across her throat he realised he didn't have a case." Cragen smiled.

Olivia squealed excitedly as she wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck he in turn picking her up from the floor knowing that the stress had been too much to deal with.

"Now there is only the matter of Abigail coming in at six to give her statement and confession then this is case closed." Cragen added before going off to his office leaving the two detectives to be with each other.

Manhattan SVU, Manhattan, New York

Tuesday, April 4th 2009

6.02 pm

"Are you sure you don't want to be in there?" Cragen asked as Olivia leant against the window ledge.

"Yeah, I think it's better for both me and Abigail that I'm not." Olivia replied shakily, Elliot and Alex Cabot sat with Abigail, her mother and their lawyer as she began to explain everything that had happened from start to end on the condition she was to severe four counts of Manslaughter one to be served in a facility for the mentally handicapped.

"Ok Abigail start from what happened at the party." Alex said and the girl looked nervously at her mother and then at the lawyer for confirmation before she said anything.

"I'd been dancing with Jed Roper all night, but then he disappeared with Hannah Coldwell, I told Carrie Lloyd that Hannah and Jed had gone upstairs and she got really angry calling Hannah a whore and that's when the voices in my head started to turn on Hannah."

"Ok so how did you end up with Hannah in the alleyway?" Alex asked needing a full confession.

"I left the party and headed for home but the voices in my head were so strong just telling me I had to do something. I stopped on the bench for some alone time wanting to clear my head you know and that's when I saw Hannah walking down the street with Sammy and Carrie hot on her heels. I stopped them and Carrie explained that Hannah was really drunk and was in no fit shape to get herself home so I offered to do it. They'd barely turned their backs when I ..." The tears stung the teenagers eyes as she thought of what she had done.

"When you what?" Alex asked, she didn't feel anything for the girl sobbing in front of her, she just wanted this confession out of the way.

"When I bashed her head into the wall." She explained. "I bashed it and bashed it over and over again until she wasn't moving anymore."

"Then?"

"Sammy and Carrie were screaming at me and I told them they had to help me and I pleaded with them and then I threatened them and said they were next if they didn't help me so they did, they helped me put Hannah in the dumpster." She explained hysterically.

Olivia had heard enough, she knew how the rest of it would go but she had needed to know what had led up to the first death, the rest of it she didn't need to know and didn't need to think about.

"Ok?" Cragen asked seeing her walking off.

"Yeah. Yeah I am now." She nodded giving him a weak smile, she was exhausted and just wanted to get some sleep, she'd barely slept a wink the previous night.

OK SO ONLY 2 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO AND THEN I HAVE A SEQUEL IN THE WORKS BUT NOT UNTIL I HAVE FINISHED EVERY STORY I'VE GOT STARTED, I ALSO WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I AM AWAY FOR THREE DAYS WITHOUT A COMPUTER SO THERE WILL BE NO UPDATES AFTER I LEAVE AND I ALSO HAVE A HECTIC 2 WEEKS AND WON'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO WRITE, I PROMISE I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT ANY STORY, IT'S JUST TOUGH TO WRITE WHEN I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS OR NOT ENOUGH ABOUT ONE PATICULAR STORY GOING AROUND AND AROUND IN MY HEAD!

3 SteffieDawn 3