A/N:
For those of you who were wondering why I didn't post a chapter while I was recouping and toked up on serious pain meds, I submit a little bit of writing I DID do during said recuperation whilst, in fact, toked up on pain meds.
A friend asked me to write something and I, lofty in my pharmaceutical heights, complied briefly… and this is what came out. No lie, this is the way my brain works when stoned on Vicodin. I'm amazed things are spelled correctly:
- Once upon a time there was a girl named DEEDEE. Cuz people need to know her name. Everyone knows her name, she's just that kinda chick you know? Where everyone knows her, and she's like…everywherrrrreee.
And this one time, at band camp…which was really weird cuz she doesn't even know how to play an instrument. But she knows how to spell, which is you know…very important. And shit.
And then Del walked into the CIC and she was like, Sam, dude…what the fuck man. Oh shit, I forgot the quotes.
And this is why I don't write when I'm high. Thank you very much, God bless motherfuckin' America.
But it was too late.
They were dead. -
Yeah. Can you imagine a whole chapter of that? Del would have ended up a ballerina, Liara would have run off with Ted Turner, and the Normandy would have been turned into a floating musical. Amusing as it would be, I decided discretion was the better part of valor.
As for this chapter, a special thanks once again to Bladhaire for her contributions!
On we go!
Joker shifted in his chair nervously, the discomfort of moving outweighed for the moment by his obvious disquiet over Riot's presence on board the Normandy. "I mean, what the hell do rachni even eat anyway?"
EDI, her chassis standing idly nearby, inclined her head. As Del approached the helm, unseen by her helmsman, she caught what could only be described as a sidelong glance from the synthetic towards the hapless pilot.
"Anything they can catch I believe. Rachni are omnivorous."
"Anything they can... are you kiddingme?"
"Is something wrong, Jeff?"
"Oh, no, nothing…I'm just the slowest guy on the ship, and-"
"I fail to see your point."
Shepard smirked as she halted behind his chair, the red-faced Joker still unaware she was there and listening.
"Oh, I get it. Funny EDI, really funny. You know I like you a lot more when you're testing out being human on other people. Why don't you go burn Javik again, I'm sure he's said or done thing to deserve it."
"You know, Javik is insectile as well," Shepard said, lifting a brow as Joker visibly startled and turned his head to gape at her.
"Captain!"
"Problem, Joker? You seem a bit jumpy."
"N-No, ma'am, I just-"
"Have concerns about Riot? Don't worry, Joker. I won't let her eat you, unless you give me a reason. How long until we reach the Veil?"
Joker's face reflected that he was clearly weighing whether or not she was joking, before he cleared his throat. "We've got about twenty hours, Captain."
"There's no way we can shave some time off of that?"
"I'll do my best but it'll be minutes at most," he said.
"Do it. I've got Traynor sending out pings toward the Fleet's relative location. Hopefully they'll actually answer us. I want you to be her back-up…you think you hear so much as a whisper from the quarians and I want to know about it, dong ma?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Shepard turned away from the helm, what faint levity she'd felt listening to the exchange between Joker and EDI long gone in the short time it took her to reach the CIC. Her head was starting to hurt again, tightening her brow and setting a scowl on her face that put the rest of the crew onto eggshells. Checking in briefly with Traynor once more, she headed for the QEC to speak to Hackett.
The man's face looked more careworn than before, translated even through the pale light of the holographic interface. "Shepard, what's your report?"
"I'm sending communications protocols to you, Admiral…and a head's up. You have about twenty ships heading your way full of workers for the Crucible."
"Twenty? God knows we can use every hand we can get…salarian?"
"No sir. Rachni."
To his continued credit, his surprise only amounted to a single lifted brow. "Rachni?"
"Yes sir. We rescued the Queen from Cerberus forces. In return she and her people have agreed to help in any capacity needed. They have ships and numbers…and surprising technical expertise. They can lift several times their weight and don't tire nearly as easily as the rest of us soft organics. They'll be of immense use and can bolster not only our fleets but our infantry when we get back to Earth."
"I trust you Shepard. I'll alert our security and patrols that the rachni are coming. Have you had any further luck with the asari or the salarians?"
"None, sir, but I'm continuing to work on the problem. However, it seems we've finally tracked down the quarian fleet. The Normandy is on her way to them now. Hopefully within a few days I'll be contacting you to tell you we've got the entire Flotilla on our side, and quarian engineers heading to the Crucible."
"That would be good news," he said with a nod. "I look forward to that report. Was there anything further?"
"Nothing now, sir. I'll call again in a few days. Shepard out."
As his image faded her headache seemed to sharpen, and she pinched the bridge of her nose with no small level of irritation. She could almost hear Liara in her head urging her to go up to the Nest and get some sleep, but Shepard felt far too on edge for rest at the moment, and it seemed that she still had a million and one things to do.
Coffee, then, and maybe a couple of aspirin to take the goddamn edge off. Then I've got to check in with Yoh at the battery and make sure the weapons' systems are at optimal in case we actually are heading into a war zone.
Damn quarians anyway. Bunch of stupid goddamn suit rats-
She physically tossed that thought away with a sharp shake of her head, her scowl deepening as she headed out of the QEC. She hadn't even reached the lift yet when she began to hum, the taut stitch of her brows softening slightly.
"This is everything you have?" Miranda asked as she looked up from the data pads scattered in front of her. She stood behind the bar at the Normandy's lounge, one hand resting on a half-full glass of brandy as she regarded the information spread before her. Seated on the other side of the wood surface, Nan, Liara, and Chakwas were holding fast to their drinks, the occasional idle sip making its way to their lips. Only Helen's beverage was non-alcoholic; though she was currently off-duty, one never could tell when an emergency would send a patient her direction, and she needed to remain clear-headed.
"That is all the information we were able to learn from the records we pulled from Earth, as well as Allers' claims and the brief outlines Mordin was able to make before he passed," Liara said. "It is all we know on both the Reaper's indoctrination processes, as well as Wyatt's."
"Both apparently used infrasound and subharmonics-…this is going to take me days to wade through. No wonder Shepard looks so haggard. How bad are the nightmares?"
"They are quite bad," Liara said. "Although she has been improving a bit the last few nights. I am able to use the Joining to help her process the dreams as they come and soothe her mind back into a relaxed state, but it is an arduous task, and only somewhat successful. Still, it's allowing her to manage an hour or two of sleep more per night."
"Getting four hours of sleep isn't all that much better than just getting one," Nan said, and Chakwas nodded.
"Without proper time spent in both REM and reparative sleep states it's a thin bandage at best. And it's taking its toll on you as well."
"I can think of no other way to help her," Liara said.
"Sadly, neither can I. Normally there's a few different kinds of sedative that I could prescribe but nothing works on her anymore, and each would dull down her REM states anyway…it would only buy her a little more time."
"The only cure for this is a cure," Nan said, looking hopefully at Miranda. "Unless we can repair or reverse what Wyatt did to her she's only going to continue to get worse. Liara's assistance can only pause the process so long."
"I'll do everything I can, of course," Miranda said, "but this is going to be difficult. It's going to take quite some time…time I'm not entirely sure we have. If stress and anger actually speed up this process than our biggest ally would be to halt all stress and anger triggers."
"Which is quite impossible, given our circumstances," Liara said.
"Del wouldn't know what to do without her anger," Nan said. "She channels it admirably but she depends on it a great deal…and it is her strength. The lack of it alone would stress her beyond comprehension."
"You know we'll do anything we can to help you, Miranda," Chakwas told her. "We just can't afford to 'wait and see'."
"I wasn't suggesting that," Miranda said, then nodded. "I'll put all my energies and spare time into this. I didn't spend two years rebuilding her to lose her to Osco's crazy brother. Given circumstances, however, things might soon get drastically worse."
"Yes," Liara said softly. "I do not want to imagine how she'll react if something has happened to Tali."
"The little quarian she calls her Mei Mei?" Nan asked, and the asari nodded.
"For Shepard, it would be like losing Paul all over again. Sydney's death was bad enough. Losing Tali, I fear, would break her for good."
"If Tali is lost, we'll have no other choice but to relieve Shepard of duty-" Miranda began, only to be fixed with a stern look from Liara.
"We cannot do that. Without Shepard, we may as well lie down in front of the Reapers and wait for the inevitable."
"It won't matter," Miranda replied. "If Tali's gone then we've already lost Del. She won't recover from it, not when she's already in this fragile of a state. She might decide to ram the Normandy into a Reaper's hull or go on a full suicide run against the entirety of the geth fleet, or, God forbid, take it out on the quarian Flotilla. She will be incapable of making any kind of rational decision-"
"You are not giving her enough credit," Liara said hotly. Miranda just looked sad.
"Liara, I know her inside and out, remember? The only thing worse for that woman than losing her Mei Mei would be losing you. If that happened, we wouldn't have to worry about what she'd do next…she'd simply put a bullet in her head."
"I will not-" Liara began, drawing herself to her full height, before the sound of the door even registered. It was Miranda's eyes darting that direction that truly drew her attention, and she turned her head to see Del standing there.
"What's going on?" the captain asked warily.
A momentary awkward silence followed before Nan left the bar and walked over to her. "We were just discussing you," she said honestly. "Come in, Del. Have a seat."
"Me?" Shepard asked, stepping over to the bar at Nan's urging. Immediately Miranda stacked up the data pads, then bent and fished out a bottle of whiskey and a glass, pouring a shot.
"We were discussing your condition," she said. "I've got Mordin's research and will be taking over trying to find you a cure."
"Oh."
The shot of whiskey was set in front of her, and Del's hand closed around it before it then loosened again, her fingers drumming on the bar top. "I'm fine," she said, as if someone had asked. "Liara's been helping me. I'm doing a lot better."
"The effect will be temporary," Liara said gently. "Eventually, the process will simply resume."
"Unless the changes in your brain can be reversed or managed," Miranda said, "I agree. You're on borrowed time, Del."
"I've been on goddamn 'borrowed time' since I was born," she said. "I'm fine. Just let me do my work and end this goddamn fucking war."
"No one is going to stop you, sweetheart," Nan told her. "You do what you need to do…just let Miranda do what she needs to do as well. If she can fix this, let her. Let her at least try."
Del's dark eyes shifted to her a moment before she nodded slightly, finally picking up the whiskey and downing it. "Fine. I would just appreciate it if the four of you wouldn't talk about me in secret little meetings, taking bets on just when I'm going to go bugfuck, ok? I'll be in the Nest."
"Del, that's not what we were doing," Nan said firmly. Shepard only gave her a look, half scooting the glass back on the bar before she straightened and headed for the door. The older woman started to follow her, but Liara touched her arm to halt her, stepping past and going after her instead.
"Shepard, please stop a moment," she said as they reached the lift. Del gave her a look but did halt, lips tight. Reaching out, the asari gently rested her hands on her shoulders. "We are your friends, Del. You know that is not what we were doing."
"Wouldn't fucking blame you," Shepard said in return. "If my CO was going through this bullshit, fuck knows I'd be questioning her up and down. Just…promise me something."
"Anything."
"If you guys decide to forcibly relieve me of duty, make sure Garrus stays in command, ok? No matter what I might say or do."
"That is not going to happen," Liara told her firmly. "Are you afraid that you are going to relieve Garrus as your XO?"
"I don't know what the fuck I'd do, Tianlán. If I'm out of my mind enough you need to relieve me, than I might just be at the point I'm cursing him just for being a turian. He stays in command, ok? Promise me."
"I promise," Liara said with understanding. "But it will not come to that."
Shepard only glanced moodily away. Eyes softening, Liara lifted a hand and gently touched her cheek, drawing her eyes back toward her. "She will be all right, Del. Tali is strong and smart."
"I know," came the mumbled answer. "I know she is."
Shepard was ensconced in the CIC an hour before they reached the edge of the Veil. Traynor stood nearby at her station, and had given up the pings for direct QEC messaging. Her voice filled the air with the same message every two minutes exactly.
"Quarian Fleet, this is SSV Normandy, please respond."
Two minutes of silence would inevitably follow. Each stretch felt like it was getting longer and longer.
"We have confirmation on the conflict," Liara said as she approached Del. "EDI has picked up clear indications of eezo radiation and traces of weapons-fire consistent with both quarian and geth technology. Within the next ten minutes we shall be able to scan for debris."
Shepard's hands tightened on the equipment railing, but her face remained set. "Traynor, continue your messages. EDI, are you reading any live ships, quarian or otherwise?"
"Radiation levels are too high at this juncture to give a clear reading, however the weapons-fire appears ongoing. It is my conclusion that the battle is continuing, and therefore both geth and quarian ships must still be intact."
"Keep scanning. I want word the instant you have numbers and idents."
"Yes, Captain."
"Quarian Fleet, this is SSV-"
"SSV Normandy, this is Admiral Daro'Xen vas Moreh."
As the voice filled the air, Shepard's head shot up, and she strode over to Traynor, touching the reply herself. "Admiral, this is Captain Shepard. We are on our way to your coordinates now with a solid ETA of forty minutes. Respond."
"Radiation is making communications over distance difficult, Captain. We will not be able to maintain this contact long. I am sending you coordinates now. Please be prepared to rendezvous with our shuttle at that location. Daro'Xen out."
"What the fu-…Admiral! Admiral, please respond!"
No answer. Shepard glared, slapping her hand on the console. "Fucking chun. Joker, you have coordinates incoming now. Be prepared to pick up a shuttle at that location."
Admiral Xen couldn't even give her ten seconds to see if Tali were all right. No, she had to order her like ordering a dog to heel.
"Traynor, make sure the conference room is prepared. The moment the Admiral's shuttle is aboard send her there to talk to me. Liara, Garrus, I want you there as well. Joker, keep us in stealth until we know what the fuck is going on, and keep tabs on every hostile you can. I don't want the Normandy pulled into this conflict until we're prepared."
Shepard was pacing the conference room when EDI informed her that the shuttle had been retrieved and that the Admirals were on their way up. Liara could see the human woman tense even more at that: Admirals. Plural. Seemed they wouldn't just get the pleasure of Daro'Xen alone.
Standing stiffly at the head of the table, hands tucked behind her back, the only betrayal of Shepard's mood and worry was a faint glitter in her eyes…beyond that, she was every inch the professional. Fortunately for Xen, it was Shala'Raan who was first through the door, already speaking as if she knew just what Del's mood was going to be.
"Captain Shepard, it is good to see you again, and I apologize for the abruptness of the earlier communication. Thank you for meeting with us. To be honest, we are relieved at the Normandy's arrival."
"We have been looking for the Flotilla for quite some time now, and we-"
Shepard broke off as a fifth figure stepped in on the heels of the other four Admirals. She schooled her breath of relief well, but Liara could feel it echoed in the wake of her own.
"Tali…"
"Captain Shepard," the young quarian greeted with a polite nod. Shala'Raan looked around, then nodded.
"Captain, forgive me. This is our newest Admiral."
Shepard blinked. "Admiral?"
"Yes, well." Tali ducked her head a little, bashfully. "I've had the most experience with the geth. It's more honorary than anything else."
"Honorary nothing," Shala'Raan replied. "Tali has earned her place."
"I believe it," Shepard said, glancing at the girl a moment with a faint smile, before fixing the others with a look. "Admirals, I must say we were quite alarmed to find that you've engaged in this war with the geth-"
"A war we were winning, until just recently," Han'Gerrel told her. "We've pushed the geth all the way back to the home system. Unfortunately new circumstances have forced the tide out of our favor…namely, it seems the geth have sided with the Reapers."
Seeing Shepard's expression, Raan nodded. "It is true, unfortunately. We have detected a Reaper signal being transmitted to all the geth ships engaged with the Fleet. The geth are responding and reacting with far more efficiency since it began, and the Flotilla is now in immense danger."
"This war was a mistake," Shepard said sternly. "You all knew the Reapers were coming, and you decided to throw your forces against the geth instead? What did you think they would do when you started to press them so hard? Roll over and surrender? Of course they sided with the Reapers! You're threatening to wipe out all of their people!"
"I would hardly call them people, Captain," Daro'Xen said. "They are tools that have gone astray…though I will agree with you on one point. If the geth are utterly wiped out, we will not be able to reintegrate them into our service-"
"That is a point on which you and I most vehemently do not agree," Shepard said dangerously.
"That's as may be. Right now, the situation is as it is. Unless we can stop that Reaper signal, the geth fleet will utterly destroy the Flotilla. We need your aid, Captain."
This was from Zaal'Koris. Shepard's obsidian eyes landed on him, her jaw tightening. "Talk fast."
"We have pinpointed the origin of the Reaper signal," he said. "There is a geth cruiser near the far border of the battle, very well guarded. The signal is being transmitted along their tight-beam communications from there. The ship is somewhat damaged but the entire enemy fleet is concentrated to keep it safe. None of our ships can get close."
"But yours can," Xen said. "Your Normandy has stealth systems we have not yet been able to implement. You can get close enough to the ship to get a strike team aboard. Find the source of the signal and eliminate it. That should not only weaken the geth forces, but disorient them long enough for us to take them down."
"You want me to help you wipe out an entire species?"
"A species that is now sadly indoctrinated, Captain," Raan reminded her. "We have no choice. If we fail to do this, the quarian people are doomed, and the geth will join the Reapers in their assault on the rest of the galaxy. You cannot afford that any more than we can."
Shepard's hands, resting on the back of one of the chairs around the table, tightened to the point her knuckles turned white. She glanced at Garrus, who nodded slightly, before she looked back at the others. "We have to restrict casualties as much as possible," she conceded at last. "Garrus will show you to the war room. You can communicate with and conduct your ships from there. I'll have Joker head for this cruiser now, and we will not be able to transfer you safely back to your own vessels until it's taken out."
"Captain, if I may…I would like to come along on the strike party," Tali said. Shepard nodded only once.
"Stay here and I'll go over the plan with you then. Garrus, if you could show the other Admirals to the war room?"
"This way, please," the turian said, gesturing at the door. The four elder quarians stepped out, and barely had the door slid shut than Tali launched herself at Del, hugging the human woman tightly. Shepard's return embrace was no less tight, and she lifted the younger woman clear off her feet for a moment before setting her down again.
"I'm so glad you're all right, Mei Mei," she said thickly. "When no one could find the Fleet…"
"I know, I'm sorry. It's…it's a long story, Shepard. But it is so good to see you again. I missed you."
"I missed you too, kiddo," Shepard said, closing her eyes. "I missed you too."
