Not gonna lie the night was pure crap. Once I realized it had been a week of not a thing, not even a glimpse it was pure suckville. I have to say Angela did her best to cheer me up. And I really hoped I had done well to play along. We went to work, got lunch then left work and got dinner. It was all on auto as I went through it really though. I didn't know how much that even when he seemed pissed at me I still relied on at least seeing him. Then I hit the slide of great now what did I do, why can't I see I am doing this shit and it was a spiral after that. There wasn't any real work going on, instead of going over and doing the files my eyes would be on the screen but my brain saw the black and white and went to replay every minute of him being back in my life.
After Ang left it got scary, I sat there not knowing how I came to be this person. Someone that relies on someone else to make them normal. Some pathetic freak that can't get through a rough night without crying or thinking of the million reasons why this isn't worth it. The work I had done wasn't for nothing this is just who I am meant to be. The sad fuck sitting on the couch staring at the needle. The one it only took two calls and a sleazy bar to get. The one that can just make it all fade to numb. The one that I sat staring at for lord knows how long.
I wanted it, the creepy voices told me I needed it. The demons in my blacken state told me to do it. The world went black, everything faded.
Here I am, soft lips pressed hard to mine. Fingers crushing into my jaw, thumbs under my chin angling me just right. My fingers pressing into his hips needing to feel more then the expensive fabric beneath.
It wasn't a kiss of desire it was one of need. It was a desperate connection, a force of nature. It was fate bringing two pieces back together. It was the best drug I had ever consumed.
AN: storm bad... Back soon... Just wanted to get a little more out. Promise there is more... tonight...
