It kept burning in her brain. The repetitive words and prolonged breaths, stories she wanted to ignore. She felt too assured, so much that it scared the center of her heart. She could not change paths because she had given in and had decided to go down this road, mentally preparing herself to become a killer. But she wouldn't use that word. She wasn't going to kill another human being because she was angry or psychotic, but she was going to do it because it was the only thing that would end the spiral of fear.

The first few steps down the stairs had been slow, her body trying to avoid the inexorable. She hadn't heard Ryan open the door to step inside, but she could hear two indistinct voices talking over each other. One perturbed, one confused.

Her next step was light.
The next hurting her foot.
Next making the gun in her pocket grind against her thigh.
Next shining light from the living room onto the bottom of her legs.
Next making her take a breath.
Next making her noticed.

The voices were now heard clearly in her ear, but she intentionally misconstrued them; didn't want to a barrage of questions that would lead to painful answers. Now at the bottom of the stairs, she saw Alfred in the same black-red sweater, standing in front of Max's father. His eyes gave away his unease of something Alfred must have told him about the whole hostage situation or something similar. He had both his hands down in his thick blue jacket and Chloe had to wonder how long it had been since she had seen him last because his beard had grown, hiding the entirety of his chin, and the creases around his eyes made him seem older. It could just be he was tired like everyone else, Chloe figured.
Those wonderings had to be discarded when she walked close enough to initiate the first question, coming from her grandfather, Alfred.

"Dear God, what has happened to you? Are you okay, Chloe?" The first predictable question when he must have noticed Chloe's pinched face, following all the noise he had heard coming from her room.

As Chloe didn't answer but only took slow steps closer to them, Alfred decided to speak again with Ryan looking as if he had questions of his own, but respectively waited.
"Did you chase after that man? And where is Max? I almost called the police, but I was so turned around I didn't know what to do"
Alfred's voice sounded distraught, but it was an observation Chloe had become numb to, because however much her grandfather worried, there was no gain in easing his mind until she could ease her own.

Although she didn't intend to answer, Ryan was quick to speak up before anyone else could.
"You should have called the police, and yeah, where is Max?" His attention snapped from Alfred to Chloe, his composure forcefully kept.
"Alfred told me there was a guy with a gun in your house, and I… what the hell happened, Chloe?" Collecting his hands up to his face in a subliminal attempt to hide his worries, waiting for confirmation that he should be alarmed.

It was confirmation that Chloe refused to give, even though these four eyes were staring at her as if she had a voice to make everything better. But she could only make everything worse. So why should she speak?

In silence, she took a step to the right to curve around what could only be seen as obstacles with her current agenda, and noticing the attempt to simply walk by, Ryan offhandedly moved his body, partially blocking the way, his face falling down into a stern expression.

"Chloe," Alfred tried again, his voice gone soft as he tried to avoid escalating the situation into a quarrel.
"I just want to know if you're alright" The calm approach didn't please Ryan who now felt concerned enough to discard his position and stepped forward, taking charge.

"To hell with that. A man with a gun was in the house, and now Chloe won't say where my daughter is" Ryan splayed his arms out, showing his dominion but was unaware of Chloe's brittle state. The moment she perceived Ryan as preventing her from getting to Ethan's, she tensed her limbs and silently adjured for him to keep quiet. Instead, he quickly turned his attention back to Alfred.
"Stop being so soft with her. I need to know what is going on, where Max is," He said to Chloe's grandfather, as if he, himself, had the right to discipline Chloe. As if he had any influence on what she would do.
With perfect timing in accord to Chloe's rising annoyance, Ryan peered at her, looked down on her with a lifted chin. "And you're not leaving until you tell us" He spoke with a stern voice, making it clear that he meant it seriously.

Although Chloe expected his reaction, all the remains of the recent past were pressing down on her heart, and she could not utter a response. If she ever were to rip herself free from the torment she felt; she was unsure, but it couldn't be now. All her eyes told her were how her life was gone, not upside down, not shattered, but simply under the sod. She would walk through the fire and stay in there as long as she could handle, but would not step out ever again. Leaving who she had been in the memories of friends, enemies, family and loved ones.

"Hey" The sternness in his voice was a demand for attention as Chloe didn't grant Ryan even the thought of looking at him when she took another step forward, ready to bump him out of the way if he did not move.

Chloe was sure that if she told Ryan of the man who was responsible for possibly killing his daughter, he would condone her plan, practically scream for Chloe to kill the son of a bitch.
But she did not need another person to allow the actions she were about to take. This was her choice for once. Not Max's. Not Ethan's. The one time where she truly had control. And no one was allowed to take that from her.

Alfred hovered a hand close to his face, his tendency of never being strict with Chloe never lost on him. "Chloe, please" He let out as an offer to stop, but the aching feet of Chloe's kept walking across the carpet floor, almost out. Almost free.

"HEY!" Ryan finally yelled when Chloe bumped him with her shoulder to get past him, and she felt it rising. The attempted rejection of her own life, the denial of being anything less than a human paragon. The weight of the dead, the people who died in the storm so Chloe could live, pushed her heart so far down that it sent a beat through her stomach that forced up images of every soul-crushing tragedy she had been a part of, and never could fix. And this tragedy had been the worst of all.

"THAT'S IT!" Ryan yelled in anger, forcefully grabbing Chloe's arm just before she could walk past him and stopped her in her tracks. Again. As she had been at the very beginning. As she had been at the mall. As she had been on the field.
But she would no longer take it.
Not this time.

With the anger she wanted to save for the kill, Chloe forcefully ripped herself free from Ryan's grip while making a loud grunt. She flipped on her heels and took a step back while pulling out the gun she had in her pocket. Her feet were planted on the ground as she swiftly aimed the loaded gun straight at Max's father with a glare that presented the scream of a wrecked girl.
"BACK THE FUCK OFF!" A yell and a cry mixed in one quaking voice, Chloe took sharp breaths while her hands were shaking from tensing every muscle around the grip of the gun.

It was like a sudden thunder strike, where Ryan instinctively got into a frightened defensive position, holding his hands slightly out in head-height and drew his upper-body back. He yelled some curses through his teeth while his eyes were locked on the gun pointed at him.
Alfred had reacted by shooting his eyes open and taking a step back that nearly made him stumble and fall, completely taken aback by Chloe's threatening action.
And Chloe meant for it to be threatening, but nothing more. She had to repeatedly yell inside her head:

Don't shoot! Don't you fucking pull the trigger!

But the voices were drowned out by the sheer intensity that had suddenly struck, and it short-circuited the wires in her brain, being only driven by the impulses in her body. Aware of this, Chloe made sure her finger was not on the trigger as a precaution, but her eyes could serve as the bullet as she frantically stared at Ryan, making sure he held the distance.
He made sure to communicate his cooperation as well, showing his open palms clearly to Chloe and still pulling a little away from her. Never could he have imagined being in this situation, and it was the complete astonishment that made him stutter when he spoke.

"O-Okay, I'm staying back" He made sure to obtain and maintain eye contact with Chloe, briefly analyzing her face; possibly assuming that she was on drugs in an attempt to somewhat logically explain her nonsensical behavior.
"Chloe, I just- I'm not going to attack you. You're in control, okay?" There was a layer of fear in his voice he attempted to hide underneath the reassurance, trying to speak calmly in the hope it would influence Chloe to do the same.
"I just want to know if- if my daughter… if she's… if- if Max is safe" Watching Ryan hunched over, fearing for his life because of Chloe, brought an eerie sensation to her stomach. A feeling that was broken up into pieces by the line between control and chaos and it made her shake her head once, to then anger her of having to be a messenger of sorrow.

"Oh, that's all you want to know? No, that is literally ALL you want to know?!" It hit how much there was to vocalize, how many stitches that had been sowed upon her mouth in this year alone. All she knew to then wanting to forget rolled around like a burning sphere in her body, every limp palpitating as a result.
"Well, I can answer that!" It was purely the tarry fuel that made her display the gun more vigorously, as she was empty of everything else.
"After having been tortured for the last couple of days and trying everything in her power to do the right thing, the world decided that she should suffer just a little more! If she's not lying in an open field, surrounded by a pool of her own blood, then she's probably in an ambulance, being rushed to the hospital for having an open bullet wound in her stomach!" She yelled it out for everyone to hear. For it was an incident everyone should be forced to listen to and then react, to then know what kind of world they were sharing.
"She's not fucking safe!" Chloe's voice went shrill, feeling her own words punching her in the face. She felt a fault for the fear.

Ryan and Alfred both stood back, but only of them reacting. Alfred looked slightly to the side, keeping Chloe in his peripheral vision, seemingly more focused on the situation at hand than what was being said. Ryan, on the other hand, was completely still, his eyes never wavering, his heart barely beating. He slowly opened his mouth to whisper out his daughter's name. If they were any heart left to tear in Chloe, she would have broken down in tears by the look on the father alone, but instead, it gave her a greater to desire to carry on.

"I don't know where she is now, I don't know how she is doing, but call St. Luke's Meridian Medical Center and check if she's been admitted" The wavering in her body prompted her to slowly lower the gun but still making sure the command was not misinterpreted as a request. She had been scared to do it herself, scared where her mind might wander if she wasn't there. Or if she was, but the hospital would hesitate to let her know how she was doing.
Even the thought of it tensed her muscles to such an extent that she could feel the acid permeating. No one said a word, and it had begun to hurt to simply stand still. She glanced one last time at the anxious eyes on him, searching for something she could not read. Turning her head in irritation, Chloe finally put the gun back in her pocket but no breath of relief was heard. She took a step towards the door, knowing that Ryan wouldn't hold her back this time.
"If the police arrive, tell them I went to kill Ethan Kestal" It added pressure to say it. Made it a 'do-or-die' situation, so there would be no turning back, and she also wanted people to know. Wanted the wretched news to run the story of a revenge-murder at every station to get people talking about morality. People may not end up agreeing with Chloe, they may even go out of their way to assail her to fuel their own self-worth, but she did not care. They didn't know.

"Chloe, wait!" Alfred suddenly spoke up, instinctively stopping Chloe in her tracks as she let out a quiet grunt and ran her nails up her jeans in annoyance.
"I can only imagine what you've been through, and I hate myself for not being more involved with your life, but please…" He took a step forward, now standing next to Ryan who stared blankly down at the floor.
Alfred's voice had turned soft as he hovered his right hand in front of his chest, quivering with a message.
"I love you so much, and I see that you're in pain. Every day I've wondered how you've been doing, but I never asked. Never really asked. And I'm so sorry. But I am here for you, Chloe. You don't need to go through this alone" He wanted to come through once more, but no longer be afraid to step too close as he had been for so long. He wanted his granddaughter to not perceive his next words as advice, but as an endeavor to save her from more harm in the life he wanted to protect.
"Please don't chase revenge so far that you'll never find your way back"
His hand slowly began reaching out to the girl who stood still to hear his words but didn't turn her head to watch her grandfather struggle not to sob out his plea.
"Blood cannot be cleaned with more blood, Chloe" How frightened he sounded to fully lose the frail grab on his granddaughter, to let the world turn her into something he could not be proud of.
"I know you're angry, but I also know that you're not a murderer. The man responsible will see justice by the hands of God when it's time, I swear"
All the talks they've had came back to him. All the exchanging words that helped shape Chloe in his eyes and let him know who she really was. He remembered how much he could soothe her by talking about God and heaven, to let her know that there would always be peace in the end.
"God will look after you. He will look after Max" The twist in her ailing heart as she heard Alfred's dulcet words speak so earnestly, made Chloe twitch her shoulders as if body desired for the chill to let her know of the life she was steps away from leaving behind.

She kept her footing, heard the creak of a promise and peeked inside. She allowed herself to feel, to make absolutely certain that she wanted to walk through the fire. But then it came to her mind, why there was fire to cross in the first place. Why was something needed to burn, just for God to prove some sort of point? Was it just a game to him? All the things that were allowed to happen to make her… what? Appreciate life? Appreciate death? And what about peace… She could only wonder why Max wasn't allowed to have peace. The girl that needed it the most. The girl that she loved. She could only wonder why love eventually settled to be a curse.
Only with a slight tilt of her head, she exhaled slowly and felt the warmth drawing her away, finally ready to see the light.

"God can go fuck himself" Her tone was forbidding and she felt the chain loosening around her ankles. The weight of providence lifting from her shoulders. She was an individual. Not the bearer of souls without bodies, not a girl stuck in the circle of redemption. She was the person who took a step forward, squeezed the gun in her hand and walked out the door, only leaving a crestfallen silence behind.

Pound.
Pound.
Breath.
Pause.
Pound.

No.

Pound.
Pound.
Breath.
Pause.
Pound.

Don't think.

Pound.
Pound.
Breath.
Pause.
Pause.
Pound.

Just keep running.

Pound.
Pound.
Breath.
Pause.
Breath.
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.

For fuck's sake.

Chloe strikingly hunched over herself and supported her weight by placing her hands on her thighs, taking quick, cold breaths that hurt her throat, making her want to hold the air in her lungs. Her legs had endured over ten minutes of running with shifting pace, but the adrenaline could no longer carry her alone. She had no food in her system to expend the energy, no rest for the past days. It was a miracle she could move at all. But that miracle seemed to have ended as she felt sick to her stomach and sweat began permeating all over her body, with cold chills running through her.

In determination, Chloe looked up to see where she was. If she could form some kind of idea how close she was to Ethan's house, but bright lights flashed in her vision, making it near impossible to see anything. It made her contemplate her decision to leave the car behind and run instead. It had made sense as the police would without a doubt be looking for her car on the streets, patrols probably already scouting the neighborhood. But now the cold-sweat, her beating heart, and every prolonged breath made the argument that she should have taken her chances. There was still a good distance to Ethan's house, and if she stepped in one more puddle on the way, she would scream bloody murder. The rain had stopped, the effects still lingering.

I'll just have to distract my mind from how tired my body is.
Change of plans then… think as much as you possibly can!

The pause had ended, and with a blinding pain that explicitly told her body to stop killing itself, Chloe resumed running through the night.

God, I feel sick. Alright.
Think. Think about something relevant. Like, that fucking… fucking… wow. I can't even think of one relevant thing.

Her thoughts seemed to scatter around, but never sticking to one part of her brain. And the difficulty of distracting herself made her conscious of her burning chest and cold fingers. It was like a rubber ball bouncing around in her head, she just had to wait for it to lose its momentum.

God, even though Ethan came fucking clean to me, there are still so many things I don't know. And how the fuck does Tiffany fit into all of this shit?! It was her purse with the picture of Ethan's daughter, but somehow it just doesn't make sense that her part would be so minor if she truly is working with Ethan.
The worst unknown, however, is the future.

Her motions slowly became automated, her vision only registering the passing streetlights with a set interval between them.

Like… what the fuck am I supposed to do? God, it frightens me to even think one second ahead.
It actually scares the shit out of me… but… after… I can't imagine what will happen after I kill Ethan.
Why can't I imagine it? Why do my thoughts stop when reaching that point?

It became increasingly frustrating to be unable to think freely. As if her thoughts had reached a closed door. It was a similar feeling when someone would say 'don't think about a purple elephant' and you'd be unable to think about anything else. Only now, it was the opposite. She was unable to think about the purple elephant.

Why…

It had stuck for too long, and once again her thoughts bounced to another place in her brain, but this time, she felt as if she had a vague control over the direction.

Why did I have to hurt grandpa?... He has been trying for so long to get on my good side, but I there's so much shit I couldn't tell him about my life, that he probably thinks I've been pushing him away. And I have.
Those talks we've had… there've been too few. They were so nice. He is so nice. I don't want to lose that, but…

And as it became, the ball began settling where it so often did. In a place that, despite its frequent changes, would always be so familiar.

It's not about my life. It's about… It's about Max.

And only with that name, did the burning chest, the cold fingers, the stinging feet, and the headache disappear her conscious mind for a moment.

Max… fuck, I miss her so much. She was my… she is…

She twitched her head and quickly shut her eyes closed.

Goddammit! Stop acting as if she's dead! She's not! Of course she's not! She's my best friend, she is the fucking love of my life, and the sweetest motherfucking person in the world. I'll see her again, I'll talk to her again, I'll kiss her again. No matter what. It's just something that has to happen. Something that will happen.

With her thoughts taking a careful and soothing turn, it, unfortunately, began making Chloe aware of her own body once more. She was still running, although her tempo had slowed due to necessity. Her vision had turned brighter, the feeling of stifling somehow temporarily absent. She was aware, but it felt different. More illusionistic. She truly did feel as if space around her was a bubble surrounding her. A bubble she wanted to pierce through to see what was on the other side.

Fuck, my feet hurt. Max would tease me about that…

"It's all those cigarettes, dude. They're killing your running cells."

My running cells, really Max? Smoking is not as dangerous as it made up to be, I swear. It's like… right, it gives a higher chance of lung cancer, but I'll die of something either way when I'm like eighty. Could be lung cancer. Could be bear attack. And I'd rather go down on my own terms.

"It's not just the lungs. I've read that new studies suggest that it's also could make you go deaf. Then what becomes of your music? No more headbanging."

How would smoke hurt my ears? And stop reading those fucking… Buzzfeed articles.

"It's wasn't Buzzfeed."

Whatever. I bet that if you google 'is smoking bad for…' then the auto-suggest will fill out every possible thing. It's a freaking war on smoking at this point. And how did the war on drugs turn out, huh, Max? They're still… pretty damn easy to get a hold of. Like, as long as there's demand, there will always be supply from someone. Americans, Mexicans, Greenlanddians.

"Greenlandians is not a… not a word. But stop getting off topic! Smoking! Your sight, your smell. It can even cause erectile dysfunction."

Yeah, that… that's something I don't worry too much about. Unless I go all out futa-mode.

"What? What is futa?"

Alright. Less time on Buzzfeed for you, more time on weird porn sites.

"Chloe, I just don't want you to, you know… get sick. I want you to be around for… well, as long as I am around."

Yeah, I get it. I want to be around you as well. Honestly, I'd rather die by being mauled by a bear, if we both get mauled.

"You're so romantic with your words and such."

Thank you. What I am saying, though, is that… it's pretty cool how I feel like you're a part of my life, right? Like, it's… I can't think of a future without you. I know this is getting into 'woah, moving way too fast' territory since we've only been officially dating for… ehh… for a short time.

"You don't remember how long we've been dating? God, this is heading straight for you forgetting our anniversary and me being mad about it. You buying me a gift to say sorry, and me being unable to resist your cute face."

Our anniversary of what? Of when we started to date?

"Eh, yeah. I mean… yeah. I'd like to think that maybe someday… it could be a different anniversary, I guess."

We're definitely moving into 'woah, moving way too fast' territory now.

"Probably. But you're the one who brought it up. Besides, I don't really mind… talking about it."

Yeah… me neither. I actually already bought the ring.

"Shut up."

Alright, alright. I haven't bought a ring, but… I think I have some mints in my pocket or something? So… Max. Will you eat mints with me?

"Yes. A thousand times yes."

And they lived happily ever after.

"Oh. I think you're here."

What? Where?

"At Ethan's house. Wasn't that the whole reason you were running?"

I… yes. It was, but…

"You're worried about the consequences?"

It's not that. It's just… if I walk in there… what will happen to you?

"I guess I'll wait outside."

I want us to do this together, though. Like partners.

"Partners in crime, you mean?"

Yeah…

"It'll be alright, Chloe. You go in there, do what you have to do, and I'll be staying right here until you come back."

You promise? You won't leave?

"I would never leave you, Chloe."

Okay.

"Okay."

I… Thanks. I love you.

"…"

She heard herself take a breath, the cold air quickly entering her mouth and filling her lungs. She was unsure of for how long she had been running and for how long she had stopped and stood still before the house. A house that knew it was special, demanding for Chloe's heart to never cease to beat excruciatingly fast. Her feet stood on an empty road with no sidewalk, away from the suburbs, away from the city. It was a single nest of houses, and then nothing else alive. White bricks. Dark-brown roof tiles.

A drop of sweat unnoticeably traced the curves on her slim face and got stuck on the bottom of her chin.

It was a house- a home big enough for at least three people. The small window under the triangular shape of the facing roof suggested that there were two floors. She took notice of the red car sitting idly a little behind the house, which must have meant that Ethan was home.

And then it struck her… she was actually standing in front of Ethan's home. And there were no police around. No one to stand in her way, but her own inhibitions.
So dark the night had chosen to become and so quiet the world stemmed. Only a dim reflection of the moon in the cloud-filled skies made her see the names plastered on the mailbox next to one of the doors.

Ethan Penn Kestal.
Nora Jaqueline Kestal.

With Nora's name having been partially removed, but not nearly as much as the third name underneath, which had been almost completely removed, with only small pieces of tape still visible.

She took a step closer, her heart not settling and every beat banging in her ears. A metallic taste spread across her tongue, the dry blood from her friend on her hand had wandered to become the blood on her teeth. There was no controlling her second step, for this was what it had all lead up to. She had sworn one too many times, and now the world was due for a result. With an icy hand, she reached down into her pocket and lifted up the gun. The promise of death had come too soon, but the certainty was here. Looking right at her.

She took another step and could feel Max's breath on her neck, the whisper in her ear. A tale of a free yesterday, a dreadful today, and a beautiful tomorrow. An assurance. A pledge. A vow. A wound in her stomach that stretched as her eyes yearned for the daylight of tomorrow in the aftermath of the bloodshed of the night. The final night where the devil was allowed to breathe. Chloe's revenge was here.

And so she took another step.