A/N: A bit of silliness to start you out. Thanks in part to Iliya Moroumetz

Del dramatically takes the stage, addressing the Admirals. "While Tali was helping me save the galaxy, you punks have been sitting on your duffs doing jack squat! She knows how to beat Geth! YOU should be listening to her, and…and waiting on her hand and foot with a stable of the manliest quarian men as her harem!

Tali blinks and starts to blush. "My own…harem?"

Del jabs a fist in the air. "Damn RIGHT your own harem! And they have to be oiled! OILED I tell you!

Tali blushes even harder. "Oh, Keelah…"

"And she needs an army of armored dragons that spit fire, to crush her enemies! Crush them and see them driven before her!"

Del's ringing voice draws to a dramatic pause, and she hooks her thumbs into her lapels as a serious, solemn, unwavering expression comes over her face. "And, ladies and gentlemen of the Admiralty Board…I assure you. She will hear the lamentations of their women."

Tali starts doing the Running Man in the background as the entire Conclave cheers!

*ahem*

And now for something completely different…


As Shepard stepped forward, a silence fell over the entire amphitheatre…a silence broken only by the distant heavy hum of engines, the soft hiss of the air recyc units. Shepard folded her arms, standing straight, her shoulders square…and Tali felt something sink inside her. For the very first time since they had met, Tali found her trust in Shepard wavering, leaving a tight, hollow feeling in her gut.

She hated herself for that feeling.

"Admirals, I would like to see your evidence first," the human woman suddenly stated.

"Captain, we-" Zaal'Koris began with a glower, but Shepard interrupted him.

"All I have seen in this farce of a trial so far is demands that Tali prove her innocence. I would like you to prove her guilt. Show me…show these people…what it is that led you to the conclusion Tali had any hand whatsoever in what happened to the Alarei."

"Tali was sending geth parts to the Alarei," Daro'Xen replied. "She-"

"Proof, Admiral," Shepard said sternly. "Where is the shipping manifest? Where is the hard documentation with Tali's name on it? Surely you have that, to prove that she's guilty! Please tell me you are not doing this over hearsay and rumor alone."

When the silence remained unbroken for a few moments Shepard nodded. "That's what I thought. Ladies and gentleman of the Conclave…Captains…Tali'Zorah has proven time and time again her loyalty to this Fleet and her people. She is an irreplaceable asset to your people. Over and over again she's fought geth by my side. There is not a single man or woman alive on this Flotilla that knows more about the geth than she does. Tali would give her breath, her blood, her very life for every one of you, and this…this is what you do? With only rumor and hearsay to go on you would stand her on trial and threaten to banish her from the people she loves, the people she fights for?"

Shepard was getting heated, her voice ringing through the room. "You should be listening to her! Her knowledge about the geth is invaluable...knowledge that completed her Pilgrimage and earned her a place aboard the Neema. A brave marine gave her life because she believed in Tali. Kal'Reegar was willing to stand by her on Haestrom and on the Alarei because he believes in her! I believe in her, and I would put my life into her hands without hesitation! Tali was willing to go aboard the Alarei and die just to protect this Fleet, to protect you…and this is what you do to her?"

She jabbed a finger toward the quartet. "Yes, Admirals, I would like some actual solid proof that you have any ground to stand on here. I refuse to believe the quarian people would cast one of their best, brightest, and bravest out of their Fleet on mere rumor. Or…perhaps Tali isn't what this trial is about at all, Admirals? I think what this is really about is an excuse…an excuse to drive your people into war with the geth…or to persuade them onto a colony world somewhere. I think you saw this situation and ran with it, and poor Tali just happened to get in the way."

Glaring at the silent men and women Shepard's voice dropped just a little. "So no, I am not going to prove to you that Tali is innocent. She has already proven that time and again with all she has poured in to her people and her Fleet. You prove to me that this remarkable young woman deserves even a sliver of this vitriol! If you can show me without a doubt that Tali is a traitor to this Fleet, then I will take her on the Normandy and you will never see either of us again. Because I would rather stand and fight beside this 'traitor' any day, then do the same with any of you."

The Conclave was rumbling, different voices rising as more than one Captain got to their feet. It was impossible to determine what each was saying but more than once Shepard heard a demand toward the Admirals of 'Prove it!' or 'Show us the proof!'

"Please, everyone, take your seats," Shala'Raan ordered. "Captain Shepard, do you have anything further to say?"

Shepard nodded, then glanced back at Tali. "No matter what happens, Tali is and always will be one of my crew…one of my family. If you cast her out…she will always have a home, and people who know her true worth."

"Thank you, Captain," Raan murmured. "Admirals, have you made your decisions?"

Shepard stepped back to Tali's side, turning to face the Admirals again as they lit up their omni-tools. A low murmuring rumble was still moving through the Conclave. Shepard felt Tali's hand grip hers suddenly, squeezing tight.

"Thank you, Shepard," she whispered. Feeling the girl's shaking, Shepard gripped her hand back just as tightly.

A moment later, Shala'Raan looked at her own omni-tool and straightened, the motion bringing a wave of silence back down over the crowd.

"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, please step forward."

Shepard gave the quarian's hand another gentle squeeze, before releasing it. As stoically as she was able, Tali stepped forward a pace, bravely straightening as she faced down the Admirals, ready to accept her judgment.

"Tali, with lack of sufficient evidence and in light of your actions upon the Alarei and the numerous services you have provided not only among your people, but as part of Captain Shepard's crew…we declare you innocent of all charges. This hearing is concluded. Keelah se'lai."

Shepard felt a rush of relief pass through her, her shoulders loosening a little as the rumble of talk once more filled the room. Tali seemed to sag forward, hands lifting to plaster over her face-plate. Stepping up to her side, Shepard put a hand on her back.

"Tali, you ok-"

The girl whirled, flinging her arms around Shepard's neck and hugging her tightly. "Thank you!" she sobbed. "Oh, thank you, Jie Jie!"


"Liara, the shuttle has landed. Del and Deeds are on their way here."

Ori propped her hip up against the console, folding her arms companionably as she regarded the asari woman. Liara had no fewer than twelve different screens open, concentration knitting her brows.

She looks so tired, Ori thought. It had not escaped her notice that their Shadow Broker was not sleeping well, often up until the wee small hours working.

"Hmm?" Liara blinked, reluctantly tearing her eyes away from the feeds and focusing on the redhead as if Ori had just appeared out of nowhere.

"Sydney," Ori said gently. "Deeds? They just arrived. They should be here any moment."

"Oh…oh, thank you, Ori. I am sorry, I am distracted. You…Deeds?"

"Deirdre," Ori told her. "Most of us call her Dees or Deeds. Sometimes just Navis."

"So you have met her? You are all familiar with her?"

"Yeah, she drops by the Folly every few weeks. Stays a while, then goes on again. Can't keep her feet nailed down, but she's good people. Honestly, though…you think you aren't getting any sleep now, just wait. Syd and Dees can keep the whole goddamn ship up without even trying."

"They…?" Liara began, confused, before realization dawned. "Oh. Oh! I…I was not aware, I…"

Goddess, Liara, you are a fool…she thought. Here she had been so concerned about Sydney and Del's past relationship. It had never even occurred to her that Sydney might also have moved on, just as Shepard had.

"You sure you're ok, boss?" Ori asked. "Everything shiny?"

"Yes, thank you Ori. I am…just tired, is all. So much work…I should probably take a break. I would like to speak with Deirdre and Sydney-"

"Well, get those pretty blue lips a'flappin', because here we are," Sydney quipped as she strode up. Liara looked over, then rose from her chair as the blonde human woman walked up, unabashedly flinging her arms around the Liara and hugging her. "Good to see you again."

"It is good to see you again too," Liara replied, lightly returning the embrace. "You are…all right? Shepard told me, about Thane…"

"Oh, I'm ok," Sydney said, almost shame-faced. "Just…it was an old book I hadn't closed yet, you know? Wasn't expecting to be face to face with the end of it like that, after so long. I just had to get my head straight."

"I think I can understand that," Liara smiled affectionately, before her eyes moved to the asari woman standing silently a few feet behind her.

She had heard of Deidre Navis before, of course. Every asari was familiar with the Navis family. Deirdre was involved in a bit of a scandal, as well…making her even more notorious. The family hadn't all been exactly pleased when Deidre's mother, Rynna, had decided to bond with another asari. It hadn't been done in the Navis line for nearly five generations…a very long time by asari standards.

More, Liara had been using her Broker sources to research even more deeply into the woman since she heard she was coming aboard. What she had uncovered troubled her a little, and she wondered if it was information that Sydney was privy too…or if the human woman was completely in the dark about her chosen companion.

Navis was lovely, of course…it was rare to find an asari that was not, after all. Her clothes were elegantly and richly made if still lending ease of use and functionality. She was truly not much older than Liara, perhaps only by a handful of years, but she had an air about her…the confidence and grace of the wisest matriarchs.

"Oh, sorry," Sydney grinned, seeing where Liara's gaze had gone. "Deeds, this is Dr. Liara T'Soni. Li, this is Deirdre Navis."

"Ms. Navis, it is my pleasure to meet you," Liara greeted with a slight incline of her head. "Sydney has told me…well, nothing about you."

The asari laughed, giving Sydney a look and a gentle push. "That is because Sydney lacks quite a lot in the way of social graces," she replied. The blonde shrugged.

"Comes from being a meat-head," she said. "Oh, and I'm ashamed of you."

"I'm ashamed of you too, darling," Navis replied instantly. Even if she hadn't known better, Liara could easily see from both of their expressions that neither was even remotely ashamed. That final lingering knot of jealousy over Sydney and Del's past relationship unraveled and melted away. The blonde's emotional investments were clearly solidly aimed in a different direction.

As that knot unraveled, however, a new one took its place. If Sydney did not know the true nature of Navis's work and travels…then she feared the human woman would be devastated. Given her recent encounter with Thane she could not imagine Sydney reacting with any sort of positivity to the truth…especially if she felt her trust had been betrayed.

"She has told me quite a bit about you, however," Deirdre replied. "You and Commander Shepard, the missing colonists, the Collectors. I am here to aide in any fashion I can."

"I appreciate that, Ms. Navis-"

"Deirdre, please," the other girl insisted. "Syd speaks nothing but accolades about Del Shepard and about you. Granted, she does have hideous taste but…she has grown on me. Rather like a wart."

"Bitch," Sydney snorted.

"Well, it is good to have you here. We need all the allies we can get. Things are…well. Our position is a bit precarious-"

"Syd told me that too. I am sworn to silence about this place, and I am very devoted to my oath, Ms. T'Soni. However I also know that you have no reason to trust me save Syd's rather questionable good word…"

"Bitch times two," Syd huffed.

"…and so I submit myself to your custody, until that trust can be earned."

Liara blinked, surprised. "C-custody?"

"Indeed. There is a rather sizable detention facility on this ship, is there not? I will gladly sequester myself there. So long as I have an extranet connection I can coordinate any resources that you need, monetary or otherwise, and my data usage can be completely and fully monitored."

"And she looks smashing in chains," Syd grinned.

"Chains?" Liara asked, horrified. "I would not chain-"

"Relax, Li, that was a joke," Sydney laughed. "Honestly, I don't want to make you worry and I know that trust comes at a high price these days. Del trusts me but she took a risk already on my men. I can't ask her to take more, not where you're concerned. I trust Dees with my life but we want to be sure you can trust her also, not merely take our word for it. The detention center is perfectly comfortable, she'll be fine. Besides, it means I know exactly where she is at all times."

"I hope you are not speaking of conjugal visits, Sydney. What kind of asari do you think that I am?"

"Oh, I know what kind you are…biblically. Now stop flirting in front of my friend before she thinks you're utterly crass."

"I am utterly crass," Deirdre pointed out, before making a rather elegant gesture toward Liara. "I am at your disposal, Ms. T'Soni."

"If you are going to insist I call you Deirdre, then I insist you call me Liara," she said. "I think…the detention center will not be necessary. However I would like to have a discussion with you, in my office?"

"You're taking a risk," Dees pointed out warily. "If I am untrustworthy, having me in your office alone-"

"I have four security mechs, a targeted weapons system, full kinetic shields and I am pretty handy biotically. I think I will be fine for a short discussion alone with you, especially if the door is left open and Wilcher is tuned in to the security vid feeds."

"Hmm. Fair enough," Deidre acquiesced.

"I'll go and kick the guys back into shape. I'm sure they've been loafing while I've been off-ship," Sydney said. "Try not to have too much fun without me, all right?"

"The only time there is fun is when it's without you," Deidre replied. Heading away, the blonde turned in her stride to lift two middle fingers and a shit-eating grin at the asari, before continuing on her way.

"This way," Liara murmured, indicating a small side passage. Deidre immediately stepped in front of her, allowing Liara to take up the rear as they headed into Liara's small private office.

She is trying to show she means no threat, Liara thought. She is displaying her own trust, allowing me to be at her back.

The move made her feel a little better…but only slightly. As they stepped into the office Liara went around the desk, but did not sit. Instead, she leaned her fingertips on the smooth surface and regarded Deidre firmly.

"Does she know?" she asked bluntly.

"Know…?"

"About what it is you really do," Liara told her. "About…your training."

Deirdre's face went still before she slowly nodded. "Of course you would know…the information you have at your fingertips must be staggering. It was naïve of me to assume you would not discover that."

"Well, I have…and truth be told, my concern lies with Sydney. She is a good friend, and she means a great deal to Shepard. I would…take it rather personally if she were to be hurt. As, no doubt, would Del."

"Your concern for her is admirable, Liara," Deirdre told her. "However threats are not needed. Sydney means everything to me. I would do anything for her."

"Except tell her the truth," Liara noted. When the other asari said nothing, Liara had her answer. Straightening she asked, "What is it that she thinks you do?"

"My family runs several major corporations," Deirdre told her. "I do mergers and acquisitions, some merchant research, woo new clients. I have to travel extensively."

"No doubt you do," Liara said, "and no doubt some of that is true. Why do you not tell her the rest? Why keep this from her?"

"Tell her I'm an assassin for a very old and very powerful matriarch?" Deirdre scoffed. "You may not have noticed, but Sydney has little sympathy or care for assassins, Liara. If she knew the truth-"

"You would risk losing her," Liara said softly. "I understand-"

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do," Liara said firmly. "I would…I would do anything to keep from losing Shepard. I have…I have done unspeakable things to…"

"Yet you have never lied to her?" Deirdre asked skeptically. "Never kept a secret from her? Pretend she did not know you were the Broker, and you knew that if she did know she would leave you forever…probably after spitting hatred in your face, tearing apart everything you ever had. Would you tell her?"

"I…I do not know what I would do," Liara admitted softly. "What I do know is this, Deirdre. If Sydney finds out the truth, she is going to feel horribly betrayed. Her trust in you will be irrevocably shattered. You cannot hide it from her forever."

"Are you going to tell her?" Deirdre asked quietly.

"No…" Liara admitted. "No, that is not my place."

"Then I think our discussion is finished," Deirdre said stonily. "If I may be excused, Ms. T'Soni? There is a lot of work that I could be doing and the sooner we get funds and resources to the Folly the better Shepard's fight against the Collectors and the Reapers will be."

"O-of course. You…of course."

The other asari turned and strode out. A moment after she'd gone, Liara lowered her head, covering her face with a hand.


The light was a bright but soft white, shining off chrome and polished steel with sharpness, yet seeming to caress still and silent flesh with a mournful gentility.

The quarian girl had been completely removed from her environmental suit, and lay nude upon the table, covered to the armpits with a blanket. Her long hair, a rather dark shade of burgundy highlighted with locks of rose-polished gold, lay spread beneath her head in a soft waterfall.

A lightly trembling three-fingered hand reached out and lightly touched the slope of her cheek, the line of her jaw. Flesh was separated from flesh by the suit glove still required for the living.

After a moment, the hand withdrew, before its owner almost angrily gripped her glove. Closing her wrist seal and unfastening the static bond, she peeled the glove off, baring her own pale hand to the outside air.

Again her hand returned to the still face, and at the touch of cold flesh upon hers, Shala'Raan lowered her head and began to weep…the first true tears she had shed since her daughter had gone to that ship, gone to her death.

Once the dam was broken it was impossible to stem. Lowering her head, Shala rest the edge of her face-plate against her daughter's cheek, her bare fingers tangling in that soft hair…hair she had not felt with her own skin since Deefa had been put into the bubble. Trembling, trying to stifle the sobs that would not stop coming, she was unaware she was no longer alone until she felt a gentle hand touch her back.

"Auntie Raan…" Tali murmured sadly. Struggling herself back under control, the older woman straightened, looking toward the girl at her side. A few feet away, she could see Captain Shepard lingering at a respectful distance, unobtrusive.

"Tali," Shala whispered thickly. "Please…forgive me. I was so terribly cruel to you."

"You did what you did in order to help me," Tali told her. "I see that now. I…you have always been there for me, Auntie Raan. I…I am so sorry."

"This was not your doing, Tali," Raan replied. Lifting her bare hand she took hold of Tali's shoulder, then drew her in, hugging her tightly. At the embrace her will broke down again, and she clung to the younger quarian, desperate to ease at least some of this pain.

Tali held her just as tightly, weeping as well for her lost friend. How much time passed in the embrace neither woman could say, and neither even loosened their grip until weariness replaced tears. Pressing her face-plate against Raan's, Tali murmured a soft reassurance, keeping hold of the woman's hand as she turned and looked down at Deefa's silent form.

"She was so brave at the end, Raan," she whispered. "What she did for me…for father…I will never forget it."

Shala said nothing, assuming that Tali meant Deefa insisting on going to the ship to find proof of Tali's innocence. She watched as the girl reached out, also stroking a hand lightly over Deefa's face, drifting some hair back from her forehead.

"May Rannoch's warm sun always shine upon you," she murmured, before she drew it back again. Looking at Raan she lowered her head a little. "I have to go."

"I know," Shala murmured softly, then gripped her hands tightly. "Be safe out there, Tali. Come home to us soon."

"I will," Tali promised. "I have Captain Shepard watching over me and…and now Deefa too."

"Stars guide you home again," the older woman told her, before hugging her once more. Gripping tightly a moment, Tali only reluctantly withdrew, touching Raan's shoulder before looking at Deefa's serene face one last time.

Turning away, she headed back to Shepard's side. "Let's…let's go, Jie Jie. I'm…let's just go."


Once they had returned to the Normandy, Tali said nothing, only disappeared down toward engineering after giving Shepard a final hug. Respecting the girl's need to be alone right now, Shepard ordered Joker to disengage from the Flotilla and take them out of the system back toward the Citadel. Then she went to her quarters, stowing her hard-suit and taking a long, scalding hot shower.

Drying and dressing, she slumped back on her bed with a blast of air, draping her forearm over her eyes. The whole nightmare of the Admirals, the trial, and Tali's grief kept spinning madly in her head until she finally dozed off, almost in sheer defiance of it.

She woke up a couple of hours later with a pounding headache, glancing in disorientation at her clock. It was still early evening, and she hadn't had anything to eat all day…a fact her stomach was swiftly reminding her of.

Not bothering to change out of her yoga pants and her tank, Shepard padded barefoot to the lift and then down to the mess, wanting nothing more than a strong cup of joe and a plate of somewhat edible food.

As the lift doors parted, however, she heard a strange voice speaking, a breath before peals of laughter.

"Do you wanna rumble?"

The laughter sharpened the throb momentarily in her head and scowling, she stepped around the lift and entered the mess, blinking in shock.

She was standing in the middle of the room…or rather, something that looked a hell of a lot like her was. The form was made of shimmering light, almost like liquid crystal or soft glass that occasionally streamed with streaks of pale orange. Gathered around it was half the crew, including Joker, Jacob, and Chakwas.

She instantly recognized it as a VI interface but it took her a moment to remember that it was, in fact, a VI of her.

Mouse had been selling them on the Citadel. Shepard had asked for a copy and had uploaded it to her omni-tool. Mostly it was just out of idle curiosity…a curiosity that hadn't been strong enough for her to actually power it up. What it was doing powered up now in the middle of the mess was beyond her…yet part of her had no doubt whatsoever that Joker was behind it.

"Commander, why don't you dance for us?" Joker asked the image, unaware the real Shepard was standing unnoticed at the edge of the mess.

"I know the tango and the foxtrot, soldier, but I only dance with asari," the VI replied in its odd, high-pitched and almost nasally voice. The gathered crew roared with laughter at the response. Shepard folded her arms, striding forward a few paces, still unnoticed as all attention was fixed on her doppelganger.

Joker, a shit-eating grin still plastered to his face, swiped his hand over his beard a moment. "Commander, state your parameters."

"This VI is equipped with an SSV Normandy flight sim! I can predict what the real Commander Shepard would say with 7% accuracy."

"Can you maintain a filing system?" he asked, his grin twitching mischievously.

"You should do it yourself. I have a galaxy to save."

More laughter. Had he been capable, Joker would probably have danced in place out of glee. "How do you feel about the asari?" he asked.

"Once you go blue, you always stay true," the VI responded, prompting the largest roar of laughter yet.

As Joker opened his mouth to ask another question, Shepard suddenly spoke up instead.

"VI, what do you do with a crew that mocks their commanding officer?" she barked. Instantly every man and woman in the room startled, more than one chair falling over as their occupants jumped to their feet. Most every single hand suddenly snapped up in a salute. Joker nearly fell over as he whirled around, his face going pale.

"I never met a problem a bullet couldn't solve!" the VI said cheerfully. Shepard narrowed her eyes at the pilot.

"What a good idea. I like the way you think."

"C-Commander, I uh…I was just…" Joker stammered, his own salute rather shaky.

"You were just what, Jeff?" she asked sternly.

"I-I…I…really have no good answer, ma'am," he admitted.

"Yeah, I bet you don't," she retorted, then glared around at the rest of the staring crew, most of whom were still saluting. "Jump to, people! We have a ship to run! If you're not off-duty get your asses to your duty stations, ma shang!"

Instantly the group began to scatter, even those off-duty quickly making themselves scarce. Chakwas was the only one who looked nonplussed, giving the Commander a smirk before disappearing casually into the medbay.

Shepard turned back to Joker. "You wanna explain how you got the VI?" she demanded.

"I…uh…well, it…"

"You are in the habit of dumping copies of the files stored in your omni-tool onto your personal console in your quarters, Shepard," EDI helpfully supplied, Joker wincing as her voice filtered down from the ceiling. "That included a copy of the VI you obtained from Mouse on the Citadel. Jeff was aware of this habit, aware you had obtained it, and asked me to retrieve a copy from your console."

"Thanks a lot, snitch," Joker mumbled under his breath.

"And you just…went along with this, right?" Shepard demanded, folding her arms.

"Jeff told me it was to be a gift. He wanted me to fix the bugs in its system and fine-tune the program to be your personal assistant. I reminded him you have both myself and Yeoman Chambers and do not need a VI assistant, but he seemed to think you would appreciate it."

Joker winced a little, involuntarily taking a step back as Shepard's demonic synthetic eyes shifted back to him.

"I…it was just supposed to be a joke, Shepard," he said weakly. "All this shit going on, being apart from Liara, the mess with Tali…I just…I thought you'd be amused, that's all. I wanted to cheer you up."

Shepard narrowed her eyes slightly at him, then regarded the VI. Wrinkling her nose she stepped closer to it, peering at its shimmering face. The VI silently observed her in turn, then suddenly spoke up again.

"Did anyone tell you you're a hell of a looker, soldier?"

"Jesus fuck, Joker!" Shepard glared at him.

"What? I didn't change any of its programmed responses, those are all factory," he protested.

Shepard wrinkled her nose again, straightening as she perused her electronic self. "I don't really sound like that," she scoffed, then paused. "Uh…do I?"

"No, the voice is…wrong," Joker replied. "I was going to have EDI instate a new one using actual direct samples of your voice print. This one was obviously badly programmed. You sound like an elf with a head-cold…"

Her withering gaze landed on him again and he cleared his throat. Then she smiled slightly…which worried him even more than her irritation had.

"Well, why don't we work on that then? You'll have plenty of time to get her up to spec, Joker."

"Uh…Commander?"

"EDI, I think Joker needs some personal attention, don't you?"

"Ma'am?" the AI inquired.

"Well, I think he needs someone to keep his appointments straight, help him with the repair roster, maintenance requisitions, nav charts…"

"Uh…" Joker blinked.

"I currently perform most of those duties, Commander," EDI reminded her.

"Oh I know, but you're very busy, EDI…you have a whole ship to help run, after all. I don't want to rob your processing time. Do me a favor and link the VI to Joker's omni-tool and assign it those duties, would you? Make sure it gives him hourly…no, quarter-hourly updates on status and progress. It is to be powered on every moment he is on duty until further notice."

"Aw, c'mon Commander-"

"Understood Commander," EDI agreed. The VI interface suddenly flickered, then turned its head and focused on the pilot.

"Extranet records show you have flight training," VI Shep said happily. "Ever think about a career with the Alliance, soldier?"

"Oh God," Joker moaned.

"If you believe in a deity I would be more than happy to send you to meet them."

"Aw, Commander, c'mon…"

"You have a helm to report to, Mr. Moreau," Shepard replied with a faint smirk. "I suggest you get to your duties…before I make her voice an octave higher and have EDI install the Star Spangled Banner into her repertoire."

As the pilot saluted and stalked off…as best as he could stalk, anyway…VI Shep followed him like an obedient puppy dog.

"I am still not sure I understand this command direction, Commander," EDI stated as Shepard headed for the coffee. "It seems…unreasonable."

"Do an extranet look up for the answer, EDI," Shepard told her as she poured a mug.

"I will do so, Commander. What should I look up?"

Shepard's gold and red eyes glimmered as she lifted the mug to her lips, a thin smile appearing.

"Payback."